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- >Day the price is finally right in Equestria.
- >Wake up.
- >$hit. $hower. And $have.
- >Mosey on back to your room and pick out your outfit for today.
- >White undershirt, black suit, black pants, green mask?
- Nah.
- >White undershirt, black suit, black pants, green mask?
- >You take a whiff and reel.
- Whuff-
- >They smell like the entire Apple family had an orgy and used your clothes for the sheets.
- >And then had Winona shit on them for good measure.
- Pass.
- >White undershirt, black suit, black pants, green mask?
- It's perfect!
- >Don your attire with perfect timing.
- >As you lace up your second shoe, you hear a rapping coming from the front of your house.
- Well, at least she waited for me to get dressed today...
- >You walk to your door and do some quick aerobics to stretch out your punting leg before reaching a hand out and turning the knob.
- >Despite being a seasoned Flutter-fetish-attemptee, the sight before you still manages to elicit shock.
- >Fluttershy is wearing a stunning, glimmering, silver dress.
- >She has her mane done up with a few pins.
- >And she's sporting one of those needlessly long, pencil thin microphones.
- >As for what it's plugged into, you haven't the slightest.
- >"A-Anon..." Fluttershy says meekly as she fidgets on the spot. "C-C-Cum..."
- >You tap a finger to your chin.
- All this work and you're still going to just rush right into it?
- >She blushes but simply redoubles her efforts. "C-C-C-Come on d-d-down!"
- >She whimpers and shuts her eyes as loud music and lights flash from nowhere.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ZkWiGprrc
- HOLY FUCK THE WHAT?
- >A red carpet rolls out, leading to a stage set with three curtains and a podium.
- >Wait. When did that get there?
- >You turn around and walk back inside, shutting and locking your door.
- >Unfortunately, the music also manages to follow you inside.
- >You sigh.
- >There's really no use trying.
- >You walk back outside and up to the podium.
- >Luckily, you are rewarded with the cessation of the blaring trumpets.
- >Fluttershy nervously trots to center stage wearing a weak smile before tripping over her microphone cord.
- >She falls with a squeak, managing to tangle herself up in the wire as she struggles.
- >Your palm meets your face and you drag it down to your chin.
- God damnit, Fluttershy.
- >You leave your podium to go rescue the hapless mare.
- >Fortunately, since her natural response to danger is to tense up and fall over, she is easy to extricate.
- >Once the deed is done, you return to the podium and cradle your head in your palm.
- >Fluttershy stands back up and hides behind her mane. "Th-Thank you, Anon..."
- >You give a sweeping motion with your free hand.
- Let's just get this over with, shall we?
- >She straightens up and whimpers. "O-Okay..."
- >Spotlights flare up and all train themselves on you.
- >"Welcome to 'W-Who Wants What's Behind the C-Curtain?'"
- >A fanfare plays flaccidly.
- >You swirl your index finger in the air apathetically.
- Woo...
- >"So, Anon... D-Do you know h-how to play?" Her mane moves to hide her right eye yet again.
- Go ahead.
- >You drum your fingers along your dais.
- >"W-Well, I show you what's behind each curtain and you p-pick one. And that's your prize..."
- >You stop drumming, waiting for her to continue her explanation.
- >She doesn't.
- Wait... That's it?
- >She nods.
- How is this a game? Are there even any stakes?
- >She flinches at your peeved expression. "I guess n-not..." She looks to the ground and sulks.
- >Damn. You actually feel a little bad for the overgrown canary...
- Alright, fine.
- >You sigh.
- I'll play your silly little game.
- >Your stomach rumbles.
- And then I'm getting breakfast.
- >She squees and flutters over to the far-left set of drapes labeled with a big number [spoiler]Apple[/spoiler] >One.
- >"W-Well, Anon. Let's see what's behind..."
- >A drum roll starts up and the spotlights go crazy before focusing on the numbered placard.
- >"Curtain Number O-One!"
- >The veil parts dramatically to reveal...
- >"A fully functional c-cum-poo-turr... with magical access to Earth's internet..."
- >You perk up from your previous slouch.
- >"The parts are replaced magically to accommodate for the l-latest tech-technological developments and any software you want can be downloaded for free."
- Holy shit... How is that even possible? Fluttershy, that's amazing!
- >She smiles triumphantly. "Well, mister. Don't decide just yet." She prances over to the next curtain.
- >"Because you haven't seen what's behind Curtain Number Two!"
- >The fanfare and light show repeats itself.
- >The drapes part and your nose is met with a medley of savory smells.
- >Before you is an immaculately set table displaying a huge variety of succulent meat.
- >"Sirloin, steak, h-hamburger, glazed ham, bacon, ribs, chicken. Any kind of meat your h-human taste buds desire, yours for free, anytime you want, for a lifetime!"
- >You can tell that she's forcing a smile.
- Fluttershy... You didn't have to...
- >She sniffles. "If it's for you Anon... I'll do an-anything."
- >With a shake of her head, she perks back up and flies over to the final set of hanging covers.
- >"Finally, there's Curtain Number Three!"
- >Again the curtain opens, this time leaving in its wake a mural of Fluttershy, bent over and exposing her plot.
- >You dry heave.
- >"You get to have h-hot monkey sex anytime you want with this b-beautiful mare, voted prettiest p0ny in P0nyville in the latest issue of 'Mare Models'. Y-You'll spend countless hours p-pounding her soaking wet-"
- Okay, okay! That's enough! Give me a minute to make my decision.
- >She nods and more music starts up.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wi8Fv0AJA4
- >Well, Curtain Three is definitely out.
- >So it's between a computer that constantly updates itself and is hooked up to the internet or meat whenever you fucking want it.
- >Damn. It'd be really nice to have your internet life back...
- >But you haven't had meat in months...
- >And you can still smell it wafting its way to you.
- >Your stomach grumbles.
- >Damnit. This decision is biased...
- >You close your eyes tight and take a deep breath.
- >Meat sounds good, but...
- >If you had your computer back you could probably actually bear to live in this place.
- >And you'll get to talk to all of your friends again.
- >You open your eyes and seek out Fluttershy.
- Alright. I've made my choice.
- >"Alright, A-Anon. Which prize do you pick?"
- I choose...
- >Drum roll and lights.
- Curtain Number One.
- >Confetti and streamers fall from the sky as more music plays.
- >Fluttershy claps her hooves together. "Congratulations, Anon. I hope you enjoy your brand new cum-poo-turr!"
- >She leans in close to you. "Unless..."
- >The music stops.
- >"You want to take whatever is in the Mystery Box..." She grins and presents a cardboard prism no bigger than an ordinary shoe box.
- Mystery... Box...?
- >Your blood runs cold and sweat starts to form on your brow.
- Mystery...
- >Your body tenses as your adrenaline starts to flow through you.
- Box?
- >Foam starts to form at the corners of your mouth.
- >Shit.
- >Who can resist the allure of the Mystery Box?
- >Literally anything could be in there.
- >Even a badass computer.
- >You know how long you've wanted something like that!
- >Fluttershy jiggles the box in front of you. "Of course, it would be pretty silly to take the-"
- I'LL TAKE THE BOX!
- >You snatch it from her hooves and rip the top off.
- >Inside you find nothing other than-
- [spoiler]>A dragon dildo[/spoiler]
- >You fall to your knees, your spirit crushed.
- FUUUUUUUUUUUU-
- >Fluttershy puts a hoof up to cover her mouth as she giggles.
- >"Silly Anon. The Mystery Box is always a [spoiler]dragon dildo.[/spoiler]
- >Fucking Mystery Box.
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