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- >You can almost see Celestia's giant white ass from here.
- >"Oh, Rainbow!" You hear a timid voice call out. You look to see Flutters flying up to you, and you float down
- >You can actually somewhat control your descent. Somehow, wings feel a lot more comfortable
- "FLUTTERS CHECK THIS SHIT OUT"
- >You lean to the side and start strafing, faster and faster until you smack into the side of a building
- >Fluttershy looks at you for a moment. "U-um, good job!"
- >She totally loves it.
- >Rainbow pushed off it and goes back to floating, rubbing the side of her face. You feel alive. Living sucks
- >You want to die again.
- >"Ow. So, what's up, 'Shy?"
- >She floats up next to you. "My day has been going well. How are you two?"
- >"I'm great!"
- "Not bad. Today's been good!"
- >She clapped her hooves together. "Good! I'm glad to hear it."
- >You grin at the sight, and Rainbow takes over control again, doing a loop around her childhood friend
- >What a majestic fag-bird.
- >"So, 'Shy, what'll you be up to today?"
- >"Oh, nothing. What about you?"
- >She sighed. "I'm booored."
- >Fluttershy looked up to the sky. "What would you like to do, Anon?"
- >You
- >with muh dik
- >sexually
- >Now that your primordial reptile brainstem has been sated by that display of prickery, you actually think for once
- "I have no fingers and I must vidya."
- >Fluttershy brightened up. "So you were a griffon? Diamond Dog? Dragon?"
- "Let's go fuck around in the everfree forest."
- >The cute one reared back, and the other raised an eyebrow. "Anon, why would we do that?"
- "Worst case scenario, one of you guys dies. I'm okay with that."
- >You lower yourselves to the ground, and Rainbow sighed. "Yeah? Well I'm not!"
- "But Rainbow, then Twilight would have to build ANOTHER lich-changeling-jar! That'd piss her off!"
- >"Pfft." She suppressed a grin.
- "And Flutters, it would be an EXPEDITION! A sort of safari in discovering new species of animal!"
- >Fluttershy looked to the ground, as if actually considering it. "Well...if you want too..."
- >You started towards it, eventually the ground dried enough to walk on. You heave a deep breath as you touch down
- >You hadn't really noticed it, but you were starting to get tired.
- >You looked into the shaded woods in front of you, the path slowly becoming less and less defined
- >Fluttershy audiably gulped, and you sat down, wraping a arm around her shoulder.
- "No worries! We've got this! C'mon, you guys used to go in there all the time!"
- >Fluttershy blinked. "How did you know that?"
- "Why are you such a pussy?"
- >"Because I want to live."
- "Douché."
- >"Um, I think it's pronounced tou--"
- >You stand up and drag her by the hoof into the shade. Dash giggles. "Don't worry, 'Shy! I'll protect ya!"
- >She sighed in bitter acceptance. You intuitively know that you will hear that often in the years to come.
- >After a few minutes, the forest suddenly took a darker tone, most of the sunlight blocked off by dense treetops
- >Occasionally you come across glowing life, mushrooms and various tree-dwelling lizards
- >Fluttershy slowly begins to ease up, and starts to enjoy the trip even more than you
- >You happily listen to her talk about the differences between average specimens and everfree variants
- >She suddenly stops and halts you, walking around a large blue flower. "Poison joke! Don't touch it."
- >You immedietly start to reach for it, and Rainbow wrests control at the last minute, throwing you into the air
- >"What the hell, Anon?!"
- "I NEED IT FOR PRANKS"
- >Fluttershy pulls you down from the air and gives a stern glare. "No, Anon! Bad!"
- "But praaanks!"
- >You stick your bottom lip out, and her stare softens. "W-well..."
- >Rainbow pushes her away. "Uh, no! No thanks, I've had enough poison joke for a lifetime!"
- >While they're distracted by eachother, you reach for the flower and pull it by the stem
- >All is quiet for a moment, neither of them daring to move.
- "Hey guys, what's the weirdest thing that ever happened to you?"
- >They are silent
- "This one time, I went in the forest, and I found a bunch of mushrooms, and I ate them."
- >You can feel Rainbow making a confused expression, and Fluttershy looks even more worried.
- "They weren't hallucinogenic or anything. It was just a box of shiitake mushrooms. Sitting under a tree."
- >A bead of sweat drifts down your brow.
- "So like, what's the weirdest thing that ever happened to you?"
- >Rainbow starts to move the flower, and you immediately hold it closer to your body, stopping her dead
- "This one time I was was a horse, and I was looking at another horse, and I was like, I'm not gay, but I'd totally do her."
- >Fluttershy leans back subtly, and Rainbow takes increasingly unsteady breaths
- "This one time I was doing a thing, and I--"
- >Dash stops you, taking over your mouth. "Anon, you dont have to--"
- >You shove the flower in her mouth. Aint no bitch be interrupting you.
- >You bite into it, and then spit it out.
- "I regret nothing."
- >She places her hooves on the side of her head. "Oh no. Nononononono!"
- >You feel the warp overtaking you
- >Fluttershy takes your hooves and pulls you to your feet. "Dash! We need to get you to Zecora quickly, before it takes hold!"
- >Dash barely lets her finish the sentence before locking arms and bolting down the path, carrying her best friend in one arm
- >As you start to feel your organs rumble beneath you, you see a light before you
- >The both of you hit the ground, and bang on the door. Zecora opens it, bewildered.
- >"Why so spastic?! Is it something drastic?!"
- >Rainbow is too busy gasping for breath after sprinting, and Fluttershy gestures wildly with her hooves. "Poison joke!"
- >Zecora lowered her head and heaved a sigh. "Is it that time again? How long has it been?"
- >You nod and grin
- "I fucked up!"
- >She appeared unsurprised. "It is not so bad, stop acting so mad."
- >"I could lose my wings, doc!" Rainbow fell to the ground in front of her, grabbing her front leg. "Never again..."
- >"It is temporary, you whining fairy."
- "Hah. Even Zecora thinks you're a faggot."
- >Zecora pulls her hoof back and raises a wary eyebrow. "Excuse me, but what the--"
- >Dash coughs. "I'm also being posessed."
- >The zigger nods. Faux-wise bitch. "Ah, yes, I have the physical fix for this spiritual mix."
- >Fluttershy nervously looked side to side. "What do you mean?"
- >"To make him pass on, I--"
- >The three of you scream "NO" at once, causing her to jump back
- >"Son of a bitch, I've forgotten my rhyme. As I am a witch: You'll pay for this crime."
- >Rainbow gulped. "W-what kind of pay?"
- >"Every day from dawn till dusk, you pester me with this 'trust'."
- >"W-what...?"
- >"Earlier the pink one came to whine, claiming to be in need of lime!"
- >Rainbow inched back, and Zecora kept on. "As if I had a knick or knack or rhyme or snack for every party she has shat!
- >"And if I knew that I would not have given friendship back!"
- >Fluttershy started to raise her hoof, and Zecora shushed her.
- >"And at that time, I was only to find, it was for you who had gotten in trouble as if it were mine!
- >"You have princesses at your side, and yet it is me you must confide?!
- >"In short, my 'sweet cohort', I DONT look forward to your friendship reports!"
- >She was breathing deeply, her face more red than white or black. Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, and Zecora immedietly shut it
- >"I aint fixing your shit today!"
- >She slammed the door in your face.
- >
- "PffhahAHAHAHAHAHA"
- >Your laugh echos through the forest, and you stand up, walking back towards the exit of the deepwoods
- >Rainbow mentally curls into a ball, and Fluttershy rushes after you. "What are we gonna do?!"
- "Keep laughing! Hahahaha!"
- >You start to wind down your laugher, and wipe a tear off your face
- >except you don't
- >You're still laughing
- >Why are you laughing so hard? This is starting to hurt
- >You try to take a deep breath and find out you can't. You cough a few times and immedietly start cackling again
- >Shit.
- "Haha-f-fluttersHAHAHA, Fluttershy, I can't stop!"
- >You continue your mad fit, nearly falling on the ground, holding your belly.
- >Fluttershy frowns. "You are being very mean right now!"
- "Hahahaha!"
- >Your frenzied laughter, finding your voice to become scratchy and strained
- "It's the poison joke! Hahahaha"
- >A look of realization dons on her, and she nods, helping you up. "Come on, we'll find something!"
- >A painfully long journey later, you're out of the everfree and inside ponyville
- >Each pony shoots you a odd glace or frightened face as they keep a wide berth
- >"F-Fluttershhahaha!" Rainbow tries to speak, "Why are they looking at me like t-hahaha!"
- >She grits her teeth. "Don't worry, Dashie, just keep moving."
- >You make it to the castle, nearly keeling over into the grass more than once
- >Fluttershy keeps a good hold of you, though, and you make it up the steps. She rings the doorbell, and a moment later came the pop
- >Twilight opened the door, looking refreshed. She yawned for a moment. "Ahh, hey Fluttershy, how are--SWEET CELESTIA"
- >She jumps when she sees you, and you fall to the floor, kicking your legs in the air
- "That was genuinely funny! Hahaha, but not that funny. Hahaha!"
- >Fluttershy quickly explained the situation. You think. you couldn't hear, you were laughing too hard
- >Eventually you run out of breath, though, and you wake up covered in purple light.
- >"I swear, you two together cause too much trouble to handle."
- >You immedietly start giggling, although it is subdued.
- >"Oh, Anon's awake." You feel your mouth moving for you
- >Oh yeah, you're sharing a body.
- >You take a better look around. You're sitting on a couch, and Twilight and Fluttershy are in front of you
- "Heya."
- >Fluttershy sighed and put a hoof to her chest. "Thank goodness you're safe. The both of you!"
- >You stop and try for once in your life to actually genuinely smile, before the giggles take over
- >"This stopped being funny around 30 minutes ago, Anon."
- >Twilight cleared her throat to get your attention. It somewhat worked. "I'm afraid that's not all."
- >She wheels a mirror in front of you
- >Your mane is black, and you have black spots all over you
- >THE DREAM IS ALIVE
- >You raise your hooves in the air and give a celebratory "HOO"
- >You crack up again, and keep giggling harder until Twilight zaps you, calming it back down
- >"Poison joke, huh? Thought it would be funny, is that right?"
- "Hey, to be fair..."
- >You stop for a moment, getting a breath
- "Pranks."
- >You begin chuckling again
- >Rainbow wheezes and grabs her ribcage. "My lungs haven't ached this much since my first rainboom."
- >Twilight rolls her eyes. "Rainbow, you're just as much to blame! Going to the everfree, really?"
- "Hey, she only did it on the possibility of annoying you, so I think it's justified!"
- >Rainbow begins the cackling again and Twilight zaps a second time, causing you to wince.
- >"Look, I can't spend all day zapping you. You have to stay calm and try not to break out again."
- >She turns around and heads back to her study
- "What if we do?"
- >"Try not to die."
- "Oh, like that worked the first time!"
- >You begin laughing harder, and a zap curves directly from the doorway into your face, feeling like a kick in the snout
- "Then again, I didn't try all that hard on the first go round."
- >Silence
- >Right, kid's show.
- >You jump off the couch, and start walking to the door, and Fluttershy throws a hoof up
- >"Wait! What if you start laughing again?!"
- >Your smile barely holds back a chuckle. "You'll just have to hit me! Don't worry, it's not like it'll mess up her face."
- >Your laughter begins again and you barely contain it
- >You're going to have to stop being funny.
- >implying you ever were
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