Kelsey is sorry

Alexithymiaa: -Brad was in his bedroom editing which is what he's done for the majority of his days for the last week. He had Connor in his room with him, positioned in front of the tv amongst the cushions with Mulan playing because that shit has been on Freeform a lot lately for some reason. Good soundtrack. Brad's attention was focused deeply on his editing because he had a deadline and this shit was coming together nicely finally.-
Covet: Kelsey had spent the last couple of days in her dorm room. Listening to music , and writing. Lots of writing. She'd skipped out on doing her home work for most of the week, but had notified her teachers of what was up. She looked at the pages and pages of things she'd written spread out on the bed. Kelsey was leaning on her knee pushing her hair back out of her face she took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh. "C'mon Kels, you have to go say something. Grow up and quit hiding." She mumbled to herself and got up walking over to the door so that she could head over to Brad's side of the dorm.
Alexithymiaa: -Pulling one earbud out so he could hear where in Mulan Connor was at so he knew how much time he had left to work before he had to switch Connor's activity, he nodded to himself before spinning around in his chair to look at him. "You doing okay, Little Man? Thirsty?"-
Covet: Connor looked over at Brad and shook his head, "I'm okay, Dad. I don't need a drink" His eyes went back to the movie, because his focus was all about the movie // She walked up to his door and took another deep breath, pausing as she listened through his door, hearing Mulan playing, and then heard Brad asking something. She gave the softest smile when she heard Connor's voice. She closed her eyes and knocked on the door gently.
Alexithymiaa: (LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS)
Alexithymiaa: (TO DEFEAT)
Alexithymiaa: (THE HUNS)
Alexithymiaa: -Since he'd removed his earbud to ear Connor and the movie, he actually heard the gentle knock on his door. He pretty much assumed it was Kelsey because no one else ever actually showed up at his dorm. Pushing up from the desk, he walked across the room, glancing back at Connor briefly before pulling the door open to stand in the doorway, his eyes falling down on Kelsey. "He's fine."-
Covet: Looking back at him she nodded her head, "I know. I trust that you've taken care of him." She said looking down. "I was actually hoping that we could talk. If you're not busy, I know you have a deadline with the edit for the Kitten's video." Kelsey pulled the sleeves of her top down over her hands. " Please?"
Alexithymiaa: -He let out a sigh, looking back over his shoulder at Connor intently watching Mulan like it was his fucking job. I know, Kid. I understand. Turning back to face her, he started to step out of the room. "I'll be right back, okay Bud?" He called out to him before closing his door behind him because he didn't want Connor to hear any of their conversation. Taking a few steps down the hall and away from the door for good measure, he crossed his arms over his chest, staring at Kelsey.-
Covet: "Okay Dad." He said without even taking his eyes away from the movie. // Kelsey kept her head down and walked down the hallway a bit with him. She looked at him crossing his arms and reached out to push them down gently, "Don't...not like that...please." She said not wanting to tell him it reminded her of her Dad. "I owe you a billion apologies, and I owe Connor a billion more. But before I say that, I need to tell you Thank you. Thank you for stepping up for Connor, when I clearly couldn't." She said, swallowing as she felt her eyes starting to water up.
Alexithymiaa: -He lowered his arms to fall down to his sides, letting out a deep sigh since he already knew that was the first wave of giving in to her. "Of course. Regardless of what's going on between you and me, I still care about him and I still want to do right by him."-
Covet: "And you're doing just that. You didn't have to.. you don't have to, but the fact that you did, not for me, but for him, I can't express my gratitude enough." Kelsey said then sniffled as she got herself back together. "That leads me to apologizing to you. Because I took advantage of you, of what we have.... and that was completely unfair to you."
Alexithymiaa: "You're right." He spoke in a flat tone because he was still hurt and not done being hurt about this yet. "It was unfair to me. And you did take advantage of me. But do you actually see that, or do you just know it because I told you?"-
Covet: "I know it because I see it. Even right now, I'm still taking advantage of you, by Connor being with you for the last two days." Kelsey said to him. "I know that I was selfish, I was caught up in this whole idea that I'm in charge of my own life, and I could do what I want. And it was stupid to think there wouldn't be consequences for that. Regardless of how much I thought I needed that feeling." She told him looking back at him.
Alexithymiaa: "Well... good. I'm glad. The sad truth about your life is it will never be your own. But you know what? My parents say the same about their lives. And I'm sure your parents have said the same thing too. Because that's what happens when you become a parent. You become responsible for someone else until they're responsible enough to do it for themselves. And then even then you still put them first because that's what being a parent is about. And if you're not okay with that.. well then you messed up because that's the way it has to be. I never ask you to put me first and you don't have to. But there's a difference between putting me first and being respectful."-
Covet: Nodding her head she bit back the words she wanted to say, because they would have been counter productive to her apology, and just because she wanted to say them, didn't make them right. "Please... don't lecture me on being a parent. I know all of these things. I do. And please don't assume that because I had a moment where I wasn't okay with it, that I messed up. It's easy for you to say that in your shoes, but I never got the chance to be independent . I went from being dependent, to being depended on. Part of me thought I could have that independence right along side what we have. But I know better. and if I continue to want that, it's only going to mess up everything I've worked so hard for." Kelsey told him taking a deep breath. "I lied to you and betrayed you, and hurt you, and for what, an ego boost? There are other ways I can feel good and in control, that don't disrespect and jeopardize us."
Alexithymiaa: -Brad nodded because he didnt disagree with her words dispite her clearly being a little annoyed with what he'd been insinuating. "As long as you know that kid-" He lifted his hand, pointing toward his dorm room door. "-will always come first, that's what matters. And just because we have an open relationship with the freedoms to be more independent from each other than most people doesn't mean we're not still together. We agreed on a few things, and that was being open and honest. I never tried to hide what I do or what I'm up to with who. Hell, half the time you're involved. I don't want to feel excluded from you and your wants, either. If this is just about an ego boost and feeling in control, we'll find that for you."-
Covet: "Of course. If there were any words, or actions that I regret the most right now it's letting Connor hear me say any of what I said on Tuesday, and for not putting him first when I acted like I did with Thomas." Kelsey told him. "I'm not even sure what it was I was wanting at this point, aside from the fact that it felt good at the time. It doesn't now. I won't hide what I'm doing, or what feeling or any of that again."
Alexithymiaa: "Thank you." He said quickly, ducking his head a bit before glancing at his dorm door. "Now do you want to go in and talk to Connor and apologize to him too?"-
Covet: "Bradley, I'm so sorry for how I hurt you. And I don't know how or why... or if I even really deserve it...but the fact that you're putting up with me... with what I did, and taking care of a kid that you don't owe anything to, means the world to me. I don't know how to repay you back for all of that, or where to to even start, but I'll try." She told him reaching for his hand as she looked at the door. " I do... how has he been?" Kelsey asked hesitating as she looked at the door.
Alexithymiaa: -Brad waved her off, starting to laugh. "Don't worry, I'll do something to fuck it up soon enough." Because it was the truth and he knew that. "He's been... different. Timid, if anything. I think he saw a different side of you the other night and he doesnt know how to take it."-
Covet: "Oh god... please dont say that either...I really don't want the precipice of our relationship being who can fuck up worst or most often." She said closing her eyes then bit her lip, pulling on her sleeves again. "I think I'm more nervous to apologize to him than I was you. I could see how scared he was that night..."
Alexithymiaa: "Well not to be a jerk, but you should be. I know I matter to you and whatever else, but no one matters like he matters. Just talk to him. Be open and honest to an extent, and show him how you're not the person he saw the other night." He reached forward and put his hand on her shoulder, looking into her face. "He'll get over it."-
Covet: Kelsey nodded her head, "You can totally be a jerk. In regards to this." She said making sure to clarify. "Okay..." taking a deep breath she walked over to the door and opened it up, to see that the movie had been over for a little bit and Connor was just watching whatever had come on after, because Brad wasn't back yet. Kelsey smiled and spoke softly as she went to go sit with him. "Hey Kiddo...I missed you...." // Connor sat up and gave a smile, "Momma...." He said then gave a furrowed look, as she sat down with him "are you done taking care of yourself?"
Alexithymiaa: -Brad turned to follow her into the room, closing his door behind him and taking a seat down on the floor with them. He didnt want to interrupt whatever she wanted to say to Connor.-
Covet: Kelsey nodded at Connor and opened up her arms for him. "I think so, Come here... I need to tell you something, really important." // Connor looked at her then climbed into her lap where she hugged him close and kissed his head. "What is it?" he asked her quietly, because he could see that she looked a little sad or some sort of emotion // Kelsey held him like that for a long moment before she sniffled a bit. "I'm sorry. I did some things that I shouldn't have, and they hurt you, and Dad. And I know I scared you, too. I'm really really sorry for that. I was being selfish and I wasn't thinking about you, or Dad. It was wrong of me to treat you guys like that, because you are both very important to me."
Alexithymiaa: -Brad smiled faintly as he listened to her, reaching his hand out to supportively put it on her back because that was a very cute apology to a four year old. "Do you think it would be okay if Momma joins the sleepover tonight?"-
Covet: Connor looked at her and listened to her, nodding his head, "I was scared. You were angry, and I didn't know if it was my fault." // Kelsey looked at him and held his face, before hugging him close again, "Oh my goodness, no baby.. it wasn't your fault at all, you didn't do anything wrong. You could never make me angry like that. I made myself angry. It was my fault." // Connor was feeling slightly squished but he nodded his head and looked at Kelsey, "Yeah, if you're feeling better you should sleepover with us." // Kelsey nodded and wiped her eyes a bit, "I am feeling better, and if Dad's okay with it, then I'll sleepover with you guys."
Alexithymiaa: "I think it sounds like a good idea. Too bad you missed out on tonight's movie, so the only thing left is the sleep part." He pushed up to his feet, offering his hands down to them to help them up. "Let's get into bed."-
Covet: Kelsey took Brad's help to get up, along with Connor, "It's okay, I get to sleep with my two favorite guys tonight, and no movie can beat that." She told them as she walked over to his bed so that she could help Connor get tucked in for the night.
Alexithymiaa: -He walked over to the bed and kicked off his shoes, sliding out of his pants so he was in his boxers. Climbing into bed, he waited for Kelsey to tuck Connor in before sliding over to make room for her to join him on the bottom bunk.-