Lovestruck

I have wanting to get together with my crush since the final day of my school, June 21. I have made every call to her each time we talked and she hasn't called me. She went on vacation to the Cape without telling me, which I'm fine with. She doesn't need to explain her whole life to me. I called about twice while she was gone. Since then I've felt so bad for not calling. I haven't called since the 5th of July. At that day, I didn't get an answer. I feel bad but I don't know how to call her and talk to her about not calling her. I've been busy, yes, but I feel quite scared calling. I'm not sure what causes this anxiety, and I've tried to find out what has caused this and I've come to no answer. I don't feel comfortable venting to my grandmother, for whatever reason just don't want to. Recently, my mother's been alone when I visit her, so I could potentially talk to her about it, but I feel that venting to my therapist is so much better since she's not in my family. I feel the need for love even though I'm only a young teenager. No matter what I do, unless I do super busy stuff, I can never stop thinking about her. I've talked to myself, driving myself crazy, about how I could call her again. I hope that venting over pastebin could potentially end my suffering and let me move onto my summer and be happy. School's almost over so I feel that I'll talk to her and let our friendship carry onto my next grade, to ensure that my chance for dating her is still viable. But I guess that I'll live life day by day until school starts.