this is my 3rd attempt at getting this bullshit health coverage. NO DOCTORS ACCEPT THIS GARBAGE IN THIS AREA! i feel like i am fucking DYING. my brain burns, i defecate blood, i vomit constantly, i rarely sleep, i am extremely depressed, i can't eat properly due to stomach pains and diarrhea, my vision goes in and out, i have constant headaches, i vomit stomach acid all the time, i black out from pain on occasion, other times it feels like i am hallucinating i think its some sort of "defense" mechanism my body has come up with to deal with being in constant agony. i am going to kill myself on my next birthday if someone doesnt' fucking do anything. this has been going on for 3 years now and i am no closer to getting any treatment now as when i started. i used to make good money now i am flat broke and having to sell what little i do own just to make rent each month. this is a fate worse than death and i can't even get a doctor to take me seriously. my "family" doctor just keeps referring me to mental health telling me that i must be crazy. the therapist i went to kept insisting i was some sort of drug addict and all my problems were caused by my "addiction" (I DO NOT EVEN FUCKING DRINK!!!!!) my teeth are rotting out now from all the stomach acid creeping up my  throat. i need medical care IMMEDIATELY. i goto the ER at least once every other month but they are abunch of ineffectual, judgemental ASSHOLES that at one time tricked me into admitting myself into their mental ward saying if i signed myself in they'd give me "medical treatment". this "treatment" consisted of some high school age girl giving me a physical. what in the fuck was that going to solve? i am at my wit's end. my entire family thinks i am some piece of shit lazy bum because they are all cold and insensitive pricks that only care about themselves and money. i have enough money to pay my rent until january. at which point i am going to commit suicide because noone will do a god damn thing for me. i am sick of being treated like some psycho hypochondriac. there is something majorly wrong with me and noone will do a fucking thing. if someone doesn't do something before i kill myself i am going to make sure i take out every person that has stood in my way these last few years. this includes every asshole doctor and therapist who treated me like i was some insane scumbag that doesn't deserve the benefits of proper medical care. this isn't a threat. it is a promise... as much as i'd like to do that i couldn't do that to someone's family. however, i am going to kill myself if someone doesn't do something to help me SOON. i asked a doctor to put me on pain medicine awhile back and he gives me anti-depressants so i goto another doctor and ask and he does the same. however, this time he also labels me as having "drug-seeking behavior patterns". no fucking shit i am looking for drugs. anything to make me feel better would be a godsend. if it wasn't for the fact that alcohol makes me vomit violently for hours if i even drink a beer id be a raging alcoholic like everyone else in this shitstain county. i fucking hate this place. if i had just stayed in florida instead of moving back to warren county id probably be fine. instead im stuck in this redneck republican racist hell full of judgmental christian bible freaks and i can't get the medical care i need. what is the fucking point of being alive if you spend everyday in a dark room vomiting?

the last time i got this coverage i was told i needed to see a doctor to finalize everything. however, i CANNOT find a doctor that is willing to see me that will accept this mediocre insurance. they tell me to goto pittsburgh or erie to get treated... HOW CAN I DO THAT WHEN I HAVE NO CAR? I have no friends because i never leave the house and my family couldn't care less about me. i am totally alone in this matter and i have no outlet to turn to for assistance. i need immediate help. i dont even have money to buy food right now - not that i eat much due to the constant diarrhea, spinal pain, and rectal pain. i wish i could curse every last person on this planet with what i have then maybe i could get adequate treatment, at the very least it'd bring me some smug satisfaction knowing the rest of the world's lives are falling apart because noone is willing to assist them. i just don't know what else i can do to feel better other than just ending my life. i already have the method chosen and the materials needed to enact this method. if nothing is done by my birthday, i'll be dead at 29.

thank  you for your time,