Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2011 20:06:58 -0700
From: theultimatereaper@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Word, words...
To: dragonboots2030@hotmail.com

Ha ha ha *Claps* Indeed indeed, you remind me of an older me.

Indeed sacrificing humanity does have its advantages, but it also has its disadvantages. That is what I meant by seeing things from all points of view at once. Do you know what it means to think without humanity, and to think with humanity? Further more that concept of seeing happiness, is fickle as humans are. Some people do seek pain simply because it is pain, and this has nothing to do with masochism, or the search for more pleasure. When you know human beings as I do, that much is obvious. Humans are vastly interesting.

Before saying my what my cursed sight is or is not. Have you ever considered the possibility that it isn't that I don't have perspective, but that you can't perceive what I perceive? And yes, the human species is pathetic in many rights, but we've got something special. Its a very bright light, and it is the future and that makes human beings worth anything. Its our dreams. Or rather should I say the collective dream of humanity. Collectively we strive for more, and deep to the core we just want things to be right. I've seen this, I understood it after I finally understood other people. If you give up the dream, you become a shell of the present, there is no future, and no point in maintaining what should be more for comfort.

Ha ha. No reason really. With your "lack" of humanity I doubt you will understand. But even I know its impossible to fully suppress a human heart, for without our heart we are nothing but empty shells. To my core lies, my own stupidity, I truly care, too much. I love everyone, I worry about everyone, perhaps it is just the empathy in me. But at the start of this journey of mine, I just wanted to help people. The world is crying. The world is dieing. And no one has stepped up to truly save it. I do what I do not because of some want to be a chosen blah blab blah to do whatever here on Earth, in fact I hate being me, but the point is, this is just who I am. I can't imagine not having in my heart and soul the immense desire to make this world what it should be, to create a land of light and happiness, and truth, and justice. You don't know the corruption? How about the corruption that forces humans to throw away their hearts and humanity just to be able to survive!? The food industry, the corporation, hell the medical industry, and the oh so frustrating governments of our world. Corruption is everywhere. Basically its like this our world has problems, all problems have sources and solutions. The problem is that no one has solved many of them... yet. At any rate, humans are running out of time. I seriously wonder if another person "like me" will be born soon enough to save humanity  before it goes over the edge.

I empathize with your thoughts on creatures and the environment, I pretty much agree.

Anyways, I never said I was happy, how could I be? I"m fighting everyday, alone, fighting against impossibility, and the struggle. I'm trying to bridge dreams and reality after all. Also, true happiness is pretty much ecstasy bouncing around everyday. As I mentioned before. Settling for comfort is nothing but a fear of progress. You will be stuck in a never ending present, which by the way, is what humanity has been doing all of these years with the illusion of "progress". I strive for the future, if you know what I mean.

Anyhow to wrap this up. Of course its rare you are labeled short sighted. Your vision isn't exactly bad, but you've just never encountered a character as interesting as me. My only power in this life is my sight, I don't mind if you don't believe me, either I'm right or I'm wrong. It matters little to you at any rate. Also I can only assume you are compelled to write to me because you are attracted to my unique nature, if there were rare people I'd be the rare of the rare. I say such things in utmost innocence, don't mistake anything I say for arrogance. I have a bit of an air head nature in such respects ^_^

Anyways, sometimes what I say is just a test, at other times I'm being genuine. But 100% percent of the time I"m being honest. At any rate, my advice would serve you well. You can only see so much when you see from the point of view of the universe. Like I said. First understand yourself, then others, then everything else. We are human, to deny our humanity is utter foolishness. To seek to be more than "human" that is where the future lies.

Anyhow, I feel satisfied with all that being written. I'm not so defensive so you mustn't worry, and I  know you aren't just amusing yourself right now. For if you were, you'd be cut with my subtle yet stirring words. So I can take this as genuine interest. I am flattered, but I truly hope you take my words into consideration. I don't like to see, anyone give up what they shouldn't have to.

-R
From: Ben Bowerman <dragonboots2030@hotmail.com>
To: theultimatereaper@yahoo.com
Sent: Wed, April 13, 2011 6:34:49 AM
Subject: RE: Word, words...

Humanity is something I am incapable of having; I know too much of the evils humans joyously participate in. Humans are self-destructive, selfish, closed-minded insects simply following whichever one of them who gives them orders. Indeed, I praise those who have lost their humanity, for they are among the kindest folk. Further more, one need think more closely upon what I said: "There is no man who seeks pain, who wishes to have it, simply because it is pain. Likewise, there is no man who avoids pleasure simply because it is pleasure."; this is further expanded as I, once again, paraphrase: "In a moment unfettered by reality, a man might pursue every possible pleasure and avoid every pain. But in his everyday life, a man must put it to these principles of selection: He accepts pain to avoid greater pain or to gain greater pleasure, or he denies pleasure to avoid worse pains or the pursuit of greater pleasure." Indeed, the entire concept of sin is based upon these principles (we should deny ourselves pleasures of this world to also deny ourselves the pain of hell, and ensure the pleasure of heaven. Likewise, should we accept the pleasures of this world we will be denied greater pleasure in heaven and be cast into hell to suffer for it.); I will confess I am ill equipped to speak further of Christian lore so I will abandon the comparison.

The phenomenon you mentioned of people seeking pain is what is known as masochism; and is indeed something I am intimately familiar with. But such a pursuit of pain is not because it is pain, but because pleasure is derived. To speak of a masochists natural pairing, the sadist, are they not virtually identical by their mechanism? A sadist turns another persons suffering into his own pleasure. In both cases, it is the act of inflicting pain or having pain inflicted upon them that they derive pleasure from - the acceptance of lesser pain in the pursuit of greater pleasure. Indeed these principles could apply to nature itself; for nearly every animal gorges itself when it can, and all will flee from a predator stalking it.

As for your advice, a lack of humanity (funny how much it helps) has granted me something I've come to realize you sorely lack: Perspective. Man is no better than any other beast that roams this earth. Perhaps worse, one might argue. Suppose some alien force were to classify the beasts of this world - It would see us as a barely-sentient alpha predators with a global reach behaving exactly the same as a colony of ants: Fighting for food and territory, obeying the words of single leaders, and generally being destructive to the enviroment. The self-importance man places in himself is faulty to the core; birds and great apes both use tools, ants have been both farmers and herders for aeons before humans were around (to be clear, some species of ants herd aphids for the nectar they excrete, and a species known as leaf-cutter ants uses their titular behavior to provide nourishment for a type of fungus they cultivate). Indeed, the only attributes that man is unique in is self-importance and walking upright. I hope this puts the matter into perspective.

Once again changing tracks, what is the corruption you fight? Why is it that you alone, among some trillions of past and future possible lives that have been and will yet be, feel you have won some cosmic lottery which entitles you to lead your pathetic species to salvation? And why do you believe me to be unhappy? True, I am not bouncing around ecstatic about every detail of my life, but I am content with my present standing. Indeed, I am lucky, for I am able to actualize myself through this conversation, I am free to walk outside and lavish my senses in the bright sun and the cool sea breeze. I am able to speak and think without fear of persecution. Indeed I must call to question your own happiness - Your choices of words, your flow of thought, and your insistence on being right all speak volumes against any claim you may make to being happy.

Some orphaned thoughts:
- Rare is it someone feels the need to label me short-sighted, for I tend to over-think on occasion, contemplating the consequences of actions taken now into the distant future.
- There is a piece called the "Bhagavad Gita", or "Song of [the] God[s]". I would suggest you read it and understand the context of becoming death.
- I'm still unsure of why I feel compelled to write to a complete stranger. Whatever the reason there is a reason, even if I can't know it.
- I am far less conflicted that you believed. The only conflicts in my life are those I create for my amusement.
- Finally, philosophy is never outdated, old or irrelevant. Indeed it can never be any of those things, for its purpose is to make you think, be it about the nature of reality of the nature of humanity.

I'm sure you will have no trouble dismissing these words. That is your freedom to do so, if it so pleases you.

- Kimiro

Ps. There is need to interpret what I say as hostile; I leave the basal pleasure of such to others.

Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2011 06:28:59 -0700
From: theultimatereaper@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Word, words...
To: dragonboots2030@hotmail.com

While I commend you for the semi intelligent, conversation, I must say I can't even consider most of it, simply because of one flaw. You are thinking of a human point of view so of course you would come to these sorts of conclusions. The logical path is even worse than the human one. *Shakes head* reality is reality, we can only understand it through our own design, connections, not evidence or logic or any of those ideas. Further more one must learn to see from all points of view. At any rate. Music in its literal form means nothing. Its only the message, the beauty that we give it, the message we are telling that makes it mean anything. Furthermore you are wrong again. Some do indeed find pain pleasurable, and vice versa. It is foolish to think otherwise. To be happy isn't the main aim for everyones existence. All of that is outdated philosophical and just plain short sighted. You aren't at odds with me, you are odds with yourself. You might has well have been typing to yourself, minus the thanks for the song. Anyways, if I have any advice as I see understanding is important to you. I suggest this. Understand yourself fully, understand others, and then and only then understand the universe/reality.

The things I say are simple and true. To live the best life we can, what else can we do? To move forward, would one rather die rot and waste away? I am no stranger to the infecting darkness, I take on more everyday, but it only tempers my heart, I must bare the darkness in order to carry the light, its the only way to survive in this world. The only way to play the roll that I need to. My chances of success at changing this world and succeeding aren't very high. Many have fallen before me, but if I can I will become death itself just to survive, I must be the one to survive and defeat the corruption. If I don't, I doubt anyone will. At any rate. Like I said, it isn't likely, but its possible.

Anyhow that was interesting. Remember what I said about understand, it will serve you well, you might regain your humanity, and better yet, find a way to be happy

-R
From: Ben Bowerman <dragonboots2030@hotmail.com>
To: theultimatereaper@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, April 12, 2011 5:55:06 PM
Subject: Word, words...

Pretty little words. I suppose in prose, every word is a rose. But every rose has thorns, every knife an edge. You seek to change the world? I would challenge you to even change one person. I am writing because your words are a foil to mine; at odds but not dissimilar in their roots. What I know of this world is this: It is a quagmire to a bottomless pit. We each struggle to stay at the surface, clawing and fighting each other to glimpse a distant oasis known as happiness. Every day each and every one of us sinks another inch, never fulfilling ourselves. I am unsure why your words evoked this response from me, but they have. I suppose it is simply the nature of words.

You write of fogs clouding ones vision. If there is ever a statement I cannot abide it is to call a man blind; all that ever exists will exist in your mind. It is not blindness but focus that prevents you from seeing the greater picture. You also write of a 'miracle' of life. Perhaps it shows my cynicism but I would counter that the only miracle of life is that mankind in it's headlong rush into the future hasn't annihilated itself. Finally, there is no such thing as a mystery - Mystery requires lack of evidence, and implicates a conspiracy (the disappearance of said missing evidence, that is). If you look hard enough you will find an answer for any question. The universe makes no attempt to obfuscate it's source code; not code to crack or riddle to solve - It is all there to piece together if you look. I suppose one might call "not looking" blindness in the same way one might call killing a fly murder; equivalency but not equal by virtue of magnitude.

To break from that, perhaps a bit of insight into my perspective on the matter: It is the simple truth that, at the most basal level, man is driven by two things alone: The pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. For a man to be truly happy, he must have every pleasure he desires and no pain; to paraphrase a piece of text: "There is no man who seeks pain, who wishes to have it, simply because it is pain. Likewise, there is no man who avoids pleasure simply because it is pleasure." Expanding from that, the world is quite literally mind-bogglingly huge. It's scale is upsetting, perhaps even painfully so. So should man not turn a blind eye to the grandness that is the world in order to save himself the burden of comprehending it? Conversely, should he not actively pursue elements in his little view of the world, enjoying the pleasures derived from his small sphere of interaction? To truely live, one must be happy. To be happy one must be free of pain. Q.E.D. One must be 'blind' to be happy.

I won't say there is nothing to this world beyond what we can observe; that would be arrogant and foolish of me. But mankind is a curious species; we each dig our little tunnel into the amorphous blob of information, crisscrossing a lattice of connections as we eliminate our collective ignorance. One can assume, reasonably, that with ~7 billion individuals all working separately but simultaneously that we can uncover everything there is to know, given enough time. Is there a deity behind all creation? Are we descendants of an alien species? Is there a heaven or hell, or more to the human soul than science attributes to it? With time every one of these questions can be answered as we dig. But these matters fetter the human mind with too much conflict for most to truly look, out of fear of pain. We cannot see out of Plato's Cave for fear of being blind, so we sit blind but content in the dark.

To bring this train wreck of purple prose to it's final stop, I conclude with a personal take on the matter; one gained from experience: There is only as much to the world as you are willing to see (perhaps an echo of your own choice of words; hence why I would use the term 'foil'), but you cannot see beyond the tunnel you dig through life and ignorance. But perhaps there is a spark of something divine in everything. but we are each too fearful of the pain knowing would force us to bear. Our ignorant bliss is ultimately what saves us..


This said, I am not at odds with you personally, and would like to thank you for uploading the song "Melody from Heaven" (which is what ultimately lead me to your site). The song is probably the most evocative piece I've stumbled upon to date. I might go so far to say it is the fuel for the engine of my soul.. Perhaps it might be paradoxical at this point to speak of spiritual matters, having essentially denounced them as merely 'possible'. But be it an intangible essence or a biochemical response to stimulus, music is as close as we can come to having true magic. Music is the only thing man creates that is more powerful than just words; rhythm connects us all, but has equal potential to divide. Music is life. Even the blind can hear the music.

- Kimiro