Thread 97:Stories 46-60

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>SA
"Celestia"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...go onnnn.

"Oh, little old me? I'd never imply anything."

>Go oonnnnn.

"I'd certainly never make any humorous quips as to your former training fellow's current state of affection with your wife. Why, it would be cruel to make some sort of remark as to how it feels on that side."

>You know, the weird part? Not bugged at all.

"We are now at war. The Empire and Equestria are now at war over that pun, and it shall be paid for in flesh."

>Fair warning, Chrysalis is probably on my side.

"Pfft, as if that worries me at all-"

>And Twilight would almost certainly join me as well, if only because she finds my puns funny.

"...Blast! Twilight? I'm doomed! Oh, what a cruel choice I have made, to doom my little ponies to death at thee! There is only one solution, I must give myself away as a peace offering to you. I shall be yours, Shining Armor!"

>Uhhh huhhh...

"And though it will be a trial, without me over there, I'm sure they will somehow manage. But I shall be too stricken to see my country in such a state, and I fear my blood sugar will simply drop! So if you could kindly square me away in a soundproof room filled with nothing but pillows and cake, I will get to my duty!"

>The duty of being mine.

"...Oh, right, that. Fine, occasionally you can come inside the room too, but no eating any of my cake!"

>As always, a shrewd businessmare.

"If it makes you feel any better, at any rate my poor bottom would simply balloon."

>Oh, I see now, slip in and gorge yourself on cakes until your ass becomes so huge the gravity collapses the entire country. An inside job, is it?

"BLAST! He's seen through my clever hidden weapon disguised as me wanting a vacation of nothing but pillows and cake! BLAST!"

>Heh.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I might've considered a hoofie. Try to use that plot, though, and even Forty Two is going to be more of a stallion than you."

>Meh, I've been training to withstand your fire since day one.

"Is that a challenge? Because I seem to recall a certain 'exception' status."

>If it's all the same to you, I'll stick to having sex to whomever I am currently married to.

"Note taken, we shall be wed on the morrow!"

>You just want the wedding cake.

"I am troublingly transparent..."

>Ohhh, I missed this.

"Mmm, well, if you ever wish to abandon the life and flee to return in service as captain of the guard, I'll give you plastic surgery options."

>Wouldn't Pommel be irritated?

"At this point, I'm sure he'd huck the job at you if given the chance."

>He's only been there a month.

"He's been keen to point that one out as well."

>Aww, you're not driving him up too far with your jokes, are you? He has a marefriend, last I checked.

"Hmm? Oh, no, not at all, I don't just give out something like this to everyone, oh no... you're quite unique, Shiny, all my other captains were strictly professional."

>Really?

"Mmmhm... Just never felt it with any of them, and I doubt I'd enjoy it as much as you."

>Awww... don't think I'd say this stuff to the other princesses either, and that includes Cadence. You're special.

"Mmmhmm. I know."

>Your modesty is as brilliant as your mane.

"...did you just call my mane flat?'

>Did you just acknowledge you had no modesty?

"Ahhh, touche. This is why you won the war, Shining."

>Never even had to lift a hoof.

"No, that comes later, when Cadence has a headache again-OOF! No pillows!... Oh! I get it. I see, well, I suppose I can give anything a try just once, but only because it's you."

>Ah hah... be the only time I ever got that.

"Well, I'm sure Cadence would appreciate it if for once a stallion who liked you was in the bed, and the who knows what happens when he sees that damn fine ass-"

>NOPE! NOPENOPENOPE!

"Oh, so serious... so, is this going to change anything? The Forty Two thing."

>I'd say no.

"Even if she wanted to join this little... thing with you and Eighteen?"

>...

"As I thought."

>She said she doesn't want that.

"Indeed, and I'd never imply she did, she seems content. I merely wondered.

>Uh... let's work on the... Eighteen thing first, I'm still trying to get my head around this as it is.

"Mmm, well, first one is always the hardest. Once you get that one figured out, who knows?"

>Please don't overload my brain anymore, I'm still dealing with the fact my charge has gotten so much stronger for Chrysalis...

"...Ohhh?"

>She told me in her dream after the Variolus thing, I don't know how to take it.

"..."

>PLEASE don't compound this any further.

"For your sake, I shall not, and will drop the subject."

>Thank you.

"But, fair warning..."

>Oh lord no.

"When Forty Two kissed Cadence in the game, she had a rather odd expression..."

>Nooooo....

"Just something to think about."

>I can't think anymore, my thinking thunker is thought.

"Thinking too much, truly royal pony problems."

>Says the mare who wanted a life of decadence and cake just because ruling a country is hard.

"I also wanted pillows, do not forget the pillows. Those are important."

>Obviously...

"..."

>...Hey, Celly?

"Hm?"

>I'm glad I've got you to talk about this stuff with. Think if I didn't, I'd go crazy.

"Well, you certainly return the favor enough it would be rude not to."

>Still, doubt anyone else would put up with me for this long.

"Mhmm... well, like I said, you're special. I'd probably tell Pommel to go to a psychiatrist, if it makes you feel any better."

>You know? It does... thanks.

"Anytime, bubblehorse."

>... So do you think my staff thinks it's weird me and you are in the hot tub together?

"Nahhhh... now us leaning against each other like this, that probably gets some stares."

>Do you want to stop?

"Of course not."

>Just checking.

"Do you?"

>Not a chance.

"Just checking..."

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 >AB
"SB"
'SL'
[??]
{??}
~~~~

It was so cold inside of the mass of snow.

And yet, they could not be more fired up.

>Gals! It ain't lookin' good out there. We done been pummeled, we done been hammered, and we done been knocked down drug out and made ta' scream fer' mercy!... Some of us louder than others.

"Mom always said I was probably going to be a screamer!"

'Whatever that means. '

>But we ain't done, not by a longshot! No ma'am! We just gotta do what Applejack, said, dig in our heels and show 'em we mean business! Cause there's always gonna be ponies with more money, who got more power than us, and who's got better stuff than us, but ya' know what they ain't got?

"Cutie marks?"

'...'

"Wait."

>No! What they ain't got is this! This burnin' fire inside o' us! This fire that's gonna turn this whole dang thing on it's head! This is who we are! We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders! And we're gonna win! Cause we don't need money, or power, or fancy toys! WE GOT GUTS!

"'YEAH!'"

>ARE YA' WITH ME!?

"'YEAH!"'

>THEN LET'S-

[A. Hem.]

Slowly, three heads popped up from behind their snow fort.

Vrr... VRRRRRRRRR

'...That is a very big sled.'

[Yeeeeah.]

>And Ah'm noticin' rockets.

{There are those.}

"...uh..."

[You blankflanks want to surrender the fort yet?]

>NEVER! WE GOT GUTS!

[Really? Let see how much.]

>C'mon girls, real earth pony moxie can overcome anyth-

~~~~~

"I can't feel my teeth."

'Earth pony moxie does not beat expesive rocket sled... this is a learning experience.

>APPLEJACK YOU LIAR!

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>SA
"Cadence"
~~~

>Do do doooo, paperwork... paapperwork... paper work... paper... work... heh, why's it called Paper work, when the paper just lays there? Ehhhh?... Thank Faust nobody was around to hear that-

Open!

>I WASN'T MAKING BAD JOKES- wait, that was open, not slam... hi honey!

"Hi sweetie! Listen, I need you to fill out this form?"

>Ahhh, need to put in the request for a night of hot loving with your Shiny. Damn you bureaucracy! You shall not keep us apart!

"What? No, it's for both of us to sign off on the new kitchen remodeling job."

>Of course. And thus, the rumors of us wrecking the kitchen in the throes of passion spread far and wide!

"What? No, they know I set it on fire... again."

>Don't blame yourself, you're always lighting fires with me.

"...when?"

>Alright, how much is this going to cost us- WHOA!... Okay, so, we're going to have to cut back on the lubricants and sexy silk stockings.

"We were buying those? It sounds like we shouldn't have been spending money on them in the first place! Why were we? What for?"

>...You know, fine question, what CAN one do with sexy silk stockings and lubricants...hmmm?

"...uhh... I guess you could pour the lube on the stockings, but wouldn't it ruin them? Seems like a waste."

>...I'll get it done, honey.

"Thaaaanks! That's my Shiny!"

Kisses!

>Oh, but before you go...

"Yeah?"

>See, I've got this problem with my desk. It makes a noise when you rock it back and forth.

"Really?"

>Yep. When you rock it back... and forth.

"...'

>...Back... and forth.

"..."

>Especially when it happens rapidly, and there's weight on top of it.

"..."

>...back... and forth...

"..."

>...back... and...

"... I don't hear it! I guess it got fixed?"

>....

"Bye Shiny!"

Doorshut!

>...goddamnIwouldsofuckupthatpinkassyoudon'tevenfuckingknowwouldn'twalkstraightforagoddamnlimpbelimpinglikethehunchbackof-

Creak!

"Did you say something?"

>Said love you!

"Oh! Love you too! MWAH!"

Shut!

>...damn it...

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 >Lavan
"Angel Bunny"

"..."

>...I apologize.

"..."

>I really do.

"..."

The Everfree Forest was ablaze, its entirety a searing inferno that...didn't seem to really bother the animals or monsters within.

"..."

>Really, I don't know how my magic made you see everything on fire. I'm trying to...hmm...

"..."

>...uhm...it appears that your default way of seeing everyone is walking around with 'Property of Angel T. Bunny' where their rump marks would be.

"...?"

>...you disturb me, small bunny.

"...!"

>Okay! There we go! I have fixed everything, everything is back to normal and I am getting away from you!

"...~"

>THIS DOES NOT PLEASE ME!

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>Sunset
"Twilight"
~~~

>...You're giving me a look.

"..."

>I do not like this look. This is not happy look. I wanted happy look, and you're not giving me happy look, and I really, really need happy look right now.

"..."

>Where is happy look.

"...okay! So, news."

>I'm noticing you did not put a good in front of that.

"News issss... well, you're currently being sustained by the rock."

>This is not news.

"No, what is news is that, it's pretty much tied in to all of your systems. See, when you make an entire preservation of a body dependent on a thing, it runs all of the things."

>Uh huh...

"So if we were to say, take out the thing, and then the thing is gone, then literally everything will abruptly stop, like a lightswitch. Just... poof! Gone!"

>Uh... huh...

"So if literally every body part just kinda stops... well... then putting in a new heart isn't going to do much, because your body has literally become dead, and there's no way to keep it pumping in your veins."

>...sooo-

"So we need to figure out a way for you to be sustained on something besides love first, THEN put in the new heart. Because the new heart? That's the easy part, ponies die all the time and we have donors. I'm a damn princess, GETTING the heart is the easy part, it's just... your body is now literally being sustained in the same way a changeling does. Your heart has been replaced with a powersource identical in magical nature to how a changeling works."

>Which means...

"Which means that, so long as you have a charge, you're normal. But do you know what happens when no charge?"

>...

"You literally wither away. Shiny has seen it happen twice, if you lose your love you literally shrivel up like you don't even have blood in your veins. If we take this out of you, you're a mummified corpse."

>...

"But on the positive side, your body is now being sustained and powered by love, so... you know, it's not like you're an unthinking, unfeeling nothing! And I guess if you really wanted to, you could learn Changeling techniques and powers... again, I mean, we had to remove those first ones... because of evil changeling Queen."

>...I don't like this. My body feels... wrong.

"That's because it is. It is that, it is all of that, it is very wrong. This is not supposed to be like this. Your biology was not designed for something like this. There's a reason that changelings have chitin for skin, yet can still feel things. You are not designed to process properly the type of magic they do. It's working! It's totally working, at least for now. You've got a body, and you can move, and speak, and talk, and think and even use magic. You've got the basics."

>But I can't feel any pain.

"Again, the magic in you is designed to work on CHITIN, not skin, it has no idea how the hell it can deal with this. It's the wrong everything, thickness, texture, and of course pony skin isn't designed to be porous to love. They have to be able to absorb it through their skin, ponies don't, your skin isn't made to process this. Of course you can't feel any pain, it doesn't know what the hell your nerves are!"

>So...

"So I could probably reprogram that to make you feel touch, or I could get to work on getting you back to normal."

>Latter, please?

"I thought so... but you know-"

>No.

"I just though we should maybe reopen the discussion about-"

>NO!

"It would at least be running smoothly again-"

>I AM NOT LETTING YOU DNA SHIFT ME INTO A CHANGELING!

"Alright! Alright, just an option."

>...can't you just dna shift me into a full pony?

"You're that now, you just have a giant, non-biological thing in your chest. You ARE a pony, you just run off a rock battery. Can't DNA shift a rock."

>Right... right...

"Hang in there, we'll figure this out.... somehow."

>...sure we will...

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 >Dash
"FS"
~~~

"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

>Fluttershy! Stop it!

"I WON'T! I WON'T DO IT AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

>Seriously, Fluttershy! Come on!

"I'LL BURN IT ALL TO THE GROUND! EVERYTHING TO MAKE YOU STOP! I'LL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOUSES! A POX ON YOU IF THAT'S OKAY AND NOT TOO INCONVENIENT!"

>FLUTTERSHY! Don't say stuff like that... you might actually be able to do it...

"I'M SORRY FOR THAT BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ONCE MORE PRESS THAT I WON'T DO IT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME AND EVERYTHING ELSE I JUST SAID!"

>Fluttershy!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

>Oh for the love of... we just need to see if the rumors of there being a dragon is even THERE, we're not going to fight it!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

>Why are you even afraid of it!? You could turn every dragon on the planet into a PUDDLE if you wanted! Just... poof! Puddledragon!

"They're scarrryyyy!"

>...freakinggavechaospowerstothewrongdamnpegasiIcouldfuckingwreckshitwouldn'teveknow....

"Noooooo!"


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>Chrysalis
"42"
~~~

>Leeeet's see here... no... no... no...

"Majesty? What are you doing. The... ahem 'class', is filled up, I have no more room."

>Noooo... no no no...

"This is starting to worry me. Why are you going down a list of our changelings?"

>No... nooope... Chitania's still alive so I don't think that will work...

"Limit reached! What the fuck?"

>Nothing, Forty Two.

"This isn't nothing, how can you pretend this is nothing!? This is something!"

>It's not something.

"This is something!"

>...

"...why are you looking at me like that?"

>...

"Majesty I'm serious, you are looking at me really really weird, and I do not like it."

>...ehhhh...

"Please stop."

>But she's so useful...

"This is a bad touch. I don't care if we are not making contact this is a bad touch."

>...maybe.

"That is not better!"

>...definitely maybe.

"Majesty? MAJESTY!? Don't walk away! What was that!?... CHRYSALIS!?... uh...... I'm afraid, and I do not know why...... shiny help..."

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>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
'Celestia'
~~~~

>...Well?

Every single letter rolled off an icy tongue, savored in her mouth like a sickeningly sweet bit of candy. She made no attempt to disguise the excitement in her voice, the tenor of sounds echoing gleefully in the well sealed off room. She made no attempt, for why would she? There was no containing her glee at the mere thought of what that item held for her. There was no containing it, and she would be damned if she even tried.

And it was annoying the mare running some strange device over it something fierce.

"Well, what? I'm just doing preliminary scans to test how powerful the mind connection is. If we can find a way to buffer that..."

>Then we can have control over this, and use it as we see fit.

A hoof, every bit as tall as the Queen, flicked her behind the ears.

'Yes, Chrysalis, however we see fit. We. All of us.'

>Oh, of course, I'll let you all see what's inside too... after I've gotten what I want. You may see it to your heart's content...

Both, in tandem, rolled their eyes as the Queen once more began circling it, hunger quite visible in her eyes.

"You know, if I didn't know you were just doing this to mess with us, I'd be worried. You do realize if Applejack walked in right now, she'd chuck an oak stake at this, right?"

>And that's why she's not here, no... it's just you, and me, and Celestia, and this wonderful, wonderful little thing.

'Fair warning? If it wasn't your seals holding it in place, I'd consider asking Shiny to let me take it to Canterlot. He'd do it, don't doubt it, an ass shake and a wibble later and he'd do it.'

>Nooo, he wouldn't. He knows that it is by far safest here... with me.

Fangs glowed an eerie green as she came ever closer to the orb. Not enough to touch, of course, never enough to touch.

But close enough.

"Just hoping someone is going to come in and see, aren't you? Just want a reaction? Nope. Not giving it to you."

Dark, low chuckles escaped her throat, in tandem with almost hypnotic swishes of her hair.

>That's quite alright... I have everything I need right here.

'She's going to keep doing it?'

"I don't think we can stop her."

That low chuckle went up ever so slightly, growing into a higher pitched mirth.

>No need to be jealous that my afterlife is real, and yours is... say... up in the air?

'Parents. My PARENTS.'

>Might not actually be all that special, in hindsight, no? After all, you're certainly not all powerful, you most certainly can be defeated, and so very few examples here in reality of their influence, yet an escapee from this was able to bring such a spectacle to our world.

'Which proves that your hivemind is not all knowing.'

>No, it proves my Hivemind is quite all knowing, and they knew what it would take to get their secrets into the hooves of the greatest Queen who ever lived... and they did it.

Again, another longer, more melodramatic rolling of the eyes.

>No need to be worried, I've no need to turn on any of you. I'll be generous and ask that you be considered for the Hivemind, instead of oblivion, should you fall.

'Wow, thanks.'

"...Wait, should we be saying thanks? She just essentially said she'll make sure we get to go to an afterlife, instead of what she thinks will happen, which is ceasing to be."

'But it's not nothing!'

"She doesn't think that."

'...Okay, the base SENTIMENT might not be insulting or malevolent, but the delivery makes it seem so and still be offensive and make me want to punch her.'

"I do believe you've summed up Chrysalis as she is now."

>Soon... soon...

"Not gonna steer us away from this."

'We're debating your mental state.'

>Oh, by all means, go ahead... I'm already wondering what I'll do when I have the secret of Titan Magic.

They both stilled, just a little unsettled... But it passed when they saw the thoughtful look on her face.

'So, win a 'who's taller' contest with me definitively?'

>Perhaps...

"Or play basketball in the worlds most unfair game?"

>Mayybe.

'...Ah. Offer to give Two rides?'

>....

"That one."

'Yep, that one.'

>Think that all you want...

"Okay, we will."

'We'll do exactly that.'

>...think it if you want...

"..."

'...'

>...Screw you, you don't know, maybe it's making me crazy! World domination could be MINE! AHAHHAHAHA!

One final, grand time, they rolled their eyes.

>EAT A DICK!... No, wait, finish looking at the orb THEN eat a dick, orb info is important.

"A-hem, while we're on this topic... I was wondering if we should maybe bring in Sunset with this-"

>AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!

If her maddened cackle had been any louder, she would have brought the whole castle down.

"I'm serious!'

Yet, even the lustrously haired alabaster mare seemed to be joining in with the bout of incredulity.

'...Are you? Really? Sunset. Twilight, as her old mentor... even I have to double check and make sure this isn't a very mean joke.'

"She knows the most about the mind inside here!'

'Ahhh, no, no she doesn't. Chrysalis removed that.'

"She removed anything regarding techniques, when changeling magic was used or learned, she didn't have time to sift through and delete everything Variolus said or did. She'd still know about her."

>AAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHA!

'Offsetting cackling aside, she has a point. Chrysalis knows of her too, anything Sunset learned was merely while she was being manipulated. And while I hesitate to give our egotistical one anymore praise than she has now, I would like to remind you that she is, for all her faults, well aware of manipulation techniques Variolus would employ, and far better at it too.... I assume.'

>AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!

'Stop making me regret backing you.'

"Still, I feel like she should be involved in this, it came out of her head."

>AHAHAHAHAHA-A-a-are you serious!? You're SERIOUS!? Every single time that mare has come into contact with anything remotely regarding the mind inside of it or anything even tangentially related like her damn dreamstone, it's been one rolling dumpster fire of a calamity after the next! Every single time she even comes in contact with this, someone ends up unconscious at the bare minimum, and you want to give her direct access!? Are you hopped up on crazypills again!?

As heartening as it was to see her drop the act, the comments nonetheless stung just a bit.

"Well, maybe not direct access, but-"

>But nothing! That's utter lunacy!

"She's feeling really terrible, and we wouldn't even have it if it wasn't for her,-"

>And I wouldn't have lost a month of my life to block a shot that almost ended up with mass graves if it wasn't for her. Frankly, I don't give a damn about her, and if she feels shitty then guess what? Still don't give a damn!

There finally, was enough to get a real reaction from Twilight. All the taunting and the posturing had been nothing, but that?

That got results.

"So, what!? We should just leave her like she is!? Almost dead!? Hasn't she suffered enough!?"

>What? Twi-bright, you need to stop thinking in absolutes here, just because I don't care if she gets set on fire after everything she did doesn't mean I'd set her on fire. It is possible just to really, really hate someone but still not think they need to be punished further.

'...She has a point.'

"STILL!"

'She also has a point, Chrysalis, just because you didn't mean it like that doesn't mean we're not allowed to react when you talk like that. That's quite disrespectful and insulting.'

>Fine, react however you want... but still, no. My seals are on this thing, I made it, it's a damn changeling in there, it's full of changeling secrets, I get to decide who gets near it or not, and she is firmly in the 'not' category.

'But we aren't, right?'

>Fucking obviously.

"...You know, it IS in the-"

>Try to pull the Shiny card and I'll just take it off that pedestal and start carrying it around with me.

The lavender mare deflated, but there was nothing left to be said. She was deadly serious, and they all knew it.

>Thank you. Seriously, her? I trust you two, fine, but her? Come on.

The smallest princess shrugged and turned away, her attention back to the orb once more.

'...She's still taking it hard?'

"Of course she is. I just... I wish I could cheer her up somehow."

>Offer to take her rocketsledding or something, that cheers me up.

"I... don't think that'll work this time, Chrysalis."

>Never know until you try.

'...She doesn't hate you, you know-'

>Save it.

They flinched, recognizing right away that that voice was very much not an act, nor fake in any way.

>She wanted to figure out a weapon to stop us if the time came to it... only fitting she should be the one to give me this instead.

'...Chrysalis?'

>...

"My scans are done."

She snapped away from the odd, almost trancelike state she had been in, a subtle shake to her head as she did so.

>And?

"And I'll work on a proper magical sealant to make it a little more... controlled, we should be able to look at it shortly."

>Good. This should all be done soon enough.

Nothing more to be said, she waited for Twilight to exit the circle, and sealed it all away.

'...well! That was fun, but next time try a little harder with the act.'

>PLPLPLP!

'As always, a beacon of maturity.'

With a flip of her hair, she was the first to go off. But the former student, at first right on her heels, found herself stopped just before she could follow her old mentor, held in place by a massive, ebony hoof.

Curious, she looked up to the Queen once more, seeing right away there was something... different about her.

>Not. Her.

She opened her mouth to speak, only to be silenced by a harsh hoof to the lips.

>I trust you. I trust Celestia... I don't trust her. Alright? I've agreed you can see it... you've certainly seen enough... but not her. I'm saying this to you, as Queen of the changelings or your friend, whichever one you like better, not her. This might be my one last shot, Twilight, don't ruin it to make her feel better.

Before she could ask, before she could say a word to pressure for elaboration as to that last line, the Queen was moving, pulling Twilight from the room and sealing it away with magic once again, and going off before a single sound could be uttered, long legs carrying her away too quickly for Twilight to react.

>It's my last shot.

Before she could so much as whisper a word, Twilight was alone in the hallway, without a single answer to the many questions in her head.

The Queen had spoken, she had given her decree, she had given her word, to argue her would be disrespectful, Twilight was forced to admit, but it mattered so little in the face of that last, solemnly spoken line. It mattered so little, when that one had mattered so much.

Her friend had asked something of her, she would abide it.

But...

"...Your last shot for what?"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pennydrop
"Security Officer"
~?~
~~

>What do you mean, 'someone is asking questions?'

The massive, deeply scarred and heavily muscular stallion before her only gave off the weakest of shrugs, barely able to meet her burning gaze for more than a second.

"Dunno who, ma'am."

Her hooves stamped down on an overpriced desk, and the hardened face twitched just a bit.

>Well, last I checked it was your job to figure out 'who'. Though, admittedly, I haven't checked here recently, maybe I need a reevaluation as to your current job placement?

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but they aren't talking. I tried everything, but nobody would give up who's been asking or what they want. Who's ever asking these questions, everyone they're after is more afraid of them than you... by a lot. It doesn't seem like anyone said anything yet... but that might change if they keep pushing."

Idly, his hooves began to scrape against the floor, brushing off something that wasn't there any longer.

>...That's very troubling indeed... well, then, I suppose you'll have to be on the lookout for anyone who talks, won't you? Make an... example of them?

"...y-yes ma'am."

>Good, I would hate to have to make an example of you instead. Because I will.

"I know, ma'am, I'd never talk, and I'd tell you if I found anything."

>You would, really?

"Yes."

>...very well. Dismissed.

He gave only a curt nod before he headed out, moving just a little too quickly for her liking.

>...Damn.

To say she was ready to pull her hair out just did not cut it.

>What a fucking month... who the fuck is after me now?

~~~~~

Far, far, far away, a single mare ran for her life.

The shadows were hunting her, they were coming for her.

Yet when they were upon her, there was no way she could do anything but scream.

~Your princess has questions she would like answered.~

Quietly, she was picked up. Leaving behind no trace...

No trace, save the tiny little nametag with her picture, and "Fawntaine Industries" plastered across the top.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Pinkie
"???"
~~~~

>Do do doooo, dooobly dooo, doing what I do with the doob doob dooooo!..... huh, normally I get interrupted when I'm just-

SLAM!

>There it is!

"I... I don't get it."

>...twi?

"I don't get it..."

>Twilight, you okay?

"I've looked at it from every angle, I've researched it in countless different ways, I've looked high, I've looked low, I've looked to and fro, I've sought monks for guidance, I've divined the stars themselves, but... but I cannot...."

>Uhhh-

"I cannot."

>Twi, you're scaring me.

"I CANNOT! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I CANNOT COMPREHEND IT! Tell me... tell me Pinkie so my head may stop burning! Tell me Pinkie so I can sleep again a night without pain! Tell me please I beg of you! To any kinship we've had, tell me, TELLL MEEEEEE!"

>TELL YOU WHAT!?

"...what... what do you get, when you mix a unicycle and corn..."

>...what, that joke I started to tell?

"And then you ran off, and you didn't finish, and it's been killing me Pinkie! IT'S BEEN KILLING ME! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU AND YOUR IMPOSSIBLE, BEFUDDLING RIDDLES! DAMN YOU!"

>...Twi?

"..."

>A Unicycle, and corn.

"...."

>...A UNIcycle... and CORN..

"..."

>...A UNI... cycle... and CORN....

"...ahahah..."

>Get it?

"Ahahah... ahahahahaha....ahahahahahahahahh!"

>Yeah, it is pretty funny-

"AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA!"

>Uh... I have regrets-

"AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAH!"

>...better get out the body glitter and lipgloss...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
‘SA’
“77”
{Cele}

In the back room of a small café several individuals gather around a table. Princesses Celestia and Twilight, Prince Shining Armor, Fluttershy, the Changeling 77, and Pinkamena Diane Pie sat in council.

>Thank you all for meeting with me.

“Thank you for having this meeting here. My bride to be has been loath to let me wander too far of late. …Incidentally I only have about 20 minutes before she wakes back up, can we keep this brief?”

>Of course. I’ve gotten you all together today to discuss a problem we have with our mutual friends.

‘Mutual friends?’

>Spike and Chrysalis.

{They have a problem?}

>…Seriously?

{I haven’t observed anything out of the ordinary.}

>Well I have. Spike hates her. Like, hates-hates. I keep trying to talk to him about it but he won’t hear it. I haven’t heard it as much from her but…I get the feeling it’s a mutual problem.

“My queen does seem to bear him an unusual amount of disdain.”

>There you go. Frankly, I want it to stop.

‘It would be really nice to have all the people I care about not at each other’s throats again, seems like it’s been forever.’

“And it would be nice if one of my best friends didn’t immediately start shooting at my queen anytime things went wrong. Might I ask though, why now? It seems you noticed this issue a while ago.”

>Well…weddings are supposed to be times of happiness, renewing old friendships, and hope for the future right? I figured this might give us an opportunity.

{Am I to take it then, that you don’t have a plan in mind?}

>Not…not yet. They aren’t going to do anything willingly, so we need to set them a task of some kind which requires cooperation. We also need to refuse to help them when they ask and run interference against anyone else who might be inclined to. Anybody have any ideas?

77 began to run his hoof over his eyepatch.

“Perhaps princess…perhaps…”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Spike
"Chrysalis"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

>...the fuck is going on with me?

"It looks like you fell out of a bad RPG."

>Right? Fireswords, frost swords, shit like that... but at least I'm stronger?

"HAH!"

>Oh, you're one to talk, miss "I pull powers out of my ass all the time."

"Hey! I do not! Those are properly set up and explained LONG before they come into play, thank you! I don't need powers to be interesting."

>Neither do I! It's just... you know, cool to have! What's wrong with having cool gear?

"...well, I guess nothing?"

>..Still, we do have weird powersets.

"Right? But hey! More interesting!"

'You can be interesting with just one power.'

>Oh yeah? Says... oh.

"...Hi aunt Chitty."

'I literally just grow big. That's it, that's my thing.'

>...huh...

[I make bubbles!]

"Shut up Shiny!"

>...huh... so clearly, I need to grow big!

'Wait what!? Don't steal my thing!'

>STEALING IT!

'YOU ASSHOLE! That went SO BAD for me last time!'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>7
"Buttecup"
~~~

"...so.. me notice she first one who talk to you."

>...

"And nobody else seem to care."

>...

"And nobody seem worried you being followed by giant gryphon headed tarp."

>...

"...You am not having many friends, do you?"

>A BLUBLUBLUBLUUUUUUU!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Jetset'
~~~~

Zip!

'I'm your friend, Seven.'

>R-really?

'No.'

ZIP!

>....

"...You am want dunk in water? Help with the burn."

>ABLUUUUU!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Gwen
"10"
~~~

>HOLY SHIT! I'm still a character!... And I've got art!

"Awesome, ain't it?"

>Yeah!

"Can't wait for my turn next!

>...

"...m-my turn is next, right?

>...

"Right?'

>WOOOO!

"R-right?"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________