jake - Today at 6:41 PM
i can’t do this man i can’t talk to them about this shit it’s too much i want them to know what I’ve been through and I know Amber has her stories about how people have abandoned her in the past because of how she told people about her feelings but man I will sound like I’m fucking insane
it’s just too much
i can’t do this
ive been sitting here thinking all day and my mind is just fucking racing and I feel like I’m going to die
im sorry
tib - Today at 6:44 PM
dude dont be sorry
its okay
why do you think you'll sound insane?
have we talked about the topic you want to bring up?
jake - Today at 6:44 PM
because the past 5 years of my life have been fucking torture man
im useless
tib - Today at 6:45 PM
youre not useless
jake - Today at 6:46 PM
i am dude I almost failed high school because I let anxiety fuck my life up from sophomore year to senior year
i graduated in engineering and I can’t remember the first thing about it
i had something going for me and it’s gone
i work in fucking coffee
I’m so fucking dumb I filled out the wrong god damn fafsa when applying for college so i can’t even start until the fall
i got rid of this shit man
this fucking anxiety
and it’s coming back
i had to wonk my brain out on those fucking meds and it doesn’t even matter in the end(edited)
tib - Today at 6:48 PM
im so sorry you have to deal with this shit dude
i mean, i can relate. our stories are different but the whole thing about letting anxiety fuck my life up, i feel that dude
it does matter
you can work on this
maybe you shoudl do therapy dude
jake - Today at 6:49 PM
do you think I didn’t?
i tried man
for months back then
it just didn’t work for me
tib - Today at 6:50 PM
it isnt for everyone
fuck
you can move forward
the source of your anxiety rn
is it amber?
jake - Today at 6:50 PM
no
tib - Today at 6:50 PM
or is it like
everything
jake - Today at 6:50 PM
i thought it was but she’s not
tib - Today at 6:51 PM
you can tell me whatever it is
jake - Today at 6:51 PM
i thought I could rely on them but I can’t
it’s too late
they have each other
they tell each other everything
i think I just need to like fucking disappear for a while idk man
you’ve seen yourself the extent of the kind of messages I send to her
there’s no substance in them
i try to ask her how her day goes but I feel like she shuts me out
she literally told me and you can find it back in the convos I sent you that I don’t have to always respond to someone’s messages
but man
i can’t not I need people to talk to
she cried when I disappeared that one night but why?
she barely knows me and she doesn’t try to
she tried to tell me she wasn’t going anywhere but when I’m the one that initiates conversation and she doesn’t send me a message for half the day when I don’t respond I start to doubt that
i feel like a third wheel in a way
she doesn’t need to talk to me about her emotions when she has Christian and when they listen to me they listen for the sake of making me feel better not because they want to build trust and their relationship with me
tib - Today at 6:59 PM
sorry for not responding, im here, i just didnt want to reply until you  let everything out
jake - Today at 7:01 PM
you can reply if you want it’s alright
tib - Today at 7:04 PM
i think a break might be good for you..good to clear your mind with,
im here for you
you can always come to me for this shit dude
i know it might not be the same
but i know its good to let it out in general
jake - Today at 7:04 PM
and I was about to let myself out to them man
i was about to expose my deepest shit just for them to feel sympathy towards me
tib - Today at 7:05 PM
i know man..
jake - Today at 7:05 PM
i left the group for now
im not going to respond to them but you can tell them what’s going on if you want to
hell you can even send them this conversation
i just can’t talk to them right now I feel so empty
tib - Today at 7:08 PM
ill let them know
i understand
jake - Today at 7:08 PM
you think we can like private call in a bit
with Sam too if you want
tib - Today at 7:09 PM
yeah we can do that
jake - Today at 7:09 PM
just anyone it doesn’t matter
tib - Today at 7:09 PM
do you wanna do anything when we call or nah
jake - Today at 7:12 PM
if you want it doesn’t matter
ow maybe
im home now so whenever you want just call me
i just hope this doesn’t hurt my friendship with them
if they choose to let it i don’t mind