salnrog

Frat Ferrets

rating: 0+x

800px-Southdakota2008_860.jpg

SCP-1762-445 spying on SCP-1762-506



Item #: SCP-2762



Object Class: Euclid



Special Containment Procedures: Site-127 has been established to observe SCP-2762. No unidentified vehicles or persons are to be allowed entry past Site-127's fenceline. Researchers are not to accept any materials or foodstuffs offered to them by any members of SCP-2762. Personnel suspecting a colleague of fraternizing with males of SCP-2762 are to report the colleague to Site Director Fredericks immediately.



Description: SCP-2762 is a population of Mustela nigripes, the black-footed ferret, inhabiting Southern Utah. All members of SCP-2762 are designated SCP-2762-1 through - 89. While displaying identical physiology to other black-footed ferrets, all male members of SCP-2762 display sapience and the ability to speak in American English. They speak in a typical Yankee accent. Males will speak freely with each other, females of their species, and humans.



Male members of SCP-2762, while inhabiting solitary habitats (except when mating), are highly social. When not hunting, males will gather into large informal social gatherings. Males will then produce human-scaled alcoholic beverages labeled "Ferret Fuel", drink them, and socialize between one another. Topics of conversation typically consist of females, how much individual instances of SCP-2762 can drink, and sports. How males of SCP-2762 have knowledge of sports or where they obtain their alcoholic beverages are unknown. In spite of their small size, males show little difficulty in opening and drinking from the bottles.



Males of SCP-2762 will frequently harass females of any species. Males will frequently call females "sluts" and "bitches" following a period of mating.  Previous to female personnel being disallowed from work at Site-127, males conducted several "panty-raids", resulting in several different female personnel's undergarments being displayed on SCP-2762's perimeter fence.



Human males are susceptible to a certain charisma presented by males of SCP-2762. Eventually this may lead to the male referring to the males as "bros" or "homies". This state can be extremely dangerous. For more information refer to Addendum. Human subjects appear to be more affected when they have previously been a member of a College fraternity. Subjects who have never been a member of any fraternity will be forced to partake in "hazing" rituals, which have included:

* Drinking copious amounts of "Ferret Fuel"

*  Retrieving the nameplate from Director Fredericks desk

* Defeating an instance of SCP-2762 in Super Street Fighter II: Turbo.

* Eating a Habanero Pepper, and reciting poetry.

* Nailing large objects through their [REDACTED]



Addendum: Incident 2762-5:



    SCP Items Involved: SCP-2762



    Personnel Involved: Dr. Larkins



    Description: Dr. Larkins had been assigned to directly observe and interact with SCP-2762  due to his previous work with population-based anomalies. He spoke with every male of SCP-2762 and directly observed several mating sessions. On July 7, Dr. Larkins told colleagues he was going to attend a "party". He was discovered with the males of SCP-2762 at approximately 22:03, on all fours, discussing the "rack" of a female colleauge. Personnel became extremely concerned when Dr. larkins began ingesting "Ferret Fuel". They attempted to remove Dr. Larkins to Site-127, however Dr. Larkins reportedly screamed "Can't you see I'm just chilling with my bros?" and bit Researcher Rotal on the leg before fleeing, once again on all fours. Researchers attemped to pursue, however several males began to attack researchers, shouting "Hey, let him walk it off." and "Bro just wants to live the ferret life." Dr. Larkins was found dead 2 days later. He had suffocated after sticking his head into a prairie dog burrow, most likely in pursuit of prey.