tpbolon

How to Be Single (2016)

Mar 9th, 2019
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  1. 1
  2. 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,849
  3. There is a right way to be single.
  4.  
  5. 2
  6. 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,884
  7. Hey. How are you?
  8.  
  9. 3
  10. 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,407
  11. Hi.
  12.  
  13. 4
  14. 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:20,921
  15. Oh, when's your wedding?
  16.  
  17. 5
  18. 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,640
  19. Eighteen months
  20. after I meet the right guy.
  21.  
  22. 6
  23. 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,525
  24. Okay.
  25.  
  26. 7
  27. 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,284
  28. And a wrong way to be single.
  29.  
  30. 8
  31. 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,210
  32. And then there's this guy.
  33.  
  34. 9
  35. 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,846
  36. Good morning.
  37.  
  38. 10
  39. 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,091
  40. Hi. You want a hand with that?
  41.  
  42. 11
  43. 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:54,202
  44. We're embarrassed to admit we're single,
  45. and try to pretend that we're not.
  46.  
  47. 12
  48. 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,763
  49. We need you in Exam Room 3.
  50.  
  51. 13
  52. 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,882
  53. We're supposed to act
  54. all cheerful and happy about it.
  55.  
  56. 14
  57. 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,401
  58. What?
  59.  
  60. 15
  61. 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,441
  62. But why should we be embarrassed?
  63.  
  64. 16
  65. 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,686
  66. We're living longer, marrying later
  67.  
  68. 17
  69. 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,845
  70. and refusing to leave the party
  71. before we're really, really done.
  72.  
  73. 18
  74. 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,004
  75. So, why do we always tell our
  76. stories through relationships?
  77.  
  78. 19
  79. 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,361
  80. Where's home?
  81.  
  82. 20
  83. 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,000
  84. Oh, I'm not going home.
  85.  
  86. 21
  87. 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,285
  88. No way.
  89.  
  90. 22
  91. 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,408
  92. Shit.
  93.  
  94. 23
  95. 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,769
  96. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
  97.  
  98. 24
  99. 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,046
  100. - Here, here.
  101. - Oh, my God, oh, my God...
  102.  
  103. 25
  104. 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,762
  105. I gotcha. Here you go.
  106.  
  107. 26
  108. 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,284
  109. I did not think this through.
  110.  
  111. 27
  112. 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:53,761
  113. I'm Josh.
  114.  
  115. 28
  116. 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,125
  117. I'm Alice.
  118.  
  119. 29
  120. 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,489
  121. But this story isn't about relationships.
  122.  
  123. 30
  124. 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,927
  125. It's about all those times in between
  126.  
  127. 31
  128. 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,444
  129. when maybe, just maybe,
  130. our real life is happening.
  131.  
  132. 32
  133. 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,329
  134. This isn't a break-up. Okay?
  135.  
  136. 33
  137. 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,766
  138. We're just taking some time apart.
  139.  
  140. 34
  141. 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,806
  142. It's temporary. Like, it's...
  143. You know, it's like a break.
  144.  
  145. 35
  146. 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:17,961
  147. Bullshit!
  148.  
  149. 36
  150. 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,004
  151. Josh, I've never been on my own.
  152.  
  153. 37
  154. 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,647
  155. I went from living with my parents,
  156. to living in a dorm, to living with you.
  157.  
  158. 38
  159. 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,685
  160. But we're happy, Alice.
  161.  
  162. 39
  163. 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,010
  164. - Are we?
  165. - Yeah.
  166.  
  167. 40
  168. 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,605
  169. Or are we just boring?
  170.  
  171. 41
  172. 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,526
  173. I'm not boring. I'm fucking fun.
  174.  
  175. 42
  176. 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,763
  177. I say I'm gonna do things all the time,
  178. and I never, ever do them.
  179.  
  180. 43
  181. 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,321
  182. Like, I'm gonna learn to cook,
  183. or take a self-defense class
  184.  
  185. 44
  186. 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,486
  187. or I'm gonna hike the Grand Canyon,
  188. and I never, ever do it.
  189.  
  190. 45
  191. 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,687
  192. That's not my fault.
  193.  
  194. 46
  195. 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,808
  196. You said the boots made your feet hurt.
  197.  
  198. 47
  199. 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,611
  200. Look, if we really want this
  201. to work long term...
  202.  
  203. 48
  204. 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,603
  205. I need to know who I am alone and I don't
  206. want to spend my life wondering "What if?"
  207.  
  208. 49
  209. 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:54,761
  210. This is stupid.
  211.  
  212. 50
  213. 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,004
  214. The minute you walk out of here you're
  215. gonna realize how much shit I do for you
  216.  
  217. 51
  218. 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,845
  219. and how great I am and how much you need
  220. me, and you're gonna start stalking me.
  221.  
  222. 52
  223. 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,286
  224. And that's sad.
  225.  
  226. 53
  227. 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,326
  228. This is gonna be great for both of us.
  229.  
  230. 54
  231. 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,481
  232. Yeah.
  233.  
  234. 55
  235. 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,809
  236. We need to know what it's like
  237. to be single, at least once.
  238.  
  239. 56
  240. 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,369
  241. Can't you just fuck one of my friends?
  242.  
  243. 57
  244. 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,202
  245. Just do something to make me hate you.
  246.  
  247. 58
  248. 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,325
  249. This is gonna be the right thing.
  250.  
  251. 59
  252. 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,001
  253. Oh, God.
  254.  
  255. 60
  256. 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,246
  257. I'm gonna miss your boobs.
  258.  
  259. 61
  260. 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:04,961
  261. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
  262.  
  263. 62
  264. 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,526
  265. Does this make it work?
  266.  
  267. 63
  268. 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,161
  269. Yes! Yes.
  270.  
  271. 64
  272. 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,091
  273. There, good. Good.
  274.  
  275. 65
  276. 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,049
  277. No. No, no.
  278.  
  279. 66
  280. 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,443
  281. Yes. Yes. Okay.
  282.  
  283. 67
  284. 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,123
  285. Yes. Yes, yes, good. Oh!
  286.  
  287. 68
  288. 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,923
  289. Whoa! Whoa!
  290.  
  291. 69
  292. 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,610
  293. Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh!
  294.  
  295. 70
  296. 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,041
  297. What the hell are you doing here?
  298.  
  299. 71
  300. 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,321
  301. I'm cooking you breakfast!
  302.  
  303. 72
  304. 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,170
  305. No, okay. I don't do breakfast.
  306.  
  307. 73
  308. 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,481
  309. Right? You need to get out!
  310.  
  311. 74
  312. 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,687
  313. You're in my apartment!
  314.  
  315. 75
  316. 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,321
  317. Put the...
  318.  
  319. 76
  320. 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,241
  321. This is not my apartment.
  322.  
  323. 77
  324. 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,971
  325. Fuck. Sorry.
  326.  
  327. 78
  328. 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,406
  329. I might be a little drunk.
  330.  
  331. 79
  332. 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,561
  333. Oh.
  334.  
  335. 80
  336. 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,248
  337. I might actually
  338. wipe my fingerprints off that.
  339.  
  340. 81
  341. 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,565
  342. You were great last night.
  343.  
  344. 82
  345. 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,690
  346. - Was I?
  347. - I can't remember.
  348.  
  349. 83
  350. 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:19,965
  351. Okay, let's go to your happy place.
  352.  
  353. 84
  354. 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,121
  355. What if I poop?
  356.  
  357. 85
  358. 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,520
  359. - I won't even notice.
  360. - Oh, God.
  361.  
  362. 86
  363. 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,886
  364. It's totally natural.
  365.  
  366. 87
  367. 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,611
  368. Women have been doing this
  369. for thousands of years, okay?
  370.  
  371. 88
  372. 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,046
  373. Yeah? How many babies have you had?
  374.  
  375. 89
  376. 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,841
  377. Well, I've delivered about 3,000 of them.
  378.  
  379. 90
  380. 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,001
  381. Didn't you want one?
  382.  
  383. 91
  384. 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,401
  385. You know what?
  386.  
  387. 92
  388. 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,049
  389. I just felt like society
  390. doesn't let you pursue your dreams
  391.  
  392. 93
  393. 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,770
  394. once you have children.
  395.  
  396. 94
  397. 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,884
  398. And I didn't feel like
  399. I wanted to give up my identity
  400.  
  401. 95
  402. 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:49,604
  403. to be a slave to some
  404. tiny little love-terrorist.
  405.  
  406. 96
  407. 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,810
  408. You know? Plus, your body falls to
  409. shit, and you have no time to exercise
  410.  
  411. 97
  412. 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,042
  413. and forget about sleep
  414. for the rest of your life, right?
  415.  
  416. 98
  417. 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,366
  418. Oh, no, honey! No, no, no,
  419. no, no, no. You can do it!
  420.  
  421. 99
  422. 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,641
  423. No, I can't. My body went to shit.
  424.  
  425. 100
  426. 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,086
  427. My body went to shit. It did.
  428.  
  429. 101
  430. 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,844
  431. And my vagina's so loose, already!
  432.  
  433. 102
  434. 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,684
  435. - Let's push!
  436. - Okay.
  437.  
  438. 103
  439. 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,081
  440. Yay!
  441.  
  442. 104
  443. 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,609
  444. Is that poop or a baby?
  445.  
  446. 105
  447. 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,850
  448. It's not a baby.
  449.  
  450. 106
  451. 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,251
  452. Robin? This is Alice, our new paralegal.
  453.  
  454. 107
  455. 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,481
  456. Will you give her the tour, please?
  457.  
  458. 108
  459. 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,369
  460. Yes, of course.
  461.  
  462. 109
  463. 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,011
  464. Thank you.
  465.  
  466. 110
  467. 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,161
  468. Hi, I'm Alice.
  469.  
  470. 111
  471. 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,731
  472. - Hi.
  473. - It's so nice to meet you.
  474.  
  475. 112
  476. 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,651
  477. Yeah. Oh, sorry,
  478. my hands are a little bit creamy.
  479.  
  480. 113
  481. 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,168
  482. Okay. All right.
  483.  
  484. 114
  485. 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:39,048
  486. Welcome to the law firm of some guy,
  487. some other guy, and some Jewish guy.
  488.  
  489. 115
  490. 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,009
  491. Just kidding. They're all Jewish.
  492.  
  493. 116
  494. 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,446
  495. I'm really excited to be here.
  496.  
  497. 117
  498. 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,045
  499. This was actually one of my top choices.
  500.  
  501. 118
  502. 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,165
  503. That closet there, is really
  504. good for making personal calls.
  505.  
  506. 119
  507. 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,489
  508. But whatever you do,
  509. do not hook up in this copy room.
  510.  
  511. 120
  512. 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,483
  513. One, it's just, like, so cliché.
  514.  
  515. 121
  516. 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,802
  517. And two, there's a security camera.
  518.  
  519. 122
  520. 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,249
  521. Oh, I'm not really hooking up
  522. with anybody right now
  523.  
  524. 123
  525. 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,640
  526. because recently, I actually...
  527.  
  528. 124
  529. 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,086
  530. Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
  531.  
  532. 125
  533. 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,446
  534. They do record the footage.
  535.  
  536. 126
  537. 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,922
  538. So, unless a leaked sex tape
  539. is part of your two-year plan,
  540.  
  541. 127
  542. 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,082
  543. I'd recommend hooking up in the...
  544.  
  545. 128
  546. 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,763
  547. You'll never know our secrets.
  548.  
  549. 129
  550. 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,410
  551. You'll never know!
  552.  
  553. 130
  554. 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:16,801
  555. Whoo!
  556.  
  557. 131
  558. 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,961
  559. Excuse me. That's none of your business.
  560.  
  561. 132
  562. 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,963
  563. You're kind of making it
  564. my business, here.
  565.  
  566. 133
  567. 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,930
  568. Look, I just moved in upstairs
  569. and my Wi-Fi sucks.
  570.  
  571. 134
  572. 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,967
  573. So, if I have to listen to every drunk
  574. asshole stumble out of here at 5:00 a.m.,
  575.  
  576. 135
  577. 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,770
  578. I'm at least gonna use your free Internet.
  579.  
  580. 136
  581. 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,487
  582. Wow. Okay, hi. Um...
  583.  
  584. 137
  585. 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,729
  586. - I'm Tom. And...
  587. - Hi.
  588.  
  589. 138
  590. 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:41,927
  591. If you're gonna be using my free Wi-Fi,
  592.  
  593. 139
  594. 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,407
  595. at least you can do me a favor
  596. and not write shit like,
  597.  
  598. 140
  599. 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,562
  600. "I want to wake up with my best friend."
  601.  
  602. 141
  603. 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,165
  604. Unless you want my dick to fall off.
  605.  
  606. 142
  607. 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,206
  608. And then maybe we could become
  609. best friends, and that'd be awesome.
  610.  
  611. 143
  612. 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,606
  613. Look, I spent half of last year
  614. creating an algorithm
  615.  
  616. 144
  617. 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,643
  618. that trolls dating apps
  619. for the best candidates
  620.  
  621. 145
  622. 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,529
  623. and downloads them
  624. into an Excel spreadsheet.
  625.  
  626. 146
  627. 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,200
  628. So, I know what I'm looking for.
  629.  
  630. 147
  631. 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,441
  632. Yeah, that's not weird at all.
  633.  
  634. 148
  635. 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,890
  636. What are you really doing online?
  637.  
  638. 149
  639. 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,485
  640. I mean, you're a pretty girl.
  641.  
  642. 150
  643. 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,641
  644. This is New York City.
  645.  
  646. 151
  647. 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,410
  648. There's like a billion people
  649. outside that door.
  650.  
  651. 152
  652. 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,568
  653. Yeah, but how many eligible people?
  654.  
  655. 153
  656. 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,321
  657. Here. Okay, there are eight
  658. million people in this city.
  659.  
  660. 154
  661. 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,484
  662. - Sounds like a lot, right?
  663. - It does.
  664.  
  665. 155
  666. 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,404
  667. But, half of them are women.
  668.  
  669. 156
  670. 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,250
  671. And as hard as I tried in college,
  672. I don't swing that way.
  673.  
  674. 157
  675. 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,765
  676. - How hard did you try?
  677. - Let it go.
  678.  
  679. 158
  680. 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,689
  681. - Okay.
  682. - So, four million men.
  683.  
  684. 159
  685. 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,764
  686. And then you got to have some age limits.
  687.  
  688. 160
  689. 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,485
  690. - Let's say over 20.
  691. - Gotta keep it legal.
  692.  
  693. 161
  694. 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,369
  695. - Under 40.
  696. - Keep it sexy.
  697.  
  698. 162
  699. 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:33,521
  700. Now, it's a million.
  701.  
  702. 163
  703. 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,009
  704. Right. We're talking about a million guys.
  705.  
  706. 164
  707. 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,680
  708. But half of them are married.
  709.  
  710. 165
  711. 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,009
  712. 10% are gay.
  713.  
  714. 166
  715. 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,730
  716. I want someone college educated.
  717.  
  718. 167
  719. 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,848
  720. Not too ugly.
  721.  
  722. 168
  723. 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,202
  724. - So...
  725. - There's your boyfriend.
  726.  
  727. 169
  728. 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,401
  729. I wish.
  730.  
  731. 170
  732. 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,362
  733. He's got to be taller than me...
  734.  
  735. 171
  736. 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,124
  737. And he's got to want kids.
  738.  
  739. 172
  740. 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,443
  741. So, yeah, I'm on 10 different
  742. dating websites to increase my odds.
  743.  
  744. 173
  745. 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,761
  746. So, what do you say?
  747.  
  748. 174
  749. 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,365
  750. You let me treat this bar
  751. like it's my living room
  752.  
  753. 175
  754. 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,364
  755. and I won't call the cops every night
  756. with a noise complaint.
  757.  
  758. 176
  759. 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:08,841
  760. Okay. Very cute.
  761.  
  762. 177
  763. 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,890
  764. - These are the women?
  765. - Hmm.
  766.  
  767. 178
  768. 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,361
  769. Thanks.
  770.  
  771. 179
  772. 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,929
  773. Mmm. Mmm.
  774.  
  775. 180
  776. 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,521
  777. See you around.
  778.  
  779. 181
  780. 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,121
  781. Stupid.
  782.  
  783. 182
  784. 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,361
  785. Have a nice night.
  786.  
  787. 183
  788. 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,522
  789. Wait. What? Where are you going?
  790.  
  791. 184
  792. 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,128
  793. - I'm going home.
  794. - What?
  795.  
  796. 185
  797. 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,011
  798. I never want to hear you
  799. say that again. Ugh!
  800.  
  801. 186
  802. 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,801
  803. You're single now, okay?
  804. You do not go home!
  805.  
  806. 187
  807. 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,240
  808. You shouldn't even have a home.
  809.  
  810. 188
  811. 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,885
  812. You should just have 500 square feet
  813.  
  814. 189
  815. 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,963
  816. where you keep some clothes
  817. and occasionally bathe.
  818.  
  819. 190
  820. 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,771
  821. Well, okay, technically,
  822. I'm not, like, single.
  823.  
  824. 191
  825. 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:39,967
  826. We're just on a break.
  827.  
  828. 192
  829. 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,321
  830. Uh, there's no such thing as a "break,"
  831. Season-3 Ross.
  832.  
  833. 193
  834. 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,766
  835. No, we really are on a break.
  836.  
  837. 194
  838. 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,445
  839. We're just taking
  840. a little bit of time apart
  841.  
  842. 195
  843. 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,648
  844. to make sure
  845. we really want to be together.
  846.  
  847. 196
  848. 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,201
  849. Oh, so you're on some
  850. kind of sexual rumspringa?
  851.  
  852. 197
  853. 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,328
  854. - No.
  855. - Why didn't you say anything?
  856.  
  857. 198
  858. 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,925
  859. I could've made you take a half-day!
  860.  
  861. 199
  862. 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,121
  863. It was my first day at work.
  864.  
  865. 200
  866. 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,367
  867. Rumspringa!
  868.  
  869. 201
  870. 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,568
  871. What? No! Where are we going?
  872.  
  873. 202
  874. 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,968
  875. Ask me for a rum and coke
  876. if you think you're gonna die.
  877.  
  878. 203
  879. 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,451
  880. Get out of here!
  881.  
  882. 204
  883. 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:07,805
  884. Uh... You said on your profile
  885. you're a big dreamer.
  886.  
  887. 205
  888. 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,241
  889. No, please.
  890.  
  891. 206
  892. 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,802
  893. No, no, I think I want
  894. what everybody wants.
  895.  
  896. 207
  897. 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,962
  898. Cross off some things on the bucket list.
  899.  
  900. 208
  901. 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,600
  902. So, what is on your bucket list?
  903.  
  904. 209
  905. 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,761
  906. Usual stuff.
  907.  
  908. 210
  909. 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,365
  910. - Uh, Wrigley Fields.
  911. - Mmm...
  912.  
  913. 211
  914. 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,646
  915. - Dolphin Trainer.
  916. - Oh, boy.
  917.  
  918. 212
  919. 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,007
  920. Oh, my God. I love dolphins.
  921.  
  922. 213
  923. 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,440
  924. Loved, since forever.
  925.  
  926. 214
  927. 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,444
  928. Wow, no, no, you know, because the normal
  929. ones are already checked off, you know?
  930.  
  931. 215
  932. 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,125
  933. - Mmm-hmm.
  934. - Hot Carl.
  935.  
  936. 216
  937. 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,121
  938. - Dirty Sanchez.
  939. - Yeah, that's...
  940.  
  941. 217
  942. 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,770
  943. - Golden Shower. That one.
  944. - Oh.
  945.  
  946. 218
  947. 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,644
  948. I actually checked off by accident.
  949.  
  950. 219
  951. 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,041
  952. Thank you, prom.
  953.  
  954. 220
  955. 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,647
  956. So, these aren't career goals
  957. or life goals.
  958.  
  959. 221
  960. 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,446
  961. These are more sexual things.
  962.  
  963. 222
  964. 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,051
  965. Have you ever heard of the Whack-a-Mole?
  966.  
  967. 223
  968. 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,281
  969. Rum and coke.
  970.  
  971. 224
  972. 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:47,766
  973. Rum and Coke? Really?
  974.  
  975. 225
  976. 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,246
  977. I didn't think you'd want to do a Rum
  978. and Coke with me on our first date.
  979.  
  980. 226
  981. 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,801
  982. - Um, rum and coke?
  983. - I got to find a live hamster.
  984.  
  985. 227
  986. 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,007
  987. So, I guess I could trap a street rat.
  988.  
  989. 228
  990. 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,161
  991. I mean, we are in New York.
  992.  
  993. 229
  994. 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,169
  995. - Rum and coke!
  996. - I got to go shave my legs.
  997.  
  998. 230
  999. 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,567
  1000. - Drink more water.
  1001. - Oh. Okay.
  1002.  
  1003. 231
  1004. 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,721
  1005. Yo.
  1006.  
  1007. 232
  1008. 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,046
  1009. Go lock yourself in my office.
  1010.  
  1011. 233
  1012. 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,366
  1013. Thank you.
  1014.  
  1015. 234
  1016. 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,290
  1017. Here we go.
  1018.  
  1019. 235
  1020. 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,884
  1021. Let me teach you how to be single.
  1022.  
  1023. 236
  1024. 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,449
  1025. Okay, lesson one. Go get us some drinks.
  1026.  
  1027. 237
  1028. 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,761
  1029. Okay.
  1030.  
  1031. 238
  1032. 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,645
  1033. No. That was a trick.
  1034.  
  1035. 239
  1036. 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,606
  1037. You don't buy the drinks.
  1038. Boys buy the drinks.
  1039.  
  1040. 240
  1041. 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,202
  1042. It's kind of like a sexual currency
  1043. that they use,
  1044.  
  1045. 241
  1046. 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,488
  1047. so they're not actually
  1048. paying you to hook up.
  1049.  
  1050. 242
  1051. 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,570
  1052. So, go get us a drink.
  1053.  
  1054. 243
  1055. 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,882
  1056. - Okay.
  1057. - Not... Not with this wallet.
  1058.  
  1059. 244
  1060. 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,644
  1061. - Okay.
  1062. - With the sausage wallet.
  1063.  
  1064. 245
  1065. 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,847
  1066. Which of you is buying oil right now?
  1067.  
  1068. 246
  1069. 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,001
  1070. Do you know how much...
  1071.  
  1072. 247
  1073. 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,725
  1074. Hey, what's up, y'all?
  1075.  
  1076. 248
  1077. 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,730
  1078. I don't know why I just said "y'all."
  1079.  
  1080. 249
  1081. 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,446
  1082. "You all" would have taken
  1083. just as much time.
  1084.  
  1085. 250
  1086. 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,929
  1087. And I'm not even from the South,
  1088. I'm from Portland.
  1089.  
  1090. 251
  1091. 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,363
  1092. Which is southern from Canada.
  1093.  
  1094. 252
  1095. 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,601
  1096. Are y'all Canadian?
  1097.  
  1098. 253
  1099. 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,808
  1100. I just did it again, I said it again.
  1101.  
  1102. 254
  1103. 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,810
  1104. My system should have weeded him out.
  1105.  
  1106. 255
  1107. 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,650
  1108. You probably read your data wrong.
  1109.  
  1110. 256
  1111. 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,008
  1112. I bet that guy told you
  1113. exactly who he was.
  1114.  
  1115. 257
  1116. 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,286
  1117. You just didn't want to hear it.
  1118.  
  1119. 258
  1120. 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,010
  1121. I tell the truth to girls all the time.
  1122.  
  1123. 259
  1124. 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,685
  1125. They hear what they want to hear.
  1126.  
  1127. 260
  1128. 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,405
  1129. That sounds like a load of crap.
  1130.  
  1131. 261
  1132. 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,167
  1133. I'm not kidding. Watch this.
  1134.  
  1135. 262
  1136. 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,842
  1137. - Hey, sweetheart. Hey.
  1138. - Hi.
  1139.  
  1140. 263
  1141. 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,049
  1142. Hey, uh, you know we're only
  1143. sleeping together for fun, right?
  1144.  
  1145. 264
  1146. 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,447
  1147. Because I'm not interested
  1148. in long-term relationships,
  1149.  
  1150. 265
  1151. 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,680
  1152. so I think I'm gonna start seeing other
  1153. people and I think you should move on, too.
  1154.  
  1155. 266
  1156. 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,605
  1157. Because I care about you,
  1158.  
  1159. 267
  1160. 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,603
  1161. and I don't want to see you get hurt.
  1162.  
  1163. 268
  1164. 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,445
  1165. Oh, I care about you, too.
  1166.  
  1167. 269
  1168. 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,485
  1169. Yeah. Hmm.
  1170.  
  1171. 270
  1172. 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:33,921
  1173. Wow.
  1174.  
  1175. 271
  1176. 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,284
  1177. You guys are super dressed-up. Funeral?
  1178.  
  1179. 272
  1180. 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,446
  1181. Oh, my God. Okay, bye.
  1182.  
  1183. 273
  1184. 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,931
  1185. That was a really bad idea.
  1186.  
  1187. 274
  1188. 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,969
  1189. This is stupid.
  1190. I should probably just go home.
  1191.  
  1192. 275
  1193. 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,121
  1194. - It's better.
  1195. - No, are you kidding?
  1196.  
  1197. 276
  1198. 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,723
  1199. You have a small window in which to
  1200. bang your way through New York City.
  1201.  
  1202. 277
  1203. 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,804
  1204. No, Josh and I didn't break up
  1205. so I could see other people.
  1206.  
  1207. 278
  1208. 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,724
  1209. I'm trying to figure out who I am.
  1210.  
  1211. 279
  1212. 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,368
  1213. Then why don't you take this,
  1214. go home and stare at your beave?
  1215.  
  1216. 280
  1217. 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,203
  1218. Look, I'm just gonna
  1219. choose for you. All right?
  1220.  
  1221. 281
  1222. 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,329
  1223. Um... I know.
  1224.  
  1225. 282
  1226. 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,165
  1227. I would like to see your tongue
  1228. in that bartender's face.
  1229.  
  1230. 283
  1231. 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,361
  1232. What?
  1233.  
  1234. 284
  1235. 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,601
  1236. Don't worry, I know him.
  1237.  
  1238. 285
  1239. 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,524
  1240. He's like a palate cleanser.
  1241. He's sexual sorbet.
  1242.  
  1243. 286
  1244. 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:10,681
  1245. That guy?
  1246.  
  1247. 287
  1248. 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:12,609
  1249. Yeah. I've heard he's really good in bed.
  1250.  
  1251. 288
  1252. 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,127
  1253. From myself,
  1254. because I might have slept with him.
  1255.  
  1256. 289
  1257. 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,441
  1258. I can't really remember.
  1259.  
  1260. 290
  1261. 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,011
  1262. Maybe, uh... It was winter.
  1263.  
  1264. 291
  1265. 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,527
  1266. Maybe I just used his dick
  1267. as a scarf. Let's go.
  1268.  
  1269. 292
  1270. 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:21,681
  1271. What?
  1272.  
  1273. 293
  1274. 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:22,967
  1275. Hey, Tom.
  1276.  
  1277. 294
  1278. 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,646
  1279. This is Alice. She's newly single and
  1280. needs to hook up with a random stranger.
  1281.  
  1282. 295
  1283. 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,928
  1284. Let me buy you a drink. Here you go.
  1285.  
  1286. 296
  1287. 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,366
  1288. - Thanks.
  1289. - Uh, thanks.
  1290.  
  1291. 297
  1292. 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,967
  1293. Let me buy you a drink.
  1294.  
  1295. 298
  1296. 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:35,686
  1297. Welcome to the party.
  1298.  
  1299. 299
  1300. 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,681
  1301. Umm, cheers.
  1302.  
  1303. 300
  1304. 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,289
  1305. Whoo!
  1306.  
  1307. 301
  1308. 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,808
  1309. Come on! Yeah! Ha!
  1310.  
  1311. 302
  1312. 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,446
  1313. - Hi!
  1314. - Yeah!
  1315.  
  1316. 303
  1317. 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,201
  1318. - Hey.
  1319. - Hi.
  1320.  
  1321. 304
  1322. 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,888
  1323. Whoa! Whoa!
  1324.  
  1325. 305
  1326. 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,004
  1327. She just hit you in the face!
  1328.  
  1329. 306
  1330. 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,890
  1331. - Oh!
  1332. - Rumspringa!
  1333.  
  1334. 307
  1335. 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:37,766
  1336. Morning, sunshine.
  1337.  
  1338. 308
  1339. 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:38,921
  1340. No.
  1341.  
  1342. 309
  1343. 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,410
  1344. No, Meg! Ow!
  1345.  
  1346. 310
  1347. 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,365
  1348. Oh, my God.
  1349.  
  1350. 311
  1351. 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,170
  1352. Wakey-wakey.
  1353.  
  1354. 312
  1355. 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,810
  1356. A doctor?
  1357.  
  1358. 313
  1359. 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,486
  1360. Did I have sex with a doctor?
  1361. Did we have sex?
  1362.  
  1363. 314
  1364. 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,361
  1365. - No.
  1366. - No?
  1367.  
  1368. 315
  1369. 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,244
  1370. No, we didn't have sex.
  1371.  
  1372. 316
  1373. 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,528
  1374. - I didn't sleep with anybody?
  1375. - No, I don't think so.
  1376.  
  1377. 317
  1378. 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,686
  1379. Why does it smell like weed in here?
  1380.  
  1381. 318
  1382. 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,842
  1383. - You have a little...
  1384. - What?
  1385.  
  1386. 319
  1387. 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,650
  1388. It's in your hair now.
  1389.  
  1390. 320
  1391. 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,007
  1392. It's just right...
  1393.  
  1394. 321
  1395. 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,521
  1396. - What?
  1397. - It...
  1398.  
  1399. 322
  1400. 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,529
  1401. No, I just have long eyelashes.
  1402.  
  1403. 323
  1404. 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,760
  1405. It's a... You have a joint clinging...
  1406.  
  1407. 324
  1408. 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,007
  1409. Oh...
  1410.  
  1411. 325
  1412. 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,204
  1413. Yay! Free coffee!
  1414.  
  1415. 326
  1416. 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,131
  1417. Uh, take two Tylenol,
  1418. and make yourself some breakfast.
  1419.  
  1420. 327
  1421. 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,361
  1422. I love you.
  1423.  
  1424. 328
  1425. 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,602
  1426. Love, love you.
  1427.  
  1428. 329
  1429. 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,563
  1430. Your roommate seems pretty cool.
  1431.  
  1432. 330
  1433. 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,763
  1434. Oh, she's my sister.
  1435.  
  1436. 331
  1437. 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:38,646
  1438. - Really?
  1439. - Mmm-hmm.
  1440.  
  1441. 332
  1442. 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,964
  1443. Uh, then I think I might have pissed
  1444. in your sister's litter box.
  1445.  
  1446. 333
  1447. 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,681
  1448. That's a Zen garden.
  1449.  
  1450. 334
  1451. 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,450
  1452. The cat has a Zen garden?
  1453.  
  1454. 335
  1455. 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,601
  1456. There's no cat.
  1457.  
  1458. 336
  1459. 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,481
  1460. Where am I?
  1461.  
  1462. 337
  1463. 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,768
  1464. I knew I had sex in this apartment!
  1465.  
  1466. 338
  1467. 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,331
  1468. - Oh, yeah.
  1469. - What's up?
  1470.  
  1471. 339
  1472. 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,448
  1473. Okay, where are we?
  1474.  
  1475. 340
  1476. 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,570
  1477. - Um, Broadway and 77th.
  1478. - Um...
  1479.  
  1480. 341
  1481. 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,451
  1482. We have to be at work in 30 minutes,
  1483. so we should probably go this way.
  1484.  
  1485. 342
  1486. 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,364
  1487. It's okay, I can do this in 20.
  1488.  
  1489. 343
  1490. 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:05,681
  1491. - Wait, do what?
  1492. - Let's go.
  1493.  
  1494. 344
  1495. 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,205
  1496. - Wait, do what?
  1497. - Time me!
  1498.  
  1499. 345
  1500. 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,321
  1501. Step one.
  1502.  
  1503. 346
  1504. 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:12,970
  1505. That stuff is for babies.
  1506.  
  1507. 347
  1508. 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,241
  1509. Babies with hangovers.
  1510.  
  1511. 348
  1512. 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,527
  1513. Baba, are we good?
  1514.  
  1515. 349
  1516. 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,804
  1517. Payment accepted. Let's go.
  1518.  
  1519. 350
  1520. 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,001
  1521. Hi!
  1522.  
  1523. 351
  1524. 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,884
  1525. Yeah, hi. I'm really interested
  1526.  
  1527. 352
  1528. 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,166
  1529. in buying a lot of your products but first
  1530. I need you to put all of them on my face,
  1531.  
  1532. 353
  1533. 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,288
  1534. in a very nice way, for free.
  1535.  
  1536. 354
  1537. 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,726
  1538. I'm gonna need a full face,
  1539. with a side of "Wow."
  1540.  
  1541. 355
  1542. 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:04,881
  1543. Okay.
  1544.  
  1545. 356
  1546. 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,249
  1547. Mimosa, hold the orange juice.
  1548.  
  1549. 357
  1550. 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,166
  1551. Here. Come on. Gimme.
  1552.  
  1553. 358
  1554. 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,401
  1555. Nailed it.
  1556.  
  1557. 359
  1558. 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,290
  1559. You're three-and-a-half hours late.
  1560.  
  1561. 360
  1562. 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,762
  1563. Yay! Lunchtime!
  1564.  
  1565. 361
  1566. 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:32,761
  1567. And don't worry about the weight.
  1568.  
  1569. 362
  1570. 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,008
  1571. It should come off
  1572. after you stop nursing the infant.
  1573.  
  1574. 363
  1575. 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,050
  1576. - Katie. That's her name.
  1577. - Oh, okay.
  1578.  
  1579. 364
  1580. 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,804
  1581. Oh, no. I have to pee.
  1582.  
  1583. 365
  1584. 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,485
  1585. It just falls out of me these days.
  1586.  
  1587. 366
  1588. 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,681
  1589. - Can you hold...
  1590. - No, no, no, no, no.
  1591.  
  1592. 367
  1593. 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,211
  1594. I'm not good with babies.
  1595.  
  1596. 368
  1597. 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,810
  1598. Hello. How are you today?
  1599.  
  1600. 369
  1601. 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,760
  1602. Your mom should be coming back soon.
  1603.  
  1604. 370
  1605. 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,086
  1606. Is, um, Katie short for Katherine?
  1607.  
  1608. 371
  1609. 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,644
  1610. See, some women
  1611. would look at what you just did
  1612.  
  1613. 372
  1614. 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,370
  1615. and think that you smiled.
  1616.  
  1617. 373
  1618. 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,124
  1619. But, because I'm a doctor,
  1620.  
  1621. 374
  1622. 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:07,763
  1623. I know that that was probably
  1624. just an involuntary tic, or gas.
  1625.  
  1626. 375
  1627. 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,561
  1628. You know what?
  1629.  
  1630. 376
  1631. 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,682
  1632. You're not that cute,
  1633. and I am not falling for it.
  1634.  
  1635. 377
  1636. 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,248
  1637. So, you just keep trying, but it is "no."
  1638.  
  1639. 378
  1640. 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,885
  1641. Shut up, baby.
  1642.  
  1643. 379
  1644. 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,203
  1645. And, you know what? Don't touch that,
  1646. because that's not very sanitary.
  1647.  
  1648. 380
  1649. 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,930
  1650. Yeah.
  1651.  
  1652. 381
  1653. 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,124
  1654. Germs are little bugs,
  1655. like little microbes
  1656.  
  1657. 382
  1658. 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,204
  1659. that get into your mouth,
  1660. and they make you sick.
  1661.  
  1662. 383
  1663. 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,171
  1664. So, you eat your shoe.
  1665.  
  1666. 384
  1667. 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,764
  1668. You are not winning me over.
  1669. No, you're not.
  1670.  
  1671. 385
  1672. 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,488
  1673. Why do you put everything in your mouth?
  1674.  
  1675. 386
  1676. 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,008
  1677. Hello. Hi.
  1678.  
  1679. 387
  1680. 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,249
  1681. And so we're clear,
  1682. there are a lot of people in this world
  1683.  
  1684. 388
  1685. 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,767
  1686. who need things like you in their lives,
  1687.  
  1688. 389
  1689. 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,445
  1690. to feel complete.
  1691.  
  1692. 390
  1693. 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,964
  1694. I am not one of them.
  1695. I am fine without you.
  1696.  
  1697. 391
  1698. 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,564
  1699. Fine. You win.
  1700.  
  1701. 392
  1702. 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,881
  1703. If Tom texts you, which he won't,
  1704. because it's still daylight,
  1705.  
  1706. 393
  1707. 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,485
  1708. wait four hours to respond.
  1709.  
  1710. 394
  1711. 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,762
  1712. I was not even thinking about Tom.
  1713.  
  1714. 395
  1715. 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,127
  1716. Anything sooner implies
  1717. that you're needy and really co-dependent
  1718.  
  1719. 396
  1720. 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,801
  1721. and incapable of a simple hookup,
  1722. which is all he's good for.
  1723.  
  1724. 397
  1725. 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,644
  1726. I think that I could actually
  1727. be, like, a good...
  1728.  
  1729. 398
  1730. 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,564
  1731. And, when you respond,
  1732. do not respond in full sentences.
  1733.  
  1734. 399
  1735. 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:56,721
  1736. Okay.
  1737.  
  1738. 400
  1739. 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,684
  1740. And if you use an emoji,
  1741. I will fucking tit-punch you.
  1742.  
  1743. 401
  1744. 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,001
  1745. Fine.
  1746.  
  1747. 402
  1748. 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,287
  1749. Fine.
  1750.  
  1751. 403
  1752. 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,409
  1753. No! No! Oh, no.
  1754.  
  1755. 404
  1756. 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,210
  1757. You can have this back
  1758. at the end of the day.
  1759.  
  1760. 405
  1761. 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,441
  1762. Fine.
  1763.  
  1764. 406
  1765. 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:18,881
  1766. An emoji?
  1767.  
  1768. 407
  1769. 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,528
  1770. Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
  1771.  
  1772. 408
  1773. 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,084
  1774. - This is so dumb.
  1775. - Okay.
  1776.  
  1777. 409
  1778. 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,685
  1779. It's not like I don't know
  1780. you're bad for me.
  1781.  
  1782. 410
  1783. 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,841
  1784. Sure.
  1785.  
  1786. 411
  1787. 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,126
  1788. And I'm not gonna be
  1789. one of those clichéd girls
  1790.  
  1791. 412
  1792. 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,805
  1793. who thinks I can, like,
  1794. change you, or something.
  1795.  
  1796. 413
  1797. 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,041
  1798. - No, you can't.
  1799. - No.
  1800.  
  1801. 414
  1802. 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:43,641
  1803. I'm telling you.
  1804.  
  1805. 415
  1806. 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,684
  1807. Sex? It's the best way
  1808. to find out what you want.
  1809.  
  1810. 416
  1811. 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,322
  1812. Think about it,
  1813. the whole love thing, the whole,
  1814.  
  1815. 417
  1816. 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,369
  1817. "I just want a guy
  1818. to notice when I'm cold."
  1819.  
  1820. 418
  1821. 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,926
  1822. It's nice when a guy notices
  1823. when you're cold. It means he's...
  1824.  
  1825. 419
  1826. 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,930
  1827. It means he's faking it, because he knows
  1828. that's what you want to hear.
  1829.  
  1830. 420
  1831. 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,245
  1832. So, instead of being a psycho who pretends
  1833. that I give a shit if you're cold,
  1834.  
  1835. 421
  1836. 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,164
  1837. I tell everyone the same thing.
  1838.  
  1839. 422
  1840. 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,607
  1841. "If you're looking for the one,
  1842. that's not me.
  1843.  
  1844. 423
  1845. 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,647
  1846. "If you're looking for the one
  1847. to have a little fun with, I'm that one."
  1848.  
  1849. 424
  1850. 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,721
  1851. - Oh.
  1852. - Yep.
  1853.  
  1854. 425
  1855. 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,367
  1856. - Whew!
  1857. - I've always been in relationships.
  1858.  
  1859. 426
  1860. 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,962
  1861. But, I guess
  1862. that's just because I actually
  1863.  
  1864. 427
  1865. 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,168
  1866. don't really know how to stay single.
  1867.  
  1868. 428
  1869. 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,725
  1870. Then you came to the right place.
  1871.  
  1872. 429
  1873. 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,403
  1874. The trick is to love them,
  1875. but get them to leave you.
  1876.  
  1877. 430
  1878. 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:27,641
  1879. That way, nobody gets hurt.
  1880.  
  1881. 431
  1882. 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:28,801
  1883. Check this out.
  1884.  
  1885. 432
  1886. 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,650
  1887. What do all these things
  1888. have in common? Go.
  1889.  
  1890. 433
  1891. 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,242
  1892. Um, ketchup and beer.
  1893.  
  1894. 434
  1895. 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,084
  1896. Pickles, chocolate sauce.
  1897.  
  1898. 435
  1899. 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:37,601
  1900. Are you pregnant?
  1901.  
  1902. 436
  1903. 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,161
  1904. No, they can't be used to make breakfast.
  1905.  
  1906. 437
  1907. 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,606
  1908. There's no reason
  1909. to stick around in the morning,
  1910.  
  1911. 438
  1912. 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,966
  1913. because you can't make an omelet.
  1914.  
  1915. 439
  1916. 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,202
  1917. Plus, no water. So, hungover chicks...
  1918.  
  1919. 440
  1920. 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,405
  1921. You got to leave to survive.
  1922.  
  1923. 441
  1924. 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,725
  1925. Except for that New York water is delicious
  1926. and you can just drink it from the tap.
  1927.  
  1928. 442
  1929. 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,803
  1930. Yeah. But, uh...
  1931.  
  1932. 443
  1933. 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,442
  1934. From... What...
  1935.  
  1936. 444
  1937. 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,642
  1938. - Glass?
  1939. - Wow!
  1940.  
  1941. 445
  1942. 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:58,961
  1943. You're a piece of work.
  1944.  
  1945. 446
  1946. 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,281
  1947. Mmm-hmm.
  1948.  
  1949. 447
  1950. 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,481
  1951. Glass.
  1952.  
  1953. 448
  1954. 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,127
  1955. Okay, MacGyver, no woman's
  1956. gotten this far, but, um...
  1957.  
  1958. 449
  1959. 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,410
  1960. You had a plumber cut your water?
  1961.  
  1962. 450
  1963. 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,483
  1964. No. I did it myself.
  1965.  
  1966. 451
  1967. 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:16,721
  1968. What if you need to wash your hands?
  1969.  
  1970. 452
  1971. 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,041
  1972. What am I, a surgeon?
  1973.  
  1974. 453
  1975. 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:19,771
  1976. What if you get thirsty?
  1977.  
  1978. 454
  1979. 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,170
  1980. - Nice. Well done.
  1981. - Yeah, right?
  1982.  
  1983. 455
  1984. 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,651
  1985. Totally thought it was a nightstand,
  1986. didn't you?
  1987.  
  1988. 456
  1989. 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,080
  1990. You're a psycho.
  1991.  
  1992. 457
  1993. 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,129
  1994. I'm not a psycho.
  1995. Look, most guys are like me,
  1996.  
  1997. 458
  1998. 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,770
  1999. they're just not honest about it.
  2000.  
  2001. 459
  2002. 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,081
  2003. I'm telling you,
  2004.  
  2005. 460
  2006. 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,729
  2007. this is what it's like out there.
  2008.  
  2009. 461
  2010. 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,441
  2011. Why are you telling me this?
  2012.  
  2013. 462
  2014. 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:38,921
  2015. I don't know.
  2016.  
  2017. 463
  2018. 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,443
  2019. It's just... You're different.
  2020.  
  2021. 464
  2022. 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,124
  2023. Oh, my God.
  2024. That's the thing you say to girls.
  2025.  
  2026. 465
  2027. 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,446
  2028. Yes, it is. Works, though, right?
  2029.  
  2030. 466
  2031. 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,601
  2032. Completely.
  2033.  
  2034. 467
  2035. 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,006
  2036. Anyway, end of the tour.
  2037.  
  2038. 468
  2039. 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,686
  2040. And, um, this was fun.
  2041.  
  2042. 469
  2043. 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,008
  2044. See you.
  2045.  
  2046. 470
  2047. 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,241
  2048. Hi.
  2049.  
  2050. 471
  2051. 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,366
  2052. Uh, mimosa?
  2053.  
  2054. 472
  2055. 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,525
  2056. Uh, no, I'm actually
  2057. on my way to a meeting.
  2058.  
  2059. 473
  2060. 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,729
  2061. So, I'm probably not gonna start drinking
  2062. at 8:30 on a Thursday.
  2063.  
  2064. 474
  2065. 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:47,091
  2066. Yeah, no, I didn't...
  2067. I don't want one, either.
  2068.  
  2069. 475
  2070. 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,404
  2071. Um, I got us chocolate chip pancakes
  2072. for the table, like we used to.
  2073.  
  2074. 476
  2075. 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,326
  2076. Um, cool.
  2077. I don't have a lot of time, so...
  2078.  
  2079. 477
  2080. 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,448
  2081. Okay, no, then I'll just get right to it.
  2082.  
  2083. 478
  2084. 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,244
  2085. I'm done. I'm... I'm finally done.
  2086.  
  2087. 479
  2088. 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,564
  2089. What? What are you done with?
  2090.  
  2091. 480
  2092. 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:05,846
  2093. With our time apart.
  2094.  
  2095. 481
  2096. 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,126
  2097. I know it's been really difficult.
  2098.  
  2099. 482
  2100. 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,691
  2101. It's been difficult on both of us.
  2102.  
  2103. 483
  2104. 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,561
  2105. But, I'm finally ready
  2106. for us to be together.
  2107.  
  2108. 484
  2109. 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,201
  2110. And I'll never have to wonder
  2111. about anything else.
  2112.  
  2113. 485
  2114. 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,441
  2115. I'm seeing someone.
  2116.  
  2117. 486
  2118. 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,046
  2119. That is...
  2120.  
  2121. 487
  2122. 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,247
  2123. Congratulations.
  2124.  
  2125. 488
  2126. 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,601
  2127. Um...
  2128.  
  2129. 489
  2130. 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,289
  2131. So, then, so, Josh, you want to just,
  2132. like, tell me when you're done, then?
  2133.  
  2134. 490
  2135. 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,044
  2136. I don't know, Alice.
  2137.  
  2138. 491
  2139. 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,884
  2140. Like, we can...
  2141. We'll just wait till you're done.
  2142.  
  2143. 492
  2144. 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:35,966
  2145. Shit's different, I'm not...
  2146.  
  2147. 493
  2148. 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:39,602
  2149. I'm not sure I want
  2150. the same things anymore.
  2151.  
  2152. 494
  2153. 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,411
  2154. You mean, like, me?
  2155.  
  2156. 495
  2157. 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,841
  2158. I didn't need an experiment
  2159. to know that I loved you.
  2160.  
  2161. 496
  2162. 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,127
  2163. And I'm not an idiot.
  2164.  
  2165. 497
  2166. 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,086
  2167. You're, I guess, done with
  2168. whatever you've been doing
  2169.  
  2170. 498
  2171. 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,882
  2172. with whoever you've been doing, and you
  2173. think you can come running back to me?
  2174.  
  2175. 499
  2176. 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,845
  2177. No, thanks. I'll pass.
  2178.  
  2179. 500
  2180. 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,320
  2181. Who ordered pancakes?
  2182.  
  2183. 501
  2184. 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,361
  2185. Meg, I'm not ready to be alone. I'm not.
  2186.  
  2187. 502
  2188. 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,290
  2189. I don't know how to reset my router.
  2190.  
  2191. 503
  2192. 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,481
  2193. I don't even know where it is.
  2194.  
  2195. 504
  2196. 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,569
  2197. I don't even really know
  2198. what, exactly, it does.
  2199.  
  2200. 505
  2201. 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,811
  2202. I'm gonna be alone forever.
  2203.  
  2204. 506
  2205. 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,609
  2206. At least my dead body
  2207. will serve as food for my cats.
  2208.  
  2209. 507
  2210. 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,406
  2211. In the eight weeks that it
  2212. takes for anybody to find me,
  2213.  
  2214. 508
  2215. 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,164
  2216. because nobody gives a fuck.
  2217.  
  2218. 509
  2219. 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,522
  2220. Why are you watching Bridget Jones?
  2221.  
  2222. 510
  2223. 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:35,806
  2224. What did I tell you?
  2225.  
  2226. 511
  2227. 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,166
  2228. It feels good in the moment.
  2229.  
  2230. 512
  2231. 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,886
  2232. I know, but it's a bad idea.
  2233.  
  2234. 513
  2235. 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:44,204
  2236. You get yourself all hopped up
  2237. on Sex and the City and Bridget Jones
  2238.  
  2239. 514
  2240. 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:47,523
  2241. and thinking that you need to have some
  2242. big single experience.
  2243.  
  2244. 515
  2245. 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,684
  2246. - Which, by the way, is total bullshit.
  2247. - No.
  2248.  
  2249. 516
  2250. 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,888
  2251. All those girls ever did
  2252. was look for boyfriends.
  2253.  
  2254. 517
  2255. 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,609
  2256. And this is a great thing,
  2257. because now you can focus on your career.
  2258.  
  2259. 518
  2260. 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,884
  2261. What? No! I put myself out, into the
  2262. world, and it completely rejected me.
  2263.  
  2264. 519
  2265. 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,201
  2266. Whoa!
  2267.  
  2268. 520
  2269. 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,291
  2270. Okay, you haven't been single
  2271. for that long!
  2272.  
  2273. 521
  2274. 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,441
  2275. Yeah.
  2276.  
  2277. 522
  2278. 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,962
  2279. You got to go around the board,
  2280. pass "Go," collect 200 dicks.
  2281.  
  2282. 523
  2283. 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:13,487
  2284. And you remember the best thing
  2285. that ever happened to me
  2286.  
  2287. 524
  2288. 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,449
  2289. was when I was thinking about
  2290. quitting medical school.
  2291.  
  2292. 525
  2293. 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,329
  2294. Please don't tell
  2295. the medical school story.
  2296.  
  2297. 526
  2298. 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:21,601
  2299. And then, my piece of shit boyfriend,
  2300. Bobby, cheated on me with my lab partner,
  2301.  
  2302. 527
  2303. 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,287
  2304. because she was willing
  2305. to do things that I wasn't.
  2306.  
  2307. 528
  2308. 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,646
  2309. Did it involve midgets?
  2310.  
  2311. 529
  2312. 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:28,721
  2313. No.
  2314.  
  2315. 530
  2316. 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,128
  2317. I once slept with an albino.
  2318.  
  2319. 531
  2320. 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,090
  2321. Anyway, the good news is, now there are...
  2322.  
  2323. 532
  2324. 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,201
  2325. 3,000 beautiful babies in the world
  2326. and no one can take that away
  2327.  
  2328. 533
  2329. 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,401
  2330. - ...from me.
  2331. - ...from her.
  2332.  
  2333. 534
  2334. 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,449
  2335. Why don't you go
  2336. to one of those alumni events?
  2337.  
  2338. 535
  2339. 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:42,601
  2340. An alumni event?
  2341.  
  2342. 536
  2343. 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,201
  2344. You go, and you network with people
  2345.  
  2346. 537
  2347. 00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,330
  2348. and if you really love what you do
  2349.  
  2350. 538
  2351. 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,364
  2352. then the whole guy thing is easier.
  2353.  
  2354. 539
  2355. 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,728
  2356. No! I don't want to be like you, Meg.
  2357.  
  2358. 540
  2359. 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,326
  2360. I don't want my job to be my entire life.
  2361.  
  2362. 541
  2363. 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,561
  2364. Ooh.
  2365.  
  2366. 542
  2367. 00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,922
  2368. Okay. Sisters, time-out.
  2369.  
  2370. 543
  2371. 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,441
  2372. There are pros and cons
  2373. to both of you, okay?
  2374.  
  2375. 544
  2376. 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,206
  2377. Pros. Young, beautiful.
  2378.  
  2379. 545
  2380. 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:10,204
  2381. Pros. Also beautiful, for your age.
  2382.  
  2383. 546
  2384. 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:12,601
  2385. Rich. Doctor. Access to pills.
  2386.  
  2387. 547
  2388. 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,524
  2389. Cons. No access to pills.
  2390.  
  2391. 548
  2392. 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,523
  2393. Cons. You're really stingy with the pills.
  2394.  
  2395. 549
  2396. 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,721
  2397. Right.
  2398.  
  2399. 550
  2400. 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,285
  2401. Pros. Loves me unconditionally.
  2402.  
  2403. 551
  2404. 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,169
  2405. Gives me the spare key to the apartment.
  2406.  
  2407. 552
  2408. 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,560
  2409. Has a very nice underwear drawer.
  2410.  
  2411. 553
  2412. 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,046
  2413. Very neat and organized.
  2414.  
  2415. 554
  2416. 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,440
  2417. You have a key to my apartment?
  2418.  
  2419. 555
  2420. 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,290
  2421. Cons. Asks too many personal questions.
  2422.  
  2423. 556
  2424. 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:33,286
  2425. Okay. I'm gonna take my old, lonely,
  2426. workaholic ass back to the hospital.
  2427.  
  2428. 557
  2429. 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,166
  2430. Cons. Ugly when sad.
  2431.  
  2432. 558
  2433. 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,729
  2434. - Hey, did you bring a sandwich from home?
  2435. - Mmm.
  2436.  
  2437. 559
  2438. 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,522
  2439. Are you wearing pajamas in a bar?
  2440.  
  2441. 560
  2442. 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:53,681
  2443. They're sweatpants.
  2444.  
  2445. 561
  2446. 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:54,841
  2447. I think you're bumming some people out.
  2448.  
  2449. 562
  2450. 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,088
  2451. You might want to take your
  2452. "give up" pants and go home.
  2453.  
  2454. 563
  2455. 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,241
  2456. Leave me alone.
  2457.  
  2458. 564
  2459. 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,324
  2460. I love this bar.
  2461.  
  2462. 565
  2463. 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,925
  2464. Lucy?
  2465.  
  2466. 566
  2467. 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,321
  2468. Lucy?
  2469.  
  2470. 567
  2471. 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,481
  2472. Hi!
  2473.  
  2474. 568
  2475. 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,526
  2476. Oh, my God!
  2477.  
  2478. 569
  2479. 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,324
  2480. Brittany! Hi!
  2481.  
  2482. 570
  2483. 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,845
  2484. - How are you?
  2485. - How are you?
  2486.  
  2487. 571
  2488. 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,081
  2489. I'm getting married!
  2490.  
  2491. 572
  2492. 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,446
  2493. She's getting married!
  2494.  
  2495. 573
  2496. 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,368
  2497. That is just the best news
  2498. I've ever heard in my entire life!
  2499.  
  2500. 574
  2501. 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,681
  2502. Oh, yay!
  2503.  
  2504. 575
  2505. 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:20,887
  2506. How old are your kids?
  2507.  
  2508. 576
  2509. 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:22,520
  2510. No.
  2511.  
  2512. 577
  2513. 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,970
  2514. I don't have any.
  2515. I just read to them sometimes.
  2516.  
  2517. 578
  2518. 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,251
  2519. But not in, like, a sad way.
  2520.  
  2521. 579
  2522. 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,323
  2523. It's more like a volunteer thing?
  2524.  
  2525. 580
  2526. 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:31,761
  2527. Oh. Oh.
  2528.  
  2529. 581
  2530. 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,651
  2531. Yeah. Yeah.
  2532.  
  2533. 582
  2534. 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,961
  2535. So, are you married?
  2536.  
  2537. 583
  2538. 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,480
  2539. No. No.
  2540.  
  2541. 584
  2542. 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:37,641
  2543. Dating anyone?
  2544.  
  2545. 585
  2546. 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,086
  2547. Afraid not.
  2548.  
  2549. 586
  2550. 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:40,526
  2551. Are you divorced?
  2552.  
  2553. 587
  2554. 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,409
  2555. No, no one's ever loved me enough
  2556.  
  2557. 588
  2558. 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,403
  2559. to eventually divorce me.
  2560.  
  2561. 589
  2562. 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,371
  2563. You got to get in the game,
  2564. before you can lose, so...
  2565.  
  2566. 590
  2567. 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:51,366
  2568. I'm not even a good loser, yet.
  2569.  
  2570. 591
  2571. 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,445
  2572. Oh, my God, are those penis straws?
  2573.  
  2574. 592
  2575. 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,802
  2576. You guys are gonna have
  2577. a crazy night tonight!
  2578.  
  2579. 593
  2580. 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:56,961
  2581. Hi...
  2582.  
  2583. 594
  2584. 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:06,766
  2585. Hey, baby.
  2586.  
  2587. 595
  2588. 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,571
  2589. This is, um...
  2590.  
  2591. 596
  2592. 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,803
  2593. It's all right, you can say it.
  2594. Miss Independent right here, right?
  2595.  
  2596. 597
  2597. 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:13,961
  2598. I'm her boyfriend.
  2599.  
  2600. 598
  2601. 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,685
  2602. - Oh...
  2603. - He's your boyfriend.
  2604.  
  2605. 599
  2606. 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,881
  2607. This is my boyfriend.
  2608.  
  2609. 600
  2610. 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,765
  2611. God, doesn't she look smoking hot
  2612. in these sweatpants?
  2613.  
  2614. 601
  2615. 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,962
  2616. Oh, wow, that's so sweet.
  2617.  
  2618. 602
  2619. 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,168
  2620. This is Brittany.
  2621. She's getting married, obviously.
  2622.  
  2623. 603
  2624. 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,367
  2625. Oh, you're the one getting married.
  2626.  
  2627. 604
  2628. 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,244
  2629. Marriage!
  2630.  
  2631. 605
  2632. 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,762
  2633. The end of spontaneous sex,
  2634. traveling by yourself
  2635.  
  2636. 606
  2637. 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,605
  2638. and buying whatever you want
  2639. without having to ask permission, right?
  2640.  
  2641. 607
  2642. 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,810
  2643. Marriage!
  2644.  
  2645. 608
  2646. 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,850
  2647. Congratulations, good luck with it.
  2648. I hope it lasts.
  2649.  
  2650. 609
  2651. 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,688
  2652. Sorry. No filter.
  2653.  
  2654. 610
  2655. 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,046
  2656. Hey, listen. I hope, uh,
  2657. that kiss wasn't too much.
  2658.  
  2659. 611
  2660. 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,726
  2661. Oh, my God. No, no, that was awesome!
  2662.  
  2663. 612
  2664. 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,804
  2665. Thank you so much! Good night.
  2666.  
  2667. 613
  2668. 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,042
  2669. Come on, you fucking bitch.
  2670.  
  2671. 614
  2672. 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,081
  2673. Hey.
  2674.  
  2675. 615
  2676. 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,841
  2677. Sorry. Was that supposed to be
  2678. a private moment?
  2679.  
  2680. 616
  2681. 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,490
  2682. I can't get my zipper.
  2683.  
  2684. 617
  2685. 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,291
  2686. I'm sorry for what I said to you.
  2687.  
  2688. 618
  2689. 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:15,441
  2690. What?
  2691.  
  2692. 619
  2693. 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:16,761
  2694. I said, I'm sorry for what I said to you.
  2695.  
  2696. 620
  2697. 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:17,921
  2698. Can't hear you.
  2699.  
  2700. 621
  2701. 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,842
  2702. I said I'm sorry for what I said to you!
  2703.  
  2704. 622
  2705. 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,003
  2706. What?
  2707.  
  2708. 623
  2709. 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,483
  2710. I'm gonna have a baby.
  2711.  
  2712. 624
  2713. 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,369
  2714. - What?
  2715. - I found a sperm donor.
  2716.  
  2717. 625
  2718. 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,648
  2719. This guy. He's of Swedish descent.
  2720.  
  2721. 626
  2722. 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,245
  2723. - Oh, my God.
  2724. - He has no known cancers
  2725.  
  2726. 627
  2727. 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,131
  2728. on either side of his family,
  2729. no history of drug abuse.
  2730.  
  2731. 628
  2732. 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,362
  2733. No history of any kind
  2734. of mental illness, or...
  2735.  
  2736. 629
  2737. 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:42,925
  2738. - Oh, my God.
  2739. - I know.
  2740.  
  2741. 630
  2742. 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,923
  2743. Oh, my God.
  2744.  
  2745. 631
  2746. 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,645
  2747. I know.
  2748.  
  2749. 632
  2750. 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,645
  2751. Wait. Do you think it's a bad idea?
  2752.  
  2753. 633
  2754. 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,370
  2755. Why are you saying
  2756. "Oh, my God" five times?
  2757.  
  2758. 634
  2759. 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,010
  2760. No, but... Wait, when do you meet him?
  2761.  
  2762. 635
  2763. 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:54,201
  2764. That's the best part.
  2765.  
  2766. 636
  2767. 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,648
  2768. I never, ever have to meet him,
  2769. or any of his family.
  2770.  
  2771. 637
  2772. 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,609
  2773. There's no strings attached at all.
  2774.  
  2775. 638
  2776. 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,285
  2777. Nothing. Is that crazy?
  2778.  
  2779. 639
  2780. 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,011
  2781. No. Oh, my God, you're gonna have a baby.
  2782.  
  2783. 640
  2784. 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,049
  2785. - I know!
  2786. - You're gonna have a baby!
  2787.  
  2788. 641
  2789. 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,364
  2790. I'm so happy for you.
  2791.  
  2792. 642
  2793. 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,563
  2794. You'll always be my baby first.
  2795.  
  2796. 643
  2797. 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,161
  2798. But you do need to grow up.
  2799.  
  2800. 644
  2801. 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,485
  2802. And you do need to move out
  2803. by this Friday.
  2804.  
  2805. 645
  2806. 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:17,681
  2807. What?
  2808.  
  2809. 646
  2810. 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,450
  2811. The co-op board found out you were here.
  2812.  
  2813. 647
  2814. 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,563
  2815. Is this a bad idea? Would you tell me?
  2816.  
  2817. 648
  2818. 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,802
  2819. No, you're gonna be
  2820. the best mom in the world.
  2821.  
  2822. 649
  2823. 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,200
  2824. Wait. Just go back.
  2825.  
  2826. 650
  2827. 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,681
  2828. What was that thing
  2829. that you just said about the co-op board?
  2830.  
  2831. 651
  2832. 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,046
  2833. You need to be out by Friday.
  2834.  
  2835. 652
  2836. 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,130
  2837. But you're allowed to have guests.
  2838.  
  2839. 653
  2840. 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,006
  2841. Yes. But my guests aren't allowed
  2842. to slide down the trash chute, naked.
  2843.  
  2844. 654
  2845. 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,123
  2846. I didn't go naked down the...
  2847.  
  2848. 655
  2849. 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,330
  2850. Oh.
  2851.  
  2852. 656
  2853. 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,444
  2854. - Robin did that.
  2855. - Mmm-hmm.
  2856.  
  2857. 657
  2858. 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,447
  2859. I've seen security footage. And it just...
  2860.  
  2861. 658
  2862. 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:46,846
  2863. Hmm.
  2864.  
  2865. 659
  2866. 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,326
  2867. I don't know.
  2868.  
  2869. 660
  2870. 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,964
  2871. It seems kind of homey, like you'd
  2872. actually want to spend time here.
  2873.  
  2874. 661
  2875. 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,283
  2876. Oh, this could be a reading window.
  2877.  
  2878. 662
  2879. 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,283
  2880. Reading is for ugly losers.
  2881.  
  2882. 663
  2883. 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,930
  2884. I don't know. I really like it.
  2885.  
  2886. 664
  2887. 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:19,650
  2888. Yeah, but, I mean... Oh!
  2889.  
  2890. 665
  2891. 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:20,847
  2892. Wait! No, don't do that!
  2893.  
  2894. 666
  2895. 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,968
  2896. That just... That just fell off.
  2897.  
  2898. 667
  2899. 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,286
  2900. I think I'm gonna take it.
  2901.  
  2902. 668
  2903. 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:25,771
  2904. This place is dangerous.
  2905.  
  2906. 669
  2907. 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:27,251
  2908. It's perfect.
  2909.  
  2910. 670
  2911. 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,131
  2912. Don't let that... Don't...
  2913.  
  2914. 671
  2915. 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,962
  2916. - Did that just break?
  2917. - Yeah.
  2918.  
  2919. 672
  2920. 00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:35,890
  2921. Good night.
  2922.  
  2923. 673
  2924. 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,405
  2925. That was weird.
  2926.  
  2927. 674
  2928. 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,481
  2929. Maybe you should just leave it in there.
  2930.  
  2931. 675
  2932. 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:46,926
  2933. Maybe you shouldn't shake it like that.
  2934.  
  2935. 676
  2936. 00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,531
  2937. What, it's gonna make the pee go in there.
  2938.  
  2939. 677
  2940. 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,081
  2941. No, it doesn't work like that.
  2942. That's not a Polaroid.
  2943.  
  2944. 678
  2945. 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,089
  2946. I'm gonna be the best auntie, ever. I am.
  2947.  
  2948. 679
  2949. 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:54,770
  2950. I'm gonna give that kid whatever it wants.
  2951.  
  2952. 680
  2953. 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,530
  2954. Forever. All the sugar in the world.
  2955.  
  2956. 681
  2957. 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:57,966
  2958. Don't get your hopes up, okay?
  2959.  
  2960. 682
  2961. 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,804
  2962. Because it never works on the first time.
  2963.  
  2964. 683
  2965. 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,166
  2966. It's too late.
  2967.  
  2968. 684
  2969. 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,081
  2970. Mmm.
  2971.  
  2972. 685
  2973. 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,808
  2974. See? I told you.
  2975.  
  2976. 686
  2977. 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:10,766
  2978. - Are you okay?
  2979. - Yeah.
  2980.  
  2981. 687
  2982. 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,241
  2983. No, it always... This is...
  2984.  
  2985. 688
  2986. 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,886
  2987. It doesn't usually work
  2988. on the first time, like I said.
  2989.  
  2990. 689
  2991. 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,771
  2992. What?
  2993.  
  2994. 690
  2995. 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,890
  2996. I deal with this kind of thing
  2997. all the time. You know that.
  2998.  
  2999. 691
  3000. 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:27,966
  3001. Are you drinking enough water?
  3002.  
  3003. 692
  3004. 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,527
  3005. Your lips are really dry,
  3006. which means you're dehydrated.
  3007.  
  3008. 693
  3009. 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,324
  3010. I'll go get you some water.
  3011.  
  3012. 694
  3013. 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,121
  3014. These plums are available through
  3015. late summer, early autumn.
  3016.  
  3017. 695
  3018. 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,281
  3019. Alice!
  3020.  
  3021. 696
  3022. 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,290
  3023. And they're just wonderful,
  3024. they're called Italian prune plums.
  3025.  
  3026. 697
  3027. 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,566
  3028. So, we're gonna make
  3029. a little bit of caramel
  3030.  
  3031. 698
  3032. 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,451
  3033. with a cup of sugar,
  3034. and a third of a cup of water.
  3035.  
  3036. 699
  3037. 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,849
  3038. I'm just gonna cook it over medium heat
  3039. until it's nice and caramelized and brown...
  3040.  
  3041. 700
  3042. 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,047
  3043. Alice!
  3044.  
  3045. 701
  3046. 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,565
  3047. - Hi.
  3048. - Hi.
  3049.  
  3050. 702
  3051. 00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:04,801
  3052. My buzzer's broken.
  3053.  
  3054. 703
  3055. 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,531
  3056. It's like if Romeo and Juliet
  3057. had lived in New York.
  3058.  
  3059. 704
  3060. 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,688
  3061. That was bad. Can I come up?
  3062.  
  3063. 705
  3064. 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:10,841
  3065. Yeah.
  3066.  
  3067. 706
  3068. 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,802
  3069. If you want to make
  3070. this cake another time...
  3071.  
  3072. 707
  3073. 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:35,881
  3074. Hey.
  3075.  
  3076. 708
  3077. 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,286
  3078. Hey.
  3079.  
  3080. 709
  3081. 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:38,606
  3082. It's good to see you.
  3083.  
  3084. 710
  3085. 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,331
  3086. So good to see you. What's up?
  3087.  
  3088. 711
  3089. 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,770
  3090. Well, I was going through my closet,
  3091. and I found a bunch of your old stuff,
  3092.  
  3093. 712
  3094. 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,002
  3095. so I thought you might want it.
  3096.  
  3097. 713
  3098. 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,840
  3099. I could've come by to get this.
  3100.  
  3101. 714
  3102. 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,643
  3103. Well, actually,
  3104. that's the thing, is, um...
  3105.  
  3106. 715
  3107. 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,289
  3108. That's part of why I wanted to come over.
  3109.  
  3110. 716
  3111. 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:01,521
  3112. Uh...
  3113.  
  3114. 717
  3115. 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,880
  3116. So, Michelle is moving in tomorrow.
  3117.  
  3118. 718
  3119. 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,041
  3120. - So...
  3121. - Wow!
  3122.  
  3123. 719
  3124. 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,483
  3125. Michelle.
  3126.  
  3127. 720
  3128. 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:14,281
  3129. She's got a name and everything.
  3130.  
  3131. 721
  3132. 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,487
  3133. She's got a name.
  3134.  
  3135. 722
  3136. 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:16,687
  3137. Well, technically,
  3138. she's always had a name.
  3139.  
  3140. 723
  3141. 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,649
  3142. - Mmm-hmm.
  3143. - I mean, her lease was up
  3144.  
  3145. 724
  3146. 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,605
  3147. and I was with this Craigslist guy,
  3148. and he started stealing my socks.
  3149.  
  3150. 725
  3151. 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:22,841
  3152. And so, it just made sense.
  3153.  
  3154. 726
  3155. 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,650
  3156. - It makes sense.
  3157. - And we're excited.
  3158.  
  3159. 727
  3160. 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,882
  3161. Mmm-hmm. We are. You said "we." Okay.
  3162.  
  3163. 728
  3164. 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:28,041
  3165. So...
  3166.  
  3167. 729
  3168. 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,009
  3169. So let me give you the tour.
  3170.  
  3171. 730
  3172. 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:31,326
  3173. Um, this is the kitchen.
  3174.  
  3175. 731
  3176. 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,084
  3177. This is the dining room.
  3178.  
  3179. 732
  3180. 00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:38,280
  3181. This is the living room
  3182. workspace-bedroom region.
  3183.  
  3184. 733
  3185. 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,283
  3186. And are you working on your Spanish?
  3187.  
  3188. 734
  3189. 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,211
  3190. Oh, that's been that way since I moved in,
  3191. and I don't know how to fix it.
  3192.  
  3193. 735
  3194. 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,884
  3195. And now I don't know what the world
  3196. would be like if it wasn't in Spanish.
  3197.  
  3198. 736
  3199. 00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:53,765
  3200. It's pretty easy, you know, it's...
  3201.  
  3202. 737
  3203. 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:02,806
  3204. Alice.
  3205.  
  3206. 738
  3207. 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,886
  3208. You're so handy.
  3209.  
  3210. 739
  3211. 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:08,641
  3212. Alice.
  3213.  
  3214. 740
  3215. 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,802
  3216. Michelle is a really lucky girl.
  3217.  
  3218. 741
  3219. 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,728
  3220. I didn't expect for this to happen.
  3221.  
  3222. 742
  3223. 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:17,721
  3224. I just...
  3225.  
  3226. 743
  3227. 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:24,846
  3228. I stopped comparing everyone to you
  3229. and then I met someone pretty great.
  3230.  
  3231. 744
  3232. 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,050
  3233. I'm super happy for you.
  3234.  
  3235. 745
  3236. 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:30,446
  3237. Yeah, I can see that.
  3238.  
  3239. 746
  3240. 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:35,043
  3241. Alice. All right.
  3242.  
  3243. 747
  3244. 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,445
  3245. I'm gonna go.
  3246.  
  3247. 748
  3248. 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:38,641
  3249. Okay.
  3250.  
  3251. 749
  3252. 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,129
  3253. You need to move on.
  3254.  
  3255. 750
  3256. 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,481
  3257. Fine.
  3258.  
  3259. 751
  3260. 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:03,201
  3261. Uh, no going backwards, only forwards.
  3262. You can't sleep with Tom again.
  3263.  
  3264. 752
  3265. 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:07,169
  3266. Well, then, we're gonna have to start
  3267. going to a different bar, girlfriend.
  3268.  
  3269. 753
  3270. 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:11,245
  3271. No, you'll be fine,
  3272. just don't hit your drink number with him.
  3273.  
  3274. 754
  3275. 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,529
  3276. What's my drink number?
  3277.  
  3278. 755
  3279. 00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:17,644
  3280. In every male-female friendship,
  3281. there's a total number of drinks
  3282.  
  3283. 756
  3284. 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,371
  3285. and if you hit that,
  3286. it means you will definitely have sex.
  3287.  
  3288. 757
  3289. 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,449
  3290. So, how many drinks does it take
  3291. to get you wasted?
  3292.  
  3293. 758
  3294. 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:23,601
  3295. Two and a half
  3296.  
  3297. 759
  3298. 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,842
  3299. - but maybe three, if I've eaten.
  3300. - Three.
  3301.  
  3302. 760
  3303. 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,684
  3304. Okay, and Tom's is eight.
  3305.  
  3306. 761
  3307. 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,651
  3308. So, you can't hit eleven drinks
  3309. between the two of you.
  3310.  
  3311. 762
  3312. 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,723
  3313. - Okay.
  3314. - Not one for you, 10 for him.
  3315.  
  3316. 763
  3317. 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:35,049
  3318. Not six for him, five for you.
  3319.  
  3320. 764
  3321. 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,806
  3322. If I had more than five drinks,
  3323. I'd hook up with you.
  3324.  
  3325. 765
  3326. 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:39,530
  3327. My drink number is 27.
  3328.  
  3329. 766
  3330. 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:40,681
  3331. What?
  3332.  
  3333. 767
  3334. 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,121
  3335. I wouldn't even touch myself
  3336. on less than 24.
  3337.  
  3338. 768
  3339. 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,367
  3340. That's...
  3341.  
  3342. 769
  3343. 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,283
  3344. What are you doing? Stop.
  3345.  
  3346. 770
  3347. 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,169
  3348. - What is that?
  3349. - Stop.
  3350.  
  3351. 771
  3352. 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,087
  3353. Oh, my God.
  3354.  
  3355. 772
  3356. 00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:54,241
  3357. I thought that was gonna be boiling hot.
  3358.  
  3359. 773
  3360. 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:55,521
  3361. It's actually really cold.
  3362.  
  3363. 774
  3364. 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:56,721
  3365. You have LTRP.
  3366.  
  3367. 775
  3368. 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,042
  3369. - Oh, my God. I do?
  3370. - Yeah.
  3371.  
  3372. 776
  3373. 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,929
  3374. Tom gave it to me. For sure.
  3375.  
  3376. 777
  3377. 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:02,320
  3378. Wait. What's LTRP?
  3379.  
  3380. 778
  3381. 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:03,806
  3382. Long-Term Relationship Pussy.
  3383.  
  3384. 779
  3385. 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,689
  3386. You really need to get that taken care of.
  3387.  
  3388. 780
  3389. 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,729
  3390. What do you mean? I barely have any hair.
  3391.  
  3392. 781
  3393. 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,850
  3394. It's like you dropped your hairbrush
  3395. and your vagina caught it.
  3396.  
  3397. 782
  3398. 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,401
  3399. I could make dreadlocks with that bush
  3400. and form a reggae band.
  3401.  
  3402. 783
  3403. 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,041
  3404. That looks like a whole bowl
  3405. of petrified curly fries.
  3406.  
  3407. 784
  3408. 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,721
  3409. It's like Gandalf is staring right at me.
  3410.  
  3411. 785
  3412. 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,045
  3413. "No penis shall pass!"
  3414.  
  3415. 786
  3416. 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,407
  3417. You've ruined so many things for me.
  3418.  
  3419. 787
  3420. 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:43,961
  3421. Hi.
  3422.  
  3423. 788
  3424. 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,884
  3425. Hi. What are you here for?
  3426.  
  3427. 789
  3428. 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:51,048
  3429. Um, I am here to
  3430. finally put myself out there.
  3431.  
  3432. 790
  3433. 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,249
  3434. Like, in a real way. You know?
  3435.  
  3436. 791
  3437. 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,244
  3438. Not just physically,
  3439. but, like, emotionally.
  3440.  
  3441. 792
  3442. 00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:58,401
  3443. Yeah.
  3444.  
  3445. 793
  3446. 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,365
  3447. No, I was asking
  3448. what event are you here for?
  3449.  
  3450. 794
  3451. 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,051
  3452. Oh, um...
  3453.  
  3454. 795
  3455. 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:04,727
  3456. Oh, my God.
  3457.  
  3458. 796
  3459. 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,049
  3460. The Wesleyan Alumni Networking Event.
  3461.  
  3462. 797
  3463. 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,247
  3464. Cool.
  3465.  
  3466. 798
  3467. 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,161
  3468. Oh, I'm sorry.
  3469.  
  3470. 799
  3471. 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:21,407
  3472. Sorry, sorry.
  3473.  
  3474. 800
  3475. 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,444
  3476. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
  3477.  
  3478. 801
  3479. 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:24,641
  3480. Oh, my God, we're...
  3481.  
  3482. 802
  3483. 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,086
  3484. Hey. Get back over there,
  3485. you're screwing up the harmonies.
  3486.  
  3487. 803
  3488. 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:50,725
  3489. - I'm David Stone, nice to meet you.
  3490. - Hi.
  3491.  
  3492. 804
  3493. 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,046
  3494. Hey, I'm Alice.
  3495.  
  3496. 805
  3497. 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:53,361
  3498. Alice...
  3499.  
  3500. 806
  3501. 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:54,840
  3502. - Kepley.
  3503. - Kepley.
  3504.  
  3505. 807
  3506. 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,650
  3507. It's not as good as Stone.
  3508.  
  3509. 808
  3510. 00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:58,485
  3511. Do you want one of my business cards?
  3512.  
  3513. 809
  3514. 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,365
  3515. Or maybe 400 of them,
  3516. so you could tile your bathroom?
  3517.  
  3518. 810
  3519. 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:02,521
  3520. Well, what's on them?
  3521.  
  3522. 811
  3523. 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:07,486
  3524. Um, my Social Security Number,
  3525. my mom's maiden name, my ATM PIN.
  3526.  
  3527. 812
  3528. 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:08,641
  3529. That's what goes on these, right?
  3530.  
  3531. 813
  3532. 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,683
  3533. Absolutely, the essentials.
  3534.  
  3535. 814
  3536. 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,041
  3537. What do you do?
  3538.  
  3539. 815
  3540. 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:13,601
  3541. Um, I'm a paralegal.
  3542.  
  3543. 816
  3544. 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:14,761
  3545. Okay.
  3546.  
  3547. 817
  3548. 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,331
  3549. At Brown, Light and Finkelstein.
  3550.  
  3551. 818
  3552. 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,960
  3553. - Is that 144 Wall Street?
  3554. - Yeah.
  3555.  
  3556. 819
  3557. 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,565
  3558. Yeah, I have the building right next door.
  3559.  
  3560. 820
  3561. 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,171
  3562. You "have" the building?
  3563.  
  3564. 821
  3565. 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,846
  3566. Like, in a Fantasy Building League?
  3567.  
  3568. 822
  3569. 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,128
  3570. No. Um, I don't "have" the building,
  3571.  
  3572. 823
  3573. 00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:28,805
  3574. - I kind of own it.
  3575. - Oh.
  3576.  
  3577. 824
  3578. 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,331
  3579. There's no way to make that sound right.
  3580.  
  3581. 825
  3582. 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,323
  3583. I'm a developer, so, it's not just me.
  3584.  
  3585. 826
  3586. 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:33,845
  3587. It's like a group of people, but...
  3588.  
  3589. 827
  3590. 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,570
  3591. That's like a real-ass job, man.
  3592.  
  3593. 828
  3594. 00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:37,210
  3595. Yeah, I know, it's the worst.
  3596.  
  3597. 829
  3598. 00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:40,721
  3599. Oh, your team.
  3600.  
  3601. 830
  3602. 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:42,365
  3603. We really need to work on our repertoire.
  3604.  
  3605. 831
  3606. 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,648
  3607. - Are you kidding me? This is my jam!
  3608. - Is it?
  3609.  
  3610. 832
  3611. 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,646
  3612. Yeah, this is like my top 13th
  3613. favorite song of all time.
  3614.  
  3615. 833
  3616. 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:52,805
  3617. I'm sorry, it's my daughter.
  3618.  
  3619. 834
  3620. 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,405
  3621. Oh, yeah, no, totally. Me, too.
  3622.  
  3623. 835
  3624. 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,961
  3625. I mean, I'm a... I'm... A daughter.
  3626.  
  3627. 836
  3628. 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,690
  3629. It was great to meet you.
  3630.  
  3631. 837
  3632. 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,365
  3633. Bye. Yeah.
  3634.  
  3635. 838
  3636. 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:08,770
  3637. Okay, 30 more seconds.
  3638.  
  3639. 839
  3640. 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:10,641
  3641. Twenty-seven.
  3642.  
  3643. 840
  3644. 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,760
  3645. It said three to 10 minutes,
  3646. is that right?
  3647.  
  3648. 841
  3649. 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,851
  3650. I'm doing this in solidarity.
  3651.  
  3652. 842
  3653. 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,685
  3654. Guys. Mine's positive.
  3655.  
  3656. 843
  3657. 00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,171
  3658. - What?
  3659. - What?
  3660.  
  3661. 844
  3662. 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:22,881
  3663. Wait.
  3664.  
  3665. 845
  3666. 00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,521
  3667. I'm taking a drug test.
  3668. Is that what you guys are doing?
  3669.  
  3670. 846
  3671. 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,166
  3672. - No.
  3673. - No.
  3674.  
  3675. 847
  3676. 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:36,881
  3677. I'm...
  3678.  
  3679. 848
  3680. 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,201
  3681. You're pregnant.
  3682.  
  3683. 849
  3684. 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,441
  3685. I'm pregnant.
  3686.  
  3687. 850
  3688. 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,051
  3689. It's all right, don't worry.
  3690.  
  3691. 851
  3692. 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:42,646
  3693. We'll take care of it.
  3694.  
  3695. 852
  3696. 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,807
  3697. I mean, "Yes!"
  3698.  
  3699. 853
  3700. 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,405
  3701. You're pregnant!
  3702.  
  3703. 854
  3704. 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:49,491
  3705. We're pregnant!
  3706.  
  3707. 855
  3708. 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,880
  3709. I'm not pregnant!
  3710.  
  3711. 856
  3712. 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,605
  3713. I'm on drugs!
  3714.  
  3715. 857
  3716. 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,731
  3717. I found my peanut! This is Paul.
  3718.  
  3719. 858
  3720. 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:20,881
  3721. Hey.
  3722.  
  3723. 859
  3724. 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:22,166
  3725. He has so many teeth.
  3726.  
  3727. 860
  3728. 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,281
  3729. What up, office fools?
  3730. It's time for Secret Santa!
  3731.  
  3732. 861
  3733. 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:39,085
  3734. Who's ready to reach into my cleave
  3735. of wonders and win themselves a prize?
  3736.  
  3737. 862
  3738. 00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:41,686
  3739. Doris, I'm coming to you first, baby.
  3740.  
  3741. 863
  3742. 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,851
  3743. Whoa! It is a hole-puncher!
  3744.  
  3745. 864
  3746. 00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,206
  3747. You have won Kathy's credit card.
  3748.  
  3749. 865
  3750. 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:51,441
  3751. Let's go, dance circle!
  3752.  
  3753. 866
  3754. 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,211
  3755. Bridget, come on in here, you slut!
  3756.  
  3757. 867
  3758. 00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,129
  3759. How many sliders does it take
  3760. to equal a whole burger?
  3761.  
  3762. 868
  3763. 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:02,121
  3764. What?
  3765.  
  3766. 869
  3767. 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,365
  3768. How many little burgers
  3769. does it take to make a whole burger?
  3770.  
  3771. 870
  3772. 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,682
  3773. You're crazy.
  3774.  
  3775. 871
  3776. 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:08,966
  3777. Don't call me crazy.
  3778.  
  3779. 872
  3780. 00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,288
  3781. Don't ever call a pregnant woman crazy.
  3782.  
  3783. 873
  3784. 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:12,965
  3785. - Okay. All right.
  3786. - Not ever. Never.
  3787.  
  3788. 874
  3789. 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:14,161
  3790. Okay.
  3791.  
  3792. 875
  3793. 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,243
  3794. How many little meats
  3795. make up a whole big meat?
  3796.  
  3797. 876
  3798. 00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,329
  3799. I don't know, maybe four?
  3800.  
  3801. 877
  3802. 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:21,407
  3803. I've had seven.
  3804.  
  3805. 878
  3806. 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:22,891
  3807. Eight. I meant eight.
  3808.  
  3809. 879
  3810. 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,246
  3811. Is it four, or is it eight?
  3812.  
  3813. 880
  3814. 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,721
  3815. It's eight, or more. Everyone knows that.
  3816.  
  3817. 881
  3818. 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:27,881
  3819. Who told you that?
  3820.  
  3821. 882
  3822. 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,201
  3823. The slider guy.
  3824.  
  3825. 883
  3826. 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,323
  3827. Please blink, so I know you're in there.
  3828.  
  3829. 884
  3830. 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:35,286
  3831. - I'm sorry.
  3832. - God.
  3833.  
  3834. 885
  3835. 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,201
  3836. I just have blood pumping through my body
  3837. in an uncomfortable way
  3838.  
  3839. 886
  3840. 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,971
  3841. and it feels like
  3842. it's all accumulating right here.
  3843.  
  3844. 887
  3845. 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,327
  3846. Don't touch yourself like that
  3847. in my workplace.
  3848.  
  3849. 888
  3850. 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,482
  3851. - I need a man.
  3852. - A man?
  3853.  
  3854. 889
  3855. 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,483
  3856. I don't know...
  3857. I don't know what's happening.
  3858.  
  3859. 890
  3860. 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,085
  3861. It's, like, the hormones or something.
  3862.  
  3863. 891
  3864. 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,327
  3865. Actually...
  3866.  
  3867. 892
  3868. 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,926
  3869. The new guy
  3870. has sort of been checking you out.
  3871.  
  3872. 893
  3873. 00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:56,287
  3874. - Which one?
  3875. - He's...
  3876.  
  3877. 894
  3878. 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,041
  3879. - Did you get it?
  3880. - No.
  3881.  
  3882. 895
  3883. 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,009
  3884. All right. He's like...
  3885.  
  3886. 896
  3887. 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:07,205
  3888. Right over there.
  3889.  
  3890. 897
  3891. 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,644
  3892. - No. No.
  3893. - Why?
  3894.  
  3895. 898
  3896. 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,689
  3897. Because he's too young.
  3898.  
  3899. 899
  3900. 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:15,842
  3901. All young guys want to do
  3902. is have sex all day.
  3903.  
  3904. 900
  3905. 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:21,211
  3906. All I need is just a quick 10 minutes,
  3907. and then a really long nap.
  3908.  
  3909. 901
  3910. 00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:23,970
  3911. How old is that little niblet, anyway?
  3912.  
  3913. 902
  3914. 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,170
  3915. Like, twenty-seven?
  3916.  
  3917. 903
  3918. 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,250
  3919. The only reason a guy like that
  3920. would ever talk to me
  3921.  
  3922. 904
  3923. 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,289
  3924. is to get a prescription
  3925. for medical marijuana.
  3926.  
  3927. 905
  3928. 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:32,441
  3929. So, no.
  3930.  
  3931. 906
  3932. 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,762
  3933. I think he's coming over.
  3934. Yeah, he's totally wanting it.
  3935.  
  3936. 907
  3937. 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,445
  3938. Wait, he might be going to the food.
  3939.  
  3940. 908
  3941. 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,648
  3942. Don't look over there. No, he's coming.
  3943.  
  3944. 909
  3945. 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:40,601
  3946. He's here.
  3947.  
  3948. 910
  3949. 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:42,771
  3950. Just saw you looking at me over there.
  3951.  
  3952. 911
  3953. 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,804
  3954. I thought I'd come over, say "What's up."
  3955.  
  3956. 912
  3957. 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:47,247
  3958. - Hmm.
  3959. - Or...
  3960.  
  3961. 913
  3962. 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:50,726
  3963. Oh, my God, did I misread that?
  3964.  
  3965. 914
  3966. 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,848
  3967. Were you not...
  3968. Were you just talking about...
  3969.  
  3970. 915
  3971. 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,923
  3972. Um, did you not want me to come over?
  3973.  
  3974. 916
  3975. 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:00,366
  3976. Hey, I'm Ken.
  3977.  
  3978. 917
  3979. 00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,321
  3980. - Hmm.
  3981. - You must be Alice's sister.
  3982.  
  3983. 918
  3984. 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:04,561
  3985. - Do you want a drink?
  3986. - No.
  3987.  
  3988. 919
  3989. 00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:08,281
  3990. - Can I get you...
  3991. - I had a lot of drinks earlier today.
  3992.  
  3993. 920
  3994. 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,724
  3995. Have you heard anything
  3996. about an after-party?
  3997.  
  3998. 921
  3999. 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,201
  4000. Or even, like, another part of this party?
  4001.  
  4002. 922
  4003. 00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,206
  4004. Because this feels like
  4005. a longer day at work, than...
  4006.  
  4007. 923
  4008. 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:19,921
  4009. Oh, my God, am I boring you?
  4010.  
  4011. 924
  4012. 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:21,804
  4013. Is that... Are you trying not to yawn?
  4014.  
  4015. 925
  4016. 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,804
  4017. - Mmm-mmm.
  4018. - That's just your face?
  4019.  
  4020. 926
  4021. 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,402
  4022. No, I'm sorry.
  4023. I'm a doctor, and I'm just really tired.
  4024.  
  4025. 927
  4026. 00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,005
  4027. What is it you were saying you do?
  4028.  
  4029. 928
  4030. 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,923
  4031. I wasn't, but I work here, for now.
  4032.  
  4033. 929
  4034. 00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,161
  4035. But, um...
  4036.  
  4037. 930
  4038. 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:37,211
  4039. Oh, my God, are you having a stroke?
  4040.  
  4041. 931
  4042. 00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:38,771
  4043. Seriously, this is the honeymoon.
  4044.  
  4045. 932
  4046. 00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:40,365
  4047. Like, we just met 30 seconds ago.
  4048.  
  4049. 933
  4050. 00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:42,803
  4051. Honestly, like, if we're not
  4052. gonna make it through this,
  4053.  
  4054. 934
  4055. 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,610
  4056. I don't think we're gonna make it at all.
  4057.  
  4058. 935
  4059. 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,967
  4060. So, why don't you just, like, let her rip?
  4061.  
  4062. 936
  4063. 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,849
  4064. - Okay.
  4065. - Like, let it all out.
  4066.  
  4067. 937
  4068. 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:51,411
  4069. Yeah.
  4070.  
  4071. 938
  4072. 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:53,529
  4073. How awesome was that?
  4074.  
  4075. 939
  4076. 00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:54,761
  4077. That feels so good.
  4078.  
  4079. 940
  4080. 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,524
  4081. Right?
  4082.  
  4083. 941
  4084. 00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,411
  4085. Who are you, again?
  4086.  
  4087. 942
  4088. 00:48:58,800 --> 00:48:59,847
  4089. I'm, uh, Ken.
  4090.  
  4091. 943
  4092. 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,644
  4093. And what's going on here?
  4094.  
  4095. 944
  4096. 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:02,841
  4097. - Is this...
  4098. - I don't...
  4099.  
  4100. 945
  4101. 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,724
  4102. Is this one of those fetish things?
  4103.  
  4104. 946
  4105. 00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,003
  4106. Where you're, like, a foot fetish.
  4107. Am I the foot?
  4108.  
  4109. 947
  4110. 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,482
  4111. Do you want to be the foot?
  4112.  
  4113. 948
  4114. 00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:14,247
  4115. I'm not into feet,
  4116. but I would like to go out with you.
  4117.  
  4118. 949
  4119. 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,447
  4120. Oh.
  4121.  
  4122. 950
  4123. 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:16,806
  4124. - Yes.
  4125. - Why?
  4126.  
  4127. 951
  4128. 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,243
  4129. Really? I... Do you not want me to?
  4130.  
  4131. 952
  4132. 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,528
  4133. I do! I... That's not what I was saying.
  4134.  
  4135. 953
  4136. 00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:22,886
  4137. No, I was just wondering why.
  4138.  
  4139. 954
  4140. 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:24,929
  4141. Because I think you're hot.
  4142.  
  4143. 955
  4144. 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,048
  4145. And I think you're funny.
  4146.  
  4147. 956
  4148. 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:29,641
  4149. And I like the face you make
  4150. when you're trying not to yawn.
  4151.  
  4152. 957
  4153. 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,121
  4154. And then you have an awesome yawn
  4155. after that, so...
  4156.  
  4157. 958
  4158. 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,368
  4159. I mean, that's always something
  4160. I've looked for in a girl.
  4161.  
  4162. 959
  4163. 00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:35,601
  4164. I don't know.
  4165.  
  4166. 960
  4167. 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:37,081
  4168. But, cheers.
  4169.  
  4170. 961
  4171. 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,404
  4172. Holy shit, that's a candle.
  4173.  
  4174. 962
  4175. 00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,122
  4176. So, do you wanna just go do this, then?
  4177.  
  4178. 963
  4179. 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:57,085
  4180. I don't want anything serious.
  4181.  
  4182. 964
  4183. 00:49:57,240 --> 00:49:59,163
  4184. Good, because I'm saving
  4185. myself for marriage.
  4186.  
  4187. 965
  4188. 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,204
  4189. I'm just kidding.
  4190.  
  4191. 966
  4192. 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,848
  4193. My God, your body is awesome!
  4194.  
  4195. 967
  4196. 00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:06,571
  4197. Do I smell like hamburgers?
  4198.  
  4199. 968
  4200. 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,609
  4201. You taste like hamburgers.
  4202.  
  4203. 969
  4204. 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:12,166
  4205. That's totally beautiful.
  4206.  
  4207. 970
  4208. 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,448
  4209. You didn't really have to come
  4210. all the way here with me, you know?
  4211.  
  4212. 971
  4213. 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,807
  4214. And miss a subway ride with you?
  4215.  
  4216. 972
  4217. 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:22,769
  4218. That's like 20 extra minutes of Paul time.
  4219.  
  4220. 973
  4221. 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,649
  4222. Aw. Thank you. Yeah.
  4223.  
  4224. 974
  4225. 00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,484
  4226. Actually, I got you something.
  4227.  
  4228. 975
  4229. 00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:27,641
  4230. Oh, okay.
  4231.  
  4232. 976
  4233. 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,882
  4234. I have a sandwich for the train ride.
  4235.  
  4236. 977
  4237. 00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:31,405
  4238. Oh, thank you.
  4239.  
  4240. 978
  4241. 00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,450
  4242. And there's a bagel in there, too,
  4243. in case you don't want the sandwich.
  4244.  
  4245. 979
  4246. 00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,080
  4247. It's a 45-minute train ride,
  4248. but thank you.
  4249.  
  4250. 980
  4251. 00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:38,881
  4252. - And there's this.
  4253. - What?
  4254.  
  4255. 981
  4256. 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:40,041
  4257. Merry Christmas.
  4258.  
  4259. 982
  4260. 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,531
  4261. You shouldn't have.
  4262.  
  4263. 983
  4264. 00:50:41,720 --> 00:50:43,484
  4265. - Really, it's just a little thing that...
  4266. - Oh.
  4267.  
  4268. 984
  4269. 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,523
  4270. Open it now, yeah.
  4271.  
  4272. 985
  4273. 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,928
  4274. Whoa! These are pictures of us.
  4275.  
  4276. 986
  4277. 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,401
  4278. It's memories of all our time together.
  4279.  
  4280. 987
  4281. 00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:55,002
  4282. Yeah, there's three weeks
  4283. of photos. That's...
  4284.  
  4285. 988
  4286. 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,924
  4287. And then we can fill in the rest.
  4288.  
  4289. 989
  4290. 00:50:58,320 --> 00:50:59,810
  4291. Oh. So...
  4292.  
  4293. 990
  4294. 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:04,330
  4295. Look, Lucy, I really care about you.
  4296.  
  4297. 991
  4298. 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,804
  4299. And I just don't know if we want to think
  4300.  
  4301. 992
  4302. 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,604
  4303. too much in the long term,
  4304.  
  4305. 993
  4306. 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,650
  4307. only because I don't know
  4308. if I see a future with you.
  4309.  
  4310. 994
  4311. 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:16,204
  4312. Normally, I break up with people
  4313. before the holidays.
  4314.  
  4315. 995
  4316. 00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,488
  4317. Just so, you know,
  4318. they don't get the wrong idea.
  4319.  
  4320. 996
  4321. 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,007
  4322. But I just thought,
  4323. since we're dating other people...
  4324.  
  4325. 997
  4326. 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,289
  4327. I would just wait and break up with you
  4328. on Martin Luther King Day.
  4329.  
  4330. 998
  4331. 00:51:25,240 --> 00:51:27,641
  4332. Okay, I have no idea what that means,
  4333. but it sounds vaguely racist.
  4334.  
  4335. 999
  4336. 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,802
  4337. Just, statistically,
  4338. it's the easiest holiday
  4339.  
  4340. 1000
  4341. 00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:31,530
  4342. to break up with someone on, you know?
  4343.  
  4344. 1001
  4345. 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:35,571
  4346. I mean, there's no family obligations,
  4347. you can get out before Valentine's Day.
  4348.  
  4349. 1002
  4350. 00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:38,690
  4351. I'm sorry, did you just say
  4352. you're seeing other people?
  4353.  
  4354. 1003
  4355. 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:39,927
  4356. Yeah.
  4357.  
  4358. 1004
  4359. 00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,327
  4360. I mean, isn't that the whole
  4361. point of online dating?
  4362.  
  4363. 1005
  4364. 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:43,841
  4365. No.
  4366.  
  4367. 1006
  4368. 00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,361
  4369. It's to find your soul mate!
  4370.  
  4371. 1007
  4372. 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:53,049
  4373. I, uh, think maybe we should
  4374. only see other people.
  4375.  
  4376. 1008
  4377. 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:55,849
  4378. Okay. Great talk.
  4379.  
  4380. 1009
  4381. 00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:58,641
  4382. Bye.
  4383.  
  4384. 1010
  4385. 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:01,487
  4386. Just...
  4387.  
  4388. 1011
  4389. 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,683
  4390. Uh, merry Christmas.
  4391.  
  4392. 1012
  4393. 00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:11,724
  4394. "'We're safe!' said Paul,
  4395. as they ran from the dragon."
  4396.  
  4397. 1013
  4398. 00:52:12,240 --> 00:52:13,571
  4399. Um, who's Paul?
  4400.  
  4401. 1014
  4402. 00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:16,967
  4403. Sorry, "the Prince."
  4404.  
  4405. 1015
  4406. 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:22,931
  4407. "Then, he leaned in to kiss her,
  4408. and finally said..."
  4409.  
  4410. 1016
  4411. 00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:29,091
  4412. Oh, that's rich.
  4413.  
  4414. 1017
  4415. 00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:30,446
  4416. How does the story end?
  4417.  
  4418. 1018
  4419. 00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:32,085
  4420. I'll tell you how it ends.
  4421.  
  4422. 1019
  4423. 00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,921
  4424. He kisses her, and she wakes up
  4425.  
  4426. 1020
  4427. 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,401
  4428. and finally feels loved
  4429.  
  4430. 1021
  4431. 00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,048
  4432. and understood, and wanted.
  4433.  
  4434. 1022
  4435. 00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,284
  4436. But then, her friend sees him
  4437. dining with the peach lady
  4438.  
  4439. 1023
  4440. 00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,250
  4441. and before she knows it,
  4442. she's kicked out of the castle.
  4443.  
  4444. 1024
  4445. 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,684
  4446. "The peach lady"?
  4447.  
  4448. 1025
  4449. 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,444
  4450. You bet your sweet ass "the peach lady."
  4451.  
  4452. 1026
  4453. 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:55,402
  4454. And now, you know,
  4455. she's fixating on all her mistakes
  4456.  
  4457. 1027
  4458. 00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,689
  4459. and all the money she spent on makeup
  4460.  
  4461. 1028
  4462. 00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,810
  4463. and blow-outs, and the heels!
  4464.  
  4465. 1029
  4466. 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,361
  4467. The heels! Walking around on these.
  4468.  
  4469. 1030
  4470. 00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,325
  4471. And I'm not supposed
  4472. to have any hair here.
  4473.  
  4474. 1031
  4475. 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,131
  4476. No hair here, but tons of it here.
  4477.  
  4478. 1032
  4479. 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,009
  4480. I'm supposed to have a ton,
  4481. a ton of it here.
  4482.  
  4483. 1033
  4484. 00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,446
  4485. You think this is all real?
  4486.  
  4487. 1034
  4488. 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,443
  4489. - You think that it's all real?
  4490. - No.
  4491.  
  4492. 1035
  4493. 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:16,761
  4494. And Spanx!
  4495.  
  4496. 1036
  4497. 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,930
  4498. Girls. Never wear Spanx.
  4499.  
  4500. 1037
  4501. 00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:21,605
  4502. Because the endgame
  4503. is to take them off, anyway
  4504.  
  4505. 1038
  4506. 00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,406
  4507. and then the prince
  4508. is gonna see all your dumplings
  4509.  
  4510. 1039
  4511. 00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,850
  4512. and there ain't nothing less attractive
  4513. than trying to squiggle your way
  4514.  
  4515. 1040
  4516. 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,651
  4517. out of what's basically sausage casing.
  4518.  
  4519. 1041
  4520. 00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:31,881
  4521. Look at these links!
  4522.  
  4523. 1042
  4524. 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,203
  4525. You know what, why don't we push pause
  4526. on story time for just a second, huh?
  4527.  
  4528. 1043
  4529. 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:36,646
  4530. Okay, you know what? Sorry.
  4531.  
  4532. 1044
  4533. 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,245
  4534. - Are you kidding me?
  4535. - Hey, hey. Okay.
  4536.  
  4537. 1045
  4538. 00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:39,771
  4539. - These are kid scissors.
  4540. - They don't work.
  4541.  
  4542. 1046
  4543. 00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,968
  4544. If your Spanx were made
  4545. of construction paper, they would.
  4546.  
  4547. 1047
  4548. 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,203
  4549. And that's how the story ends.
  4550.  
  4551. 1048
  4552. 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,486
  4553. Parents, I'm gonna ask you to sign something
  4554. before you leave, if you don't mind.
  4555.  
  4556. 1049
  4557. 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:49,641
  4558. Story time next week.
  4559.  
  4560. 1050
  4561. 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,246
  4562. Same time, same place, different reader.
  4563.  
  4564. 1051
  4565. 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:53,606
  4566. Thank you. Okay, now.
  4567.  
  4568. 1052
  4569. 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,125
  4570. Hey, you. Hey. How are you?
  4571.  
  4572. 1053
  4573. 00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,487
  4574. Look at me. Hi. Hello. Hi.
  4575.  
  4576. 1054
  4577. 00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,445
  4578. Oh, that was terrible.
  4579.  
  4580. 1055
  4581. 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,285
  4582. You scared all the kids,
  4583. terrified a lot of parents.
  4584.  
  4585. 1056
  4586. 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:06,009
  4587. But it was also kind of awesome.
  4588.  
  4589. 1057
  4590. 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,490
  4591. I'm George.
  4592.  
  4593. 1058
  4594. 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,041
  4595. Lucy.
  4596.  
  4597. 1059
  4598. 00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:17,761
  4599. - Hey.
  4600. - Hi.
  4601.  
  4602. 1060
  4603. 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:19,644
  4604. - Hey.
  4605. - Hey!
  4606.  
  4607. 1061
  4608. 00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:21,131
  4609. Hey! Oh, thank you.
  4610.  
  4611. 1062
  4612. 00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:22,481
  4613. - For you.
  4614. - I'll take that.
  4615.  
  4616. 1063
  4617. 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,130
  4618. - Oh, no.
  4619. - That's Robin's.
  4620.  
  4621. 1064
  4622. 00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,561
  4623. Yeah. I like to keep this on my own rack.
  4624.  
  4625. 1065
  4626. 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:28,360
  4627. Sorry, we're late.
  4628.  
  4629. 1066
  4630. 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,522
  4631. No, it's okay.
  4632. I'm glad you guys could come.
  4633.  
  4634. 1067
  4635. 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:34,241
  4636. I know it's tough to be single
  4637. around this time of year, so...
  4638.  
  4639. 1068
  4640. 00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:35,880
  4641. Why do people always say that?
  4642.  
  4643. 1069
  4644. 00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,242
  4645. The holidays is the best time
  4646. to be single.
  4647.  
  4648. 1070
  4649. 00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,881
  4650. Parties every night, free-flowing booze.
  4651.  
  4652. 1071
  4653. 00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,486
  4654. Santa's beard tickling your inner thigh.
  4655.  
  4656. 1072
  4657. 00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:45,051
  4658. - What?
  4659. - Night.
  4660.  
  4661. 1073
  4662. 00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:46,770
  4663. Yeah, take your jacket...
  4664.  
  4665. 1074
  4666. 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,046
  4667. Here, you want me to get your...
  4668.  
  4669. 1075
  4670. 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,201
  4671. Thanks for having us.
  4672.  
  4673. 1076
  4674. 00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,921
  4675. Yeah, sure.
  4676. I know it's been tough for you.
  4677.  
  4678. 1077
  4679. 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:54,770
  4680. - For me?
  4681. - Yeah.
  4682.  
  4683. 1078
  4684. 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,331
  4685. No, I'm good.
  4686.  
  4687. 1079
  4688. 00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,043
  4689. It's really cool of your girlfriend
  4690. to be okay with me coming tonight.
  4691.  
  4692. 1080
  4693. 00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,202
  4694. Yeah. Yeah, I know, she's really mature.
  4695.  
  4696. 1081
  4697. 00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,444
  4698. And, um, also, I told her
  4699. you're my cousin.
  4700.  
  4701. 1082
  4702. 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:07,728
  4703. - Hi, baby.
  4704. - Hey. Hi.
  4705.  
  4706. 1083
  4707. 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,087
  4708. Oh, you must be Alice.
  4709.  
  4710. 1084
  4711. 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,044
  4712. - Hi!
  4713. - Hi.
  4714.  
  4715. 1085
  4716. 00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:19,721
  4717. Oh, Meg!
  4718.  
  4719. 1086
  4720. 00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,081
  4721. - Hi.
  4722. - Hey.
  4723.  
  4724. 1087
  4725. 00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:22,480
  4726. Hi, what are you doing here?
  4727.  
  4728. 1088
  4729. 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:23,641
  4730. I brought you hot chocolate.
  4731.  
  4732. 1089
  4733. 00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,922
  4734. - For what?
  4735. - For drinking.
  4736.  
  4737. 1090
  4738. 00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:27,844
  4739. Oh, I have to be back
  4740. at work in eight minutes.
  4741.  
  4742. 1091
  4743. 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,047
  4744. Perfect.
  4745.  
  4746. 1092
  4747. 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,406
  4748. - Oh, thank you.
  4749. - Sure.
  4750.  
  4751. 1093
  4752. 00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:32,289
  4753. That was nice. Hi.
  4754.  
  4755. 1094
  4756. 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:34,121
  4757. It's good to see you. You look good.
  4758.  
  4759. 1095
  4760. 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,691
  4761. Oh, oh, there's bourbon in there.
  4762.  
  4763. 1096
  4764. 00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:37,001
  4765. Also, was that a real-life spit take?
  4766.  
  4767. 1097
  4768. 00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,162
  4769. - Mmm-hmm.
  4770. - I've never seen one in real life.
  4771.  
  4772. 1098
  4773. 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:40,845
  4774. I just sort of thought it would be like...
  4775.  
  4776. 1099
  4777. 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:44,566
  4778. - Wow!
  4779. - You know?
  4780.  
  4781. 1100
  4782. 00:55:44,720 --> 00:55:45,721
  4783. Yeah.
  4784.  
  4785. 1101
  4786. 00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:47,406
  4787. That was good, yeah.
  4788.  
  4789. 1102
  4790. 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:51,360
  4791. I can't drink alcohol right now
  4792. because I'm about to deliver a baby.
  4793.  
  4794. 1103
  4795. 00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,450
  4796. It's so cool you're a doctor.
  4797.  
  4798. 1104
  4799. 00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,761
  4800. - It's so cool that you're...
  4801. - A receptionist.
  4802.  
  4803. 1105
  4804. 00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:01,404
  4805. Oh, okay. So, what's the male
  4806. version of a receptionist?
  4807.  
  4808. 1106
  4809. 00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:03,244
  4810. - Receptionist.
  4811. - Oh.
  4812.  
  4813. 1107
  4814. 00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:04,971
  4815. I just love the thrill of it, you know?
  4816.  
  4817. 1108
  4818. 00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,885
  4819. Like, "Hello? Hold, please.
  4820. Hello? I'll see if she's available."
  4821.  
  4822. 1109
  4823. 00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,849
  4824. But I'm thinking about quitting.
  4825. I don't know.
  4826.  
  4827. 1110
  4828. 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,367
  4829. It's starting to feel
  4830. like the restaurant I worked at.
  4831.  
  4832. 1111
  4833. 00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:16,605
  4834. Oh, shit. Christmas trees.
  4835.  
  4836. 1112
  4837. 00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,161
  4838. Come on, we'll get one.
  4839.  
  4840. 1113
  4841. 00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,164
  4842. Okay. I mean,
  4843. I don't get Christmas trees, but...
  4844.  
  4845. 1114
  4846. 00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:22,321
  4847. Oh, are you Jewish?
  4848.  
  4849. 1115
  4850. 00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,249
  4851. No, I just don't get Christmas trees.
  4852.  
  4853. 1116
  4854. 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:25,851
  4855. Oh, so, you're a monster.
  4856.  
  4857. 1117
  4858. 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,129
  4859. No, I'm just never home,
  4860. and I would definitely kill it.
  4861.  
  4862. 1118
  4863. 00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:30,367
  4864. No.
  4865.  
  4866. 1119
  4867. 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:34,445
  4868. And then those needles fall into the rug
  4869. and stab your feet when you walk on them.
  4870.  
  4871. 1120
  4872. 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:35,601
  4873. Okay.
  4874.  
  4875. 1121
  4876. 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,128
  4877. All right. Look at this guy, right?
  4878.  
  4879. 1122
  4880. 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,164
  4881. That's the John McClane
  4882. of Christmas trees.
  4883.  
  4884. 1123
  4885. 00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:42,004
  4886. Like, you cannot kill this guy.
  4887.  
  4888. 1124
  4889. 00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,049
  4890. We load him up with a bunch of water,
  4891.  
  4892. 1125
  4893. 00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,771
  4894. stuff one of those self-pouring
  4895. cat bottles on the side
  4896.  
  4897. 1126
  4898. 00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:48,291
  4899. you're good to go for, like, three weeks.
  4900.  
  4901. 1127
  4902. 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,044
  4903. I'm telling you,
  4904. you're gonna be begging this guy to die.
  4905.  
  4906. 1128
  4907. 00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,486
  4908. - Yeah.
  4909. - Then, in three weeks
  4910.  
  4911. 1129
  4912. 00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,322
  4913. we throw this guy out on the street,
  4914. and get ready for Valentine's Day.
  4915.  
  4916. 1130
  4917. 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:56,851
  4918. "We" get ready for Valentine's Day?
  4919.  
  4920. 1131
  4921. 00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,162
  4922. - Yeah, hearts, candy, you name it.
  4923. - Oh.
  4924.  
  4925. 1132
  4926. 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,800
  4927. No, no, no, no. That's not...
  4928.  
  4929. 1133
  4930. 00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,560
  4931. Listen, in three weeks from now...
  4932.  
  4933. 1134
  4934. 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,088
  4935. I think the novelty of this whole thing
  4936. will have worn off
  4937.  
  4938. 1135
  4939. 00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:10,766
  4940. and I think, the reality will set in,
  4941.  
  4942. 1136
  4943. 00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:14,447
  4944. which is that I work all the time
  4945. and I probably would never see you,
  4946.  
  4947. 1137
  4948. 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:17,570
  4949. and I'd probably
  4950. have to cancel all of our dates.
  4951.  
  4952. 1138
  4953. 00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:22,369
  4954. And, when I did finally see you, I would
  4955. probably just fall asleep on your face.
  4956.  
  4957. 1139
  4958. 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:23,561
  4959. - Oh...
  4960. - Yeah, and then,
  4961.  
  4962. 1140
  4963. 00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,808
  4964. you would go off,
  4965. and meet some girl at the gym.
  4966.  
  4967. 1141
  4968. 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,651
  4969. Because you obviously have
  4970. a lot of time to spend at the gym
  4971.  
  4972. 1142
  4973. 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:31,963
  4974. and so would she, and I don't even know
  4975. why we're having this conversation.
  4976.  
  4977. 1143
  4978. 00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:33,963
  4979. I mean, you are obviously not a real thing
  4980.  
  4981. 1144
  4982. 00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,851
  4983. and I feel like we're wasting air
  4984. even talking about it.
  4985.  
  4986. 1145
  4987. 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,162
  4988. And I have hip problems,
  4989. real hip problems.
  4990.  
  4991. 1146
  4992. 00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,848
  4993. And not from doing fun things,
  4994. like having sex, but from gravity.
  4995.  
  4996. 1147
  4997. 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:45,729
  4998. And what we had was great.
  4999.  
  5000. 1148
  5001. 00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,521
  5002. Thank you for helping me out with that.
  5003.  
  5004. 1149
  5005. 00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:50,681
  5006. That was fun.
  5007.  
  5008. 1150
  5009. 00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,885
  5010. But you will find a girl your own age
  5011.  
  5012. 1151
  5013. 00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:57,044
  5014. and then you can do fun things
  5015. like look for trees and whatever.
  5016.  
  5017. 1152
  5018. 00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,244
  5019. But that's not what's happening here,
  5020. between you and me, so...
  5021.  
  5022. 1153
  5023. 00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,526
  5024. Just so you know.
  5025.  
  5026. 1154
  5027. 00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,091
  5028. I have to get back to work now.
  5029.  
  5030. 1155
  5031. 00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:06,721
  5032. My God.
  5033.  
  5034. 1156
  5035. 00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:08,968
  5036. Fine, we won't get a Christmas tree!
  5037.  
  5038. 1157
  5039. 00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:35,481
  5040. Hey, Robin.
  5041.  
  5042. 1158
  5043. 00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:36,841
  5044. Yeah.
  5045.  
  5046. 1159
  5047. 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:40,641
  5048. Yes?
  5049.  
  5050. 1160
  5051. 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:42,968
  5052. Do you want to go see
  5053. the Rockefeller tree?
  5054.  
  5055. 1161
  5056. 00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,400
  5057. - Right now?
  5058. - Yeah.
  5059.  
  5060. 1162
  5061. 00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:47,803
  5062. No, Buzz-Cut and Dimples
  5063. are visiting from Italy
  5064.  
  5065. 1163
  5066. 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,082
  5067. and they want to know all about
  5068. American Christmas traditions
  5069.  
  5070. 1164
  5071. 00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:51,924
  5072. like us sitting on their faces.
  5073.  
  5074. 1165
  5075. 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,847
  5076. - No. No.
  5077. - Come on, it's Christmas!
  5078.  
  5079. 1166
  5080. 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:57,002
  5081. I'm not gonna do that tonight.
  5082.  
  5083. 1167
  5084. 00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,242
  5085. Why? Their dicks
  5086. probably look like cannolis.
  5087.  
  5088. 1168
  5089. 00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:02,125
  5090. No, it's okay. I'll call you tomorrow.
  5091.  
  5092. 1169
  5093. 00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,167
  5094. It's plastic. You can't kill it.
  5095.  
  5096. 1170
  5097. 00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:46,161
  5098. Hey.
  5099.  
  5100. 1171
  5101. 00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:48,081
  5102. Hey.
  5103.  
  5104. 1172
  5105. 00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:50,850
  5106. I feel like I know you.
  5107.  
  5108. 1173
  5109. 00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,729
  5110. God, I wish I had
  5111. one of your business cards,
  5112.  
  5113. 1174
  5114. 00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,006
  5115. so I could remember who you are.
  5116.  
  5117. 1175
  5118. 00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:00,926
  5119. Yeah, you're the, um, fancy, married guy,
  5120. with the kid and the buildings.
  5121.  
  5122. 1176
  5123. 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:03,761
  5124. Uh... I'm not married.
  5125.  
  5126. 1177
  5127. 01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:05,610
  5128. Um, I do have a daughter.
  5129.  
  5130. 1178
  5131. 01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:06,841
  5132. Oh.
  5133.  
  5134. 1179
  5135. 01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:08,567
  5136. - And I'm fancy.
  5137. - Yeah.
  5138.  
  5139. 1180
  5140. 01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,684
  5141. You're wearing a scarf
  5142. on the outside of your jacket.
  5143.  
  5144. 1181
  5145. 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:13,569
  5146. Which... That serves zero purpose.
  5147.  
  5148. 1182
  5149. 01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,041
  5150. Um...
  5151.  
  5152. 1183
  5153. 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:23,329
  5154. This is super random, but do you want
  5155. to go see the Rockefeller tree with me?
  5156.  
  5157. 1184
  5158. 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,206
  5159. No? That's a big "no."
  5160.  
  5161. 1185
  5162. 01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:27,361
  5163. No, no.
  5164.  
  5165. 1186
  5166. 01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:29,563
  5167. I know it's probably like so crowded
  5168. with so many tourists,
  5169.  
  5170. 1187
  5171. 01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:30,846
  5172. I don't know why I even want to do that.
  5173.  
  5174. 1188
  5175. 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:34,163
  5176. I just... I was just thinking,
  5177. I want to show you something.
  5178.  
  5179. 1189
  5180. 01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:36,801
  5181. Okay.
  5182.  
  5183. 1190
  5184. 01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:41,282
  5185. All right. This door.
  5186.  
  5187. 1191
  5188. 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,201
  5189. Aye.
  5190.  
  5191. 1192
  5192. 01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,164
  5193. You know what? I am just realizing now
  5194. that I've gone with a complete stranger,
  5195.  
  5196. 1193
  5197. 01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:52,609
  5198. to an abandoned location
  5199. covered in plastic...
  5200.  
  5201. 1194
  5202. 01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:55,804
  5203. So, if you're gonna Dexter me...
  5204.  
  5205. 1195
  5206. 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,081
  5207. You know what? Honestly?
  5208.  
  5209. 1196
  5210. 01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,891
  5211. Dying would not be the worst
  5212. thing in the world, right now.
  5213.  
  5214. 1197
  5215. 01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:01,485
  5216. - What is happening?
  5217. - All right. Close your eyes.
  5218.  
  5219. 1198
  5220. 01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,688
  5221. Okay. Here we go. Bye!
  5222.  
  5223. 1199
  5224. 01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:07,810
  5225. - What is that sound?
  5226. - Just one second.
  5227.  
  5228. 1200
  5229. 01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:09,724
  5230. The world's largest shower curtain?
  5231.  
  5232. 1201
  5233. 01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:11,611
  5234. What is it? What's happening?
  5235.  
  5236. 1202
  5237. 01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:12,966
  5238. One sec.
  5239.  
  5240. 1203
  5241. 01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:14,526
  5242. Is that the body bag?
  5243.  
  5244. 1204
  5245. 01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:15,681
  5246. Is that duct tape?
  5247.  
  5248. 1205
  5249. 01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,611
  5250. Is it "duck" tape or is it "duct" tape?
  5251.  
  5252. 1206
  5253. 01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:20,481
  5254. Open your eyes.
  5255.  
  5256. 1207
  5257. 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:35,565
  5258. Oh, my God.
  5259.  
  5260. 1208
  5261. 01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:39,163
  5262. This is amazing.
  5263.  
  5264. 1209
  5265. 01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:45,686
  5266. Thank you.
  5267.  
  5268. 1210
  5269. 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:47,771
  5270. I've always wanted to see this.
  5271.  
  5272. 1211
  5273. 01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:48,921
  5274. Yeah.
  5275.  
  5276. 1212
  5277. 01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:52,210
  5278. I don't know why I always talk myself out
  5279. of doing the things I really want to do.
  5280.  
  5281. 1213
  5282. 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:53,361
  5283. Like what?
  5284.  
  5285. 1214
  5286. 01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:56,081
  5287. There's this thing
  5288. that people do on New Year's,
  5289.  
  5290. 1215
  5291. 01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:58,971
  5292. where they hike
  5293. the Grand Canyon in the dark,
  5294.  
  5295. 1216
  5296. 01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:02,329
  5297. so that they can watch the New Year
  5298. come in with the dawn.
  5299.  
  5300. 1217
  5301. 01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:04,448
  5302. That sounds amazing.
  5303.  
  5304. 1218
  5305. 01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:05,931
  5306. - I know.
  5307. - Yeah.
  5308.  
  5309. 1219
  5310. 01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:07,287
  5311. I'm just not a hiker.
  5312.  
  5313. 1220
  5314. 01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:11,845
  5315. I don't like that stuff that's on
  5316. the ground, that, like, gets on you.
  5317.  
  5318. 1221
  5319. 01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:13,451
  5320. - The dirt?
  5321. - Yes.
  5322.  
  5323. 1222
  5324. 01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:18,410
  5325. But, um, I don't know.
  5326.  
  5327. 1223
  5328. 01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:23,490
  5329. Maybe we can, um, do
  5330. something else this year.
  5331.  
  5332. 1224
  5333. 01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:25,804
  5334. - "We"?
  5335. - Did I say "we"?
  5336.  
  5337. 1225
  5338. 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:39,604
  5339. This one's name is Ping-Ping.
  5340.  
  5341. 1226
  5342. 01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:40,886
  5343. Ping-Ping?
  5344.  
  5345. 1227
  5346. 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,041
  5347. It's nice to meet you.
  5348.  
  5349. 1228
  5350. 01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:44,282
  5351. - Who's this guy?
  5352. - Lion.
  5353.  
  5354. 1229
  5355. 01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:47,967
  5356. Lion is very handsome and,
  5357. also, we seem to be matching.
  5358.  
  5359. 1230
  5360. 01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:49,207
  5361. Well, what about this guy?
  5362.  
  5363. 1231
  5364. 01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:50,407
  5365. Zebra-Zebra.
  5366.  
  5367. 1232
  5368. 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,763
  5369. Hmm. I was told never to
  5370. trust a man with two first names.
  5371.  
  5372. 1233
  5373. 01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,806
  5374. What about, do you want to tell me
  5375. the names of these ones?
  5376.  
  5377. 1234
  5378. 01:02:58,240 --> 01:02:59,526
  5379. This is LA. I'll be two seconds.
  5380.  
  5381. 1235
  5382. 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:01,250
  5383. Okay, we're fine.
  5384.  
  5385. 1236
  5386. 01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:04,048
  5387. Do you know the Eyes of You song?
  5388.  
  5389. 1237
  5390. 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:05,406
  5391. The what song?
  5392.  
  5393. 1238
  5394. 01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:07,085
  5395. Eyes of You song.
  5396.  
  5397. 1239
  5398. 01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:08,924
  5399. No, I don't know what that is.
  5400.  
  5401. 1240
  5402. 01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,410
  5403. Oh, I know that song.
  5404.  
  5405. 1241
  5406. 01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:26,006
  5407. What are you doing?
  5408.  
  5409. 1242
  5410. 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:28,084
  5411. Well, we were working
  5412. on our pop star careers,
  5413.  
  5414. 1243
  5415. 01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:30,203
  5416. but her voice is way better than mine.
  5417.  
  5418. 1244
  5419. 01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:31,441
  5420. Can I talk to you?
  5421.  
  5422. 1245
  5423. 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,011
  5424. Yeah, yeah.
  5425.  
  5426. 1246
  5427. 01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:41,566
  5428. Uh, what are you doing?
  5429.  
  5430. 1247
  5431. 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:43,006
  5432. What do you mean?
  5433.  
  5434. 1248
  5435. 01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:44,525
  5436. You're not her mom.
  5437.  
  5438. 1249
  5439. 01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:46,409
  5440. What are you... What are you...
  5441.  
  5442. 1250
  5443. 01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:47,846
  5444. What do you mean?
  5445.  
  5446. 1251
  5447. 01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:52,042
  5448. We were just singing, David.
  5449.  
  5450. 1252
  5451. 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,044
  5452. Look, I'm sorry,
  5453. but when it comes to Phoebe
  5454.  
  5455. 1253
  5456. 01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:58,806
  5457. I get very protective.
  5458.  
  5459. 1254
  5460. 01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,811
  5461. And, you can't just...
  5462.  
  5463. 1255
  5464. 01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:05,121
  5465. Look, I'm really sorry.
  5466.  
  5467. 1256
  5468. 01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:06,970
  5469. I didn't know that that was a thing.
  5470.  
  5471. 1257
  5472. 01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:09,842
  5473. I'm not trying to, like...
  5474.  
  5475. 1258
  5476. 01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:13,725
  5477. I guess I didn't know that
  5478. that would upset you
  5479.  
  5480. 1259
  5481. 01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:17,805
  5482. because you don't actually ever really
  5483. share anything with me.
  5484.  
  5485. 1260
  5486. 01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:37,887
  5487. Do you know how I found out
  5488. your wife passed away?
  5489.  
  5490. 1261
  5491. 01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:41,045
  5492. From your doorman, David.
  5493.  
  5494. 1262
  5495. 01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:42,281
  5496. Yeah, well.
  5497.  
  5498. 1263
  5499. 01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:44,801
  5500. I just thought you were divorced.
  5501. I had no idea.
  5502.  
  5503. 1264
  5504. 01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:48,487
  5505. It's just been two years, okay?
  5506. Phoebe's not ready for all that.
  5507.  
  5508. 1265
  5509. 01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:51,486
  5510. I have no idea
  5511. what it's like to be a parent.
  5512.  
  5513. 1266
  5514. 01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:54,890
  5515. But, I feel like you have to
  5516. open up to Phoebe about her mom...
  5517.  
  5518. 1267
  5519. 01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:56,326
  5520. Look, Alice.
  5521.  
  5522. 1268
  5523. 01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:58,881
  5524. I can't do this.
  5525.  
  5526. 1269
  5527. 01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:01,606
  5528. I'm sorry.
  5529.  
  5530. 1270
  5531. 01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,250
  5532. I know I'm not
  5533. supposed to need you anymore, but...
  5534.  
  5535. 1271
  5536. 01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:31,566
  5537. I really do.
  5538.  
  5539. 1272
  5540. 01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:33,881
  5541. Come here.
  5542.  
  5543. 1273
  5544. 01:06:38,440 --> 01:06:42,206
  5545. I feel like I don't even know
  5546. who I am anymore.
  5547.  
  5548. 1274
  5549. 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:44,411
  5550. It's okay.
  5551.  
  5552. 1275
  5553. 01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:53,769
  5554. I have to warn you,
  5555. I have this weird farting thing happening.
  5556.  
  5557. 1276
  5558. 01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:58,571
  5559. I don't know if it's me, or the baby
  5560. farting through me, or what, but...
  5561.  
  5562. 1277
  5563. 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:01,886
  5564. Let me see.
  5565.  
  5566. 1278
  5567. 01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:06,848
  5568. Hi, you stinky little baby.
  5569.  
  5570. 1279
  5571. 01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:13,367
  5572. You know you're not gonna
  5573. be able to hide this for much longer.
  5574.  
  5575. 1280
  5576. 01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:15,924
  5577. You need to tell him.
  5578.  
  5579. 1281
  5580. 01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:27,805
  5581. I love you, monkey.
  5582.  
  5583. 1282
  5584. 01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:29,525
  5585. I love you.
  5586.  
  5587. 1283
  5588. 01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,968
  5589. Hey, Happy Alcoholic's Day.
  5590.  
  5591. 1284
  5592. 01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,408
  5593. All right, let me guess.
  5594.  
  5595. 1285
  5596. 01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,642
  5597. You're one of those parade-hating
  5598. buzzkills that stays at home,
  5599.  
  5600. 1286
  5601. 01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:49,121
  5602. while the rest of us are out here,
  5603. celebrating Saint Patrick's Day.
  5604.  
  5605. 1287
  5606. 01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:51,169
  5607. No. You know what? I'm into it.
  5608.  
  5609. 1288
  5610. 01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:53,409
  5611. George is an eighth Irish.
  5612.  
  5613. 1289
  5614. 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:55,329
  5615. Do you think he'll like it? Look, I did...
  5616.  
  5617. 1290
  5618. 01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:56,606
  5619. Yeah.
  5620.  
  5621. 1291
  5622. 01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:57,841
  5623. Who's George?
  5624.  
  5625. 1292
  5626. 01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,331
  5627. Luce. Hey!
  5628.  
  5629. 1293
  5630. 01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,286
  5631. Oh, there he is!
  5632.  
  5633. 1294
  5634. 01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:04,529
  5635. That's George?
  5636.  
  5637. 1295
  5638. 01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:07,009
  5639. Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
  5640.  
  5641. 1296
  5642. 01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:09,686
  5643. Yes!
  5644.  
  5645. 1297
  5646. 01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,011
  5647. Mmm.
  5648.  
  5649. 1298
  5650. 01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:27,444
  5651. - Hi.
  5652. - Hi.
  5653.  
  5654. 1299
  5655. 01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,969
  5656. - It's been forever.
  5657. - Yeah.
  5658.  
  5659. 1300
  5660. 01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:32,931
  5661. Are you here with somebody?
  5662.  
  5663. 1301
  5664. 01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:35,731
  5665. Oh, no. I'm, I'm... I'm alone.
  5666.  
  5667. 1302
  5668. 01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,644
  5669. I just thought I'd grab some pancakes
  5670.  
  5671. 1303
  5672. 01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:39,689
  5673. - 'cause I love pancakes.
  5674. - This was our place.
  5675.  
  5676. 1304
  5677. 01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:40,841
  5678. Okay.
  5679.  
  5680. 1305
  5681. 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:42,764
  5682. What are you doing? Who are you here with?
  5683.  
  5684. 1306
  5685. 01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:43,921
  5686. I'm here with my parents.
  5687.  
  5688. 1307
  5689. 01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:45,127
  5690. - Oh, my God.
  5691. - Here they are.
  5692.  
  5693. 1308
  5694. 01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:46,321
  5695. - Look who it is.
  5696. - Alice!
  5697.  
  5698. 1309
  5699. 01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:48,721
  5700. - Hi! How are you?
  5701. - Oh, my God.
  5702.  
  5703. 1310
  5704. 01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:50,211
  5705. We're here to celebrate.
  5706.  
  5707. 1311
  5708. 01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:51,441
  5709. - How are you?
  5710. - It's so good to see you. Hi.
  5711.  
  5712. 1312
  5713. 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,841
  5714. Josh got into business school.
  5715.  
  5716. 1313
  5717. 01:09:54,040 --> 01:09:55,121
  5718. - What?
  5719. - I did.
  5720.  
  5721. 1314
  5722. 01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:56,361
  5723. It just happened. It's crazy.
  5724.  
  5725. 1315
  5726. 01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:58,010
  5727. I didn't even know you wanted to...
  5728.  
  5729. 1316
  5730. 01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:00,242
  5731. We were just gonna take a picture.
  5732. Come on, get in here.
  5733.  
  5734. 1317
  5735. 01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:02,528
  5736. We're just gonna take a picture.
  5737. Come on, come on, get in here.
  5738.  
  5739. 1318
  5740. 01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:03,841
  5741. - Squeeze in.
  5742. - No, no, no!
  5743.  
  5744. 1319
  5745. 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,331
  5746. Selfie time! Selfie time. One, two...
  5747.  
  5748. 1320
  5749. 01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:06,845
  5750. No, I can take one of you guys.
  5751.  
  5752. 1321
  5753. 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,047
  5754. Three!
  5755.  
  5756. 1322
  5757. 01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:10,089
  5758. You're better than her.
  5759.  
  5760. 1323
  5761. 01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:11,321
  5762. Wow. What?
  5763.  
  5764. 1324
  5765. 01:10:11,480 --> 01:10:14,324
  5766. - What?
  5767. - Mom! You need to go inside.
  5768.  
  5769. 1325
  5770. 01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:15,926
  5771. I know you've said it a million times.
  5772.  
  5773. 1326
  5774. 01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:17,445
  5775. - Take her inside...
  5776. - All right. There you go.
  5777.  
  5778. 1327
  5779. 01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:19,204
  5780. - ...and then take her home.
  5781. - Great to see you again.
  5782.  
  5783. 1328
  5784. 01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:20,447
  5785. - Great to see you.
  5786. - Okay.
  5787.  
  5788. 1329
  5789. 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:21,601
  5790. Bye, guys.
  5791.  
  5792. 1330
  5793. 01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:23,808
  5794. - It's great to see you.
  5795. - It's great to see you.
  5796.  
  5797. 1331
  5798. 01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:24,961
  5799. Yeah.
  5800.  
  5801. 1332
  5802. 01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:27,288
  5803. - Okay.
  5804. - Yeah.
  5805.  
  5806. 1333
  5807. 01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:31,490
  5808. Don't squash my pancakes, man.
  5809.  
  5810. 1334
  5811. 01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:33,802
  5812. Oh, sorry. Do you want to...
  5813. Yeah, let's...
  5814.  
  5815. 1335
  5816. 01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:35,650
  5817. - We should hang out soon.
  5818. - I'll see you around.
  5819.  
  5820. 1336
  5821. 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:37,165
  5822. - Okay.
  5823. - Okay.
  5824.  
  5825. 1337
  5826. 01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,166
  5827. Bye.
  5828.  
  5829. 1338
  5830. 01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:15,326
  5831. What the fuck?
  5832.  
  5833. 1339
  5834. 01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:23,040
  5835. Are you pregnant?
  5836.  
  5837. 1340
  5838. 01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:29,361
  5839. What?
  5840.  
  5841. 1341
  5842. 01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:32,890
  5843. I've been trying to have a baby. Yes.
  5844.  
  5845. 1342
  5846. 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:36,203
  5847. I... It's probably
  5848. not even going to stick.
  5849.  
  5850. 1343
  5851. 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,210
  5852. Yeah, I think it stuck.
  5853.  
  5854. 1344
  5855. 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:40,727
  5856. Okay, I don't know what that tone was
  5857.  
  5858. 1345
  5859. 01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:45,488
  5860. but, if you haven't noticed,
  5861. my boobs have gotten much bigger.
  5862.  
  5863. 1346
  5864. 01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:47,165
  5865. Yeah, of course I noticed
  5866. your boobs getting bigger.
  5867.  
  5868. 1347
  5869. 01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:50,250
  5870. I put that on my vision board, okay?
  5871. I thought that was because of me.
  5872.  
  5873. 1348
  5874. 01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:51,561
  5875. Who does that?
  5876.  
  5877. 1349
  5878. 01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:53,722
  5879. I do! People like me, visionaries!
  5880.  
  5881. 1350
  5882. 01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:55,530
  5883. Didn't you notice that I was getting fat?
  5884.  
  5885. 1351
  5886. 01:11:55,680 --> 01:11:58,331
  5887. That's a trick question.
  5888. You are not getting fat.
  5889.  
  5890. 1352
  5891. 01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:00,403
  5892. You are beautiful,
  5893. you have always been beautiful,
  5894.  
  5895. 1353
  5896. 01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:02,085
  5897. and you are carrying this so well.
  5898.  
  5899. 1354
  5900. 01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:03,241
  5901. You think?
  5902.  
  5903. 1355
  5904. 01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:05,084
  5905. Is this why you've been
  5906. avoiding me lately?
  5907.  
  5908. 1356
  5909. 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,007
  5910. Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna...
  5911.  
  5912. 1357
  5913. 01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:12,527
  5914. - I'm gonna be a dad!
  5915. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
  5916.  
  5917. 1358
  5918. 01:12:12,720 --> 01:12:13,926
  5919. Sorry, we're gonna have a baby!
  5920.  
  5921. 1359
  5922. 01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,082
  5923. We're gonna be... Not "dads."
  5924. We're gonna...
  5925.  
  5926. 1360
  5927. 01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:19,730
  5928. No, it's not.
  5929.  
  5930. 1361
  5931. 01:12:19,880 --> 01:12:22,008
  5932. Like, you're not... It's not...
  5933.  
  5934. 1362
  5935. 01:12:22,440 --> 01:12:23,441
  5936. Is that not mine?
  5937.  
  5938. 1363
  5939. 01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:25,081
  5940. I'm just pregnant.
  5941.  
  5942. 1364
  5943. 01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:27,447
  5944. What do you mean, you're "just pregnant"?
  5945. That's crazy. How's that possible?
  5946.  
  5947. 1365
  5948. 01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:28,965
  5949. - What?
  5950. - I said, you're being crazy.
  5951.  
  5952. 1366
  5953. 01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:31,691
  5954. You've lied to me the entire time
  5955. we've been together about being pregnant
  5956.  
  5957. 1367
  5958. 01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,649
  5959. and now you're upset with me
  5960. because I believed it?
  5961.  
  5962. 1368
  5963. 01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:35,290
  5964. That's what a crazy person does.
  5965.  
  5966. 1369
  5967. 01:12:35,440 --> 01:12:36,680
  5968. That's three times.
  5969.  
  5970. 1370
  5971. 01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:39,121
  5972. Say it again.
  5973.  
  5974. 1371
  5975. 01:12:39,280 --> 01:12:41,282
  5976. I don't know. It just seems crazy to me.
  5977.  
  5978. 1372
  5979. 01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,124
  5980. I just want to tell you something.
  5981.  
  5982. 1373
  5983. 01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:48,286
  5984. Usually, it's a good idea
  5985. not to call a pregnant woman crazy.
  5986.  
  5987. 1374
  5988. 01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:49,806
  5989. You know what I mean?
  5990.  
  5991. 1375
  5992. 01:12:49,960 --> 01:12:51,371
  5993. She's nuts, everybody.
  5994.  
  5995. 1376
  5996. 01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:54,681
  5997. So funny!
  5998.  
  5999. 1377
  6000. 01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:56,600
  6001. Oh, my God!
  6002.  
  6003. 1378
  6004. 01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:57,761
  6005. Not funny!
  6006.  
  6007. 1379
  6008. 01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:58,967
  6009. Get it, girl.
  6010.  
  6011. 1380
  6012. 01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:04,811
  6013. Who is the father?
  6014.  
  6015. 1381
  6016. 01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:07,402
  6017. I don't know! I don't know.
  6018.  
  6019. 1382
  6020. 01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:09,449
  6021. - How do you not know?
  6022. - Stop yelling at me.
  6023.  
  6024. 1383
  6025. 01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:10,601
  6026. How could you not know
  6027. something like that?
  6028.  
  6029. 1384
  6030. 01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:11,761
  6031. Did you not catch his name?
  6032.  
  6033. 1385
  6034. 01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:13,809
  6035. I did I.V.F. with a sperm donor. Okay?
  6036.  
  6037. 1386
  6038. 01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:15,928
  6039. - Oh, my God.
  6040. - Do you have a problem with that?
  6041.  
  6042. 1387
  6043. 01:13:16,120 --> 01:13:17,451
  6044. I don't have a problem with that.
  6045. It's your body.
  6046.  
  6047. 1388
  6048. 01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:20,490
  6049. Do whatever you want with your body.
  6050. Cover it in tattoos. I don't care.
  6051.  
  6052. 1389
  6053. 01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:22,324
  6054. I think I deserve to know
  6055. when there's someone
  6056.  
  6057. 1390
  6058. 01:13:22,480 --> 01:13:24,244
  6059. living inside the person
  6060. I'm having sex with.
  6061.  
  6062. 1391
  6063. 01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,289
  6064. Don't say that. That's gross!
  6065.  
  6066. 1392
  6067. 01:13:26,440 --> 01:13:28,488
  6068. There is nothing gross about that.
  6069. It is beautiful!
  6070.  
  6071. 1393
  6072. 01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:30,642
  6073. - It's not your problem.
  6074. - Not genetically, okay?
  6075.  
  6076. 1394
  6077. 01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:33,127
  6078. But my girlfriend is having a baby.
  6079.  
  6080. 1395
  6081. 01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:36,006
  6082. Babe, if we're gonna
  6083. make this thing work, like,
  6084.  
  6085. 1396
  6086. 01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:37,844
  6087. this is the kind of thing I need to know.
  6088.  
  6089. 1397
  6090. 01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:40,731
  6091. What are you gonna do?
  6092. Stay home and take care of a baby?
  6093.  
  6094. 1398
  6095. 01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,129
  6096. Did I just win the lottery?
  6097.  
  6098. 1399
  6099. 01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:45,328
  6100. Yes, I want to stay home
  6101. and take care of a baby.
  6102.  
  6103. 1400
  6104. 01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:48,768
  6105. When I was eight years old, my Halloween
  6106. costume was a stay-at-home Dad.
  6107.  
  6108. 1401
  6109. 01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:50,371
  6110. You're saying I never
  6111. have to go to work again.
  6112.  
  6113. 1402
  6114. 01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:51,851
  6115. I get to hang out with a baby all day?
  6116.  
  6117. 1403
  6118. 01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,001
  6119. Just stop saying the word "baby."
  6120.  
  6121. 1404
  6122. 01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:55,003
  6123. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!
  6124. Because babies are awesome!
  6125.  
  6126. 1405
  6127. 01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:58,449
  6128. Okay, listen.
  6129.  
  6130. 1406
  6131. 01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:03,683
  6132. You and I, we probably would
  6133. have a lot of fun together
  6134.  
  6135. 1407
  6136. 01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:07,363
  6137. and then, one day, we would be
  6138. on this road trip together.
  6139.  
  6140. 1408
  6141. 01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:09,682
  6142. And I would be driving,
  6143. and then I'd get tired
  6144.  
  6145. 1409
  6146. 01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:14,124
  6147. and I would hate to do it,
  6148. but I would agree to let you drive.
  6149.  
  6150. 1410
  6151. 01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:18,409
  6152. And then, I would feel very safe,
  6153. and that's when we would crash.
  6154.  
  6155. 1411
  6156. 01:14:18,960 --> 01:14:21,725
  6157. You think you can control everything,
  6158. but you can't.
  6159.  
  6160. 1412
  6161. 01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:24,370
  6162. That's not how this works.
  6163.  
  6164. 1413
  6165. 01:14:25,040 --> 01:14:28,647
  6166. If I could choose someone
  6167. to do this with, it would be you.
  6168.  
  6169. 1414
  6170. 01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:30,165
  6171. You can choose!
  6172.  
  6173. 1415
  6174. 01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:33,887
  6175. I just... I'm not the only one
  6176. in the car, anymore.
  6177.  
  6178. 1416
  6179. 01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:39,206
  6180. Yeah.
  6181.  
  6182. 1417
  6183. 01:14:41,320 --> 01:14:44,085
  6184. Well, for the record,
  6185. this is not me leaving.
  6186.  
  6187. 1418
  6188. 01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:47,048
  6189. This is you pushing me away.
  6190.  
  6191. 1419
  6192. 01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:34,964
  6193. - Daddy?
  6194. - Yeah, babe?
  6195.  
  6196. 1420
  6197. 01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,327
  6198. I want the Eyes of You song.
  6199.  
  6200. 1421
  6201. 01:15:37,480 --> 01:15:39,084
  6202. Sing it to me.
  6203.  
  6204. 1422
  6205. 01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:43,407
  6206. Not tonight, sweetheart. Okay?
  6207.  
  6208. 1423
  6209. 01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:47,881
  6210. Get some sleep.
  6211.  
  6212. 1424
  6213. 01:16:21,320 --> 01:16:23,527
  6214. It's just, Josh and I
  6215. could be married by now
  6216.  
  6217. 1425
  6218. 01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:26,007
  6219. and we would have, like,
  6220. the cutest little baby daughter
  6221.  
  6222. 1426
  6223. 01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:29,801
  6224. and she would probably
  6225. be named after a fruit.
  6226.  
  6227. 1427
  6228. 01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:32,406
  6229. What kind of name is George,
  6230. anyway? Right?
  6231.  
  6232. 1428
  6233. 01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:33,846
  6234. I hate his hair.
  6235.  
  6236. 1429
  6237. 01:16:34,360 --> 01:16:37,011
  6238. Actually, technically,
  6239. we would have a four-year-old daughter,
  6240.  
  6241. 1430
  6242. 01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:39,686
  6243. in which case, her name would be Rihanna.
  6244.  
  6245. 1431
  6246. 01:16:39,840 --> 01:16:41,968
  6247. What? We haven't known
  6248. each other four years.
  6249.  
  6250. 1432
  6251. 01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:43,531
  6252. No, not you. Josh.
  6253.  
  6254. 1433
  6255. 01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:44,681
  6256. Oh, right, yeah.
  6257.  
  6258. 1434
  6259. 01:16:44,840 --> 01:16:46,683
  6260. But, exactly.
  6261. It's the same thing with me and Lucy.
  6262.  
  6263. 1435
  6264. 01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:50,049
  6265. It's like, if I go to work,
  6266. and she's not there,
  6267.  
  6268. 1436
  6269. 01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:51,966
  6270. I'm like mad or something.
  6271.  
  6272. 1437
  6273. 01:16:52,120 --> 01:16:56,125
  6274. Yeah. Which is nuts, because
  6275. she's not completely disgusted by you.
  6276.  
  6277. 1438
  6278. 01:16:56,280 --> 01:16:58,647
  6279. I don't get it. I don't know where
  6280. I'm gonna find another one like her.
  6281.  
  6282. 1439
  6283. 01:16:58,840 --> 01:17:00,330
  6284. Yeah. I don't know, man.
  6285.  
  6286. 1440
  6287. 01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:03,771
  6288. Maybe we've just made all the wrong moves.
  6289.  
  6290. 1441
  6291. 01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:07,844
  6292. Maybe, this whole time,
  6293. we've been focusing on all the wrong stuff
  6294.  
  6295. 1442
  6296. 01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,889
  6297. and now it's just too late.
  6298.  
  6299. 1443
  6300. 01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:12,204
  6301. To the wrong stuff.
  6302.  
  6303. 1444
  6304. 01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:15,607
  6305. This is it. We can't pass "eleven."
  6306.  
  6307. 1445
  6308. 01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:18,491
  6309. What are you talking about?
  6310.  
  6311. 1446
  6312. 01:17:19,440 --> 01:17:21,124
  6313. Our drink number.
  6314.  
  6315. 1447
  6316. 01:17:21,320 --> 01:17:23,721
  6317. In every male and female friendship,
  6318. there's a number of drinks,
  6319.  
  6320. 1448
  6321. 01:17:23,880 --> 01:17:27,168
  6322. and if you pass it,
  6323. you have to have sex, mathematically.
  6324.  
  6325. 1449
  6326. 01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:29,444
  6327. Whatever, dude.
  6328.  
  6329. 1450
  6330. 01:17:32,440 --> 01:17:34,522
  6331. Oi. Sorry. Loud noise.
  6332.  
  6333. 1451
  6334. 01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:36,409
  6335. Where did that come from?
  6336.  
  6337. 1452
  6338. 01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,927
  6339. Uh... The floor.
  6340.  
  6341. 1453
  6342. 01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:43,409
  6343. One, two, three. That's three.
  6344.  
  6345. 1454
  6346. 01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:47,801
  6347. Four, five, six.
  6348.  
  6349. 1455
  6350. 01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:50,966
  6351. Seven.
  6352.  
  6353. 1456
  6354. 01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:55,924
  6355. Eight, nine.
  6356.  
  6357. 1457
  6358. 01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:04,520
  6359. It's just ten. It's just ten.
  6360.  
  6361. 1458
  6362. 01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:10,484
  6363. Eleven. Did you drink this?
  6364.  
  6365. 1459
  6366. 01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:11,641
  6367. No.
  6368.  
  6369. 1460
  6370. 01:18:11,800 --> 01:18:12,847
  6371. Oh, thank God.
  6372.  
  6373. 1461
  6374. 01:18:13,040 --> 01:18:14,201
  6375. You did.
  6376.  
  6377. 1462
  6378. 01:18:26,880 --> 01:18:28,723
  6379. This may be a mistake.
  6380.  
  6381. 1463
  6382. 01:18:28,880 --> 01:18:30,609
  6383. It's just such a bad idea.
  6384.  
  6385. 1464
  6386. 01:18:30,760 --> 01:18:33,206
  6387. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was, like, trying to
  6388. bone the Lucy out of my system.
  6389.  
  6390. 1465
  6391. 01:18:33,360 --> 01:18:35,522
  6392. Yeah, see, normally,
  6393. I feel like I'd be mad at that.
  6394.  
  6395. 1466
  6396. 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:37,489
  6397. But I just did
  6398. the exact same thing to you.
  6399.  
  6400. 1467
  6401. 01:18:37,640 --> 01:18:39,802
  6402. Right, yeah. Shit.
  6403.  
  6404. 1468
  6405. 01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:41,246
  6406. I think I like her.
  6407.  
  6408. 1469
  6409. 01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:44,646
  6410. Like, when we're together...
  6411.  
  6412. 1470
  6413. 01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:49,282
  6414. I feel like me, but, like... A better me.
  6415.  
  6416. 1471
  6417. 01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:55,489
  6418. See, that's the magic.
  6419. That's what I got to find.
  6420.  
  6421. 1472
  6422. 01:18:55,640 --> 01:18:56,766
  6423. Yeah.
  6424.  
  6425. 1473
  6426. 01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:03,284
  6427. I can let myself out.
  6428.  
  6429. 1474
  6430. 01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:37,884
  6431. Cheers!
  6432.  
  6433. 1475
  6434. 01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:47,129
  6435. Whoa!
  6436.  
  6437. 1476
  6438. 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:50,807
  6439. Alice! Happy Birthday!
  6440.  
  6441. 1477
  6442. 01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:51,961
  6443. Hi!
  6444.  
  6445. 1478
  6446. 01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:53,724
  6447. Thank you. What is that? Give me that.
  6448.  
  6449. 1479
  6450. 01:19:54,040 --> 01:19:55,565
  6451. Um, this is actually for Meg.
  6452.  
  6453. 1480
  6454. 01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:57,290
  6455. I had it made for her, specially.
  6456.  
  6457. 1481
  6458. 01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:02,209
  6459. Aw. That is so sweet. Look how cozy.
  6460.  
  6461. 1482
  6462. 01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:06,767
  6463. Maybe I'll give it to her. Just, later on.
  6464.  
  6465. 1483
  6466. 01:20:06,920 --> 01:20:07,967
  6467. Hey!
  6468.  
  6469. 1484
  6470. 01:20:08,120 --> 01:20:09,326
  6471. No Tom, no Josh,
  6472.  
  6473. 1485
  6474. 01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:13,891
  6475. I'm just gonna have a really good time and
  6476. I'm not gonna think about any boys at all.
  6477.  
  6478. 1486
  6479. 01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:15,769
  6480. Here's to no drama.
  6481.  
  6482. 1487
  6483. 01:20:15,920 --> 01:20:18,526
  6484. - No drama.
  6485. - Whoo!
  6486.  
  6487. 1488
  6488. 01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:27,166
  6489. Happy Birthday!
  6490.  
  6491. 1489
  6492. 01:20:37,240 --> 01:20:38,241
  6493. Whoo!
  6494.  
  6495. 1490
  6496. 01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:47,686
  6497. Thanks, buddy.
  6498.  
  6499. 1491
  6500. 01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:51,765
  6501. I'll show you. This way.
  6502.  
  6503. 1492
  6504. 01:20:54,400 --> 01:20:56,004
  6505. Oh, my God.
  6506.  
  6507. 1493
  6508. 01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:00,407
  6509. - Dude, Ricky Stimpkins!
  6510. - Josh! What's up, man?
  6511.  
  6512. 1494
  6513. 01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:02,324
  6514. Wow, I haven't seen you
  6515. since college, man!
  6516.  
  6517. 1495
  6518. 01:21:02,480 --> 01:21:04,005
  6519. I'm just hanging.
  6520.  
  6521. 1496
  6522. 01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,208
  6523. I got to go get a drink,
  6524. but I'll catch you later.
  6525.  
  6526. 1497
  6527. 01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:08,408
  6528. - Okay, cool. Yeah, man.
  6529. - I'm gonna find Alice.
  6530.  
  6531. 1498
  6532. 01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:11,205
  6533. Tall person.
  6534.  
  6535. 1499
  6536. 01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:16,849
  6537. We got a whole "No hats" thing
  6538.  
  6539. 1500
  6540. 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:20,686
  6541. but you seem like a good guy,
  6542. and, you know...
  6543.  
  6544. 1501
  6545. 01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:23,050
  6546. Hey. What's up, guys?
  6547.  
  6548. 1502
  6549. 01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:24,611
  6550. - Hey.
  6551. - Hey. Josh.
  6552.  
  6553. 1503
  6554. 01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:26,281
  6555. You're Josh?
  6556.  
  6557. 1504
  6558. 01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:27,761
  6559. What's that supposed to mean?
  6560.  
  6561. 1505
  6562. 01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:30,730
  6563. No... Nothing. Makes total sense.
  6564.  
  6565. 1506
  6566. 01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:32,166
  6567. Wait, how do you know Alice?
  6568.  
  6569. 1507
  6570. 01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:33,521
  6571. How do you guys know Alice?
  6572.  
  6573. 1508
  6574. 01:21:33,680 --> 01:21:35,170
  6575. Oh, fuck me.
  6576.  
  6577. 1509
  6578. 01:21:35,320 --> 01:21:36,401
  6579. This is Josh.
  6580.  
  6581. 1510
  6582. 01:21:36,760 --> 01:21:37,841
  6583. Makes sense.
  6584.  
  6585. 1511
  6586. 01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,321
  6587. What? Are you guys new friends, or...
  6588.  
  6589. 1512
  6590. 01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:45,481
  6591. Oh, my God.
  6592.  
  6593. 1513
  6594. 01:21:46,240 --> 01:21:47,401
  6595. Come here.
  6596.  
  6597. 1514
  6598. 01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:50,689
  6599. Um, Tom is here, and David, and Josh.
  6600.  
  6601. 1515
  6602. 01:21:50,880 --> 01:21:52,484
  6603. And David. Did I say David?
  6604.  
  6605. 1516
  6606. 01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:54,404
  6607. Yeah, I know, because I invited them.
  6608.  
  6609. 1517
  6610. 01:21:54,560 --> 01:21:55,607
  6611. You're welcome.
  6612.  
  6613. 1518
  6614. 01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:56,961
  6615. Why? Why would you do that?
  6616.  
  6617. 1519
  6618. 01:21:57,120 --> 01:21:59,930
  6619. Because I thought it would be funny.
  6620. For me.
  6621.  
  6622. 1520
  6623. 01:22:00,080 --> 01:22:04,529
  6624. And good for you, emotionally,
  6625. to have guys fighting over you.
  6626.  
  6627. 1521
  6628. 01:22:08,920 --> 01:22:10,160
  6629. - Hey.
  6630. - Hey.
  6631.  
  6632. 1522
  6633. 01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:11,725
  6634. - What's going on?
  6635. - How are you?
  6636.  
  6637. 1523
  6638. 01:22:12,040 --> 01:22:15,123
  6639. Pretty good. Uh, I need to
  6640. talk to you about something.
  6641.  
  6642. 1524
  6643. 01:22:15,320 --> 01:22:17,322
  6644. - Great. Me, too.
  6645. - You go first.
  6646.  
  6647. 1525
  6648. 01:22:17,480 --> 01:22:19,403
  6649. - I'm getting married.
  6650. - What?
  6651.  
  6652. 1526
  6653. 01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:21,365
  6654. That's, uh...
  6655.  
  6656. 1527
  6657. 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:27,688
  6658. Look, your computer programs
  6659. are total bullshit.
  6660.  
  6661. 1528
  6662. 01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:30,406
  6663. Your algorithms?
  6664. Also, total bullshit, all right?
  6665.  
  6666. 1529
  6667. 01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:33,530
  6668. Just because the music stops, doesn't mean
  6669. you got to sit in the closest chair.
  6670.  
  6671. 1530
  6672. 01:22:33,680 --> 01:22:35,808
  6673. You shouldn't be with George.
  6674.  
  6675. 1531
  6676. 01:22:35,960 --> 01:22:37,086
  6677. You should be with me.
  6678.  
  6679. 1532
  6680. 01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:41,406
  6681. - Yes. I want to be with you.
  6682. - What?
  6683.  
  6684. 1533
  6685. 01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:44,046
  6686. God, all those bad dates at the bar,
  6687.  
  6688. 1534
  6689. 01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:46,521
  6690. there was something that was always there.
  6691.  
  6692. 1535
  6693. 01:22:46,680 --> 01:22:47,727
  6694. You.
  6695.  
  6696. 1536
  6697. 01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,161
  6698. It was always me.
  6699.  
  6700. 1537
  6701. 01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:53,089
  6702. - Yes. Oh, my God.
  6703. - Right?
  6704.  
  6705. 1538
  6706. 01:22:53,280 --> 01:22:54,566
  6707. We could have the best life together.
  6708.  
  6709. 1539
  6710. 01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:56,449
  6711. And, I mean, we're gonna want
  6712. to get married soon
  6713.  
  6714. 1540
  6715. 01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,728
  6716. because we'll probably want to
  6717. start a family right away.
  6718.  
  6719. 1541
  6720. 01:22:58,880 --> 01:23:02,202
  6721. Oh, my God. Our kids...
  6722. Our kids are gonna be so cute.
  6723.  
  6724. 1542
  6725. 01:23:02,480 --> 01:23:03,811
  6726. Exactly.
  6727.  
  6728. 1543
  6729. 01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:07,567
  6730. Which is why we should just
  6731. kind of pump the brakes
  6732.  
  6733. 1544
  6734. 01:23:07,720 --> 01:23:09,165
  6735. and not rush things, you know?
  6736.  
  6737. 1545
  6738. 01:23:09,320 --> 01:23:12,563
  6739. Let's take care of us right now.
  6740.  
  6741. 1546
  6742. 01:23:12,720 --> 01:23:14,051
  6743. Oh, my God, Tom.
  6744.  
  6745. 1547
  6746. 01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:15,770
  6747. I'm totally messing with you.
  6748.  
  6749. 1548
  6750. 01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:17,764
  6751. Thank you. Oh, my God.
  6752.  
  6753. 1549
  6754. 01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:19,365
  6755. I don't want to be with you.
  6756.  
  6757. 1550
  6758. 01:23:19,680 --> 01:23:21,409
  6759. And you don't want to be with me, either.
  6760.  
  6761. 1551
  6762. 01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,409
  6763. - Wait.
  6764. - Babe!
  6765.  
  6766. 1552
  6767. 01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:25,170
  6768. - Oh, my God.
  6769. - I saw everything.
  6770.  
  6771. 1553
  6772. 01:23:25,320 --> 01:23:27,049
  6773. I thought you were gonna
  6774. hyperventilate, man.
  6775.  
  6776. 1554
  6777. 01:23:27,200 --> 01:23:28,645
  6778. But I didn't!
  6779.  
  6780. 1555
  6781. 01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:31,605
  6782. Oh, Tom. Come on. Don't be sad.
  6783.  
  6784. 1556
  6785. 01:23:31,760 --> 01:23:32,921
  6786. You know what this is?
  6787.  
  6788. 1557
  6789. 01:23:33,120 --> 01:23:36,090
  6790. This is the first,
  6791. tiny green sprout of life
  6792.  
  6793. 1558
  6794. 01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:39,363
  6795. fighting its way out of
  6796. the gravel parking lot of your heart.
  6797.  
  6798. 1559
  6799. 01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:40,760
  6800. So, congrats.
  6801.  
  6802. 1560
  6803. 01:23:41,360 --> 01:23:44,728
  6804. - That was beautiful.
  6805. - Thank you, hon.
  6806.  
  6807. 1561
  6808. 01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:46,245
  6809. Hang on, one second.
  6810.  
  6811. 1562
  6812. 01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:48,448
  6813. Hey, quick, man, just one last thing.
  6814.  
  6815. 1563
  6816. 01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:51,080
  6817. Stay the fuck away
  6818. from my girl, okay, man?
  6819.  
  6820. 1564
  6821. 01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:53,322
  6822. Or I will straight-up end you.
  6823.  
  6824. 1565
  6825. 01:23:53,480 --> 01:23:54,481
  6826. - Okay. All right.
  6827. - Okay?
  6828.  
  6829. 1566
  6830. 01:23:54,640 --> 01:23:55,801
  6831. So, just back off. You got it?
  6832.  
  6833. 1567
  6834. 01:23:55,960 --> 01:23:57,325
  6835. - Yeah.
  6836. - Because I put a ring on that
  6837.  
  6838. 1568
  6839. 01:23:57,480 --> 01:23:59,562
  6840. and you're coming at it
  6841. pretty hard with your dick.
  6842.  
  6843. 1569
  6844. 01:23:59,760 --> 01:24:01,649
  6845. - Okay.
  6846. - I'm fucking with you, man.
  6847.  
  6848. 1570
  6849. 01:24:02,240 --> 01:24:03,241
  6850. - Cool, okay.
  6851. - No, of course.
  6852.  
  6853. 1571
  6854. 01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,482
  6855. Lucy loves you, I love you.
  6856.  
  6857. 1572
  6858. 01:24:05,680 --> 01:24:06,966
  6859. We're brothers, now, all right?
  6860.  
  6861. 1573
  6862. 01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:09,851
  6863. And, as such, I would like to...
  6864.  
  6865. 1574
  6866. 01:24:10,240 --> 01:24:11,890
  6867. This is a big one...
  6868.  
  6869. 1575
  6870. 01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:13,964
  6871. Ask you to be my best man.
  6872.  
  6873. 1576
  6874. 01:24:16,320 --> 01:24:18,561
  6875. - Yeah, you got it.
  6876. - I'm fucking with you, bro!
  6877.  
  6878. 1577
  6879. 01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:21,690
  6880. Of course, you can't be my best man.
  6881. You are a stranger to me.
  6882.  
  6883. 1578
  6884. 01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:22,927
  6885. - Okay?
  6886. - Yeah.
  6887.  
  6888. 1579
  6889. 01:24:23,120 --> 01:24:25,487
  6890. Just to recap...
  6891. Stay the fuck away from my girl.
  6892.  
  6893. 1580
  6894. 01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:27,244
  6895. I don't want you to be my best man.
  6896.  
  6897. 1581
  6898. 01:24:27,400 --> 01:24:29,164
  6899. We still love you, you're family.
  6900.  
  6901. 1582
  6902. 01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:30,560
  6903. You'll definitely be
  6904. invited to the wedding.
  6905.  
  6906. 1583
  6907. 01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:32,370
  6908. - Okay.
  6909. - But, probably not.
  6910.  
  6911. 1584
  6912. 01:24:32,520 --> 01:24:33,806
  6913. So, don't be offended.
  6914.  
  6915. 1585
  6916. 01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:35,445
  6917. I'm glad we had this talk, man.
  6918.  
  6919. 1586
  6920. 01:24:41,520 --> 01:24:42,885
  6921. Whoo!
  6922.  
  6923. 1587
  6924. 01:24:45,320 --> 01:24:46,321
  6925. Uh...
  6926.  
  6927. 1588
  6928. 01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:48,925
  6929. You trying to hide from me?
  6930.  
  6931. 1589
  6932. 01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:51,883
  6933. - Are you hiding from me? Hi.
  6934. - Huh? Hi.
  6935.  
  6936. 1590
  6937. 01:24:52,040 --> 01:24:54,202
  6938. I didn't see you, right over there.
  6939.  
  6940. 1591
  6941. 01:24:54,400 --> 01:24:55,401
  6942. It's a good hiding spot.
  6943.  
  6944. 1592
  6945. 01:24:56,240 --> 01:24:57,366
  6946. Uh, listen.
  6947.  
  6948. 1593
  6949. 01:24:58,520 --> 01:24:59,760
  6950. I've been thinking about you a lot...
  6951.  
  6952. 1594
  6953. 01:24:59,920 --> 01:25:01,729
  6954. Look, David, I'm sorry, I...
  6955.  
  6956. 1595
  6957. 01:25:01,880 --> 01:25:02,881
  6958. I can't do this.
  6959.  
  6960. 1596
  6961. 01:25:03,040 --> 01:25:06,408
  6962. You made it so clear to me
  6963. that you didn't want to, so...
  6964.  
  6965. 1597
  6966. 01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:07,971
  6967. That's not why I came here at all.
  6968.  
  6969. 1598
  6970. 01:25:08,160 --> 01:25:12,725
  6971. I just came here to apologize to you
  6972. for being such an asshole.
  6973.  
  6974. 1599
  6975. 01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:15,201
  6976. - Oh.
  6977. - Yeah.
  6978.  
  6979. 1600
  6980. 01:25:17,360 --> 01:25:18,486
  6981. Well, you were right about Phoebe.
  6982.  
  6983. 1601
  6984. 01:25:18,640 --> 01:25:20,449
  6985. Oh, good. Did you talk to her?
  6986.  
  6987. 1602
  6988. 01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:23,206
  6989. Well, um, you know, I'm working on it.
  6990.  
  6991. 1603
  6992. 01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:25,681
  6993. But are you okay?
  6994.  
  6995. 1604
  6996. 01:25:30,120 --> 01:25:31,531
  6997. I'm working on it.
  6998.  
  6999. 1605
  7000. 01:25:36,560 --> 01:25:37,721
  7001. Happy Birthday.
  7002.  
  7003. 1606
  7004. 01:25:52,640 --> 01:25:54,722
  7005. See? I told you this would be fun.
  7006.  
  7007. 1607
  7008. 01:25:54,920 --> 01:25:57,127
  7009. Although, I thought one of them was, like,
  7010. gonna punch each other
  7011.  
  7012. 1608
  7013. 01:25:57,280 --> 01:25:58,520
  7014. and that hasn't happened yet.
  7015.  
  7016. 1609
  7017. 01:25:58,680 --> 01:26:01,251
  7018. Robin, this isn't a joke. This is my life.
  7019.  
  7020. 1610
  7021. 01:26:01,400 --> 01:26:03,767
  7022. But you know what? I guess
  7023. you wouldn't actually understand that
  7024.  
  7025. 1611
  7026. 01:26:03,920 --> 01:26:07,288
  7027. because you've never really cared
  7028. about anybody enough to ever get hurt.
  7029.  
  7030. 1612
  7031. 01:26:07,440 --> 01:26:09,727
  7032. So, this type of thing doesn't affect you.
  7033.  
  7034. 1613
  7035. 01:26:09,880 --> 01:26:13,407
  7036. Okay. I'm sorry I invited them,
  7037. but who gives a shit about me?
  7038.  
  7039. 1614
  7040. 01:26:13,600 --> 01:26:15,250
  7041. I do, because you're my friend!
  7042.  
  7043. 1615
  7044. 01:26:15,440 --> 01:26:17,761
  7045. Am I? Because as far as I can tell
  7046.  
  7047. 1616
  7048. 01:26:17,920 --> 01:26:20,241
  7049. you only ever want to hang out with me
  7050. when you get dumped
  7051.  
  7052. 1617
  7053. 01:26:20,440 --> 01:26:21,851
  7054. and you need someone to cheer you up.
  7055.  
  7056. 1618
  7057. 01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:25,449
  7058. Well, you only ever hang out with me
  7059. when you need me to be your little sidekick.
  7060.  
  7061. 1619
  7062. 01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:29,406
  7063. The reason why I don't hang around
  7064. with you when you're in a relationship,
  7065.  
  7066. 1620
  7067. 01:26:29,560 --> 01:26:33,804
  7068. is because you just turn into this
  7069. lame-ass shell of a human being.
  7070.  
  7071. 1621
  7072. 01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,241
  7073. Nice.
  7074.  
  7075. 1622
  7076. 01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,448
  7077. - Yeah, do you want some real advice?
  7078. - Yeah, what?
  7079.  
  7080. 1623
  7081. 01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:42,288
  7082. You're not gonna find the right guy
  7083. by bumming free drinks and slutting it up.
  7084.  
  7085. 1624
  7086. 01:26:42,440 --> 01:26:43,965
  7087. Where is this coming from?
  7088.  
  7089. 1625
  7090. 01:26:44,120 --> 01:26:45,929
  7091. This whole time,
  7092. you've been the one that's like,
  7093.  
  7094. 1626
  7095. 01:26:46,080 --> 01:26:48,811
  7096. "Oh, yeah, parties and dicks and shots.
  7097.  
  7098. 1627
  7099. 01:26:48,960 --> 01:26:52,646
  7100. "Let's put shots all over our bodies.
  7101. More sparkles, bitch!"
  7102.  
  7103. 1628
  7104. 01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:57,122
  7105. It's about me being sick of you just meeting
  7106. guys and falling into their dick-sand.
  7107.  
  7108. 1629
  7109. 01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:58,406
  7110. Falling into their what?
  7111.  
  7112. 1630
  7113. 01:26:58,560 --> 01:27:00,403
  7114. Their dick-sand.
  7115.  
  7116. 1631
  7117. 01:27:00,560 --> 01:27:02,801
  7118. It's like, every time
  7119. a guy just looks at you,
  7120.  
  7121. 1632
  7122. 01:27:02,960 --> 01:27:04,689
  7123. you just forget who you are, and...
  7124.  
  7125. 1633
  7126. 01:27:04,880 --> 01:27:06,041
  7127. Like... "Oh!"
  7128.  
  7129. 1634
  7130. 01:27:07,440 --> 01:27:09,090
  7131. You get sucked into their world.
  7132.  
  7133. 1635
  7134. 01:27:09,920 --> 01:27:11,809
  7135. At least when I do decide
  7136. I want a boyfriend...
  7137.  
  7138. 1636
  7139. 01:27:11,960 --> 01:27:14,327
  7140. I'm gonna find someone
  7141. who likes me for who I really am,
  7142.  
  7143. 1637
  7144. 01:27:14,480 --> 01:27:17,211
  7145. because I know who the fuck that is.
  7146.  
  7147. 1638
  7148. 01:28:01,040 --> 01:28:02,087
  7149. Hey.
  7150.  
  7151. 1639
  7152. 01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:03,840
  7153. Oh, my God.
  7154.  
  7155. 1640
  7156. 01:28:04,520 --> 01:28:06,648
  7157. Happy Birthday.
  7158.  
  7159. 1641
  7160. 01:28:07,520 --> 01:28:09,249
  7161. It's your birthday!
  7162.  
  7163. 1642
  7164. 01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:12,808
  7165. And I drank some of your gift.
  7166.  
  7167. 1643
  7168. 01:28:21,680 --> 01:28:22,806
  7169. You okay?
  7170.  
  7171. 1644
  7172. 01:28:27,760 --> 01:28:29,364
  7173. No. No.
  7174.  
  7175. 1645
  7176. 01:28:36,560 --> 01:28:38,801
  7177. God, you look pretty when you're pissed.
  7178.  
  7179. 1646
  7180. 01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:49,002
  7181. I missed these.
  7182.  
  7183. 1647
  7184. 01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:54,251
  7185. - What are we doing?
  7186. - We're about to have sex.
  7187.  
  7188. 1648
  7189. 01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:55,447
  7190. What?
  7191.  
  7192. 1649
  7193. 01:28:56,240 --> 01:28:57,685
  7194. - God.
  7195. - What?
  7196.  
  7197. 1650
  7198. 01:28:58,080 --> 01:29:01,209
  7199. So, ever since I saw you,
  7200. I feel like we fucked up.
  7201.  
  7202. 1651
  7203. 01:29:01,360 --> 01:29:03,010
  7204. I shouldn't have let you go.
  7205.  
  7206. 1652
  7207. 01:29:04,760 --> 01:29:09,288
  7208. Because Michelle and I are still together,
  7209. and we're actually engaged
  7210.  
  7211. 1653
  7212. 01:29:09,440 --> 01:29:11,249
  7213. - and I feel like we're fucking up...
  7214. - What? What?
  7215.  
  7216. 1654
  7217. 01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:14,529
  7218. We're getting married,
  7219. but I don't know if I want to do it yet.
  7220.  
  7221. 1655
  7222. 01:29:15,280 --> 01:29:16,520
  7223. - Oh, my God.
  7224. - Wait!
  7225.  
  7226. 1656
  7227. 01:29:16,680 --> 01:29:18,728
  7228. - I'm just telling...
  7229. - Oh, my God.
  7230.  
  7231. 1657
  7232. 01:29:18,880 --> 01:29:20,405
  7233. - Oh, my God.
  7234. - Come here, come here.
  7235.  
  7236. 1658
  7237. 01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:22,608
  7238. You just let me make out
  7239. with somebody else's fiancé.
  7240.  
  7241. 1659
  7242. 01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:25,047
  7243. No, it's not cheating,
  7244. since we've already been together.
  7245.  
  7246. 1660
  7247. 01:29:25,200 --> 01:29:26,645
  7248. - What are you doing?
  7249. - Wait, just...
  7250.  
  7251. 1661
  7252. 01:29:26,840 --> 01:29:28,046
  7253. You told me you missed me!
  7254.  
  7255. 1662
  7256. 01:29:28,200 --> 01:29:30,851
  7257. I... That's the whole point,
  7258. I miss you all the time.
  7259.  
  7260. 1663
  7261. 01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:35,642
  7262. I saw you and you were so beautiful,
  7263. and you are so beautiful.
  7264.  
  7265. 1664
  7266. 01:29:36,400 --> 01:29:38,243
  7267. And I just need closure...
  7268.  
  7269. 1665
  7270. 01:29:38,400 --> 01:29:39,481
  7271. - I think we need...
  7272. - Is that what this...
  7273.  
  7274. 1666
  7275. 01:29:39,680 --> 01:29:41,284
  7276. - This is closure for you?
  7277. - Yeah.
  7278.  
  7279. 1667
  7280. 01:29:41,480 --> 01:29:43,209
  7281. Just one last screw for old times' sake
  7282.  
  7283. 1668
  7284. 01:29:43,360 --> 01:29:45,966
  7285. before you go and settle down
  7286. with somebody else?
  7287.  
  7288. 1669
  7289. 01:29:46,120 --> 01:29:47,360
  7290. That's not...
  7291.  
  7292. 1670
  7293. 01:29:48,680 --> 01:29:50,842
  7294. I'm sorry, all right?
  7295.  
  7296. 1671
  7297. 01:29:51,440 --> 01:29:53,681
  7298. - Alice.
  7299. - No, you know, what?
  7300.  
  7301. 1672
  7302. 01:29:53,840 --> 01:29:56,320
  7303. I'm sorry. This is my fault.
  7304.  
  7305. 1673
  7306. 01:29:56,480 --> 01:29:59,006
  7307. I spent so much time wanting you back
  7308.  
  7309. 1674
  7310. 01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:01,726
  7311. that, when I thought
  7312. that you wanted me back,
  7313.  
  7314. 1675
  7315. 01:30:01,880 --> 01:30:03,848
  7316. it's like I lost my mind for a second.
  7317.  
  7318. 1676
  7319. 01:30:05,040 --> 01:30:06,769
  7320. Oh, my God. This is it!
  7321. This is the dick-sand.
  7322.  
  7323. 1677
  7324. 01:30:06,960 --> 01:30:08,928
  7325. I'm falling into your dick-sand right now.
  7326.  
  7327. 1678
  7328. 01:30:09,080 --> 01:30:10,923
  7329. - What?
  7330. - It's like quicksand, but with dicks.
  7331.  
  7332. 1679
  7333. 01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:12,127
  7334. I don't have dick-sand.
  7335.  
  7336. 1680
  7337. 01:30:12,280 --> 01:30:16,808
  7338. I'm so obsessed with the idea of
  7339. being in love that I just, it's like...
  7340.  
  7341. 1681
  7342. 01:30:17,640 --> 01:30:19,529
  7343. I completely lose myself.
  7344.  
  7345. 1682
  7346. 01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:23,242
  7347. Like, I forget what I want
  7348. and I just disappear.
  7349.  
  7350. 1683
  7351. 01:30:23,400 --> 01:30:25,243
  7352. I'm like the horse
  7353. in The Never ending Story.
  7354.  
  7355. 1684
  7356. 01:30:25,440 --> 01:30:28,171
  7357. I don't think it's coming out
  7358. like it's inside your head.
  7359.  
  7360. 1685
  7361. 01:30:29,120 --> 01:30:31,566
  7362. Josh. I want to be alone.
  7363.  
  7364. 1686
  7365. 01:30:33,080 --> 01:30:35,003
  7366. I know that I've said that a lot.
  7367.  
  7368. 1687
  7369. 01:30:36,000 --> 01:30:40,369
  7370. But, for the first time in my life,
  7371. I really, really, truly mean it.
  7372.  
  7373. 1688
  7374. 01:30:41,720 --> 01:30:43,768
  7375. Congratulations on your engagement.
  7376.  
  7377. 1689
  7378. 01:31:09,840 --> 01:31:11,126
  7379. Where to?
  7380.  
  7381. 1690
  7382. 01:31:11,520 --> 01:31:12,646
  7383. Home.
  7384.  
  7385. 1691
  7386. 01:31:14,880 --> 01:31:16,245
  7387. I'm going home.
  7388.  
  7389. 1692
  7390. 01:31:19,400 --> 01:31:21,607
  7391. Woman! I don't know
  7392. where the fuck you live.
  7393.  
  7394. 1693
  7395. 01:31:21,800 --> 01:31:23,211
  7396. Oh, I'm sorry.
  7397.  
  7398. 1694
  7399. 01:31:23,360 --> 01:31:25,488
  7400. Um, can I go to South Second and Berry?
  7401.  
  7402. 1695
  7403. 01:31:31,040 --> 01:31:32,849
  7404. Oh, my God!
  7405.  
  7406. 1696
  7407. 01:31:33,400 --> 01:31:35,323
  7408. Robin? Oh, my God!
  7409.  
  7410. 1697
  7411. 01:31:36,040 --> 01:31:38,407
  7412. Oh, my God! Are you okay?
  7413.  
  7414. 1698
  7415. 01:31:38,560 --> 01:31:40,085
  7416. Take us to the hospital,
  7417. and I won't sue you!
  7418.  
  7419. 1699
  7420. 01:31:40,240 --> 01:31:42,129
  7421. - What's happening?
  7422. - We got to go...
  7423.  
  7424. 1700
  7425. 01:31:42,480 --> 01:31:44,608
  7426. Hey!
  7427.  
  7428. 1701
  7429. 01:31:46,120 --> 01:31:47,201
  7430. Oh, God!
  7431.  
  7432. 1702
  7433. 01:31:47,360 --> 01:31:48,441
  7434. Oh, my God, it's happening.
  7435.  
  7436. 1703
  7437. 01:31:48,600 --> 01:31:49,681
  7438. No, no, no.
  7439. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
  7440.  
  7441. 1704
  7442. 01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:50,841
  7443. - Oh, my God!
  7444. - No, it's fine!
  7445.  
  7446. 1705
  7447. 01:31:51,000 --> 01:31:52,206
  7448. I got her, I got her.
  7449.  
  7450. 1706
  7451. 01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:55,210
  7452. The average labor
  7453. for a new mom is 26 hours.
  7454.  
  7455. 1707
  7456. 01:31:55,400 --> 01:31:57,084
  7457. It doesn't pop out like it does on TV.
  7458.  
  7459. 1708
  7460. 01:31:57,280 --> 01:31:58,930
  7461. - It's gonna be fine.
  7462. - Okay.
  7463.  
  7464. 1709
  7465. 01:31:59,080 --> 01:32:00,730
  7466. - Oh, my God!
  7467. - Oh, my God!
  7468.  
  7469. 1710
  7470. 01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:02,450
  7471. Oh, my God, is it fine?
  7472. Is everything fine?
  7473.  
  7474. 1711
  7475. 01:32:02,600 --> 01:32:03,601
  7476. - Get a cab. Get me a cab.
  7477. - Okay!
  7478.  
  7479. 1712
  7480. 01:32:03,760 --> 01:32:04,921
  7481. I've got one!
  7482.  
  7483. 1713
  7484. 01:32:06,600 --> 01:32:08,284
  7485. Ooh!
  7486.  
  7487. 1714
  7488. 01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:11,688
  7489. Take us to the hospital
  7490. and I won't sue you!
  7491.  
  7492. 1715
  7493. 01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:14,487
  7494. This is bad.
  7495.  
  7496. 1716
  7497. 01:32:15,800 --> 01:32:17,882
  7498. - Okay, okay.
  7499. - Oh... This is really bad!
  7500.  
  7501. 1717
  7502. 01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:21,282
  7503. I need to call my patients and say sorry.
  7504.  
  7505. 1718
  7506. 01:32:21,480 --> 01:32:22,481
  7507. No.
  7508.  
  7509. 1719
  7510. 01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:24,802
  7511. This is not natural!
  7512.  
  7513. 1720
  7514. 01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:25,961
  7515. - Okay.
  7516. - God!
  7517.  
  7518. 1721
  7519. 01:32:26,120 --> 01:32:29,563
  7520. You're at 10 centimeters and you've already
  7521. entered the second phase of labor,
  7522.  
  7523. 1722
  7524. 01:32:29,720 --> 01:32:31,563
  7525. - known as active labor.
  7526. - What?
  7527.  
  7528. 1723
  7529. 01:32:32,040 --> 01:32:34,042
  7530. I went to medical school.
  7531. Is that so hard to believe?
  7532.  
  7533. 1724
  7534. 01:32:34,200 --> 01:32:35,201
  7535. Yes!
  7536.  
  7537. 1725
  7538. 01:32:35,400 --> 01:32:37,129
  7539. This is gonna happen, like, right now.
  7540.  
  7541. 1726
  7542. 01:32:37,320 --> 01:32:38,560
  7543. Get your foot off my tit.
  7544.  
  7545. 1727
  7546. 01:32:38,720 --> 01:32:40,085
  7547. Get your foot off my tit, okay?
  7548.  
  7549. 1728
  7550. 01:32:40,280 --> 01:32:41,930
  7551. It's coming. You are the cliché!
  7552.  
  7553. 1729
  7554. 01:32:42,080 --> 01:32:45,129
  7555. You are the lady who's about to
  7556. have a baby in the back of a taxi
  7557.  
  7558. 1730
  7559. 01:32:45,280 --> 01:32:48,170
  7560. and I'm the Australian-American hero
  7561. who's gonna make it happen!
  7562.  
  7563. 1731
  7564. 01:32:48,320 --> 01:32:50,129
  7565. - In the cab, though?
  7566. - Don't worry, Meg.
  7567.  
  7568. 1732
  7569. 01:32:50,280 --> 01:32:53,602
  7570. My hands and my mouth have both
  7571. been recently sterilized by vodka.
  7572.  
  7573. 1733
  7574. 01:32:53,760 --> 01:32:55,171
  7575. - Feels like it's coming out.
  7576. - No, no, no, no...
  7577.  
  7578. 1734
  7579. 01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:56,367
  7580. I'm going in. I'm going in.
  7581.  
  7582. 1735
  7583. 01:32:56,520 --> 01:32:57,601
  7584. - Chant with me!
  7585. - Hold it inside!
  7586.  
  7587. 1736
  7588. 01:32:57,800 --> 01:32:59,564
  7589. - We can do this.
  7590. - Do this.
  7591.  
  7592. 1737
  7593. 01:32:59,760 --> 01:33:01,922
  7594. We can do this.
  7595.  
  7596. 1738
  7597. 01:33:02,080 --> 01:33:03,491
  7598. We can do this, we can do this.
  7599.  
  7600. 1739
  7601. 01:33:05,720 --> 01:33:07,131
  7602. We're here! We're here!
  7603.  
  7604. 1740
  7605. 01:33:07,280 --> 01:33:08,361
  7606. - Get out. Get out.
  7607. - Okay, open the door.
  7608.  
  7609. 1741
  7610. 01:33:08,560 --> 01:33:09,891
  7611. - Shit, the door's...
  7612. - Open the door.
  7613.  
  7614. 1742
  7615. 01:33:10,040 --> 01:33:11,246
  7616. - It won't open!
  7617. - Open the door!
  7618.  
  7619. 1743
  7620. 01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:12,447
  7621. - It won't open!
  7622. - The door!
  7623.  
  7624. 1744
  7625. 01:33:12,600 --> 01:33:15,001
  7626. Wait! The window's working.
  7627. We just got to...
  7628.  
  7629. 1745
  7630. 01:33:15,160 --> 01:33:16,685
  7631. - What are you doing?
  7632. - The door's locked!
  7633.  
  7634. 1746
  7635. 01:33:17,200 --> 01:33:18,201
  7636. Just open the door!
  7637.  
  7638. 1747
  7639. 01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:19,841
  7640. It's coming out!
  7641.  
  7642. 1748
  7643. 01:33:20,160 --> 01:33:22,811
  7644. Robin! Okay, you have to help her!
  7645.  
  7646. 1749
  7647. 01:33:22,960 --> 01:33:24,803
  7648. You have to help her.
  7649. She's gonna help you, okay?
  7650.  
  7651. 1750
  7652. 01:33:24,960 --> 01:33:25,961
  7653. - I can't.
  7654. - Help her.
  7655.  
  7656. 1751
  7657. 01:33:26,160 --> 01:33:27,161
  7658. Come on!
  7659.  
  7660. 1752
  7661. 01:33:27,600 --> 01:33:29,090
  7662. Close your legs really tight.
  7663.  
  7664. 1753
  7665. 01:33:29,240 --> 01:33:30,605
  7666. Do not let it come out!
  7667.  
  7668. 1754
  7669. 01:33:32,040 --> 01:33:33,530
  7670. Robin, it was locked!
  7671.  
  7672. 1755
  7673. 01:33:35,480 --> 01:33:36,845
  7674. Come on!
  7675.  
  7676. 1756
  7677. 01:33:39,200 --> 01:33:40,326
  7678. - Oh! My purse.
  7679. - No, no, no, no!
  7680.  
  7681. 1757
  7682. 01:33:40,480 --> 01:33:41,811
  7683. - Keep it inside.
  7684. - It's coming out!
  7685.  
  7686. 1758
  7687. 01:33:41,960 --> 01:33:42,961
  7688. I need a... We need a wheelchair.
  7689.  
  7690. 1759
  7691. 01:33:43,120 --> 01:33:44,360
  7692. Jesus. Okay, don't let it come out!
  7693.  
  7694. 1760
  7695. 01:33:44,520 --> 01:33:45,851
  7696. - It's gonna come out.
  7697. - Don't let it come out.
  7698.  
  7699. 1761
  7700. 01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:47,889
  7701. - Wait, Meg. Meg! Meg!
  7702. - I need to... I need to push.
  7703.  
  7704. 1762
  7705. 01:33:48,080 --> 01:33:49,923
  7706. - It's coming out. It's coming out.
  7707. - Are you coming?
  7708.  
  7709. 1763
  7710. 01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:51,889
  7711. You don't need me anymore.
  7712.  
  7713. 1764
  7714. 01:33:55,240 --> 01:33:56,526
  7715. - Okay.
  7716. - Oh, God. Okay.
  7717.  
  7718. 1765
  7719. 01:33:57,200 --> 01:33:58,884
  7720. - I'm scared.
  7721. - I'm right here.
  7722.  
  7723. 1766
  7724. 01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:20,127
  7725. Hi.
  7726.  
  7727. 1767
  7728. 01:34:21,920 --> 01:34:23,046
  7729. I called him.
  7730.  
  7731. 1768
  7732. 01:34:25,200 --> 01:34:29,330
  7733. Look, I know you don't want me here,
  7734. but just listen to me, okay?
  7735.  
  7736. 1769
  7737. 01:34:30,400 --> 01:34:32,641
  7738. You like me. A lot.
  7739.  
  7740. 1770
  7741. 01:34:33,720 --> 01:34:34,767
  7742. And I like you.
  7743.  
  7744. 1771
  7745. 01:34:35,560 --> 01:34:37,642
  7746. And you're crazy. That's a fact.
  7747.  
  7748. 1772
  7749. 01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:40,930
  7750. Honestly, I think you're probably
  7751. just as crazy when you're not pregnant.
  7752.  
  7753. 1773
  7754. 01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:45,443
  7755. But I'm allowed to say that,
  7756. because I love you.
  7757.  
  7758. 1774
  7759. 01:34:47,560 --> 01:34:48,607
  7760. I love you.
  7761.  
  7762. 1775
  7763. 01:34:52,240 --> 01:34:53,765
  7764. I'm gonna come back later.
  7765.  
  7766. 1776
  7767. 01:34:56,440 --> 01:34:57,930
  7768. Thanks for calling.
  7769.  
  7770. 1777
  7771. 01:34:58,080 --> 01:34:59,286
  7772. Don't be weird.
  7773.  
  7774. 1778
  7775. 01:34:59,440 --> 01:35:01,124
  7776. Thank you, thank...
  7777.  
  7778. 1779
  7779. 01:35:02,120 --> 01:35:04,566
  7780. Well, are you gonna come meet her or not?
  7781.  
  7782. 1780
  7783. 01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:06,125
  7784. - Her?
  7785. - Mmm-hmm.
  7786.  
  7787. 1781
  7788. 01:35:07,160 --> 01:35:08,650
  7789. It's a "her"?
  7790.  
  7791. 1782
  7792. 01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:13,688
  7793. This is baby Madeline.
  7794.  
  7795. 1783
  7796. 01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:16,081
  7797. Oh, my God, look at you.
  7798.  
  7799. 1784
  7800. 01:35:16,960 --> 01:35:18,644
  7801. Happy Birthday, sweetheart.
  7802.  
  7803. 1785
  7804. 01:35:20,240 --> 01:35:21,651
  7805. She's beautiful.
  7806.  
  7807. 1786
  7808. 01:35:23,160 --> 01:35:25,162
  7809. And I think I love you, too.
  7810.  
  7811. 1787
  7812. 01:35:27,080 --> 01:35:29,811
  7813. I mean, I do love you,
  7814. I don't know why I just said that.
  7815.  
  7816. 1788
  7817. 01:35:29,960 --> 01:35:31,530
  7818. I really love you.
  7819.  
  7820. 1789
  7821. 01:35:31,680 --> 01:35:34,047
  7822. I really, really love you.
  7823.  
  7824. 1790
  7825. 01:35:34,200 --> 01:35:35,645
  7826. I mean, I don't...
  7827.  
  7828. 1791
  7829. 01:35:35,800 --> 01:35:38,485
  7830. I can totally handle
  7831. all of this by myself.
  7832.  
  7833. 1792
  7834. 01:35:38,640 --> 01:35:39,641
  7835. I'm an independent woman.
  7836.  
  7837. 1793
  7838. 01:35:39,800 --> 01:35:40,926
  7839. My God, seriously?
  7840.  
  7841. 1794
  7842. 01:35:41,200 --> 01:35:42,725
  7843. But I don't want to.
  7844.  
  7845. 1795
  7846. 01:35:43,400 --> 01:35:44,481
  7847. I don't.
  7848.  
  7849. 1796
  7850. 01:35:46,840 --> 01:35:47,841
  7851. Mmm.
  7852.  
  7853. 1797
  7854. 01:35:50,760 --> 01:35:51,761
  7855. - Hi.
  7856. - Mmm.
  7857.  
  7858. 1798
  7859. 01:35:53,320 --> 01:35:56,130
  7860. Doesn't she look like an alien?
  7861.  
  7862. 1799
  7863. 01:35:56,720 --> 01:35:59,371
  7864. You are the most beautiful alien
  7865. in the world.
  7866.  
  7867. 1800
  7868. 01:38:00,440 --> 01:38:01,441
  7869. Hi.
  7870.  
  7871. 1801
  7872. 01:38:02,280 --> 01:38:03,361
  7873. What do you want?
  7874.  
  7875. 1802
  7876. 01:38:03,800 --> 01:38:07,043
  7877. I wanted to tell you that I know
  7878. that I can do a lot of things on my own.
  7879.  
  7880. 1803
  7881. 01:38:07,200 --> 01:38:11,000
  7882. And I can unzip my own dress,
  7883. but I want you to do it for me.
  7884.  
  7885. 1804
  7886. 01:38:11,840 --> 01:38:13,569
  7887. That sounded really weird. Um...
  7888.  
  7889. 1805
  7890. 01:38:14,480 --> 01:38:16,323
  7891. I want you to watch me unzip my dress.
  7892.  
  7893. 1806
  7894. 01:38:16,480 --> 01:38:19,484
  7895. No, sorry. That sounded really sexual.
  7896. That's not what I meant.
  7897.  
  7898. 1807
  7899. 01:38:19,640 --> 01:38:22,484
  7900. What I meant is
  7901. I want to unzip my own dress
  7902.  
  7903. 1808
  7904. 01:38:22,640 --> 01:38:26,486
  7905. and I just want you to be around,
  7906. because you're my best friend.
  7907.  
  7908. 1809
  7909. 01:38:28,320 --> 01:38:29,651
  7910. And I love you.
  7911.  
  7912. 1810
  7913. 01:38:31,000 --> 01:38:32,968
  7914. And I'm totally in love with you, too.
  7915.  
  7916. 1811
  7917. 01:38:33,840 --> 01:38:35,569
  7918. This is more than just a friendship.
  7919.  
  7920. 1812
  7921. 01:38:36,360 --> 01:38:38,328
  7922. I'm so glad you feel the same way.
  7923.  
  7924. 1813
  7925. 01:38:40,000 --> 01:38:41,889
  7926. Just joking!
  7927.  
  7928. 1814
  7929. 01:38:42,240 --> 01:38:44,242
  7930. - Oh, my God.
  7931. - I got you.
  7932.  
  7933. 1815
  7934. 01:38:44,400 --> 01:38:46,050
  7935. Oh, but I do love you.
  7936.  
  7937. 1816
  7938. 01:38:46,200 --> 01:38:47,690
  7939. - And I missed you.
  7940. - Oh.
  7941.  
  7942. 1817
  7943. 01:38:48,040 --> 01:38:51,010
  7944. I've been having
  7945. Alice withdrawal, seriously.
  7946.  
  7947. 1818
  7948. 01:38:54,240 --> 01:38:56,561
  7949. Wait, are you kidding me?
  7950. Is this where you live?
  7951.  
  7952. 1819
  7953. 01:38:56,800 --> 01:39:00,282
  7954. Robin! This is your 500 square feet,
  7955.  
  7956. 1820
  7957. 01:39:00,440 --> 01:39:02,727
  7958. where you keep your clothes
  7959. and occasionally bathe?
  7960.  
  7961. 1821
  7962. 01:39:03,360 --> 01:39:04,600
  7963. Uh, yeah.
  7964.  
  7965. 1822
  7966. 01:39:05,040 --> 01:39:06,769
  7967. I'm super rich. Did I not mention that?
  7968.  
  7969. 1823
  7970. 01:39:06,960 --> 01:39:09,008
  7971. Wait. Why do we always
  7972. hang out at my place?
  7973.  
  7974. 1824
  7975. 01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:10,645
  7976. Why did you even work at the firm?
  7977.  
  7978. 1825
  7979. 01:39:12,040 --> 01:39:14,088
  7980. Wait, why do I pay for everything
  7981. all the time?
  7982.  
  7983. 1826
  7984. 01:39:15,360 --> 01:39:16,441
  7985. Wow.
  7986.  
  7987. 1827
  7988. 01:39:16,600 --> 01:39:19,410
  7989. Well, I didn't really need
  7990. to work at the firm.
  7991.  
  7992. 1828
  7993. 01:39:19,560 --> 01:39:22,723
  7994. I just really liked hanging out with you.
  7995.  
  7996. 1829
  7997. 01:39:22,880 --> 01:39:24,803
  7998. And screwing those two security guys.
  7999.  
  8000. 1830
  8001. 01:39:24,960 --> 01:39:26,086
  8002. Why do you have a scooter?
  8003.  
  8004. 1831
  8005. 01:39:26,240 --> 01:39:27,571
  8006. This is my indoor scooter.
  8007.  
  8008. 1832
  8009. 01:39:28,080 --> 01:39:29,411
  8010. I have the whole floor.
  8011.  
  8012. 1833
  8013. 01:39:29,640 --> 01:39:32,041
  8014. I have literally paid the bill,
  8015. every time we've gone out.
  8016.  
  8017. 1834
  8018. 01:39:32,200 --> 01:39:34,168
  8019. But that's how you stay super rich.
  8020.  
  8021. 1835
  8022. 01:39:34,560 --> 01:39:35,561
  8023. God!
  8024.  
  8025. 1836
  8026. 01:39:35,720 --> 01:39:37,131
  8027. You have so much to learn from me, still.
  8028.  
  8029. 1837
  8030. 01:39:37,320 --> 01:39:38,890
  8031. I want you to be my sugar-daddy.
  8032.  
  8033. 1838
  8034. 01:39:39,040 --> 01:39:40,724
  8035. I'll be your sugar-sister.
  8036.  
  8037. 1839
  8038. 01:39:41,880 --> 01:39:43,325
  8039. I thought you didn't do breakfast?
  8040.  
  8041. 1840
  8042. 01:39:43,600 --> 01:39:45,648
  8043. You're ruining it.
  8044.  
  8045. 1841
  8046. 01:39:48,080 --> 01:39:51,243
  8047. I've been thinking that
  8048. the time we have to be single,
  8049.  
  8050. 1842
  8051. 01:39:51,640 --> 01:39:54,723
  8052. is really the time we have
  8053. to get good at being alone.
  8054.  
  8055. 1843
  8056. 01:39:56,200 --> 01:39:59,568
  8057. But how good at being alone
  8058. do we really want to be?
  8059.  
  8060. 1844
  8061. 01:40:00,480 --> 01:40:04,087
  8062. Isn't there a danger
  8063. that you'll get so good at being single,
  8064.  
  8065. 1845
  8066. 01:40:04,240 --> 01:40:07,841
  8067. so set in your ways that you'll miss out
  8068. on the chance to be with somebody great?
  8069.  
  8070. 1846
  8071. 01:40:08,000 --> 01:40:09,240
  8072. Hello, hello, hello, hello.
  8073.  
  8074. 1847
  8075. 01:40:14,880 --> 01:40:17,451
  8076. Some people take baby steps
  8077. to settle down.
  8078.  
  8079. 1848
  8080. 01:40:25,080 --> 01:40:27,128
  8081. Some people refuse to settle at all.
  8082.  
  8083. 1849
  8084. 01:40:33,120 --> 01:40:35,168
  8085. Sometimes, it's not statistics.
  8086.  
  8087. 1850
  8088. 01:40:36,200 --> 01:40:38,328
  8089. It's just chemistry.
  8090.  
  8091. 1851
  8092. 01:40:40,840 --> 01:40:43,286
  8093. And sometimes, just because it is over,
  8094.  
  8095. 1852
  8096. 01:40:43,840 --> 01:40:45,968
  8097. doesn't mean the love ends.
  8098.  
  8099. 1853
  8100. 01:40:48,200 --> 01:40:51,124
  8101. Um... I want to talk to
  8102. you about your mom.
  8103.  
  8104. 1854
  8105. 01:40:52,720 --> 01:40:55,087
  8106. She got sick when you were really little
  8107.  
  8108. 1855
  8109. 01:40:55,240 --> 01:40:59,643
  8110. and I don't talk about her
  8111. because I still miss her.
  8112.  
  8113. 1856
  8114. 01:41:00,560 --> 01:41:01,641
  8115. Every day.
  8116.  
  8117. 1857
  8118. 01:41:03,360 --> 01:41:06,682
  8119. But we need to talk about her.
  8120.  
  8121. 1858
  8122. 01:41:07,640 --> 01:41:08,846
  8123. Who's that?
  8124.  
  8125. 1859
  8126. 01:41:09,240 --> 01:41:10,241
  8127. Me.
  8128.  
  8129. 1860
  8130. 01:41:10,680 --> 01:41:11,886
  8131. Who's that?
  8132.  
  8133. 1861
  8134. 01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:14,004
  8135. - Mommy.
  8136. - Yeah.
  8137.  
  8138. 1862
  8139. 01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:17,002
  8140. A lot of good memories in here.
  8141.  
  8142. 1863
  8143. 01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:23,480
  8144. I want to show you something.
  8145.  
  8146. 1864
  8147. 01:41:42,000 --> 01:41:44,241
  8148. The Eyes of You song.
  8149.  
  8150. 1865
  8151. 01:41:45,840 --> 01:41:47,524
  8152. The Eyes of You song.
  8153.  
  8154. 1866
  8155. 01:42:15,560 --> 01:42:17,767
  8156. Now I know why you never sing.
  8157.  
  8158. 1867
  8159. 01:42:18,200 --> 01:42:19,326
  8160. Why?
  8161.  
  8162. 1868
  8163. 01:42:19,480 --> 01:42:22,404
  8164. Because your voice is so bad.
  8165.  
  8166. 1869
  8167. 01:42:23,480 --> 01:42:26,324
  8168. What are you talking about?
  8169. That was excellent.
  8170.  
  8171. 1870
  8172. 01:42:26,800 --> 01:42:30,850
  8173. The thing about being single is,
  8174. you should cherish it.
  8175.  
  8176. 1871
  8177. 01:42:31,800 --> 01:42:36,010
  8178. Because, in a week,
  8179. or a lifetime, of being alone,
  8180.  
  8181. 1872
  8182. 01:42:36,800 --> 01:42:38,723
  8183. you may only get one moment.
  8184.  
  8185. 1873
  8186. 01:42:43,760 --> 01:42:48,084
  8187. One moment, when you're not tied up
  8188. in a relationship with anyone.
  8189.  
  8190. 1874
  8191. 01:42:49,120 --> 01:42:52,567
  8192. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend.
  8193.  
  8194. 1875
  8195. 01:43:02,320 --> 01:43:05,085
  8196. One moment, when you stand on your own.
  8197.  
  8198. 1876
  8199. 01:43:09,320 --> 01:43:11,288
  8200. Really, truly single.
  8201.  
  8202. 1877
  8203. 01:43:20,280 --> 01:43:21,361
  8204. And then...
  8205.  
  8206. 1878
  8207. 01:43:25,120 --> 01:43:26,565
  8208. It's gone.
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