2.13 - JKyy^ :j: why do you want to retire
2.13 - mkat is now Online.
2.13 - mkat: its shit
2.13 - mkat: playing in this team has killed my moti
2.13 - JKyy^ :j: what is shit
2.13 - mkat: nothing is improving and the break is killing us
2.13 - mkat: everything
2.13 - mkat: moti
2.13 - mkat: strats
2.14 - mkat: teamplay
2.14 - JKyy^ :j: if nothing is improving and you are taking a break surely there is something :P
2.14 - JKyy^ :j: maybe just wait till break is over
2.14 - JKyy^ :j: see how it goes from there
2.14 - mkat: i cant man
2.14 - mkat: everyone is emo
2.14 - mkat: i cant take it
2.14 - mkat: my moti has died for the game
2.14 - JKyy^ :j: for the game, or for the team
2.14 - JKyy^ :j: you need to make that distinction
2.15 - mkat: both
2.15 - mkat: its literally both
2.15 - JKyy^ :j: what has killed your moti for the game
2.15 - mkat: this fucking team has
2.15 - mkat: i dont play much anyway
2.15 - mkat: but now i dont want to play
2.15 - mkat: whatsoever
2.15 - mkat: the team needs a shot in the arm so to speak
2.16 - JKyy^ :j: have you tried playing only team pracc?
2.16 - mkat: yeah
2.16 - mkat: thats what i do jkyy
2.16 - mkat: legit all i do
2.16 - JKyy^ :j: then maybe you need to get into playing the game like you used to
2.16 - JKyy^ :j: before the team
2.16 - JKyy^ :j: how did you spend your time on cs?
2.16 - mkat: which was not playing at all
2.16 - mkat: i cant pug
2.16 - JKyy^ :j: why?
2.16 - mkat: i cant succeed in pugs
2.16 - mkat: *
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: i dont think you have tried the right way of pugging
2.17 - mkat: which is?
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: which is different for everyone
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: but
2.17 - mkat: i have no friends to pug with
2.17 - mkat: that i like playing with atleast
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: for me its 5 stacking high elo faceit or playing sfpl
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: it used to be soloq
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: but i've changed
2.17 - JKyy^ :j: do you play ukcl?
2.17 - mkat: fuck no
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: maybe try tripleQ faceit or 5 stacking it
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: i'd say 5 stacking, since its an effort to make it happen
2.18 - mkat: with who?
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: with whoever
2.18 - mkat: like no one plays
2.18 - mkat: ahaha
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: teammates
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: other puggers
2.18 - mkat: who i dont like?
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: well
2.18 - mkat: never get inved
2.18 - mkat: or anything
2.18 - mkat: like theres fuck all i can do
2.18 - JKyy^ :j: do you try to organise them yourself?
2.19 - JKyy^ :j: from my experience
2.19 - JKyy^ :j: if you make a few happen and you enjoy them
2.19 - JKyy^ :j: people will see that and invite you to further ones
2.19 - JKyy^ :j: and the cycle continues
2.19 - JKyy^ :j: you add new people
2.19 - JKyy^ :j: get a network of people to pug with
2.20 - mkat: meh idk
2.21 - JKyy^ :j: i would suggest trying ukcl
2.21 - JKyy^ :j: even tho you might think its cancer
2.21 - JKyy^ :j: unless you've tried it already
2.21 - mkat: maybe
2.21 - mkat: cba to pay for it though
2.21 - mkat: as well as esea faceit
2.21 - JKyy^ :j: then dont pay for faceit
2.21 - mkat: hm
2.23 - JKyy^ :j: From my pov: You've put a lot of time into cs and you've gotten really far for your age so I think quitting now would be a shame. I think you can get further and find enjoyment in playing cs and team cs
2.23 - mkat: im shit for my age
2.23 - mkat: theres so many fuckers better than me
2.23 - JKyy^ :j: Uhmm
2.23 - JKyy^ :j: No?
2.23 - mkat: uh yes im fucking terrible
2.23 - JKyy^ :j: How many 16 year olds from the UK are better than you?
2.23 - JKyy^ :j: or younger for that matter
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: Tadpole? Shit attitude wont get anywhere further
2.24 - mkat: bro attitude means fuck all
2.24 - mkat: i have a shit one as well
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: That's where you're wrong kiddo
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: And maybe you do
2.24 - mkat: your attitude to cs is what matters
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: I haven't teamed with you
2.24 - mkat: not to other people
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: yes
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: well
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: no
2.24 - mkat: is what ive learned
2.24 - mkat: peoples respect means fuck all in this scene
2.24 - JKyy^ :j: Why do you think your attitude towards others doesn't matter?
2.25 - mkat: in the sense that ive spent all my time trying to be kind and warm hearted
2.25 - mkat: and its gotten me nowhere
2.25 - JKyy^ :j: Would you have gotten further if you were a dickhead like ben price?
2.26 - mkat: maybe having the ego and confidence would elevate my motivation and skill
2.26 - mkat: its always a double edged sword
2.26 - JKyy^ :j: Confidence!=ego
2.26 - JKyy^ :j: Don't be like me who has no confidence at all irl or cs
2.26 - JKyy^ :j: Be like Jayski
2.26 - JKyy^ :j: He has a small ego but he is aware of it so it doesn't hurt
2.27 - JKyy^ :j: and he has confidence and is willing to make plays and win rounds
2.27 - mkat: i cant have an ego like that
2.27 - mkat: its not me
2.27 - mkat: inside
2.27 - JKyy^ :j: I feel like that aswell
2.27 - mkat: whenever ive been harsh or mean
2.27 - mkat: i hurt inside
2.27 - JKyy^ :j: Jayski is not harsh or mean
2.27 - mkat: i dont have the instinct or the drive to succeed and im coming to terms with it
2.27 - JKyy^ :j: He is the most kind person you will meet, but if you ask him who is better, he or coldzera he will say he
2.28 - mkat: ok
2.28 - JKyy^ :j: Listen to me
2.28 - JKyy^ :j: Rarely people will have the natural instinct or drive to succeed
2.28 - JKyy^ :j: Most people who succeed need to learn it
2.28 - JKyy^ :j: its a part of being succesfull
2.28 - JKyy^ :j: it comes with wanting something really badly
2.29 - mkat: i had it
2.29 - mkat: cs was everything i wanted
2.29 - JKyy^ :j: yeah, now you are older and wiser and you focus on school aswell
2.29 - mkat: when i broke my leg from football, i took advantage
2.29 - JKyy^ :j: since its the wiser investment
2.29 - JKyy^ :j: in terms of time
2.29 - mkat: and played 130 hours for summer
2.29 - mkat: all the time
2.29 - JKyy^ :j: however that doesn't mean they are one or the other
2.29 - mkat: and it got me to a bit below what i am now
2.29 - mkat: i struggle to demo watch
2.29 - mkat: i struggle to learn
2.29 - mkat: i struggle to self improv
2.29 - mkat: i dont have natural talent in abundance
2.30 - mkat: i have rage
2.30 - mkat: which is something i keep always
2.30 - mkat: thats all i have for drive
2.30 - JKyy^ :j: But fixing these issues in terms of cs will help you fix them for other stuff in life aswell, which can help you later
2.30 - JKyy^ :j: its not just going pro
2.30 - JKyy^ :j: its all the shit incorporated with it
2.30 - JKyy^ :j: You learn life lessons through cs
2.31 - mkat: but there is no one to teach
2.31 - mkat: i cant teach myself
2.31 - mkat: my habits have been formed
2.31 - JKyy^ :j: And what do you do to formed habits which you see as bad?
2.31 - JKyy^ :j: you motherfucking break them nigga
2.32 - JKyy^ :j: there won't always be someone to teach which is why you learn from mistakes
2.32 - JKyy^ :j: if there always was someone to teach you wouldnt need to make mistakes
2.32 - JKyy^ :j: would you rather make mistakes in cs or while in a job?
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: Trying to reach semi-pro cs is a really good hobby and teaches you a lot even if you don't make it
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: As long as it doesnt affect other parts of your life negatively
2.33 - mkat: i cant do it anymore
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: which is easy to manage
2.33 - mkat: i just cant fucking do it
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: Can't do what?
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: Play cs?
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: Be in a team?
2.33 - JKyy^ :j: https://twitter.com/nayzui/status/1009216471631790081
2.34 - JKyy^ :j: Fix this shit
2.34 - JKyy^ :j: See how things go
2.34 - JKyy^ :j: If nothing happens switch teams in the worst case
2.34 - JKyy^ :j: Or talk w your team about it
2.34 - JKyy^ :j: You can talk w shoobie about it for sure
2.34 - JKyy^ :j: Hopefully you don't think hes a bad guy
2.35 - JKyy^ :j: You've even learned things from this conversation already
2.35 - JKyy^ :j: There is so much advantegious stuff to learn from team cs
2.38 - JKyy^ :j: When are your next exams?
2.39 - mkat: their over
2.39 - JKyy^ :j: but like
2.39 - JKyy^ :j: when do you need to study hard the next time
2.39 - JKyy^ :j: like for A-levels right
2.39 - JKyy^ :j: or?
2.40 - mkat: next year
2.40 - JKyy^ :j: How many months
2.40 - JKyy^ :j: 12?
2.41 - mkat: basically
2.41 - mkat: but i need to still go to college
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: Ok
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: Stick it out for 6 months
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: If nothing changes for the better
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: Quit
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: 6 months of your life is not a long period
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: In CS it can be a huge amount of time
2.41 - JKyy^ :j: And if it fails you still have half a year to study hardcore and ace that shit
2.42 - mkat: im most likely quitting the team
2.42 - mkat: maybe not cs
2.42 - mkat: but maybe me leaving will bring the old me back
2.42 - JKyy^ :j: You quitting the team and searching for other stuff is fine
2.42 - JKyy^ :j: Don't quit team cs is  my proposal
2.43 - mkat: hm
2.45 - JKyy^ :j: What do you think