Midget Gun-Crafter Anon in Dragon Equestria: A Drunk Oneshot

Midget Gun-Crafter Anon in Dragon Equestria: A Drunk Oneshot

>you are anon
>fucking three and a half feet tall at that
>your midget status was solidly confirmed but it didn’t stop you from being good at what you did
>math, MasterCam and ideas didn’t give a fuck how tall you were
>you kinda wished you were taller though
>fucking tallfags had no trouble jumping the gap between the building’s crumbling foundations in this earthquake
>but NOOO, you had to be a fucking dwarf and this large crack in the floor was going to end you
>the fucking project manager for Cerberus
>was about to start a new plan for this bullpup line of rifles when all this shit started shaking
>fuck off, tectonic plates
>you had shit to do
>fucking trigger groups to design
>trigger groups for bullpups were goddamn headaches
>especially when you didn’t want them to be total shit, like every other bullpup
>you’d gotten into an argument with the retarded quality control manager again
>fucking douchebag
>then all this shit started shaking
>building was coming apart
>dumbass quality control asshole was probably in charge of the building’s quality control during construction
>falling to your death, you swore that you’d haunt his retarded ass from beyond the grave
>your fall was broken by some cracking, broken 440 volt 3 phase wires
>everything went multicolored for a few seconds
>you felt like you were inside a huge vibrating dragon dildo for a while
>hopefully it was a dragon dildo, those things were neat as fuck with the cum lube
>you wake up, naked, cold in the middle of a field of pretty flowers
>sneezing like the short, congested motherfucker you are
>you sit up
>didn’t you just fucking die or something?
>you’d expected a closed casket deal, as industrial current would have most likely made you look like a chunk of charred T-bone steak thrown into a blender
>nope, you were just fucking naked in some goddamn field
>well fuck
>you rub your face
>at least you weren’t dead
>where the fuck were you anyhow
>you get moving, at a neck-breaking pace of like 2 miles an hour
>fucking tiny legs
>you don’t even know where you’re going, but at least the activity is fending off the cold
>this isn’t so bad
>everything is colorful and pretty
>you could probably live off the goddamn dandelions and clovers in the grass for a while
>there’s something in the distance
>seems to be houses or buildings…
>you feel a little awkward
>you’re approaching a settlement while being a naked as fuck midget
>oh whatever, it’s not like this is anything new in the humiliating world of being three and a half fucking feet tall
>you walk into this weird ass town with your back straight and your third fucking leg out
>you were a prideful tripod
>one thing about how small you were, it sure made your solid-sized wang look pretty good
>what in all that is fuck
>why are there p0nies here, and no people
>apart from some green pony sitting back on a bench, it seems that all the inhabitants here just run away in fright
>the ‘fuck is up with that one anyway
>she had this huge grin on
>staring
>mostly at your wang
>this old p0ny lady had left her shawl and was busy running away at the breathtaking speed of a snail’s pace, so you picked up the garment and used it as a toga
>toga party up in this bitch
>you walk in with your 42 inches of height, proudly acting as ambassador of Earth
>six of those colorful fucking ponies walk up
>welp, better say hello
“Hello, small pony creatures!  I am Anonymous U. N. Owen of Earth.  Pleased to meet you all.”
>they probably can’t even talk or anything but it’s not like it matters when you’ve been used as a fuse for a 3 phase electri-
“Hello?” says one of the tiny horse things
>holy shit, they can talk
“Hi?” you reply
>you should really find yourself some proper clothing if you’re going to be an ambassador for the first meeting with a new sentient species…
>you imagine a nice suit, properly tailored around your waist
>a good wool suit, with a straight black tie
>you’re now wearing a really nice tailored suit
>what the fuck
>it’s a little formal, the flat white shirt was just as you had imagined it, no cufflinks, just regular buttons
>this is good enough though
>wait
>how did a suit just appear on you
>what the fuck
>your head hurt a little
>the p0ny things in front of you looked a little confused
>where did the shawl/toga go?
“Is everything alright?” the purple unicorn asks
"Why are you here, anyway?" asks one of the pastel-hued p0nies
"Is he a magician?  I've seen them change clothing really fast!  Maybe he's a show-creature!  Hopefully he's not like Trixie, though...  She wasn't really that ba-
>the hyperactive pink one is cut off by an orange, hat-wearing pony shoving her hoof in the cotton-candy pony's mouth
>they tell you that you’re pretty weird but that you don’t look like a dragon
“I don’t think he’s with them, even if he looks strange…” says this little green dude
>apparently he’s a dragon, but he’s a good dragon
>you still have no idea how your bitchin’ suit came into existence
>they inform you that there’s this fucked up war going on between the dragons and the Kingdom of Equestria
>these p0nies are being attacked by this territorial and aggressive race of dragons, who have this new leader dragon
>this leader dragon guy happens to be a huge dick and is launching an all-out attack against these peaceful p0nes
>this “Princess Celestia” and “Princess Luna” were all badass and stuff but they couldn’t do everything by themselves
>the six p0nies in front of you were apparently part of this super-weapon called “The Elements of Harmony”
>you had no idea where this put you in comparison, you were just some goddamn midget
>it becomes apparent to you that you really aren’t in Kansas anymore
>what the fuck
>they tell you that it’s good you came to this village instead of out in the forest over there, they say that there have been reports of dragons attacking in that direction
>it felt like you’d need some fucking Szecsei & Fuchs over-under double 700 Nitro Express rifle if you didn’t want to get used as an hors d'oeuvres
>it was a beautiful action, in any case
>the bolt handle worked a cam that would rotate both bolt bodies and drove the massive cases back and forth
>exquisite grade 12+ walnut to complete the look
>you’d never be able to afford one, even on your generous paycheck
>why were you holding one in your hands now?
>you were just imagining it the flawless, machined and polished structure in our mind
>the massive bolt lugs and rifling grooves
>the breathtaking walnut stock that held the masterly-crafted action
>now your hands were wrapped around it
>the short stock was fitting your length of pull like a glove
“Anon?  What just happened?” asks that purple unicorn p0ny
“I don’t know” you reply
>you had simply imagined it
>thought of how it had been built
>how it had been machined, how the steel had been worked, treated, finished
>and it had appeared out of thin air
>just what in all of fuck is going on
>the rifle was really nice and all
>REALLY nice
>even had shorter barrels for balance and had brake ports so it didn’t knock you right off your tiny ass
>but this still didn’t explain why you had an S&F over-under bolt action
“What is that thing anyway?” asks this blue pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane
>you're about to reply but your train of thought is interrupted by a blinding bolt of pain
"Hhhhhmmgggrr..."
>probably not an answer that explains a lot to the inquisitive bunch
>you crumble, barely able to hold the rifle off the ground
>your head may be splitting apart and you may traumatize these fucking tiny colorful horses when your cranium fails under the massive torture you're feeling, but you'd be damned if this rifle was gonna get scratched up
>you roll and fall on your back, keeping the 14 pound gun over your chest and away from the soil
>you faintly hear voices
>you can't really see or hear very well over how much this fucking hurts
>you press your hands against your temples, as if to contain this pressure in your domecase
>you think you started yelling at one point
>your eyes crossed and you black out
>you come around, you're in a bed
>your suit is a little wrinkled up, but it doesn't look ripped up
>you look around
>little dizzy
>the rifle is propped up against the wall
>so talking horses, rifles appearing out of nowhere
>this suit also just materialized out of thin air
>man, what the fuck kinda drugs were you on
>maybe this is just some wack as fuck coma dream or something
>you did remember falling into some open and live industrial cables
>you could be dead
>dying
>or just tripping balls 'cause your brains have gotten sauté'd by high amp current
>this was one fucked afterlife in any case
>the pain felt real
>it could be a dream thing, the crazy as fuck setting does make this somewhat plausible
>didn't explain the pain thought
>thankfully, your head wasn't trying to kill you anymore
>you start moving off the fluffy mattress
"I think he's awake" says a voice, out of sight
>you hop off the bed, they seem to have smaller frames but it was still a few feet of the ground
>landing wasn't too unsteady, the fine leather soles of your shoes hit with a tap
>damn, this is Armani shit right here
>you aren't dizzy anymore
>all things considered, this isn't bad
>you're still alive in some way
>the door opens and that purple one with the horn walks in, behind some white pony with a red cross ass tattoo
"Hello?" you say
>feels weird to try to talk to animals like they're people, but they had proven to be able to speak
"Hi...  Umm... I'm nurse Redheart.  Glad to see you're feeling better...  I believe you've met miss Twilight Sparkle already"
>you freeze for a half second
"Bwahahaha...  Oh wow...  Wait..."
>you just burst out laughing in their faces
>"Twilight Sparkle"?
>gaaayyyy
>however it seems they were serious and this was their names
>awkward
>they look at each other, perplexed
"Oh...  Sorry, I was just...  Nevermind.  I'm Anon, Anon U. N. Owen.  Pleased to meet you, Nurse…"
>smooth
>about as smooth as a cheese grater but shit, you should be given a break, this isn't some cocktail party for fuck's sake
"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Owen...  Nurse, is he alright?" says Twilight
"Just Anon is fine" you butt in
"I can't find anything that would indicate that he isn't okay, but I've never seen something like him so it's hard to tell..." replies the nurse
"I feel fine now, actually" you say
>nurse Redheart gives you a warm smile
"how long was I out for anyhow?" you ask
"Only a few hours, sir" she replies
"Well if you feel better, I'm going to have to check you out right now.  We have some injured p0nies coming in from what used to be a patrol..." continues the nurse
>dang, that's heavy
"thanks for everything, sorry about taking up a bed..." you reply
>hospitable creatures, even to a stranger
>you grab the S&F and head to the door
"Anon?  I was wondering if you'd answer some questions I have..." says Twilight
"I guess?"
>you didn't really feel like being interrogated right now
"Looks like you have questions of your own, maybe we can help each other out" she says
>little horse is now speaking your language
>nurse Redheart's hoof is tapping impatiently
"Sure.  How about we take it outside..." you say
>you start talking while walking
>goddamn sparkle butt is bombarding you with questions
>most of which you have no fucking idea how to even answer
>you slip in a question here and there, trying to get your bearings
>bitch is fast on her...  Hooves
>she doesn't miss a beat
>she's just drowning you in questions as you exit the hospital place thing
"I don't know!  I've never even heard of these things just popping out of nowhere.  Back where I come from, this is all impossible!" you finally cry out
>you get it across that to you, this whole place and everything in it is crazy and impossible, that you're actually an oddity on your own world due to your height and have no idea why you got a sudden headache that KO'd you solidly
"I mean last thing I remember, I was at work, in a building, there was this crazy earthquake, I fell down a huge crack in the floor and landed on really high voltage wires so to answer your question about how I got here, your guess is as good as mine.  For all I know, I could be dead or my brain could be fried and I'm in a crazy coma or something."
>her ears drop against her head and she seems to take your words hard
"Gosh Anon...  I'm sorry...  I didn't know..."
>you kinda took it out on a little p0ny that was only curious
"Hey, look...  I didn't mean to snap.  This is all so messed up, it's not your fault or anything"
>your efforts to cheer her up have somewhat paid off
>she doesn't look like someone told her that her puppy died or something
>you try to change the subject
"I could really go for some food though..."
>a big plate of gravy-laden fries, topped with cheese curds...
>you haven't had that Canadian artery-clogging culinary suicide dish in a while
>you think about the hot, salted fries and thick, dark gravy
>melting white cheese curds
>you are now holding a hot poutine
>FUCKING WIN
"Anon?  What did you conjure up this time?  How do you do that anyway?" asks a befuddled Twilight
>you make a fork appear in your hand, almost drooling at the perfectly-layered mess in front of you "I don't even know, I just imagine it, think about how it's made and concentrate on my desire for it and it just appears..." you answer, your words muffled partly by the enthusiasm you have in the ingestion of this shit
>you start digging in, having finished your answer
>yeah, it didn't really clear anything up for her but who cares
>this thing is fucking delicious
>you're halfway done when it hits
"oooh shit..." you say
>headache rolls in like a wave of pain
>you are not hungry anymore
>the pain isn't blinding this time
>it friggin' hurts though
>feel like a really solid brain freeze
>not that hot poutine would give you such discomfort, unlike shotgunning a huge frosty or something
>you sit down, setting the half-finished platter next to you
"You okay? Anon?"
>she looks worried
>it is really smarting
>much, much less painful compared than the first time around
>but you can still see and hear, even if it does hurt quite a bit
"I think I'm gonna be okay...  It's my head again.  Last time it hurt so much, I thought I was gonna die.  Now it's just a really bad headache..." you reply, wincing at the pangs of pain
>Twilight still looks a little worried
>then she goes back to curious
>sniffing at your meal
"What is this anyway? Smells pretty good..."
>she eyes the food
"It's some junk food from a country to the north of where my country is, back where I'm from" you answer
>your head is slowly getting better
>she seems to get closer, snout nearing a cheese-covered fry
"Heeeeeeeyyyyy...  Hooves off!" you warn
>she recoils like a kid startled by his mother, hand in a cookie jar
>you chuckle, even with the headache
"I'm joking, you can try it if you want...  I think I'm done for today…"
>funny how pain can cut your appetite
>the headache is ever so slowly subsiding
"Anon, this is so salty...  And delicious..."
>you look back and the horned p0ny had taken a chunk of the remaining food
>little line of gravy on her bottom lip
>you ask her about her horn
>she tells you she's a unicorn that can do magic
>apparently these fluffy equines can fly and wield magic like it’s nothing
>well the unicorns anyway
>the p0nies with the wings fly and shit
>you’re still reeling from this shit
>so this is normal life for these goddamn 4 hoofed p0ny things
>they have goddamn magic and flight and shit
>that's fucking crazy, she isn't a wizar-
>wait
>you have no right to question her statement after you blinked a rifle, a suit and some food out of thin air
>touché, logic
>as crazy as that logic could be, as you're surrounded by colorful mini-horses and shit
"Hunh.  Is it anything like what I can do?" you ask
"Well, kinda...  Here, look" she replies
>her horn glows
>well shit
>she vanishes and reappears with a pink sparkly flash, about ten feet from where she previously stood
>she is a wizard!
"Holy shit!  Can you do other things?"
>you start floating off the ground
"Oh my fuck! Oh shit what the hell?!"
>she giggles and slowly sets you down
>you've pretty much forgotten your headache
"Was I just flying?  That was so awesome..."
>pure motherfucking magic
>this is how magnets worked
"You know Anon, I'm not sure if our magic is the same...  You just seem to make things appear out of thin air, and magic doesn't really work like that.  Plus, when I use my magic, I just get tired, you seem to get headaches..."
>that did make sense, you hadn't really suspected that your conjuration or whatever was really related
>it quickly became apparent that you're really not using magic like how it's supposed to be used, or something
>Twilight tells you that she'd like to study this further, but it's best if she joined the others
>seems there has been an evacuation order, those dragon things that attacked the scout party are apparently on their way here
>estimated time of arrival is tomorrow morning
>they were being kept at bay by the valiant Equestrian Defense force, under Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's united rule, but they wouldn't hold forever
>just what the fuck is going on here anyway?
>they'd already mentioned something about dragons and stuff
>this felt pretty serious
>sure, these ponies had magic and stuff, but if this was like...  Actual dragons and shit...  With fire, flying house-sized mythical creatures? Would end up pretty bad for the p0nies
>you hope your double rifle would be enough
>it was made to fire 1000 grain brass solids at like 1900ft/s, from your barrel length anyhow
>just your luck
>you can do this funky magic shit, in a world of weird little p0nies and fucking dragons have to come in and fuck it up
>the night ended up being pretty sleepless
>you helped them carry essentials and stuff to a comically colored train
>fucking faggot cartoon train, holy shit
>you get to actually meet the rest of Twilight's friends
>your first meeting had been cut pretty short by you screaming, passing out and by the evacuation order throwing chaos around
>pretty cool bunch
>you're checking out the wings on Rainbow Dash
>she's showing them off like they’re made of gold
>apparently she's some super fast flier here or something
>your conversation is cut short by smoke rising in the distance
>Twilight says it's really time to go
>you're having a hard time keeping up with them as they gallop across the train station to get to a passenger wagon
"Hop on, little guy!" says Rainbow as she does an aileron roll to set down right next to you
>if there was no impending threat of fiery death, you'd be pretty pissed right now for the "little guy" comment
>you jump on her back and she takes off
>holy shit
>you forget the comment
>you're fucking flying on a goddamn pegasus p0ny
>she looks gay as fuck with the rainbow mane but holy balls you're fucking flying
>Rainbow dives back down to enter the train
>that little hop across the train station was fucking wild
>flying = next level awesome
>the train starts moving a few seconds later, everyone made it just fine
>damn horses and their fast legs
>the train speeds up, chugging along for a few minutes
>you start to relax
>you’re about to hoof bump Dash for the ride
>suddenly, the whole train shakes like a goddamn demented bull
>you're all thrown forwards
>loud crashing noises
>you hit your head on a wooden armrest and was sent tumbling into an already multiple p0ny pileup
>ow fuck
>the train seems to have stopped
>maybe someone had the good faith to put this gay ass train out of its misery
>however, this thing was your only hope to escape the doomed P0nyville
>it was now all messed up
>what now?
>loud screeching and crashing noises
>you stick your head out of a broken window
>ohhhhhh shit
>there's a fucking dragon
>he's wailing on the train
>dousing the engine with fire and ensuring that the front section is proper fucked up
>this was bad
>the dragon was fucking massive
>ten stories tall
>pissed off
>you look at the S&F
>it's a goddamn peashooter compared to that monster
>you'd just piss it off
>then it would walk over and rape you all
>six lines form across the sky
"the Wonderbolts!" exclaims Dash
>dafuk?
"They're the top fliers in Equestria, they'll hold off the dragon until we can get to safety" she continues
>sounds like a plan
>you all start getting off the train
>huge, black shapes fill the sky
>mother of god
>dragons in the distance
>dozens of them
>they're fucking huge, all coming this way
>those Wonderbolt pegasi are getting the dragon's attention
>you wish them the best
"We gotta go help them somehow, girls" says Dash
"How?  We can't fight a dragon, Rainbow" replies Twilight
>you know those times where you say something when you really should have kept your mouth shut
"well this rifle might take down a dragon" you blurt
>they all look at you
>this was one of those times where you should have kept your goddamn mouth shut
"You sure, Anon?"
>hahaha no
"Technically...  Probably...  But I'd need to get a good shot at its eye..."
>wow, you're just spelling out your own death now
>so much for staying quiet
"Hop on, Anon!  If we don't do something, that dragon is going to end us all..." says Rainbow
>she doesn't really give you a choice
>she pulls a flying back flip and scoops you right off the ground
>you are now on her back
>flying
>you were probably going to die soon but this was awesome
>really awesome
>Dash kicked it up a notch, flying in at breakneck speeds
>you slung the rifle into ready carry, trying to hold onto Rainbow
>you pull the bolt back about an inch
>two full chambers stare back at you
>mag is full too
>you have six rounds of this shit
>then you'll have to "make" more
>hopefully the headache that would ensue wouldn't give you too much trouble
>seems that the more complicated and bigger the thing you created, the worse the headache was
>a couple of rounds of ammo shouldn't be too bad
>safety off as you swing closer to the dragon
>the huge beast hasn't noticed you yet, Dash is skillfully staying right where it's not looking
"Get ready, Anon!  We're getting close!"
>you bring the rifle up
>you're within fifty yards now
>you're also on a very strangely moving platform and the dragon isn't sitting still
"Closer!" you yell
>she pushes forward
>the dragon turns, facing you dead on
>you squeeze the first, 3 pound trigger
BO-fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>your ears ring very solidly
>the porting saved you from being thrown off Dash
>you weren't heavy to begin with and these rifles had a healthy kick
>but now you were dizzy and your ears rang
>that hurt
>the dragon recoils back, hands moving to its face
>it seems to shake
>its mouth is all bloody
>you blew a few of its teeth out
>it locks eyes with you
>ohhhhh shit
>you done fucked up
>oh wait
>you get the rifle back on target
>you move your digit to the second trigger
>Dash bucks down sharply
>the gun barks out again
>you hear something like a muffled "pow" over the ringing
>you blink the recoil tears out of your eyes and you see that the dragon is bleeding from the face, but it's still very much alive
>Rainbow is having a hard time
>her ears are bleeding
>her ears are right behind the muzzle
>with the gill ports, that's probably the worst place to be
>you crouch down and tap on the side of her neck, hoping to get her attention
“NO GOOD, I MISSED” you yell
“WHAAAAAAAAAAT?”
“NOOO GOOOD, IIII MIIIIIIIISSSSSSED” you scream at the top of your lungs in her ear that’s bleeding less
“OHH, I’LL TRY TO GET YOU CLOSER” she replies, as loudly
>the ride is interesting
>Dash dodges the swinging claws, swooping tail and fire with great skill
>but when she isn’t dodging she’s really not keeping a straight line
>her sense of balance is pretty trashed
>she’s doing really well, however
>too well
>MUCH TOO WELL OH GOD
“IS THIIIIIS CLOSE ENOUGH?” she hollers
>she landed on the fucker’s head
>what the fuck, Rainbow
>the dragon hasn’t even noticed
>he’s looking around, seeking you out, while you try to keep your balance
>Dash’s eyes are full of tears
>her ears must be killing her right now
>she’s hugging the top of the dragon’s head, holding on for dear life
>you look at her
>you work the bolt
>you put the rifle’s muzzle against the top of the Dragon’s noggin and pull both triggers
P-POweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>fuck your ears with a fruitcake
>the dragon goes limp
>you’re falling and Dash comes alive again, swooping under you
>she’s like a fish in the sea when she’s flying
>why is it so dark
>the sun seems to blot out from the sky
>above you is another dragon
>you work the bolt again
>Dash rockets up, and the wind is so strong it stings your eyes
>she pulls a barrel roll and you end up upside down over the dragon
>you’re holding onto her stomach with your legs
>you line up with the top of its skull again
>the rifle’s double barrels just make a thump in your chest now
>the dragon makes a nosedive, but it seems the hits weren’t placed just right
>fucker has a really hard skull
>Rainbow aileron rolls out of the upside-down flight
>the dragon dips left and fires a flaming jet at you both
>Rainbow actually fucking circles around the jet going towards the scaled foe
>you conjure up more ammo in the gun
>over the ringing, you barely notice the headache
>you send one right in its open mouth and the flame thrower stops
>that dragon glides down to earth
>you have ruined its day, but it glares at you
>it looks very displeased
>Dash gives chase, she’s not scared now that it doesn’t have fire to spit at you
>she heads right for the thing’s snout
>pulls up at the last second, and you let the other round off right into the dragon’s eyeball
>holding onto Rainbow’s mane, you look back with satisfaction at the dragon’s limp body
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW”
>Dash is getting tired but she’s not out of energy yet
>you guys level out and you work the bolt
>who’s next?
>Rainbow sprints forward, clearing a large cliffside
>everything gets much, much warmer
>you look behind you and there’s a massive wall of fire
>Rainbow’s burst of speed saved the both of you from a flaming ambush
>three small dragons scatter from the cliff as you let off two rounds
>you spot one flying with difficulty and let him have the other two brass solids
>you work the bolt and conjure up some more rounds in the magazine
>your head is pounding, but you can get Tylenol later
>you head towards the nearest dragons
>big group of really big dragons
>they scatter
>what really?
>don’t they want some delicious 700 Nitro Express medicine?
>they really fly off in random directions
>fucking pussies
>a goddamn midget riding the pegasus pride parade with a pea shooter scared them off
>ha
>or maybe what you thought was a mountain that was actually a crouching dragon ten times the size of the others started moving about and decided it was time to stop fucking around
>you take off three pairs of sunglasses in a row
>mother of god
>it’s so fucking huge
>it takes off, and just a wingbeat throws you both off course for a football field’s worth
>Rainbow’s speed doubles, even over the massive maelstrom of wind
>she dives down to get even more speed
>you hold on for dear life
>you hear a thundering crack over the hearing damage
>the sky behind you explodes with color
>the pegasus leaves a rainbow trail behind a massive rainbow explosion
>you will never pick a fight with a fucker flagging rainbow colors ever again
>you can barely see over the strong wind
>you both fly right past the gargantuan dragon’s claws
>you let both barrels go right between the huge beast’s eyes
>the both of you fly right past its head
>a wicked, building sized tail roars towards you and Dash spirals out of the way
>that thing’s tail disturbed the air so much that Rainbow’s speed is cut
>didn’t seem like the rifle had much effect
>you work the bolt again, chambering two rounds
>Rainbow skims the beast’s scales, tracing up around his back, getting closer to its head
>this guy was the fucking boss dragon of boss dragons
>it would have none of this shit
>goddamn mall-sized arm swings around to obliterate you both but Rainbow makes a goddamn bolt of lightning look slow
>you hug on tightly as she pulls move after move that threatens to make you black out
>g-force like a motherfucker
>she spirals up past the beast’s snout and stops in mid-air, almost taunting it
>you just wait for the leader dickbag dragon to open its mouth
>teeth are the size of schoolbuses
>how in all of fuck did he get this big
>this is just silly
>you let off four rounds in the open maw
>the massive dragon shakes his head and coughs
>you are feeling pretty hopeless
“IT’S NOT WORKING, ANON” yells Rainbow
>you know this
>you were running out of ideas
>you needed a bigger gun
“RAINBOW, I NEED YOU TO GET ABOVE HIM AGAIN”
>she pushes her tired body, accelerating straight up
>you can feel her trying to catch her breath, straining
>you have only one chance at this
“I am the Bone of my Rifle”
>155mm bore
“Steel is my Body and Fire is my Blood.”
>you just need the barrel, breech and loaded round
“I have created over a Thousand Guns”
>the dragon is turning up to face you both as you dive down towards him
“Unknown to Death”
>you could feel the gun, the construction of the metal
“Nor known to Life.”
>this is gonna hurt a lot
“Have withstood Pain to create many Weapons”
>you hope you seriously just pass out so that you don’t feel the headache
“Yet those Hands will never hold Anything.”
>you stare at the huge dragon get closer, his huge maw opens
“So, as I Pray—“
>the massive cannon materializes in front of you, fire control around your hand
“Unlimited Shooting Works”
---
>Scootaloo looks at Rainbow, highly doubting even her own idol’s words
“That so did not happen!  You probably just ran away from the boss dragon or something.  There’s no way Anon made a huge cannon appear out of nowhere to defeat that monster…” she says
"Speak up, Scoots.  My hearing isn't what it used to be." says the weathered multicolored pegasus
>Scootaloo repeats herself loudly as Dash leans towards the excited filly
>Rainbow finally nods and replies
“It’s all true, girls.  I was there!  Would you believe me if I told you that on top of that, that something…  Miraculous happened before Anon disappeared?”
>Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootalloo all get close to Dash, eagerly waiting for this revelation
>Dash even pauses for dramatic effect, but finally, she says
“After the cannon went off, it dropped on the dragon's hand and we landed on top of the fiery wreckage.  Next thing I know, Anon is holding his rifle like a guitar as cords appear on the side, and another gun-guitar just appears in my hooves”
>Dash turns and looks up, eyes brim full of tears, trying to hide her show of emotions to the fillies, casting a bittersweet glance at the guitar-rifle mounted on the wall

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEpcS1r9-m4

“We rocked out, dancing on the boss dragon’s corpse until Anon just vanished”