Official Resignation

[Ryanark - Friday, 31st of May 2019]

It is time.
I've realized it is time.
It is time to abandon this ship.
Before I become lost with it.

It may come as a great surprise to some of you that I have officially resigned, I bet most of you must have never thought that such a person like me, in players own words: an "OG" or a person described as someone who has had a great impact on the server. From a lot of players' perspectives, I hold a very big responsibility, that of running the server that brings people fun and enjoyment. Endless hours of fun. But what I can bring is not what people can bring to me in return, not that I nor players expected me to deserve some sort of gratitude.

For the past weeks, even months I've carried a backpack of stress, bottled-up feelings, and emotions which proved strenuous for me and I've done the best I could to hold that in. Something as little and as insignificant as an RP situation could make me go nuts and give me lots of stress, limiting me in my college work and assignments among other things such as keeping hobbies, balancing social life and lastly the server proved too much for me. If you were to put it on a scale, SchoolRP would outweigh all of those factors by three tonnes, I struggle to put into words of how many sleepless nights and how many times my heart has dropped when someone even mentions SchoolRP.

Dread caused by players, drama, rulebreakers, GangRP, PoliceRP, and other things on the server contributes to my downfall but what I say to you the players will only be lost in translation as I am really the only one who understands why I am doing this. After three, almost four years of playing on this server, although there have been some hiccups on the way here I have enjoyed the journey a lot and I will forever reminisce about these memories I've had.

Although in retrospect it seems almost stupid, childish to miss the times I've had here neither bad or good. It's a Minecraft server, and I'll be honest I am growing out of Minecraft a little, or maybe the server itself however I struggle to abandon it. But I've figured out how to abandon it; Step one is leaving SchoolRP. By letting all this unnecessary, useless, and unwarranted stress and anxiety go, I can start to embrace life itself and instead focus more on my social life, education, and future career.

I encourage a lot of you here to do the same as me, even if it pains me greatly - as SchoolRP had brought majority good memories and fun friends, it is outweighed by smaller, but more heavy bad memories and friends. Do not get me wrong - the server is really fun and compelling, and the RP is incredibly fun if you've got friends and that makes this resignation hurt even more than it already did. In hindsight, I feel as if the server is going in the wrong direction, and you can't reverse a ship that's already sailed, can you? I feel as if it is time I abandon ship and instead swim on, in a different direction joined by a school - not a SchoolRP but a school of different fish...

So, whether you're a GangRPer, cop, adult, student or just a normal average player - I can say that I respect all of you as much. There is no point in having an altercation with edgy, wannabe-gangster teenagers and 12-year-olds even if my one duty was to be a martyr of the police force or however you can view it from your perspective.

I struggle to leave with the fact that I am potentially letting tons of people down, but I can cope with it since I have just woken up and realized - It's a fucking game. It does not matter what I do. Leave or stay, it does not matter. In the end, it is always a game and it is very evident many of you still haven't realized this. Still, you fight and wrestle with yourself and others in your sociopathic frenzy of drama, backstabs, and lies, and puppetry. Soon you'll realize yourself you're a puppet. Puppet of someone dear and close, deny it all you want. I will not say any names - all I wanted to do myself, is to get my life in order and take the step to become a mature, sane person unlike many of you.

Some of you really need to take a humanity class because I would think you're some kind of alien from a different universe with the way you are treating some people with your sociopathic or maybe even psychopathic tendencies. Many of you who are reading this either have no idea what I am talking about or you are just now realizing what I'm saying, there are no in-betweens.

Take the step to becoming a more mature person, and live up to your mistakes, and face your fears and the dread, I say.

Before I finish this long ramble of an "official" resignation - I would like to leave some personal words for some people here, player or staff member;

Duckings - You've been with me since the damn beginning. I don't know how the fuck you didn't just deny my stupid ass the 2nd time I tried to come back to the server. I cannot thank you enough for the chances you have given me as a staff member and I am unable to explain how good of a friend you were - even if you don't respond to mine or anyone's messages or you acted like a dick sometimes, I thank you for these opportunities and chances you've given a person like me. Thank you.

Infold - An absolute legend, you are. A good friend, second opinion, and someone whom I could go to when I needed help with something. You're a trooper and a great Italian as well as Police Officer. Thank you for your friendship and I wish you great luck with that treasure of mine. Thank you.

Fayble - You never fail to make me laugh, and although I feel like a groupie or a sidewinder when I'm in calls with you, you never disregarded me or was a dick on purpose. You were there when I asked for help both with the server and emotional help and for advice. Your staff skills are impeccable, and I can 100% recommend you for S.A rank. I hope you get it. I never thought a weed-smoking town-house-living hoodlum could make such a great therapist and best friend. Although I'm not sure you considered me one, I consider you a best friend. Thank you for all the moments we've had and I really hope we get to play sometime after I've left. Thank you.

Ehku - God, I don't even know where to begin. You and Fayble are the duo in my eyes and I could never see you two apart, ever. Your monotone and nasally voice add a more comedic effect to your epic one-liners and quotes, and they never fail to make me laugh. You've been a friend at my side, whenever I needed help or advice. You're a funny and nice guy who tries his best to be kind to people. Thank you.

greehn - Although at times when the call was quiet, you were always talking and trying to start a conversation. Even if I got a tad annoyed, in hindsight I know and appreciate the fact that you try to keep us entertained and the conversation alive. You're a hard-working but a stickler for a staff member, you do great work and is someone who is eligible for top-tier S.A rank. I thank you for all the funny moments and memes you have made me laugh at. Thank you.

Wolfenrath - Marcel. I still look forward to playing games in the future with you as I consider you one of my good friends. You are one of the people that a group always needs, and although your commitment to certain things is limited I find that you gravitate towards things that you genuinely enjoy. Even if it is Roblox Vietnam Roleplay or GangRP. You never fail to make me laugh so hard that I piss my pants and roll on the floor laughing. You're an immature dude, but everyone is immature sometimes. Soon you'll grow to be mature when the years come rolling by. I hope to still be your friend by then. Thank you.

Im6 - From my point of view, our relationship can be illustrated as an ocean. At times, things are calm and beautiful and the view is wonderful. Things are looking great from there on. In just a few minutes, however, it can change to an eldritch storm complete with lightning and thunder, at worst. The storm can be bested if you hold out, but it can make quite a stir that you'll feel days later. You're a funny and professional guy, almost a bit too professional a lot of the time. I enjoy when we do not argue or when we just played games together and had fun, ignoring SchoolRP. It's almost as if whenever the conversation switched to something SchoolRP related, I'd immediately lose interest. Part of the reason why I am here writing this currently. You are at times a good friend and an individual I can respect. I hope that we can clear the slate and figure things out and perhaps play games together once again. Thank you.

Now, it is, unfortunately, time for me to respectfully abdicate and leave this sinking ship at the earliest possible chance.
But there is always a bright side to something grim. Out of a wreck can only surface an even greater ship than before, and I believe in this one. It will rise when the time comes.
To wrap this up, I'd like to thank you all for playing on SchoolRP. And for being a great part of my life with these memorable moments.
Even if I hated and dreaded some of you in the past, I've gotten past these episodes of hate.
Because behind every computer screen is a human being.
We are those people.
We are the Weary. We are the Innocent.
We are the Ethical, and the Vicious.
We are the Remnants of the Lore, and the Hidden to our History.
We are the Partisans of the streets, the Phantoms of the forest, and the Wicked in the recesses.
This is your server.