Jump 241: Pirates of the Caribbean

Jump #241: Pirates of the Caribbean
>The Lovers: Beauty and inner harmony.
So much bullshit. I am going to derail everything HORRIFICALLY and then I'm going to laugh my ass off.
>Age: 31
>Location: Tortuga
I'm going to go hunt down Calypso and give her a hug.
>Identity: Drop-In
>No "X" In Sight (900)
Granted, I can already pull things out of nowhere, but being able to keep things on me and avoid direct detection is useful.
>Waverider (700)
So not only can I navigate space perfectly, now I can navigate the seven seas! Also space. More of space. Kinda wishing I had this in 40k from the description...
>Fancy Footwork (500)
Having the sense of balance you'd see in a Hollywood movie is a most excellent investment of points.
>Nobody's Tool (200, Drop-In)
Plans within plans within plans.
>Magic Compass (0)
Well, I desire a great many things, but the first thing I desire is to track down Jack Sparrow and make him a deal that he can't refuse.

Stars and Stones.

It's a fantastic perk, really. It lets you screw with the laws of nature, or more specifically, the laws of the supernatural.

The first thing I did when I opened my eyes in Tortuga was to go and see Calypso. Because yes, Calypso, I know precisely who you are. And I can give you leave to act against your nature if you so choose, and to exercise your power while still keeping the form of a human. What do I ask in return? Nothing. This is the right thing to do. But you might want to visit your estranged lover, a Mr. Jones. Since you've got your power, after all, you can be anywhere that the seas are. Why only wait for him?

After that, well, I tracked down one Jack Sparrow. Immortality? Eternity's quite the burden, Jack my lad, but I'll do you one better - I'll make you a job offer. With that job, you'll have control over your age. You can be wounded, but you won't die... though you could find yourself floating in the middle of the ocean. Perhaps Calypso might be so kind as to show you favor. Better ask nicely.

No, Jack gets a metal gauntlet much like mine, except his looks to be made of iron. And then? Then I task him with tracking down the Black Pearl. Hanging out around Port Royal is a good idea, I point out to him. But no mere pirate is he, now. He's much more, with (a limited amount of) supernatural power at his disposal.

I stuck around for fun, and stowed away on the Black Pearl when the time came and the plot got going. It was remarkably similar to the movie; Jack still ended up stealing a ship, Will Turner joined him, Elizabeth Swann was taken by the pirates.

Oh, hi fellas, I'm just hanging out for fun. Hm? Skeletons? Yeah, that's pretty cool. What's that, you can't enjoy dinner because you're skeletons and it turns to ash in your mouth? Well, that's a right nasty curse there, let me put a loophole in it so you can live, pity it only works so long as you're trying to work toward fixing your mistake, so don't get any bright ideas.

Jack still ended up stealing one of the coins and the showdown was as amusing as expected, in the end. Except when Barbosa died, I waited for the others to leave, looked at him and went 'really?', resurrected him, and smacked him upside the head.

The remaining movies went not too dissimilarly, at least at first; turns out the Black Spot is not visible through the gauntlet, the gauntlet is a sufficient enough magic conductor that Jack can hamekameha the Kraken, and Davy Jones just sort of gave up and let Will take over so he could enjoy the afterlife as first mate to Will Turner.

Oh, what's that, Will Turner? You don't like being able to come onto land only once a decade? Yeah, I agree that's pretty unfair, let's work on those terms of shore leave since you're technically an immortal supernatural creature now...

Oh, what's that, the East India company wants to seize control of the Flying Dutchman?

That's funny.

You're funny, Cutler Beckett.

I'll give you a full day's head start before I hunt you down.