UnusAnus in brief

11/15/19 — Unus Annus, 1:52

"We live our lives taking each second for granted. But what would you do if you knew how much time you had left? Unus Annus: one year. This channel, much like all of you, has a limited amount of time. And every day we march ever closer to this channel's inevitable doom. That means we'll be uploading every single day until the clock strikes zero. And then, it's game over. ... Make no mistake; this doesn't mean that we'll just stop uploading. When time runs out, we will be deleting this channel and every single video on it. And you'll never be able to see them again."
The opening video straddles the line between mysterious and creepy and just plain silly, especially when Mark plugs the alert bell.

11/15/20 — Cooking with Sex Toys, 12:41

Mark and Ethan go to a large, warehouse-like adult store, purchase $492 worth of sex toys with which to attempt to cook a breakfast, featuring a tri-color dildo mounted to a power drill, Tengas used as measuring cups, a whip used as a whisk, and some spanking paddles used as spatulas. Epic conclusion was the delivery guy showing up just as Mark was trying to swallow a bite of pancake while wearing one of those gags with the ring that holds your mouth open.

11/16/19 — Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot, 11:18

A neti pot is a device for rinsing out your sinuses by pouring water into one nostril until it flows out of the other. They spend the first third of the video explaining how you have to use sterilized water or an amoeba will imbibe your brain and kill you to death. They described it as feeling like drowning. At the end they encourage people to spread the channel through word of mouth, and if they get a million subscribers in the next week, they'll send the golden play button YouTube awards to a random subscriber.

11/17/19 — Hot Dog'd to Death, 11:18

Mark and Ethan don garbage bags as ponchos and stage a hot dog eating contest. In ten minutes, Mark ate six and Ethan five, and they had thirty-nine left and discussed throwing them at people. "I don't feel nice."

11/18/19 — Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank, 13:44

A sensory deprivation tank is essentially a warm saltwater bath in a dark, silent room. Mark attempt to replicate this in Mark's bathroom using epsom salt, headphones, a blindfold, and for some reason a blanket. "I feel like I'm in soup."

11/19/19 — The Good Kind of Cupping, 11:59

Mark and Ethan attempt competitive cup stacking while wielding prop tiny hands. They're both terrible, but Mark is actually able to do it. Then they try it with their actual hands and Mark still wins most of the time. And then they put cups on their hands and feet and stalk around like that monster from the Poughkipsie Tapes, and then they jump back into the suit and hypno background thing to award the golden play button before challenging the audience to hit two million subs or else Ethan will murder Mark's van.

11/20/19 — The Bad Kind of Cupping, 13:36

Cupping is an a traditional eastern medicine procedure comparable to acupuncture that involves putting rigid suction cups onto the body to... idunno, draw out toxins or some bullshit. Mark and Ethan use an at-home cupping device to essentially give each other a collection of perfectly circular hickeys. Hilarious use of Mario jump sounds at the moment they operate the hand pump.

11/21/19 — The Worst Kind of Cupping, 10:17

Ethan makes Mark watch 2 Girls 1 Cup so they can then research "where are they now?" Turns out they're still working in porn and one of them released a video a month before Mark and Ethan made this one.

11/22/19 — Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls, 7:30

Mark and Ethan buy and inflate a pair of those giant spherical tubes that you can crawl into and slam into each other. Mark blows his up with his mouth like a normal person while Ethan calls up a bike shop and asks if they can blow it up for him. They agree, he drives out there, but the inflated ball doesn't fit in the trunk so he has to partially deflate it, meanwhile Mark's is done long before he gets back. They bash into each other several times, and at one point Mark bounces off at such an angle that he rolls backwards and his foot goes right into Ethan's tacklebox.

11/23/19 — Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark, 12:08

Ethan talks about his feelings for Obama, then they do each other's makeup in total darkness. It's basically a sequence of them grabbing the wrong tool, the editors putting up a label with a sound effect of a video game character taking damage, and the end result is surprisingly consistent; light blue on the eyelids, something shiny on the lips, and exactly as sloppy as you'd expect for makeup done in total darkness.

11/24/19 — Baby Hands Operation, 08:29

Mark and Ethan open, set up, and play the classic board game Operation while wielding tiny plastic hands, including a harrowing moment of Mark trying to use a box cutter. Ethan at one point ejects the piece he was struggling with by slapping the whole game board in frustration.

11/25/19 — Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost, 18:02

The video opens with a found footage horror movie opening. They're in Ethan's house at night with all the lights off trying to contact Satan and summon a ghost named Linda. Ethan insists that he hates everything about this. They make a pentagram with candles and chant 'Bloody Mary' into a mirror, and ends with a note about how Mark is in a coma and Ethan's body was never found. SPOOKY!

11/26/19 — 2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition, 16:48
11/27/19 — Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise...), 12:24
11/28/19 — Play-Doh Thanksgiving, 10:35

11/29/19 — Helium Therapy, 14:55

Mark and Ethan huff helium then say preposterous things, starting . Ethan on helium sounds like a pixie fairy. Mark on helium sounds like Gollum.

11/30/19 — Drawing Memes from Memory, 10:52

Armed with large Up&Up paper pads and elementary school smelly markers, Mark and Ethan compete at drawing some old memes: 'This is fine' dog, Dat Boi, Rebecca Black, that horrible dancing baby, Numa Numa, dickbutt, Willy Wonka, and trollface. "You swept it, Mark." I'm sure Ethan's a decent artist when he has more than 30 seconds and one color of marker.

12/01/19 — 1 Man 100 Accents, 10:44

The man is Ethan and the actual number of accents is about four. They are terrible. He does an Australian for Austria like an asshole. But then he puts on a hoodie and the tiny hands and acts out Lose Yourself by Eminem and all is forgiven.

12/02/19 — An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die, 9:44
12/03/19 — Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond, 15:08
12/04/19 — The Chubby Gummy Challenge, 11:57
12/05/19 — We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It, 15:33
12/06/19 — Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room, 25:25
12/07/19 — Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat, 6:42
12/08/19 — There's Still Hope, 2:27
12/09/19 — Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral, 11:43
12/10/19 — The Great Meat Mistake, 16:16
12/11/19 — Acupuncture is NOT Painful, 17:01
12/12/19 — Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Chamber, 13:01
12/13/19 — Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There's a Looming Sense of Impending Doom, 7:12
12/14/19 — We Made Nude Paintings of Eachother, 10:12
12/15/19 — You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win, 9:42
12/16/19 — We Had To Drink Each Other's Pee, 15:45
12/17/19 — Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement, 9:46
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10/22/20 — Pressure Washing Our Sins Away

Ethan shows up with a pressure washer. Mark feigns interest and generally acts like a weirdo, arching his back unnecessarily and talking pseudoseductively. After some trial and error, they get the thing working, clean the egg mess and various other stains off of Mark's patio, culminating in Mark trying to charge face first through the pressure stream in slow motion with their 'Don't try this at home' song in the background.

10/23/20 —
10/24/20 —

10/25/20 — Phasmophobia in Real Life, 16:31

Mark and Ethan explore a haunted house with an assortment of paranormal and scientific tools including an electromagnetic frequency reader and an infrared camera. It's a pretty legit scary video, if obviously staged.

10/26/20 —
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10/30/20 —

10/31/20 — The Truth of Unus Annus, 04:20

The video opens with what sounds like some behind the scenes giggling at the end of the last video, followed by a cinematic scene involving Mark and Ethan trying to navigate the haunted house with a flashlight and a walkie talkie apparently communicating with themselves and dealing with the denial that Unus Annus is ending. "You had your one year, and you did the best you could." "It's finally time to accept the truth." Mark and Ethan find a black and white casket, and inside it is their respective all white and all black suits.

11/01/20 — Accepting The Truth, 06:10

Mark and Ethan sit with their pants rolled up and their feet in a hot tub in the evening sun essentially discussing death, both the metaphorical death of the channel and the real inevitable death of themselves and everyone watching. Memento Mori means 'remember that you will die.' You are going to die. I am going to die. Hell, by the time you read this I may already be dead. This document could be the only evidence you ever encounter that I existed. And... that's life.

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