TirkPTA Happyfuntime 6- FUCKEN MAGNETS MAN

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Tokens dropped onto map 'CITES ARE VERY LITERAL'
tirkaroKujo: 	And so you spend the rest of the night on whatever your money can buy and spend the night at an oblig hotel
tirkaroKujo: 	When you're all well and done with that, the next day approaches over the horizon
MeisterWarlock: 	it's a SEEDY hotel
MeisterWarlock: 	not an oblig hotel
tirkaroKujo: 	So when you're all well and done with that, you may now carry on doing what you usually do.
	Neal: 	*what we... usually do. Right.*
	Lydia: 	So who's driving today?
	Neal: 	Alright, are we all well-stocked? Surely with that kind of windfall, we should be able to take care of whatever this is.
	Tuco: 	You almost cost us most of our money so I'm driving again today.
	Lydia: 	Oh, I'm pretty well prepared.
	Tuco: 	And we are -more- than well enough stocked. *Giant bag of healing items*
	Neal: 	Good. And yeah, so long as I don't have to sit in the trunk again I'm fine.
	Lydia: 	Not unless you want to.
	Tuco: 	Well we shouldn't be taking those two deadweights from before along with us this time, so yeah.
	Neal: 	Ha, just saying. So yeah, let's head off then.
	Tuco: 	*Goes to start car* Why do you keep taking out the blasted spark plug?
	Neal: 	Er... well, the first time it was a safety precaution. What with all the criminals around.
	Neal: 	Probably could have done without it this time, to be honest. *works it back in*
	Lydia: 	Naw, what if the officer guy tried to take the van?
	Neal: 	...huh, looks like there's already one in here.
	Tuco: 	*Starts driving to potato city where hostages are being held by team anime protagonist*
	Neal: 	Whatever, can't hurt to have a spare.
tirkaroKujo: 	And so before you head off, the Mayor's son walks up to you twirling his in-hand baton
	Zio: 	*Twirling baton some more, though looking left and right quite warily* Excuse me, good sirs, but....can I spare your attention real quick?
	Lydia: 	You did it again!
	Tuco: 	Yeah, what?
	Zio: 	Listen, I was having doubts before but...
	Zio: 	If you really can enter that city, it would be in your best interest to take me to it as well.
	Zio: 	There's some possible...business I have there.
	Neal: 	Might want to be more specific than that.
	Zio: 	Listen. There's somebody really important to me stationed there. *Whaps hand with baton in an orderly fashion*
Tokens dropped onto map 'CITES ARE VERY LITERAL'
	Christopher: 	>Business
	Christopher: 	elaborate
	Tuco: 	And getting this real important guy, is this gonna jeopardize what -we- have to do?
	Zio: 	If all goes according to plan, not in the slightest.
	Zio: 	I merely need you to take me to her.
	Lydia: 	I say we take him.
	Lydia: 	Get in the trunk.
	Tuco: 	Yeah we got lots of real important potions and stuff up here. Might break in the trunk.
	Zio: 	The trunk huh...can't be that bad.
	Zio: 	*Stuffs self in the trunk in a posh, orderly fashion* And away we go.
	Lydia: 	Tally-ho!
	Neal: 	*smiles to self*
tirkaroKujo: 	AND SO YOU DRIVE ONWARDS WITH THE MAYOR'S SON IN HAND.
	Tuco: 	(Just hope his old man never croaks. Or we are -SO- fucked.)
tirkaroKujo: 	The path to the Kind Lady's village is quite a messy one, with rocks and junk being strewn throughout the area.
tirkaroKujo: 	There are Diglett and Graveler roaming around, though none of them seem to be threatening you, or even notice your presence.
	Ralphie: 	(FEDUP)
	Lydia: 	*AUDIBLE BUMPING NOISES FROM TRUNK*
tirkaroKujo: 	And so while roaming the road, you begin to see a thin sheet of light coating a tight block of space.
	Lydia: 	Is that the city or am I just...hallucinating a poorly-rendered cube?
	Lydia: 	With a terrible gradient?
	Neal: 	Wha?
	Lydia: 	*That was probably non-canon*
tirkaroKujo: 	It forms into a larger wall, which begins to show a faint holographic image welcoming your presence.
tirkaroKujo: 	It says "WELCOME PLAYERS 1, 2, 3, 5. FIRST STAGE IS A BEGIN. BE ATTITUDE FOR GAINS. REBEL BADGE 1 IS ENGAGE"
	Lydia: 	What?
tirkaroKujo: 	Before fading out into an "MD LEAGUE" logo all fancy-like
	Lydia: 	Oh.
	Lydia: 	What?
	Lydia: 	Did anyone understand that?
	Tuco: 	. . .I -think- this is the tourney we signed up for?
	Neal: 	...
	Neal: 	Yeah, I got nothing
	Tuco: 	The people with this grammatical structure made Mega Aggron.
	Tuco: 	Let that sink in for a bit.
	Lydia: 	Maybe they don't speak *whatever the hell we're speakin*
	Neal: 	*let's just say English*
	Neal: 	*because fak everything*
tirkaroKujo: 	We do indeed speak English in Poke-Hong Kong
	Neal: 	Wait, hold on: 1, 2, 3, 5? Is it detecting our... er, "friend" in the back?
	Lydia: 	...I think that was a countdown.
	Neal: 	Counting up?
	Lydia: 	Considering that COUNTING him, there are four of us.
	Tuco: 	it's some automated message. They forgot what comes after 3.
	Lydia: 	...
	Lydia: 	Well, who knows?
	Lydia: 	Maybe it's a countUP.
tirkaroKujo: 	And so you head into the town all nice and pretty in your car.
	Tuco: 	*DOes indeed do that*
tirkaroKujo: 	Which is apparently important enough to deserve it's own map
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Neal: 	*First*
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
Tuco: 	niggernigger
Tuco: 	fmakldsmflkd
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
Lydia: 	*opens trunk* Everything still work?
	Lydia: 	*puts on face*
tirkaroKujo: 	You wind up in the Kind Lady's village. There are quite a few people roaming around, all with an empty, vacant stare.
	Zio: 	*Rolls out of trunk* Absolutely pristine.
Neal: 	Right, what's the deal with this place, anyway?
	Neal: 	*m*
	Zio: 	*Refastens hat* So...this must be the place....
	Zio: 	...my word...this place looks familiar.
	Lydia: 	Doesn't look very inviting.
	Zio: 	It looks a bit different though...everyone seems...happier?
	Zio: 	It's an odd feeling to read.
	Neal: 	We looking at the same people?
	Lydia: 	That's HAPPY to these people?
	Neal: 	*searches for traps*
tirkaroKujo: 	Then a lady with a more straightforward smile, strolls up to you.
	Yuri: 	Ahaaa~
	Yuri: 	Ahaaaaa~n!
	Yuri: 	You finally made it!
	Neal: 	...were we expected?
	Yuri: 	*Clasps hands* So, how was your trip all the way out here?
	Yuri: 	Did you have fun?
	Tuco: 	*Assumes referring to mayor's son*
	Lydia: 	I think she's hitting on you.
	Zio: 	You....you're Yuri aren't you?
	Yuri: 	*Looks to the side* Oh! Zio! Just the man I wanted to see!
	Yuri: 	It seems I can bend fate to my will as well....
	Neal: 	Ah. *gets out of way* Well, that was easy.
	Yuri: 	No, no, I probably require your assistance too!
	Yuri: 	I know this may seem frightening....
	Yuri: 	But take it from me, I bring no harm. Nobody here does.
	Neal: 	Right, sure. Why are we here again?
	Yuri: 	Oh, so quick with the questions, aren't we?
	Yuri: 	Can't you take a moment to appreciate the sights and scenery?
	Yuri: 	Yes, all these people....can't you see?
	Yuri: 	This Town...it's a paradise all my own!
	Lydia: 	How they look totally dead inside?
	Yuri: 	A perfect world, a model of peace.
	Neal: 	...alright, go on.
	Yuri: 	Your definition of "dead" is quite strange. But it is a feeling beyond that of life.
	Zio: 	What...what are you doing here anyway?
	Lydia: 	I'd rather be during life, thanks.
	Lydia: 	Not beyond or before...
	Yuri: 	Ah! About that! Don't you remember, kind Zio?
	Yuri: 	All those days ago?
	Yuri: 	Where you got to truly feel what it was like to live in my perfect little world?
	Zio: 	I....think I do...my word!
	Zio: 	It's all clear as day to me!
	Tuco: 	Can we cut all of this philosphical bullcrap and reminiscing and get to the reason why we're here?
	Yuri: 	*Clasps hands* Right, about that! Have you at all heard of MD? I'm sure you have. You wouldn't be here if you didn't!
	Yuri: 	Obviously, I wouldn't be here without them. But...
	Lydia: 	Is anyone else buying any of this?
	Neal: 	Yeah, we got the little light show when we drove in.
	Yuri: 	Well, if you ask me....I think they may be using me as a mere instrument.
	Yuri: 	I think...*beep*
	Lydia: 	Cause I don't want to, and I'm not exactly having any money problems right now.
	Yuri: 	Oh! It should be here now!
	Zio: 	...what was that for, Yuri?
	Yuri: 	Yes! Just look above you! Aren't you lucky, Zio!?
	Zio: 	...lucky? You mean I won something?
	Neal: 	Above him..? *LOOK*
	Lydia: 	*looks*
	Neal: 	*SOUL INSTANTLY SUCKED OUT*
	Skarmory?: 	SKWAAAARK
tirkaroKujo: 	A strange Skarmory comes in, being carried into place by two Magnemites.
	Magnemite: 	Magnemagne
	Zio: 	Is this...is this..!?
	Yuri: 	That's right, Zio! It's what you've wanted all along! A strong, pure-bred Skarmory, just like the one from ten years ago!
	Tuco: 	The hell is that. . .-Abomination? *Releases Pogeyman*
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Zio: 	So you're saying....?
	Lydia: 	That...*uses Superdex*
	Lydia: 	Can I get a reading on this thing?
	Skarmory?: 	*It sure is a Skarmory*
	Yuri: 	That's right! It's all yours! The pleasure is finally all yours!
tirkaroKujo: 	The villagers all around stare blankly in envy.
	Zio: 	*Pets it* So it's finally, really mine....
	Yuri: 	Woah! Calm down! Your job has only just begun.
	Neal: 	Huh. So that's why he wanted to come along.
	Lydia: 	Huh...I'm surprised I actually got a legit reading on that.
	Yuri: 	Why don't you try telling it to fly? I'm sure you've always wanted to fly on a Skarmory...
	Lydia: 	Still...Oi! Didn't you come here to see a w--that was probably her, huh..
	Yuri: 	Take it for a spin!
	Tuco: 	No Skarmory I've ever heard of. . .
	Zio: 	I...I always have! This is exactly what I've always wanted!
	Zio: 	Yes! This Skarmory was made for me!
	Skarmory?: 	SWKAWAAAAAAAAAARK
tirkaroKujo: 	The Skarmory flies away, Zio in hand.
	Lydia: 	So...
	Neal: 	Um.
	Lydia: 	Was I the only one thinking that we probably should have stopped him,
	Tuco: 	What just happened?
	Lydia: 	.*
	Neal: 	That.
	Neal: 	That just happened.
	Yuri: 	Woah, be patient now...
	Tuco: 	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ds4xhz-xIY
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Yuri: 	As you can see, I may have been a bit misleading. This was all part of my plan...or rather, someone else's will.
	Yuri: 	Quite an expensive plan though!
	Yuri: 	This job was of utmost importance! And this is what he gets to do!
	Lydia: 	Fly off into the sunset, never to return?
Neal: (( are al females going to be named -uri ))
	Magnemite 1: 	*The magnemites show a light screen which shows a display of Zio flying in the sky at blinding speeds with his Skarmory*
	Yuri: 	If he survives, he wins.....
	Lydia: 	Does he lose if he dies?
	Yuri: 	How long will this man last? Or will he cross the finish line of fate?
	Tuco: 	What do you mean if he "wins"? We're still in the dark over here. Like, pitch black.
	Neal: 	...^
	Yuri: 	Ah, so you see...
	Lydia: 	...
	Lydia: 	No.
	Lydia: 	We DON'T see, that';s the problem.
	Tuco: 	« 1d20 = 12 » vision check
	Lydia: 	« 1d20 = 17 »
	Yuri: 	I am but a mere pawn to MD. They had me, and they knew what they wanted.
	Neal: 	*pokes the light screen* Is this thing for real? « 1d20 = 9 »
	Lydia: 	*Yep, still got eyes*
tirkaroKujo: 	You do indeed have eyes
	Yuri: 	So they infected me! With lots of horrible viruses!
	Yuri: 	But me being myself, that was not a problem.
	Yuri: 	I cured them, all by myself. I became the last woman standing...the strongest human, worthy of leading the lower beings to glory!
	Magnemite: 	Magne....
	Yuri: 	But this...MD...they're in another realm.
	Lydia: 	So you're saying...
	Neal: 	Right, maybe we should have been a bit more specific. How did you know that Zio guy?
	Lydia: 	If we go in there, we're doomed to catch every disease known to man?
	Neal: 	And he just... instantly trusts you?
	Yuri: 	I mean...just dealing with them is fuckin' suicide in of itself! No! It's a fate worse than death!
	Yuri: 	But you...you're different!
	Neal: 	And jumps on a Skarmory to his doom?
	Yuri: 	Oh, Zio...I have quite an interesting history with him.
	Yuri: 	I'm almost like a mother to him, see.
	Yuri: 	I'm sure he's never been the same without me. We may not be related by blood, but by spirit....
	Lydia: 	How long are we going to stand here before turning around and leaving so we don't get Poke-AIDS?
	Yuri: 	He was the first follower of the Kind Lady. We all owe our progress to him.
	Yuri: 	Oh, you don't have to worry. There's no sign of MD around here...
	Yuri: 	That's why they blocked us off in the first place!
	Yuri: 	We're too much of a perfect model for their influence to reach. Even if we are pawns in the end.
	Tuco: 	Weeeeellllllllll
	Lydia: 	Then what will it take to..un-block it?
	Tuco: 	Our Employer is dead.
	Lydia: 	The mayor's alive/
	Lydia: 	And HE has the money.
	Neal: 	Our employer was his old man, yeah.
tirkaroKujo: 	And so a loud airship seems to rumble above the skies.
	Yuri: 	Oh, my....was that plane part of the greeting party?
	Yuri: 	It's flying awfully low...
	Lydia: 	Please let it be those stupid girls...
	Lydia: 	And not someone competent.
tirkaroKujo: 	There are now men in parachutes evicting themselves from the plane, falling into the distance.
	Cosmos Grunt: 	Hoooo!
	Lydia: 	YES!
	Neal: 	Oh, not these guys again.
	Lydia: 	*sends out pokemon*
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Neal: 	*sends out Ralphie as he really needs EXP*
	Tuco: 	I thought this place was under control of team MD. Not team Cosmo or whatever. What do you want?
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
tirkaroKujo: 	The Cosmos soldiers fly in, while the civilians run about in a panic. Yuri herself appears to utterly shocked, as if she saw the end of the world itself.
	Yuri: 	This...this can't be..
	Lydia: 	Oh, don't worry.
	Lydia: 	They're hilariously incompetent.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Oh yes we are! And we have a special guest!
tirkaroKujo: 	The mayor himself flies in on a Parachute, looking quite peeved.
	Lydia: 	...is it that monster again?
	Mayor Nimm: 	Yuri! You accursed conniver!
	Lydia: 	Wait, what?
	Lydia: 	Since when did this happen?
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Yes! It's none other than the mayor himself!
	Lydia: 	I'm not BLIND.
	Lydia: 	I even rolled for that before, I got a 17.
	Mayor Nimm: 	Your scam is over, you...whatever you are!
	Yuri: 	You....you don't know! You don't know what you're doing!
	Mayor Nimm: 	Where is my son, you bitch!? Where is he!?
	Neal: 	none of us know, that seems to be the theme
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Don't worry! We'll handle this con artist!
	Mayor Nimm: 	*Takes deep breath, clasps hands*
	Lydia: 	Can we just...accept that we will NEVER know, and get to the main part of this encounter?
	Neal: 	No, that would be far too streamlined
	Mayor Nimm: 	I want you to thank you people. It seems you finally opened up this area for all of us. This is quite a horrifying sight.
	Yuri: 	YOU...YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.....!
	Neal: 	Is that what we did when we drove in here? Well alright
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Hold her down, men!
	Magnemite: 	Magne.....
	Mayor Nimm: 	We'll be done with this all soon.
	Mayor Nimm: 	Okay, you probably require the rest of your reward, correct?
	Yuri: 	Stop....pleaseeee.....
	Neal: 	Uh... *looks toward whatever's happening to Yuri*
	Tuco: 	Help em out, Pinsir. Brick Break on the Magnemite.
	GunmanScout 1: 	She's getting feisty! Hold her down!
	Lydia: 	Uh, could you not kill her?
	Tuco: 	*Wants to look useful whatsoever*
	Pinsir: 	« 1d20 = 1 »
	Neal: 	obv
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Don't worry! We won't kill her! We'll keep her in captivity until we finally know her deal!
	Pinsir: 	wat is a bricking break
	Yuri: 	....NO!
	Magnemite 1: 	....
	Lydia: 	What, you WANTED him to hit?
	Magnemite 1: 	*Eye glows red*
	Magnemite 1: 	Maaagneeee...
	Magnemite: 	MAGNEEEEEE
	Lydia: 	Just take it as a sign! Don't fight here, that'd be dumb.
	Yuri: 	*Clutches head* Aaah...you've done it now.
	Yuri: 	Aaaah...AAAAH!
	Lydia: 	How bout we UNDO it?
	GunmanScout 2: 	Gah! What's going on!
	Mayor Nimm: 	Eh? Can't you quiet her down?
	Lydia: 	Is everyone in this entire region an idiot?
	Neal: 	« 1d20+4 = 18 + 4 = 22 » WIS ROLL TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON
	Mayor Nimm: 	Just knock her in the head or something?
	Neal: 	NOW EXPLAIN (D)
tirkaroKujo: 	The men are holding Yuri down, while she's spazzing out, clutching her head.
	Lydia: 	>men
	Lydia: 	as if you're fooling anyone
	Magnemite: 	*Twirls around Yuri all fancy like*
Lydia: (( they're enjoying this (D) ))
	Yuri: 	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
	Lydia: 	That whole "I could run a city better than this" thing? That's looking all the more likely.
tirkaroKujo: 	The magnemites multiply and cover her entire body.
	Lydia: 	I'm pretty sure ELDIN could run a city better than this.
	GunmanScout 2: 	Stay back! Those Pokemon are up to something!
	Yuri: 	Aaaach....arrggcchch!
tirkaroKujo: 	The magnemites squeeze the woman until an audible snap of her bones sounds off. A moderate explosion knocks all the soldiers off of her.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Aah! *Knocked back*
	Neal: 	Whoa! That didn't sound good.
	Yuri: 	Arrgh...I...I should have died...this is all my fault....
	GunmanScout 2: 	Argh! Stand ba-
	Lydia: 	Yes, you should have died. RIGHT THEN.
Neal: (( try flipping a coin at her, see what happens ))
tirkaroKujo: 	A tentacle erupts from the cluster of magnemite, piercing the soldier in the chest.
	Lydia: 	Hey! PInk chick! You have a scanner or something, right? Does it tell you what the hell is going on?
	GunmanScout 2: 	Grryahck!
	GunmanScout 2: 	Nrgh...stand...argh!
	Neal: 	Van's sounding like a pretty good option right now, guys!!
	Mayor Nimm: 	What the hell is going....Ah! My...my eyes!
	Lydia: 	Haha...van?
	Yuri: 	AAAAH!
	Lydia: 	Screw the car.
	Lydia: 	We have HELICOPTERS now.
	Tuco: 	(What is attacking the mayor please)
	Tuco: 	(Fuck team radec)
tirkaroKujo: 	The pressure from the magnemites pop off Yuri's head in an explosive fashion, drowning the soldiers and the mayor in high-pressure blood.
	Mayor Nimm: 	Argh? What...what is this?
	Lydia: 	NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS
Neal: (( blood ))
	GunmanScout: 	AAAAH! I'M MELTING!
	Lydia: 	THAT'S THE GODDAMNED PROBLEM
	Mayor Nimm: 	Arrghg! Aarch
Neal: (( when did we start playing Call of Cthulu ))
	GunmanScout 2: 	*Covering Tatsuun with body* I'm...I'm sorry....just don't die.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	D-don't,,,
	Mayor Nimm: 	Aaargh! My faagughgfjfgl
	Yuri: 	I...you should have killed me....
	Yuri: 	Now I can't control the urge to kill...
	Yuri: 	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
	Lydia: 	Okay, let's kill her now.
	Working Magnet: 	I.....I now am experiencing the hell I deserve.
	Lydia: 	What...
	Neal: 	Guys?
	Neal: 	VAN.
	Working Magnet: 	I am the Working Magnet. I must do what I can to fufill my role....
	Lydia: 	Oh, yes.
	Lydia: 	Get in the van.
	Lydia: 	The metal van.
	Lydia: 	While fighting a magnet.
	Lydia: 	Am I the only one with a functioning brain around here?
	Neal: 	Can't you use Mud Sport or something?!
tirkaroKujo: 	Various scraps of metal start flinging itself onto the Working Magnet.
	Lydia: 	*CLEARLY MY COINS ARE NOT MADE OF IRON OR STEEL*
tirkaroKujo: 	Every sheet of metal that makes contact with it gets absorbed and consumed.
	Lydia: 	*cause apparently magnets don't affect cobalt or nickel in PTA, who knew*
	Neal: 	*EITHER WAY*
	Neal: 	*WE ARE PRETTY FUCKING CLOSE*
	Neal: 	*LET'S NOT BE SO FUCKING CLOSE*
tirkaroKujo: 	The van itself begins to shake and tumble.
	Tuco: 	*Releases RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE*
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Lydia: 	*BACKS AWAY*
	Neal: 	When on earth did you get that thing??
	Lydia: 	Don't tell me that's going to attack us too?!
	Working Magnet: 	*THE RETURN OF OBLIG BOSS MUSIC*
	Working Magnet: 	\http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_qd7j4q6A4
	Working Magnet: 	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_qd7j4q6A4
tirkaroKujo: 	So likewise, the trainers go first.
	Tuco: 	I bought it last night with some of the reward money. Uuuuhhhh, Garchomp use dig on the. . .THING. Please?
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	!!!!!
	Neal: 	*man i got nothing, ever*
	Lydia: 	We can beat it! We didn't get instantly-killed by the Aggron thing, so this should be a piece of cake!
	Neal: 	we didn't FIGHT that!
	Lydia: 	*Swagger*« 1d20 = 7 »
	Neal: 	We RAN from it!
tirkaroKujo: 	That does indeed hit
tirkaroKujo: 	Garchomp, Gligar, Pinsir, Working Magnet, Ralphie
	Lydia: 	« 1d20 = 19 »
	Lydia: 	« 1d12+6+7 = 1 + 6 + 7 = 14 »
tirkaroKujo: 	Depends where you throw the coin
tirkaroKujo: 	Do you aim it somewhere specific
tirkaroKujo: 	You deal some damage to it.
tirkaroKujo: 	It appears to noticably shake back, almost as if it was shuddering
	Lydia: 	Hit it in the eye!
	Tuco: 	*Does not bother wasting HP on this thing, just moves a bit away*
	Tuco: 	« 1d20+6 = 2 + 6 = 8 » Mental Suggestion on Garchomp to DIG AND MURDER THE FUCKING MAGNERAPIST
	Lydia: 	HEEEY! Magenta! Are you going to help us out any?!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Are you...are you still alive?
	Lydia: 	I sure hope so.
	Neal: 	It hasn't attacked us yet, so that could change!
	Neal: 	*what is the state of his corpse*
	Neal: 	*I mean shit, he was dissolved by ACID BLOOD*
	GunmanScout 2: 	*The soldier covering Tatsuun from the rain finally falls over, not moving an inch*
	Lydia: 	*moment of silence for GunmanScout2*
	Neal: 	* *
	Lydia: 	*MOMENT OF SILENCE OVER, SOMEONE KILL THE THING ALREADY*
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	What...no...what's going on!?
	Mayor Nimm: 	*I am indeed mostly reduced to a skeleton*
	Mayor Nimm: 	*Whatever was on me is probably dissolved*
Neal: (( no one cares about YO- m ))
	Tuco: 	« 1d20 = 20 » checks corpse to see if anything is there olol
tirkaroKujo: 	There are 5 Pokedollars left
	Lydia: 	Keeping that good old looting spirit.
	Neal: 	...and one for good luck. *does whatever to heal Tuco, + 20HP I guess*
	Neal: 	We're gonna need it.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	What are you!? This is an injustice! You've caused enough misery magnet lady!
	Neal: 	*nevermind then.*
tirkaroKujo: 	So yeah, I suppose Pokemon's turn?
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	!!!!!
	Tuco: 	« So yes what does rape garchomp the garchomp that rapes people do = Invalid expression: So yes what does rape garchomp the garchomp that rapes people do. »
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	Yes, I am most certainly a Garchomp.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	However, as a security measure, I must ask a security question before I can do anything of worth.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	In Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, what DVD does Kirino Kousaka drops that Kyousuuke finds, hidden inside a copy of Stardust Witch Meruru?
	Tuco: 	« 1d20+6 = 2 + 6 = 8 »
	Lydia: 	« 1d20 = 12 »
	Neal: 	« 1d20 = 10 » oblig
	Lydia: 	« 12+2 = 12 + 2 = 14 »
	Neal: 	You're kidding me, right? What kind of security question is that?!
tirkaroKujo: 	Sadly, your knowledge of oriental animation is not quite up to snuff.
	Tuco: 	I dunno I didn't set it!
	Lydia: 	I don't even think that's *language*.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	I'm sorry, but all of those responses are wrong.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	I am afraid I cannot help you in this situation.
	Neal: 	Well shoot, try using your mind powers to control it!
	Tuco: 	I already tried that! Fuckballshitdickpiss!
	Lydia: 	Fury Cutter!
	Eldin: 	« 1d20 = 10 »
tirkaroKujo: 	That hits
	Eldin: 	« 1d4+13 = 2 + 13 = 15 »
tirkaroKujo: 	Sadly you do not seem to cause it any harm, even within it's core.
	Working Magnet: 	Bzzzzzzz
	Working Magnet: 	« 1d20 = 14 » *Electro balls the Gligar*
	Eldin: 	*Immune*
	Eldin: 	*supersticks out tongue*
	Neal: 	See if you can short it out, Ralph!
	Ralphie: 	« 1d20 = 20 »
	Ralphie: 	« 3d8+10+3d8+10+15+4 = 17 + 10 + 9 + 10 + 15 + 4 = 65 »
	Ralphie: 	*Bubblebeam, bitches*
	Working Magnet: 	*Whirr*
	Working Magnet: 	Just finish me off before I can cause any more paaaaiiin.....
	Lydia: 	That didn't look like too bad a hit!
	Lydia: 	...it's still sentient?!
	Lydia: 	Or, uh, she?
	Tuco: 	Let's try destroying the woman's corpse
	Neal: 	Oh... god... I wouldn't think about it too hard.
	Tuco: 	that's like what she was saying earlier
	Lydia: 	Because why the hell not? *throws Basic Ball at one of the random Maganamite*
	Lydia: 	« 1d100+5 = 94 + 5 = 99 »
	Lydia: 	*HAHAHAHA*
	Lydia: 	*MAKES MAGNEMITE FOREVER UNCATCHABLE*
Working Magnet: (( The Pokeball is absorbed into the cluster ))
Lydia: (( we do ))
Lydia: (( but not like that'd matter hippo ))
Lydia: (( it'd be -3 ))
	Neal: 	*scampers over to Tatsuun* H-hey! Pull yourself together, are you going to help us with this thing or what?
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Uh...yes....I could...I could um...
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	....I-I CAN'T!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	I can't do this even if I tried! Did...did you see what she did to....!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	AAAAH! TAKE ME AWAY, I DON'T WANNA DIE!
tirkaroKujo: 	And so she attempts to run off
Neal: (( what kind of check would it be to grab her by the arm ))
tirkaroKujo: 	Dex
	Neal: 	« 1d20 = 11 »
tirkaroKujo: 	moderate enough to give her pause
	Lydia: 	Hey, Rose! Don't run off! You've got to avenge your teammates, don't you?!
	Neal: 	Hey, COME ON now! You think this is any more real to us?! Shoot, this is insane, but we gotta... I don't even know, but we can't just run away! (Even though I TRIED to. Guess the van stalling was a mixed blessing.)
Neal: (( wait ))
	Neal: 	shouldn't SHE be pulled in
	Neal: 	*
Neal: (( * ))
Neal: (( due to her power suit ))
tirkaroKujo: 	Her suit isn't made out of any magnetic material it seems
Neal: (( well thank god ))
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	...I should...but I can't! I'm too scared!
	Tuco: 	« 1d20 = 16 » Extrasensory on the retarded woman's corpse who spawned this abomination
	Tuco: 	« 3d10+12+23 = 3 + 12 + 23 = 38 »
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	I'm just a petty theif! We're not known for leaping too hard into the face of danger!
	Working Magnet: 	~AAAAAAAAAAA~
	Neal: 	You held up a plane, didn't you? Outran that gigantic Aggron, whatever it was? Hell, that thing was more dangerous than this is. Only difference is that it was a bit easier on the eyes.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	I am certainly a Garchomp!
	Neal: 	...if nothing else, do you know anything about kids' TV shows?
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	*Sniff* I can't....I...
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	I...I do remember something from my favorite show, way back when...
	Neal: 	Er... by any chance, Kawaii Wake no something or other?
Tuco: (( In Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai, what DVD does Kirino Kousaka drops that Kyousuuke finds, hidden inside a copy of Stardust Witch Meruru? ))
	Neal: 	Tuco, make it say the thing again!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Uh...what the hell is that?
	Lydia: 	Look, if this thing gets past us, it'll get to the rest of you guys, too! You want that to happen? What about...uh..what blonde girl?
	Lydia: 	Or the commander?
	Tuco: 	*Scans magneton thing*
	Tuco: 	*With Pokedex*
	Neal: 	Shoot, what was it called? *looks feverishly over towards Garchomp*
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	All I remember is a show from back when, when I was a little girl. Magical Girl Rainbow Heartfillia! That's it!
	Lydia: 	Dammit.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	"Heartfillia" has been picked up!
	Neal: 	...wait, what?!
Lydia: (( Rape garchomp: "Heartfillia" is wrong. ))
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	Security question #19: Which cake is Heartfillia's favorite?
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	It...It's...!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	*Bites thumb*...mint?
	Neal: 	...right, long story short. That Garchomp over there? Total otaku. Answer his questions and he's yours.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	*DINGDINGDING*
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	1 turn has now been allotted.
Lydia: (( Rape Garchomp: That's wrong. ))
	Tuco: 	Well for fuck's sake, then, Garchomp. DIG UNDER AND KILL THAT THING.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	*DIG A HOLE DIG A HOLE DIG A HOLE*
	Lydia: 	Keep it up!
	Eldin: 	« 1d20 = 1 »
	Eldin: 	OBV
tirkaroKujo: 	You miss obv
	Working Magnet: 	*Thunderbolts Tuco* « 1d20 = 13 »
	Working Magnet: 	« 4d12+12+25 = 25 + 12 + 25 = 62 » Beeeeeeeem
	Tuco: 	GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
	Eldin: 	rados
	Eldin: 	4x
	Working Magnet: 	« 62+7 = 62 + 7 = 69 » Oh silly me
	Lydia: 	*holds down hat* Whoa! Almost singed me there! You okay?!
	Neal: 	S-shoot! *dives over towards Tuco on my turn* Keep it up! @ Tatsuun
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	I...I know I can do this now!
	Ralphie: 	olol EOT Bubblebeam, time for Bubble « 1d20 = 10 »
	Ralphie: 	« 1d6+3+15 = 6 + 3 + 15 = 24 »
	Working Magnet: 	*Beewoop*
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	As Heartfillia would say, break through the walls of possibility straight into the heart of injustice!
	Lydia: 	*THROWS A DAMNED COIN AT IT*
	Lydia: 	« 1d20 = 11 »
	Lydia: 	« 1d12+6+7 = 4 + 6 + 7 = 17 »
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	*Soars into the Magnet cluster fistfirst* HYAAAAAAAAH!
	Neal: 	Right, that!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	« 1d20 = 19 » HYAAAAAAAAH
	Neal: 	C'mon, this lemonade I picked up should do the trick- just trust me on this. +78 HP
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	« 3d8+10+25 = 18 + 10 + 25 = 53 »
	Lydia: 	You go, girl! Just...don't get killed, why in god's name did you got that close?!
	Lydia: 	Arceus'*
	Tuco: 	How will that-*gluggluggluggluggluglug*
	Working Magnet: 	Bewoop?
	Neal: 	There we are, all better.
	Neal: 	Don
	Neal: 	't ask me how that worked.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Yes! Yes yes! I can do this! I am invincible! I can do anything if I put my heart to it!
	Working Magnet: 	*GRABS THAT BITCH WITH THOUSAND HANDS* I WILL CONSUME.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	AAAAAAAAAAHH!
	Lydia: 	QUICK ATTACK ITS EYE NOW!
	Neal: 	W-what!? SHE DASHED INTO IT?
	Eldin: 	« 1d20 = 3 » dat 1
	Eldin: 	close enough
	Eldin: 	« 1d12+6+13 = 6 + 6 + 13 = 25 »
tirkaroKujo: 	You snap one of the thousand arms off
	Tuco: 	« 1d20 = 18 » extrasensory on the corpse, again
	Working Magnet: 	GRYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
	Working Magnet: 	*Flinches*
	Tuco: 	« 3d10+12+23 = 10 + 12 + 23 = 45 »
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	AAAH! *Jetpacks away from it's grasp*
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	I AM A GARCHOMP, HAVE I MENTIONED THAT.
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	« 3d10+12+22+10 = 10 + 12 + 22 + 10 = 54 » GOORYAAAAH
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	« 1d20 = 12 »
	Working Magnet: 	GWWWYAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAaaaaAaaAAAaaAaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaa
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Aaah! It's starting to...
	Working Magnet: 	*The Working Magnet begins to twitch and shake, every last scrap of metal beginning to rupture and fling apart. A surge of energy erupts within.*
	Lydia: 	HIT THE DECK!
	Working Magnet: 	*I'M...SORRY....BUT YOU ALL WILL DIE*
	Neal: 	« d20 = 3 » attack roll against the deck
	Lydia: 	« 1d20 = 19 »
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	AAAH! It's gonna explode!
	Lydia: 	*THAT DECK BE GONE*
	Lydia: 	*GET UNDER THE RUBBLE*
	Tuco: 	*SENDS OUT DAMP POLIWAG*
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Working Magnet: 	IT'S TOO LATE...THIS WILL DESTROY EVERY LAST BEING IN THE AREA....
	Eldin: 	*Technically, I think I could use Quick Attack here*
	Eldin: 	*For what good it would do*
	Poliwag: 	*yo*
	Neal: 	Right, back to my original suggestion. NOW CAN WE RUN?
	Working Magnet: 	BIRRWHIIIR......
	Lydia: 	*hits deck; covers body with hat*
tirkaroKujo: 	The Working Magnet calms down, and begins to slowly pass away
	RAPE GARCHOMP THE GARCHOMP THAT RAPES PEOPLE: 	Oh my, it appears this situation has been handled quite well.
tirkaroKujo: 	The working magnet begins to peacefully evaporate into air, sending it's soul into a cloud looming over the area.
	Lydia: 	Is...that gonna make acid rain?
	Poliwag: 	*Bitch slaps where the thing was with tail*
	Eldin: 	*fuck, that was close*
	Neal: 	*that only lasted two turns*
tirkaroKujo: 	The Mayor's son finally begins to make his descent. He looks somewhat out of it.
	Zio: 	I finally...I really...
	Lydia: 	Fucked up for good.
	Zio: 	...what's going on?
	Tuco: 	Your girlfriend and your father are dead.
	Neal: 	That's the question we've been asking this whole time.
	Tuco: 	You can grieve after you pay us.
	Lydia: 	Well, not a lot, anymore.
	Neal: 	Haven't got an answer yet.
	Lydia: 	This is not the time!
tirkaroKujo: 	The cloud begins to rain blood. Thankfully, it seems to be non acidic.
	Lydia: 	*Woo, hats*
	Neal: 	...gonna need a shower after this.
tirkaroKujo: 	The vacantly-staring townspeople slowly walk out of their houses, looking up at the blood.
	Zio: 	What..what happened to Ms. Yuri?
	Lydia: 	Wagh! *covers self with cloak*
	Zio: 	Huh?
	Zio: 	This....*opens mouth*...
	Zio: 	This blood....
	Eldin: 	You fucked up, nigga
	Zio: 	...it taste like Ms. Yuri's...
	Eldin: 	You SUPER fucked up
	Zio: 	So, she's dead isn't she....
	Neal: 	I don't like this guy. What is he, exactly?
	Zio: 	If only....if I only I obtained her level earlier....
	Eldin: 	*Drops razor fang* « 1d20 = 10 » « 4d12+16+13+4 = 16 + 16 + 13 + 4 = 49 » *Acrobatics fucked up nigga*
	Tuco: 	Her Magnemite pets. . .They. . .Well it's kind of hard to believe, but it makes as much sense as that "Skarmory"
	Yuri: 	Don't begin to lose hope, kind Zio....
	Tuco: 	They mutated into a giant eyeball monster.
	Lydia: 	I'm not even going to goddamned ASK about that.
	Tuco: 	Aaaaaaaaaaand WHAT THE FUCK.
	Yuri: 	You are in control of my legacy....
	Lydia: 	Let's just get out of here.
	Lydia: 	NO.
	Yuri: 	Walk down the path....
	Zio: 	...yes...
	Lydia: 	Eldin, we're leaving. Neal, does the car still work?
	Zio: 	..this is what Ms. Yuri would have wanted.
	Neal: 	*returns Ralph*
	Neal: 	I sure as heck hope so.
	Neal: 	*does it*
	Zio: 	Rest assured, Ms. Yuri. I will watch over this town.
	Lydia: 	« 1d20 = 12 » *Wis check to see if I notice that one of the Cosmos dudes ain't dead*
	Zio: 	Our way of life is eternal. May peace rest with Yuri. Our grand messiah.
	Poliwag: 	Poliswag, bitch
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	Waaah! I'm out now!
	Eldin: 	*I can hit you for neutral*
	Neal: 	Not even going to blame you for that.
	Poliwag: 	poison and sleep stack go home.
	Neal: 	Hey, thanks for pulling yourself together back there.
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	D-don't get any funny ideas now!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	We are eternal sworn enemies!
	Tatsuun (Battle Mode): 	I'll be back for you soon! And when we meet again, you'll know my true power!
	Lydia: 	Until the next time this happens? Tomorrow?
	Tuco: 	So uuuuuhhhhh. This is a weird question. *To Yuri* But did you just turn into a giant eyeball monster? Any memory of that at all?
	Neal: 	*Fortunately, I do not see her.*
	Yuri: 	Heh heh, my time is finally done....
	Lydia: 	*back is turned*
	Yuri: 	what's happened is now in the past...just don't forget my legacy.
	Neal: 	*fiddling with the car, seeing if it will start.*
tirkaroKujo: 	and so she vanishes like all good spirits do.
	Lydia: 	*looking around for non-dead people*
tirkaroKujo: 	While you all run away, a holographic screen appears overhead.
tirkaroKujo: 	1ST STAGE COMPRETE. ATTAINS PSYCHO BADGE. WELL DONE.
tirkaroKujo: 	COLLECT THE LAST 7.
	Lydia: 	APTLY NAMED.
	Lydia: 	CAN WE HAVE A RAINBOW BADGE NOW? OR A FLUFFY BUNNY BADGE?
	Neal: 	*do we get an actual badge*
tirkaroKujo: 	A badge now magically appears on your side/hand
	Lydia: 	I don't believe any of us.
	Lydia: 	this*
	Tuco: 	It. . .It makes as much sense as Mega Aggron.
	Neal: 	Not even close.
	Neal: 	...right. We're that guy's ride back home.
	Tuco: 	Do not question it. Or you will die from lack of sanity.
	Tuco: 	That is the real threat of this Kyogre forsaken island.
	Neal: 	And he's got the rest of our money.
	Lydia: 	Mega Aggron I can believe.
	Neal: 	Or, well.
	Lydia: 	This is just...no.
	Tuco: 	I still don't have the faintest clue what Zio or that other bitch were talking about in the slightest.
	Lydia: 	This never happened. We battled a Gym Leader.
	Lydia: 	He gave us the badge.
	Neal: 	I'm willing to believe that.
	Tuco: 	What has been seen cannot be unseen.
	Lydia: 	THERE WERE NO MAGNEMITES.
	Yuri: 	Let this 2550 exp be a medal of my memory.
Tokens dropped onto map 'KIND LADIES MAY OR MAY NOT BE LITERAL'
	Neal: 	« 12257+2550 = 12257 + 2550 = 14807 »
tirkaroKujo: 	AAAAND I guess if you're done now, that's the end of session.
tirkaroKujo: 	Because this log is perfect as it is.
	Lydia: 	It's really not.
	Yuri: 	Let this 1 level and a stat boost be my further memory.
	Yuri: 	I will ensure I will not be forgotten.
	Neal: 	Shit tirk
	Neal: 	you crazy