2016-05-05 Pre TOEFL: independent writing examples

Greg Malivuk
[email protected]
http://www.pastebin.com/u/gmalivuk
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TOEFL iBT Writing Sample Responses - p. 9 “Task 2”
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
	Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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If you disagree, you could attack “always”, “most”, or “any”.
	not always: times when it’s not the most important
	not most: other things that are more important than telling the truth
	not “any”: relationships where it’s not so important to tell the truth

If you agree, you have to support “always”, “most”, and “any”
	always: there are no times when it’s okay to lie
	most: nothing else is more important
	“any”: there is no kind of relationship where it’s not the most important thing

For both, you need to anticipate some of the ideas someone with the opposite opinion might use.
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p. 14 - Level 2 Response 2 - What problems do you see with this response?
- Starts by answering the question without any introduction (I can’t tell what the question is)
- poor grammar makes it hard to understand the writer’s ideas
- trial example doesn’t support the importance of telling the truth in a relationship (the problem if you don’t tell your lawyer the truth is that the other side might win the case, it’s not a problem with your relationship with your lawyer)
- second example is relevant, but very badly written
- “conclusion” is one sentence and doesn’t really make it clear how the person answers the original question
(When you write or speak on the TOEFL, pick one answer and make sure it’s clear.)
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p. 12 - Level 3 Response 1 (a 3.0 average writing level is 20 points on the writing section)
good things
- It’s clear that this person agrees with the statement.
- The three reasons for their opinion are clear in the introduction.
- The conclusion starts with a restatement of the main idea and reasons.
bad things
- The third paragraph doesn’t make it clear that this is the third reason for the writer’s opinion.
- Some bad grammar and word choice (“perdure” should be “endure”)
- The third reason in the introduction is not clearly related to the third supporting paragraph. (Nothing in the paragraph talks about a relationship enduring.)
- The conclusion is too short, and changes the third reason from enduring to not being betrayed.