B&B and the non-edgy story

>Rape beforemath
>The action will take place in a dark alley
>Blar arrives to the scene, completely unaware of the violent acts that will happen soon
>"OH, GEEZ, IT'S SUCH A DARK ALLEY INDEED. I HOPE NO ACT OF VIOLENCE WILL HAPPEN SOON"
>And no act of violence  happened
>"I SAID, I HOPE NO ACT OF VIOLENCE WILL HAPPEN SOON!"
>It seems nobody is around this alley. Blar grows impatient
>"WHAT KIND OF DARK ALLEY IS THIS? I WAS PROMISED THAT HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE WOULD HAPPEN HERE!"
>Blar leaves the place to another dark alley
>"HELLO?! IS ANYONE HERE?! I'M AN DEFENSELESS PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION! MY BOOTY IS SHAKING IN FEAR!"
>But nothing happened. this was the ninth alley she's visited tonight
>"I'M SHOCKED. PEOPLE SAID THAT MY BODY WOULD BE RAVAGED. MY FANFICS LIED TO ME!"
>Blar was frustrated, and headed her way home
>On her way, she finds Blarco, who was looking for her
>"OH, BLARCO, MY BEST FRIEND!"
>"Hello, Blar"
>"OH, BLARCO, TODAY IS A GRIM DAY. NO RAPE TOOK PLACE, MY BODY HAS NOT BEEN DEFILED!"
>"I am sorry, Blar. I should have warned you that South Echo Creek is the safest area at night"
>"WAIT, BLARCO. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT NO RAPE TOOK PLACE OVER THERE..."
>"You cannot rape the willing"
>"YOUR WORDS RIDDLE ME, BLARCO"

>[spoiler]"Your booty belongs to me"[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]"NOW WE'RE TALKING! MAKE ME YOURS, BEST FRIEND BLARCO!"[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]And no rape happened.[/spoiler]

*****
This is story was written to mock a well-known "rape greentext" that some anons would post at /sveg/ some months ago. I left the "spoiler" brackets untouched because deep in my heart, a voice told me to let them be.