New Kingdom Hearts game

[20:08]	KrytenKoro	cut to a few flashes of the pyramids, UFOs, and then it's just a gif animation of Nomura holding a snowglobe
[20:08]	Chitalian	http://dsmedia.ign.com/ds/image/item/715/7152572/xzone_041112_cover.jpg Oh shit
[20:08]	KrytenKoro	he lets it go
[20:08]	KrytenKoro	it falls to the floor, but doesn't break
[20:08]	KrytenKoro	the end
[20:08]	Chitalian	Cut to Leonardo DiCaprio waking up
[20:09]	Chitalian	Inception 2 logo flashes
[20:09]	Neumannz	Does it land flat, or does it bounce?
[20:09]	KrytenKoro	nothing
[20:09]	KrytenKoro	it lands on the glass side, it looks like it should shatter
[20:09]	KrytenKoro	but it doesn't
[20:09]	KrytenKoro	the end
[20:10]	Neumannz	What's in it?
[20:10]	Chitalian	Ending of KH3
[20:10]	Chitalian	Sora and Riku fighting MX
[20:10]	Chitalian	MX grabs them both by the throat
[20:10]	Chitalian	And he maniacally whispers
[20:10]	Chitalian	"I need about tree fiddy"
[20:10]	KrytenKoro	The Ultimania is just Nomura shouting: IT'S A METAPHOR FOR PUBERTY
[20:11]	Chitalian	Sora and Riku then realize that they are being held by a gargantuan crustacean from the paleozoic era
[20:11]	KrytenKoro	^
[20:11]	Neumannz	What's its name?
[20:12]	KrytenKoro	Nessie
[20:12]	KrytenKoro	Da LOCH NESS Monster
[20:13]	Chitalian	Riku, throat constricted, barely utters "Goddamn... Loch Ness Monster... got me again"
[20:13]	Chitalian	Donald, in the background, then grows heavenly wings and starts glowing
[20:13]	KrytenKoro	and it turns out Pence ate Ventus's ashes
[20:14]	Chitalian	He floats towards the heavens, and he reveals his true form as the incarnated form of Kingdom Hearts
[20:14]	Chitalian	Kingdom Hearts-Donald raises his hand, unleashes a mighty quack that destroys all the Reapers and Mass Relays
[20:14]	KrytenKoro	....don't spoil it for me, seriously
[20:14]	Chitalian	Donald, the only living thing left in existence, says "I should go" and returns to his heavenly domain
[20:15]	Chitalian	But wait
[20:15]	troisnyxetienne	I won't spoil anything, but for those of you who actually know the story and contemplate what could have happened in KH1...
[20:15]	troisnyxetienne	It's disturbing to say the least.
[20:15]	Chitalian	Pence emerges from the ground, his fat having protected his body
[20:15]	Chitalian	He then eats anything he can find on the barren landscape
[20:15]	Chitalian	Eventually he reaches critical mass and divides himself, creating another Pence
[20:16]	Chitalian	Together they repopulate the Universe
[20:16]	KrytenKoro	because he can reproduce by budding
[20:17]	Chitalian	Millenia later, a new race, the Pences, has formed
[20:17]	Chitalian	Together, they worship the original Pence as their one, true god
[20:18]	KrytenKoro	except it turns out that he's just pretending to be the original
[20:18]	KrytenKoro	the real original is locked up in jail somewhere, still grinding those same chinese worry-balls that DiZ gave to him all those centuries ago
[20:18]	Chitalian	It's actually Kingdom Hearts-Donald dressed as a Pence
[20:19]	Chitalian	He summons a flock of ducks that drive the Pences out of their worlds
[20:19]	Chitalian	Setting the tone for the next saga of Kingdom Hearts
[20:20]	KrytenKoro	because Pence is now a dogman
[20:20]	KrytenKoro	and he laughs at you when you miss the ducks
[20:20]	Chitalian	with ridiculously spiky hair
[20:20]	|<--	Neumannz has left freenode (Read error: No route to host)
[20:20]	KrytenKoro	HEE HEE HEE
[20:21]	Chitalian	You play as Pence-Prime, a genetically different Pence-offspring
[20:21]	-->|	Neumannz (~androirc@pool-173-79-2-247.washdc.fios.verizon.net) has joined #KHWiki-social
[20:22]	KrytenKoro	HE HAS THE MATRIX OF HEARTITUDE
[20:22]	KrytenKoro	ITS LIKE ATTITUDE BUT HEARTER
[20:22]	Neumannz	Heartier
[20:23]	KrytenKoro	nope
[20:23]	Neumannz	Like soup
[20:23]	KrytenKoro	possibly
[20:23]	KrytenKoro	but also
[20:23]	KrytenKoro	mostly like chicken
[20:23]	Neumannz	Eh
[20:24]	Chitalian	Party members include Pence 69, Ultra-Pence, Pence of Persia, Pence of Darkness, etc.
[20:24]	KrytenKoro	The Artist Formerly Known as Pence
[20:24]	Chitalian	A new "Pence" gauge is added
[20:25]	KrytenKoro	At Max Pence you turn into Pence
[20:25]	KrytenKoro	who just kind of follows the others around and acts like a bland doof
[20:25]	KrytenKoro	EXCITEMENT
[20:25]	Chitalian	Fuck, I'm copying this into a Paste
[20:25]	Chitalian	This is fucking hilarious
[20:26]	KrytenKoro	you mean a Pence
[20:26]	KrytenKoro	TWO AND FORTY PENCe
[20:26]	KrytenKoro	FIVE SHILLINGS TO A POUNDA
[20:27]	KrytenKoro	SOMETHING ABOUT BLACKBIRDS
[20:27]	Chitalian	munny has been replaced with Pence
[20:27]	KrytenKoro	Nomura made a game with forty Pence
[20:27]	KrytenKoro	That's as many as four tens
[20:27]	KrytenKoro	And that's TERRIBLE
[20:27]	Chitalian	The weapons in the game are Struggle Bats
[20:28]	KrytenKoro	except they are struggling bats
[20:29]	Neumannz	The bats will eat your face
[20:29]	Neumannz	And then sweat it out onto their face
[20:29]	KrytenKoro	Optimus Pence: GIVE ME YOUR FAAAAAAACE
[20:30]	Chitalian	The final boss is Daffy Duck
[20:31]	KrytenKoro	The secret boss is Nomura's drug dealer
[20:31]	Neumannz	I want the boss to be the cigar smoking baby from who framed roger rabbit
[20:31]	KrytenKoro	when you defeat him you get "That S*** I Was On When I Made KHII"
[20:31]	KrytenKoro	you use it and it turns you into a squid
[20:32]	KrytenKoro	Heath Ledger starts neighing at you and eating people's jellyfish
[20:33]	Chitalian	Another party includes the Fresh Pence of Bel-Air
[20:33]	Chitalian	The game's comedic relief in an otherwise dark story
[20:33]	KrytenKoro	gotta go
[20:34]	Chitalian	Late.r