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  1. What else you got? Get that
  2.  
  3. fireplace poker and whack my foot.
  4.  
  5.  
  6. -Do I absolutely have to?
  7.  
  8. -lt's going to be fun. Just grab it.
  9. ~~~~~
  10.  
  11. So who inherits Blake's percent stake
  12.  
  13. in the company's stock...
  14.  
  15. ...valued at $ billion?
  16.  
  17. ~~~~~~~~
  18.  
  19. Very. Provided the information is good
  20.  
  21. and you stop soaping your ass.
  22.  
  23. ````````
  24.  
  25. How about $1 billion?
  26.  
  27. -All right.
  28.  
  29. ~~~~~~
  30.  
  31.  
  32. I really love you.
  33.  
  34.  
  35.  
  36.  
  37.  
  38.  
  39.  
  40. Bullshit!
  41.  
  42.  
  43.  
  44.  
  45.  
  46.  
  47.  
  48. I'm coming!
  49.  
  50.  
  51.  
  52.  
  53.  
  54.  
  55.  
  56. Go down! Go down!
  57.  
  58.  
  59.  
  60.  
  61.  
  62.  
  63.  
  64. Here comes the black foot.
  65.  
  66.  
  67.  
  68.  
  69.  
  70.  
  71.  
  72. No!
  73.  
  74.  
  75.  
  76.  
  77.  
  78.  
  79.  
  80. I know it's gross, but grab it.
  81.  
  82. ~~~
  83.  
  84. How you doing, pal?
  85.  
  86. I got your pizza, just the way you like it.
  87.  
  88.  
  89.  
  90.  
  91.  
  92.  
  93.  
  94. Oh, yes!
  95.  
  96.  
  97.  
  98.  
  99.  
  100.  
  101.  
  102. French fries and Oreos.
  103.  
  104. You know me all too well, Deeds.
  105.  
  106.  
  107.  
  108.  
  109.  
  110.  
  111.  
  112. What are you in for?
  113.  
  114. ~~~~
  115.  
  116. I don't mind.
  117.  
  118.  
  119.  
  120.  
  121.  
  122.  
  123.  
  124. Okay.
  125.  
  126.  
  127.  
  128.  
  129.  
  130.  
  131.  
  132. "No!"
  133.  
  134.  
  135.  
  136.  
  137.  
  138.  
  139.  
  140. I think I just shat myself.
  141.  
  142.  
  143.  
  144.  
  145.  
  146.  
  147.  
  148. How would you like to see the sights now?
  149.  
  150. ~~~~~~
  151.  
  152. simple DNA test will show...
  153.  
  154.  
  155.  
  156.  
  157.  
  158.  
  159.  
  160. ...that Emilio Lopez is
  161.  
  162. the majority stockholder to Blake Media.
  163.  
  164. ~~~
  165.  
  166. Easy, fellows.
  167.  
  168. The Biggie Fries are making a comeback.
  169.  
  170.  
  171.  
  172.  
  173.  
  174.  
  175.  
  176. You guys football fans? The Pats
  177.  
  178. could take the conference this year.
  179.  
  180.  
  181.  
  182.  
  183.  
  184.  
  185.  
  186. The Dolphins are overrated
  187.  
  188. and the Jets are choke artists.
  189.  
  190.  
  191.  
  192.  
  193.  
  194.  
  195.  
  196. I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds.
  197.  
  198.  
  199.  
  200.  
  201.  
  202.  
  203.  
  204. -Just Deeds. Why is that, though?
  205.  
  206. -You own the Jets, Deeds.
  207.  
  208.  
  209.  
  210.  
  211.  
  212.  
  213.  
  214. I do?
  215.  
  216.  
  217.  
  218.  
  219.  
  220.  
  221.  
  222. That sucks.
  223.  
  224. ~~~~~~
  225.  
  226. Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward,
  227.  
  228. the quarterback you punched.
  229.  
  230.  
  231.  
  232.  
  233.  
  234.  
  235.  
  236. What's up, buddy?
  237.  
  238.  
  239.  
  240.  
  241.  
  242.  
  243.  
  244. I wanted to say that I was thinking it over
  245.  
  246. and I'd like to live up to my word.
  247.  
  248.  
  249.  
  250.  
  251.  
  252.  
  253.  
  254. And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl.
  255.  
  256.  
  257.  
  258.  
  259.  
  260.  
  261.  
  262. -That's terrific, pal.
  263.  
  264. -And my daddy wants to speak to you.
  265.  
  266.  
  267.  
  268.  
  269.  
  270.  
  271.  
  272. Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy.
  273.  
  274.  
  275.  
  276.  
  277.  
  278.  
  279.  
  280. How you doing, Mr. Ward?
  281.  
  282.  
  283.  
  284.  
  285.  
  286.  
  287.  
  288. I just want to thank you
  289.  
  290. for teaching my boy a lesson.
  291.  
  292.  
  293.  
  294.  
  295.  
  296.  
  297.  
  298. He's a good kid. He just has to watch
  299.  
  300. his language in front of the ladies.
  301.  
  302.  
  303.  
  304.  
  305.  
  306.  
  307.  
  308. I'll remind Kevin where he comes from.
  309.  
  310.  
  311.  
  312.  
  313.  
  314.  
  315.  
  316. That sounds terrific.
  317.  
  318.  
  319.  
  320.  
  321.  
  322.  
  323.  
  324. You used foul language in front of a lady?
  325.  
  326.  
  327.  
  328.  
  329.  
  330.  
  331.  
  332. No, Daddy, no!
  333.  
  334.  
  335.  
  336.  
  337.  
  338.  
  339.  
  340. Pam.
  341.  
  342. ~~~~~
  343.  
  344. -Help, I'm being mugged!
  345.  
  346. -All right!
  347.  
  348.  
  349.  
  350.  
  351.  
  352.  
  353.  
  354. Help! Help! I'm being mugged!
  355.  
  356.  
  357.  
  358.  
  359.  
  360.  
  361.  
  362. -Stop it!
  363.  
  364. -Good luck. See you at the office.
  365.  
  366. ~~~~~
  367.  
  368. That third guy's our heir. Nice work, Marty.
  369.  
  370.  
  371.  
  372.  
  373.  
  374.  
  375.  
  376. They were supposed to arrive
  377.  
  378. at Blake Media at : .
  379.  
  380.  
  381.  
  382.  
  383.  
  384.  
  385.  
  386. But they made an unscheduled stop
  387.  
  388. in Connecticut.
  389.  
  390.  
  391.  
  392.  
  393.  
  394.  
  395.  
  396. I'm so happy I got the Big Bacon Classic.
  397.  
  398.  
  399.  
  400.  
  401.  
  402.  
  403.  
  404. Thanks for stopping. This is unbelievable.
  405.  
  406. ~~~~~
  407.  
  408. Voila! Finally, the Mr. Deeds script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Mr. Deeds. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.
  409.  
  410. ~~~~~~
  411.  
  412.  
  413. So could you take that out of my foot?
  414.  
  415. I'm nailed to the ground.
  416.  
  417.  
  418.  
  419.  
  420.  
  421.  
  422.  
  423. There you go.
  424.  
  425.  
  426.  
  427.  
  428.  
  429.  
  430.  
  431. I must insist on absolute secrecy
  432.  
  433. regarding this discussion...
  434.  
  435. ~~~~~
  436.  
  437. My source at Blake says
  438.  
  439. the company helicopter...
  440.  
  441.  
  442.  
  443.  
  444.  
  445.  
  446.  
  447. ...took off from there this afternoon
  448.  
  449. with two male passengers aboard...
  450.  
  451.  
  452.  
  453.  
  454.  
  455.  
  456.  
  457. -...headed for Mandrake Falls.
  458.  
  459. -Where?
  460.  
  461.  
  462.  
  463.  
  464.  
  465.  
  466.  
  467. Some little hick-ass town in New Hampshire.
  468.  
  469.  
  470. ~~~~~~~~~
  471.  
  472.  
  473. I'm flat broke and Mac is going to fire me.
  474.  
  475.  
  476.  
  477.  
  478.  
  479.  
  480.  
  481. How're you flat broke?
  482.  
  483. You make more money than anyone here.
  484.  
  485.  
  486.  
  487.  
  488.  
  489.  
  490.  
  491. -What did you blow it on?
  492.  
  493. -Shoes.
  494.  
  495.  
  496.  
  497.  
  498.  
  499.  
  500.  
  501. I'll tell you everything I know
  502.  
  503. over lunch tomorrow...
  504.  
  505.  
  506.  
  507.  
  508.  
  509.  
  510.  
  511. ...as long as your club promoter boyfriend...
  512.  
  513.  
  514.  
  515.  
  516.  
  517.  
  518.  
  519. ...doesn't try to run me over
  520.  
  521. with his motorcycle again.
  522.  
  523.  
  524.  
  525.  
  526.  
  527.  
  528.  
  529. You're safe there.
  530.  
  531. Ken and I are kind of taking a break.
  532.  
  533.  
  534.  
  535.  
  536.  
  537.  
  538.  
  539. Really? So he moved out?
  540.  
  541.  
  542.  
  543.  
  544.  
  545.  
  546.  
  547. Babe, what are you staying here for?
  548.  
  549. I have a spare bedroom.
  550.  
  551.  
  552.  
  553.  
  554.  
  555.  
  556.  
  557. We tried that once, remember?
  558.  
  559.  
  560.  
  561.  
  562.  
  563.  
  564.  
  565. I woke up and you were standing
  566.  
  567. over my bed, breathing heavily.
  568.  
  569.  
  570.  
  571.  
  572.  
  573.  
  574.  
  575. I was having an asthma attack.
  576.  
  577. I couldn't find my puffer.
  578.  
  579.  
  580.  
  581.  
  582.  
  583.  
  584.  
  585. Easy, fellows.
  586.  
  587. The Biggie Fries are making a comeback.
  588.  
  589.  
  590.  
  591.  
  592.  
  593.  
  594.  
  595. You guys football fans? The Pats
  596.  
  597. could take the conference this year.
  598.  
  599.  
  600.  
  601.  
  602.  
  603.  
  604.  
  605. The Dolphins are overrated
  606.  
  607. and the Jets are choke artists.
  608.  
  609.  
  610.  
  611.  
  612.  
  613.  
  614.  
  615. I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds.
  616.  
  617.  
  618.  
  619.  
  620.  
  621.  
  622.  
  623. -Just Deeds. Why is that, though?
  624.  
  625. -You own the Jets, Deeds.
  626.  
  627.  
  628.  
  629.  
  630.  
  631.  
  632.  
  633. I do?
  634.  
  635.  
  636.  
  637.  
  638.  
  639.  
  640.  
  641. That sucks.
  642.  
  643.  
  644.  
  645.  
  646.  
  647.  
  648.  
  649. I hope they don't play the Pats
  650.  
  651. in the playoffs or I'll have to kill myself.
  652.  
  653.  
  654.  
  655.  
  656.  
  657.  
  658.  
  659. I'm still very worried about this.
  660.  
  661.  
  662.  
  663.  
  664.  
  665.  
  666.  
  667. What do you got in that pipe, hashish?
  668.  
  669. You're paranoid.
  670.  
  671.  
  672.  
  673.  
  674.  
  675.  
  676.  
  677. -This guy's perfect for us.
  678.  
  679. -What if he won't sell us his shares?
  680.  
  681.  
  682.  
  683.  
  684.  
  685.  
  686.  
  687. If I got Blake to trust me with his company...
  688.  
  689.  
  690.  
  691.  
  692.  
  693.  
  694.  
  695. ...I can get this moron to do the same.
  696.  
  697. Look at him.
  698.  
  699.  
  700.  
  701.  
  702.  
  703.  
  704.  
  705. ...I can get this moron to do the same.
  706.  
  707. Look at him.
  708.  
  709.  
  710.  
  711.  
  712.  
  713.  
  714.  
  715. That's right, Anderson.
  716.  
  717.  
  718.  
  719.  
  720.  
  721.  
  722.  
  723. Enough!
  724.  
  725.  
  726.  
  727.  
  728.  
  729.  
  730.  
  731. Party pooper.
  732.  
  733.  
  734.  
  735.  
  736.  
  737.  
  738.  
  739. Holy cow!
  740.  
  741.  
  742.  
  743.  
  744.  
  745.  
  746.  
  747. What's up, New York?
  748.  
  749.  
  750.  
  751.  
  752.  
  753.  
  754.  
  755. It's an honour to come
  756.  
  757. to the greatest city in the world!
  758.  
  759.  
  760.  
  761.  
  762.  
  763.  
  764.  
  765. Congratulations, Deeds, you're now
  766.  
  767. the most eligible bachelor in New York.
  768.  
  769.  
  770.  
  771.  
  772.  
  773.  
  774.  
  775. I don't want to meet a girl
  776.  
  777. just because I'm wicked rich.
  778.  
  779.  
  780.  
  781.  
  782.  
  783.  
  784.  
  785. That's nice, but let's see
  786.  
  787. how you stick to your guns...
  788.  
  789.  
  790.  
  791.  
  792.  
  793.  
  794.  
  795. ...once you've paid a visit to one
  796.  
  797. of our many fine gentlemen's clubs.
  798.  
  799.  
  800.  
  801.  
  802.  
  803.  
  804.  
  805. What?
  806.  
  807.  
  808.  
  809.  
  810.  
  811.  
  812.  
  813. My father saved my mother.
  814.  
  815.  
  816.  
  817.  
  818.  
  819.  
  820.  
  821. She was figure skating
  822.  
  823. and fell through the ice.
  824.  
  825.  
  826.  
  827.  
  828.  
  829.  
  830.  
  831. I always thought I'd meet
  832.  
  833. a girl the same way. Bullspit like that.
  834.  
  835.  
  836.  
  837.  
  838.  
  839.  
  840.  
  841. Then I'll just keep a lookout
  842.  
  843. for ladies in distress, as it were.
  844.  
  845.  
  846.  
  847.  
  848.  
  849.  
  850.  
  851. -That'd be nice.
  852.  
  853. -Hey, Mandrake Falls!
  854.  
  855.  
  856.  
  857.  
  858.  
  859.  
  860.  
  861. Security, stop that guy!
  862.  
  863.  
  864.  
  865.  
  866.  
  867.  
  868.  
  869. Stop! Come back!
  870.  
  871.  
  872.  
  873.  
  874.  
  875.  
  876.  
  877. He'll get $ for the picture.
  878.  
  879. It'll be on the news in an hour.
  880.  
  881.  
  882.  
  883.  
  884.  
  885.  
  886.  
  887. He deserves it with those
  888.  
  889. James Bond moves he just pulled.
  890.  
  891.  
  892.  
  893.  
  894.  
  895.  
  896.  
  897. No, he deserves to get his throat cut,
  898.  
  899. the filthy spy. Come on, let's go.
  900.  
  901.  
  902.  
  903.  
  904.  
  905.  
  906.  
  907. So this is where my uncle lived?
  908.  
  909.  
  910.  
  911.  
  912.  
  913.  
  914.  
  915. Yes, sir. For the last years
  916.  
  917. of his astonishing life.
  918.  
  919.  
  920.  
  921.  
  922.  
  923.  
  924.  
  925. -You kind of snuck up on me there.
  926.  
  927. -I am very, very sneaky, sir.
  928.  
  929.  
  930.  
  931.  
  932.  
  933.  
  934.  
  935. I see that. My name is Deeds.
  936.  
  937.  
  938.  
  939.  
  940.  
  941.  
  942.  
  943. I am Emilio, sir. I am your servant.
  944.  
  945.  
  946. 00:00
  947. Oh easy fellas
  948. 00:03
  949. or the biggie fries are making a
  950. 00:05
  951. comeback hey you guys football fans
  952. 00:08
  953. I think the Pats could take the
  954. 00:09
  955. conference this year I mean the Dolphins
  956.  
  957. Earth is blue and there's I can't do Jane Jane - enough - party pooper
  958.  
  959. ~~~~
  960.  
  961. Plot
  962. Multibillionaire Preston Blake freezes to death while on a mountain climbing expedition. With no widow or legitimate children, it is initially unclear who would earn the right to Blake's massive fortune.
  963.  
  964. It is found that Blake has a living grandnephew named Longfellow Deeds (Adam Sandler), who runs a pizzeria in Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire and also writes greeting cards in the hopes that Hallmark may be interested in one. Deeds is contacted and flown to New York City by businessman Chuck Cedar (Peter Gallagher), who is temporarily in control of Blake Media. Deeds' unorthodox helicopter trip includes a stop at Wendy's for a Frosty as well as a singing of David Bowie's Space Oddity. Once Deeds arrives in New York, plans are made for him to sell his shares in the company to Cedar and return home $40 billion richer, but he must remain in New York for a few days while all the legal details are worked out.
  965.  
  966. The story is major news, and reporter Babe Bennett (Winona Ryder), who works for a tabloid show called Inside Access, has a co-worker pretend to steal her purse in sight of Deeds, because their research indicated that Deeds wanted to meet a girl by "rescuing" her, the same way his father had met his mother. Deeds does so, and beats up her "robber", and Babe goes out with him under the disguise of Pam Dawson, a school nurse from a made-up town called Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa (which later turns out to be a real town, which Babe is flabbergasted to find out).
  967.  
  968. Though Babe initially hopes to just get a good story on the new heir, she eventually falls for the unfailingly kind-hearted Deeds, and decides to tell him that she is not who she says she is, but Inside Access, in concert with Cedar (who was fed the truth by the fake robber and was smitten with Babe) reveals it to Deeds first. Heartbroken and upset, Deeds decides to return home to Mandrake Falls and makes plans to donate his $40 billion inheritance to the United Negro College Fund. After returning to Mandrake Falls, he learns from Crazy Eyes (Steve Buscemi) that Cedar intends to sell off the company, which will cause thousands of people to lose their jobs (Cedar had convinced Longfellow to sell his shares by lying that he will work commanding the company in honor of Preston's lifetime of work). Babe follows Deeds to Mandrake Falls to win him back, but after saving her life when she falls through the ice over a lake, he rejects her, saying he does not really know who she is.
  969.  
  970. At a shareholders meeting, Cedar has everyone convinced to sell the company, until Deeds (who has bought a single share) arrives and manages to convince everyone not to sell. But Cedar claims control of a majority of the shares and the sale is approved. Bennett arrives and reveals that, having studied Blake's personal journal after she stole it from Deeds earlier, she has determined that Emilio Lopez, Preston Blake's longtime butler, is Blake's illegitimate son and the true heir as a result of a younger Preston having an amorous affair with his maid in 1958 (at one point he had told Deeds that Blake treated him "like a son"). Realizing Emilio is his cousin, Deeds convinces him they must stop Cedar and that he is the rightful CEO. As a result of Emilio supplanting Longfellow as the heir, Deeds' sale of shares are retracted and Cedar is dismissed.
  971.  
  972. Emilio immediately takes control of Blake Media. Babe then reconciles with and kisses Deeds after professing her love for him. As they leave the meeting, Emilio thanks Deeds for his support and offers him a billion dollars, some of which Deeds spends on red Corvettes for everyone in Mandrake Falls. When he returns to the pizzeria with Babe, he learns that Hallmark is interested in buying one of his greeting cards: the one he wrote for Babe when he professed his love for her. They both share a kiss as the movie ends with Crazy Eyes crashing his Corvette and coming out unharmed.
  973.  
  974. ~~~~~
  975.  
  976. Cast
  977. Adam Sandler as Longfellow Deeds, Preston Blake's nephew, a friendly, helpful owner of a small-town pizzeria who also writes greeting cards who inherited a billion dollar empire from his late Uncle.
  978. Winona Ryder as Babe Bennett, a reporter for the tabloid TV show Inside Access, who disguises herself as Pam Dawson, a school nurse, to get close to and gather information on Deeds
  979. John Turturro as Emilio Lopez, Preston Blake's long-serving butler and illegitimate son (therefore Deeds' cousin and the true heir to Blake Media). He has a habit of sneaking up on people unexpectedly, and he also has a foot fetish.
  980. Allen Covert as Marty, a junior reporter for Inside Access, infatuated with and a cohort of Babe, appearing in several disguises to spy on Deeds
  981. Peter Gallagher as Chuck Cedar, the CEO for Blake Media, and Preston Blake's longtime number two. He plots to seize control of Blake Media so he can make a huge profit selling it.
  982. Jared Harris as Mac McGrath, the head of Inside Access who reports on Deeds' antics in New York.
  983. Erick Avari as Cecil Anderson, the General Counsel for Blake Media
  984.  
  985. ~~~
  986.  
  987. Theatrical release poster
  988. Directed by Steven Brill
  989. Produced by Sid Ganis
  990. Jack Giarraputo
  991. Screenplay by Tim Herlihy
  992. Based on Opera Hat
  993. by Clarence Budington Kelland
  994. Starring
  995. Adam Sandler
  996. Winona Ryder
  997. Peter Gallagher
  998. Jared Harris
  999. Allen Covert
  1000. Erick Avari
  1001. John Turturro
  1002. Conchata Ferrell
  1003. Music by Teddy Castellucci
  1004. Cinematography Peter Lyons Collister
  1005. Production
  1006. company
  1007. New Line Cinema
  1008. Happy Madison Productions
  1009. Distributed by Columbia Pictures
  1010. Release date
  1011. June 28, 2002
  1012. Running time
  1013. 96 minutes
  1014. Country United States
  1015. Language English
  1016. Budget $50 million
  1017. Box office $171.3 million[1]
  1018.  
  1019. ~~~~~
  1020.  
  1021. Critical response
  1022. The film received mainly negative reviews from critics. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an approval rating of 22% based on reviews from 155 critics, with an average rating score of 4 out of 10.[3]
  1023.  
  1024. Mr. Deeds received three Razzie Award nominations including Worst Actor (Adam Sandler), Worst Actress (Winona Ryder) and Worst Remake or Sequel.
  1025.  
  1026. DON'T LEET THE FANCY CLOTHES FOOL YOU - MrDeeds dot com june 28 - butler - new line cinema -- esspn
  1027.  
  1028. DON'T LEET THE FANCY CLOTHES FOOL YOU - MrDeeds dot com june 28 - butler - new line cinema -- esspn ON TV Airs Sat. Aug. 25, 4:15 PM on COMEDY - PG 13 - 1h 36min Comedy, Romance 28 June 2002 (USA) 5.8/10 122,591 votes Rate This FULL CAST AND CREW TRIVIA USER REVIEWS IMDbPRO MORE SHARE
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