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wiz_anon

Wizard_in_Equestria Chapter 11

Jul 12th, 2012
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  1. Chapter 11.
  2. >Buuuuuuuck.
  3. >Your neck is killing you.
  4. >Why are you in a tub?
  5. >Oh, yeah.
  6. >Drinking with Celestia.
  7. >You stand up and walk down the stairs to your kitchen.
  8. >Your head feels like it’s been through a jet turbine… Twice.
  9. >You need something to clear your head.
  10. >A shower, a good breakfast and a long walk usually work.
  11. >You made sure to bring some of Spike’s great cereal with you when you moved.
  12. >Not even sure if he noticed it is gone.
  13. >You munch down your delicious breakfast and exit your house.
  14. >You are still wearing the clothes you woke up in.
  15. >Fucks.exe has stopped working.
  16. >Do you want to continue anyway?
  17. > [Y], N
  18. >You lock the door after you and walk out of your lawn and walk down the street.
  19. >There’s a large pool of something purplish crimson further down the road.
  20. >As you approach it your nose catches the smell of expensive Spanish wine.
  21. >You assume its Celestia’s vomit and continue on your marry way.
  22. >You pass by Sugarcube Corner and buy a loaf of bread and a couple of pieces of pastry.
  23. >That’ll be today’s lunch.
  24. >You go through the market on your way back home.
  25. >Applejack has got a pretty large line today.
  26. >Wonder why.
  27. >You ask Lyra who is standing in line what is so special about today’s wares.
  28. >Lyra: “Are you kidding me? Everyp0ny knows that today is the beginning of the cider season.”
  29. “Cider season?”
  30. >You’re not sure if you can handle more alcohol right now.
  31. >…
  32. >Maybe just a little bit.
  33.  
  34. >AJ: “Howdy Anon, are ya here to get some cider?”
  35. “I don’t have any money. I was just talking to Lyra.”
  36. >Lyra: “Anonymous is really interesting.”
  37. >She keeps staring at your hands.
  38. >It’s getting weird now.
  39. >Nah, you are different p0nies are allowed to stare.
  40. >AJ: “Would ya like a taste?” She already poured a full mug for you.
  41. >A single drink can’t hurt.
  42. “Thanks.” You say as you grab the handle of the mug.
  43. >...
  44. >You can barely taste the alcohol in this.
  45. >Well it has to be child friendly if the Apples are going to sell it to colts and fillies.
  46. >But still.
  47. >You are kind of disappointed.
  48. >Besides the lack of alcohol the cider tastes pretty fucking good.
  49. “This is great Applejack. But do you have something a little…” You hesitate for a moment. “Stronger?”
  50. >Applejack’s mouth contorts into a grin and she puts her orange marshmallow hoof under the counter and pulls up a large bottle of…
  51. >Applejack Daniels.
  52. >Of course.
  53. >AJ: Here ya go, Anon.”
  54. “Well, as I said; I don’t have any money but I’ll buy some of that,” you point at the bottle. “When I get my first salary.”
  55. >Applejack beams at you now. “Ya’ll got a job? That’s mighty fine Anon. Here. Take this.” Applejack hands… wait… Applejack hooves you the bottle. “It’s mah way of sayin’ congratulations.”
  56. >This mare…
  57. “Thanks Applejack, this is really something.”
  58. >It isn’t really anything at all, but it’s the symbolic value more than the actual present.
  59. >Lyra: “Ahem!.. Some of us are waiting to actually buy something.”
  60. “Oh, right.”
  61. >You give Lyra a sheepish smile, thank Applejack again and head on home.
  62.  
  63. >You take a look at your living room.
  64. >You can’t believe it.
  65. >This place is a mess.
  66. >It’s like Hiroshima all over again.
  67. >Fucking Celestia.
  68. >Oh well you better clean this mess up before Rainbow Dash comes.
  69. >That’s right, today is the day she gets out of the hospital.
  70. >You would have swung by, but seeing this mess.
  71. >Nope.
  72. >You better start cleaning.
  73. >You fill a large bag with empty wine bottles.
  74. >And rearrange the furniture so it doesn’t look like a makeshift scene for Celestia’s karaoke show.
  75. >She is going to be the best boss ever.
  76. >You pick up the broom and start sweeping.
  77. >You there is a big spot on your floor, you get it off after fifteen minutes of scrubbing.
  78. >After a long time you are finally done cleaning.
  79. >You place your bottle of Applejack D with your other booze and go upstairs.
  80. >You walk into your room and undress.
  81. >It feels good to be out of those robes.
  82. >You feel so liberated letting it all hang like this.
  83. >Time for that bath you promised yourself.
  84. >You grab a towel from your cupboard and enter your bathroom.
  85. >The towel is dropped on the floor and you step up in the tub.
  86. >The showerhead’s thin strings of water hits your head and you just stand there reflecting on life and its meaning.
  87. >Is there really a god?
  88. >What if there are adjacent Equestrias and adjacent Earths to your dimension(s)?
  89. >You wonder if that changeling ambassador really is as bad as Celestia told you.
  90. >Maybe you can try to befriend him and secure peace for both of your nations.
  91. >The water is getting cold now.
  92. >You quickly grab the shampoo bottle and press.
  93. >A large pool of liquid soap lands on your hand.
  94. >You quickly work it into your hair and get it back out again as fast as you can.
  95. >The water’s temperature is not pleasant anymore.
  96. >Your teeth clatter as you step out of your little philosopher’s bathtub.
  97. >Only now do you notice the steady, hard knocking on your door.
  98. >You run down the stairs while you wrap your pelvis in the towel.
  99. >You turn the doorknob.
  100. >RD: “About time.”
  101. >She walks right in.
  102. >RD: “Wow this place looks much smaller on the outside.
  103. “Ummm… yeah. I was just showering. Make yourself at home I’ll be back in a minute.”
  104. >You hurry back up the stairs again, dry yourself and put on some new clothes.
  105. >You hear Rainbow’s voice from downstairs. “Fluttershy is coming by later with some of my stuff.”
  106. >Fluttershy is nice.
  107. >Maybe she will bring some food.
  108. >The thought of food makes your mouth water and your stomach growl.
  109. >You haven’t had lunch because you were too busy cleaning.
  110.  
  111. >You walk down the stairs and see Rainbow Dash sitting on your sofa.
  112. >You sit down beside her and open your mouth to ask her how she is doing but you are cut off by her.
  113. >RD: “Why didn’t you come to the hospital? All the others were there.”
  114. “Well, I wanted to clean up before you came.”
  115. >RD: “Yeah right. You didn’t even think about maybe doing it after I came? I waited for you to come pick me up.”
  116. >What the hay!
  117. >You spent all day cleaning up just so your ´bro` could come here and rant about you not being there for her.
  118. >You cleaned this up for her more than for you.
  119. “Do you have any idea what it looks like when you let a drunken Celestia into your house!”
  120. >RD: “No.”
  121. >IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION.
  122. >RD: “Chill dude. What was that with a drunken Celestia?”
  123. >Okay maybe yelling at your new roommate is a bad idea.
  124. >You should definitely tell her the story of drunk Celestia.
  125. “Okay, Celestia came by yesterday to offer me a job…”
  126. >RD: “That’s great Anon! We should celebrate.”
  127. >No one ever lets you finish.
  128. “Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway I open up a bottle of wine to celebrate, that turns into two bottles of wine and so on.”
  129. >Rainbow is snickering now; she knows where this is going.
  130. “Celestia starts singing and dancing. Now that I think about it she has an amazing voice.”
  131. >The snicker quickly changes into a loud laughter.
  132. >Now for the best part.
  133. “After she emptied bottle number… I don’t remember she got real~ friendly.”
  134. >Rainbow Dash is still laughing when she asks. “Wait a moment… Dick you buck her?”
  135. >Now you are the one laughing.
  136. “Of course I didn’t bang her.” That sounded a little mean. “I mean she’s my boss, you can’t buck your boss.”
  137. >Rainbow Dash’s laughter dies down. “So what are you going to work as? Cleaning toilets at the castle?”
  138. >Yeah as if you would ever clean toilets.
  139. >Okay you would clean toilets for your salary.
  140. “No, I got work as an ambassador.”
  141. >Dash’s jaw hits the floor. “An ambassador? That’s awesome!”
  142. >Yeah. You are pretty awesome now that you think about it.
  143. >Later that day a familiar mail mare knocks on your door.
  144. >Derpy: “Hi Anonymous, I have a package for you.” Derpy drops a large cardboard box on your doorstep.
  145. “Thank you Derpy.” You say as you pick up the package.
  146. >Celestia this thing is heavy.
  147. >You shake it a bit.
  148. >It sounds like metal.
  149. >Derpy: “I’m so happy you are out from the hospital, I couldn’t visit you because I’m not allowed inside with all the expensive stuff.”
  150. >That’s why she didn’t visit you.
  151. >You thought she just didn’t like you.
  152. >You wrap your arms around you and give her a big hug.
  153. “I’m glad too.”
  154. >RD: “Oh hey Derpy.”
  155. >Rainbow Dash appears in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”
  156. >Derpy: “I just came to visit Anon and give him a package from Celestia.”
  157. >Celestia.
  158. >You all stand there for a moment not saying anything.
  159. >Aahhh.
  160. >This is nice.
  161. >Derpy: “… you can let go now.”
  162. >You quickly do so. “Hehe, sorry.”
  163. >Awkward silence is awkward.
  164. >Derpy: “Well I better go.” She says with reddened cheeks.
  165. >Not long after Derpy left Rainbow blurts out. “I can’t take it, what’s in the box?”
  166. >You bring it inside and open it with a knife.
  167. >You LOVE Celestia.
  168. >Bits.
  169. >Bits everywhere.
  170. >And a note.
  171. >”Dear Anonymous.
  172. >I had a lot of fun yesterday and I look forward to having you work at the castle. Luna might not have gotten a good first impression but I am sure we can fix that. Next time the alcohol is my treat.
  173. >As promised 300 bits in advance.
  174. >Sincerely yours. Celestia.”
  175. >How sweet of her.
  176. “Three hundred bits.” You say and tap the box with your hand.
  177. >RD: “Sweet, let’s get something to eat and then we’ll figure out what to use the money for.”
  178. >Having Rainbro as your roommate is going to be perfect.
  179. >You just know it.
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