Thread 91: Stories 61-75

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>Sombra
"JJ"
'Acty'
-2-
~???~

>Well there those two went.

'Ungh...'

>Is he going to be alright?

"I think so, he's honestly taken it harder. From me, even."

>...right. Mr. Jugglejack, may I ask you a question?

"Yes?"

>Were I to momentarily leave 2 under your care, on a scale of one to one hundred, how safe would she be?

"Erm, well-"

>Keep in mind that this will be the amount of pieces I will leave you in if you fail.

"...7."

>Then guard her well...AND STOP SAYING THOSE THINGS YOU SAY! AWAY!

Whoosh!

-Get 'em, Somby!-

~*Static crackling*~

-What?! Tasers do not work on ghosts!-

~*Sounds of a hammer smacking an anvil*~

-Do not!-

~*Seagulls*~

_*chitter*!_

-See!? Mr. Cockroach agrees with me!-

"...this town is so weird..."

'Owww...'

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>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~~~~

>Dang, didn't think this stuff would get this outta hoof did ya'll?

"..."

>Yep, good thing we're so sane, ain't we Tia?

"..."

>Yep. Couple o' level headed... smart... kind...

"..."

>...Erm-

"Hey, Applejack? I've got a question."

>...uh oh.

"Do you think Twilight ever programmed in the realistic sensations of having an axe shoved up your rectal cavity?"

>...Ah'... Ah' really hope not.

"LET'S FIND OUT!"

>NO TIA NO!

"SAY IT NOW APPLEJACK, YOU LOVE IT SO! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAUUUUULT!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'???'
[???]
~~~~~

>TIA STOP!

SWING!

>THIS AIN'T FAIR!

CRACK!

>AH'M NOT AS STRONG AS YOU!

THUCK!

>THIS AIN'T RIGHT!

"Ain't right? Ain't right!? You know what wouldn't be right? Me, at last, after allllll this time, all these questions, all this nag nag nag nag nag nag NAG NAG NAGGING, when granted with the opportunity to FINALLY get a bit of catharsis, a bit of revenge, to let it slip. To let this golden moment pass me by as if it had never been! No, no dear Applejack, I will not let this slip by. For the last year or so, you have pushed me, you have made me lose my mind. Well, now it is time to reap what you sow.

Deliciously, she hefted her bladed whip above her head, letting the metal gleam in the light.

"And I'm going to take my crop out of that gigantic apple ass whether you like it or not."

>...Ah' think ya'll got some issues ya' need ta' work through.

"Good point!"

>NO WAIT AH' DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE-

'RARRRRRRRGARBLE!'

>NOT YOU TOO-OOF!

Out of nowhere, a purple blur tackled the orange pony, wasting no time before letting loose a salvo of punches to her face in a midst of an uncontrollable rage.

Thankfully, she had the muscles of a mage, and the other the durability of a barbarian, so...

>OW! OW! OW! TWI STOP! TWI-OWOW! IT ain't stoppin' me it just really hurts-OWOWOW! Stop! Stop it! Ya'll stop that right now! YA'LL STOP THAT RIGHT NO-OWOWOWOWOW!

"Hey! That's my kill, NO KILL STEALING!"

'RAGGGGRRRH!'

"Now you listen here you overzelous bookworm, I will not be denied my-"

'GRAAAAGGHHHHHH!'

SWING!

The world froze as her giant barbarian axe swung towards the white princess, dodged only by surprisingly fast reflexes and even more surprising nimbleness from someone so large. The blade, thankfully, found no purchase in skin. What it DID hook, however...

"...Twilight, if you have ever loved me as a teacher, if you have ever treasured the time we spent together, you will not-"

Too late.


She pulled back on the axe ever so slightly, completely by accident, and the hooked end of the massive blade tore that which it had slipped under.

In this case, a tiny little scrap of fabric on Celestia's, and this is calling it charitably, 'armor'.

Specifically, the backside area.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

[RAAAAAGGGG!]

The world froze one again as the fabric on her ass ceased it's descent, held together once more from where it had been split. Held together by the most unlikely gripping tool there had ever been.

>...Y'all cannot be serious.

Teeth.

"...Good job, Shiny!"

She awkwardly, reached back, patting him favorably on the head as he held her 'armor' together.

"Phew! Thank goodness, my succubi loses attack and resistance if she's forcibly disrobed by another... which sounds terrible now that I'm saying it out loud."

[Ah know.]

"But you're always there for me, aren't you Shiny!"

[Yep.]

>... Ah'... Ah' can't look away.

"As well you shouldn't! This is the power of teamwork, Applejack!"

She said, pointedly shaking her massive rear with the white stallion still latched onto it.

>Ah' don't wanna see this. Ah' feel like Ah' need a shower now... all the showers...

[Ain oveh yeh.]

>...No...

Coyly, with a glint in their eyes, they proceeded to make Applejack's life hell.

Slowly, Shining Armor trailed up, still keeping the grip so as to pull it taut as he did so, and without ever once letting go untangled the knot along her spine holding up the faux coverings along her ribs and chest.

Then just as slowly, just as carefully, he pulled it all down, and with one quick twist it all fell away, leaving her completely and utterly bare.

>.........why.

Her answer came when a wave of power let loose from the white mare succubus, pushing her back ever so slightly.

"Simple logic. If forcibly disrobing me makes me lose power, then oh so consensual having it torn off... and oh, I am very consensual to having him take that off right now."


She crooked a hoof under his chin, lifting him up to give him a loving peck on the cheek.

"Thank you, my knight, now if you don't mind.... uh oh."

[...Uh oh?]

"Uh oh."

[Uh oh.]

"...Ohhhh no."

[Celly, you gonna- OH FUCK!]

>What, what're ya'... ah' hell.

She rolled the lavender barbarian, who had all this time previously been still pinning her down. Twilight did nothing, eyes staring ahead with a blank, empty gaze.

"Oh fuck, we broke Twilight."

[TWILI NO! Speak to me!]

>Don't worry, Ah' got this...

SLAP!

>Wake up ya' idgit!

She did, in fact, wake up. Well, her body did at least. From the blank, total emptiness in her eyes, something else distinctly did not wake up.

'....gg-gg....ggggg-ggg-.... G-G-GGRRRRRRAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

>OH FUCK!

Applejack ran.

Twilight followed.

And the two white ponies could only watch, and awkwardly shuffle.

"... I cannot believe she just watched that."

[Yeaaaahhhhhhh...]

"...Thanks for the save, Bubblehorse."

[Anytime, Sunbuns.]

"Is that an offer for more?"

[Please wait five minutes until I can clear the image of my sister looking at us like that from my head before bantering.]

"....Fair enough."

[...So you gonna-]

"No. I will have to be content with Twilight hurting her, for now."

[Huh. Who are you going to go after next?]

"As far as ponies who have made my life very difficult... I have a list.... oh... I have such a list..."

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>18
"42"
'Dash'
-Rarity-
~???~

Smash! Smash! Crash! Bash! Splen rupture!

>This is fantastic. We don't even have to do anything, I'll just turn them on themselves like it's nothing.

"But then I don't get to snap their necks and mount their heads on pikes."

>What?

"What?"

>...just run defense for me. My plan is full proof but it requires my full attention. As long as nothing like...like a...

~Set of bagpipes blowing full blast in your ear?~

>Yeah, as long as that doesn't hap-wait wha-!?

KA-SCREEEEEEECH!

>GAAAAAAHHHHH!

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

~Disruptful Tune! Great for distracting uppity spellcasters! Tootaloo!~

>I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!

"Don't worry! I'll get her!"

>WHAT!?

"I'LL GET HER!"

>WHAT!? WAIT! COME BACK! WHO'S GONNA GET ME!?

-Ohhhh, I think that pleasure falls to us, darling.-

'Your changeling-'

-Enchantress.-

'Enchantress mindfuckery won't save you now!'

>WHAT!?

'I said it won't help you now!'

>WHAT!?

'I SAID-'

-JUST BEAT HER UP! AND SHRED THOSE GAUDY RAGS!-

'CAN DO!'

SMACK! SLAM! UPPERCUT! SUPLEX!

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 >Chrysalis
"Spike'
~~~~

>....Do you really think you stand a chance?

The pair circled one another, the tall one garbed in white and glowing a heavenly light and the short one enshrouded in black and reeking of evil.

The irony was not lost on either of them.

"Ask yourself this, what does an undead have to lose-"

>Okay, stop.

"..."

>Seriously, stop with this. Are you trying to trash talk right now? That wasn't a trash-talk on my end. I was asking, honestly.

"...Come again?"

>I'm an Angel.

"But... but..."

>An Angel that follows the path of the awesome succubi, yes, but just an angel anyway.

"Sooooo-"

>So undead versus an angel.

"...That normally doesn't go so well for the undead."

>In fact, best case scenario, I bring you back to life and then kill you all over again.

"That is something you can do actually, yeah."

>So...

"..."

>...

"...NGH!"

SPLAT!

>WHAT THE FUCK!?

"WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP!"

>WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST THROW IN MY FACE!? This better not be poison!

"It's not!"

>Then what is it!?

"Leftover goat milk!"

>...

"Yeah, I'm serious. We got like, six bottles of the stuff after we burned do-er, helped a farmer and he gave it so we'd go awa-to reward us I mean. We used up the others, but that one got pushed to the bottom of the bag and you know how. I'm pretty damn sure that's spoiled."

>...

"Yeeeep, smell says spoiled."

>...

"...I probably should have kept running instead of explaining that, I made it pretty far."

>...

"And you're not chasing me. Why aren't you chasing me?"

>...GLK!

"And now the spazzing. What... why spazzing?"

>L-l-laaaaaaact...laaaccctoosss....

"Lactose intolerant? What? Bullshit, you eat cake and cereal all the time!"

>C-chaaaracter.

"Why would you possibly..."

>...N-needed Charisssmaaaa...

"...Huh."

>GLRL!

"...Oh my gosh, I can finish her right now! I can finally stab a bitch! I CAN FINALLY MAKE YOU SUFFER YOU GIANT-"

PUNT!

"CURSE MY HUBRIIIISSSSSSSSSSSssssssss...."

*DING!*

>...THIS HURTS SO MUCH!

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NC
>Faust
"Craig"
'???'

>Seriously?

'Hahahahaha!'

"And I thought her changeling thing was bad."

'Oh bite me, the little bastard knows what he did. Going all brooding when he's got two ladies after him. Puh-lease.'

"Larson, you got problems."

'SUFFER NOT THE DRAGON TO SUCCEED!'

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>Spike
‘Shiny’
“Cele”
[PD]
{Luna}

‘…you hear something?’

“No. Why?”

>-sssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

<Slam>

>OW!

A black ball of spikes crashed into the prince. Colliding with him and knotting both figure up into a mass of limbs which traveled several feet before coming to rest.

‘Owwwww~’

“Shiny!”

>uhhhhhh….

Spike stood up and looked at the solar Princess.

>Hey youuu guuysh…howzzit goin’?

He slurred all three of them he was seeing.

“Hello Spike. Here to fight…us?”

>YEP! Coursh I ammm….

“I have to be honest, before we begin, I’m still curious about the….well everything you’re wearing.”

>Oh THish? …I have not been having the besht day~~

“I can see that”

>Have at you!

With a mighty ballet cry he took one step forward!

…and fell over with a mighty thump.

“…I’m sure he’s fine. Shiny?”

‘I’m…not feeling too hot..got some kinda black thing stuck in me….feelin drained…woozy…’

<THUMP>

“BUBBLEHORSE!”
----

{…The black one just inadvertently took out the prince using spike as a projectile weapon didn’t she?}

[So it would appear princess]
The princess grinned.

{Save a recording, we wish to rub her nose in this later}

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>42
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>HA!

SMASH!

"Nopers!"

>HO!

CRUSH!

"Naaaadawadda!"

>...GNNNN!

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH!

"...Neit!"

>INCONCEIVABLE!

"Yeah, I pretty much put all my points into dexterity, you would not believe the stuff I could do! I could probably watch someone while they rode me!"

>...

"...On... on my back, I meant."

>Well, obviously, how else would you do it?

"...I don't feel like we're talking about the same things."

>If this is supposed to be innuendo, then leave that to... Eighteen? Hello?... the fuck is she?

"Back there."

>Why... why didn't she follow me? Aren't I defending her?

"That's what I thought."

>Oh, well, since you're over here, she just reset her enchantment, right?

"...Nope, looks like they're hitting her, a lot."

>...So let me get this straight, when I run off she either hast the options of sticking with me and being defended, or just waiting until I chase you off and then redo the thing she really easily did the first time, and yet...

"Seems to have landed on 'neither of that'."

>...

"Aren't you going to go help her?"

>I... I should, but...

"...'

>...I kind of feel like she deserves this...

"Well, so long as-"

>SUCKERPUNCH!

"OH SHIT!"

PUNCH!

>...That didn't feel satisfying at all. That felt empty, hollow and vapid. In this, what is supposed to be a game of merriment and fun, I find myself... void.

"...It's just a game, chill the fuck out."

>...Ehhh, point. I need to get more into the swing of things!

"That'a girl-OH CELESTIA NO-"

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH

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NC
>Cadence
"???"
~~~~

>Wow, this is going south. Maybe I should...

"..."

>...Celestia, what are you doing to my husband?

"Well, see, he got stabbed."

>And...

"And... how the fuck else is a succubus supposed to heal him?"

>...Oh! Oh, that makes sense, yeah, okay.

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Aren't you going to keep going?

"Not sure if serious..."

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>Pommel
"Sucker Punch"
'Colstly'
-Janitor-

>Okay, so to recap. Pegasi?

"Up top, providing recon."

>Unicorns?

"Covering any approach and blasting anything that's a robot."

>Changelings?

"Similar to the unicorns but...I dunno, more buggy."

>Remind me to thank those guys later, aaaand Earth Ponies and Peacetrotters.

"Keeping watch on the civilians and staying the hell away from any of those little freaks."

>Okay...okay but we need a way to push back. They're going to keep coming at us but that could take hours to get all of them. Maybe if had the pegasi sweep through and lead some unicorn and changeling teams to their positions...

"But then that'd open the pegasi up to ambush just rushing through alleys and the like."

>Exactly.

"And battle saddles are...impractical."

>Eeeeexactly. This one is a puzzler-

'Then allow me to hit the easy button!'

>...You again?

"Her again?"

'Me again!'

>What are you doing here!? You're the one who built these things in the first place!

'Technically the factory built them but that's beside the point! I'm here to help stop this nonsense!'

"Pff."

'No really! Look, I know we aren't on the best of terms...what with you apparently using robots after that big speech, but I don't hold grudges! I'm here to give your pegasi the punch they need!'

"Hey, I punch just fine!"

'But do you punch...with LIGHTNING!? Janitor guy! Do...do the thing!'

-Free samples?-

"Oh not THAT stuff again!"

'Multiple phials of our finest Storm Shock Infusion! Throw these at one of the Droids and they'll be sufficiently fried long enough for your other boys to get in there and smash them before they can cause any more harm.'

-To her image.-

'To the CITY! Why do you keep saying things like that!?'

>"-...-"

'...sorry. Stressful day. But if your pegasi just drink these, it'll give them more than enough charges to deal with this scourge.'

>What happens with any left over charges of it we have when this is over?

'...light show? I don't know, your disgression. I just want the city safe again.'

>Right...hey! Anyone have experience with these thing-

"I do."

>...really? When?

"Partyland, I took a tour of the 'Hall of the Future' or whatever it was called. Drank one of those things and kept my hand a tingly electric joybuzzer for weeks because Princess Sparkle wanted to study it."

>So you know how it-?

"Act like you're throwing a punch and lightning happens."

>Huh. OKAY! Who wants to volunteer for the Shock Brigade!

+Is it-?+

>It is just as cool as it sounds!

+ME!+

~ME!~

'Oh, it doesn't work on changelings.'

~RACIST!~

'We're working on it! Distribute the product, Janitor guy.'

-Here.-

"..."

-...-

"Have we met?"

-Nope.-

"...alright. LET'S ROCK AND SOCK SOME ROBOTS!"

'Droids!'

>"~+WHATEVER!+~"

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 >Poindexter
"Cadence"
~~~~~

Fire. Ice. Flame. Frost. Heat so searing. Cold so bitter. These were the things flying to and fro as the greatest of their groups battled for supremacy.

>I got you!

"Nuh uhh!"

>Did so, I cast fireball!

"Well my ice shield blocks fireball!'

>How does ice block fire, stupid!?

"Because ice is made of water and water beats fire, so neh!"

>But fire turns water into steam!

"Only if it touched metal or something, if fire just touches water it just goes out!"

>Well... then screw you, I cast lavaball!

"Ha! Now you're screwed!"

>How!?

"Lava turns into rock when it gets cooled! All you did was make a wall to protect me!"

>Nuh uh! That's not how that works!

"Yuh huh!"

>Nuh uh!

"I saw it on a documentary!"

>You did not!

"ICEBALL!"

>Ha! Fire melts iceball!

"But now you're getting hit with water!"

>...Stop cheating!

"I'm not cheating!"

>Uh huh!

"Nuh uh!"

>Uh huh!

"I'm going to tell Auntie Luna on you!"

The grandest battle Equestria had ever seen... had just begun.

>"NUH UH!"

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 >AJ
"Twilight"
'???"
~~~~~

>OW! TWI-OW! TWILIGHT-OW! OW! OW!.... FUCK YOUUU!

"GRAAAHGH!"

>GET OFF'A ME!

With a single shove, she at last separated herself from the one beating her face in, glaring her down as the lavender alicorn prepared another swing.

>That's it! Ah've had all Ah' can take, and Ah' can't take no more! This is it! Ah'm done!

She hefted her mage staff above her head, magic beginning to swirl in every direction.

>Fine, ya'll want me ta' be magic!? Ya' want me ta' cast some spells!? Well, fuck you! Ah'm gonna cast some spells alright! Ya' see this!? YA' SEE THIS NOW, LUNA!

Power bubbling from the tip of her jeweled staff, she gestured at her awestricken friend.

>AH'! AM! DOOOONNNNEEEE!

With an explosion of light, magic and sound, the world became a blur, impossible to see or hear.

And then, nothing.

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>.....

"..pfft..."

>Don't.

"Pffft."

>Don't ya' dare.

"...PFFTTAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

>THIS HERE IS WHY AH' HATE MAGIC!

'FOR THE QUEEEN!'

With a thunderous hoofstep, a satyr of ice hefted a blade above his head, and prepared to stab the unsuspecting alicorn.

"No."

And then he stopped.

'...No?'

"No, just... no."

'No.'

"Nooooo."

'...No?'

"No."

'Why no?'

Her berserker rage gone, the laughs returned as she once more looked to the huffing, angry orange friend.

Or rather, she hoped she was still orange. All the flowers covering her body from fetlock to nosetip made it very hard to tell.

"She's suffered enough."

>Fuck you!

She tried to stomp off, she really did.

All she managed was to make it three inches and then fall over flat on her face, the plants and vines wrapped around her making it impossible.

"...She's suffered enough."

>FUCK! YOOOOUUUUUU!

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>Sombra
"Figurines"

>Right...so it's come to this.

The wisp of the former ruler of the Crystal Empire glared across the stately plaza he'd found himself in at the dozen or so droids that stood at the other end. He allowed himself a glance up at the sky, where the distinct shapes of pegasi were throwing what appeared to be lightning down into the city below, followed by the explosive sounds of other mechanical menaces being destroyed.

>Do you hear that, you little fools? That's the sound of you losing this fight. If you know what was good for you, you'd all exit these robots and line up for a proper disenchanting.

"WE WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU DAEMON!"

>I didn't figure you would, but I owed Shining Armor the courtesy of not destroying all his old miniatures.

"YOU AND YOUR FOUL CONSORT WILL NOT WIN THIS DAY! WE SHALL DESTROY THE HERETICAL MUTANT GIANTS!"

>...what was that about a consort?

"THE FOUL INSECTOID MONSTROSITY THAT STOOD AT YOUR SIDE WHEN WE WERE AWAKENED! WE HAVE KILLED HER CULTISTS AND TAKEN FROM THEM THE ICONS BY WHICH SHE IS WORSHIPPED!"

>...are you talking about the?

Sombra's jaw dropped as-before his very eyes-the lead robot pulled out sack of marshmallows and stomped them to a fine paste on the ground.

>...

"NOW YOU SEE THE WAGES OF HERESY!"

>...

"WE WILL CLEANSE THIS WORLD IN FIRE!"

>...

"...f...for the empress?"

>...I'm pretty sure the process of disenchantment is a quick and painless procedure. But in your case...

In an instant the entirety of the lead robot's field of vision, and therefore that of its pilot's, was engulfed in the hateful stare of a being bent on vengeance.

>I will find a way to make that not true.

The Space Mareines of the White Hoof Chapter were renowned the universe over for their devotion to the God Empress and their ferocity in battle. It is said in the annals of their codex that to show fear is to bring shame upon their holy patron.

The God Empress most definitely was facehoofing on Holy Equus.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Poindexter
"Cadence"
'SA'
[Celestia]
{Chrysalis}
"'18"'
(?)
^?^
~~~

In all the commotion, it was growing harder and harder to figure out which of the two 'leaders' was more hotheaded.

>BOOM BABY!

Poindexter cackled with glee as he let loose more fire, having not a hint of shame as he openly danced around. He threw them left, right, up down and every which way, just because he could. There was no rhyme, even less reason to his actions. Seemingly nothing but chaos and madness, and fun.

And oh, he had fun.

"Hark, vile firelord, I shall-"

>HAHAH!

Cadence, far less so.

"...I shall-"

>AH HAH! AHA HA!

"I'm trying to stay in character here!"

>And IIIIII have no such inclination! I have UNLEASHED my full power, ICE WITCH, and now I relish in the fire that consuuuuumes me!

"...Why are you talking like that?"

>Because it is FUNNN! AHAHAHHAHA!

"Actually kind of annoying. I'm trying to be dramatic!"

>Then you are as foolish as you look, my frosty foe of freeze! AHHAHAHAHA!

"Did you just call me foolish!? EAT IT!"

Again and again, she fought. She called her minions, she threw her spells, and of course she just plain tried to ice him, no pun intended. But, no matter what she did, he had a counter.

Hordes of enemies? Just send his own hordes right back.

Ice spells? Just needed to dodge or trick her into throwing it at a neutralizing fire spell.

Straight up tried to attack him? Away he flew, zigzagging and twisting, sparing not a single mana point no matter how much she fired. It was a long, fruitless battle that left her with blurred vision of hate and little else to show for it, and it was wearing on her patience quite thin.

"Come on and fight me already!"

>Ohhhh, but my deeeear, it is not yoouuuu I want!

"What? What are you..."

In all the flying, in all the commotion of powers being thrown and all of the twisting and turning, she didn't even realize to which portion of the battlefield she had flown over.

More specifically, who they had flown over.

"OH MY GOSH! SHINY!"

While yes, he was being tended to with a host of magical potions and healing items, she doubted that sword in his chest felt very nice... Or the gaping hole when it was pulled out, either one just seemed like something he wouldn't enjoy all that much.

Yet, he was suspiciously low on screaming...

'Wow... this feels weird.'

[Weird. This feels 'weird' to you. You literally have a gaping hole where your chest should be, and it feels 'weird'.]

'Yeah.'

[Not "Blindingly painful'?]

'...Nope.'

[Shining, if you're trying to impress me, your backside does that plenty, you don't need the useless bravado.]

'No, I'm serious, it doesn't hurt at all. Just kinda... feels weird.'

[...Oh, oh riiiiiight. Forgot Twilight... ah, yeah, this probably worked out.]

'Huh... so that's what it would look like if I got stabbed... neat! Glad I didn't have to figure that out the hard way!'

Cadence figured now was a good time to put her focus back on the cackling firepony.

"What do you want with him, monster!?"

>Ohhhh... nothing muuuuch... justREVEEEEENNNNNGGGGEEEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"Revenge for what!? He hasn't even talked to you in game!"

>..

"...Oh, right. That whole thing. Sorry, kind of got focused on my own problems that day, didn't really have time to focus on you."

>Running theme in my life, I noticed.

"What?"

>I said NOOOWWWW! MY REVENGE SHALL BE COMPLETED!

From his seemingly eternally burning cloak, he pulled forth what looked to be a spear, one forged of the magma of the earth itself. It bubbled and sizzled as he admired it, seeming to pulsate in his grip.

>While you were so fooooolishly tossing your powers every which way like an idiot, I was preparing, summoning my strength for this, my ultimate spear of fiery retribution! I call it, SUN POKER!

"...Really?"

>With this, I will have my REVEEENGE on the world that shunned me so!

"He didn't shun you, he just uh... kind of had stuff to do?... Mostly me stuff... sorry."

>And I shall be the one to have his REVEEEENNNGGEEE!

"No? I mean, why tell me, I can stop it now."

>...No, no you can't.

"Can so, I just need to buff his armor a bit."

His grin went wild, feral and crazed as he hefted the spear above his head, drawing the attention of all the fighters as his fire lit up the sky like a sun.

>That will not stop my revenge.

"Preeetty sure it would, but even if it didn't I could just you know, stop it."

The light shrank, condensed, coming together like a collapsing star, smaller and smaller until it fit in the cusp of his hoof. With a single swing, he joined the light and spear, bringing it together in a blaze of glory.

>That will not stop my revenge.

"I could even just punch you, really hard, and then take the spear."

Finally, whatever he had begun had ended, and with one fluid movement he reared back...

"Or I could just delegate!"

And then jerked to the side when suddenly struck by a blow to the side of the head.

Down he tumbled, down down down down down into the ground with a massive split of the earth. And oh how he wished that was the most painful part of that.

{HAH! Fucking nerd!}

His eyes went wide with uncontrollable rage as the tall black beauty cackled with glee, flying over him while carried on the wings of angels.

{Awwww, wassamtta Dex? Didn't see that coming?... HAH!}

There were very few things in his life that made him really all that mad.

She, without question, was one of them. If not the greatest source if it. Even now, watching her fly there, watching her smirk, look all powerful, look unstoppable, look unbeatable, it made him think of nothing else.

"'Okay, Chrysalis, that was uncalled for.'"

18's comments did nothing to help. Somehow, his old former companion and helper in these matters limping to join them made it all worse, for they felt... insincere.

[...He was charging up a giant attack.]

"'No, I agree, and I mean the insults afterwards, you know? Seems poor sportsmare like.'"

{Pffft, welcome to Queen Chrysalis, this is how I do shit. The fuck's up with him anyway?}

"He's mad at Shiny."

'Wait, he was going to hurl that at me!?... Wish I could say I was surprised.'

{HAH! What'd you do, finally find the stack of porno mags underneath his bed?}

And that was it. That was the thing.

He could, for the most part, choke down when she insulted him, belittled him, threatened him and all that. He could ignore her just as she often would him, most days. He could even brush off her comments, most days.

But no, way, no possible way, could he have reacted any other way to this. She had to have known, Shiny had to have told her what he had done, and yet she was pretending like it wasn't even a thing, like that whole falling out was a hoofnote, at best. A minor annoyance from a minor speck in the universe.

That was the thing that made him hate on a level greater than all others.

That was the thing that made him feel alive when he cocked back, and hurled that spear.

{OH FUCK! SHINY!}

She moved, as he had expected her to. He had calculated the movements from all of them to the T. Chrysalis and Celestia put themselves in the way, of course, and of course Eighteen was quick to hurl her every enchantment of defense, but that wasn't what he was interested in. No, he was only interested in one pony on this field.

Cadence put all her buffs into his armor to block the shot.

...And absolutely none where it should have gone.

"...Oh, crap."

Which is to say, right into her chest.

Where the spear had gone instead.

'CADDEEENNNNNCCEEEEEE!'

That, too, he had calculated. He knew he would scream dramatically, push past them, rush to her side and cradle her in his forelegs. He knew Celestia, Chrysalis and Eighteen would gasp in horror. He knew they would look on, shocked, unable to move, unable to do anything but watch her fall into his waiting, horrified arms. This, he had all planned.

Everything had been planned.

He supposed he knew it was, by far, the cruelest thing he could do. Attacking Shining? Peh. That was nothing, that was a tuesday afternoon for a guard. Beating him at the game? Meh, that was what his sister called 'bonding time'.

But this, ohhh, this... this was special. This was doing the worst thing that he could have ever done to him, making him watch as all protected him, and he couldn't protect the one he loved the most. This was, in this moment, the worst thing he had ever done.

...Or, it would have been, if not for what had happened before this.

>MWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

'WHAT DID YOU DO, DEX!?'

For, before he had thrown that spear, before he had even entered into this room and joined this game, an odd thought had entered into his mind.

He was an avid comic reader, of course. As such, he knew all about the long publication history of the adventures of Mane-Iac. He knew all about how many foes she faced, how often she lost, how many schemes were thwarted every issue, a lot.

{-YOU LITTLE FUCKING-}

And yet, one thing he questioned was... why was she never really angry? Sure, there were panels or two where she raged, she lost all sense and lead to her own defeat, stuff like that, but she was never truly angry-angry, he noticed. She was never truly so mad she clung to it after an issue. One and done, every time. She never held a grudge that made her feel bad.

Didn't she, as a villain, have some sort of clinging hate or doubt? Why was it the same every week with her, same old?

"-'GOING TO EAT YOUR SOUL-"'

Why couldn't she ever stay mad? How could she, denied what she had wanted, never really hold onto it?

Ever since that day in the park, that had been something he had wondered, and yet, he had never managed to piece it together.

>I have....

He never managed, not even close...

>I...

Until exactly three seconds before he had gathered the power to throw that spear.

>I have placed... AN ENCHANTMENT ON HEERRRRR!

'...wait, what?"

He didn't know why, in that moment, her madness mad sense to him. The madness all villains must have to go through these motions escape after escape, scheme after scheme. This must be something so intrinsic to all of them, and yet dwelled upon by none.

Was it just a story convention to prevent from having to talk about every scheme up to this point, or to point out how long this had been going on, or draw attention to their inability to keep the villains locked up? Yes.

Yes, it was all of that, technically... but for now, for once, he understood it.

He truly understood it.

The madness had shown him how.

And it. Was. GOOD.

>AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Fooooolish warrior! I have placed a DEADLY enchantment on her! For I, being consumed by the LOORRRDD of fire, do not believe in love! You fool! YOU FOOOOOOL! Love is but an illusion! No true meaning! Noooo, I do not feel love could truly be real, so I have placed her into a timed moment of death! Soon, sooooon paladin of LIGHT! MY fire shall consume her, and you shall know that there is no such thing as love! Your religion says love can conquer all, that no magic, no matter how great or chaotic could be it's end? PAH! To you I say, FEH! This shall prove that love is not all powerful, for if it was, no magic could stop it, no!? AHHHHAHAHAHAHAAHH! YOU SHALL FAILLLAAAAHAHAHAAHAAH!

It was all worth it.

The cheesy dialog, the overblown production, the needlessly complicated plot.

All of it was worth it for the look on his face, as all hurt, and rage, and anger was just gone away in under a second. Gone away faster than an exploding bomb would send fire flying.

All worth it to see the jaws of everyone in the room drop. Even Chrysalis's.

Especially Chrysalis's.

'...OHHHHHh... oh, so this is a 'kiss her and she wakes up' deal?'

{Oh... that's... easy?}

[Rather anticlimatic.]

"'Isn't... isn't that... good?"'

'...Huh.'

It was good, Poindexter decided. Sure, it was cheesy, sure, it was easy, sure, it wasn't quite as grandiose as he had wanted, but it was enough. It said what he wanted to say, and that was it, and he was happy with that.

Now, all he had to do was sit back, watch him succeed, and play the part. The villain never really won, not in the end.... And now he understood why that was okay.

....buuuutttt.

What Poindexter, for all his thinking in his own mind, could not comprehend was what was going on inside of the brain of the only other stallion in this lopsided campaign. For he could not see the gears whirring in Shining Armor's mind. He could not see the sparks flying, the heat building as his synapses toiled away.

He had, in all this time, not forgotten what had been said to him yesterday, the talk outside of Applejack's home, none of that. He had, in all this time, still thought of it, kept it in the back of his mind. A part of it bothered him even now, to be sure, but...

Poindexter, and they both knew it, was wrong. He loved his wife more than there were atoms in a star. He loved her more than anything, even himself.

So, if she was willing to take a metaphorical bullet for him, if she was willing to support his crazy side thing with Eighteen, welllll...

He supposed he was, as he was with everything else, willing to take that bullet for her. Real or metaphorical.

As, he knew, would...

'...I'm onto youuuu.'

>...Wait what?

The fiery pony shuffled back when Shining Armor accusingly threw out a hoof, pointing to him dramatically.

[Shiny, what are you talking about?]

'Think about it, doesn't this all seem... too easy?'

"'Well, yeah, we were just commenting on that."'

'But doesn't it JUST seem too easy?'

{...Yeahhh?}

'That's because... IT IS!'

>...Uh-

'Oh ho hooo, thought you had me, didn't you!? You knew my Paladin Divinity lets me see what type of curses there are, and ohhhh, indeed this one IS to be broken by a kiss, isn't it!?'

>Yes?

'But it can't be that simple!'

[...Yes it can.]

'When have you EVER known Poindexter to do stuff simple!?'

{...Huh.}

'EXACTLY! So he knew I would confirm it, and knew that I would kiss her to wake her up, THAT'S JUST WHAT HE WANTS!'

>...yes? I... I don't...

'Because... IT'S A TRAP!'

"'WHAT!?"'

[Oh my, that would make a lot of sense, wouldn't it?]

'I'm onto youuu, you want me to kiss my wife and then BAM! Something happens!'

>...She wakes up?

'But I'm too clever for you. We'll wake her up with a kiss of course, but not by me! Ha!'

>...S-s-seriously?

'Outfoxed you, didn't I?'

>Outcrazied me, actually, and that is really saying something.

'Pfft, onto you. Now... hrmmm...'

""Oh! I got this-"'

'NO!'

"'...Why?"'

'Because... I mean, he interrupted our date, OBVIOUSLY he would plan for you too.'

{Wait, who did what now?}

'"Oh, right..."'

[So... are you saying I should? Because I will-]

'No! Because... you're a succubus, of course he'd plan for that.'

[Oh, point I suppose.]

{...Oh, uh... sure, I'm... I'm do-}

'NO!'

{...}

'...because he doesn't like you and would plan for it.'

{Oh, right... are you sure? That seems a little thorough-}

'No, the one who must do it is... YOU!'

Dramatically, he swung his hoof around, pointing behind him to where none had been looking.

To where now, sitting there looking quite confused, was the totally stock still form, of Forty Two.

(...W-...what?)

'No way would he plan for you. Wrong typing, no romantic history, no negative history, nothing!'

She had, of course, heard everything, waiting for the moment to strike Poindexter in vengeance. But while she was a master of stealth and fighting, she wasn't quite on the level of how to respond when someone asks her to kiss his wife.

This was a new thing.

{...You sure? I mean, that's kind of-}

"'No no, it makes sense! Perfect sense, now that I think about it."'

[Well done, Shiny! I'm impressed!]

>...You all can't be serious.

'Forty Two, please come over here and kiss Cadence... but be professional about it. Girls? Don't jeer.

[Wouldn't dream of it!]

"'Need it to get Caddy back, obviously!"'

{...}

Timidly, like a frightened animal, she advanced, moving past the parting party members with lock-clicked, hard steps. She kept her eyes firmly trained on the downed princess, never looking up for even a second, not even to Shining's understanding, accepting face.

Gently, the grip was changed, and Cadence moved from stark white arms to stark black ones.

And that's when Forty Two realized she was shaking.

'No worries, it's just a spell breaker.'

[Yes, just be quick about it. Peck and done.]

'"It's not a big deal!"'

It shouldn't have been a big deal, Forty Two realized. This wasn't real, none of this was real. There was no ice armor on her skin, there was no grass under her hooves, Cadence wasn't actually hurt, none of this was as it should be. None of this was reality.

Yet, nothing in her life had felt more important.

Nothing, in her life, had frozen her worse than looking down at that angelic, beautiful sleeping face, and thinking to herself how much she had thought about this, even if she didn't want to. And now that it was here...

She should be a soldier, she should be able to do this without question. She had been ordered, she-

Wait! She hadn't been ordered yet, she realized, all she had to do was-

{Forty Two...}

She, at last, could tear her vision away, could look up to the face staring down on her with a strange intensity. No anger, nothing even close to that emotion. No, this was something she had never seen on her Queen's face before, and she didn't understand it at all.

{...Do it already.}

The last limiter, the last thing holding her back gone.

There were no more excuses.


Even with her stomach on fire.

Even with her brain boiling in her skull.

Even with the pressure in her blood about to rupture out of ever vein.

Something, be it hardened in determination of a soldier, be it the need to obey her Queen or Shining, be it a desire to see her alive again once more.... or be it her own heart.

Something let her finally bend her head down, and gently, ever so gently, touch lips to lips.

...And then there was fire.

>HOLY SHIT!

'GAH!'

[FUCK THAT'S BRIGHT!]

"'IT BURRNNNSSS!"'

{...Huh.}

In the moment skin and chitin had met, she had felt something inside of her. Something inside of her had come loose, and had forced it's way out.

Something inside of her was alive, and it would not be contained.

Something inside of her had left, very quickly, through her horn.

It looked like a beacon of light reaching unto the heavens, a beam of power, a brightness and a strength. It came from her, rushed out, up and to the 'sky'.

She held on for maybe just a second longer than she should, savored it just an instant after when it was time to let go, cherished it as she kissed the other just a moment past it's time.

And then it was over.

She pulled back, gasping for breath all the while, and did anything she could to look away from the perfect, beautiful, stunning, gorgeous face she had been linked to an instant ago.

Then she immediately regretted it when she looked at all the wide eyed, stunned faces.

(...U-uhh...)

She didn't know what to say. How to react. How to address them all looking to her like she grew every single head in the world and sang in perfect harmony. What, exactly, could she do.

"Wait, that was Forty Two... Oh! ...thanks!"

She took no offense to the groggy words of the waking princess. In fact, it spurred her dry mouth on.

(NO PROBLEM! GOOD!?)

"Hm? Oh, yeah, good job!"

She took that admission as an okay, instantly rushing Cadence back into her shocked husband's arms.

(...Y-you uh... I... me....good?)

She shook, she rattled, she felt more fear right there than she ever had at any point in her life.

And yet... it subsided when Shining Armor smiled at her, and patted her on the shoulder.

'You did great. Glad you were there.'

(I...I...I...)

Strange.

For some reason, she really wanted to cry.

Huh.

She would have asked her Queen, but for some reason... she had been silent this whole time.

Utterly, deadly silent.

Just that same expression. She did not know what, exactly, it was.... but it didn't seem to mean angry.

Good enough?

>...There wasn't a hidden spell or something.

'Oh, really?... Meh, whatever.'

Everyone tried really hard not to think about that.

'Hey, Dex?... Glad to be playing again with you.

Much like he tried not to think about that.

>...L-Luna? Hey, Luna? Is that... I just used up all my power, and hers is gone, Luna? Luuunaaaa?

But there was nothing.

Silence.

'...What do you suppose is going on up there?'

~~~~~~~

^C-Computer!? What is wrong!? Computer!? Computer!^

But there was nothing. Nothing on her end but static. She heard the blare of sounds but nothing to join along with them. In an instant, her companion had gone away from her, and she knew not why.

For she could not see the other so far away, she could not see as she had lifted a mug of freshly brewed coffee to her lips at exactly the right moment, she could not have seen look on her face as the changeling kissed the princess, and that coffee had exploded from her lips. She could not see that, or the frantic wiping as the monitor sparked and fizzled.

She could not see any of it.

Or hear the curses she let out.

But, somehow, she would swear she managed to hear what came next.

She, and everyone else, somehow, heard when Pennydrop threw her head back, and let out a roar to the heavens.

~FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~

Internally, Luna hoped her computer friend would return shortly.

She had to...

^Computer, return!... It's almost time for the finale!^

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
~~~~~~~

Chrysalis, honestly, questioned very little.

She never questioned why she did some things, or thought too hard about some feelings she had for certain other individuals.

So, her questioning this, this part right here, threw her for a loop.

She was not angry, of course she wasn't, it was Forty Two, she could never be angry at her, truly.

She was not upset, for she realized there was nothing really to be upset about, and it would not stick in her mind.

She was not either of those things.

She was experiencing an emotion that she wasn't familiar with, wasn't a hundred percent on. She knew she wanted Shining Armor, that made sense. If anything should have stirred emotions like this in her, it should have been regarding him.

And yet.

And yet...

No matter how she looked at it, or thought about denying it, or any excuse she made.

She, and she would admit this only to herself in her worst moments, she...

She wasn't happy, because it hadn't been her.

She had wished he had picked her.

>...The fuck does that mean?

She had no inner brain to tell her that.

She, unlike others... would just have to wonder.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________