Math jokes 11-15

Dec 27th, 2016
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  1. December 11th
  3. Prof: “Quicksilver has a density of about 14 grams per cubic centimeter; iron has a density of 7 g/cm³. Does this mean that an iron ball can swim in quicksilver?” – Student: “Yes, even two balls can swim!”
  6. A physician hangs up a horseshoe above the door of his laboratory. His fellows are surprised and ask him whether he believes this would bring him good luck for his experiments. He said: “No, I take no stock in such superstition. But some people said that it even helps if you don’t believe in it.”
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  10. December 12th
  12. How many qualified employees do you need to change a lightbulb?
  14. Anti-nuclear demonstrators: Six. One who changes the bulb and five who discuss about its safe permanent disposal.
  15. Officers: 45. One who changes it and 44 who manage all of the paperwork.
  16. Britains: None, they rather like to exit their house.
  17. Zen-Masters: Two. One changes it, the other doesn’t.
  18. Electricians: Two. One changes it, the other precautonarily calls 911 [or whatever emergency number]
  19. Feminists: Seven – one to change the bulb, three who protest against the socket being humiliated by the bulb, two who secretly wish they were the socket, and one who secretly wishes she was the bulb.
  21. Business students: One, but 400 apply for the job.
  22. Programmers: None, it’s a sheer hardware problem.
  23. Windows users: 100. One who changes it and 99 who click away all the error messages.
  24. Members of ruling coalition: Three – one who changes it and two who blame the opposition for the bulb blowing.
  25. Quantum mechanicians: One who PROBABLY changes the bulb.
  26. Social educators: One, in case the bulb is willing.
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  30. December 13th
  32. A mathematician, a theologian and a biologician stand in front of an elevator. Two persons enter; after some time the elevator comes back and three persons exit. What do the guys think? The biologican: “Well, they propagated.” The theologician: “A miracle! A miracle!” The mathematician: “If now some other person enters then noone’s inside.”
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  36. December 14th
  38. An engineer, after hearing a talk of a physician, can’t recover from two hassles: Firstly the physician talked about eight-dimensional spaces, and secondly the mathematician next to him seemed like he understood everything. The other day he asks the mathematician how he could understand everything, and the mathematician responds: “At first I conceive of an n-dimensional space. Then I simplify the situation via n=8!”
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  42. December 15th
  44. A sociologist, an engineer, an experimental physician and a mathematician sit in a train driving through Scotland. The sociologist looks out of the window and says: “Oh, look, a black sheep!” The engineer: “All sheep in Scotland are black.” The physician says: “No, all we know that there is at least one black sheep in Scotland.” The mathematician says: “Not even that, we only know that there’s a sheep which is black on at least one side.” The physician feels snubbed and ripostes: “In Scotland there’s at least one sheep that appears black to us from this distance and under the current view conditions.” This goes too far for the sociologician, so he pulls the emergency break and all four of them walk over to the sheep. Once they’ve reached it, they see that it is indeed white on the other side with black spots. Then the farmer comes over, and the sociologist says: “You’ve got some odd sheep!” Then the farmer: “That’s not a sheep, that’s a goat.”
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