The Lord Mechanist

Joufoss Borderlands
Hellwatch Keep
Year 128 of the Eagle
Ten minutes to suppertime

I was just finishing up the last of the days repairs when the alarm bells started ringing across the valley. The runner arrived only moments later, bring dire news.

"Lord Mechanist!"
He gave a salute, which I quickly returned.
"Monsters have breached the redoubt! They will be upon us before nightfall!"
"Runner! Carry these orders to High Command! They are to fire on the pass as soon as the Guns are ready! I will see to it that my men are dug in before then. If they see red flares, they are to continue firing until sunrise!"
"Yes sir!"
"Jameson!"
I turned to my leftenant and assistant.
"Rally the men and prepare all armors to mobilize as soon as possible! We shall meet them at the pass and hold the line far from this fortress!"
"Yes, sir!"
With orders doled out, the three of us set about preparing for battle. This was not the first time the monsters had come this far, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. But even so I knew that I--

"Excuse me? Mr. Amy's Dad? Is this really how you met Amy's Mom?"

"Why yes...uh..."
"Cathy."
"Why yes Cathy!"
"Its boring. When do we get to the part with the spider?"
"The spi...oh you mean the Seige-Walker?"
"Yeah, the spider."
"No. Spiders have eight legs, while the walker had only four and..."
"Dad, just...just humor her, okay?"
"Oh, alright."

So, once we reached the pass we saw the monsters had repurposed an ancient Seige-Walker. Much like our armors, it was a piece of salvaged technology from the Fallen Kingdom. A war machine, capable of breaching fortress walls, made of metal so it could easily shrug off all but the mightiest blows. And unlike similar, more primitive contraptions, it could be run by a single operator.

I ordered the men to fan out and take up positions around the pass. The armors would be more than enough to clear out the monsters who had made it that far. Then it was just a matter of holding out till the Guns were ready.

But the Walker was another matter. The narrow walkways and steep climbs of the pass were child's play for its mechanical limbs, and with its steel armor I wasn't willing to count on the Guns to save us. No, that abomination needed to taken down before then, or we risked losing the Keep. I gave my orders to Jameson, and headed out on my own, taking the pass by leaps and bounds with the help of my armor. Soon enough I found myself at the base, and face-to-face with the Seige-Walker and its insidious operator...

"Amy's Mom, right?"
"I...uh...yes."
"Cathy, stop interrupting."
"Sorry."
"Dad, you can keep going."
"Right so..."

I found myself face-to-face with the Seige-Walker's operator, a Gremlin. They were a crafty breed, easily capable of building and modifying advanced technology. I had to be careful, for I knew behind those stylish goggles and pint-sized frame lied a monster more devilish than I could imagine.

"Ah! The Lord Mechanist! We meet at last!"

"Uh...honeybun?"
"Oh, sorry! Did I interrupt? I thought it would be fun if I said my lines."
"Right, of course. Then I believe my next words were..."

"Begone, foul beast! And all your kin, too! Or face the might of the Eagle!"
"Hahaha! You humans claim the Eagle, yet we shall be the ones to liberate you to the skies of passion!"
"Never, beast! Your misguided passion shall be your downfall!"
"We shall see...but for now...behold! My latest creation! With this invincible war machine, at long last the armies of our Lady shall scale these peaks and claim for ourselves all that you have to offer."

She gave a lascivious smirk, with tongue and bared fangs, and I knew words would be useless. The time for battle was at hand. Until the thunderous cry of the Guns, I would make my stand.

It began suddenly, with a roar from the bowels of that infernal machine. Most warriors were trained to stand firm against the battle cry of an adversary, but as Lord Mechanist, I recognized at once the charging of an energy blast. Instead, I took off running towards the rock wall of the pass. With my reflexes, it was simple to dodge each blast the moment it was let loose. And with the strength of my armor, I easily scaled the cliff walls to reach a vantage point from which I could plan my counterattack...or so I thought!

"Well done, but just try dodging this!"

A high-pitched screeched emitted from the Walker, and soon after a terrifying beam shot forth, arcing across the rockwall far above my perch. Soon I was set upon by a hail of boulders, with the Gremlin laughed at my struggles.

"...Hmm? Oh, right...Hahahahaha! Is that all you've got, Lord Mechanist?"

Fortunately, with the help of my visor--a joint project by myself and a trusted ally--I was able to study the boulders as they fell, and plot a course to safety. And then...

"Urrraahh!!"

I took two smaller boulders in hand and, again drawing on the power of my armor, tossed them in a targeted strike right at the Gremlin!

"Uwah!? Ngyaaa!!"

Taken by surprise though she was, she had no issue deflecting them with metal hands of her own.

"Like the big floaty ones in the garage?"
"Very similar!"
"Uhmm..."
"Right, sorry. Go ahead."

"Where are you, Lord Mechanist?"
"Riiight HEEREEE!!"

With the Gremlin distracted by my earlier attack, I moved unseen further up the cliff edge. Finding myself in the perfect position, I jumped right on to the Walker's back, landing with an incredible impact. The machine heaved...but it did not break. Victory would not come so easily.

Now nearly within arms reach of my foe, we exchanged and rapid flurry of blows. It wasn't easy, but in the end my fists of steel won out, pulverizing her great metal hands till they were nothing but busted joints and sparking servos. Now seeing my opportunity to end this, I slowly approched the green-haired imp...only to narrowly avoid being impaled by countless spikes and needles, unfolding and bursting forth from the pack on her back!

"Actually those would have--"
"Well I didn't know that at the time. Now then..."

I narrowly avoided the surprise attack with a quick backflip, but my landing was uneasy. Then, the sudden lurch of the war machine as it began to move tipped my balance and sent me careening towards the earth below. I let out a cry as the Gremlin only mocked my plight."

"Hahaha! So long, Lord Mechanist! I'd love to stay and chat, but I have greater heights to reach!"

Only, I hadn't really fallen at all. The impact from my earlier landing had knocked loose some cables on the underside of the Walker, allowing me to hang on unseen as it began its assent up the pass. I bidded my time, watching the movement of its four legs closely. Then, gathering my strength in my steel fists, I let loose a tremendous blow on the cliff face. I could only imagine the look of panic on the Gremlins face as the stone beneath one of the Walker's legs crumbled away. The machine teetered precariously as I swung around to the other side and struck the cliff yet again. Now with two legs hanging freely, I needed only deliver the coup de gras.

Gathering my strength and focusing my efforts, I swung myself first towards the cliff. Then, letting go of the cable, I thrust my feet out, pushing myself back off the cliff into a somersault, spinning my body about and repositioning myself every so precisely. At last, I was in position. I delivered a mighty kick square to the underbelly of the machine, forcing it to relinquish its grasp on the rocks. Propelled nearly to the top of the cliff, I reached out with one arm and grabbed hold of the edge, digging in as best I could. Turning my head around, I witnessed the results of my efforts. The Seige-Walker was sent hurtling towards the ground far below, falling from such a great height that it struck the earth with a thunderous boom that rivalled even that of the Guns. It's legs flailed for a moment, then ceased as black smoke came billowing out of its damaged frame. With a grin, I pulled myself over the top of the cliff and waved to my compatriots far above. They returned a hearty cheer and began to head home, knowing that the day was ours. Soon the great Guns would fire upon the pass, and the monster army would be forced to retreat. Yes, we had won!

Or so I thought!!

"Not so fast, Lord Mechanist!"

I hadn't the time to react before I felt a prick on the nape of my neck. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw her. It was that same Gremlin! No doubt she escaped off the back of her fallen machine and hid herself amongst the rocks, waiting for her chance to strike. She grinned devilishly. Her ploy succeeded, and one of her mechanical appendages had easily been able to inject me with a strange liquid. My vision grew blurry as my strength began to drain. I looked up towards the top the pass, but my allies had already begun to depart. I tried to call out to them, but my cries were drowned out entirely by...yes...by that.

The entire mountain range shook as countless bursts of smoke emanated from a peak on the horizon. The Guns of Joufoss had been fired, right on schedule. The monsters still crawling around and towards the bottom of the pass became to make a panicked escape. In mere minutes, the pass would be a land of fire and death--of that we were all certain.

I turned back to the Gremlin. She was trembling, transfixed on the coming horror. Her large ears twitched intermittently. I wondered if they could already hear the projectiles in flight.

Perhaps it was due to the effect of her poison, but I did the only thing that came to mind. I went straight up to the Gremlin, grabbed her in my arms, ran as fast as I could and dove towards the earth as close as I could manage to the mouth of a nearby cave.

"'Hold on.' Somehow, I knew you said 'Hold on' just before the blast. I didn't know what else to do so I obliged. Those arms, that armor of yours and those strong arms...it was at the moment when I... sorry I'll let you continue."

"Right...so..."

I came to sometime later, finding myself--

"Hold on, didn't everyone get blown up?"
"Cathy!"
"I'm just saying..."
"I'm getting to that."

So, I came to on the ground, face up at the mouth of the cave. I had no idea how much time had passed, but night had already fallen. Finding the energy reserves on my  armor fully depleted, I manually freed myself from the frame and, after quickly assessing the rest of my belongings, shuffled on deeper into the cave.

Some monsters had already taken up shelter in the cave interior. Not very many, say five or six. I remember a Lamia, an Arachne, and a little fuzzy one with long ears--I didn't really know her species. Most of them were nursing an injury, either their own or another's. I imagined similar scenes were playing out all over the pass.

They eyed me suspiciously before glancing over to their leader, the Gremlin, slouched against the cave wall. Her cocky demeanor well diminished, she looked at me expectantly. Without all her machines about, and free from the heat of battle, it occurred to me just how much I towered over her. I decided I might as well just ask her up front.

"First, tell me, how is it that we are still alive and mostly unharmed?"

She reached inside her jacket and pulled out a small device. She smiled faintly as she showed it to me.

"Personal Force Field Generator. When you grabbed me...I must have...it malfunctioned and went off, shielding us. Drained almost all my power reserves, but it kept us safe. I guess you could call it a miracle of science."

"Second, how did you free yourself from beneath me? And why did I awaken on my back?"

"Your armor... it's very nice. I could interface with it..just a bit. Enough to work the servos to losen your grip. I couldn't get you out of it, though, and it wouldn't be safe leaving you in an uncomfortable position."

"Third..."

This was the question that had really been bugging me.

"What happened to my pants?"

When I looked over myself just before entering the cave, I noticed my belt and the buttons of my trousers had been undone. What's more, the fit of my boxers seemed a tad different than earlier in the day.

"Hehehe...uhm..well...once I got your arms off me, I didn't have enough energy left to move the rest of you. That and I needed my machines to help out the others. I took what I could from your armor's reserves but..."

I nervously recalled that woozy feeling after she injected me with that liquid. I had a feeling I knew where this was going.

"Well... your body seemed ready enough so...I replenished my reserves... manually, I guess?"

An impish grin spread across her face as she--urk!

"Honey!? Wh..what are you..."

"It was really quite something once I fished it out. I had never done it myself before, not even for practice. These small hands, gently wrapped around your massive, throbbing cock."

"Honey...please..st--ouh"

"After a few tentative strokes, pre started flowing from the tip. I found myself transfixed, unable to avert my eyes as the masculine scent overwhelmed me."

"H...honey...pl... please...not in front of..."
"It's okay, Dad, Cathy's already seen it a few times anyway."
"I....ah....ahh..."

"Yes, it was just too much! My breathing grew ragged as I brought my lips closer, and closer, and closer still. I could almost taste it now. Almost, but not quite. That wasn't going to stop me, though, and in one bold move..."

"Ah!! Hon...honey! C...coming!"

"Oh wow! Amy, your Dad is amazing!"
"Of course he is! He made me, after all!"

"Just like that, I accomplished my first unaided ejaculation of a human male. It went in my mouth, so I couldn't use it directly to recharge my instruments. Fortunately, this small device her between my legs converted my own... excitement...into a power source for my machines, so not all was lost. Even more fortunately, this little guy was ready for round two almost immediately. With your father still out cold inspite of it all, I saw no reason to hold off milking the excess energy out of him. He did look cute, sleeping like that, but I was more into shocked and fearful expressions back then. I just starting pumping, and pumping, and p...pumping. After the fourth or f...fifth load, I finally had a full charge, but...oh goodness...he was still... still...if you'll excuse me..."

"Huff...huff..where...where was I?"
"Mom just answered question three."
"Right..."

Understandably, I was taken aback by this admission. I had never been with a woman before...but that was beside the point.

Without losing a neutral expression I slowly reached for the device at my waist, took it in my hands, and aimed it at the Gremlin.

She smirked, but the other monsters looked increasingly anxious. I acted swiftly to prevent a misunderstanding. I swung my arm about the shoulder, now angling the device outside the cave and into the sky. I placed my finger beside the trigger and began speaking calmly and clearly.

"This is a flare gun. Standard issue. When I pull the trigger a burst of light will shoot out and explode. On a night as clear as this, everyone between the foothills and the city will see it. And when that happens...the Guns will fire. Again. And again. And again. On and on till dawn."

By now there wasn't a single monster in the cave who wasn't listening intently. Then the Gremlin spoke up again.

"...Umm... where'd your mother go?"
"Garage, I think. Playing with her toys."
"Then I take it she won't be joining us again?"
"Probably."
"Well, I'll have to do this on my own then. Humor your old man and just imagine I was doing it in her voice."

"Big man...with a little gun. It'd be funnier if I hadn't already seen what else you're packing. You haven't fired yet, so I guess you want something?"

"I want you and yours to turn back, head down the pass, and never return."

"That third demand is impossible, but you already know that."

"Nevertheless."

"Suppose we attack you right now and stop that flare from going off."

I moved my finger right on the trigger now.

"You're welcome to try. The Guns are ready to be fired as soon as they see the flash. The successive impacts will no doubt bring this cave down around us. The topography will be irreversibly altered, and you, me, and everyone else here will be..."

"Don't underestimate us, human. What if we stop you?"

"Then you are free to head up the mountain towards Hellwatch Keep like before. The aim of the Guns will be adjusted by a few degrees, and the number of human casualties will far exceed just myself. Can you girls live with that?"

"I suppose not."

I moved my finger off the trigger again.

"So, remind me again what happens if we give in to your request."

"All your forces have to retreat down the mountain, past the redoubt and back to your territory. You will even be free to retrieve your wonded and any others from your side. As you said, I can't keep you from trying this again, but you should know the outcome won't be any different."

"And what about you?"

"I will return to my post at Hellwa--honey? You're back sooner than I thought. And your panties!?"

"You think I'd let you finish this story without me?"
"I just thought..."
"Human, you have no leverage making such demands. If you are so sure of yourself...fire that flare without hesitation."
"I...uh...right..."

I had seen how swiftly some monsters could act, and I knew they had strange and impressive abilities. Even pulling this trigger was an uncertain act. The only real insurance I had against these monsters was...

Again, my fingers flew to the trigger. But my hands were now shaking, my aim uneasy. I had seen those Guns fire so many times that it now haunted my dreams. What's more, there was the feeling deep inside that was becoming harder and harder to suppress. For five long years I had been stationed at Hellwatch. And for five long years I had seen nothing of my beloved homeland. Nothing but rock and dust, smoke and fire. I felt a hot tear streaming down my face.

"I remember that tear. It looked delicious."

Yes, I was afraid, I was conflicted, but then I remembered the men waiting back at the Keep. My aim steadied. Then she spoke up.

"Human... surely your allies will come to retrieve their Lord Mechanist, even if he were to disappear beyond the redoubt?"

"Yes, surely they will."

"Then you have my word we will not attack until then at the soonest. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes."

I removed my finger from the trigger once more, and lowered my arm to my side.

"Good boy!"

And that was that! I become a prisoner of the monsters in exchange for them suspending all incursions into Joufoss lands until further notice.

"That's it? But you were still enemies! And what about that Jamie guy!? And the Guns!?"

"This was the story of how Amy's Mother and I first met, not necessarily how we fell for each other. But if you really insist..."

Five weeks had passed since that fateful encounter, and I was--

"He got backed up. She jacked him off a few times, they started working together building machines, and have been growing closer ever since. You know, the usual."

"Pretty much. Jameson became my man on the inside, working to keep the peace. He also makes sure the Guns don't fire if we don't act first."

"Boooooring!"
"Cathy!"

"No, she's right. Not everything has to be hot sex and giant robots. And frankly, that's how it should be."

"Honey!? Are you coming!?"
"In a minute, dear! Or less!"
"HA!"

"Well, if we're done here, your mother is expecting me and I need to go find my powerfist."