Untitled Eris Green

Mar 16th, 2017
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 23.32 KB | None | 0 0
  1. >It's not often you can say something on the internet has actually thrown you off.
  2. >You've seen it all.
  3. >Dead bodies, lemonparty, weird porn, gore, if it’s on the internet, you've probably come by it.
  4. >You've been desensitized, like so many others.
  5. >But, it's a simple DM conversation that's starting to throw you off.
  6. >The conversation started off pretty innocently.
  7. >A week or two ago someone messaged you on Twitter asking how your day was.
  8. >Normal stuff you would find from any lonely person trying to make fake internet friends.
  9. >A mixture of pity and curiosity led you to respond.
  10. >And from then on you've been talking with them.
  11. >They're sort of weird, but aren't we all?
  12. >But, that weirdness lost its charm rather quickly.
  13. >Today when you checked Twitter you saw a message notification.
  14. >Expecting nothing out of the ordinary, you opened it.
  15. >”Now then, I must ask, why did you shut the elevator on that woman yesterday?”
  16. >Some random thing you did and told nobody about.
  17. >Something this guy knows about.
  18. >A big red flag that something is off.
  19. >The source of the jitters you have now.
  20. >But, it's just innocent enough that you still want to play along.
  21. >So, you start typing out a reply.
  22. >”I dunno, just felt like it. How do you know bout that?”
  23. >And then you wait for your reply.
  25. >The other guy responds surprisingly quick.
  26. >They must have been online already.
  27. >”Really? Just like that?”
  28. >You frown at their reply.
  29. >There was conveniently no answer to /your/ question.
  30. >And that question is sort of important to you.
  31. >So you press again.
  32. >”Seriously, how do you know that?”
  33. >The next reply takes a little longer.
  34. >”Why did you cheat on your last significant other?”
  35. >What the fuck?
  36. >When was that, two or three years ago?
  37. >Regardless this “stranger” should have no idea.
  38. >Only one person knew and it was the girl you were seeing on the side.
  39. >And it didn't even last long!
  40. >”None of your business. I'm done talking.”
  41. >With that you block them, putting your phone down with a sigh.
  42. >Do you have some kind of stalker?
  43. >Should you call the cops?
  44. >You rub your temple, sighing.
  45. >This is not okay.
  46. >Whatever /this/ is.
  48. >Deciding not to involve the cops get, you turn on the tv to help you forget about this.
  49. >Your hand is shaking a little as you work with the remote.
  50. >Stuff like this online has always felt so distant to you, it was easy to be detached.
  51. >But now it's you who's being toyed with and it's really getting to you.
  52. >The tv is on some random game show, nothing special but nothing awful.
  53. >So, you watch it for a bit.
  54. >It's some sort of quiz show, basic stuff wrapped in some signature twist that makes the game look unique.
  55. >You're almost half asleep watching it when you hear the host ask something very odd.
  56. >”Now then, why /did/ you cheat on her anon?”
  57. >It almost sends you flying out of your chair.
  58. >Frantic, you rewind the show.
  59. >This time, those host merely asked a contestant if they're a fan of quiche.
  60. >Most definitely not what you heard.
  61. >Is your mind playing tricks on you?
  62. >Probably.
  63. >But it's freaking you the hell out.
  64. >You take a series of deep breaths to calm your nerves.
  65. >Maybe tv was a bad idea.
  66. >Yeah, frayed nerves can do without all that stimuli.
  67. >Perhaps just listening to some music?
  68. >Just good old audio to drown out your anxiety.
  70. >You put your headphones on, turning up your phone’s volume to levels that will make your cochlea shrivel up and die.
  71. >And just hit shuffle.
  72. >This is more like it.
  73. >You, laying back, having absolutely no room to think about anything besides the music blasting your ears.
  74. >Your eyes begin to droop a little, the worry subsiding slowly but surely.
  75. >But just as things start to feel peaceful, the song lyrics get awfully weird.
  76. >Hardly even lyrics honestly.
  77. >They don't rhyme and just barely fit the beat.
  78. >”Why don't you want to answer?”
  79. >”It's a simple question!”
  80. >”Why did you want to do that?”
  81. >”I'm not trying to judge!”
  82. >The oddness of the lyrics is only outdone by the fact that the song abruptly ends there.
  83. >It feels like something just cut the song short.
  84. >The next track that plays is a podcast.
  85. >That's odd, you never once listened to a podcast, let alone downloaded one.
  86. >”Today on ‘The Familiar Chaos’ we ask our listener very important questions about life and motivation! Should be a very interesting show!”
  87. >A few things come off as weird to you beyond the fact it's a podcast.
  88. >The host’s voice sounds vaguely familiar.
  89. >You can't quite place it but you've heard it.
  90. >And secondly, why did he say listener and not listeners?
  92. >Instead of just turning it off like a sane person, you keep listening.
  93. >It's almost like you're asking for it.
  94. >”Our first question, seeing as how the other one received no answer is as follows: Why did you make that fake dating site account?”
  95. >You instantly take off your headphones.
  96. >What the hell is going on?
  97. >Why is the world grilling you on random shit you've done.
  98. >It's getting creepy as hell and even more annoying.
  99. >As you try and get over this, you check the time.
  100. >It's 12:28.
  101. >Fuck it, it's not /too/ early to have a drink.
  102. >You get up, pouring yourself a shot.
  103. >You hardly ever touch that bottle of vodka, but now is damn good to try it.
  104. >The shot burns as it goes down your throat.
  105. >It makes you cough a bit, not at all smooth.
  106. >As you finish coughing, you look over at your tv.
  107. >A simple phrase is on there in overly fancy typeface.
  108. >”Oh come on!”
  109. >Didn't you turn your tv off anyways?
  111. >With everything that’s been going on today, it doesn’t take long for you to simply accept the tv turned itself on.
  112. >You pour yourself another shot before going and sitting down on your couch, staring at the tv.
  113. >This is probably just going to keep going on and on until you confront it, so you might as well get this over with.
  114. >The image changes suddenly on the screen, reacting to you finally sitting down and paying attention.
  115. >”Finally! And here I thought I would have to try and get your attention all day!”
  116. >The text is nowhere as large as last time, what with it being several words longer, so you have to lean in a bit just to see it.
  117. >”Now then, I have so many questions for you, but you are just being hard to work with!”
  118. >Yeah, because cooperating with some crazy stalker is a much better alternative.
  119. >Granted, you’re cooperating now, but that’s beyond the point.
  120. >The screen’s text changes again.
  121. >”So, I suppose a more direct approach is in order!”
  123. >The tv’s image changes to a strange, swirling spiral.
  124. >It’s quite the eyesore, and you want to turn it off.
  125. >But, something is keeping your eyes glued to the screen.
  126. >Your peripheral vision is starting to blur, and your head is killing you.
  127. >The headache could very well be from the shots, but that’s not really on your mind right now.
  128. >What’s more on your mind is the fact that you’re glued to your seat, forced to stare at some gaudy animation.
  129. >Soon the only thing clearly in your vision is that spiral, as you feel less and less cognisant of your surroundings.
  130. >How long have you been sitting here?
  131. >It’s so hard to tell.
  132. >All you can really be sure of is that you feel tired.
  133. >Despite your eyes being absolutely stuck to the spiral, your eyelids feel heavy.
  134. >So heavy that eventually you just pass out.
  135. >Unable to do anything but go with the flow of whatever this was.
  137. >There’s no telling how long you were out.
  138. >When you do finally awake, your headache is thankfully gone.
  139. >And you can actually look around now, so that’s an improvement as well.
  140. >Your surroundings however are anything but what you expected.
  141. >A bright forest setting, practically out of a cartoon.
  142. >Like, really, the sky is that bright blue you only see in light hearted animation.
  143. >You sit up, getting a better look at this bright forest.
  144. >It looks like a forest sure, but everything about it is just so simple and bright.
  145. >You’ve seen plenty of real trees in your day, but these trees were nowhere close to realistic.
  146. >”Enjoying the scenery?” asks that familiar voice from the podcast.
  147. >As you look over at the source of the voice, you can scarcely believe your eyes.
  148. >There sits a large, lanky creature, a seeming hodgepodge of countless other living beings.
  149. >The voice makes sense now, as does the weirdly animated forest you’re in.
  150. >But, it making sense shouldn’t make any sense at all.
  151. >You must still be unconscious, because there’s no way Discord is talking to you right now.
  153. >Discord smirks at your apparent confusion.
  154. >”Having some mental crisis there Anon?” they ask.
  155. >You can hardly sputter out a reply, dream or not this is way too surreal for your tastes.
  156. >Seeing your apparent struggle, Discord picks up the one sided conversation.
  157. >”Now, I /knew/ the direct approach would be rather jarring, but you left me no choice! Now, I’ll cut to the chase- I like you Anon!”
  158. >You’re having a hard time paying attention to anything Discord is saying.
  159. >Right now you’re more focused on pinching yourself and acting out all the other “it must be a dream!” tropes.
  160. >Of everything Discord has said, you really haven’t cared.
  161. >It’s just a dream, right?
  162. >Then again, you’ve felt every pinch so far.
  163. >But there’s no way this can be real!
  164. >Noticing your inattention, Discord leans in close, grabbing your attention.
  165. >”May I continue?” they ask sarcastically.
  167. >Before you even reply, Discord continues his speech.
  168. >”As I was saying. I see a lot of promise in you Anon, promise I think I could harness! You have a penchant for testing your boundaries in little ways, do you not?”
  169. >You think it over for a second, knowing fully well you’ll be forced to play along anyways.
  170. “I suppose that’s true.”
  171. >”You suppose?” questions Discord, feigning shock.
  172. >”I’ve had my eye on you for quite a while! You mess with little things. You’ll shut a woman out of an elevator just because you feel like it! You’ll set up a dating profile just to see how people react to your made up advances!”
  173. >Just before you can bring up the odd fact that Discord knows what a dating website is, another more pressing question comes to mind.
  174. “What are you insinuating right now?”
  175. >”I am so glad you asked! A curious mind is a very good thing!”
  176. >Discord pats your head like an owner would do to their dog.
  177. >”I have plans for you Anon! Big plans!”
  179. >”You have dabbled in chaos, trying things just to see the outcome! But, you are far from a master at it. So, I thought why not challenge myself to foster that feeling in you?:
  180. >Your head is starting to hurt again.
  181. >Sure, you do some morally questionable stuff now and again, but are you really expected to believe Discord, a fictional character, has been watching this?
  182. >”And that’s when it hit me! My next great goal!” exclaims Discord.
  183. “And that is?”
  184. >A part of you is scared to hear the answer.
  185. >But, another part of you is very, very curious.
  186. >”To be a parent!”
  187. >You stare at Discord with a look of utter disbelief.
  188. “You’re joking, right? I’m an adult.”
  189. >Discord flashes a devious grin.
  190. >”You’re also human and male, but I can fix that. Now then, it’s time to make you more presentable! No child of mine would look so… /human/!”
  191. >You gulp, knowing you are most likely not going to like where this is going.
  193. >In an instant you're strapped down in some sort of dentist’s chair.
  194. >Leave it to Discord to warp reality in the most /welcoming/ ways.
  195. >Discord himself has a doctor’s outfit, looking over you with a look of enthusiasm.
  196. >”You're going to have quite the radical makeover Anon, I hope you're ready!”
  197. >You vehemently shake your head.
  198. >He either ignores or just fails to notice your distress.
  199. >”Now, I think making you a filly would help you blend in better with the general population…” he mumbles, scratching his chin.
  200. >Oh great, that's a comforting thought.
  201. >You being stuck as a tiny, female pony with a-
  202. >”So we absolutely /can't/ do that! It's too easy! Too predictable!”
  203. “Can we just… get this over with?”
  204. >Discord stares at you for a minute.
  205. >”You're just as eager as I am!”
  206. >It takes all you can to strangle back a groan.
  207. >”Tell me anon, have you ever seen a female Draconequus?”
  208. >You ponder it for a moment.
  209. “Oh you must be joking.”
  210. >The eager grin on Discord’s face says that he is most definitely not.
  212. >The next several minutes consist of Discord poking, prodding, shaping, and stretching your body.
  213. >It feels really weird, considering you know it's probably all unnecessary.
  214. >He's /Discord/, he could probably get this over with in an instant if he wanted.
  215. >But, being Discord, he definitely does not want to make things easy.
  216. >Thankfully this “procedure” is relatively easy to ignore.
  217. >It's almost like a massage.
  218. >A weird, life altering massage.
  219. >Yeah, it's really not like a massage at all the more you think of it.
  220. >You groan, trying to clear your mind of any further weird or confused thoughts.
  222. >After a while the chair disappears, sending you falling.
  223. >Your body already feels super weird.
  224. >As you groan to yourself, you notice your voice.
  225. >It's a much higher pitch, but not as high as you expected.
  226. >When Discord mentioned parenting, you sort of assumed you'd be some squeaky little brat.
  227. >You sound more like a pre teen at the very least.
  228. >A mirror suddenly appears out of nowhere right in front of you.
  229. >You're… certainly different.
  230. >Almost every strange little body part Discord has, you have.
  231. >Your body is long and lanky, and even flexing one of your altered digits feels strange beyond belief.
  232. >It's like they've been asleep for years, and you're just now trying to wake them up again.
  233. >You have a mane of wild white fur, looks almost like a head of human hair.
  234. >Really accents your big, twitchy eyes.
  236. >You glance over at Discord, who is wiping a cartoony, most likely fake, tear from his eye.
  237. >”You look perfect Anon! I must say I've outdone myself!”
  238. >You roll your eyes.
  239. “Whatever Dad…”
  240. >Wait. What the hell did you just call him?
  241. >He picks up on your shock right away and chuckles.
  242. >”We can't have a daughter calling their father by their name, can we?”
  243. >The best you can do is scowl at Discord.
  244. >He's made you into a young, female draconequus, and is forcing you to call him “Dad”.
  245. “This had better not have some weird sexual undertone”
  246. >Always one for theatrics, Discord swoons. >”Why I'd never Anon! I enjoy chaos, not… how do they describe it in your home world?”
  247. >With a sigh, you humor him.
  248. “Weird kinks?”
  249. >They shrug at that.
  250. >”Sounds right enough to me!”
  251. >This is going to be a very taxing existence, you can tell already.
  253. >Discord snaps his finger, and you're suddenly no longer in the lush forest you had found yourself in.
  254. >Because you can’t just have a few minutes to adjust or anything.
  255. >You sigh as you look around.
  256. >It’s a room, one with overwhelming amounts of pink in it.
  257. >Like, pink walls, a pink bed, pink, pink, pink.
  258. >It could be worse though, at least Discord was merciful enough to make it pastels in lieu of neon pink.
  259. >Speaking of you “father”, there’s a piece of paper on the bed.
  260. >You have a little trouble walking at first, not at all used to this body.
  261. >Pink carpets do not break falls all that well as you’ve come to learn.
  262. >Thankfully you’re a fast learner, and after you pick yourself up off the floor, you manage to make it to your bed.
  263. >”Dear Eris” begins the letter.
  264. >”I do hope you don’t mind the name change, “Anon” was just so unfitting!”
  265. >You almost begin to vocalize a complaint before remembering this a letter.
  266. >Then again, knowing Discord, he could very well be watching.
  267. >So, to be safe, you flip off the room.
  268. >Thankfully your weird new hands managed to replicate a middle finger half decently.
  269. >With that over with, you continue the letter.
  271. >”Now, I have never had a daughter before, so do forgive me if I made any errors in your room decor. I’m going off a series of hunches and inferences here you know!”
  272. >It’s like you can almost hear the smug enjoyment in his voice.
  273. >He is probably watching you right now, laughing his ass off.
  274. >You crane your head around, scowling.
  275. >Nothing /looks/ like Discord in disguise.
  276. >Then again, if it’s a disguise, it shouldn’t be easy to tell if it is a disguise.
  277. >Maybe you have something of a paranoia problem.
  278. >But you can focus on your slipping sanity later, you’ve got more pressing issues.
  279. >Like, where the fuck are you right now?
  280. >Where did Discord live again?
  281. >Your room conveniently lacks any windows.
  282. E: “Oh come the fuck on Dad!”
  283. >Discord’s voice echoes in your head, because why not add on to horrible things about being here right now?
  284. >”Now, now Eris, that’s no way to speak to your father! You’re lucky I even let you keep the ability to swear!”
  285. E: “Well, if you’re /so/ offended by it, why let me keep it?”
  286. >Oh fuck you sound like a bratty preteen right now.
  287. >Note to self, do not, you repeat, do not allow yourself to slip into such behavior.
  288. >”Well, I’m sure you’ll find something fun with the capability down the line, so why not?”
  289. >You roll your eyes.
  290. >Something that you feel is going to be a very common thing for you now.
  292. >At least your bed is soft.
  293. >Granted that’s a shitty silver lining right about now, but that’s all you’ve got.
  294. >As you lie down in it, you can’t help but look over your body.
  295. >It’s so unnatural.
  296. >Granted, that’s the point, but you don’t have to appreciate that.
  297. >What the hell are you going to do with yourself?
  298. >What the hell are you going to do about “Dad”?
  299. >What /can/ you do?
  300. >Not much, at least, not much you can see.
  301. >Discord chose you why exactly?
  302. >Because you sometimes get your kicks on being a dick?
  303. >So what?
  304. >Why not get some anarchist?
  305. >Or just about anyone who actually revels in chaos.
  306. >You’re just a hobbyist at most.
  307. >But, that was apparently exactly what Discord wanted in their child, because here you are.
  308. >How old even are you?
  309. >Where the hell are you?
  310. >Why did it have to be fucking pink?
  311. >Your mind is swimming with questions.
  312. >So, you decide to answer the with a big fuck you by going to sleep.
  313. >Do Draconequus need sleep?
  314. >Who the fuck cares, you’re doing it anyways.
  316. >Turns out you can and do sleep.
  317. >That's nice, sleep is a damn good time sink.
  318. >When you wake up, you notice you've been covered by a blanket.
  319. >You had just kind of fell asleep on top of the bed, not really covering yourself.
  320. >Did Discord do this?
  321. >Who else would have?
  322. >At least he isn't being a complete ass about all of this.
  323. >Once you feel at least somewhat awake, you reach over for your phone to check the time.
  324. >But, no phone.
  325. E: “Riiight…”
  326. >You sigh softly, laying back down.
  327. >Equestria doesn't have iPhones.
  328. >It's an obvious statement when you think about it, but in the moment you weren't thinking about that.
  329. >However, there is /one/ more silver lining that you see.
  330. >It even puts a small grin on your face.
  331. >No work to get up and go to.
  332. >You throw your blanket back over your body.
  333. >Why the hell wouldn't you get more sleep?
  334. >Sleep fucking rocks.
  336. >Your second round of sleep goes a little quicker.
  337. >In all honesty you weren't even that tired when you went back to sleep in the first place.
  338. >So it's not all that surprising you only slept for…
  339. >Well, you aren't sure how long, but it felt short.
  340. >As you sit up, you notice another letter.
  341. >What, does Discord just come in whenever you're asleep?
  342. >Do they even come in at all?
  343. >That's two more questions for your running list.
  344. >You'll have to write these down soon, but first, might as well read your note.
  345. >”Dear Eris, I'm sure you're wondering when you'll get to leave your room.”
  346. >Honestly, that's not your biggest concern right now, but it is a decent one.
  347. >”Seeing as how unadjusted you are, it would be cruel to simply throw you into social interaction and the like! Thus, you'll be staying at home for a while.”
  348. >It's not like you expected much in terms of personal freedom anyways.
  349. >But, how long /is/ it going to take?
  350. >You aren't exactly eager to go out and socialize, but being cooped up in here forever doesn't sound all that appealing.
  352. >While you are in here though, you had best make the most of it.
  353. >Surely there's something in here to keep you occupied.
  354. >You start rummaging around in drawers and the like, looking for anything.
  355. >So far no luck.
  356. >It almost looks like other than furniture the room is empty.
  357. >That just won't do.
  358. >You /need/ to have something to do.
  359. >You can already feel the cabin fever setting in.
  360. >That or the boredom.
  361. >Or both!
  362. E: “Um… Dad? You wouldn't happen to have forgotten, y’know, entertainment did you?”
  363. >Silence is all that greets you.
  364. >Because when you want to talk, of course he isn't here!
  365. >Feeling more than a little upset, you sit back down on your bed.
  366. >Just now do you notice the book on your nightstand.
  367. >Has it been there this whole time or did Discord just now put it there?
  368. >Doesn't matter, it's something to do.
  370. >You grab the book, grasping it eagerly with your hand.
  371. >Claw? Talon?
  372. >Whatever, it's, for all extensive purposes, a hand.
  373. >”A Condensed History of Chaos: Vol. I”
  374. >What did you expect from Discord?
  375. >Of course this would be the book you get.
  376. >You're half tempted to just toss it aside, but it is something to do.
  377. >So you start reading.
  378. >The book is exactly what the cover said.
  379. >It's a recounting of chaotic events all told in anecdotal form.
  380. >Based on the writing style alone you could confidently assume Discord wrote this.
  381. >How much free time does he have on his hands anyways to be able to do stuff like this?
  382. >Yet another question for the list.
  383. >All things considered, the book is a relatively good read so far.
  384. >It's not difficult to comprehend, and admittedly Discord does have a fun style of humor in his narration.
  385. >You've chuckled a decent bit so far in this first chapter alone.
  386. >Not bad, not bad at all.
  388. >”And it was then, that due to a simple swapping of plates at a dinner, that a deep resentment grew in the two warlords. Now, for warlords, they had waged very little war for a /long/ time. Thankfully, something so simple was able to fix that!”
  389. >You’ve lost track of time as you begin Chapter Four of the book.
  390. >This one is on “Murphy’s Law and You! How The Worst Thing Can Be the Best!”
  391. >Like how with these two rival clans, everything went absolutely wrong, starting with a mix up at a meal, and ending with both clans being wiped out.
  392. >Pretty metal shit for some fucking ponies.
  393. >But, as you’ve come to learn through these three and a half chapters of content, there have been countless historical events never even touched by the show.
  394. >Discord’s seen it all, well mostly.
  395. >Their scope is far from infinite, but they have a rather /unique/ window into the world.
  396. >Something in you relates to how Discord views things in this.
  397. >Like, normally you wouldn’t find the accidental death of a warlord’s spouse while visiting a rival clan anything other than another bit of tragic history.
  398. >But there’s some beauty in the irony of all of this.
  399. >Both sides were trying to make things right, and it only got worse and worse!
  400. >It actually coaxes a loud laugh from you.
  401. >The hearty laugh throws you off, it was so… energetic.
  402. >Suddenly feeling weird, you set the book aside.
  403. >You’ve had enough.
  404. >You do however quickly slide one of Discord’s notes into the book to keep your place.
  405. >You’ve had enough… for /now/.
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment