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- one of the subjects went into [REDACTED] today.
- it was horrible. screaming. awful screaming. the most horrific screaming i've ever heard in my life. oh god. just thinking about it makes me sick. like a child, in horrible pain, begging for its mother. i can't believe it. i never wanted to believe that [REDACTED] was real, but i never knew how horrible it really was. oh god
- he fucking. killed himself. he screamed so much that he coughed up blood, and then he took a scalpel and stabbed himself in the neck. over and over. still screaming. the image is burned into my memory. god fucking damnit. i never wanted to see that. he fucking stabbed someone. one of our researchers is fucking dead. then he jumped out the fucking window. his body hit the ground and splattered into so many chunks of flesh that my mind went blank just looking at it. it's so awful. so awful. so awful
- i can't take it. if there really are people trapped in this state forever, my heart aches for them. so much. it hurts so much. i can't take it. it's so horrible. it would be better if nothing had ever existed at all. fuck everything
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