Thread 9: Stories 91-105

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>Poindexter
"8-bit"
-Gaffer-
~~~~~

>The OnO crew, together again!... mostly.

"Thank Celestia for that."

>Seriously, why do you guys never come down to OnO night when I'm playing with Shining Armor? He wonders where you went sometimes.

-...Seriously?-

>What?

-Guy's a Prince with, as you described it, a warrior Changeling, a super smart Changeling and a QUEEN all hungry for him, AND he gets to rail his ALICORN PRINCESS wife every night. I've seen them all watching movies, there is NO chance he is not making it a group affair every day.-

>He's not really, they offer but he turns them do-

"It was already bad enough when he used to go hang with Celestia for 'personal time', but now it's just heartbreaking to be in the same room as him."

-OH GOD! WHY HAVEN'T I DONE MORE WITH MY LIFE!?-

"I'M A FAAAAAILUUUURE!"

-"WHHHHHHHHHHHY!"

>...So, you guys want to play or not?

"What? Obviously."

-What made you think otherwise?-

>...Are you BOTH going to play as a soldier class.

"It's just fitting."

-Like a glove.-

>Any particular reason you're both white stallions?

"Taking inspiration from the Royal Guard."

-In memory of our lost friend.-

>He's not dead.

-He's dead to me.-

>...And you INSIST we play on the map that has a succubi lair adjacent to a royal kingdom.

"I don't see why not."

-I need both a Demon Spider's eye and a Diamond core. Purely saving time.-

>...Are you guys worried you're project-

"-WHHHHHHHHY!?-"

>...You find yourselves betwixt two kingdoms...
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>Applejack
"Spike"
~~~~~
Applejack sits nervously in her office, unable to take her hooves off her titanium band when Spike enters, still limping slightly from the battle, still, his pace picks up and he hugs Applejack

"Hey, you wanted to see me, Applebutt?"

>Howdy there, loverboy...

"Okay, what's wrong?"

>Makin' me get righ' to the chase, huh?

"You don't exactly beat around the bush, especially not now. What's on your mind?"

>... Ah want you an' Diamond Tiara off Alpha Team.

"... Can I ask why?"

>It ain' right, Spike! Yer both kids!-

"No! Stop right there! I am NOT 'just a kid' not after everything I've been through. I've got more blood on my hands than Blueblood."

>We put you through it, Spike! ... Ah put you through it... Ah- ... Ah also wanna break up...

"Not holding back anything today, huh? Does a child killer boyfriend turn you off?"

>When Ah'm the one that made him into a child killer an' keep pushin' him to be one!

She was crying now, shaking even

"Applejack, you never wanted this, I did it to myself."

>What if Ah did?! When Ah first started as a princess, Ah told Celestia- Ah wanted to weaponize ya'll! Ah wanted to make you Equestria's trump card, it's mad dog onna chain! She shot me down 'cause she was righ'! And now look at you! Spike, tell me you hurt everyone ya'll hurt fer yer own reasons and not jus' to make mah life easier!

"..."

>Ah- Ah'm not a good pony, Spike. Ah'm the worse... Even when Ah didn' know it, Ah've been manipulatin' you inta bein' mah personal pawn, directin' ya even against Celestia fer landsake!

"Applejack... Do you love me?"

She barely nodded

>So much... So much Ah know it ain' righ' fer me to keep makin' you do this!

He moved to hug her, to kiss her, to comfort her but she pushed her back

>Spike... please... Don' do this to yerself. Jus'... go...

hanging his head, Spike turned and slowly walked away, towards the door, defeated

Spike reached for the door and slammed it shut

"No..."

Applejack looks up, he can see in her eyes there's hope

>P-Pardon?

"I said 'NO', Applejack. You should be very used to that word by now, it's something you've said plenty of times yourself."

>Spike?

"You've said your piece, I'm saying mine here: I'm not a child anymore, I hate being a child, I never wanted to be a child! Being a child meant I was useless, I couldn't help a damn person I cared about or change anything. I get brushed aside, brushed off, or just dismissed as cute. In the worst case scenarios, I'm outright mocked, insulted, and laughed at. What part of that seems desirable? Yeah, I'm not innocent anymore, I've lost faith in people around me because I feel like they've betrayed my trust, one way or another, I think of violent ways to hurt others who hurt those I love, and I have explicit sexual fantasies that include you, Rarity, and gem encrusted thongs!"

The last part made Applejack cough and turn beet red

"I'm not a child anymore, I'm not pure, or innocent, and happiness is an extremely fleeting thing for me. But you know what? If it means I can finally help the ones I care about, I'll do it. As far as the weaponizing thing? You told me the truth, and you want to repent for it, that's all I could ever ask if I asked for anything."

Spike pulls Applejack into a hug.

"You didn't like me doing bad things for your sake, don't push me away and make both of us miserable for mine. I love you."

At that point, they both embraced and broke down into tears that would last for hours.

CANON DEBATABLE
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>Rarity
"Spike"
~~~~~
Spike finds himself sitting alone in the 'gun club' room, cleaning Charity without the usual spirit only going through the motions

A knock at the door he was only vaguely aware of made him automatically say

"Come in."

>Spikey?

"Oh, hey, Rarity..."

>How are you feeling? I mean, every everything that's happened?

"Oh, my leg got a bit rebusted from my scuffled with Brad-"

>Who?

"-and my skull is still mending, all that jazz. But, hey, i have pain killers that do jack all for Dragons."

>Spikey, you know that's not what I'm talking about. You don't sleep as much as you should, something is bothering you.

"... Alright, it's... It's the ponies I've hurt. I did what I had to, I know that. I tried to reason with them, but they don't listen. WHY WON'T THEY LISTEN AND STOP?!"

Rarity just smiles and moves closer and rests a hoof to comfort Spike, he immediately buries his face into her

>Now you and I both know how hard it can be for people to break self-destructive habits. I'm only lucky because I had you to remind me of who I was before, others... others never come back.

"I just... I never wanted to hurt people. I don't enjoy being a bully. But everyone insists on treating my like a child."

>I... I admit to being guilty of that, I never considered how serious you were until recently, and by that time I had thrown everything else away.

"Not everything. Still had your looks."

>Oh, puh-lease, darling, I looked like a whale.

They spend a few moments laughing, Spike's dies out first

"I keep seeing them when I close my eyes. Everyone I've hurt, everyone I've killed. That look in their eyes. ... Even Flim and Flam."

>... They're not.

"They surrendered. They begged for mercy and tried to reason with me, and I wouldn't listen. Why wouldn't I listen?"

Rarity lifts Spike into a hug and stroke his head, he returns it and begins to cry

>It's okay... Let it out, let it go...

"To date, I've killed twenty one ponies, eight in The Pit of a Thousand Corpses so Celestia can have her fucking drinkable cake."

Rarity makes a mental note to speak to Celestia later

>Nineteen.

"What?"

>Nineteen, darling... I switched charity's rounds to less-lethal and altered the trajectory for a less-fatal shot.

Spike just looks at her confused

>You're probably going to hate mt for this but...

Rarity hovers Charity over and holds it so the magic circle can be seen

>Darling, I'm sorry.

She speaks both normally and through Charity Spike's eyes go wide

"You've... Spied on me this whole time?"

Rarity hangs her head

>Yes. I'm sorry. When I first did it, it was cowardice because I couldn't face you again, but I wanted to speak with you, make up for what I had done. ... I betrayed you to make up for my betrayal. And every day I watched you slowly slip away and I couldn't do anything, I wanted to cry because I knew how much you were hurting-

Spike silences her with a kiss

"I... I might have been angry. But I really haven't done anything not to warrant being watched. And hearing your confess, I know you didn't do it to pry, you did it because you cared."

He sat down and relaxed against the stunned Rarity.

"I joked about having a guardian angel, you might have heard. I guess I really have this whole time."

>You're not upset?

"No. No one is an island, we all need eachother to stand together or else we fall alone. When I was falling, you caught me, even if I didn't know it."

Standing up, he kisses Rarity again, making her blush.

"Thank you."

>You're always welcomed, Spikey Wikey.
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>Celestia
"Blueblood"
'Applejack'
~~~~~
In the deepest dungeons of Canterlot, the disgraced, former prince sat in a tangled slump on the floor when he heard approaching hoof beats, familiar ones

"Auntie Celestia... What brings you here?"

>You know why I'm here, even you cannot be that foolish.

Blueblood picks his ears of wax nonchalantly

"I'm afraid I am. It's what everyone else keeps saying."

Celestia bangs against the heavy door

>WHY DID YOU DO IT?! Casualties and injuries are low, but there are still one hundred sixty eight ponies and buffalo who have died over the past few months! Don't you get it, they won't return to their homes, their families won't see them again, their blood is on YOUR hooves.

"No, Auntie, they're on the mud princess! Ever since she was brought here, nothing has been the same. The old ways were being picked away, the authority of the nobility and ruling class was being undermined! And despite all this, what did people have for her? Cheering! They loved her! And isn't it clear why? She brought the changelings! To infiltrate Equestria and plant thoughts in the minds of ponies! You saw it in the Crystal Empire when their queen nearly destroyed the whole land! I needed an army, so that's just what I got. In the end it still wasn't enough to restore my home. Those ponies who won't go home wouldn't have a home to return to. Their kingdom and empire is gone, replaced by a false princess."

>You honestly believe this?

"Why would I doubt my own words, auntie, why do you doubt them?! We are blood! Why can you not trust family!"

Overwhelmed, Celestia staggers away from Blueblood's further mad rants. Nearly an hour later, she's back in the halls of her castle

>Their blood is on my hooves...

Celestia slumps to the floor and begins to cry

~~~~~
'Princess, whaddya talkin' about?'

>It's just like you've said, Applejack... None of this would have happened if I had remembered Blueblood, none of this would have happened if I hadn't asked Twilight to build those weapons and robots, this wouldn't have happened if I had kept better track of Blueblood's spending and habits, this wouldn't have happened if I had just done my duties instead of shirking them to you and Twilight... If I had been a better princess... For all this... I'm to blame. For all this, it's my fault...

Suddenly, she feels Applejack's arms around her.

'Ah don' blame you, Princess... An' it ain' yer fault.'

>... I'm crying.

'Me too, sunny, me too... Jus' know ya don' hafta go it all alone anymore. Ya got all of us to help ya now in tha work, an' fer when ya need to laugh, to cry... Ya got a friend in us, Princess.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Chrysalis”
‘Celestia’
________

>Howdy, ‘Tia. New mornin', new chances, right?

‘You couldn't be more right, dear, and I don’t mean to disturb you or but this document here, form TZ12? I was wondering… what’s that black thing stuck to the ceiling? That's not what I was wondering but it's suddenly more important. Do I want to know?’

“Don’t play stupid, you ass! Help me! Get those things away from that crazy mare!”

‘Uh, Applejack? What is she talking about? And why’s she hiding in the chandelier? That’s an expensive chandelier.’

>Well, long story short, Ah was busy signin’ invoices when she burst in all loud an’ demandin’ Ah write up a bill that forces Shinin’ to have sex with her.

‘…’

“It was a smart plan!”

>An’ then when Ah predictably said ‘no’ she started whinin’ and fussin’ so Ah broke out mah secret weapon.

‘And this secret weapon is…? Would it happen to be these biscuit tubes all over the place?’

>Bingo. They’re really effective. See, ya jus’ take one like this and-

“NO!”

*pop!*

“AAAAAAAAAH-hissssssss~!”

‘Oh wow, that’s bucking glorious!’

>Ain’t it? Did ya see the way her wings shot up?

‘And how she reared up on all fours spitting and hissing? Hey, let me try one.’

>Be my guest.

“Don’t do that! I said I’m s-”

*pop!*

“AAAAAAH! THAT NOISE IS UNHOLY!”

‘By Starswirl’s mangy beard, this is the best discovery since bread in a can, I swear.’

>Every time she tries to get down Ah pop another, jus’ to keep me grinnin’.

“I HATE YOU BOTH.”

>Today’s been a good day.

‘And it’s about to get better.’

And elsewhere, miles and miles away, a certain Changeling looked up from her mug of hot cocoa and marchmalley’s and shuddered.
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>AJ
"Chrysalis"
-???-
[???]
~~~~

>Wake. Up.

Well, the Queen thought to herself, her eyelids would likely sue for mistreatment if they had the capability. She could barely focus on the orange Princess sitting at the foot of her bed in the otherwise barren hospital room.

"Applejack! How nice of you to stop by! Where'd Shiny go?

>Ah' asked him ta' step out 'fer this one.

"... well, you look... angry."

>Ah' am. Ah' am very, very angry.

"Ah crap, lizard boy get hurt?"

>Nobody you know died.

"Hah!"

>But they fact that they almost did has got me in a bit of a tizzy, ya' see.

"Oh, and why is that-"

Her words were cut off not of her own choosing, but simply by a lack of capability. No words could pass through a throat that is closed, after all. The Queen found herself forcibly and painfully dragged off the bed, and face to face with the narrowed eyes of the princess.

>How. How did you know they were coming?

Shock quickly waning, she just laughed in the former earth ponies face.

"No idea what you could be talking about! Did you get a head injury or somet-"

The floor cracked beneath the force of her being sent into it.

"AH! Is that any way to treat a hero-GLK!"

>Let me be blunt right now ya' friggen bug monster, the only reason, the ONLY reason ya'll ain't dead is because ya' didn't kill anyone. That's it. One soldier, ONE casualty, and ah' would've written ya' off as too dangerous and popped yer' head like a bloated apple.

That poor floor was going to take hours to fix.

>HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

"....Ha...hahahh! AHHAHAHAHAH! D-do you really think you scare me? You are just, just adorable! We both know you're not going to do anything serious!"

Applejack suddenly, impossibly, became even more serious.


>Mah friends nearly died today. They nearly died a bunch o' times in the last few months. An' all because ya' just had ta' hide something. Ah' was already suspectin' ya' when Ah' realized the Empire NEVER got attacked after Shiny got hit, but now... ya' could've saved so much, Chrysalis, but ya' didn't...

"...I saved the Empire."

Those serious eyes turned almost... sad.

>Chrysalis... just be honest with me fer' one thing. Just one time in all yer' life, Ah' want ya' ta' be straight with me. Did you drain the Heart to save the Empire, or did you want the power more?

There was a long, long silence that followed.

"...We both know that. I wanted to make sure my castle and movies were fine, sure. I wanted to protect Shiny and the others, of course! But I wanted the power first. I wanted the power, I was sure I could handle it. I was MEANT to handle it..."

>...Ya' know what?

"What might that be?"

>Ah' ain't blamin' Celestia for this one. It's all me.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourse-"

A golden flash cut her off.

And the sound of her wing falling to the ground was drowned out by her scream.

>How did you know.

"YOU CRAZY BITCH! AAAAHHH! THOSE DON'T GROW BACK!"

>Ah know.

Another flash, and the twin joined it's fallen sister.

"AHHHH! YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

>How did you know!?

The Queen bit down on her tongue to stop the screaming, and it was a long time before she calmed herself enough to speak again.

"...hehe....HAHAHAHAHH!"

>Yer'...

"Y-you know, Mother would have LOVED you! S-she did the same thing to my aunt once, I thought it was so c-cool. Before I answer you, though, mind answering me a little question?"

>...

"...Why now?"

>Ya' broke mah' trust with this one. After all Ah've done 'fer you, after all the shit 'ah put up with from you and yer' little minions, you still held back somethin' Ah' could have possibly used ta' find BlueBlood in MINUTES. Ah' can't forgive that, Chrysalis.

"...No, no I don't think this is the real reason."

>And what is the real reason?

"Because I'm fiiinaly weak enough you can take me. Not Discord, YOU. Oh, you must have felt so powerless! Unable to fight the big, bad mean ol' Queen. Unable to make her do what you want. It must have been so scary."

With as much strength as she could must, Chrysalis stood tall, and proud.

"Well, unlike you, I don't hold back and wait in fear. Unlike you, I don't "suspect" something and then not do anything because I can't pull my torture tactics out. I am a Queen, and you are a mere Princess."

>...

"And you want to talk about trust? Fine. You shouldn't trust me. I will hide so much from you. I can't help it, and I wouldn't want to if I could. It's who I am. But the important thing about trust, Applejack, is that the lack of it can make you see the truth."

>And what might that be?

"That Shiny would have known I was in danger, and stopped this long, long ago."

>...

"Well, since you were so keen on knowing my little tricks, I'll show you one."

>From yer' great aunt whoosits?

"Nope. All me..."

She smirked.

"I can talk in my sleep."

Before the orange princess could stop her, she inhaled and-

"EEEKEEEEKEEEKEEEEK!"

In a flash of light, the world around them collapsed, and the queen felt warm, strong arms pull her back.

-CHRYSALIS! WAKE UP! What's wrong!? Come on, speak to me!-

Through her blurry and dazed vision, his worried face was a welcome sight.

"...Nothing's wrong, just felt like screaming."

He rolled his eyes, annoyed.

-Of course you did.-

~~~~~

Far, far back at Canterlot castle, a pair of eyes snapped open.

[...Damn.]

The lunar princess cursed herself, and wished again that Applejack hadn't turned her down. She really could have used the former Element's assistance.

But, sadly, these methods were not for everyone, and she would have to simply sit back, and wait for another chance.

She would find the answers.

She would protect her kingdom.

That was a promise.
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>AJ
"Rarity"
-Spike-
~~~~~

>...

"..."

>...Well, one o' us is gonna have ta' move.

"Clearly, darling. Hop to it."

>Ah' meant you.

"I know, I decided not even to dignify that with a rebuttal, and tried to save us BOTH the embarrassment."

>Ah' was here first.

"Yes, but I sat here better."

>That don't even make sense!

"Not to you!"

>Well, ah- OH shit, movies startin'!

"Where is Spikey-Wikey?"

>He said he was gonna go get some popcorn.

"Well, clearly you should go look for him!"

>Me? You go look fer' him!

"...I want to see what happens."

>An' ah' don't!? Ah've been waiting fer weeks fer' this to come out!

"I've waited months!"

>...Fine. Let's see who lasts longest.

"A duel of wits, darling."

~~~~Later!~~~~

"OH GOOOOOOD!"

>Y-ya' can't jus' leave her there, Bravestar!

"GO BAAAAHAHAAHAAAACK!"

>WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO SAD!?

"MONSTERS! YOU FILM MAKERS ARE MONSTERS!"

>AH' LOVE YOU RARITY! AH' WANT YOU TA' KNOW THAT!

"I LOVE YOU TOOOO! LETS NEVER FIGHT AGAIN!"

>NEVER!

~~~~Outside the door.~~~

-Guys? Still locked out. Caan't get in. I've got popcorn.... that I mostly ate. Guys? COME ON ALREADY I WANT TO WATCH TOO!-

~~~~~~~~~
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>SA
"Twilight"
'Cadence'
-18-
[42]
{2}
~Chrysalis~
~~~~~~~

>Well, what's the diagnosis?

"Well..."

'...'
-...-
[...]
{...}

"...She's fine, but... and this is a big but... she'll only be fine if she never, ever does something like that again."

~PFFT! WHAT!? WEAK!~

"No, YOU are the weak one here."

~WHY YOU LITTLE!~

"Not like that! You're... okay, have you ever blown up a baloon, and then let all of the air out if it?"

{All the time! It's fun ta' watch 'em fly around, going all PLPLPLPLPLP!}

"Yes, well, have you ever noitced that it's still a little stretched, and it feels weaker? Same problem. And it gets worse. After examining all of you, I can say, without question, that she was at least fifty times more capable of lasting more than a single minute than all of you put together. If any of you three had tried, you'd be a pile of ashes.

-...Shit.-

[I expected as such.]

{Aww! I wanted ta' go super duper too!}

~So, yes, I'm magnificent beyond compare, what's the bigger problem?~

"...I'll be blunt, you should be dead. There was no way you should have survived the burnout. If I were you, I'd find a deity to thank."

~Pfft.~

"Chrysalis, I'm serious. Your body will regard that much power as a danger now, and it will reject it should you try."

~...fine, guess my super-mode is off limits, right?~

>It would have been off limits anyway, you got crazy when that happened.

~Eh, no more crazy than normal. And hey, you brought me back down to sane, right?~

>About as sane as normal.

"She'll be walking around in a day or two with some steady love supply. Two? Lots of kisses."

{YAAAAY!}

~NONONO! I wanted Shiny sex! I DEMAND YOU PRESCRIBE SHINY SEX INSTEAD!~

"I hate to leave, but-"

>It's okay, thanks for coming down. And Twili... sorry I couldn't be there to help.

"Ahhh, I manage! You know I do."

>Still my LSBFF.

"Always, BBBFF."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"???"
~~~~~

>I'm back.

"Did you say what she needed to hear?"

>I... yes. I did. It kind of hurt to lie like that.

"You didn't lie, not completely."

>Well, okay, I told the truth when I said she should NOT be alive right now, her surviving the burnout is just... it defies all logic.

"And what better way to keep her from risking that again?"

>...She's more adapted to it now. She might actually-

"Twilight!"

>...

"That kind of power... it changes a mare, and she's already as far from the word "Saint" as you can get."

>Did it change you?

"Yes... but it changed my sister worse."

>...I'll keep quiet, Celestia.

"After all these years, still my faithful student."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Rarity"
[Spike]
~~~~~

>Spike? Could ya' help me out real quick, I need a second opinion.

[Sure, what's it abou-WHOA!]

>Like Mah' new saddle? Celestia gave it ta' me as present.

[Its... uh...]

"Quite lovely darling, but I do believe Spike is needed over here to look at MY new saddle."

[HOLY GUACAMOLE!]

>Rar... it looks... good.

"Like it? Luna herself gave it to me! So thoughtful."

[Abah-depbooo...]

"Oh my! He likes it."

>He's lookin' at me sug'.

"Through you, darling, the phrase is he's looking THROUGH you, at the saddle with the pizazz... and the little hangy bit so I can carry my purse."

>Okay, that is nice, but he's prolly too focused on THIS!

"Oh! You mended the lasso into the design? That's... that is really clever, actually, wish I had thought of it. I'll have to write that down."

>Oh, hey, ya'll got a secret little compartment fer notes?

"Oh, yes. Cute little feature, isn't it?"

>Yeah, it really is. Would be mighty useful fer' holdin' seeds or what have ya'.

"...Darling, that little ring on the edge, is that-"

>It's a cup holder.

"..."

>...

>"IT'S SO GOOD!"

>C'mon Rar, do a gal a solid and upgrade mine!

"Only on the condition that I can take some design choices from yours!"

>"DEAL!"

"And soon, we shall create the greatest saddle, OF ALL TIME!

>"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

And thus, the two best friends cheerily skipped off.

[...I don't understand mares.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
-Cadence-
~~~~~~~

>...Three... two...

"BOOMSHACKALKA! The big bootied beauty of your dreams RETURNS! And she is back and sexier than ever. Now, if you would be so kind, you want to continue where we left off on the airship?"

>Yeah, about that. Can we keep that under wraps? Please? The rumors are already freaking insane. At this rate I'm never going to convince them I didn't take you on as a concubine.

"...Ew, okay, fine. But only because Chrysalis is no pony's concubine! She is a tall, gorgeous creature who sexes when she sexes, and she LOVES it!"

>Good. Let's just keep it between you and me... and Cadence... and 42... and 18... and Celestia.

"Celestia?"

>She asked me what it was like, and if I could give her a demonstration.

"HAH! Knew she was hot for you!...HAH! Hot... cause she's all firey."

>Wow, the concept that two old friends might just joke about that is completely alien to you, isn't it?

"Glad you see it my way."

>Are you just convinced EVERYONE is obsessed with me?

"What? No. Hell, even I didn't really like you back during the whole wedding shabladoo."

>...Really?

"Yeah! I even sung a song about it... for some reason. Just felt the urge."

>No kidding? How'd it go.

"Ah, jeez, put me on the spot... A-Hem... This day is going to be perfect~ The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small~ Everypony will gather 'round~ Say I look lovely in my gown! What they don't know is that I have fooled them alllllll!"

-This day was going to be perfect~ The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small~-

>...Cadence? What are you-

-But instead of having cake~ With all my friends to celebrate~ My wedding bells, they may not ring for me at allll!-

".. I could care less about the dress~"

>Oh, I see, you guys are playing a trick on me, this is funny.

-We must escape before it's too late~ Find a way to save the day~-

>Wow, great harmony, ten out of ten. Perfectly matching each other.

"Finally the moment has arrived~ For me to be one lucky bride-"

-Oh, the wedding we won't make~ He'll end up marrying a fake~ Shining Armor will be-

"mine, all mine! AAAAHAHAHAH!"

>Bravo, really, bravo.

"..."
-..."

>Uh, girls? You okay-

-"SHE'S A WITCH! GET OUT OF MY HEEEEEEEAD!"-

>...beg your par-

Ignoring him, the two mares bolted through the door, tearing off in opposite directions and screaming at the top of their lungs.

>...M'kay... so... that just happened... I wonder if we have any morphine left?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For the first time in months, Twilight and the rest of the royalty, plus Eighteen, Forty Two, Seventy Seven (HIKE!), and Diamond Tiara stood before a gathered audience, mostly of soldiers to witness Twilight's newest creation.

"The battle we have all faced recently was sudden, tiring, and painful. It tested us all and you have all performed beyond the expectations ever imagined. But having exceeded our expectations and yours, we must continue to train further, beyond what conventional war games would allow. It is with great pride, I present to you: Twilight Sparkle's Sub-Space Alternate Reality Simulator!"

"She means The Danger Room!" Chrysalis shouted and received a glare for Twilight.

"Sub-Space Alternate Reality Simulator!" Twilight stressed and threw back a curtain revealing Spike running while suspended within large chamber while holding Charity

On a large screen, it showed a 'simulated Spike' back in the airship gunning down wave after wave of robots.

Oohs and ahhs were had all around.

"As you can see, these chambers can comfortable allow up to ten large stallions to operate inside in which their minds and senses will be transported into a magically created semi-reality, the body can feel as much pain as the injuries received, which can be adjusted, the reality can operate on alternated rules, the list goes on. Within, unlimited scenarios can be acted out. Any questions?"

Everyone's hands went up.

"That does not relate to using this for sex."

Everyone's hands went down.

Twilight begins smashing her face repeatedly against a podium when she sees the sheepish expression on even her mentor.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Rarity"
'Spike'
[???]
~~~~

>Bowling night? Really?

"Who's idea was this?"

'HAH! STEEEEERIKE! Who's your dragon daddy!? YEAH, YOU LOVE IT!'

>...Oh, right.

"Why do the bowling balls have holes in them?"

>Ya' know, ah' never understood that either.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to give Spike a good view of what he REALLY wants when I walk over..."

>...Somethin' wrong?

"I'm sorry, this is just really bothering me."

>Ya' know what? Me too. Let's go ask someone.

"Yeah, it's probably nothing, though."

>Prolly...

~~~~~LATER~~~~~~

Amidst a burning, destroyed buildings, the two princesses stand together against a most sinister foe!

>We should'a known it was you!

"It's so obvious!"

>Now we've got you, Gustave le Grand!

[WEE WEE! OF COURSE! You foolish ponies were so simple to fool!]

"We see past you now, villain! We know you've been drilling holes in the bowling balls and using it to fill out your pastires!"

[But of course! The cost of chocolate, she is so expensive! And what shall you do now!?]

>...Uh, actually, nothin' Ah' guess?

"Yes, we noticed that YOUR company is the one selling the bowling balls, you're allowed to add the little holes if you want."

>An' the material for the balls is really high in minerals, it's great 'fer a body, and actually healthier than normal chocolate.

"Lot less fat, too."

[...OH! So, uh...]

>Iffin' ya' don't mind me askin', why the fire?

[Oh, I just need to set up a new warehouse, and the demolition rates, they are so high! So I do it myself. It's quite fun.]

>Ya' approved for that?

[But of course! Here is my license.]

"...Hm. Checks out. Well, thank you for answering our questions, Gustave."

[Anytime! In fact, here is a voucher for a free game at ze alley, on me!]

>Awww, he's nice.

"You feel like we're forgetting something?"

~~~~~

'WOOO! PERFECT GAME! DID YOU SEE THAT!? DID YOU... hey, where'd they go?'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
'42'
-18-
~Cadence~
[2]
{Sombra}
~~~~~~

>Come on, get down from there!

"NO! She's a witch and she's going to take over my mind! SHE'S STEALING MY THING! I'LL SUE! INFRAGMENT! INFRAGMEEEENT!"

>InFRINGEment, Chrysalis, and you're using both of those wrong!

'Oh, okay, so the guard dod NOT eat a bad mushroom and you are, in fact trying to swat my Queen off the ceiling with a broom. That's actually happening, and I owe him an apology.'

>The chandelier makes it hard.

"SHE'S A WITCH, 42!"

'Does this have anything to do with your wife's current state?'

>Sadly, yes.

~~~in Cadence's room~~~~~

-Cadence, really, come out from under the bed.-

~NO! SHE'S IN MY BRAAAAIN!~

-Not like she would have trouble fitting. Two, get out of the closet.-

[Nuh! Me and Caddy are hiding!]

-We aren't playing hide and seek, she's just being silly.-

{Delusional is more like it.}

-Be nice.-

{Don't tell me how to live.}

~GO AWAY!~

-Isn't it dirty down there?-

~...EWEWEWEWEWEW! Wait, is that a magazine... of... SHINY! OH, I AM GOING TO-~

*THUMP!*

-...Shit.-

{I'll go get a rope, we'll drag her out.}

-You do that.-

[You still can't find me! BEST HIDER!]

-None better, Two. None better.-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"42
'77'
-DT-
[Twilight]
~~~~~
We join our heroes this evening, racing through Canterlot on their hoverbikes

"42, takes the lead in the Canterlot Grand Prix! Looks like she's gunning it for that finish line!"

-But not when Diamond Tiara cuts her off and takes her rightful place in first!-

>But suddenly! Enter the dragon! Ladies and gentlecolts, Spike makes his incredible comeback by taking a shortcut through the allyways of his old beloved home!

'But his geographic knowledge is no match for the tracking and scouting instincts of 77! Others might have been molded by the art of flight, but 77 was born run!'

The quartet nearly battle fiercely for the designated finish line when they Twilight stops them.

[REALLY? You're all part of the A-Team, and you go and use military equipment for joyriding through Canterlot in dangerous drag races?!]

The group seems mildly shamed, none more than Spike.

Twilight takes advantage of this to kick Spike off his hoverbike and gun the gas.

[TWILIGHT SPARKLE STEALS FIRST AND THE FINISH! WHOOOO!]

-YOU SNEAKY, BITCH!-

"Rerace! Rerace!"

Spike hops with 77 and the other four begin to chase Twilight while she uses her magic to flip off the A-team, laughing the whole time.

[SUUUCKEEEERS!]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________