Limited Run

A story about one off villains who were made for one-shots who know they are only ever going to appear once and go all out because of it.


Hand Magician: "Are you ready, my dear? We only get one shot."
Bunnygirl Henchwoman: "Of course, sir, always."

"HELLO MY LOVELY AUDIENCE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?"
*people at the bank stare blankly at HM and BH*
"FANTASTIC! NOW PREPARE TO BE AMAZED BY MY FIRST TRICK!"
*guard walks up to him* "Alright buddy, that's enough."
"BEHOLD!"
*HM reaches into his coat, guard pulls out his gun immediately*
"Oh god, what the hell?"
*guards fingers have vanished, his gun drops*
"A SLIGHT OF HAND!"
BH: "Excellent play on words, sir!"

*HM walks up to the teller*
"Good day miss, I'll be making a larger withdraw, no don't get up, I can get it myself."
*reaches behind her ear and a flood of money pours into the sack BH is holding*

*Outside the bank, cops everywhere, a super of whoever's choosing with them. HM exits the bank, HM raises his hands*
"FOR MY NEXT TRICK!"
*tied handkerchiefs shoot out of his sleeves and he swings away*
*BH bounces after him*
BH: "What now, sir?"
HM: "Now my dear, we run like crazy to make it to the end of the issue without getting caught!"
BH: "Because we're one-shot wonders, right sir?"

As HM and BH dart away into the next page a yellow blur buzzes past them. Bees Knees appears in mid-air to block their exit, and he's facing them dramatically with his knees up.

BH: "Oh wow, they're actually sending heroes after us!"
HM: "LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE!"
*HM drops to the ground to dodge the high impact bee stingers being shot at him*

Pulling himself from the stinger outline around him, HM reaches into his jacket again
HM: "Tell me, my dear, do you know how bee keepers get the honey without getting stung?"
BH: "Ummm, full body coverage?"
HM: "THAT TOO!"
*HM throws some smoke bombs that explode into smoke, after it clears BK is asleep*
HM: "But I was referring to the smoke they use."
BH: "Oh, that makes sense!"

As HM and BH continue their race to the next page, BH stops and holds out an ear
BH: "Sir, do you hear that?"
HM: "No my dear, what does it sound like?"
BH: "... Swearing?"

In the distance the red rage comes, a man so angry his heart could explode at any moment
Rage Racer: "GODDAMNFUCKINGSHITPISSDRAGMEINTOAONESHOTTHISISBULLSHITFUCKYOUGUYS"

HM: "Quite the mouth on him."
BH: "Indeed siiiiiiiiiirrrrrr!"
BH is blown up and away by the wind force of Rage Racer passing by.
HM shouts up at her "Think light thoughts, my dear!"
BH shouts back down "Like rainbows, sir?!"
"Not quite, but if it helps, then yes!"

HM turns back to his next obstacle
"Now as for you, my next trick is sure to turn that frown upside down!"
Rage Racer is frothing like a mad dog, his face twisting like a contortionist into new and amazing depths of demon-like anger as he full speed charges at HM.
HM: "Light as a feather, almost igniting the air!"
HM reaches down and pulls the road out from under Rage Racer, he doesn't trip, he just hangs there in mid air, angrily still running in place until he begins spinning in place, then rotating in place until he looks like a red ball of swears.

HM: "Thank you, thank you! Now if you'll watch closely, the page will turn!"
HM reaches down to the page corner and gives it a tug.

HM: "Excellent thinking, my dear! With this we'll be sure to reach the end of the issue in no time!"
BH: "Thank you, sir!"
*HM and BH are revealed to be in a rainbow colored hotair balloon.*

It seem it's all smooth sailing from there, UNTIL SUDDENLY a stinger shot from below pierces the balloon sending them down.
Not just down though, there's a fierce wind picking up pulling them in. Race Racer's intense rage from being levitated has caused him to spin with such speed that he's creating suction.
HM: "Hang on to me, my dear!"

HM and BH crash, when they emerge from the balloon canopy they are surrounded on all sides by police, Bees Knees and Rage Racer.
BH: "Sir, we weren't able to make it to the end without being caught..."
HM: "We're not on the last page yet, but it might be time for the grand finale!"

*HM takes off his hat*
HM: "BEHOLD AND BE AMAZED, I SHALL NOW MAKE MY LOVELY ASSISTANT DISAPPEAR!"
BH: "Wait, sir!"

HM places his hat on BH and pulls it down as she disappears into the impossibly small hat. He then flashes the inside of the hat to all the police to see that it is empty as they dogpile onto him.

HM is placed in a straitjacket and forced into the back of a police car. As they drive off with him in custody the cops talk to him. "Heck of a show you put on, where did you send you accomplice?"
HM: "A good magician never reveals his secrets."
"I'm sure you'll be more chatty once you're back at the station."

One of the cops looks in the rear view mirror and sees the straitjacket empty on the seat.
"Son of a-"
They stop the car and look all around, but there's no sign of him.

On the final page we see HM and BH arm-in-arm at some castle
HM: "We made it to the end!"
BH: "Hope you enjoyed the show!"