(Optional prelude-
Where I live the Emoji Movie came out a day early (today), and so I watched it. Not many other people in the crowd, though that's probably due to the fact that I watched a kids movie in English in a non-anglophone country. Couple teenagers in the crowd. Anyway, [it was not as bad as I expected, though of course not a masterpiece.] OR [it was a masterpiece, best movie of all time])
In the beginning we get introduced to some kid, I forgot his name, Andy maybe? Wait wikipedia says it's Alex. Alex then. Alex has a crush on Addie. The narrator says that everything revolves around phones and emojis blah blah blah. Then we zoom in on emoji city and we see Gene preparing for his first day at work, doing meh faces in front of a mirror. He goes out of his home and sees mama donut walking her baby donut holes. He tries to stay meh but the adorableness is overwhelming and he starts doing other faces. The babies cry and mama donut is disgusted and calls him a freak. He continues to walk and meet other emojis and he accidentally (literally) bumps into a couple of emoticons (like :-) and stuff) which are supposed to be the elderly. He then holds a balloon and flies to the center of the city and the emoji world, the cube. Standing outside the cube he does a bunch of non-meh faces and his parents see him and go with him to a private place to talk (a restroom). His parents say he shouldn’t go to work but then he says that everyone his age goes to work and then they see a poop emoji dad going out of a stall with his poop emoji son and the son shouts that it is his first day at work despite being just 10 years old. His mother changes her mind and says that he should go work and he does. Smiley emoji (female), who is the oldest emoji and by that virtue the head of the emojis introduces the new workers to the emoji mechanism. The emojis stand in boxes and then when Alex wants to use one it is scanned and uploaded to his text. His parents, watching say that Gene won’t actually be used. But of course immediately he is used and he does the wrong emoji and then everyone panics and the scanning and box mechanism in destroyed. Smiley Emoji says to Gene he is a malfunction and the next day there will be an executive committee meeting to decide what will be done with him. Then there is a scene with Gene and his parents on the roof of the cube but I forgot what’s in it. The next day Gene goes to the meeting to defend himself and he comes slightly after the end of it, and Smiley and Gene meet alone in the committee room and he is not allowed to defend himself and while inquiring what will be done to him she flosses and holds the floss in a way that while she flosses it looks like there is a noose around Gene. But anyway that is irrelevant to the plot and Gene is innocent and doesn’t understand that he is going to be killed and then Smiley tries to kill him with these robot thingies but he escapes. He then meets High Five who is trying to get back into the popular emoji club and who also saves him by hiding him in the unused emoji club in the basement (and yes the eggplant emoji is there). Gene says he wants to become a normal meh and High Five tells him that they can get to a hacker and the hacker can fix him and will also make High Five popular again. So High Five and Gene leave emoji city and get into the screen/wallpaper/whatever and while there they pass next to some messaging app and also facebook, and gene takes a look into facebook and then he says that Alex has a lot of friends but then High Five explains that they are not actually friends and that friends are not important just becoming famous or something like that. Meanwhile Gene’s parents also leave the city and go search for him in the wallpaper. Gene and High Five go to the dictionary app but it actually has a secret hidden pirate app (during this Gene says “What do children have to hide from their parents?” or something like that). Inside it is kind of like a club, with trolls, viruses, spam emailers, and trojan horses, and also the hacker, which is actually a girl who is called Jailbreak. Jailbreak initially doesn’t want to help them but upon discovering that Gene is multi-emotional does help them. Then the killer robots come and they escape to candy crush where Gene is stuck in the game, so they play the game and manage to rescue him. Alex is annoyed by noises coming out of candy crush despite him not playing so he makes an appointment at a phone shop to delete the phone. High Five has a candy addiction. Jailbreak explains that they need to get to the cloud, where the source code is, and then she will be able to fix them both. To get into the cloud they need to pass the firewall, which requires making a right emotion and saying a right password and she is about to say that that is why she helped them, because Gene can make multiple emotions, but then gene realizes it and say it before Jailbreak says it and then she says that all the time Men copy ideas from Women or something like that. She explains that she knows a shortcut to Dropbox (the cloud) through Just Dance (Apparently there is a Just Dance app http://a3.mzstatic.com/us/r30/Purple118/v4/89/1a/56/891a5685-ab85-edc9-08d1-02d245a9a8a5/screen696x696.jpeg


). So they go to the Just Dance App and Jailbreak tells them not to turn the game on but of course as she finishes talking High Five presses the big red button that turns the game on. Meanwhile Gene’s parents look for him and go into youtube where there is this wall with one large screen, playing Pen Pineapple Apple Pen, and a lot of small screens playing videos (One of them was Good Mythical Morning, I don’t remember the rest, didn’t see jacksfilms). Then the killer bots come and they play a cute cat compilation to distract them. After they exit youtube the parents split ways because Gene’s dad is no longer the man that Gene’s mom knew because he didn’t support Gene. Cut back to Just Dance where they have to dance to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! or they die, High Five is a natural dancer, but Jailbreak can’t dance, so Gene helps her. While dancing, her hacker beanie falls off, and reveals a crown on her head, she is actually a princess emoji that escaped. They then ask her if it is true that when she whistles birds come and she says it is not true (this will be important later on). Then there is freestyle dancing to the tune of Feel This Moment by Pitbull Ft. Christina Aguilera and they do a dance that the in-game dance instructor (Voiced by Aguilera) has never seen before and they call it the Emoji Shuffle or Emoji Dance or idk something that starts with Emoji. The noises from the app disturb Alex during lesson, so he deletes the app. The group barely manages to make it and then one of the killer robots takes High Five to the void with him. They are right next to dropbox, but Gene wants to save High Five, Jailbreak is amazed, and Gene says “What is it worth to be number one if there are no other numbers”. They then take a romantic sail through spotify, the romanticism being cut short due to them reaching the end of the river. They exit and using some rope the got from somewhere rescue High Five from the garbage, saving him from a stalking, demeaning troll (The trolls, by the way, are green fat semi-neckbeards)(Also in the garbage is the crying, sad, slowly macarena dancing dance instructor). The troll tries to get out too by holding High Five, but he falls off. High Five, upon getting out, says that he was also once a troll, and unravels the rope for the trolls to get out, but he accidentally pushes it in while walking. Meanwh- oh shit my taxi to the airport is here, I have a flight, will try to continue it from the airport. Anyway I'll just say the post credits scene is Smiley Face, with braces, playing cards in the unused emoji club, bye. shit copied the wrong thing here is the correct thing: Meanwhile, two things happen- Gene's parents re-meet in the Instagram app (specifically inside Alex's picture from his family's Paris vacation) and Gene's dad reveals that everything that happened is actually his fault, as he is also a multi-emotional emoji, but he suppressed it. Also, with like 4 hours until the deletion appointment Smiley Face decide's to step up the chase and releases some kind of super-bot. The super-bot then attempts to capture/kill Gene while the gang is on the wallpaper but the manage to tie his super long arms together and get into dropbox, the evil superbot tries to enter dropbox but he can't because it's the cloud. Then they literally get into a dropbox, a box that falls, that leads them to the firewall. There, you need to match an emotion with a password to get through it. Each time Jailbreak gives Gene a different possible password and every time it fails and he gets burned. Jailbreak runs out of passwords, then Gene suggests that if he had a password it would be the name of the girl he likes. Jailbreak didn't find the name of any such girl, but then High Five recalls that while in the garbage he saw an unsent email that Alex sent to Addie in which he (High Five) was used. He doesn't remember the name of the girl though, and he suggests a bunch of wrong names, among them "Lupita" (Don't remember the rest). Jailbreak manages to find somehow the email and finds that the girl is named Addie, which is indeed the password. They get through the firewall, and are where the source code is. Jailbreak does some hacker things and manages to reprogram Gene and High Five, but before she executes it, Gene dramatically declares his love for her and that he doesn't want to be just a Meh. He is rejected, and it is so harsh that he becomes a meh without reprogramming. He walks slowly towards High Five, who is standing near the entrance, and suddenly the evil robot thingy somehow takes Gene away. High Five then tells Jailbreak what just happened and asks her what did she say to him. I don't remember what she answers but she does reveal that she can in fact call birds to her by whistling, and so she does . She whistles two times with nothing happening but after the third time a twitter bird comes and takes them away. Cut to the cube where all the emojis are and Gene, now Meh after his rejection, is held by the evil robot thingy. Gene's parents come in and Gene's dad says that if Gene is deleted he has to be deleted to, and reveals his malfunction/multi-expressionism. Smiley Face is like ok and the robot takes Gene's dad too. Then High Five and Jailbreak fall through the roof and onto the robot, and after a short fight High Five hits the big red button on the back of the robot, which turns it off. It falls and crushes Smiley Face. There are only a few minutes to go until the phone is deleted, and they decide that they should send an emoji for Alex to see, I think after they see through the phone camera that his crush Addie is also in the store but I am not sure. It is decided that Gene is to be sent due to his multiple expressions, despite him being stuck in Meh mode. Jailbreak operates the scanner, and she tells Gene to do the best emoji he can think off. As more and more of the phone is becoming deleted, just before everything is gone, Gene does multiple expressions while being scanned, which leads to this super cool 3d emoji (oh wait did I say 3d I meant animated) which is iirc a smile which transitions into a kiss which transitions into a blush. Alex sees it and immediately disconnects the phone from the deletion cable (Can't you delete a phone without going to a store? I'm pretty sure you can.) and sends the super cool emoji to Addie. He then approaches her and asks her out for the school fall ball and of course she accepts, because of course the animated emoji convinced her. Everything in the emoji world goes back to before the almost deletion, and there is a dance party to the tune of the Feel This Moment. Everybody does the Emoji Pump (Actual name of the dance I think) but in the midst of it they have to go back due to Alex wanting to send a text, pretty sure that he sends it at the same time as dancing with Addie in the ball. He picks Gene, who this time does some other animated emoji. Film ends, credits roll, and there is a post credits scene of Smiley Face with braces playing cards in the unused emoji club.