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- In celebration of my presence writing here for one year, I shall take you on a wild ride in the mind of Swift...
- Lights!
- Camera!
- Action!
- >The sun shines into your room, waking you from your slumber.
- >With a stretch, you stand up and go into the bathroom to brush your teeth and take a shower.
- >Once that's done, you go downstairs and make yourself some bacon and eggs.
- >A knock comes from the door before you can eat any though.
- "Who's there?"
- >"Banana."
- "Banana who?"
- >Another knock is heard on the door.
- >Sigh and shake your head.
- >Go to the door to open it.
- >Pinkie stands there with Derpy, both of them wearing detective suits.
- >Pinkie nods, "It's time, Anny."
- >Your eyes widen.
- "O-Of course."
- >You grab your coat on the rack and put it on.
- >They lead you outside and to a carriage.
- >Pinkie climbs in first and Derpy helps you in before entering herself.
- >The carriage starts rolling.
- "So what's the stitch?"
- >Derpy tilts her head.
- >"The what?"
- "N-Nothing, I've always wanted to say that..."
- >Pinkie slams her hoof down on the carriage cushion.
- >"ANON! The princess is in trouble and we need your help to find out who's to blame!"
- "Of course."
- >Bright flashes of light snap all around you as ponies take pictures.
- >The carriage stops rolling in front of Canterlot Castle.
- >You take your date, Princess Twilight, by the hoof and help her out as ponies continue to bombard you with camera flashes.
- >A group of newcomers to the event all sing some stupid song about the Gala.
- >Both you and Twilight shake your heads and walk through the castle doors.
- >Once inside, you put Twilight back in her pokeball.
- >Then you do a somersault forward and hold out your handgun as you scan the area.
- >The high tech gadget on your head identifies all of the exits in the room and picks up on heat signatures.
- >A large body is seen through the doors directly in front of you, and there's absolutely nowhere to hide.
- "Well. I guess..."
- [spoiler]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cROqKs-2dis[/spoiler]
- "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!"
- >You throw an arm into the air.
- "CUSHIONED CHAIR!"
- >In an instant, your body has transformed into a very comfortable looking chair.
- >You watch as the doors open and Princess Luna steps out from the doors.
- >Pipsqueak is on her back and looks exhausted.
- >"That was awesome... You really are da bestest princess."
- >She smiles as he says this, blushing a little bit.
- >When they walk a little bit out of your range, you start sliding over to the door.
- >A loud screech sound attracts Luna's attention.
- >Maybe you should have chosen the form of a fly.
- >Luna shoos away Pipsqueak and walks over to you, eyeing you a bit.
- >"Anonymous?"
- >A loud alert sound screeches out through your body, accompanied with a large red exclamation point above you.
- >You transform back into your regular self and stand in front of her.
- >Pointing out a finger at her, you ask.
- "WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?!"
- >"What business doth thou have with my sister?"
- "I can't disclose that information with you."
- >"Be that the case, then I cannot take you to her."
- >You narrow your eyes.
- >She narrows hers.
- >The cold mountain wind rushes through the open building's doors, making you shiver a tiny bit.
- >Tightening your blackbelt, you bow to Luna.
- >Then step back and pick up a training stick from the dojo floor.
- >She does the same, and you both charge at each other.
- >Blow after blow you both block or dodge.
- >A few minutes of this go by until she jumps back.
- >"You're quite good at this."
- "I know."
- >She quickly jumps forward and charges at you.
- >You turn around and run back toward the other wall.
- >Once reaching the wall, you run up it and do a backflip, landing on moon horse.
- >Her body twitches and sparks.
- >Then her mouth opens and a robotic voice speaks.
- >"What is thy bidding, master?"
- "Take me to Celestia!"
- >Her eyes project a picture of Celestia spreading her legs toward the screen.
- >"Is this 'Celestia' ?"
- "Y-Yeah."
- >"Calculating route to 'Celestia'."
- >She jumps through the roof of the ancient chinese temple and starts to fly.
- "I need you to move faster than this."
- >"Yes sir."
- >Her body zooms ahead at an incredible rate, almost flinging you off in the process.
- >When you manage to sit up once again, you see that you're flying extremely fast toward a mountain.
- "PULL UP! PULL UP!"
- >You grip hard onto her neck as she slams directly into the mountain.
- >"RECALCULATING..."
- >She flies a little bit higher and slams into the mountain again.
- >"RECALCULATING..."
- "Fuck this."
- >You take her ears and turn her to the side, steering her around the mountain.
- >A zeppelin can be seen in front of you.
- >Try to steer away from it.
- >A hook flies out toward you, and you barely dodge it.
- >Taking a second look, you see that the ponies on the zeppelin have eye patches on.
- >All except for one, who gets smacked for not having his.
- >The CMC all sit together in a circle in the Everfree forest.
- >They're stuck there with Cheerliee who is completely terrified, screaming about how they're going to get food to survive.
- >CMC seem to think it's a game and ask their stuffed toy bear what they should do to get food.
- >The bear says nothing because it isn't alive.
- >Cheerilee is screaming at the kids who just sit around doing nothing.
- >Another hook flies out at you, and you squeeze Luna's ears to make her fire a blast of magic at it.
- >It turns into spaghetti and falls down to the thick forest below, covering the fillies in pasta.
- >The pirate ponies throw one last hook.
- >You can't react fast enough and it stabs Luna in the side.
- >She falls limp and they hoist you up to the ship.
- >Bulk Biceps has grown himself a thick black beard and stands at the wheel of the ship.
- >He looks around at all the other pirate ponies and orders them to throw Luna overboard.
- >They dump the dead princess off the side without a second thought.
- >Then he looks at you.
- >"Hang him."
- >They all cheer and grab hold of you.
- "WAIT! HEAR ME OUT!"
- >When they stop, you continue.
- "WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ONE PONY TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO?! WHAT ARE YOU, SLAVES?!"
- >There is small talk around.
- "JOIN ME, AND WE SHALL OVERTHROW BLACKBEARD!"
- >They look to Bulk Biceps.
- >And then to you.
- >Bulk Biceps looks at you.
- >Then back to them.
- >You look at them.
- >Then to Bulk Biceps.
- >...
- "How's it taste, fellas?"
- >All of them cheer as they eat the bulk of Bulk Biceps.
- >You stand on top of the tallest object and look around at them.
- "Now remember, don't let one person be in charge! That's just asking for trouble!"
- >They all respond with "AYE!"
- >You nod and walk over to the side.
- >After adjusting your goggles, you jump off into the cool water.
- >Looking to the side as you swim through the pool, you see that bitch Gilda is gaining on you.
- >A burst of energy comes from your body, propelling you forward to touch the end before any of the others do.
- >A whistle is blown and the crowd cheers.
- >You are lifted out of the water by Iron Will.
- >He blows a whistle for the crowd to stop cheering.
- >He then stands you up next to himself.
- >"LADIES AND GENTLECOLTS! NOT ONLY HAS ANONYMOUS ACHIEVED FIRST PLACE, HE'S ALSO BROKEN THE WORLD RECORD!"
- >The crowd goes wild as Iron Will lifts your arm.
- >He holds the microphone up to you.
- >"DOES OUR CHAMPION HAVE ANYTHING TO SAAAAAY?!"
- "Fuck bitches. Get money."
- >The crowd screams even louder.
- >You push past Iron Will and walk out of the indoor pool building.
- >The city of Manehattan...
- >IS UNDER ATTACK!
- >A giant seven headed purple T-Rex stomps through the city.
- >The monster T-Rex is being bombarded by other forces it seems.
- >A lightning bolt cracks down on it's back.
- >A pony is seen riding the beast with a lasso on one of its heads.
- >Random objects made of purple are dropping on it.
- >Huge magical blasts are hitting it in the chest
- >A pink thing rapidly runs all over its body.
- >A giant yellow pony stands on a building beating the shit out of a head.
- >And a small lizard is on the ground kicking the dinosaur's scaled feet.
- >Despite all of this, it doesn't seem like it's going down.
- >You take off your glasses and start running through the alleyway to change.
- >Except you trip while unbuttoning the shirt and tumble into the dumpster.
- >You spit out a rotten banana peel and fly out of the alley.
- >Flying over to the battlefield, you scream out.
- "Have no fear! Anonymous is here!"
- >Swoop in while the T-Rex is distracted and deliver a blow to the far left head.
- >That head recoils back to hit the next head, and so on until the last head is hit.
- >The monster is dizzied.
- >Taking this opportunity to strike, you fly under it, pushing up on its stomach until you can lift it off the ground.
- >The ponies wearing costumes watch you as you push the seven headed dinosaur up into the sky.
- >Once you make it well above the atmosphere, you give it a final push and start heading back.
- >All of the town looks up at their hero as you descend.
- >To avoid being swarmed by them, you descend in an alley and enter through the back door of a building.
- >When you enter, you are tackled to the ground.
- >Looking over your shoulder, you see Rainbow Dash and AJ both keeping you down.
- "Hey! What's the meaning of this?!"
- >AJ responds, "Where are Canterlot's nuclear missile plans?!"
- "I'm working on it! Now let me go!"
- >You swing your arm and throw her off of you.
- >Turning around, you see Rainbow still pinning your legs.
- >Just when you're about to hit her, you're bucked in the face by AJ.
- >She climbs onto your back and holds your arm behind you.
- >"Ah'm sorry sugarcube, but Ah can't do that."
- >The door you came through opens once again, and Trixie steps through it.
- >"Anonymous, Trixie gave you one job."
- "T-Trixie, I was-"
- >She nods and Rainbow slams a hoof down on your back.
- >You yell out and Trixie continues.
- >"Was it really that hard?"
- "I-"
- >AJ stomps down on your hand and you groan in pain.
- "Girls..."
- >They all look at you.
- "You're making me angry..."
- >Grabbing on to AJ's mane with a hand, you throw her at Rainbow.
- >Both of them crash into the wall, knocked unconscious.
- >You hunch over as a burst of rage overcomes you, and your muscles and body grow at the same time.
- >When you're about three times as tall as you were before and packed with muscle, you stand up and look at Trixie.
- >Just your gaze is enough to send her into submission, causing her to empty her bladder where she stands.
- >Punching the blue piss bucket to the side, you jump up through the roof of the house and land in front of it.
- >Thinking of nothing else than to get away from the murder scene, you take off into the forest ahead of you.
- >Once you have run until you cannot any longer, you stop to catch your breath.
- >As you do so, you look down at the bulging muscles you have, basking in their amazing glor-
- >A single fart causes them to poof away.
- "Aw damn it."
- >"A-Are we lost?"
- >Looking at the shy mare at your side, you smile.
- "I don't think so. Let me take a look though."
- >"O-Okay."
- >You look around at the tree directly in front of you and nod your head, thoroughly studying the area.
- "We're fucking stranded, Coco."
- >"W-What?!"
- "Yup. Probably going to starve if we don't get some food."
- >You look at her and lick your lips.
- >She backs up a little bit, looking uncomfortable.
- "Haha, I'm just kidding. I'd never eat you."
- >"Whew..."
- "Maybe just your leg."
- >"Wait, wha-"
- >A loud crash noise deafens you as a blue police box slams into the ground a few feet away from you.
- >Both of you just stare at it, completely confused.
- >The door opens and out walks Time Turner.
- >"Coco! Anonymous! We have to go right now!"
- "Turner? What's wrong?"
- >"No time to explain! Let's go!"
- >He pulls the both of you inside the Tardis and starts flailing his hooves on buttons, twisty thingys, pulleys, and levers.
- >The Tardis starts moving and Time Turner looks at you.
- >"When I say go, you jump out."
- "Both of us?"
- >"No, just you Anon."
- "What?! Why?!"
- >"Because Coco needs the D."
- >"I-I don't need the-"
- "Shh Coco, men are talking."
- >"B-But-"
- "So you want to fuck her, huh?"
- >"Yes."
- "You going for anal as well?"
- >He eyes her rump and she hides it behind your leg.
- "Good man, good man."
- >Time Turner points toward the door.
- >"Alright, time for you to jump!"
- "Kay."
- >You push open the door and look back.
- >Time Turner straddles Coco and is telling her about how this realm doesn't experience time, so they can fuck forever.
- >Fall forward.
- >You tumble through the air at a high velocity, spinning and flipping uncontrollably.
- >Landing on the bed with a pomf, you look at the two fillies sitting on the bed as well.
- >Diamond Tiara and Snips.
- >They look up to you a lot.
- >Well... Snips does.
- >Diamond, not so much.
- >"Anon, turn this table into spiders. Chop chop!"
- "Ah mon, how did Ah get meself into dis mess?"
- >You point your scythe at the bedside table and zap it with the evils of the undead, turning it into a cluster of spiders which run up onto the bed and start attacking Snips.
- >"ANON! HEELLLPP!"
- >Diamond giggles.
- >You zap them off of him and he's panting.
- >"Anon! You... You saved me!"
- "Dat's because you ordered me too, Snips."
- >He jumps up and wraps his hooves around your body, squeezing too hard and cracking some of your bones.
- "Damn it Snips! That's ta tird time dis week!"
- >He simply smiles like the idiot he is.
- "Fuck this."
- >You stand up and walk over to the door.
- >When opening it, you see Fluttershy there.
- >She jumps into your arms.
- >"G-G-G-GHOST!"
- >Laughter is heard from somewhere.
- "Like Shy, did you just say a g-g-g-ghost?"
- >Suddenly a glowing being with black eyes rounds the corner and starts approaching you.
- >You drop Shy and both of you run in place for a few seconds before actually moving forward.
- >The ghost follows you down a flight of stairs and to a hallway with lots of doors.
- >Both you and Fluttershy run through one.
- >The ghost follows you into the room, cornering you.
- >Damn it.
- >Wasn't something supposed to happen?
- >The ghost slowly approaches.
- >Suddenly a pair of white hooves bucks the ghost to the side.
- >Celestia stands there, her large white posterior jutting out and waiting to be motorboated.
- >Shy's hoof stops you from doing so.
- >Spike and Cadence walk in behind her, and you all approach the wounded ghost.
- >The purple dragon smells the ghost and looks surprised.
- >"Twinkies! I think I know just who it was who did this!"
- >Spike grabs the ghost's mask and pulls it off to reveal...
- >"MAYOR MARE?!" all of you yell out at once.
- >She makes no facial reactions, so Spike grabs her face and pulls it up to reveal...
- >"CRANKY DOODLE?!" you all yell once again.
- >He doesn't respond either.
- "This is getting annoying. Spike, you're a shit."
- >You grab the mask and tear it off along with about seven others under it.
- >"TOM?!"
- >All of you stare at the boulder there.
- "Yeah yeah Tom, whatever you say."
- >The authorities arrive and go to arrest him.
- >They spend about five minutes pressing the handcuffs on different parts of the rock.
- >All of you leave the spooky mansion and head back to the Friendship Machine.
- >Celestia gets in the front to drive and you chill in the back with Fluttershy eating snacks while discussing life while high.
- >After a few minutes go by, you look to the driver's seat.
- "Are we there yet?"
- >Chrysalis looks at you, glaring as hard as she can.
- >"We weren't there when you asked a few seconds ago, SO WE WON'T BE THERE NOW!"
- >The carriage slams to a halt.
- "WE'RE THERE!"
- >You get out of the carriage and see the park with the tall grass.
- >Chrysalis calls out to you, "You better not be thinking of going in there. That's where the killer bunny lives."
- "The what?"
- >"The killer bunny, Angel!"
- >You smirk.
- "Heh. Killer. Bunny. Pick one."
- >"Anonymous, I'm not joking. It's a ferocious creature that has slaughtered thousands."
- "I don't believe you."
- >You run into it and Chrysalis screams, "ANON, NO!"
- [spoiler]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQrmCB4ZGGo[/spoiler]
- >The world flashes black and white and suddenly you see a white rabbit in front of you.
- "Heh. I totally got this. GO, ROVER!"
- >You throw out your pokeball and the diamond dog Rover pops out.
- >He says his name a few times and you pat his head.
- "HIT THAT BUNNY WITH A TACKLE!"
- >Rover runs over to the bunny to tackle it.
- >The bunny lunges at Rover and eats his head with one swoop.
- >His blood splatters over you.
- >You stand there, trembling in fear.
- >The rabbit chews on a piece of his flesh happily.
- >You escape from battle and rush back over to Chrysalis.
- "W-What..."
- >"I tried to warn you."
- "M-My diamond dog..."
- >She wraps a holey leg around your body.
- >"I told you."
- "HE WAS LEVEL ONE HUNDRED!"
- >She shakes her head and walks away from you.
- >You look up and see nothing but a figure in the distance.
- >Using your super speed, you zoom over there.
- >Lightning Dust is there, stretching her legs and wings.
- >She looks at you.
- >"Hey M0nkey."
- "Yo?"
- >"Want to race?"
- "Alright, but I have to warn you that I'm quite..."
- >You smirk.
- "Swift."
- >Discord's face appears in front of the both of you.
- >He wears a black and white striped suit while holding a whistle.
- >"On your marks."
- >You get down on your hands and knees.
- >"Get set."
- >You seduce your competition by holding your fingers up in a V shape and licking between them.
- >She blushes.
- >"GO!"
- >You both take off running.
- >Lightning Dust greatly misjudged your speed, and you're currently zooming ahead of her.
- >Heh.
- >You're leaving Lightning Dust in the dust.
- >Suddenly a streak of teal and orange flies past you.
- >...no.
- >This isn't correct.
- >You cannot be beaten.
- >That can't happen.
- >Nope.
- >Your eyes close for a second and then they open, shining out a radiant blue.
- >A newfound burst of energy courses through your veins and you unleash it to increase your speed tenfold.
- >The amount of energy you are outputting with this burst of speed causes sound to actually seep from your being.
- [spoiler]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU7EHKFNMQg[/spoiler]
- >Lightning Dust covers her ears with her hooves as you speed by.
- "YOU'RE TOO SLOW!"
- "COME ON, STEP IT UP!"
- "GOTTA GO FAST!"
- "IT'S ALL ABOUT SPEED!"
- "M0NKEY'S THE NAME, SPEED'S MY GAME!"
- >You speed way past her and break the sound barrier with your supersonic movement, carrying your sound across the land.
- >Windows everywhere shatter and ears bleed.
- >You stand at the finish line smiling.
- >Lightning Dust barely makes it there.
- >Blood is pouring out of her eyes and ears.
- >"Y-You... Win..."
- >She falls flat on her face.
- "YEAH!"
- >Discord appears to the side of you and lifts your arm up.
- >The seventeen copies of him all cheer for you and hold up signs that say 9/11.
- >You stare at the nine for a few seconds.
- >Miss Harshwhinny rolls her eyes at you.
- >"Anonymous."
- >You shake your head and snap yourself out of your mentally retarded state.
- "Huh-what?"
- >"Did you pay attention to my speech?"
- "What about Princess Peach?"
- >Silver Spoon lightly giggles at you.
- >You turn and give her a smirk.
- >When you turn back around, you see Miss Harshwhinny right in your face.
- >She doesn't look happy.
- >"So, we have a class clown, do we?"
- >You shrug.
- >The others erupt in laughter.
- "I guess so."
- >The retarded skinny kid, Snails, shouts out, "HAHA, HE SAID 'I GUESS SO' !"
- >Everyone laughs.
- [spoiler]>This is the life of Nebulus. <3[/spoiler]
- >You lean in to Harshwhinny.
- "Kill me."
- >She takes your hand in her hoof and leads you outside of the classroom.
- >When you step through the door, you now stand in the marketplace.
- >Someone nudges you on the back.
- >Turn to see that it's a really buff version of Button.
- >He pushes you a little bit.
- >"How about we go a round?"
- "You're on!"
- >He steps back and so do you.
- >A voice screams out fight and you both rush toward each other.
- >Button jumps up and tries to body slam you.
- >You roll backwards, but slide tackle him in the face just after he belly flops the ground.
- >Wait for him to stand up again and then lightly punch him in the chest.
- >He falls over unconscious.
- "Huh. That was easy."
- >You start walking away when a new challenger approaches!
- >Turn back around to see a beautiful caramel colored pony with a brown mane and blue eyes standing there.
- >Your head jumps up, spins around, and comes back down.
- "Wowza!"
- >She comes closer and takes your hand with her hoof.
- >"Inspector Anon, The Claw has taken some ponies hostage! You have to do something!"
- "I'm on the case, Miss!"
- >You throw an arm up to the sky.
- "Go go gadget jetpack!"
- >The flaps on your back unfold and a rocket pack comes out of them.
- >It shoots you into the sky and you steer yourself toward The Claw's lair.
- >The Claw thought it was a smart idea to try and lay low, but you know exactly where she's hiding.
- >You crash through the roof of Carousel Boutique to see a chair in front of a fireplace.
- >The chair slowly spins around and Opal is there petting Rarity.
- >"Meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meeeow..."
- "Quit your playing, Claw! Where are they?!"
- >She stares at you.
- >You stare at her.
- >She licks her paw and brushes it on her ears.
- >You continue to stare.
- >She's playing with Rarity's tail as it flicks.
- "CLAW!"
- >Her attention returns to you.
- >"Reoooowwww."
- >You step back a little bit in shock.
- "N-No... You didn't..."
- >"Meow meow."
- >Opal presses a button and the wall to the right turns around, revealing the dead bodies of dozens of ponies.
- "Y-You really weren't joking then... Were you?"
- >She is licking her crotch.
- >This is terrible.
- >...
- >You promised yourself you would never do this again.
- >But drastic times call for drastic measures.
- >It's time to bring out...
- >The puns.
- "This is... A real CATastrophe."
- >Her ears flatten.
- >"Reeeooooooww!"
- >You lean down to the carcasses and look at Opal.
- "Are you PAWsitive they're dead?"
- >She puts her paws over her ears.
- >"MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!"
- "I'm not KITTEN, I'm being PURRfectly serious right MEOW."
- >"MMRRREEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!"
- >She jumps off the chair and tries to claw at you with the one paw of hers that actually has them.
- >You strap the handcuff on her when she gets close enough.
- "You're coming with me, Claw!"
- >As she meows you read her her rights.
- >Which in Equestria, they don't have.
- >Heh.
- >You throw her in the Anon mobile and pat it on the ass to get it to go to the police station.
- >Deciding to relax, you walk to Sugarcube Corner for a snack.
- >When you step through the doors, you see some commotion happening in the back.
- >Stroll over there to see what's up.
- >Lily, Daisy, and Rose are arguing about which flower is superior while Bon Bon and Lyra try to get them out of Pinkie's kitchen before she returns.
- >Well, Lyra isn't really helping at all by stuffing her face with cupcakes.
- >Bon Bon's eyes spot you and she rolls her eyes.
- >"Thank you, Anon! Can you come help me?"
- "Uh, sure?"
- >You walk over and Bon Bon explains to you the situation.
- >Daisy thinks daisies are the best, Lily thinks lilies are the best, and Rose thinks sunflowers are the best.
- "Whoa whoa whoa, calm down. Why does this matter?"
- >All of them start yelling at you.
- >You put your hands up in defense.
- >Lyra whispers loudly to the rest of you.
- >"Guys!"
- >You look over.
- >"Pinkie is coming!"
- >Pinkie really doesn't like anyone being in her kitchen.
- >Thinking quickly, you call to the ponies.
- "We'll just hide in the freezer room until she's gone, okay?"
- >The girls don't object and all six of you pour into the walk-in freezer.
- >Once inside, Lyra shuts the door and peeks through the glass to see if Pinkie is there.
- >"She's coming. Get down!"
- >You all get down on the ground below the view of the window in the door.
- >After staying like that for a few minutes, you whisper to Lyra.
- "She gone yet?"
- >She stands and looks out the window.
- >"Yeah. She's gone."
- "Alright cool, open the door. It's pretty chilly in here."
- >She grabs hold of the handle.
- >It snaps off.
- >All of you stare at it, unwilling to believe what has just happened.
- >Except for Lily, who screams out, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIEEEEE!"
- >This startles Rose into screaming, and scares Daisy into starting to cry.
- >You shake your head.
- "Let me see that."
- >Walk over to the door and take the handle from Lyra.
- >When you try to put it back into the door, the entire thing shatters as if it were ice.
- "Shit..."
- >Lily and Rose continue screaming.
- >Bon Bon is calmly sitting down with Daisy, trying to get her to stop crying.
- >You look at Lyra.
- >"So..."
- "So..."
- >"Are we going to die?"
- "Probably."
- >...
- >It's been three hours in this place.
- >The room not only is cold, but it's also soundproof.
- >All of you are laid down, looking up at the ceiling, and talking.
- >Daisy snivels.
- >Bon Bon speaks, "So Anon."
- "Yo."
- >"Always wanted to ask, and this seems like the best time."
- "Go on."
- >"How much are you packing down there?"
- "I dunno, like six and a half inches."
- >Lily giggles.
- "Fuck you."
- >"It wasn't that, I just thought of something funny."
- "Yeah sure. Bitch."
- >Rose clears her throat.
- >"So have any of you ever taken it up the ass?"
- >Lyra chuckles a little bit before speaking.
- >"Well... Bon Bon, you wanna explain that one?"
- >"I swear I just missed, it wasn't on purpose."
- >"But you totally kept it there for like five seconds."
- >"Well how was I supposed to know if you liked it or not?"
- >"Oh I dunno, maybe when I pushed on you to take it out? Did that not register in your mind as something I didn't like?"
- >Bon Bon groans.
- >"Whatever. You could have liked it."
- >"But I didn't."
- >It is silent for a few seconds.
- "Have any of you ever been with a stallion?"
- >"No."
- >"Nah."
- >"Nope."
- >"Uh-uh."
- >"Gross."
- "Okay. So my cock is safe here?"
- >Lily pokes you in the side.
- >"Yeah, your tiny dick is safe."
- "I'll eat you."
- >A bit of the frost from the ceiling of the freezer trickles down and touches on your nose.
- >You shoot awake at the feeling of something cold and wet on your nose.
- >Fluttershy opens her eyes as she boops her wet nose with your own.
- >She jumps back.
- >"I-I'm sorry, you t-told me to, so I did, and, um, oh, please don't be mad..."
- "Christ Flutters. Chill the fuck out with the pauses. Readers don't like to see that many commas."
- >"W-What?"
- "Where am I?"
- >"You're at home Anon."
- "What happened to me?"
- >"W-Well, you told me you like to do drugs... So I got us some drugs. Remember?"
- >You shake your head.
- >"I thought that if you did some drugs, then we could have sex."
- "So you wanted to date rape me?"
- >"W-WHAT?! N-No, I just wanted to make you happy so that we could be happy together!"
- "That sounds a lot like date rape."
- >She cowers.
- "Well whatever. What was it that you gave me?"
- >"I-I don't know, but the nice pony in the alley gave me it for seven bits. He was so kind."
- "...you gave me drugs you didn't even have knowledge of?"
- >She blinks a few times.
- >Then slowly nods.
- >You pick her up by the ears and walk over to the door.
- >Open it.
- >Place her down.
- >Close it.
- >Jesus Christ.
- >You could have fucking died.
- >All because of,
- >Fucking Fluttershy.
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