corgi and mal

MAL PROBLEM:
1) When you are ungrateful, ignore, or are downright disdainful of what I do for you as a friend more than you acknowledge me, it makes me feel like I’m undervalued. I would rather you acknowledge me more when I do things for you.

SOLUTION: Corgi will express gratitude for Mal and what she does, more than once a month, and possibly when she does nice things for him.


CORGI PROBLEM:
Corgi feels like Mal doesn't give a shit about him, because she goes on about being emotionally detached.


SOLUTION: Next time Mal says something that makes it seem like she doesn't give a shit about corgi, corgi will tell her what she said and how she said it, and that it made corgi feel that way. And then remember that she does give a shit.

MAL PROBLEM:
2) When you ignore my problems or assume I’m fine, it makes me feel like you only care about yourself. I would rather you actually ask me how I am.

SOLUTION: Corgi will ask how Mal is in an emotionally supportive way. "How are you feeling today?" or some shit.

CORGI PROBLEM:
 A lot of the time when I bring something up or disagree with you, it turns into an arguement. It makes me feel like you think I'm attacking you or something. I'm not saying to not disagree but I'd prefer if you were less aggressive about it.

SOLUTION: Mal will try to tone down the aggressiveness when she disagrees with Corgi. If Corgi feels like Mal is being too angry over something, he will point it out. This way Mal is expressing her true self, and Corgi knows what Mal's emotional state really is.

MAL PROBLEM:3) When you don’t appreciate the effort I put into solving issues we have, it makes me feel angry. I would rather you respond in a more adult manner.

SOLUTION: Corgi will do the clearer expectations, fewer waffle words, less attitude. Mal will tell Corgi when he is not doing the things.

CORGI PROBLEM: When Mal [shuts me down for trying to do activities with her, or activities she does] it makes me feel [punished for trying to be included in her life]

SOLUTION: Corgi will hound (hah) Mal less, and Mal will brush Corgi off less by being more involved in the conversations they do have. Corgi will try to talk to more people than just Mal, and give her space. Mal will try to make the conversations less egocentric.

MAL PROBLEM:  5) When you talk about me to my tulpas behind my back, even when they tell you to talk to me, it makes me feel like you don’t want to talk to me and are actively avoiding working things out. I would rather you come to me with your concerns and remain engaged in the process of working through things.

SOLUTION: Corgi will talk to mal about his problems with Mal directly, and if he needs to vent, will vent to his other friends outside of mal's system

CORGI PROBLEM: When Mal talks about herself, keeps me from changing the topic that isn't her, and then makes it my fault for not being as good at talking at her, I feel undervalued and unimportant. I would rather she ask me about things I've been doing, and not just respond with disinterested "huh" or "kek" or "I'm gonna go watch TV now" when I try to talk about things.

SOLUTION: Mal will ask about his life once in a while, and not try to dominate the conversation.


MAL PROBLEM: 6) When you treat new tulpas, friends, hobbies, and ideas of mine with suspicion, and you are generally negative towards me (especially when you know you don’t have all the information and then just assume things), it makes me feel like you’re holding me back, trapping me, and want me to remain miserable and depressed. I would rather you make an effort to be encouraging towards new things I do and try, and be more positive towards me.

SOLUTION: Corgi will try to be more positive.

CORGI PROBLEM: When Mal makes a false-dichotomy between two choices (such as enigma wrapped in a shadow shrouded in mystery or having things planly spelled out like I'm a 5 year old) it makes me feel frustrated to have to choose between two undesirable extremes when there's loads of middle ground that would be mutually beneficial. I'd prefer if Mal would be willing to find middle ground instead of acting like I asked her for a different extreme that I never asked for and didn't want.

SOLUTION: Mal will be more willing to look at other option than the binary.

MAL PROBLEM: 7) When you whine to me (like when you ask me to log onto voip every. Single. Day.) or just don’t ask at all and make me mindread it makes me feel pissed as fuck. I would rather you ask me politely instead of nagging me.

SOLUTION: Corgi will ask instead of pester, and ask less often. simple rephrasing.

CORGI PROBLEM: When Mal says she'll do a thing 3 or 4 times and then doesn't, but then jumps on me for not following advice that I found vague the very first time, it makes me feel like my advice is irrelevant to her and that she's judging my efforts on a hypocritical standard. I would rather her make a greater effort to follow advice that I give (or just tell me that she isnt going to, that's just as valid) and/or cut me some slack when I don't do something right the first time.

SOLUTION: If he offers you advice and you say you are going to do it, then you should do it. If you aren't going to take his advice, then say you aren't. If he's taking your advice and it's taking time for him to do so, cut him some slack. If Corgi is going to try to take Mal's advice and is taking a while and Mal gets on his case, Corgi will politely remind her to cut him some slack and that he will do it at the pace that works for him.

MAL PROBLEM: 4) When you don’t appreciate my tulpas and use them for your own entertainment or to take your issues on me out on them at your leisure. It makes me feel pissed. I would rather you treat us all like human beings and not drag them into what we’re doing.

SOLUTION: Corgi will not take out shit on the tulpas and try to treat them as separate people. Mal (or the tulpas) will remind Corgi not to do this if it happens in the future.

CORGI PROBLEM: when Mal says that her contradicting herself is just pieces to a puzzle that I'm supposed to put together for a bigger picture, but that me "contradicting" myself for the same reason is me "not having my story straight" it makes me feel like she isn't paying attention, or that she's judging us on a different standard again. I'd prefer if she judged us on the same standard.

SOLUTION: If either party feels that the other does not have their story strait or is being contradictory somehow, they will ask questions instead of accusing people of things.

MAL PROBLEM: 9) When you copy and use my tulpas and what I do without fully understanding the issue, it makes me feel frustrated. I would rather you ask before ripping shit off from me. Corgi makes tulpas similar to, inspired by, or copies of the tulpas Mal has.

SOLUTION: Corgi stopped doing this, and won't do it in the future.

CORGI PROBLEM: Mal is very literal and rules lawyers. It's frustrating.

SOLUTION: corgi needs to communicate clearly and this means that mal shouldn't automatically assume that her first impression is the correct one. Mal will ask questions if there are communication issues.

MAL PROBLEM: 1) When you resent me for not giving you things that you have no right to ask from me (tulpa learning, school help, time, etc), it makes me feel like I’m some sort of lapdog for you. I would rather you give me my space and respect my decision to tell you no.

SOLUTION: From now on Corgi will stop asking Mal for advice on how to tulpa, and will use other sources for mentoring. If Mal makes a choice that would directly affect Corgi, she should try to tell him directly and plainly.


CORGI:  I respect Mal's knowledge in tulpas, and the fact that she's still willing to come back and work stuff out after all that's gone down. I guess I enjoy those two aspects too? This is hard to put into words. I just want the relationship to go back to the way it was about a year ago.

MAL: I respect corgi’s overcoming his blocks to be here, and his willingness to obey the contract. I like corgi’s wit and humor. I want us to be friends like we were when we first met.