Ponies Aroused by Anon's Physique (Shorts) and Master List

Ponies Aroused by Anon's Physique thread

>Came Back PLEASE Edition


ITT: Anon's human body is a huge turn-on for ponies. Why? The reasons vary. Sometimes there isn't one. Either way, shenanigans ensue.

Prev:>>30309576

Resident Writefags:

Diskotek: http://pastebin.com/ur4SSynm (Dead)
MM:http://pastebin.com/u/thegeman (Dead just check desu)
RiggyRag: http://pastebin.com/u/RiggyRag (Alive)
Diatomic-ge's: http://pastebin.com/JKF7sPjc (Dead)
Ladesko: http://pastebin.com/u/ladesko (Dead)
IguessI'llstoplurkingandtrywritingsomegreen: http://pastebin.com/u/IGISLAWSG (Dead)
Doinpexter's: http://pastebin.com/u/DOINPEXTER (Dead)
butts: No known pastebin
Rojo: http://pastebin.com/sD6rU4JE (Dead)
Eppy: http://pastebin.com/u/Eppy (Dead)
The Oni: http://pastebin.com/u/The_Oni (Dead)
Sleepy Bastrd: http://pastebin.com/HSwQumvK (?)
CAMP_OMEGA_CAMPER: http://pastebin.com/0Ds5cXJM (?)

>Update

CaptainAnonymous: https://pastebin.com/AxzjsANK
Lap :https://pastebin.com/dceXJBTF - https://pastebin.com/kRYQdCWT
ForestGuardian: https://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX
RiggyRag https://pastebin.com/KBFRba6E - https://pastebin.com/1QHGC9Zn - https://pastebin.com/hhvpxWTT
Speaker-to-Birds: https://pastebin.com/PWbfC84g


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Rarity scratched her chin, deep in through, before finally coming to a decision.
>"The great griffin poet, Gillaume De La Tour." she said at last.
>Dash scoffed. "He's been dead for like, two hundred years."
>"You didn't specify that they had to be alive. He has such a magnificent beard in all those beautiful paintings." Rarity paused to sip at her tea. "Also, I hear that griffins have barbed penises and I think that would feel great going in the back door."
>Twilight set down her own teacup with a mildly disgusted sound.
>Rainbow Dash nodded. "I can see that. You're up next, AJ."
>"I don't wanna play this game, it's stupid."
>"Come on, everybody else is. It's fun!"
>"It is pretty fun, Applejack," Pinkie added.
>With a disgruntled groan, Orange Farmhorse relented. Her hoof tapped errantly on the side of the mug in front of her, the last dregs of cider inside sloshing about irritably. "Okay, fine. I guess... Anon. That's who I'd do."
>Dash recoiled. "Eew, gross! Really?"
>"What do you mean, 'gross?' Rarity says she'd let a catbird ride her down the dirt road and you don't bat an eye, but I say I want to have a go at a shaved sasquatch and it's 'gross?'" Applejack snorted, and tossed back her last few drops of cider. "I told you I don't wanna play this stupid game."
>"Fine, then explain what's so good about him."
>Applejack rolled her eyes. "He's sweet and a hard worker. You don't really notice on account of him wearin' that big dumb suit all the time, but he's got some pretty serious muscles."
>Fluttershy nodded slowly. "He smells nice when he sweats."
>"He's great with kids." Applejack continued.
>"I'd totally invite Anon to my bone zone. He's got tons of stamina," Pinkie interjected through a mouthful of eclair. "We run like, ten miles every morning and he never gets tired. Imagine him applying that in the bedroom!"
>"His body is super hot, Rainbow." Fluttershy poured herself another cup of tea. "Honestly, I'm a little surprised with you. He's very athletic, one would think that to be right up your alley."
>Twilight stirred a dollop of honey into her beverage, barely even looking up from her book. "Also he's got a pretty big dick."
>Rainbow Dash threw her hooves up in exasperation. "Why do you know what his dick looks like?!"
>"I helped Nurse Redheart with his medical examinations when he first showed up in Equestria."
>Rarity cocked an eyebrow. "How big are we talking?"
>"McIntosh. Maybe not quite as long, but the girth is there and the human body is designed to hilt so it evens out."
>"Nice."
>"Anon is a gross hairless ape!" Dash slammed her hooves down on the tabletop. "I mean, I can kinda see this coming from Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy has to say nice things about him because she's the Element of Kindness, but-"
>"Oh, no." Fluttershy shook her head. "This entirely unrelated. If given half the chance I would ride Anonymous so hard that his dick breaks off in my ass, and then I would spend thousands of bits having it reattached and lovingly nursed back to health so that I can break it off in my ass a second time."
>"Twilight, please back me up here. You wouldn't really screw anon, would you?"
>"Well to be honest, he's not exactly my type." Twilight closed her book and took another sip of tea. "We certainly don't share any romantic chemistry. That being said, if he crawled into my bed drunk and ready to go I certainly wouldn't kick him out."
>Rainbow crossed her forelegs and leaned back in her seat. "Whatever. I don't wanna play this game any more. It's stupid."
>Rarity lifted her teacup to her lips, breathing out softly though her nose. "...I also would sleep with him."
>"Guys, I'm sitting right here." said Anon.
>"I'm sorry, Anon. We kinda forgot you were here for a moment." said Twilight.
>Taking a steadying sip of your admittedly very good tea, you reply "It's fine. But I do have a question. Is this normally what you all talk about during your get togethers?"
>The girls look at each other for a moment before replying. "We do, just not very often, dear." says Rarity. "While it may seem somewhat uncouth, we've known each other for quite some time. That, and we've saved each others lives so many times that it just stopped being an issue with us."
>"That's right, Anon! When you're besties like us, there's no limits!" Pipes up Pinkie as she reaches for ANOTHER eclair. It's like her seventh one. How does she not have diabeetus, you'll never know.
>"Fair enough. We're all adults here. Though when you invited me over for this little get together, I didn't expect the conversation to enter such intimate territory." You end that sentence with another sip of your tea. "This tea is really good, btw."
>"Thank you." Twilight says reopening her book.
>"Well who is your type Anon?" Pinkie ask.
"Hmm, well I wouldn't pass up many, but if I had to choose... Luna."
>"Really, why Luna?" Fluttershy ask. "I always thought you'd be more into, I don't know... Lyra, Velvet, Spitfire, or somepony like that."
>Twilight's eyes dart up but she doesn't say anything.
"Yeah, they're pretty nice. But Luna is just sexy. Plus she has a bit of a darkside so I wouldn't put it past her to be rough. Although Velvet is pretty hot too."
>Twilight looks at you her mouth a gasp.
>"Hold on a minute, are you talking about my mom!?"
>You shrug and nod your head drinking some more tea.
>"She's married! To my dad!" Twilight says wings proofing out.
"Hey, hey, calm down."
>You say putting your hands infront of you.
"I'm just saying IF your mom wasn't married, and she came up to me ready to go. I'd give you another sibling."
>Twilight just glares at you.
>"Hey look on the bright side Twilight dear, if he ever did fool around with Velvet I'm sure she wouldn't mind you inspecting your brother/sister." Rarity says as Twilight turns her glare to her.
>"Alright, I'll bite. Why would you want to fuck my mom?" Twilight says placing her book down.
"She's hot, got a nice flank, she's a nice pony, she's experienced, she's a hell of a house wife, she-"
>"Alright I get it! Enough! Rainbow, who's your type?" Twilight says trying divert the subject.
"Your mom's a milf."
>"Shut up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Story by Ember

>You are Anon
>It has been 8 months since you arrived in the world of technicolor horses
>You had managed to befriend most of the town that you lived in
>You had gotten a job as an apprentice to a well known fashion designer who was also happened your best friend
>"Anon! Can you be a dear and grab some velvet from the storeroom?" The white unicorn called to you from her workstation
>You grunt and open the massive walk-in closet beside you.
>To be honest it looked more like a Lockbox room in a bank if it was fancier and smelled vaguely of cinnamon
>She was serious about her fabrics
>You walk over to the box labeled '32-A' and pull out a square foot of rolled fabric.
>"Here you go Rarity," you say, setting it down on the table next her.
>"Thanks dear" She says, lifting it into her magical grip
>It amazed you how efficiently she used her magic.
>You had been working for a good 6 months and you still couldn't hit par with her
>This fashionista was on another level

>The day dragged on and your eyes began to droop
>You check the clock on the wall every so often, counting the minutes left
>10 minutes
>5 minutes
>2 minutes
>30 seconds
>"Whew! Another productive day" You say, wiping nonexistent sweat off of your brow
>Rarity smiles at you
>"Anon, you're doing good work. I just thought I'd tell you"
>You smile back at her. It was fairly rare to get a genuine compliment from Rarity.
>But when she gave one, she meant it.
>You said your goodbyes and stepped out of the boutique in the direction of your newly furnished home
>Applejack, the local farm pony had owed you a favor ever since you helped her in the harvest not too long ago
>You managed to convince her to help you build yourself a house since you felt bad for mooching off of your marshmallow friend
>It wasn't anything special. Three room house with a nice kitchen and a whole room filled with instruments and a home gym

>Courtesy of a certain mint colored friend of yours
>You've been living there for about 2 weeks now and it's slowly starting to feel like home.
>When you arrived here, you were an average, lanky dude. Slightly underweight with absolutely no muscle tone
>After being made fun of for a straight month by Applejack and Rainbow Dash, you finally decided to start working out.
>6 Months later, here you are, no longer a flat chested stickman
>You still wear long sleeved button downs and long pants because of insecurity, but it's about time to get some professionally made by Rarity
>She was your friend, but you still really weren't too confident in your body and didn't want to be made fun of again
>Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do
>Tomorrow you would get Rarity to make you new clothes
>To be honest, you could probably make them yourself but obviously you weren't a master tailor
>Might as well right?
>That's tomorrow's task though.
>Right now it's the start of your workout
>Endurance building day

>You run inside to change into your workout shirt which had slowly gotten tighter
>You step into your backyard, which was luckily pretty large. You lucked out and bought a really good piece of land
>You start with sprints, pushing yourself to the absolute limit
>After your lungs burn with hellfire, and you double over breathing, you decide to use your shirt as a sweat towel
>You hastily rip off your shirt and let the sly breeze cool you down
>Alright, time for your absolute least favorite exercize.
>Suicides until failure.
>"Oh... Celestia help me..."

>Be Anon
>You are dying on the inside and out
>Every strain of your body burns and nothing feels real
>Your veins pop, your heart forcing blood through your body
>"God damn I hate suicides" You choke out, stifling a cough
>You lie on your back, letting the incredibly soft grass cushion you
>"Heya Anon! Whatcha- Woah!"
>You recogized that raspy voice
>"Rainbow Dash?" You ask, tilting your head up to see her upside down figure standing in front of you
>"Hot damn anon! You've been hiding THAT body all this time?"
>She whistles, leaning in closely inspecting your glistening body
>She reaches to touch you with a hoof, but you slap it away
>"Away vile beast! Let me rest."
>"Okay, okay geez." she pouts. She doesn't move back though like she's trying her hardest to stand her ground.
>Her staring makes you a little uncomfortable.
>She could be judging you, silently figuring out a way to make fun of you.

>Be Rainbow Dash
>Oh my gosh he's so hot. How in the heck did this happen?
>A few months ago he was like a twig, but... wow
>You had to really hold back the urge to just pounce on him
>His chest looked so amazing, you just wanted to jump over and rest your head on it
>Oh the naps you could have next to Anon now.
>You must've been in the middle of the thousand yard stare because it took a few calls of your name to snap out of your daze
>"Oi Dash!" Anon called
>You shake your head and notice a bit of moisture on your lips
>You were drooling!
>This could be a problem

>Be Anon
>Dash is acting weird. Weirder than normal that is
>Most of the time she's a narcissistic prick to me, so I've never been too fond of her company
>Is she drooling?
Oi dash!
>You repeat yourself over and over, waving your arms in her face trying to get her attention
>There we go, she snapped out of it.
"Uh, sorry Anon, I gotta... I gotta blow this popsicle stand"
"Uh? Okay?"
>You sense something strange but think nothing of it. After all you're living in a world of ponies
>"CatchalaterBYE" Dash says, soaring into the skies, but as soon as she took off, her wings locked and she fell face first into the ground
"Oh crap, are you alright Dash?"
>You get up onto your feet and attempt to approach, but she waves a hoof at you
>"I'm totally fine! I promise! I'm just gonna walk because..."
>You wait for her to finish her sentence, but it felt like she didn't know how.
>"Because I bucking feel like it. that's why!" She spits, running away from your house, wings at full extension
"The heck was that all about?

The next day

>You've been at work for a few hours now, but haven't had the chance to ask Rarity to make you a new set of clothes
>Your break had just started, and Rarity had offered you some tea, which you accepted half-heartedly
>"Anon dear, is there something on your mind?" She asked, sitting down across from you on the couch
>How could she tell?
"Uh, yeah actually. I was wondering if you could make me some new clothes. My current ones are starting to get a little tight.
>"Gaining a little weight are we now?" she joked, sipping on her tea
"I guess you could say that..."
>You must've looked a little flushed because Rarity decided to initiate some damage control
>"But of course, even the best of us happen to gain weight sometimes. I'd be happy to make you some new clothes!"
>Too late Rares, you already called me fat
>"I have a little free time now, so if you'd like, we can take your measurements now and I'll have your new clothes done somtime this week."
>You finish the last bit of your tea and put it down on the table in front of you.
"Uh, yeah. I guess that sounds fine."
>"Well, come on back then. Let's get you all measured up!"

>You hop on top of the small platform and watch Rarity pull out her favorite roll of measuring tape.
>She approaches you, but stops before measuring.
>"Um, Anonymous. You're supposed to take off your current clothes so I can measure you correctly"
>You wince a little bit, but sigh.
>You knew this was coming, and now you have to deal with your stupid awkward body.
>You begin to unbutton your shirt while Rarity pulls out a notepad to write her notes down on.
>Pulling off your white button down and your pants you toss them aside.
>No way in hell were you gonna take off your boxers, but you knew the undershirt had to come off.
>W-w-what?"
>You turn to see your best friend blubbering at the sight of you.
>You knew this would happen. Now here's to that tiny chance that she doesn't make fun of you.
"I know, I know just make fun of me and move on..."
>"Make fun of you?? My goodness! Look at that body!" Rarity's jaw stayed wide open
"I know, I'm working on it. I've been working out every day that I can to trey to fix it."
>"I... I can see that!" She replies after eyeing you down like an oasis in a desert.
>"Why... Anon, darling. You're absolutely the most handsome thing I've seen all year!"
>Excuse me what?


That's it for tonight guys. I'll continue tomorrow. I hope my first story is up to par. I know it's rough but I'm working on it.

Goodnight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Be Anon.
>Be fit.
>You weren't always fit though. You used to be a scrawny little beta.
>What started out as an attempt to get girls soon turned into an obsession, and after a couple years you were starting to get the aesthetics you desired.
>That was some time ago and now you're living in a alternate dimension or something. Instead of humans, there's talking ponies.
>It's not like you still lifted for girls but it was kinda disappointing.
>Ponies don't really care much for fitness. About 50% of their diet seems to be junk food and they never seem to get out of shape.
>It must be something to do with horse metabolism or something.
>There's no gym around you that really works for creatures your size, so you've been forced to improvise.
>Two buckets filled with concrete and a long pipe connecting them was the best you could think of, and while primitive, it did help you keep what gains you already had.
>Recently you've been trying to find a good replacement for it. You need something heavier, or something with adjustable weight.
>You were currently sitting outside your house where you normally lifted. The near perpetual sunny weather makes it great.
>Ponies would occasionally stop and watch what you were doing but most didn't understand it. They would sit there watching you put it on your shoulders and just squat up and down and assume there was something wrong with you.
>Today was shoulders, and once again a pony that was passing by saw you was watching in confusion.
>"Um, sir. Can I help you with that?" Said the unfamiliar pony.
>It was a white pony with a purple mane. She had little bags hanging over either side of her back and her butt mark was of some blue diamonds.
"What?" You say, putting the bar down.
>"Well dear, you seem to be having some... trouble holding your buckets up."
>Ohp
"No, I'm just trying to lift it up, I have to let it down so I can lift it again."
>It was always weird explaining lifts to ponies.
>"Oh. But why?"
"It's just exercise."
>"Well if you want to exercise you should try (pony equivalent to yoga)."
>Internal disgust.
"No, this is a different type of exercise. This is for building muscle."
>"But why would you need to build muscles, you already have plenty."
"Yeah but if I don't do this then they'll go away."
>"That's just silly, dear."
"Well ok then, I have to get back to it."
>Annoying little horse. Too bad they don't get things like this, you'd kill for a gym buddy.
>As you continue with the second rep she continues to sit and watch you. Just watching you, with a sort of judgmental look on her face, as though she thinks you're doing it wrong.
"Can I help you?" You ask annoyed.
>"I'm sorry but I just can't wrap my head around this. Lifting heavy things counts as exercise?" She says as she trots up to you and sits in front of your bar.
"Yes. It makes a person stronger and can make your muscles grow."
>"But why would someone want bigger muscles of all things? Most ponies exercise to lose a little weight."
"Well I'm trying to gain weight. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to get this done before noon."
>Picking up your bar again you prepare to start pressing as she watches.
>"So if this makes you stronger, then how strong are you?"
>Your nostrils flare in frustration for a moment.
"Right now I'm strong enough to lift this bar up, I used to be stronger but I haven't had any heavier weights so this is the best I can do."
>"So if you had more weight do you think you could lift it?"
"I don't know. Probably."
>"Well you've piqued my interest. Let's find something heavier for you then. Let's see... ah hah, lift that." She says pointing to one of the many big boulders around the outskirts of this town.
"You don't seem to get it. I can't lift giant rocks. You can only increase the weight by so much at a time."
>"Well see, lifting that thing hasn't done you much good has it?" She says smugly.
"Alright if you're going to stay here all morning and watch me do this at least be quiet so I can concentrate."
>She looks offended at that, letting out an angry "hmph" as you pick up the weight and try to ignore her.
>As you begin this set she still sits and watches you, just stating at you, almost in deep thought.
>As soon as you put the bar down she starts again.
>"I've got it. If it's just a little weight you need let me hold on to it while you lift it."
>You're no expert but you doubt she counts as 'a little weight'. You'd guess she weighs about 30 to 40 lbs at least, and although you used to ohp a lot more than that it would still be a big increase.
"I don't think that would work."
>"Trust me dear, just lift it up while I hold on to it here." She says while putting her front legs over it, holding it under her armpits... or leg pits, whatever.
"I don't know, you could get hurt if I drop the bar or something." You say to her as she starts up at you from her place on the bar.
>"Nonsense. Now either lift it or admit that this whole thing is waisted effort."
>This is the first time a pony has actually been confrontational about your lifting.
>However this is the first time one has offered to help in any way, so you'll take it.
"Alright then. I don't want to get sued when this goes wrong." You say as you pull of your shirt. She seems a little surprised by that.
>You lift up the bar as best you can. It's noticeably heavier, hard to lift even.
>Getting bar up to your chest brings you face to face with the pony, surprised by how close you two now are. You'll never get over how big their eyes are.
>She seems almost as flustered as you but then you realise the awkward situation just holding her there is making.
>You push the bar up over your head with as much as force as you can muster, causing her to eep in surprise.
"One."
>Letting the bar return to your starting position you see she now has an excited expression on her face, but not giving her anytime to start talking again you lift it back up.
>Your view consists of her face, then her belly and then her face again.
>She seems shocked that you were able to do it at first, but now that you're a few reps in she seems to be staring at your body.
>Your delts feel like they're on fire, and you're working up a sweat.
>You're starting to slow down now that you have only a few more reps left. Holding her at eye level, you try to catch your breath.
>"Getting tired?" She asks, this time with concern and not just mocking you.
"A little." You say as you begin to push her up, a lot slower this time.
>The veins in your shoulders are swelling, the sweat glistening on your brow as you bring her down. You know you only have one good push before you're done.
>This is the feeling you've missed for so long. Pushing yourself to your very limits. It's a good feeling.
>Preparing yourself for that last burst of energy you notice the pony in front of you do something strange.
>She very noticeably inhales, closing her eyes and letting out a ragged, soft moan as she exhales.
>Did she just smell you?
>You stand there confused about what has just happened. It takes her a moment to notice that you're not moving anymore and she opens her eyes to see you staring at her with a shocked expression.
>"Oh um, are you finished dear?" She says as her face goes from white to red.
>Any strength you had for one last rep was just leeched from your body by this proper speaking parasite.
"Yeah, I think I'm done."
>You say that as you put down the bar, causing her to land lightly on her butt.
"I think I'm going to go inside now."
>As you turn to go she tries to stop you, saying; "A-are you sure you don't want to try again. How do expect to get stronger if you give up so easily?"
>You're not swayed as you step into your house and close the door behind you, locking it.
>Looking out of your blinds you see her standing in your yard talking to herself.
>"Compose yourself Rarity. Not all stallions like the forward approach."
>She stands there for a moment until she sees your shirt laying in the grass. She uses her magic to pick it up and buries her face in it.
>You've never felt more violated.
>She looks around before folding the shirt neatly and putting it in her bags and walking off towards town.
>Maybe you should work out in the back yard from now on.

>Chest day.
>You were in the backyard this time.
>After what happened the other day it would probably be a good idea to keep a lower profile.
>It was overcast and kinda humid today, and the breeze let you know that it was going to rain soon.
>But you weren't about to let that stop you from lifting. You had recently built to your best approximation, a power rack.
>It looked shabby, but it worked. It had two thick boards that ran parallel to each other that you could lay the bar on.
>You could also do dips on them so that was great.
>You set your bar up and slid your small bench underneath it.
>Since you can't increase the weight you're forced to increase the volume. Like by a lot.
>You tried german volume training but that didn't help much. So you were just lifting as much and as fast as you could while keeping good form.
>You could get a decent pump but it just wasn't like lifting heavy.
>You were thinking about maybe making a new bar with bigger buckets, but you hadn't got around to it.
>You were just finishing your first set, after what seemed like a couple of minutes of pushing it. You felt it more in your tris than your pecs, but you've got quite a few more sets to go.
>After you finished that set you sat on your bench catching your breath. That's when you heard something.
>"Heelloo?"
>It was coming from what sounded like the front door. And it sounded like the same pony from the other day.
>You went through the back door and through your house to the front door, all the while hearing patient, yet persistent knocking.
>Opening the door you see her, the fancy white pony. This time with a box sitting next to her, about the size of a pizza box but taller, and wrapped in paper and a bow.
>"Oh hello dear, I thought for a moment you weren't home." She says.
"Yeah I was busy doing something."
>"Well I won't take much of your time then, I just came by to give you something."
>Using her magic she lifts the box towards you. Grabbing it you notice it smells like perfume. Kinda nice, but weird.
>"Well... open it."
>You do so, kinda dreading what it could be. You're pleasantly surprised when you see shirts inside.
"You bought be me new clothes?"
>"Made you new clothes, dear. I noticed how much of a sweat you worked up the other day and I thought to myself, 'how can I help this masculine, this rogue stallion, deal with the rigors of his intense physical training?' And then I came up with these."
>Holy shit she's got issues. She's not even awkward about it either, it's like she talks like that all the time.
>"Hurry and try them on, I can't wait to see how they fit." She says excitedly.
"O-ok." Is all you can think to say.
>She sits there watching, unblinking, as you remove your shirt and try on one of the new ones.
>It's tight. It basically clings to your skin, but not in an uncomfortable way. It's sort of stretchy.
>"As you'll notice it breaths much better than you're other shirts, and the fit is much more flattering to your physique."
>She playfully winks at you as she says that last bit.
"Yeah, it does. Uh thanks. I haven't really been able to find many clothes that fit me around here."
>"You're very welcome dear, like I said I try to help all of ponyville's residents feel welcomed."
"Ok, well... thanks again. Bye."
>As you try to close the door a hoof stops you from doing so.
>"Well I know you're busy but can I at least arrange for a time to see how the shirts perform?" She asks from the small space that's still open from the door.
"You mean like a work out?"
>"Yes." She says flatly.
"Uh, well, I'm kinda working out right now if you want to watch..."
>You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth.
>"That would be perfect! I could see how they hold up under those strenuous conditions." She says as she walks into your house.
"Well follow me to the backyard then."
>Walking through your house you can see she's a bit surprised. It was a little messy, probably messier than she was used to.
>"I should introduce myself, I'm Rarity, owner of ponyville's local boutique."
"I'm Anon, uh, ponyville's only human."
>"You have a lovely home Anon." She says, with just a hint of uneasiness.
"Thanks. Sorry about the mess, I wasn't expecting company."
>You can tell she can't stand it. Maybe this would be the way to scare her off. Clothes laying around, dirty dishes, and the couch cushions messed up.
>You decide to lay it on thick and make up a story about a roach problem when you turn around to see your living room clean.
>The couch cushions fluffed, the clothes folded and put in a neat pile, and the dirty dishes, cleaned and a magic aura carrying them to your kitchen.
>"I suppose with your busy schedule it would be hard to keep a house this size clean, but I'm always happy to help where there's a need." She says with a glowing horn and without a hint of smugness or sarcasm.
>Well that backfired.
>You thank her again as you lead her out the backdoor and over to your bench.
>She looks at your handiwork and asks if it's safe.
"Yeah I've been using it for a couple months now. It hasn't dropped on me yet."
>Laying down on the bench you decide to start over since your last break was so long. You never like to go longer than a minute.
>Picking up the bar you begin lifting it while she watches. This time she has the excuse of the shirts. You suspect tbat was the whole reason she made them, although she does own a boutique...
>You go for a couple of minutes before finally stopping. That's when she walks up to you and places her hoof on your chest.
>You're about to move back when she removes it herself.
>"Not sweaty at all. And that's even with how warm you are at the moment."
"Yeah, but I don't really sweat this soon into the workout anyway."
>"Is it like the other day, you just need a little more weight?"
>You know where she's going with this.
"Yeah..."
>"Hmm, well I suppose there's only one thing we can do. Could you pick it up again?"
>As you do so she does what you were expecting. She climbs on to the bench, and straddling your core, rests herself over the bar.
>This puts a noticeable amount of weight on it, but it has the unwelcome outcome of her sitting on you staring into your eyes.
"H-hey, I don't thin-"
>"How does that feel? Heavy enough?" She asks, cutting you off.
"Yeah it's heavy but I don't know if this is such a good idea."
>"Don't be silly Anon, we won't know how good the shirts are if we don't break them in." She says this, all the while staring down into your eyes. It's pretty awkward having her sit on you like this. She's very soft.
"Well, ok."
>You start to raise the bar. It's heavier now, not as heavy as you used to lift but definitely more than you've done recently.
>"How's that feel?"
"It's, pretty good."
>It actually feels great. You don't even mind having the pony on you that much anymore.
>"Do you want me to put more weight on it?"
"Sure." You say, almost excitedly.
>She grins as she leans into it more. The grin turns into a smile as you grunt to lift it, pushing it high up, and carefully bringing it down to your chest.
>You can feel the heat coming off of you as you move the bar and the pony to and from your body.
>"Do you like that Anon?" She asks, breathing a little heavier, with sweat forming on her brow. Strange, she must be pushing down harder than you thought.
"Yeah I do." You answer, not even thinking at this point.
>As soon as you say that her horn starts to glow, as does the bar and you feel the weight increase a lot. Too much even.
>Instead of struggling to push the bar up you have to struggle to keep it from coming down on you.
>Your eyes go wide as you realise it's still getting heavier. All the while Rarity is hovering over you biting her lip with her eyes closed.
"Rarity. Rarity stop!"
>Suddenly her eyes open and she uses the same magic to lift the bar up off of you.
>"Oh, I'm sorry dear. I must have gotten a little carried away."
"You almost took my head off!"
>"Well look, you worked up a sweat." She says as she feels your chest again.
>She right, but still.
>"I'm sorry, I should be more careful. I'm not exactly used to using magic this way." She says with a slightly regretful tone.
"Well it's ok I guess. That was a pretty good set up until the end."
>"Heh, yes I think it was." She says as she lays on your chest.
>This revelation is made by both of you in awkward silence.
>"Well, I had better be going now. I'd hate to over stay my welcome."
>As she gets up and steps off the bench you stop her.
"I've got like, four more quick sets. Can you stick around until I'm done?"
>Happily she gets back on top of you and levitates the bar into your hands.
"Try not to crush me this time though. Let's maybe avoid using magic unless totally necessary."
>"Of course dear, and I'll try not to get so worked up this time as well."
"Ok, but you have to stop calling me dear all the time."
>"Alright, Anon." She says as you begin to lift her again.
>As awkward and frightening as this whole situation was, you think you finally found a gym buddy. Albeit kind of a weird one.
>And her magic could come in handy when you need a spot.
>You figure that as long as she doesn't smell you again it should be fine.
>Just as the thought occurs you hear her taking an extra deep breath, holding it in before slowly letting it out. Could it have been...
>Nah, it was probably just because she's pushing on this bar. Yeah, that's it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>You are Anon.
>Long ago you decided to become a sick cunt and started lifting.
>Little did you know, you would leave humanity behind in more ways than one.
>Now you're a seven percent body fat monster with twenty inch biceps living in a place called ponyville.
>The problem is, your crippling social autism.
>You're not really autistic, hopefully, but you're just awkward in public. Even back on earth you weren't able to use your body to get girls.
>It's no different here. The ponies know every time you spill your spaghetti. They all think you're kind of weird, and mostly try to avoid you.
>Even mother ponies don't let their children get too close to you. Just like on earth...
>But God dammit you didn't sculpt the perfect physique just to get ignored by everyone.
>Today was the day. You'd spent the last month proving that you weren't a threat but it hadn't improved your situation much. Today you were going to get 'mired.
>As you walk into town it's the same story, ponies see you coming and start whispering to their friends or look away as they continue their business.
>You spot one pony in particular, a rainbow haired pegasus, you can't remember her name.
>From what you hear she is somewhat of an athlete here. Why she was here and not in the clouds you don't really know.
>As you walk over to her she turns around from the pony she was talking to and sees you. You see her expression go tense for a second and then she looks down, mumbling something to her friend.
"Hey, uh rainbow bolt." You say, looking at her butt picture to try to remember her name.
>"It's Rainbow Dash." She says, sounding irritated but still not facing you.
"Yeah I knew that. Wanna see something cool?"
>*sigh* "Not really Anon, I have a lot to do today and I was just having a private conversation with my friend Rarity here." She says as the one you assume is Rarity tries to suppress a chuckle.
"Oh alright I was just going to ask you to check my posing, maybe tell me where I could improve." You say as you whip off your shirt.
>Rarity stops laughing and her smile disapears. Rainbow Dash still hasn't looked up at you.
>She looks at Rarity and then turns to you while she speaks.
>"You know, private. That means it's just between two-"
>She freezes as she sees you. If what you saw in the mirror this morning is any indication, she's staring at what resembles a fitness model from the cover of men's health. And not one of the old guys either.
"Well, what do you think? I know I need to work on my traps some more, it's kinda my weak spot."
>You're throwing all autism out the window. Or maybe you're just being so autistic that it comes off as confident. You can't tell anymore.
>"A-anon..." she says. You notice she doesn't fully close her mouth after she speaks.
>She stands there, with unblinking eyes scanning over your body. Her wings slowly raise as her tail swishes back and forth, as though shes getting ready to fly away.
>Dammit it didn't work. Your alien body must've freaked her out. Even Rarity looks embarrassed for you, shes blushing.
>"H-how did you... why..?" Is all she sputters out.
>You try your best to sound cool about this.
"Heh, just joking dude."
>You chastise yourself for calling a girl dude. Beta as fuck.
>Sighing you pick up your shirt and walk back to your house. Today was clearly not the day. Maybe you should try a beach or something. Atleast then being shirtless would make sense.

>Be Rainbow Dash.
>You're with Rarity, talking about Fluttershy. She seems to think that Flutters has been spending a lot of time with Discord lately.
>You're sticking up for her as usual when Rarity tells you to turn around.
>When you look back you see Anon, that creepy dude who's always trying buy chicken and rice for some reason.
>Looking back at Rarity she smiles wickedly.
>"Looks like you've caught some stallions eye, dear." She whispers at you.
"Shut up." You try to tell her as quietly as you can while she just giggles.
>She's probably wrong, but that would be just your luck. Another creep who wants to be your special somepony. The idea makes you sick.
>"Hey, uh Rainbow Bolt." He says, standing way too close to you as he does so. Did he just sneak up behind you? You really want to buck him now. Like actually buck him.
"It's Rainbow Dash." You say, hoping your tone would be enough of a hint for him to leave.
He asks if you want to see something and you tell him you're busy. He's like a child or something, the guy is seriously weird.
>All the while Rarity is loving every second of the awkwardness here.
>He says something about posing and you decide to just be blunt. At that moment you notice Rarity looks dead serious.
>As you turn around you're greeted by the sight of what can only be described as incredible.
>Where once stood Anon now stand a golden tanned Adonis, whatever that is. Muscles that you've only seen in dreams, the kind of dreams you wake up from in a fever.
>It's like a dream come true. What was once a nightmare conversation with Anon is now the dreamiest sight you've ever seen. You may be dreaming.
>You're snapped back to consciousness by his suddenly deep, masculine voice.
"A-anon..."
>As you feel your wings rising you start to scream internally. You cannot be getting stiff wings now, not in front of everypony.
>Breath Rainbow, breath.
"H-how did you... why..?"
>Smooth.
>He just looks at you in silence before laughing.
>"Just joking dude."
>He called you dude that is amazing.
>Before you can say anything more he starts walking off. You stand frozen for a few more seconds before Rarity grabs you and turns you around.
>"Did you see that?"
"What was that all about, he's so ripped."
>"How can he possibly hide all of that muscle beneath his clothes? Furthermore why would he?"
"How could I not have noticed that for so long?"
>You and her seem equally surprised by this. Anypony seeing you two would think you're some frilly school mares who just got asked to a dance.
>"We... we have to tell the others."
"Rarity hold on a minute. Maybe we shouldn't tell anypony, I, I mean, we wouldn't want to embarrass Anon."
>She stares at you for a moment before the same evil smile slowly reappears on her face.
>"You like him?"
"What? No!" You say, not defensively.
>"You do. You think he's hot."
"I do not. You were the one who turned red."
>"You can't fool me, your jaw was practically on the floor. And don't think I don't know what those mean." She says as she points to your still raised wings.
>She just grins as you scowl.
"You don't know what you're talking about. They only do that when it's chilly." You say as you start to fly away.
>"But it's summer, dear." She shouts to you before your out of range.
"There was a breeze!" You yell back as you fly above the clouds.
>Stupid Rarity, thinks she knows everything about who ponies like. What a joke.
>You're going to go back to your house and Just try to forget about this whole thing. Maybe work out a little. For some reason you're really craving a protein shake.

>Sure is hard to fly like this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Another day in Equestria.
>Finding work here has always been difficult, meaning you had to scrape to get by.
>You go to a restaurant and say you're a cook and they want to see the cutiemark that you don't have. Repeat this for literally any other job and you can paint a good picture of your employment history.
>You just don't have a special talent that shows on your body like the ponies do, at least not in a way that could get you a job.
>Looking at the want ads again you notice a single paragraph stating an opening for a personal trainer at a newly opened gym.
>You figure it's worth a shot and head on your way.
>It's a short walk to the edge of town when you see it. A building with a banner that says grand opening beneath the ponyville fitness sign.
>As you walk inside you're greeted by a rush cool air and the sight of some weights and a few recognizable machine and equipment.
>Walking to the front desk you see a middle aged pony standing there with a uniform that says "PVF" on it. She looks in your direction and puts on a professional face.
>"Good morning sir. Are you here for the free trial?" She says.
"Free trial?" You ask.
>"Yes sir. Today only we're offering a one week free trial to the entire facility to celebrate our grand opening. So can I sign you up?" She says with a smile.
"Uh no actually, I'm here for the job opening. For the personal trainer." You say.
"Oh." She says as her tone changes. "Well do you have any experience as a personal trainer?"
"No, but I used to go the gym when before I came here and I know all about proper form and diet. And I could help clean after ponies when they're done with the equipment." You say, trying to sell yourself.
>"Well that may be sir, but do you have any experience with ponies? They would have different needs than a... biped such as yourself." You know where this is going.
>"Diet and form that works for you may not work for ponies, and we would be responsible if anypony were injured here." She says.
>You've heard this before. It's always a little different but they always tell you the same thing. 'We just can't hire you'.
>"Unfortunately we can't take a risk like that here. I apologize, but you're still welcome to work out here if you're interested."
>You see a few ponies working out and figure it wouldn't make your day any worse.
"Yeah sign me up, I guess." You say, defeated but not too upset. You half expected this outcome.
>After getting set up you decide to just work on the basics. You have a week so you decide to start with a chest day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"Anon, why are we here?"
>Your friend Twilight was asking a valid question that you didn't have very good answer for.
>The other ponies all agreed, each adding there own version of the same question, why had you called them here?
"Can I at least get you guys something to drink? I have... just water I guess."
>You were trying to stall as much as you could. You suspected that they wouldn't respond well to what you were going to ask them.
>Twilight and her friends were used to crazy adventures and saving the world, and what you needed them for was pretty weird at best.
>After a tepid reception to your offer of water you decided you'd just do it. Best to get it over with fast.
"Look I called you all here because I need you, or at least some of you, to climb onto my back and let me squat you."
>You get blank stares from all of them. Then Pinkie Pie starts the laughter followed by Rainbow Dash and then the others besides Fluttershy. She looked more worried than anything.
>"Wow Anon, you got me this time. You sounded totally serious." Rainbow Dash says.
"I am serious though." You say flatly.
>This causes Pinkie Pie to laugh again but the others don't follow this time.
>"Anon what are you talking about? What do you mean by squatting?" Rarity asks.
>"Some animals squat when they, um, d-do their business..." Fluttershy manages to squeak out.
>You put on your best 'da fuq' expression while the ponies look shocked.
>"What in the world, why would you bring us here for that Anon?" Applejack asks angrily.
>Before you can respond you're hit with another round of pony rambling.
>"Girls I doubt Anon would try to do something like that. Why would he even want to do that?'' Says Twilight, sticking up for you.
>"Well he is a monkey after all." Says Rainbow Dash.
>"Do monkeys do that? They always seem so cute at the zoo and I've never seen one do that before." Says Pinkie Pie.
"Look I just want to-"
>"Well I don't care if you are a dang monkey I'm not going to have any part of this." Applejack says, clearly rethinking her decision to befriend you.
>"How dreadful." Guess.
"I'm not a damn monkey and I just want to work out!" You yell, finally regaining control of this runaway train.
>"Well Anon, you being or not being a monkey is still up for debate." Twilight says self assuredly, as though shes an expert on you.
"I don't have a tail, what is wrong with you?"
>"Who would know, you're always wearing pants." She replies.
"Jesus, I didn't bring you here to argue about this. Squatting is an excercise that humans do where you put weight on your back, squat down with it, and then bring it back up."
>You tell them this and they look at you with slightly less disgusted faces.
"It's like, the most important exercise you can do and I need help with it." You say in a pleading tone.
>And of course the ponies nope one by one and start to leave.
>Even Pinkie, who you figured was your best bet here.
>As you sit alone in your house you begin to realize you may never squat again. You didn't think you'd ever be so upset about that.
>A few minutes pass when there's a slight knock at your door. Opening it you see Fluttershy.
>She looks you in the eyes for a brief second before looking away in what looks like her typical nervousness.
>"Um..."
>You wait for more but it doesn't come.
"Are you ok Fluttershy?"
>"Um, if you really need help with your exercise, I'd be w-willing to help, if you think I can, that is..."
>You 'aww' internally.
"Are you sure? No offense but I didn't really expect you to be the one to want to help me with this."
>"We're friends Anon, I like helping my friends. She says a with some confidence. "B-but if you don't think I'll be able to do it right that's ok t-to." She says looking away again.
"No, you'll definitely work. Thank you by the way." You tell her, trying to gauge her weight.
>She was one of the heavier ponies of the group. You were really hoping for Applejack or Pinkie Pie But nothing wrong with her.
"Come inside, I'll tell you what we have to do here."
>As she slowly walks in you motion for her to sit on your couch. You offer her water again and she agrees this time.
>You can tell already that the problem with Fluttershy is going to be the awkwardness. She just so delicate you don't want to hurt her somehow.
"So, ever do anything like this for one of your animal friends?" You ask as you take a seat next to her.
>She blushes a little before shaking her head.
>"Actually I don't really have any experience with this." She says.
"Well I really appreciate it. I was afraid I'd never be able to do it again since I came here. You don't know what a relief it is that you came back."
>As she tries to hide her face behind her mane you get another knock at the door.
>When you open it you're greeted by another unexpected sight, Twilight.
>"Uh hi, Anon. Or hi again I should say."
"Hey Twilight." You say back, not wanting to press you luck by asking if she's here to help you.
>But you don't have to ask as she tells you.
>"I thought about what you told us earlier and I thought I should take this opportunity to learn about how humans 'exercise'." She says the last part with a wink.
"Soo... You want to help me?"
>"Yes, if the offer still stands that is."
"Well yeah, that would be great. Just don't go on about me being a monkey and we'll be good." You tell her.
>"W-well that shouldn't be a question anymore after today now should it?" She says with a weird grin on her face.
"No, it shouldn't. Monkeys don't exercise. I thought you were the smart one." That makes her chuckle a little.
"Well come in and have a seat while I get ready." You say as you open the door and motion her to enter.
>As she does, she sees Fluttershy on your couch and freezes for a second.
>"O-oh, Fluttershy, I didn't think you would've have decided to help Anon too. N-not that you wouldn't help somepony, I just didn't expect YOU to be interested in this sort of thing."
>Fluttershy just covers her face with her hooves. You watch in confusion as this happens.
"Are you two going to be ok? It's just exercise." You say, trying to grasp what's happening here.
"It's nothing sketchy, if you don't want to do this you don't have to."
>"N-no of course I want to Anon. I was just a little surprised is all." Twilight says.
"And you Fluttershy?"
>A quiet "Mhmm" is all she says as she nods with a blushing face.
"Ok well, since we're all here, we may as well get started." You say as you walk over to the two ponies in front of you.
>Twilight grins wide and Fluttershy audibly gulps, both of them blushing. Of course they were going to make this weird, the two most awkward ones in the group.
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Thread died after this. RIP after a revival of 5 threads and RIP RiggyRag, he was a great write fag, consumed by real life, he'll never be forgotten. I guess I'll just wait here for the next revival, yup waiting...