Evening gents, once again I’m back to appeal something, we’ve gone from CP to SC, and now we’re onto AW, again my apologies in advance thankfully though this one is more about me just gathering something positive from my trial failure, but I’ll also just be trying to defend myself when it comes to some of the problems you might’ve had with me in the hopes of redemption and re-addition as unlikely as it may be.

Now after that brief ramble I might as well actually start getting to the point, that of course being I was wondering if I could have knowledge upon what deemed me unable to fully pass the trial, any blatant mistakes I made that perhaps put the faction in a negative light and so on, this is more just for me to in the future learn from them and also act as a bit of closure, also perhaps allowing me the chance to apologize if there was anything overtly bad I had done that I haven't either noticed or misunderstood it's severity.

Secondly, I'd also like to express my slight disappointment at being judged "incompetent" as Pumpkin decided to describe my behavior, I'd just like to remind you that it was my first time with an Dispatcher and always tried to ask questions and was extremely open to receiving feedback, repeatedly voicing my apologies for the mistakes I had made and I made conscious effort to improve and remain courteous. However, even with me expressing my regret missteps are bound to happen, I'm only human and with the help of the close friend Snookdoggy who too applied and was accepted at around the same time as me we both worked together trying to dispatch at similar times as two heads are better than one, we both openly spoke about our mistakes and built upon eachothers new experiences.

Apologies for 'sharing private messages' but I just wanted to give proper evidence of my responses to the little criticism I did recieve, more about that 'little' below as it is something else I'd like to discuss, but here are the only logs I could find where I was pointed out to have made a mistake and my appropriate response.

Spoiler: Examples of my eagerness to explain myself / apologise

However, I cannot help but in part blame you Pumpkin for having me reach a point deemed so unacceptable the whitelist was pulled like a rug out from under me, I wish to remind you I still consider you a friend (all that 'no hard feelings' shit, seriously you're a good dude and I have a lot of respect for you), but really if I was showing signs of 'incompetence' approach me, point out my mistakes, guide me in the right direction as clearly I'm enjoying the spot on the roster with the frequency I flagged on, don't lead me on with statements such as "Yeah sure when you get staff I'll grant you Dispatcher, just don't be a dickhead" as you uttered on Teamspeak only for a couple days afterwards to announce I had failed the trial. I was extremely disheartened to suddenly see the alert pop up while I browsed the forums, sadistically while I was opening the Overwatch Compendium looking to once again flag on. I hope you understand this isn't some passive aggression but I genuinely feel as if I owned up to the mistakes I had knowledge I had committed but was lead astray purely as without guidance like a new dispatcher should be provided with I was met with silence, questions I did ask were usually left unanswered and while I respect you may have been busy, /a response/ after a matter of hours of even days would have been sufficient with many of my queries falling on deaf ears.
This wasn't aided by the fact I was warned in-game by Pumpkin a few hours when the 'wound' was still raw after the dewhitelist proving he was active and was actively spectating my behaviour on my unit but yet refused to respond to my messages on steam when I tried to prompt conversation about the entire issue regarding Airwatch and my removal, provoking me further to become increasingly concerned about what I had done that could warrant such a response.

With all of the above stated, do you agree to come forward to faction managers if you have any questions, concerns, or difficulties in the execution of your duties as a dispatcher?
I know I have learned much over the short while I held a what I felt secure place in the roster, and want to prove to you I can be competent and are eager to become a respected member within the nebulous community for my seriousness and commitment to roleplay, approaching three months after my Civil Protection reintegration after the dewhitelist of UNION-8 (which I /still/ continue to apologize for largely in the teamspeak, even with me having the piss taken out of me in OOC by a handful of units what feels like an eternity after it occurred to which I can't respond to in fear more people will grow curious and enquire into what I actually did wrong, as yes I'm sure you know having the past dragged up is more than uncomfortable especially when considering it makes me look like nothing more than an outrageous minge) I feel like I have proven my capability to retain some semblance of maturity, respect for other players and seriousness as I detailed I would strive for in that separate conversation.

Do you understand that you can, at any time, be summoned by faction managers for interview to determine your capability, intelligence, and worthiness to remain within the faction
In addition, I would have loved to have had such an 'interview' or would've enjoyed taking some time to arrange a time to openly discuss my problems and for me to receive feedback. This was never offered or even uttered, I could've greatly benefited from such a meeting over discord, teamspeak, heck even just a handful of steam messages. I feel like without these those involved in the final decision are not entirely aware of my enthusiasm or commitment to improvement that I continue to uphold since I joined Nebulous, and with the sudden revocation of the whitelist after receiving praise from multiple units and acknowledgment about my possibility to become a full dispatcher with no-clip privileges it only felt more painful and disheartening.

In closing, I'm asking for:
Information regarding why I was deemed 'unfit' for further duty as a Scanner, attaching logs as appropriate or specifically detailing how my behavior had to have been met with such an aggressive takedown
Some sort of message from Pumpkin himself regarding the issue's raised above and something relating to his sudden need to fall silent and never raise any of the mistakes I made with me personally so some much-needed back and forth could be created, and why I was falsely lead to believe I was performing at an acceptable standard, that goes for fellow leads if applicable.
Further comments about this conversation as an appeal, the verdict on said appeal, how I would go about reapplying if deemed unable to rejoin, and guidance towards where to turn next.
I loved, and I mean /loved/, having the time to play as a Dispatcher and the opportunity to help provide players with immersion, roleplay etc, having it so abruptly taken without notice feels like a knife to the gut and even a little closure would be much appreciated. With that, I would like to end this on a happier note, apologies if any part seemed overtly angry, sounded like I was annoyed, this was written over many separate sessions and my mood will of course fluctuate as expected, I hope everyone is having a good 2018 so far and I look forward to speaking with you soon. Please- and I mean PLEASE discuss openly with me any concerns you have before making some final decision or a last word, I wish for this to be as open a conversation as possible to ensure everyone adequately feels happy with the conclusion reached.

Many thanks, I wish you all the best.
'No hard feelings'
TommyGman

(For the sake of ease incase I've missed anyone out I'm including everyone from either the HC / Dispatch team and the SD, plus this just means everyone is on the same page to avoid confusion and need for further discussion in between and also allows me to receive the most feedback, otherwise feel free to leave if the conversation invite isn't necessary to you, I know there has been a lot of recent resignations / promotions in the respective rosters so again sorry if i'm mistaken.)