DashNews Ticker

Game.Win('Third-party');
Game.getNewTicker=function()
{
var list=[];
list.push('News: \'UPDATING SOON!\', claims Orteil.');
list.push('News: Zuptin found drunk in hallway, estimations place amount of dead brain cells in the billions.');
list.push('News: buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz');
list.push('News: A rare sighting is made of Opti visiting the forum.');
list.push('News: Sparky made a post here that was a cheap ploy to farm points, but we replaced it with this news ticker message.');
list.push('News: Sparky was such a noob, I couldn\'t even think of a good news ticker.');
list.push('News: Gouchnox\'s latest speed-running video is racking up views.');
list.push('News: Gouchnox has created this news ticker as a Minecraft mod.');
list.push('News: Cookiewoodstock seen roleplaying with various users at an alarming rate.');
list.push('News: Activity is full of cryptic in-joke posts that only Cookiewoodstock and ArtificalCookie understand.');
list.push('News: Shylight bans annoying spam account without mercy.');
list.push('News: Shylight caught licking random people for no apparent reason.');
list.push('News: RP with Anon9mous passes 10,000 messages.');
list.push('News: Anon9mous discusses his fetishes with the forum.');
list.push('News: Tellurium\'s latest drawing astonishes everyone.');
list.push('News: Tellurium leads magnificent new procrastination movement.');
list.push('News: BurntCookie attempts to not overcook himself, but accidentally sets the oven temperature too high.');
list.push('News: BurntCookie gains yet another level on Kongregate.');
list.push('News: 44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444');
list.push('News: Memorial bread loaf placed near TFU_Satron\'s grave.');
list.push('News: DarthCookie settles disagreement with intellectual speech.');
list.push('News: DarthCookie writes a thought-provoking short story.');
list.push('News: list.push(\'News: list.push(\'News: Kirdneh takes over the news ticker.\');\');');
list.push('News: This Cookie Clicker news ticker message is a message that says how it\'s a Cookie Clicker news ticker message.');
list.push('News: AuroyaNovo creates novel new pony design art.');
list.push('News: AuroyaNovo is hungry, eats a purple snake.');
list.push('News: DarkSoul1800 relays important update from Orteil to the activity page.');
list.push('News: DarkSoul1800 plans massive taco-eating contest for next Tuesday.');
list.push('News: Darkmatterfire rubs preposterous quantities of bacon on everyone.');
list.push('News: \'holy fuck sparky,\' exclaims salty Darkmatterfire.');
list.push('News: Uiomancant attempts to exist, fails.');
list.push('News: ');
list.push('News: Erdbeere posts many \'almost NSFW pictures of ______.\'');
list.push('News: Confusion over Erdbeere\'s name results in a violent cannibalism attempt.');
list.push('News: Leon shitposts edgy image carefully calculated to cause a completely meaningless argument.');
list.push('News: Leon takes a stance deliberately contrary to everyone else in the thread.');
list.push('News: Cookie\'s post rake lies dormant, but its power when fully awakened is well known and feared by all.');
list.push('News: 1');
list.push('News: ShinyTrees announces plan to leave the forums, but predictably returns a few months later.');
list.push('News: ShinyTrees steadily rises through the tiers of dankness.');
list.push('News: ExplodingCamel avidly participates in latest activity comments debate.');
list.push('News: New Best of DashNet bracket is live, hosted by ExplodingCamel.');
list.push('News: Karlolin completely consumed by Homestuck, please send help.');
list.push('News: Karlolin\'s latest Forumball comic is a wild success.');
list.push('News: Zyzzyzus scheduled to host coding seminar at noon tomorrow.');
list.push('News: :p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:ppppp');
list.push('News: Lennonluiz0907 gains a new impossible badge, bringing his total up to 2,485.');
list.push('News: The sun\'s light has been scientifically proven to originate from Lennonluiz0907.');
list.push('News: Idler posts nonsensically hilarious Engrish.');
list.push('News: Idler happily observes as Faster Menner, the best suggestion in the history of the forum, becomes canon.');
list.push('News: Chisako seen gleefully abusing his mod powers.');
list.push('News: Chisako x Tellurium confirmed!');
list.push('News: Diamond655 making great progress in identifying joke posts.');
list.push('News: 655 is now the most commonly misspelled number on the forum.');
list.push('News: RedCookie6666 lurks in the shadows outside the forum, watching events unfold.');
list.push('News: iAMmincho brutally murdered by noob misunderstanding the grandmapocalypse.');
list.push('News: Zicit and DoomlordKravoka found dead after a vicious argument about autism.');
list.push('News: Generic troll visits the forum, leaves well fed.');
list.push('News: Weekly leaderboard resets, activity filled with gimmicky grabs at getting a spot on it.');
list.push('News: Poll quality declines by as much as 3.661% per day, experts say.');
list.push('News: Undertale references comprise more and more posts as its evil influence spreads across humanity.');
list.push('News: Slack in-jokes are used with increasing frequency as activity is diverted to the chat service.');
list.push('News: Is the forum dying? New study begins live at 6:00 tonight.');
list.push('News: The latest forum meme suffers a massive downward spiral as users begin spam-flagging it wherever they see it.');

for (var i in Game.customTickers)
{
var arr=Game.customTickers[i]();
for (var ii in arr) list.push(arr[ii]);
}
Game.TickerAge=Game.fps*10;
Game.Ticker=choose(list);
Game.AddToLog(Game.Ticker);
Game.TickerN++;
Game.TickerDraw();
}