(FR) Cuil

Mar 9th, 2013
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  1. >Day Cuil Theory in Equestria
  2. >You wake up
  3. >Begin the shit shower shave
  4. >Your razor has turned into a cheeseburger
  5. >As you turn around your door mimes a re-enactment of the Hindenburg
  6. >You can taste your toothpaste turn into the color of right
  7. "What the fuck is going on?!"
  8. >You grab to put on your pants
  9. >I hand you an Allen wrench that is two sizes too large for my car
  10. >The walls fold away to reveal foals dancing with a creature made of sound and sharpness
  11. >Your head hits the wall as the universe shifts ten inches to the left, excluding yourself
  12. >You start to run, only to see your feet propel you at a right angle to reality
  13. >The doorbell sounds
  14. >A mushroom grows on a dead tree only to laugh at the death of it's nourishment
  15. >Light comes in waves
  16. >I hand you another cheeseburger
  17. >Your mouth is dry of pink attic insulation
  18. >A creature of many limbs crawls out of your shirt and mocks you on your fashion choice
  19. >Fluttershy begins eating the sound around her
  20. >I hand you your first cheeseburger
  21. >A small filly laughs at you
  22. >You turn around only to fall up the stairs
  23. >You eat the Allen Wrench
  24. >Reality meshes with a universe that exists at a 14 degree angle to yours, causing all triangles to be 194 degrees
  25. >Motes of triumph bleed through the stratosphere
  26. >You hold your ears, close your eyes, and start yelling
  27. >Only your mother can hear
  29. >Wake up in a wrecked house
  30. >Fluttershy is on top of you, leaking both her and your fluids onto your groin
  31. >...What the fuck just happened?!
  32. >Were you...
  33. >Fucking Fluttershy?
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