Hermes - Macho Madness scaling

“Crap,” Dedede said, “Crap crap crap! TAKER!” The specter of the Undertaker materialized beside Dedede, trying to act tough but visibly rattled by the brutality he’d witnessed. “Don’t we have anything else?”

“I mean, I can summon the ghosts of dead Scramblers,” Undertaker noted.

“Oh yeah, forgot we could do that.” Turning to Hermes, Dedede smiled wildly as his eyes glowed an eerie green. Shimmering lights danced on the canvas, coalescing into the transparent bodies of past Scramblers, each showing Hermes the same shimmering green gaze. “GET HIM, GHOSTIES!”

A mass of ghosts resembling a school of fish descended on the lone fighter, and amidst a sea of thrashing maws and flying fists, Hermes grinned.

**OOOOH SHIT HERE WE GO! JACQUES, I CAN’T WATCH, HIDE ME!**

**HERMES JUST KILLED CARNAGE IN A SINGLE HIT!**

**SPEEDWAGON NO I DON’T WANT TO KNOW**

**NOW HE’S WEARING LORD RAPTOR’S JAW AS A CROWN!**

**SPEEDWAGON PLEASE**

**HE’S DISEMBOWELED ROB LUCCI AND USED HIS CORPSE TO BEAT MEWTWO AND AQUA TO DEATH!**

**HOW DID YOU GET HERE**

**JOTARO AND DIO STOPPED TIME AND DESTROYED THEIR FISTS PUNCHING HIS FACE!**

**WHAT DID YOU DO WITH TIEN**

**HE JUST FED CROCODILE TO BLACK ROCK SHOOTER UNTIL SHE EXPLODED!**

**WHAT CRUEL GOD MADE YOU NARRATE EVERYTHING YOU SEE**

**HE BIT OFF RAIDEN’S SWORD AND SPAT THE PIECES THROUGH BUGS BUNNY’S HEAD!**

**I’M NOT BRAVE ENOUGH FOR THIS, JACQUES! I HAVE TO PUT A STOP TO THIS BEFORE HE SAYS TOO MUCH!!**

A gunshot rang out from the announcer’s desk, and the arena went suddenly quiet and very still as the crowd realized that no more ghosts had manifested from the ether surrounding Undertaker. The spectral bodies had formed a literal pile on top of Hermes, and nothing seemed to be moving.

“D-did we do it?” Dedede asked his Stand. Taker was about to respond until Hermes pushed his way out from beneath the pile of ghostly bodies, sweaty and winded but hardly so much as scratched by the assault. “Crap!” Dedede cried. “Those are the best guys we had this Scramble! Isn’t there anyone else!?”

***

Round 10, FreestyleKneepad