things

Luna: Your top reasons for getting married?

Kaj: Firmly saying “That’s my WIFE!” and knocking someone out in one punch.

Luna: ….

Kaj: and love I guess.

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Sunitha: I hope all boys die before 2015

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Ank: [Titled: The most private thing I’m willing to admit] On the outside I may appear like an emotionless sarcastic piece of shit but just like an onion when you peel off more layers you find the exact same thing every single time and you start crying.

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Jade: This bring back memories, I loved playing doctor as a child.

Katarina, speaking to her teddy bear: The cancer has spread. Get your house in order.

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Katarina: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

Kaze: Please never become a surgeon

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Denzia: You know I hate it when you make up words.

Jack: Are you still mad at me for saying ‘snacksident’?

Denzia: Yes very

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Daniel, while raiding the Lost Society Fortress: We’ll stand together even in life and death

Jack: Probably Death

Kit: Oh Death for sure

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Teruchi: I guess I’m just a bad person

Kaze: Nah, you’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favourite person. But sometimes you can be a real cunt.

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Xerxes: Kneel before the king.

Daniel: I will NEVER kneel to you!

Xerxes: Your shoe is loose.

Daniel: Oh! [kneels down to fix it, realizes] AGH!

Xerxes: Got ‘em.

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Jax: Jack’s missing. Can you find him?

Denzia: Do you think I have him micro-chipped or something?

Jax: Well, do you?

Denzia: …

Denzia: Yeah, hang on.

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Jax: Do you have a cat?

Jack, remembering girls like sensitive guys: yes

Jax: Oh what’s it’s name?

Jack, remembering girls also like tough guys: Missle Launcher

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Dante: Just Googled “how to talk feelings with guys.” My balls are blue with emotions can you look at the ass of my mind and tell me you’d wanna hit that but like, conversationally?

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Kaze: So Teruchi what are you bringing to our family Christmas dinner?

Teruchi: My negative attitude and sparkling personality.

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Denzia: It would behoove us to bring a gift to the party.

Jack: Yeah dude… that would be so hoovus.

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Teruchi: At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties? I don’t want to stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.

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Danielle: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found

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Zora: My meds make me super spacey but I was trying to drive my husband and I to work and he pointed out a pothole and said “to the left” but I just mumbled “take it back now y’all” and hit the fucking pothole straight on

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Jack: Wait, silverfish are real? They’re not just a Minecraft thing???

Jack: Well thank god SKELETONS aren’t in the real world that would be fucked up

Jax: Hey Jack

Jack: Yeah what’s up

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Loki: You know, when we work together we’re actually a pretty great team!

Ank: Mmhmm. It’s a shame I’m always trying to kill you.

Loki: I know, right? You really need to cut back on that.

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Denzia: If it’s a concussion, you have to keep them conscious, okay? Ask them questions.
Jax: [to Jack] What’s seven times seven?
Denzia: Stuff they know.

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Librata: How drunk are you?
Ranthael: Several.

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Loki: I’ll carve our initials into a tree on our first date because it’s the most romantic way to let you know I have a knife.

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Letro: Listen, Dano, in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted.
Daniel: I’m literally begging you to stop.

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Astra: sauce made from apples at Walmart
Astra: I need the price for apple sauce at Walmart
Astra: oh is not the goggle my bad
Astra: search google for apple sauce price at Walmart
Astra: Cameron help me search apple sauce price at Walmart
Cameron: http://www.google.com/

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Ank: I’ve never been to a real snowball fight

Loki: Oh really?

Ank: I don’t even know the rules. Is there, like, a point system, or is it to the death?

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Letro: Here’s a fun idea. We hang a mistletoe, but instead of kissing the person underneath, we have to FIGHT the person.

Daniel: We are definitely not doing that

Kaj: Mistlefoe

Daniel: DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM

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Letro: Quit sulking like a baby

Kaj: I am sulking like a full grown man!

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Serafina: Name one way to be nicer to people

Teruchi: Don’t kill them

Serafina: Setting the bar real low but I’ll allow it.

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Kaj: Pros of wearing black: It looks badass.
Kaj: Cons: Everyone knows I had powdered donuts.