A night to remember part one.
- I awoke the next morning, genuinely surprised to be alive. I didn't even move at first, I just sort of lied there scanning the room, the red numbers on the cable box said it was 3:53. So I was still in the apartment. The room looked... off, not quite different, just off. Almost like it had gotten bigger but that couldn't be.
- The events from last night hung in my mind but they were fading fast as if it had all been a bad dream, details getting lost until only a general idea of what I endured remained. knowing that I was losing memory of something I knew was important was unsettling to say the least but honestly it felt like a relief at the same time, as if remembering the ordeal would be a burden on my mind. each detail lost was like a little more weight off my shoulders.
- All things considered I was unsure how I felt. To think that just hours ago I not only welcomed death but actually desired it. Then to believe I was being granted it and simply wake up the next day as if nothing had happened felt almost surreal.
- >I though I was going to die and now everything is ok.
- I could have sat there in disbelief far longer than I did but an audible rumbling alerted me to the fact that I was in fact hungry. understandable considering I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. All thing considered this was great. It was over! I was ok! I had done something that was completely idiotic and had essentially come out unscathed!
- I'd been feeling like shit for a few weeks now but it felt like things were finally going to start going my way. I felt a smile growing on my face and a new found vigor and appreciation for life burning fierce in me. In my uplifted mood I even laughed, unperturbed by the high almost feminine pitch it reached. Nothing could ruin this for me.
- Planting my hands on the carpet beneath me I felt a painful soreness plaguing my body as if I'd tried to take a freight train in a fight and had my ass handed to me through my mouth. It was a drawback but not enough to dampen my mood. With a light grunt I pushed myself to my feet, ready to-
- -have my face abruptly meet the floor.
- "what the crap"I groaned, putting a hand on my aching nose to... something wasn't right. this... This was not my nose. I could feel air going in and out of something but this was different... it felt more like a... a snout, or maybe a muzzle? Working my was out of the initial surprise my eyes went to where my hand should have met my face instead showing me a little grey stump. I waved it in front of my face, even tried to touch it with my other hand only to find that it too was in the came condition.
- >Did that shit make me lose my hands? and turn grey?
- Eyes going further down my wrist and up my arms, if they could still be called that, reveled to me that things were NOT ok like I had initially thought. In fact I didn't think there was a way things could be any more 'not ok'. My brain was fighting it's way back into working order and with each step of progress came greater, more increasingly frightening clarity to mind. My eyes, now fulling alert showed me that my skin wasn't grey, or at least not as far as I could tell, but was actually covered in grey fur. I was certain I almost felt my stomach drop right out my ass when I finally realized that I had hooves... like on a horse.
- I suddenly felt exhausted, my mood had gone though the roof only to be brought crashing back down, taking my strength with it as I collapsed back on the floor. My brain was pretty much up and running but all of this had brought my mind to shambles, desperately working to make some sense of this. Silently, as if in a trance I craned my neck back to find my clothes on the floor, looking for the most part as if they were completely empty, and confirming that the rest of me did resembled a horse albeit a tiny one. It looked like the bottom half of this body, My body was still partially inside my shirt, through the collar.
- >wait a minute, are those...?
- Wings. There was a pair of wings, open and looking a mess, sticking out of my back.
- >Holy shit, I shouldn't even fucking exist!
- "ok, relax. relax. Everything's gonna be ok. everything's gonna be-"I stopped, eyes darting throughout the room, looking for the owner of the unfamiliar voice I'd just hear. The one who was just saying... exactly what I was thinking.
- >No... It couldn't... Please no...
- "h-hello?"I tested, feeling my heart sink as I was forced to accept that the 'unfamiliar voice' belonged to me.
- >Sure, why not, I just found myself a tiny winged horsey, why not have a different voice too. I did take a crazy mystery drug yesterday so I must be tripping balls. yup! Definitely that! Just a lingering effect from yesterday!
- "yes sir, everything is still ok!"I decided, straining to keep some semblance of self control. The decision was made with a great effort to push doubt aside and struggling to fight back the panic and terror. I brought a hand, er, hoof to my face, absentmindedly pawing at my cheek.
- >Or would that be hoofing at it. it's not a paw but sometimes the action is still called the same thing even with a hand. then again if it was a hand it would have fingers and if I had fingers I just know I'd be scratching. Yup, this is definitely a more important subject.
- I forced a smiled this time, trying to get back that oh so good mood I'd had just minutes ago, and bringing my legs out of my shirt, pulling the alien appendages close.
- >they say the simple act of smiling can make you feel bett-oh would you look at that a little pink tail!
- I laughed, straining to make it as genuine as possible.
- >gotta make it convincing!
- >but Why isn't it working?
- I proceeded to smile harder.
- >That's the problem, I'm just not smiling hard enough. If I smile hard enough it'll work, I Just gotta stay positive because everything is oooooookay! It always is!
- "everything is fine, yup, yup, yup, yes sirrrrry!"I laughed some more as tears Began to fill my eyes.
- >Those fucking TRAITORS!!! How dare they cry, especially when there's NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT! BECAUSE NOTHING IS WRONG!!! EVERYTHING IS OK, HAS BEEN OK, AND WILL BE OK!!!
- "everything's ok. Everything's ok. Everything's ok, everything's ok, everythingsokeverythingsokeverythingsokeverythingsok"I Repeated those words to myself, over and over, faster and faster until even I couldn't understand them. It was as if saying them enough times would somehow make it true. Of course underneath all that I knew nothing was ok but I kept on in that unfamiliar voice, my heart picking up pace along with my breath as tears streaked down a face that I couldn't even see, that I knew wasn't mine, eventually bringing myself to hysterical laughter. I wanted to believe that I just had to pretend I was happy and ok. That if I could convince myself I was I somehow would be. I laughed harder and harder, till my face hurt from smiling and my lungs burned from exhaustion.
- I was starting to get dizzy, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath. This wasn't working. Of course it wasn't, it was stupid of me to think that it would. I had made my way to hysterical laughing pretty fact, but no where near as fast as how I abruptly stopped. In the bling I was immediately silent.
- >this is real. Isn't it?
- "please don't let this be true"I begged softly, to nobody in particular."oh fucking shit, please, I don't want this, I don't want this"I whimpered even softer, my voice cracking under the strain. When I looked up the floor seemed to stretch out ahead in all directions for miles, the walls looked as if they loomed above me at incomprehensible heights. The very place I called how now appeared frightening in it's enormity and I was smack dab in the center of it. This aching body was trembling all over, the tears flowing freely as terror managed a firm grip on me. I was exposed and vulnerable here. Without any conscious though I had scrambled into a niche formed by the space between one of the couches and a corner of the room, feeling a little more secure.
- "oh g-oh my-oh fuck, please I don't want to be like this!"I sobbed, trying to sit with my knees pulled up to my chest, an act I realized with no shortage of disgust that I could no longer perform with my new anatomy. I couldn't even freak out and wallow in self pity like a regular person anymore. I felt like that shouldn't have been I big deal, the least of my troubles at a time like this but at the same time it felt just as devastating to me.
- I eventually settled for curling up much like I'd seen cats and dogs do, the act sending waves of disgust that I was even capable of it. Just like everything today I didn't want it but making myself as small as possible offered me a sense of safety.
- None the less I cried my eyes out for what I'd lost. My body, my very humanity and my entire life gone in just one night! I sobbed and I begged and pleaded with nobody until I was reduced to heavy heaving and sputtering nonsense, all that time mentally cursing and hating myself. This went on with time having no meaning to me anymore.
- Seemingly hours later I was quiet, in an almost catatonic state, eyes glassy after the emotional turmoil I'd been through. There was nothing right now. No movement, no talking, barely any thoughts going through my mind. Utter silence,
- >I'm a dumb-ass.
- I didn't even notice the continued rumbling of my stomach anymore or my mouth once again going dry. Just silence. How was I supposed to deal with this. I'm not a persona anymore, I'm an animal. One that shouldn't even exist at that. I laid on my side, no longer curled up, what use was it, it's not like making myself smaller would change anything.
- >They say the chances of being struck by lightning are about 1 in 576,000. The chances of Winning the lottery: 1 in 176,000,000. Being killed by space debris: 1 in 5,000,000,000
- Somehow I though that Waking up an entirely different being over the course of one night was far more unlikely than all those things combined. kind of like the universe just up and deciding to give me a big ol' screw you. in my silence I tried to remember the previous night. So much was gone now.
- -Last night-
- "come on, you can't just sit here all night"Allen stood in front of me, hand on my shoulder.
- "yes I can!"I snapped, pulling back from him"Listen you made me come, so now I'm here but if I want to spend my time here alone then I will"
- "Anon, you've been holed up by yourself for three weeks now. You need to forget about her, she was a bitch anyway."
- "Allen, just leave me alone"I winced at the very mention of her, turning away from him.
- "c'mon, why not find yourself a loose girl and forget about her for tonight."he took a seat beside me. I knew he was trying to help me but I just didn't want it."look, I'll introduce you to Wendy"He pointed across the room to a short, thin red head, sporting what had to be the worlds tiniest shorts.
- I took a deep breath, my pain turning to a burning anger"You said I needed to get out, I'm out."I reiterated"I'm doing what you wanted now just leave. me. ALONE."Each word was dripping with venom when I spoke to him. I could see he didn't appreciate my tone. I almost though he would deck me or say something but all he did was get up and leave. I now sat alone. Just how I wanted.
- I hated to good mood everyone seemed to be in. I didn't even want to be here. SO I sat there, drinking in silence for a few hours feeling like shit. Drink, think, fiddle around with my home till it died. That is until he showed up.
- My memories starts going funny when he arrives. I know he carried the scent of baked bread with him, said his name was 'Shifter'. I remember the other two he invited besides me were Wendy and a wannabe artsy hipster who had paint on his pants. We went out by the alley to a van where he had everything we needed. I remember needing help, I was too drunk to find the vein in my arm. one of the clearer memories was watching the plunger go down on the murky mystery drug and that look on Shifter's face. A predatory, all to exited smile as he looked at all of us. Then I'm back inside,looking all over while trying to get Allen to bring me back home and he's telling me to fuck off.
- I had to get the bus home while my skin began to tingle and a migraine slowly started up. by the time I got home my skin was on fire and I ended up collapsing on the floor.
- The room was dimming now as the sun set outside. I'd sat here in my corner for hours just thinking. Sometimes about what I could Remember. Sometimes about the life I could no longer call mine or just plain regretting all the bad decisions I'd made that led up to this. What I though About more than anything was that dealer from last night, Shifter. Whatever he gave me has to have started all this. He's the one who changed me.
- >so maybe... maybe he could cure me.
- I felt a sliver of hope inside myself, an ember that things could go back to normal. If so I could get my body and my life back, this doesn't have to be permanent! I might be able to fix this.
- I heard the doorknob rattle for a second before the door swung open, drawing a surprised yelp from my mouth. Who just walks right into-
- "anon! Anon, you home?"Called a female voice, muffled footsteps going across the room"damn it anon, come get your clothes off the fl-EW! Ugh, why are they so sweaty!?!"
- >oh yeah, how the hell did I forget all about my roommate?
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