Sugar and Spice - Chapter IV: Back to Nature

Sugar and Spice
Chapter IV: Back to Nature

King River sat in the waiting room of a doctor's office, busying himself with one of the periodical scrolls he had found on the racks there. The sign above the main examination room read -Dr. Kuak, PhD-. After spending the better part of an hour trying to keep himself entertained with the latest developments in corn science, River heard the creak of a door. Marco Diaz walked out of the examination room, waving back at the doctor inside as he left. The King rose from his seat to greet Marco as he put the scroll back on a shelf. "Ah, Marco my boy. What did the royal physician have to say?"

"Oh, you know. Scratch and bite marks. Muscle strain. Pelvic bruising." Marco cringed slightly. "Friction burns."

River stroked his beard thoughtfully, looking Marco over. "Pretty well what we expected then, eh?"

"I guess. Dr. Kuak said it'll mostly just a matter of time to let myself heal naturally, but he gave me some topical stuff that seems like it helped some. At least I can walk again. Oh, and he gave me these..." Marco held out several vials filled with a sickly, green liquid. "He said it's some kind of healing elixir?"

River leaned in and squinted, studying the concoction closely. He almost felt sorry for Marco as he realized what he was looking at. "Ah... yes. Hold onto that. You'll need it soon enough."

Marco eyed the vials curiously, but shrugged, slipping them into an inner pocket of his hoodie for safekeeping. "So, what now?"

River motioned for the boy to follow, leading him out of the doctor's office and through the halls of the castle. "We're going to take a little trip, you and I. We need to get you someplace safe. Or at least safer."

He had a decent guess as to what River was trying to keep him safe from, but Marco felt he had more pressing concerns. He slowed his pace, falling behind River as he looked longingly down a hallway, one leading in the direction of his girlfriend's room. "But... what about Star?"

River looked genuinely concerned as he backtracked to Marco, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and continuing through the castle with him. "I'm worried about her too. But we have to trust that Glossaryck and her mother will take care of her. Well... her mother will, anyway." River gave Marco a serious look, pulling him away from the hall he had been staring down. "We need to get going as soon as we can, but is there anything you want to ask now?"

"... not really." There were a thousand things Marco wanted to KNOW, but absolutely nothing that he actually wanted to ASK. Especially of River. He remembered how on their previous earth based camping trip, River had expressed some concern over him being Star's boyfriend. Marco had never been entirely sure if River approved of the idea. It hadn't been true at the time, but now that it was, and now that they had been intimate, even if by accident... Marco was not optimistic about the conversation.

River opened one of the side doors leading out of the castle, where a carriage manned by one of the royal family's servants awaited them. "Well, I won't force you. But if we're not going to talk, then it's time to head out." River and Marco approached the carriage, opening the door and sitting down across from each other. "You should try to get some rest during the trip. Right now that's the best thing you can do for yourself, and for Star."

As the carriage started to move, Marco could feel it shaking beneath him. Apparently Mewni hadn't invented shocks yet. Not to mention that his head was still swimming with confusion over everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. "King River, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't really see myself getting much rest right now."

River nodded understandingly, then pointed at Marco's hoodie. "That medicine the doctor gave you? Now would be a good time."

Marco reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the vials, careful to keep it from spilling on the bumpy ride. He uncorked the strange brew, retching as the smell reached his nose, holding it as far away from himself as he could. "Blech! It smells like wet socks!"

River gave Marco a forceful look as he narrowed his eyes, reaching out and pushing the vial back toward him. "Just drink the elixir, lad."

"Ugh... fine." Marco held his nose, throwing the liquid down his throat, nearly vomiting as his tongue registered the taste before he swallowed. Despite his best efforts to avoid the flavor, it was quite possibly the worst thing he had ever tasted. "Aaaaaaaaaaand it also tastes like wet socks. What's IN this?"

Marco could swear he saw River crack a smile. "You probably don't want to know. Now, just sit back and relax. That will help you sleep, and heal faster. Don't worry, the trip will be over before you kn..."



Marco suddenly found himself returning to consciousness, not quite sure when he had lost it. As he started to regain his senses, he could feel someone prodding his shoulder, a familiar voice echoing in his ear. "Marco? Marco, wake up! We're here, my boy!"

"Mnh... King River?" As he started to rouse from slumber, he remembering starting to travel by carriage with King River, taking some medicine, and then suddenly nothing. Well, the King had definitely been right about it helping him sleep. "How long have we been traveling?"

"Quite a while. Not much farther to go now, but we'll have to finish the trip on foot." River jumped up from his seat, hopping down the carriage step as his servant opened the door for them. "No carriage can go where we're going."

Stepping out of the carriage after River, Marco found himself on the edge of a dense forest. Looking around, he noticed numerous warning and danger signs that had been stuck just outside. Terms like "turn back" and "beware" featured heavily. He couldn't tell offhand if they were the same ones from the Forest of Certain Death, but he wouldn't have been surprised if they were. River pulled a large pack from the rear of the carriage, which appeared to be jammed full of camping supplies. Marco checked for a pack of his own, but found nothing else in the carriage. River patted Marco on the back, grinning at him. "You won't need a pack today. Just let me take care things for now." Marco couldn't help but notice the gear only contained one sleeping bag. "Well then... let's be off."

River and Marco headed toward the tree line in silence. As they crossed over and gradually wandered deeper into the dark forest canopy, Marco found yet more hand painted signs warning of death and dismemberment. At this point, he was starting to fear for his own safety. A deep wood full of danger signs? Camping supplies for one? River finding out that his daughter had just accidentally spent the night with a boy he didn't even know she was dating? After a few more minutes of gruesome images running through his mind, he was sure he was about to snap. If he was going to die, he might as well just get it over with. "Soooooooo... I think maybe I do want to ask you something after all."

River didn't even break stride, continuing through the forest like he'd walked the path a thousand times. "By all means, my boy. I'm an open book!"

"King River, I know you were acting pretty understanding about everything that happened with Star and me, but..." He swallowed nervously, not sure how to ask what was on his mind. "Did you drug me and bring me to the woods to bury me in a shallow grave in a fit of fatherly rage?"

River suddenly turned and stared blankly at Marco for several seconds. Suddenly a snort broke through, and a chuckle, before building into a rising belly laugh. "Hah... Haha. HAH, AHHAAHHAH, AAHHHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" River braced himself against a tree, pounding a fist against it as he tried to compose himself. After finally managing to calm himself down, River wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. "Hoooo! I'll have to tell that one to Manfred. Of course not, Marco! Why in the world would you think a thing like that?"

Marco was rather embarrassed by River's reaction, but tried to keep his composure. "Because... because Star and I were... you know. Yesterday?"

River shook his head, giving Marco a sympathetic look. "You didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Believe me, I know."

Marco wondered if River would be upset that they had started dating well before that, but decided to quit that line of questioning while he was ahead. "What about all the warning signs we passed on the way here?"

"Oh, don't worry about those." River waved a hand dismissively. "Just something to scare off troublemakers."

As relieved as he was, Marco was nearly as confused. "So... this ISN'T the Forest of Certain Death?"

"I wish! No Marco, this..." River stepped forward, parting a dense hunk of foliage. He motioned for Marco to step through, and then followed behind. "... is the royal family's private campground in the Forest of Inevitable Relaxation, one of the most peaceful spots in all of Mewni!"

Marco's eyes went wide as he took in the scene that laid before him. The trees broke to reveal a wide, green, sunny clearing, already outfitted with a few tents and other camping equipment. Further on, Marco spotted a small waterfall feeding a pool below and on into a flowing stream, all full of crystal clear water. As he stepped further into the clearing, he could hear the sounds of insects and birds chirping around him with their tranquil songs. "It's BEAUTIFUL!"

"Well, if you like that sort of thing I suppose." As River entered the campsite, he was already removing his royal robes in favor of his formal camping attire, which in River's case meant his loincloth. "I wanted to take you on a hunt for a Narinthian Tar Beast, but my wife said you were in no shape for a REAL vacation. She can be such a worry wart..." Despite River's words, Marco detected a deep fondness in his tone. "So, she suggested we come here."

Marco was gradually starting to feel more at ease. He had always found camping relaxing, and he could certainly think of worse ways to spend a few days recovering from his ordeal. He looked at the King and gave him a warm, genuine smile. "Thanks, King River."

"Just River." He removed the crown from his head, setting it on a nearby stump. "There are no kings out here, Marco. Only two men in nature." River then pointed toward the nearby tents. "Under the circumstances, I sent a few servants ahead to get some things set up. But don't worry, I didn't let them have all the fun! Care to help me finish things up?"

"Definitely!" Whatever had been in the disgusting liquid that put him to sleep earlier, Marco found that it certainly helped take the edge off the soreness. While he was by no means fully recovered, he felt well enough to assist River in the lighter work of completing the camp site.

The pair spent the next few hours gathering firewood and setting up the extra gear River had brought. By the time they were finished, River noticed that Marco had worked up a decent sweat. He took a seat on one of the stumps that had been left around the central fire pit, and motioned for Marco to do the same. "Well Marco, I think we've earned a bit of a break. Is there anything you and I should discuss while we have the chance?"

Marco sat opposite from River on a stump of his own. He didn't really WANT to talk about recent events, but he did need some answers, and he wondered if River might have a point about asking while he could. Feeling as ready as he would ever be, he decided to take River up on his offer. "Can you tell me what really happened? I mean, I kinda figured out some of it, but I feel like there are still a lot of things I don't understand."

River nodded, leaning forward on his stump. "Of course. What do you want to know?"

Marco wasn't quite sure where to start, but something in their conversation with the Queen stuck out to him, "Star said something about Aphrodisia's chapter?"

"That's right. The details aren't important right now, but Star was looking at something in the Book of Spells that Glossaryck was supposed to keep her away from. It's, ah... well, it's pretty much what it sounds like." River scratched his head nervously, clearing his throat. "What you saw was a side effect of toying with it."

"Heck of a side effect..." Marco remembered how Star had appeared to him the previous night, floating out of a portal, completely mute and seemingly emotionless. "Is that why Star was that weird purple bug thing when she showed up yesterday? I thought maybe she was going through Mewberty again or something."

"Not quite, but not too far off either." River shook his head slowly. "Though for the sake of convenience, you can think of it as being a lot like Mewberty."

"Aaaaaaaaaaand, let me guess. We're all the way out here because, if we don't do something to stop it, it's going to happen again." Marco picked up a nearby rock, hurling it toward the water in frustration. "Because apparently, that's just how my life works now."

River nodded slowly, giving Marco a look of deep sympathy. "Possibly. That's what Glossaryck and the Queen are trying to fix. If they fail, hopefully Star won't be able to find you here, or at least not right away. But I'm afraid there's no guarantee of anything."

Marco grumbled quietly, burying his face in his hands. "Great. Because the first time didn't make things weird enough." His body suddenly jerked as a thought struck him. "Wait, Star turned into that bug and came after me, all the way across dimensions? And you think she'd try to find me here? Back when she was going through Mewberty, she was trying to catch any guy she could get her hands on." Marco rubbed his chin, sure that he was onto something important, but he was left with a strange gap. "Why ME?"

"Why indeed." River sat in silent contemplation for a few moments, giving Marco a chance to mull over the question. "Do you mind if I ask YOU something?"

"Huh? Oh... sure. What is it?" Marco wasn't sure what River had in mind, but he thought he wouldn't mind answering what he could.

"You know, it's the darndest thing, Marco. Star's been sneaking out of the castle even more than usual lately, especially at night. I'm used to her avoiding her mother like that, but not me." Sweat was already forming on Marco's brow as he listened to River, wondering if River had figured out how much time he and Star had REALLY been spending together in the previous few weeks. "At first I thought maybe she was going just clubbing, but now I'm starting to wonder if there might be something else going on. I don't suppose you two have, ah... been up to anything interesting?"

Marco could feel River's gaze boring into him from across the fire pit, a single eyebrow raised as he stared skeptically at him. Marco wondered if River might end up leaving his body in the woods after all. Even so, he hated to lie. He had promised Moon he would tell the truth, and he figured he owed the same to River. After River let him sweat for a little bit longer, he finally managed to squeak out a response. "Yes."

River's expression didn't shift in the slightest as he leaned further toward Marco. "As interesting as yesterday?"

Marco shook his head slowly, keeping his eyes locked on River and watching for sudden, possibly threatening movements. "No."

River narrowed his eyes slightly, and Marco could swear that the man was somehow staring into his soul. "Are you two... shall we say... courting?"

"That's... probably a good word for it." Marco swallowed hard, thinking he might have just made an odd choice of dying words.

"I see." River finally relaxed his posture, putting his hands straight out behind him on the stump and leaning back against his arms. "I wish you had said something sooner, but I know it's not an easy conversation at that age. Especially with somebody like my wi-" River suddenly stopped short, coughing a few times. "Well, nevermind. Anything else we should discuss?"

Marco still wasn't exactly comfortable being open with River about Star, but at least he was still alive. He decided to steer away from questions about his "courting" while he had the chance. Though, as he thought about it, the next path he was considering might be even more dangerous. One question in particular had been burning in his mind since the events began, and it was, to say the least, not an easy one. "Yeah. Yeah, there's something else I need to ask about. It's something I probably should have asked the doctor, but I didn't really know how. And I think asking you might be even worse. But it's kiiiiiiiind of important."

Looking surprisingly unperturbed, River casually leaned forward on his stump, almost like he knew what was coming. "Yes Marco?"

Marco took a deep breath, trying to compose himself before speaking. "River... after yesterday, is there any chance Star could be... p... preg-"

"No."

"OH THANK GOD!" Marco's entire being suddenly felt lighter than a feather, as though River had just lifted the entire weight of the world off his shoulders.

"Not unless you're a Mewman, anyway. This isn't the first time a Butterfly has pursued someone from outside the kingdom. There have been demons, mermen, and others. I can't say I understand all the details, but there's something about that transformation that means there won't be any children except with another Mewman." River paused for a moment, looking over Marco as if evaluating him. "But depending on the partner, that's not necessarily true under normal circumstances. Just something to keep in mind. Not that it would ever come up, I'm sure." To Marco's surprise, River's last sentence sounded more ironic than threatening.

Marco nodded slowly at River. With everything that had happened in the past day, he wasn't exactly in a hurry for anything else to "come up". But he would have taken precautions in any case, if it ever came to that.

Seeing his relief, River smiled wide at the boy from across the fire pit. "Well then, is that a load off your mind?"

Marco was more relaxed than he had been since his encounter with Star, feeling like he had just been stepped up to the gallows, only to be pardoned and given a gift basket. "You have NO idea."

"Of course I do!" River chuckled softly at Marco. "There's no one in the world who understands what you're going through better than me. I had this same conversation with my own father in law, and believe me, I know how difficult it is to talk about." River rose from his stump, crossing the center of the camp to take a seat next to Marco, putting a hand on his shoulder. "But I promise, you can say anything to me. Don't be afraid."

Marco was finally starting to feel a little better about his situation. At least he had somebody he could talk to about it. Somebody who had been FAR more understanding than he had expected. He thought for a moment, wondering just what else he wanted to know, until he remembered what he had really been trying to figure out since late the previous night. "How am I supposed to feel about all this?"

"How DO you feel?" The speed of his response made Marco think River might have expected the question.

"I don't know." Marco leaned over, burying his face in his hands. "I'm feeling... everything. Nothing. It's like I'm feeling so many things at once that my brain can't handle it all. But the more I think about it, the more I think I'm not as okay as I thought I was. Star kinda wasn't exactly gentle... in any sense of the word."

River gave Marco a comforting pat on the back. "Being troubled about it doesn't make you weak. You've been through something very strange, and very difficult." When he got no response, River sighed, and spoke in a near whisper. "She'd never do anything to hurt you. You know that."

"I know. And I know she never meant for any of this to happen." Marco had never even considered that Star had done this to him on purpose. From the moment he saw her bug form the previous night, he could tell Star wasn't in her right mind. "I'm not mad at her or anything. Just really, really, REALLY confused. At first, I thought..." Marco stopped short, reconsidering what he was about to do. "You're sure I can say ANYTHING? Because I really don't think you'll like the next part." River nodded, gesturing for him to continue.

"I... was kind of hoping Star and I would have our first time together." Marco was scared to look up, but when he did, he found that River looked significantly less surprised, and less angry, than he had expected. Marco paused, thinking River might say something, but he continued after a few seconds of silence. "I guess it sort of was. But it sort of wasn't, either. Everything about how it happened feels... weird. Wrong. We did kinda talk about it once before, and we said... well, definitely not yet. The way it went wasn't anything like I was expecting. Nothing about it felt right. But the worst part is... it's like it wasn't really even her. I don't know how to explain it. It was like... like..."

"Like looking at your best friend and seeing the face of a stranger?"

Marco was surprised at how accurate the comparison was. As he sat quietly with River, he felt like he'd finally let out everything he could. For now, only had one more question. "What do I do now?"

River looked up at the sky, noting the position of the sun. He thought Marco had gotten enough out of his system for the time being. "Right now, Marco, you can help me catch some fish before it gets too dark. It's getting close to dinner time."

"Huh. Yeah, okay. That actually sounds pretty good." After pouring out so much of his heart, Marco thought maybe he could use a distraction, and he had always found fishing to be calming. Besides that, he WAS starting to get hungry.

"Good! You taught me how to fish on earth, and I thought it was high time I return the favor. Buuuuuuuut..." River pointed down at Marco's clothes. "You might be a bit overdressed for this one." Marco groaned in frustration, resigning himself to his fate as he went to change into his loincloth.

A few minutes later, River and Marco were wading into the stream that flowed out from the waterfall pool. "Right, so. The most common fish in these waters are Mewni rainbow trout. Usually pretty docile, but sometimes you'll get a nibbler. Just watch for the shadow moving beneath the water, and..." River thrust a hand into the stream, pulling up small fish covered in a multitude of bright scales. Just as River had said, it appeared to be a literal rainbow trout, with seven distinct bands of color running across its body. River waited for the fish to stop struggling, then took it over a water bucket he had left on the shore. "There, you see? Give it a try! We'll have dinner over the fire before you know it."

Marco waded a bit deeper into the stream, feeling fairly confident in his fishing abilities. "That doesn't look so hard." Marco smiled, taking a deep breath to prepare himself. As he watched the water, he noticed something moving underneath. He drew his hand back, then jammed it into the water, feeling his hand catch the shadow. "Gotcha!" He started to pull it from the stream, finding only a fin in his hand as the creature rose out of the water... and continued rising. By the time it had mostly surfaced, Marco found himself staring down a very angry looking Mewni rainbow trout the size of a large dog. "Uh-oh."

River watched him from the shore, clapping and cheering. "Well done, Marco! You've got yourself a big one!"

The fish was less pleased. Marco didn't know that fish on Mewni could growl, but he was sure that's what he heard from this one. The fish started tearing around the water pool, taking Marco with him as he held on for dear life. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

"Oh, you look like you've got things under control. I'm going to get the cooking fire started." River waved to Marco, and started heading back toward the center of the camp. "Come join me when you've slain the beast!"

If Marco had learned about nothing else in the past few days, it was how to survive a high stakes wrestling match. After a round of intense combat, Marco had managed to tire out the fish and drag it on to dry land, where it finally gave up the struggle. He carried it back to River, who beamed at him with pride as they gutted and prepared the lunker, throwing pieces of it on the fire. After Marco went and changed back into his hoodie and other usual clothes, the pair ate mostly in silence, but not an uncomfortable silence. The two felt no real need for words as they simply enjoyed the sounds and majesty of nature.

It was nearly sunset by the time they finished dinner. Seeing the Mewni sun start to dip below the cliff that carried the waterfall, Marco sat down by the pool to watch, leaning his back against a tree, with River lighting a tobacco pipe beside him. "Marco... can I ask you something else?" Marco's eyes stayed fixed on the sunset, giving a single nod. "What WERE you expecting?"

"From... oh. Oh!" Marco cupped his hands behind his head, relaxing against his chosen tree. "Man, I don't even know anymore. Something more romantic, I guess? Maybe with some smooth jazz?"

River gave the boy a sly grin, prodding him in the side with his elbow. "You really weren't prepared for this, were you?"

"Not even close. Well... uhm... at least I don't think very close." River couldn't help but notice that Marco was starting to look a little nervous, squirming and stammering as he spoke. "I- I mean, look. Hypothetically, right? If a Mewni girl lets a boy touch her wings..."

River's expression was one of slightly forced calm as he clapped a hand against Marco's shoulder. "It would probably be something they shouldn't let her mother find out. And her father wouldn't necessarily want to know the details. I mean, just in case her mother would ever question him about it."

Marco cleared his throat, nodding. "O- okay." This time, Marco figured he should quit while he was behind. "River... why are you so much cooler about this than Queen Moon?"

River scratched his head, briefly seeming at a loss for words. "Well, you know Moon Pie. She worries about Star. She's trying to keep her from making some of the mistakes she did at that age."

"Mistakes?" Marco eyed River curiously, wondering what exactly he meant by that.

"Sometimes passion drives people to do things they shouldn't, or at least things they aren't ready for." River paused, taking a few puffs from his pipe before continuing. "It can make life very complicated, as I'm sure you've learned."

Marco sat quietly for a few seconds, starting to put two and two together. "Is that what happened to the two of you with Aphrodisia's chapter?"

"I don't think my wife would appreciate me telling stories, but..." River stroked his beard in thought before continuing. "Even though something similar happened to us, let's just say I wasn't quite as unprepared as you were." Marco looked at River with surprise, opening his mouth to speak, befor River raised a hand and cut him off. "Don't misunderstand me though. There's never been anyone else. Physically, mentally, spiritually, Moon is the only woman I've ever loved... or ever will."

"Wow." Marco sat back up, seeing great affection in River's face as he spoke of his wife. "That sounds... amazing."

Silence then overtook the two until it became nearly unbearable, at least for River, as he tried to force out a question he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. Even if, in truth, he already had a good idea of the answer. "What about you, Marco? Do you love my... do you love Star?"

Marco looked up beyond the sun and simply stared at the sky for several seconds, gathering his thoughts, not even looking River as he finally spoke. "River, I don't even know how to answer that. I'm 14. For a really long time, I thought I loved this girl named Jackie." River remembered how Star had mentioned Marco briefly dating another girl, and how relieved she seemed when she told him that they had broken up. "Now though... it's like that's nothing next to how I feel about Star. I really care about her. A lot. She's way more than just my best friend. Still... I don't know if I can say I love her."

"Hm." River took a puff on his pipe, turning once again toward the sunset. It was, he thought, a fair answer to an unfair question.

"But..." River glanced at Marco out of the corner of his eye, finding a small smile on his face, eyes shining with deep warmth. "I think I'm starting to."

River set his pipe aside, letting out a nearly imperceptible sigh. "She's a wonderful girl. A royal beauty. She could have had anyone she wanted. Prince Tom. That, ah... Oskar fellow." River turned directly toward Marco, pointing a single finger him. "And she chose you. Only you." He gave Marco a serious look, putting a single hand on his shoulder and turning the boy fully toward him. "Take good care of her."

Marco's smile grew just a little wider, gazing back at River. "I will."

They both turned back toward the waterfall, the sun finally dipping out of sight as they sat in silence for a short while, until it was eventually broken by River. "Well, it's getting late. Probably time for us to turn in. Why don't you go ahead and douse the fire? I'll be with you as soon as I finish this pipe."

"Yeah, okay." Marco rose and stretched, turning to head back toward the center of the camp.

As he walked away, he heard River mumbling something that sounded to him like gibberish. "Baloo balee, baloo balow..."

It didn't take Marco long to put out the campfire, but River remained by the pool for a while longer. Marco guessed it was quite a bit longer than it took to smoke a pipe. When he eventually returned, he waved Marco over and pointed out one of the tents that had been set up before they arrived. "Let me show you to where you'll be sleeping. It's already been prepared with everything you'll need, just in case, well... in case Star shows up."

Marco didn't care to dwell on the thought any more than necessary, but he figured it couldn't hurt to be ready. "Oh... okay. That's probably a good idea, I guess."

"Sorry about there not being a change of clothes for you. My wife will be here with those and other supplies first thing in the morning. It was hard to find anything in your size on such short notice. But you do have this!" River opened the tent and stepped toward a plain looking bed in the center, placing a hand on it and bouncing the mattress up and down. "Comfortable, yet magically reinforced and nearly unbreakable!"

Considering how spacious the tent was, Marco found it surprisingly bare. In fact, it was completely empty other than the bed. He poked his head in through the tent opening, not exactly sure what to make of the spartan accommodations. "River, I really appreciate everything today, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but... that's it? No silk sheets? No scented candles?"

River let out a small chuckle, slapping Marco on the back as he came out of the tent. "Oh Marco, you won't need any of that! It's not like you two will be making love. This is pure, raw, animal fu-" River stopped suddenly, holding up a hand and scanning the skies for something Marco didn't see. "She's here."

"Here? Like, HERE here?" Marco looked toward the sky in a panic. He hadn't been entirely certain whether this plan would work, but he had at least hoped it wouldn't fail so quickly. He still couldn't see anything, but he thought he might have heard the sounds of large insect wings buzzing in the breeze. And getting closer. "I thought we had more time!"

"And yet here we are." River placed his hands on Marco's shoulders, looking him dead in the eye. "Good luck." With that, River gave Marco a firm shove into the tent. He looked up toward the sound of his daughter's wings, only to find her hovering overhead, her eyes locked with his. Before long, her gaze turned toward the tent, thermal vision detecting her prey within.

While she was distracted, River made a low dash for cover behind the stump where he had placed the crown. He peered out from behind it and watched as Star approached the camp site, coming in for a landing just outside the tent and opening the flap.

"Oh no. No, nonononononono, noooooooooo... no!" River heard crashing and thumping coming from inside the tent and saw Marco try to run out, only for a purple hand to reach out and pull him in again by the back of his hoodie, which already had several rips in it. "STAR! No means NO!" River continued watching in horror as Marco tried to claw his way out of the tent on the ground, now sporting a few bruises. He spotted River, giving him pleading look, making it only a few more feet before he was dragged back inside. "I NEED AN ADULT!"

"I'm not an adult!" River cupped his hands over his mouth, shouting toward the tent. As he heard the sounds inside escalating, he decided it was time for him to leave. He grabbed his crown and ran until he was well clear of the campsite, eventually settling on a tree to spend the night in once he got out of earshot. River climbed high into his chosen refuge for the night and got himself situated, clasping his hands behind his head with a smile and starting to drift off to sleep. "Ah, to be young again..."



The next morning, Moon and Glossaryck approached the tent to survey the damage. As they reached the entrance, Moon called out to the occupants. "Star? Marco? Are you in there?"

Star blinked slowly as Moon's call roused her from her slumber, letting out a yawn as she started to wake up. "Ugh... mom?"

Moon decided to remain outside the tent for the time being, not sure if everyone inside had gotten a chance to make themselves decent. "Good morning sweetie." Moon cleared her throat in hesitation, already knowing the answer to what she was about to ask. "How, ah... how did things go?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeah, about that." She looked beside her to find a sleeping Marco, bottom half covered by a blanket, top half covered in scratches and bruises. "Things definitely... went."

Moon closed her eyes, rubbing her temples in frustration as she looked to the small blue figure floating beside her. "Glossaryck... you had ONE job."

"What can I say? She gave me the Freudian slip." Glossaryck shrugged dismissively, as though simply refusing responsibility for the events.

Moon shook her head in disbelief. "How did she even find him this far out?"

Glossaryck looked up at Moon, raising a single eyebrow. "You mean you couldn't smell his cheap cologne all the way from the castle?"

"Glossaryck..." Moon narrowed her eyes threateningly at him.

Glossaryck gave the Queen an exasperated sigh. "Why are you even asking me? Thermal vision, pheromones... all the tricks you used to find River back when he was the one on the menu. What, you honestly thought you could keep them apart with this little game of hide and seek?"

Moon growled low in her throat, completely uninterested in having this conversation again. She turned back toward the tent, calling out to her daughter. "Star, is Marco still in there with you?"

"Yeah, he's here." Star turned back to Marco, putting a hand on one shoulder and trying to gently shake him awake. "Marco... hey, Marco, wake up. Marco? MARCO! Uh-oh." Star's eyes went wide with fear as Marco laid stone silent. "Mom... I think I killed Marco."

"River said Marco got some of Dr. Kuak's elixir. He must have taken it, erm..." She wasn't quite sure how to put it politely. "... afterwards. He might sleep for a while longer."

"Ohhhhhhh. I thought I smelled wet socks." Star wiped the nervous sweat from her forehead, relieved that she hadn't completely broken her boyfriend. "Wait, is dad here?"

"Your father is packing up the camp. In the mean time, I brought you some clothes. Marco too." The tent flap unzipped slightly, and Moon slid a stack of neatly folded clothes through, with one of Marco's hoodies resting on top. "I found these in your closet... for some reason."

The was tone of suspicion in the last few words that Star feared. Had Glossaryck said something? She knew how persuasive her mother could be, but she felt betrayed that Glossaryck had broken her trust like that. "GLOSSARYYYYYYYYYYYCK! You promised not to tell my mom that I took my clothes off for Marco!"

"Hubba-hubba-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?" Moon violently ripped open the tent flap as she burst inside, completely destroying the zipper beyond repair.

Glossaryck floated in behind her, slapping a palm against his forehead and dragging it down his face. "I didn't."

Slowly, nervously, Star's eyes shifted from Glossaryck back toward Moon, as she began to sweat bullets. She couldn't blame this one on Aphrodisia's chapter, and she wasn't sure how understanding her mother would be if she found out about the recent wing massage, but now she had her back to a wall. "... I can explain."

Glossaryck fixed Star with a dull gaze, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Can you though?"

Moon and Star shot him a death glare in unison, with Moon leaning over him intimidatingly. "And what do YOU know about this?"

Glossaryck looked up nervously at Moon and snapped his fingers, conjuring a zipper over his lips, which he immediately dragged across his mouth before floating backward out of the tent.

Moon opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off as she and Star heard Marco beginning to stir. Before even opening his eyes, he felt like he had been run over by a giant invisible goat. He somewhat painfully stretched and yawned, rubbing the sleep away as he slowly opened his eyes, which went gradually ever wider as he scanned his surroundings. He turned toward Star as she squirmed nervously in the bed next to him, face filled with concern as she tugged the blankets to cover her bare body. "Oh." Looking to the floor, he once again found his clothes in tatters. As before, Star's were removed but mostly intact. "Oh..." Marco's eyes continued to sweep the room, and his gaze eventually met Moon, who was watching him with a mixture of disappointment and grudging acceptance. "Oh no." He cringed and waved to the Queen, smiling nervously. "Hi... Queen Moon."

Moon gave Marco a cold glare in response, not exactly angry, but clearly far from happy with the situation. "Hello Marco." She turned and started to walk out of the tent with a soft sigh. "Just... get dressed and get out here. I'll be waiting." After she exited, she suddenly turned back and poked her head through the ruined tent flap. "And no peeking! Either of you." Moon narrowed her eyes as she slowly slid her head backwards of out the tent, closing it behind her as best she could given the broken zipper.

Star and Marco exited a few minutes later, fully dressed for whatever came next. Marco put a hand over his forehead and looked up to find the sun much higher in the sky than he had expected. "Wait, what time is it?"

Moon looked at the sky with him, squinting at the bright summer sun. "Oh, about mid morning I suppose. What does it matter?"

"Uh-oh. My parents got back home from vacation this morning. And I didn't leave a note! I always leave a note!" Star and Moon could both tell that Marco was starting to panic. "They probably think I got kidnapped again or something! Queen Moon..."

Moon nodded to Marco, giving him her blessing. "Do what you have to do, but do it quickly. Star, go with your father and Glossaryck back to the castle. Marco, meet us back there as soon as you can. I have to go get some things ready. There's one more place you might be safe."

Marco took the dimensional scissors he had retrieved from his old hoodie, opening a portal back to earth. Before leaving, Marco turned to say goodbye Star, who he was surprised to find was on the verge of tears. Star couldn't even look him in the eye. She couldn't believe she wasn't able to stop herself from hurting Marco... and now he had to be torn away from her again.

Seeing her disturbed state, Marco stepped away from the portal. As he approached Star, he knew he wanted to say something, but found himself at a loss for words. Instead Marco simply reached his arms out and wrapped them around her, pulling Star tight against his body. To her immense relief, she sensed no fear or anger from her lover as she returned the gesture, slipping her own arms around Marco. She nuzzled gently into his neck, a wave of happiness washing over her as she basked in his comforting warmth.

Moon rather pointedly cleared her throat, and when the teens looked up they found her giving them a stern look as she gestured toward the portal. Marco grudgingly stepped away from his partner, walking toward the gateway back to his home.

Marco waved a goodbye to Star, and stepped though the portal alone.