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- >Day 5 of buzzy baby bouncing ball p0nies in Equestria.
- >Due to your accidental splattering of Twilight, the spell on the p0nies hasn’t been removed.
- >In fact, quite a few of them are adjusting quite well to their new, low-down take on life.
- >They prefer being tiny.
- >They eat less, and they claim that lungs are the enemy.
- >They protest outside Twilight’s library, saying that lungs simply make them a target for some Fractured Flow guy.
- >You have no idea what they’re talking about.
- >You just want things to go back to normal.
- >After you got raped by Cutiejack when she was derpy she apologised to you.
- >She was fine the next day.
- >Unfortunately, so was Fluttershy.
- >She also came to apologise and guess your fetish.
- >At least she can’t break into your house now.
- >She’s just too small and weak.
- >It makes you smile to hear her slam against the solid wood of your door.
- >Today though, you need to go into town to brave the insanity and pick up some food.
- >So you get on with your morning routine.
- >Triple S rank, baby!
- >You head downstairs and get your breakfast of Luna-charms.
- >They’re the breakfast cereal of your dreams!
- >When you’re done munching on the delicious marshmallow moonbutts you stride open to the door and open it.
- >A very tired looking Flutterfly is hovering at head height woozily.
- >”Wuzzat... Oh! Hi, Anon! You finally opened the door! I-“
- >You slap her out the way.
- >Her squishy, tiny body provides no resistance to your well trained backhand.
- >Sometimes you just gotta smack a bitch.
- >Unfortunately she usually recovers pretty quickly from your regular assaults, and soon enough you hear her buzzing wings chasing after you.
- >”A-anon! You accidentally slapped me again!”
- “Uh, yeah... I must not have seen you.”
- >”Oh, that’s alright... I know I’m pretty small now...”
- “What do you want, Fluttershy?”
- >You carry on walking as you barely give her your attention.
- >”W-well I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date tonight...”
- >Wait, it’s not a fetish attempt?
- >Has this girl finally learned?!
- >Not that you particularly want to stick your dick in the crazy, but you should encourage this kind of behaviour!
- >At the very least, you’ll get a free dinner out of it or something.
- “Where to?”
- >”Alpaca bowl.”
- “I don’t smoke weed. Where are we going?”
- >”Alpaca bowl.”
- “You don’t need to. I don’t do drugs.”
- >”N-no! It’s a bowling alley!”
- >A bowling alley?
- >Awesome! You haven’t gone bowling in forever!
- “Yeah, sure, Fluttershy. I’ll see you later, ok?”
- >Her face lights up like a kid getting an N64 for Christmas.
- >”Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!”
- >Aaaaand she’s passed out.
- >She flops to the floor.
- >Eeeeh... She’ll be fine.
- >You carry on with your daily activities.
- >You’re gonna smoke those p0nies at bowling later.
- >You stand outside the bowling alley.
- >You look at the neon sign.
- >Fluttershy wasn’t lying.
- >The name of the place is “Alpaca Bowl.”
- >It has a gigantic neon Alpaca head next to the words just to drive the point home.
- >You stand and stare some more.
- >You can’t believe you didn’t figure this out earlier.
- >”Come on, Nonny! I wanna go!” Pinkie Pie screams, hopping around your legs.
- >”Yeah, come on tough guy! Show me what those fingers are good for!” Rainbow Dash yells into your ear.
- >”Oh, yes... I’m sure you’d love to see what Anon can do with those long, dextrous fingers of his...” Rarity quips.
- >Rainbow Dash blushes.
- >”I mean- Arrrgh! Let’s just get inside!”
- >Fluttershy invited all the girls along for this “date.”
- >You’re not complaining, but you don’t think she quite grasps what a date is.
- >The poor girl has a lot to learn about relationships.
- >You walk into the bowling alley and immediately regret it.
- >The entire place is snow themed.
- >Tacky white plastic adorns the tops of all the furniture, giving the illusion of “snow” or as you see it, frosting.
- >It looks like everything is one of Pinkie’s delicious, yet extravagant cakes.
- >Or if you prefer, semen.
- >The second thing you notice is the reason why everything is snow themed.
- >The staff of the Alpaca Bowl are all, unsurprisingly, Alpacas.
- >Except because of Fluttershy’s ball spell, they look like Tribbles.
- >Surfer stoner Tribbles.
- >”Whoooooa, far out! You’re totally hip, dude!”
- >”Man, you’re freakin’ radical!”
- >”Awesome look, bro! I’m totally diggin’ it!”
- >You didn’t think you’d end up contemplating suicide on the set of a Bill and Ted movie, but now that you look back on your life, you realise it was inevitable.
- >You just expected time travel to be more involved with your demise, that’s all.
- >You walk up to the reception desk and are greeted by the tiny hairball that’s running the place.
- >”Hey, man! You’re looking totally fantabulous today! Welcome to the Alpaca Bowl! Don’t ask us for a doobie though, winners don’t do drugs.”
- “You’re telling me you’re all sober?”
- >”Nah, man! We’re just high on life!”
- >That or glue, you suspect.
- “Yeah, uh... We need a lane.”
- >”Oh, man! That’s so, like, coincidental! We have loads of those! This is, like, totally super mega destined or something!”
- >You resist the urge to facepalm.
- >You suspect that if you do, you might do it with such fail induced rage that you’d take your head clean off.
- >And then Fluttershy would be free to rape your corpse.
- “Yeah, so... Can we have one?”
- >”Well, I’m not sure I should give you one like that... But you seem like a cool dude, so sure! Lane 13 is yours, bro! Come back whenever you like! I promise you’ll have a totally tubular time!”
- >Wait, did this guy just give you ownership of one of his lanes?
- >You’re speechless at this creature’s sheer stupidity.
- >Just smile and nod, Anon. Smile and nod.
- “Can I get some shoes?”
- >You realise after you say that, that they probably don’t have shoes for humans.
- >”Oh, sure! Let me just check in the back!”
- >The little puffball sprouts four tiny legs.
- >He inches himself slowly around in a circle.
- >You stand there awkwardly as he struggles to turn himself around.
- >Instead of walking off, though, he completes a full revolution.
- >By the time he’s facing you again, he has a pair of bowling shoes in your size in his mouth.
- “HOW THE HELL DID YOU-“
- >”MAGIC!” Pinkie Pie shouts.
- >The alpaca just sits there with a goofy grin on his face.
- >You snatch the shoes away from the logic defying creature and stomp off to your lane.
- >Lane 13.
- >You’re not superstitious, but you need all the luck you can get with Fluttershy around.
- >So this does not bode well.
- >Regardless, the girls and you put your names into the computer.
- >Anon thankfully fits into the tiny, four-letter space that they give you.
- >Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle just put their initials in.
- >AJ struggles to use the keyboard.
- >”What’s all these fancy buttons mean?”
- >You graciously help her out.
- >Rarity is incensed that her name is just too long to fit in.
- >”SIX LETTERS IS A PERFECTLY REASONABLE LENGTH!”
- >You just let her fume in the corner.
- >Pinkie Pie slams her face on the keyboard.
- >You’ve seen her do this trick before.
- >Unfortunately for her this time, it seems that all she gets is a jumble of letters.
- >”Oh phooey! I typoed!”
- “What could ‘jxle’ possibly be a typo of?”
- >”Anything is a typo! It’s just a really bad one!”
- >She’s got a point there.
- >Fluttershy is next.
- >She stuns you with her rapier wit and puts ‘Dick’ in the console.
- >She’s not really very subtle.
- >Now that you’re all set up, you’re ready to bowl.
- >You pick a ball and take your position.
- >You send the ball spinning down the alley.
- >You got 7 pins on your first throw!
- >Not bad, but you can do better.
- >Next up is AJ, and there’s a problem.
- >The girls have quickly found out that in their new bodies, they aren’t particularly fit for purpose.
- >The balls are bigger than themselves.
- >You ask one of the staff members for a child rack.
- >It’s a thin metal structure that is supposed to help kids aim their shots and bowl if the balls are too heavy for them.
- >The girls agree that it’s a good idea, and you set it in place for them.
- >You place Applejack’s ball at the top of the ramp and place her behind it.
- >”Whoa, nelly... This is pretty high!”
- >Rainbow Dash swoops over, sensing an opportunity to taunt her rival.
- >”What’s the matter? Afraid of heights?”
- >”Ah’m an earth p0ny! Ah’m meant to be on the ground!”
- >”Pfft... This is nothing! I go higher than this in my sleep!”
- >”That’s because you live in a cloud mansion, you feather brain!”
- >”Girls, please! Get on with your shot! You’re holding us up!” Twilight interjects.
- >Twilight always was the voice of reason.
- >AJ turns away from Rainbow Dash and faces the ball.
- >She pushes it with her forehooves.
- >It barely budges.
- >She strains with all her might.
- >Still nothing.
- >Frustrated, she turns around and does to the ball what she does to all her problems.
- >She bucks it.
- >The ball goes flying through the air and bounces down the alley.
- >It barely finds any time on the ground to roll and ends up bouncing clear over the pins.
- >Rainbow Dash bursts out in laughter.
- >”YOU MISSED!”
- >”Ah, shucks. What are the odds o’ that happenin’?”
- >You wonder that yourself.
- >This lane is starting to give you the heebie jeebies.
- >Maybe it’s cursed or something.
- >Next up is Fluttershy.
- >Ahem... Dick.
- >If Applejack struggled to push the ball, you don’t know how she’s going to manage.
- >You load her up and stand back to watch the carnage.
- >She initially seems quite confused as to how she’s going to push it.
- >She tries giving it a buck like Applejack did.
- >It doesn’t even deem her efforts worthy of acknowledgement.
- >She turns around and looks up at the gargantuan marble orb.
- >She looks so sad now – she’s given up.
- >She just stares at it as tears form in her eyes.
- >Spontaneously the ball rolls down the ramp and plows itself into the pins.
- >A strike.
- >”GNARLY!” The speakers blare at you.
- >It’s accompanied by the smiling face of an alpaca in shades on the monitor.
- >You are gobsmacked.
- >That ball just felt so bad for Fluttershy that it launched itself down the alley.
- >That’s not fair!
- >That’s just not fair!
- >The other p0nies just cheer her on as she takes her seat once more.
- >Next up is Pinkie Pie.
- >You load her ball, but when you get close to the ramp she waves you away.
- >”That’s not the fun way to play! This is!”
- >She tucks her legs underneath her and hops down the ramp.
- >She rolls all the way down the alley, squealing and giggling the entire time.
- >”WEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee...! *smash*”
- >She got a strike.
- >Seriously, how are these p0nies better than you?
- >They don’t even have fingers!
- >”RADTASTIC!” The smiling alpaca screams.
- >You want to kill the alpaca that recorded these lines.
- >His words are like nails on a surfboard.
- >Rainbow Dash is up next.
- >You load her ball up, but she flies all the way to the back of the hall.
- “Dash, it’s your turn! This is no time for snacks!”
- >She’s in the obligatory fast food diner part of the bowling alley.
- >A fuzzball in a paper hat greets her as she flaps slowly his way.
- >”Hey, babe! Welcome to Alpaca Bowl! Can I help make your day more extreme with some nachos?”
- >Rainbow Dash ignores him as she suddenly rockets towards the ball on the ramp.
- >”Whoa! Bogus, man! You almost knocked off my hat!”
- >Rainbow Dash is focused to intensely to pay any heed to his complaints.
- >Her wings pump furiously to propel her with as much force as she can muster.
- >Closer and closer she comes to her goal...
- >And she arrives with a *splat*.
- >Her squishy body carries no structural integrity with it, and instead of imparting her force on the ball, she pancakes on it.
- >She looks more like a blue sticker now more than anything.
- >The ball takes pity on her and rolls painfully slowly down the ramp and onto the alley.
- >It rolls in a perfectly straight line, keeping Dash in line with its path.
- >”Ow... Ow... Ow...”
- >It squashes her over and over again as it makes its slow progress to the pins.
- >When it reaches them it has almost lost all of its momentum.
- >It finally putters out when it reaches the first pin.
- >It nudges it slightly.
- >It topples out of courtesy.
- >Rainbow Dash has ended up on the bottom of the ball.
- >”Ow.”
- >The sweeper arm comes down and moves the ball and the pins out the way.
- >It takes a minute, but soon Rainbow Dash arrives in the ball return along with her ball.
- >”Oh my gosh, are you alright, Rainbow Dash?”
- >Twilight shows immediate concern for her safety.
- >Applejack is currently trying to stop her sides from escaping the building.
- >You chuckle as well, but peel her off the ball.
- >”I’m ok.”
- “Sorry Dash, but I think you’re going to have to sit this next one out.”
- >”Okay.” She wheezes.
- >You set her down on one of the seats and leave her to puff up on her own.
- >At least in this form the p0nies don’t really get hurt.
- >Next up is Rarity.
- “Rarity! Rarity? It’s your turn!”
- >Rarity is nowhere to be seen.
- >You search around... You can’t see her anywhere.
- >Then you look over to the reception desk.
- “OH COME ON!”
- >Rarity is quite clearly flirting with the alpaca running the desk.
- >”Oh my... I bet you could show me all the... special things you can do with your balls...”
- >“Oh, totally, babe! I love bowling!”
- >”I’d definitely let you alpaca my bowl...”
- >”Oh, bodacious! I’m really good at packing things! That used to be my old job!”
- >”Oh, I can tell you’re packing...”
- >You stomp over to Rarity and haul her away.
- “GODDAMMIT, RARITY! CAN’T YOU GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT FINDING SOMETHING TO STUFF IN YOUR MARSHMALLOW BUTTHOLE?!”
- >”No! I was so close! I had him in my grasp!”
- >You’re not sure that anyone was grasping anything back there.
- >The desk alpaca just stares into his fringe and keeps talking to the air.
- >Did he even know who he was talking to?
- >You slam Rarity back into her chair.
- >It seems that one of the other p0nies took her go.
- >You don’t particularly care.
- >Finally, Twilight is up to bat.
- >She waves off your offer of aid.
- >She uses her magic to levitate the ball onto the rack.
- >She uses her magic to adjust the ramp to the exact degree.
- >She even got her protractor out.
- >Finally, after about a minute of preparation, she’s ready to go.
- >”Alright! Now if my calculations are correct, I-“
- >*BANG*
- >Somehow, for some reason, a bowling ball comes out of nowhere and bounces sideways across the seating area.
- >It doesn’t hit anyp0ny.
- >Just Twilight.
- >It flattens her mercilessly and continues on its bouncing rampage.
- >It also knocks her meticulously adjusted stand out of alignment.
- >The ball on top of the rack takes this as its cue to make its descent.
- >It rolls down the misplaced ramp and straight into the gutter.
- >You can taste its disappointment.
- >”CAREFUL DERPY!”
- >”I just don’t know what went wrong...”
- >You look over to see where the rogue ball came from.
- >A grey Pegasus blob is getting scolded by an orange earth blob.
- >Well, that was unexpected.
- >Twilight springs up from the ground and regains her shape.
- >”Duh... Did I win?”
- >Her eyes aren’t point correctly again...
- “Uh... No.”
- >”omg u fukin noobz! hax!”
- >She stumbles back to her seat and sits down.
- >Being stable like that is probably the best thing for her right now.
- >Once again it’s your turn.
- >You reach for your ball and pick it up.
- >You slot your fingers in, and remark that it feels a little wet.
- >You line up your shot...
- >And realise that your ball has turned into Fluttershy.
- >You have your fingers in her nostrils and mouth.
- >She smiles a shit-eating grin at you from around your thumb.
- >You shrug.
- >You continue with your shot, this time putting extra power into it.
- >You release Flutterball down the alley and she collides with the pins.
- >You got a strike!
- >”TUBULACIOUS!”
- >You assume that means good.
- >Fluttershy comes up the ball return with a souvenir.
- >You threw her so hard that one of the pins got lodged in her.
- >It impales her right through her mouth and out her cunt.
- >You burst out laughing.
- >Your sides are moving on their own!
- >It takes a few seconds before you realise that you’re the only one laughing.
- >You look at the girls.
- >You have a blue Pegasus pancake.
- >A dizzy pink mare.
- >A disgruntled, frustrated marshmallow.
- >A derpy magic master.
- >An impaled Flutterfly.
- >And a very confused Applejack.
- >That, and you’re pretty sure this lane is cursed.
- “Girls, what do you say we all just go home?”
- >They all grunt in agreement.
- >You scoop them up in your arms and walk out into the cool evening air.
- >They all collectively shudder.
- >Rainbow Dash even pops back to her usual form.
- >”Say, Anon...”
- “Yes, AJ?”
- >”Um... It’s kinda chilly tonight... Mind givin’ us a ride?”
- “You sure you don’t mind?”
- >”Just don’t zip your jacket up so tight this time.”
- “Okay. If you say so.”
- >You open your jacket and place Pinkie and Rarity on your back.
- >Twilight and Rainbow Dash go on your sides.
- >You zip up the jacket mostly and place Applejack on your chest.
- >They all hug you tightly and wrap their hooves around your body.
- >Their squishyness makes them conform to you perfectly.
- >You can feel their body heat radiating against you.
- >You carry Fluttershy.
- >Her eyes are rolled back into her head as she orgasms silently.
- >Applejack looks up at you with those cute eyes of hers.
- >”Thanks, Anon. This was a great date.”
- >You smile and tuck her into your jacket.
- >Today was a warm day.
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