Application By the Books. (F4M) Humor

The Resume

Hello applicant.  Are you ready for your interview? Good.  Let's begin. May I see your resume? Thank you. We usually require resumes to be written in pen... Not crayon... I guess I'll let it slide this time... Umm.  First off umm what you wrote here under position applying for you wrote "Fucking Pimp Master" yea ... We are actually looking for a General Office Manager... Yeaaaa and this spot where your wrote "wid dat bitch wid da glasses? Hellz yea" that was just asking what sex you are... See you were just suppose to check male or female... Now I'm seeing a lot under qualification and none of it has to do with office work ... For example "crushin da pussy", "can fill up a magnum condom" and "can jerk off like a mo-fucka fo like 30 mins wid out bustin dat nut" arn't qualification we would be looking for... Umm you don't have a lot here under past employment ... "Workin dat ass" does not count I'm sorry.  There is one here at the bottom that is an actual establishment but after the contact number you wrote "if dat ho Lisa answer she a lying bitch"... Umm Ok so because of Human Resources I am legally obligated to say something positive during this interview so I am going to compliment what you wrote here under special interest "be fine wid working wid fags".  I like the sentiment but that is quite offensive.  Ok so this interview is over will you stop staring at my breasts now... And take your hand out of your pants... Ok I'm going to call security... (Pick up phone) yes hello we have an applicant masturbating in my office and I need him removed thank you... Ok so while we wait for security I would like to thank you for coming down and interviewing with us and we wish you good luck with you future employment ... Somewhere else... Somewhere far far away... Good bye