My Little Realities: C14 - Have Gun, Will Errands

My Little Realities: C14 - Have Gun, Will Errands

>you are intercepted by Vinyl Scratch on your way to the library
”’Sup Anon, I’ve been talking to some of my friends and they’re definitely interested.  More than that though, I’ve been lookin’ around and it seems that with all those monsters running around and all…  The folks around here are gettin’ all bummed.  I’m thinking some cool new beats could totally cheer them up”
”Yeah I think I like where this is going, we get some trade going and everypony wins, right?”
>p0nyville's morale could be boosted by a few songs, you decide to trade a small selection so you can at least pay back the cakes
”I’m gonna give you some more upbeat stuff.  I got a bit of dance, techno, dubstep, party music, easy listening stuff…  I’m sure you’ll find something in there to put some bite into your DJ mix.”
”Sounds good but… Ummm…  How exactly are you supposed to transfer the music over?” she asks
”I’m sure that won’t be so hard, where’s your recording equipment?”
”All in my basement right now, couple blocks away.  How about you come over tomorrow, we’ll figure something out”
>if you live long enough, you might make some pretty decent fucking coin selling this stuff
>it’s outright theft from artists, but this kinda situation...  Rather victimless crime anyhow.  If you went back to earth you might consider throwing some money at the bands you like most
>for now, whatever
>they could all sue you, for all you care
>YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, YOU’RE NOT AFRAID OF THOSE WOLFRAM AND HART FAGGOTS
>okay, let’s get back on track
>you're intercepted…  Again… By a small party of guards and some labcoat-clad ponies along with a couple ponies in overalls
>are you ever going to get to Twilight’s?
"Sir Anon, this is the Equestrian defense R&D field unit, at your disposal" says the head royal guard
>y helo thar
>they explain that you're apparently the leader of their weapons division now
>dream come true!  You’ll have to buy Celestia a beer…  Or whatever they drink here
>you spend a good while learning about their machinery, and working out what they can make
>things get a little complicated, you have a hard time getting unit equivalence, their standards are different, their units don't correspond
>you'll have to get a close equivalent with some sort of etalon and work from there
>also they aren't up to manufacturing par
>no high speed CNC machining for joo
>you'll also have some chemistry and metallurgy hurdles
>okay, so you won't be having them pump out a million cast polymer framed, alloy receiver autoloaders
>you brainstorm with them for a while
>thankfully, the perimeter and scout parties aren't reporting activity
>you can concentrate on doing what you’re half decent at; sciencey-mechanical gun stuff
>the Echo Hotel (Elements of Harmony team) is standing by
>seems they all met up for a picnic, by the looks of it
>good, they deserve it, and Twilight seems to be calming down
>you notice they all have some sort of trinket or jewelery with them.  Likely they're the aforementioned "Elements"
>you finally decide that you'll have to keep this weapons building simple, easy on logistics, and most of all ergonomically feasible for the common pone
>you decide that they'll have to employ a two-p0ny fireteam
>one has the saddle-mounted weapon, he aims and fires them while the second spots, manages ammunition and reloads the guns
>the guns...  With their metallurgy, you'll have to stay away from modern rifle pressures, no 60000 PSI rifle loads
>you still want a lot of damage, you're trying to kill those leafy bugs, not tickle them
>you have plans set up for flame units and punt-gun horses
>the flame units are pretty straightforward
>kill them with fucking fire
>you get their lab-coats working on something really fucking nasty
>NAPALM WILL STICK TO KIDS, EVEN IN EQUESTRIA
>yeah, fire is supper effective against grass pokemon, this is going to be awesome
>you wonder if some kind of herbicide would work
>just roll in there with seven canisters of CN-20 and nerve gas the whole nest
>in any case you were always a projectile man, so onto the projectiles…
>the punt gun horses are going to hold a pair of 2 gauge punt guns, half pound or so of shot from barrels that go from flank to past their heads
>each shell will fire 30 pellets, each twice the weight of 00 buckshot
>the long barrels will help shot pattern, velocity and also reduce blast to the p0ny's ears
>these shotguns would easily give anything within 100 yards a really bad day, that size of pellet and those barrels with a little choke will pretty much send a respectable shot pattern out past 80 yards
>the nice thing about shotguns is due to the large bearing surface of the powder to the projectile, it didn't need a lot of pressure to get a heavy payload going pretty fucking fast
>fuck yeah, straight walled cases
>easily done with black powder, these guns would deliver a good 1200ft/s with a half-pound of "fuck you" at a very gentle 15000 to 18000PSI, ensuring whatever steel they could come up with for the barrel and action would not be under too much stress
>ammunition would be simple to make, the chemistry isn't complicated
>recoil would be absorbed by the saddle mount over the whole p0ny's back, so they shouldn't get hammered too much
>the guns might take a smaller p0ny for a ride if one of them fires both at once, but they should be fine
>you discuss various manufacturing options with your team
>you explain to them a simple external hammer falling block action that will be easy to operate with the proper levers, even for a p0ny
>you mention that whatever they can find or make in terms of explosives, propellants and things that burn and stick to [s]kid[/s]stuff while burning is good and you want to see it
>they say they will come up what they can get their hands on or make, as well as plans for the weapons.
>you're still concerned about Twilight, but you don’t know where she is now
>you spot Applejack walking across town
>you call out to her
"Hey, Applejack?  Picnic already over?"
"Anon, that was done like three hours ago"
>you did get pretty caught up with the R&D team...
"...  Right.  Well do you have a minute, I had some questions"
"Shoot, sugarstick"
>you mentally raise an eyebrow at her nickname for you.  You'd heard her call ponies "sugarcube"...  It's true that you didn't fit into the "cube" category; you were more of a stick-figure
>not that you didn't have meat on your bones, but compared to a p0ny you were kinda lanky
>sugarstick just sounded dirty
>teheheheh penis
>you guess the ponies were generally innocent enough to not really make that connection
>anyhow
"it's about Twilight.  I'm worried, she seems really upset over something and I wanted to know what was going on."
"yeah, she's a mite upset over somethin' alright...  Ah'll be honest with ya Anon, ah think yew should talk to her 'bout it."
"you're right, I guess I shouldn't go behind her back like this..."
"anyhow, what were y'all talking about back there, with that important lookin' bunch?  If ya don't mind mah askin' of course"
"we were trying to find ways of making weapons to defend against those "Root" alien things..."
"weapons eh?  Granny Smith always said “weapons was just a fancy-shmancy word for a tool that gets an unpleasant job ta do, you just gotta make sure ya at least use it fer a good purpose...”  Well if ah can help ya out in any way fer that, just holler and ah'll do whatever ah can"
>fancy name for a tool, eh?  Applejack's got a head on her shoulders
"sure thing 'Jack, that's much appreciated.  So where is that purple unicorn anyhow?"
”Ah think she got dragged off to Sugarcube corner, Pinkie said she had cupcakes with Twi’s name written on ‘em” she replies
>this feels like the goddamn mushroom quest in Diablo 1
>walk here, walk there, walk back
>you get to Sugarcube Corner
”Oh hi Anon!  How’s it going?  You back for another pot of coffee?  I hope you don’t drink too much coffee or else you’ll get all hyper.” Starts Pinkie
>YEAH SHE WOULD KNOW
”Pinkie!” you interject, before she continues “actually I heard Twilight was here”
”She left a while ago”
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
>fuck it
>Books McHornface can get over her angst, you’re tired and you’d probably end up saying something stupid
”Thanks Pinkie, I think I should go sleep a little actually.  You know, with the whole me having stayed up all night and stuff”
”Goodnight Anon!  Well it’s still daytime so I guess saying “Good day” applies…  Maybe more “Good afternoon”…  I don’t think I’ve ever said something like that to someone going to sleep before…”
>you wave as you walk backwards out of the pastry shop
>you head back to Twilight’s library
>maybe you can kill two birds with one stone, you can always try to ask what’s up if she’s in here
>you rush in
>Spike jumps a good foot into the air
>you appear to have startled the living fucks out of him
”oh shit, sorry…  I thought with this being a public library and all…  I’ll knock next time”
>Spike appears to be waving in that “it’s all good just gimme a second, my lungs need to remember how to breathe”
”ahhh… We don’t get that many visitors in times like these” replies Spike after his eyes settle back into his sockets, “I just got a little lost in thought.  If you were looking for Twilight, I think she went to Fluttershy’s cottage”
>looking for Twilight
>yeah, you’ll probably die before you catch up with her at this rate
”Actually, mind if I crash on your couch for a bit again?”
”yeah sure, I’ll be cleaning up but I’ll try not to bother you” he replies
”don’t worry about it, I’ll turn my ears off”
>"Dude...  That's creepy" replies Spike
>this was one of the best thing about all the money you’d spent of replacing some of your fleshy bits
>you settle on the couch
>you’ll have to find some form of lodging soon, this thing was putting a weird kink in your back
>sleep time now