Letter for Nelras

Dear Mister Nelras,

Hello! It is me, Gurashi An'Ryshe! You said... I should consider writing this down so can experience it or something. I have already experienced it. It is hard to explain even in written words. There are ... new developments - have been in times since Glomdoring's Solstice Festival. Was not quite so dire during Hallifax party.

It all started with Friend Aschwar - formerly Friend Liar, of the Shofets, Mysrai. They are a very good tae'dae priest of the Shofets, from far far far far away, and, they are so very good, and sweet and new and they make me think lots of myself and they are one of my very best friends. But something happened to them, and their beautiful brain stopped working as well as it was supposed to, and I have always heard kephera are supposed to have good big-brain things, but my antennae have always been broken. So I asked my friend Esei to fix them, but, when they did, it made me reconnect to the Hive all over again, and I met a Princess name Khepqet who used to know me, and she was not very nice, and it was not very nice experience, hearing all that noise. But I got used to it, I got better at it, and so it got better.

But then I got invited to join the Shofets's Beloved and, I have never been invited to love a -Divine- before, and I have never felt compelled, but I WANTED to because I want to help Friend Aschwar, because I do love them so, and they love the Shofets, and so I asked the Lady of Roses, and She said it was up the Glomdoring. And then She killed me and gave me a disfavor and it was very... scary, and painful. Because I think She thinks it meant I do not love Her but I can definitely love both. I still design and perform and talk to and encourage fellow Wyrdenkin! That is love, isn't it?

And, then I got a ghost?? And she was a very nice ghost, and her story is confusing but she was gentle and kind to me and I wanted to protect her, and I think she was linked to the Beloved. But then the Glomdoring said I was not allowed to join the Beloved, and so she had to leave me and I was unable to help her, and I still think about her every day because she suffered a terrible, terrible fate and then was completely forgotten, and nobody should be forgotten. And I love her even if nobody remembers her and want to help her.

And, then, Khepqet wanted to tell me about where I came from, and who I was, and I did not want to, and I had a fate-touched frie**the ink here is smeared and illegible, as if splattered with liquid** helping me figure out who I was. And it was like literal battle with my brain most days, because are peoples from my past, from the Hives, who want to find me, because of the things I guess I did. And, they helped me when it was really bad and scary, and then finally, I knew who I was, and now I live with a different ghost who is not a nice ghost like the last ghost. And now I do not think my friend wants to help me any more, because they do not look for me anymore, and they do not talk to me so much anymore, and so I do not tell peoples fully about what happened to me in the past anymore because I do not want more people to stop liking me. So I am not going to tell you yet because we are just now becoming friends and I want you to still like me so maybe later.

So now I live with a NEW ghost, and that ghost is me. Old-me, pre-Portal-me. And his life was not so very good, and so as a result, he is not very nice. I found him by accident, tangled up in the big psychic web that links all kephera and lets then be reborn eternally and, he does not know why he stopped existing and I do not know how to make him move forward. And I think it is him who does not want me to know how to play music, and so I cannot talk, and no longer see colors and it is hard not to be sad because I know the Lady of Roses is disappointed in me, and finally found a Divine to love but is wrong One, and Friend Aschwar is not fixed, and my friend does not like the me that am currently stuck as, and I keep trying to fix but I do not know **smeared ink** and feel so very small and a**more smeared ink**.

I do not know if writing this out was supposed to make words come out but they are still stuck. But that is the state of things. And am still very grateful that you asked, and am sorry that do not have more helpful or useful information. Words are not lost, obviously. Just stuck. And I am technically the one sticking them.

Think that is all of the words I can think of right now. Please come find me when want to have tea. Think tea together would be very lovely, yes. I have some brews of my own! But can meet wherever want. If still want.

Many thank yous for your kindnesses and be well,
Gurashi An'Ryshe