WASTELAND! With Horses - Chapter 7

>you're awoken by a loud groan
_"Ohhhhhh."
~"Sketch, you're awake!"'
_"I'm never taking your advice on fun ever again."
~"Oh, come on. It wasn't all that bad."
/"Vat do you even remember about it, Red?"
~"Uh, well, I think there were hookers."
"No, that was just you, Red."
~"Ruby's awake."
/"Ruby, vat did I do last night? Did I dishonor myself?!"
"No. You weren't nearly lucid enough to do that. Unless you count collapsing into your own vomit multiple times to be a permanent dishonor."
>Aryanne sighs and leans against the wall by the bed she and Sketchy are sharing
/"Thank scheisse."
~"All right, all right. Well something obviously happened last night, because I don't know where we are."
"Oh, we're at-"
>you look around for Nelly, Hot Wheels, and Polished Slate
>they're gone
"Nelly's… house?"
~"Nelly? She's great. She brought loads of booze into the pub brothel, she was super friendly and helpful, even reccommended me her favorite-"
>you spy a bump under the covers of the other bed
"Wait!"
>you rush over to the bed and pull back the blankets
>revealed to you is the peacefully sleeping form of Polished Slate
>satisfied that Red hasn't destroyed the innocence of the filly before you, - anymore than you already have with your excessive violence, anyway - you stroke her mane
"There you are, sweet heart."
~"Whoah, I thought you said this was Nelly's house. That's way too young to be Nelly. Look, Rube, it's one thing if you swing one way, but if you're swinging another other way, too-"
"Red, would you kindly stop speaking?!"
>"Miss Ruby?"
>ah, now Red made you wake her up
>figures
"Hi there, Slate. Where did Nelly and Wheels go?"
>Slate yawns and stretches
>"They said they were going out to do some shopping. Is something wrong?"
>shopping?
>okay
"No, nothing's wrong, darling, you can go back to sleep if you want."
>fortunately, it seems like she's in the mood to do just that
>Polished Slate pulls the covers back over herself rather rapidly and snuggles back into the mattress
~"All right, so we're at Nelly's house. Why, though?"
"Well, I was involved in that. You see, while you three were all drunk out of your minds last night, I discovered a problem that just might be of exactly the sort we were sent out to solve."
/"Ze call of duty. Tell us, kamerad."
>and you lay out the situation before them
>the attack by Bard's thug
>your conversation with the three-eyed stallion
>the fact that this Bard has the Mayor of Canterlot and her oldest daughter, Polished Slate's mother and sister respectively, locked away in his hideout
>the other attack by Bard's thugs
>the way they were trying to kidnap Slate too
>Nelly and Hot Wheels, Silver Locket's best friend, and how they explained that they had information which could help you rescue the Mayor
>and also, how they'd given you a place to sleep in their home on the grounds that you'd discuss this with the squad in the morning
>Sketchy is crying
_"I think it's just awful!"
>Aryanne is rubbing her neck
/"Zey tried to choke me vith a chain?"
>Red is frowning
~"How do we know we can trust these two? I mean, you said they took Sketchy from the pub to here while she was unconscious. How do we know they didn't violate her in her sleep or something?"
_"I-I don't feel violated…"
~"Look! See? She's rationalizing it already!"
"Oh, do be quiet, Red. I'm sure they did no such thing. And even if they did, you're a pirate, so I'm sure you're throwing stones from a glass house."
~"I have no idea what you're taking about!"
_"Wait, did they?"
"The Bard situation was confirmed to me by the three-eyed stallion who let us into the pub and by the thugs who attacked us last night, not to mention Polished Slate herself. I'm sure it isn't a lie."
~"All right, all right, you're right. It's just hard to trust ponies in life-or-death environments like this. I'll go with whatever you decide."
/"Ja, you spoke vith zem ze most, so you should be able to judge vheather or not zey can be trusted."
_"So long as they didn't violate me in my sleep. I've heard you can get… creative with wheelchairs."
>what the fuck
>okay, looks like it's your call

"Then we'll do it."
>a hush falls over your teammates
>you get the feeling they're thinking about two days ago
>a lot went wrong on that farm
>and even more can go wrong in a gangster hideout in mutant-infested Canterlot
>but there's no such thing as playing it safe in a radioactive desert anyway
>besides, you're smarter now
>probably
"So, we're just going to wait here until Nelly and Hot Wheels come back, and then we' head out as soon as we can. I don't went to get caught in mutant territory after dark."
_"Like we did the other night."
~"I'm pretty sure only the bunny was a mutant."
/"Might it not be to our advantage to strike at our foes under cover of darkness?"
"Maybe. We can figure out how exacty we're doing this after we get a pointer in the right direction."
>the door slams open
>Nelly calls out in a sing-songy tone
>"We're hooooooome!"
>Hot Wheels comes in after her
>"And we brought presents~!"
>Polished Slate pokes her head out from under her blanket
>"Presents?"
>"Not for you, sweetheart. Get back under the covers."
>Hot Wheels pulls herself all the way in, revealing a wagon hitched to her wheel getup
>oh, yes
>these are very nice presents
>the wagon is loaded up like it's destined for a Hearth's Warming tree at the home of a family of wandering killers
>Nelly laughs
>"I see you girls staring at your presents! Now, did you come to a decision?"
~"W-w-we decided yes, right?"
"We most certainly did."
>"We thought you'd say that. So we went out and picked up a few supplies to help you on the way."
>Hot Wheels unlatches the wagon from her wheels and points out all the items for you
>"We sure did! Scrounging together a few thousand bits we were saving for a rainy day, we managed to pick up two 9mm pistols, a dozen 9mm clips. sixteen .45 clips, four grenades, a Mare-17 carbine, one bullet-proof shirt, two leather jackets, and for some really fun toys, we grabbed an MX19 assault rifle, and one little rocket launcher."
~"Uhh…"
>you magically wipe the drool from Red's face
"Thank you so much. I can't begin to imagine how much this must have cost you."
>Nelly chuckles
>"It's nothing much, a drunkard and his tips are easily parted."
~"Evil!"
/"Vait, vhere did you purchase all of zis?"
>"Canterlot Emporium. Just down the road."
/"Zey simply… sell all of zese weapons?"
>"Welcome to Equestria, post-cataclysm. If you feel like there's anything you need that we didn't grab, I really do recommend the place."
"Thank you, again. If you wouldn't mind pointing us in the general direction of where we need to go, we'd like set off as soon as possible."
>Hot Wheels likes the sound of that
>"I can do better than point you; I can take you!"
>Nelly doesn't
>"No, you cannot."
>"I've been out there before! I can make it all the way there; I just can't make it up to the window with these stupid wheels!"
"Window?"
>"Well it's either climb up there or give the guards the password, and I don't know the password."
>"And what happens when they get in without you? I don't want you all alone in mutant territory! I don't care if you've done it before; you will not do it again."
>Hot Wheels stamps her hoof
>"How am I supposed to get them to the hideout then?"
>"You can draw a map."
>Hot Wheels sighs
>"Fine, Mom. I'll draw a map."
>you wish your mother was still around to discourage you from doing dangerous stuff like this
>Hot Wheels goes off to find some paper and a pen

>you and Sketchy take the 9mm pistols and split the clips between yourselves
>you all end up splitting the 45 clips
>Aryanne grabs up all the grenades, takes the carbine, and gives her assault rifle to Red
>Sketchy points out that she's a trained medic ans takes the bulletproof shirt, leaving you and Aryanne to take the leather jackets as armor
>she takes the assault rifle while she's at it
>and Aryanne manages to strap the rocket launcher to her back
~"What now?"
"Now, I suppose we get out there. Remember, we don't want to get caught in mutant territory after dark."
>you turn to Nelly
"Thank you. For everything."
>an idea strikes you
>you grab your extra copy of Twilight's contact spell and give it to Nelly
"In case you never see us again, all you have to do to call on the Friendship Rangers is get a unicorn friend to set a scroll on fire."
>Hot Wheels comes back from the corner of the one-room home, her simple map completed
>"Good luck out there. Wish I could join you."
>thanks are exchanged, hugs are exchanged, and you step outside with your team
>you make it to the boundary without issue
>your geiger counter softly clicks, informing you that you're near some low-powered solar radiation, you reckon it's probably from those golden window panes, which shimmer gently like the secret ring in your bag does
>you pull out the map Hot Wheels gave you and start plotting out your course
>Red reads over your shoulder
~"So, uh, is the only way there through the castle? That seems kind of long."
>Aryanne squeezes her head in next to Red's
/"Nein. I see two other possible ways there."
~"They're blocked off by rubble."
/"Fraulein Hot Wheels was limited to traveling on ze roads. For zose of us vith all four legs, it should be simple to simply step off of ze road und go around."
~"Oh, okay, I see now. You're pretty smart for a kraut."
>Sketchy objects
_"B-but, we don't know what's past the rubble! What if it's something dangerous?"
/"Vell, zat's vhy ve have a fuhrer."
>Aryanne directs all eyes to yours
/"Vat are your orders, Kamerad Ruby?"

"I say we go through the castle."
~"Oh, come on! That's so long! Why don't we just take the fastest route?"
"Too risky. We can't know what's past that rubble."
>you give Red your sweetest, most innocent smile
"Besides, I'd love to do some sightseeing as long as we're in Canterlot."
~"Sightseeing? You know there are lives at stake, right?"
"Ah, my dear, sweet Red. If a kidnapper hasn't killed his prey by the end of the first day, the chances of the victim surviving only increase as time goes on. Therefore, the longer we take to get there, the greater the odds of us finding the mayor and her daughter alive become."
>Red holds up a hoof, then puts it back down, then brings it back up, then puts it back down
~"Wait, wait, wait wait, wait wait wait. What?"
>Aryanne smirks as she passes Red and walks up to you
/"Let us go sightseeing zen, Kamerad Ruby."
>you begin walking past the first intersection, your team in tow
~"Wait, wait, wait, Ruby, hold on! I'm pretty sure that logic doesn't work!"
_"No, I think it makes sense. The chances increase the longer we wait, so we're more likely-"
~"No, Sketchy, no! The-the-the-the, the odds accumulate over time, so, so, it's like, ah! I never had to use advanced math like this when I was a pirate!"
>you're passing the second intersection now, the one marked as leading to a big mutant horde
>you look and see a lone desert pony shuffling about in the distance
"Red, shut up."
~"What? Hey-"
"Sshh!"
>you point at the mutant, and Red quiets down
>fortunately, it soon hobbles off behind a ruined tower, out of your line of sight
>you sigh and keep moving
>as you near the third intersection, the one you need to take, Red pursues her question further
~"All right, show me your damn figures on this thing, right now. I swear it's wrong."
"Red, it was a joke! Please do shut up!"
>a gruff voice sounds from the shadows
>"Aw, what was the joke? I like jokes!"
>after quite nearly shitting in the street, you whirl around to face your visitor
>you sigh with relief as it's someone you recognize
>it's the old, three-eyed pegasus from the bar, with two other slightly mutated members of the Old Guard
>one's a unicorn with a short, grizzled beard that glows a soft yellow
>the other's a big earth pony with a sloping, dome-shaped forehead
>you note that all three are packing 9mm pistols in foreleg holsters and spears strapped to their sides
>the pegasus steps into the Sunlight where you can see him a little better
>"You know, we just heard you four were goin' out, and it really inspired us. So we figured, old or no, it's still our duty to keep this city safe. Mind if we accompany you lovely ladies?"

"Well, if you want to come with us, you're certainly free to do so. Are you sure you're up to it?"
>the three-eyed pegasus grins
>"What? We don't look that old, do we?"
"I-I um, no, I just-"
>he chuckles
>"Relax, kiddo. I know I'm a few years past the Guard's retirement age, no harm in saying so. Now, I see you've got a map there. Which way were you planning on going?"
>the map, still in your magical grasp, flies up to your face again
>those three roads you can take, with two of them being partly in mystery to you
>maybe this fellow knows something Hot Wheels didn't
>you come around to his side and bring up the map for him to see
"Say, you wouldn't happen to know what lies on these roads here, would you? Our cartographer was a bit impaired by some blockage on them, and we'd feel a bit safer traversing one of these faster routes if we knew what to expect."
>the stallion smiles
>"Your cartographer? Who was that? Nelly's kid?"
"Yes."
>he glances back at his companions
>"Oh. Huh. I guess she would be the kind of pony to go around these parts on those wheels of hers. Does her mother know?"
"Oh, certainly, she condemned it most firmly."
>"Oh. Well, that's good. She shouldn't be so close to that hideout, for her own sake. Anyways, uh…"
>he looks to his companions again
>"We just got out here ourselves, so we know as much as you do. Probably less, since we didn't have Nelly's kid to draw us a pretty little map like that."
~"But it can't be that dangerous, right? You know these streets, right?"
>"We knew these streets when we were Guards. Haven't been back out this way since the Sun broke, hell if I know if there's a big mutie horde or something."
"Well, I guess that leaves us going this way. It takes us through the old palace."
>"Hmm…"
>he turns back to his companions, briefly shares some hushed words with them, and returns to you
>"We think that'd be perfect. Definitely the safest option for us."
>Red sounds off a highly conspicuous groan
>"But, hey, I'll leave it up to you, Miss Squad Leader."

>you sigh
"Well, let's get going then. It's a long walk."
~"What if I just went the short way? I could meet you guys later."
"No, Red. We are sticking together. This place is crawling with mutants, and probably gangsters too. It's for safety, dear."
~"Aw, you'd be fine. You've got like three more ponies with you, which should come pretty close to an adequate replacement for me."
>you roll your eyes and turn to walk toward the distant palace
"It's for your safety, Red. You shouldn't be alone out here."
>the rest of the group canters on behind you, and Red trots past them to come abreast of you
~"My safety? I'd be fine! I'd handle those mutants like I handled the Saddle Arabian Coast Guard, or like I handled the Griffish slave smugglers, or-or-or like I handled-"
"-the bunnies?"
~"Exactl- Hey!"
>Red stumbles over a few words, seemingly unable to find the right one to respond with
"Look. I've got the map. What if you went back there and got lost? You could get held up out here after dark."
~"So?"
"With all the mutants?"
>the bearded unicorn speaks up
>"Actually, the mutants don't like to come out at night all that much."
~"Ha!"
"What? Does that have something to do with the solar radiation levels from the Sun?"
>"I dunno. Guess it could be that."
"So there's no problem with staying out after dark then."
>the dome-headed earth pony interjects
>"No! There are uh… other things out here."
~"Oh, please. Other things?"
>"Yeah. Wierd things… Sorta look like-"
>the three-eyed pegasus smacks him on the back of the head
>"Shut the hell up, fishbowl. You're scaring the little one."
>little one?
>oh, Sketchy is wide-eyed and trembling
>the earth pony rubs his head
>"You know, I never make fun of your mutation."
/"Vait. You said zis vas your first time beyond ze fence."
>the pegasus has an answer
>"It is. Don't mind this idiot. Just some damn silly post-apocalyptic urban legend. Right?"
>the mopey earth pony agrees
>"Yeah, boss."
>the seven of you trudge on in silence for a number of minutes
>it doesn't happen suddenly
>in fact, it happens gradually up until you realize what it is
>the sound of baying hounds flows into your ear, getting louder with each passing second
>the pegasus looks around rapidly
>"Shit!"
"What is it?"
>"Sundogs! Sounds like a whole fucking pack of 'em."
"Sundogs?"
>there's a rustling in some rubble off to the side of the road
>you turn to look at it, and see a small, dark shape darting about behind the ruined buildings
>"Imagine a dog…"
"Okay."
>"Now imagine it's a vicious pack hunter…"
"I can see the issue here."
>"And also it breathes fire."
"Oh."
>the full extent of the problem at hoof hits you
>you look down the road and see the palace
>potentially, you could make a break for the castle
>but what if you can't outrun them?
>there are only two unicorns here, everyone else has to shoot with hooves, which means no shooting while running
>the other option would be to stand here and fight, since at the very least you know that bullets are faster than dogs, in case you aren't
>a brave sundog makes its way into the splintered marble road
>its skin is hairless, and splotched with charred spots
>its eyes flicker a brilliant white-yellow
>smoke and flames erratically erupt from its agape, snarling maw
>the others can't be far behind; it's time to make a decision

>1 sundog appears at 10 feet
>2 sundogs appear at 14 feet
>2 sundogs appear at 14 feet
>2 sundogs appear at 20 feet
>more can be heard rustling and snarling in the shadows
>you whip out your .45
"Red, get your .45 out; we're standing off here."
~"I'm down with a good shootout, but you know I have a 9-mil and an EQ, right?"
>that's not a bad point, but a sundog mock charges you, and you really don't have time to reconsider
"We don't have time for this, just do as I say! We, um, have to save the good ammo for the hideout."
~"Aye aye, then."
>damn, you probably could use an assault rifle out though
"Sketchy, get your assault rifle out!"
~"Oh, come on!"
>wait a second, why are you the only team member who doesn't know how to wield anything but a pistol?
>a dog spits fire in your direction, but you nimbly evade it and remember that you're sort of in danger here
"Aryanne, ready some grenades!"
>Aryanne wordlessly takes her grenade pouch into her hoof
>the nearest sundog charges you, for real this time
>you shriek and fire at it
>it's a hell of a shot, going right into the beast's torso and cutting straight through its heart
>it collapses and slides forward right at your hooves
>it manages to wheeze out one, last, firey breath straight up at your face
>it's extremely painful, but you think you'll be fine as long as you don't take another hit like that
>meanwhile, Aryanne tosses a grenade into the crowd of canines
>two of them are hit pretty badly, but remain standing, and another two take a little bit of flack as well
>its skin tattered from the grenade, one of the sundogs charges blindly into your party
>Red easily finishes it off with her pistol
>the remaining sundogs move forward, and three more appear behind them at about 31 feet
>one of these is larger than the others, and the solar fire within it is so potent as to leak through the very pores of of the skin on its neck, forming a fearsome, golden lion's mane
>this must be the alpha sundog, the leader of the pack
>it's not nearly close enough to where you think you could accurately shoot at it
>so instead, you worry about the four of them that are now circling about at closer than 10 feet
"Sketchy, do something about these ones getting close to us!"
>Sketchy fires a burst at one of the injured sundogs and kills it, screams, and holds on to the trigger while turning about erratically, effectively spraying her entire magazine into the pack of hounds
_"I-I forgot to let go of the trigger. S-sorry."
>she's got nothing to be sorry about in your opinion
>every dog before you managed to get hit by some of Sketchy's bullets, with one of them appearing seriously injured
>while the dogs are still reeling from the lead rain, each of the old Guards with you fires off a round into the pack, killing two more of their number
>from its comfortable position several yards away, the alpha sundog exhales a mighty flare of cosmic fire
>the dog's chosen victim is Red, who is bathed in a swirling vortex of flames
>Red cries out and falls to the ground, badly burnt and unconscious
>Sketchy unhesitatingly throws her weapon onto her back and goes to tend to Red
>it's 5 dogs against 6 ponies now
>and you really seriously need to do something about that alpha dog

>Sketchy seems to be doing more or less the right thing
>but you need someone on that assault rifle
"Can someone grab Sketchy's gun?"
>"I got it!"
>the three-eyed pegasus runs over to grab it, and Aryanne tosses him a 7.62 clip
"Everyone focus your fire on that big one!"
>you shoot at the alpha but miss
>Aryanne hurls a hoofful of death at it
>the grenade bonks the alpha in the head before clattering to the ground and exploding
>it and three others take a healthy dose of flak
>two of them crumple to the ground dead, one of them looks like it's just barely standing, but the alpha stands strong despite the sunlight pouring out from its many wounds
>the pegasus spits lead at the alpha, knocking it down
>the dog leaps back onto its paws in a rage and howls
>the other remaining sundogs charge you
>.45 fire from the Old Guard mows down one easily and slows down the other long enough for you to fire off one last round at it, finishing it off
_"And there… we… go. She should come around in a couple minutes or so."
>Sketchy stands up over Red and wields her pistol
>all that remains before you is the alpha sundog
>fire erupts from its wounds, going from red, to orange, to yellow, to blue, to blinding white
>it shakes violently as it prepares one more blast of hellfire for you and your team!

>holy shit
"Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it!"
>you thrust your gun as far out in front of you as you can while still seeing the sights and begin firing rapidly
/"Heilige scheiße!"
>Aryanne throws a grenade as hard as she can
>Sketchy and the veterans follow your example, firing round after round in the hopes of hitting the raging sundog
>the grenade goes off, leaving you firing into a cloud of smoke
>your pistol clicks empty after you empty your magazine
>you shakingly reload and aim forward again
>it's been a couple of seconds since the alpha first started charging its breath; surely it should have attacked by now
>the dust settles
>all that remains is a pitch black scorch mark on the dingy white marble
>you drop your aim, sit down, and sigh
"Thank fuck."
~"Hey, someone just said 'fuck,' and wasn't me."
_"Red, you're awake. How do you feel?"
~"Like I've been living in an oven. Someone jog my memory; why am I unconscious in a dirty street again?"
/"Dogs."
>Red looks at the scattered sundog carcasses and leaps to her hooves
~"Geez, shit, okay, I remember now."
>a familiar glint catches your eye
>you trot over to one of the dead dogs
>it's wearing a collar
>you brush some blood and soot off of the collar
>it's a golden metal that shimmers like a dying fire
>it's that same mysterious metal from Sweet Apple Acres, the same stuff your secret ring is made of
>"Hey, uh, whatcha doing?"
>the pegasus stallion has taken an interest in your actions
"Oh, nothing, just…"
>you magically unclasp the collar and hold it up
>you settle on a shape in your head and think of it
>ping
>in your magical grasp sits a little golden puppy
>to make up for all the dogs you've killed in the past three days
>the earth pony trots over
>"Whoah, you know about this stuff?"
"Yes. It's a sort of magical metal, as far as I can tell. I'm a jeweller by trade, and I know my metals well enough to have some fun with this stuff."
~"Is it the same stuff from Sweet Apple Acres?"
"As far as I can tell."
~"So why were these dogs wearing collars made of it?"
>that's a good question
>the pegasus tries to answer
>"Canterlot. All the rich old mares had little gold collars for their precious little mutts."
"So maybe this used to be regular gold, and then it changed when the Sun fell down…"
_"L-like a mutant metal?"
"Mutant metal. Yes, that does sound about right."
>you turn from your work to face your party
>the earth pony is glaring at the pegasus
>the pegasus raises his hoof and shakes his head
~"Welp, I feel like a million bits, apart from the third degree burns. Are we gonna get going or what?"

"Well, you're not a million bits, Red. You're hardly standing."
~"Aw, come on, don't be a bitch. I can walk it off just- shit!"
>Red yanks her forehoof of of a piece of rubble she was stepping on and cradles her foreleg
>she stops and looks at you
~"It's… just a little burn on my hoof. It'll be fine, trust me."
>you turn to the pegasus
"It should be safe to stop in one of these buildings on the side of the road, right?"
>"Probably. Just watch out for radioactive turtles."
>you offer a polite laugh
>"That's no joke. That's how I got this third eye. And a mean little cut from that beak"
"O-oh, uh, s-sorry."
>"And of course there are things like scorpions and snakes that sometimes live in these old hellholes. We'll be all right if we stick by the entrance though. "
"All right. We'll head into that one over there. Sketchy, you can work on Red inside."
_"I'm not sure what more I can do, Ruby. A lot of this is just going to have to heal over time."
"Whatever you can do will be fine, darling. I just need her more than a hair's breadth from keeling over again."
_"I'll try."
>you head into the most in-tact storefront nearby
>you open the door and the stench of must hits you like a wall
>this shop looks like it's been closed for a long time
>in reality, probably only about a year
>about same time your own shop went out of business, due to unforeseen world-ending solar cataclysm
>also like your shop, this one appears to have sold jewelry
>horn rings, hoof rings, ear rings, necklaces, braces, and cut gemstones galore
>this should give you something to do while you wait
~"Uh, hey! Quit being so rough, that hurts!"
_"J-j-just hold still!"
>you absentmindedly admonish Red over your shoulder; you're not even sure what you said
>the whole collection is so amazingly untouched
>you're about to admire a dazzling diamond diadem up close when you see something in your peripheral vision
>you look down to see what it is
>it's a tiny turtle, no bigger than a tablespoon, emitting a sort of low-energy glow and looking up at you
>dear, you do seem to have wandered a good bit away from the entrance
"Why hello there, little fellow. Goodness, I nearly stepped on you."
>the little turtle doesn't seem to mind, and it nuzzles its tiny head against your hoof
>you lie down to get a closer look at it
"Goodness, you seem so harmless and pokey. I can't imagine what my friend back there must have done to get bit by one of you."
>you forget the gems for a moment and simply play gently with the little turtle
>and then you feel something on your flank
>you sharply crane your neck as far back as possible to see what could be on your buttock
>it's another little turtle, scaling your body like a spider scales walls
"Uh, h-hello there. That's, ah, not an appropriate place to be."
>the little reptile ignores you and scuttles forward
>when it reaches your saddlebag, it climbs up under the flap and makes its way in
"Now wait just a minute, those are my things. Besides invading my privacy, you're also exposing yourself to materials potentially unsafe for little turtles such as yourself. Come out at once!"
>you magically open your bag and grab the turtle
>but it doesn't come out alone
>held tightly in its little legs, about as big around as it is, is your mysterious ring
>the one with a band made from that mutant gold, an inset of expertly cut fire ruby, and wrought seemingly in the spitting image of your cutie mark
"Now why would you want a silly thing like that?"
>you take the ring from the turtle and set the turtle down in front of you
>and you take double
>now there's over a dozen tiny turtles, all staring intently at your ring
"Oh, my. I don't believe turtles eat gems. What do you want?"
>you snatch a monocular jeweler's glass from the counter and examine the ring up close
>you nearly drop both items
>a fire ruby is supposed to give the appearance of a gently burning ember, much like the mutant gold
>but this one seems to contain the raging infernos of Tartarus itself
_"Uh, hey, Ruby? Whatcha doing? I saw that binocular thingy fly away."
>you glance over your shoulder at Sketchy, who's accompanied by a bandaged Red
>you look back in front of you
>the turtles are gone
>the fire ruby is acting normal
>there's a tiny spark in front of you, glowing atop a single strand of carpet
>you stand up and smartly tuck the ring into your foreleg holster, hoping nobody saw
"Oh, nothing. I was just… examining the wares. We could…"
>oh, this is going to hurt to say
"We could make a pretty penny off of all this."
>your life's passion, reduced to a commodity for sale
~"Ha! What'd I tell ya Rube? You woulda made a great pirate. Always on the quest for shiny stuff."
"Ah, whatever. How are you feeling?"
~"Like a billion bits."
_"Th-there, uh wasn't too much I could do as far as healing goes, sorry. But at least she should be able to walk without pain. It looks like she still needs to heal over time. We could maybe rest here for a bit to see if she gets any better."
~"Or we could not do that and just get going instead. I know medic shit too, and there's no difference between healing over time while sitting around and healing over time while moving."
>you don't think you really want to stay here much longer
>on the other hand, what if there was another mutant attack and Red wasn't ready?
>still, this place gives you the shivers

"Why don't we wait around here for a spell longer? We'll head out in a bit."
~"Oh, come on! I'm fine!"
"No, you're all bandaged and ashy. Besides, you're not the only one who's hurt here."
>you tilt your head up showcase what feels like a painful burn under your chin
~"Ugh. Fine. I'll just pick up some jewels so this doesn't feel like a total waste."
"That sounds delightful! I'll join you."
~"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
>Red grabs a gem from a counter
~"I don't really need your help to plunder."
"Oh, of course. Picking from an abandoned shop is clearly the same as theft on the high seas, I should have known you'd be the expert here."
~"I'll have you know that piracy is very different from theft."
"Oh sure, sure. Similarly, that quartz in your hoof is very different from something that's worth good money."
~"Uh, I'm pretty sure this is a diamond."
>you have no words
"Darling, this is why you need me right now."
>you spend about an hour picking out valuable jewels and educating Red on the different kinds of gemstones and precious metals
>for someone who made a living off of this stuff, she knows shockingly little about it
~"Hey, I just pirate it and sell it to some bird-brained griffon. If they don't know the difference, I don't need to know the difference."
"A griffon? Oh my stars; I've never known one that was so jewelry-illiterate as you are. I'd wager you were getting ripped off."
~"Ripped off?!"
"Red, if you don't know the value of what you're selling, how can you trust your merchant to give you a fair payment?"
~"Uggghhhhhhhh! So that's how he managed to repossess my ship!"
>you smirk
"Repossess?"
~"Oh, shit."
>Red sighs
~"Yes, that's why I was in Ponyville, are you fucking happy now?"
>you touch your chin and your smirk deepens
~"Fucking laugh it up! Debt is no fucking joke!"
_"Hey Ruby, is this valuable?"
>you turn around to face Sketchy, who takes up in her mouth what might just be the single most valuable item you've seen in your entire life
>it's an intricately wrought, old-fashioned battle axe, made of solid gold
>specifically, solid mutant gold
>the handle's grip is a rainbow of hundreds of colorful gemstones embedded in the metal
>the rest of the handle is covered in a relief carving a large pony who vaguely resembles Nightmare Moon engraved in various triumphs over various enemies
>the head is double bladed, with an intricately engraved image of the Sun on both sides of both blades and a massive, perfectly spherical fire ruby embedded right through the center
>you can practically feel your eyes sparkling like they've become diamonds themselves
"Oh my, Sketchy, this is… this is incredible! It must be amazingly old, yet it's in such exquisite condition! Sketchy, if there's a market for this, then I assure you we'd become extremely wealthy! Of course, if we were to keep it, that would certainly be good as well…"
>Sketchy wraps her hoof around the axe and pulls it from her mouth
_"I… I think I wanna keep it."
"Oh, my, yes, yes, we'll have to set up a display for it as soon as we get back to-"
_"I wanna use it."
"Wh-what?"
_"It feels right. In my mouth, I mean. It feels better than my crowbar. Better balanced, I guess. It's like it was made for me."
~"Heh, made for you? Have a lot of experience with battle axes there, Sketch?"
_"M-maybe a little. What's it to you?"
~"Eh? Uh, Nothing. There's nothing wrong with that; I just, uh… didn't peg you for a fighter."
>Sketchy looks down
_"That's okay."
~"Rube, I'm a trillion bits now. There's no way we can wait here any longer."
"No, you're right, you're right. We have to get moving. It'll be noon before too long, and I'd prefer to stay out of the dreadful desert heat as much as possible."
~"Great!"
>you get to the door, where Aryanne stands a dutiful watch
~"Where are the old dudes at?"
/"Zey vent zat vay."
>Aryanne points toward a back room
"I'll get them."
>you head toward the room and get near the doorless doorway
>"No, we are seriously outgunned out here!"
>you poke your head in
"Outgunned by whom?"
>all three of them pause to look at you
>the pegasus speaks up
>"Ah, I wouldn't worry about it."
>the earth pony pipes up after him
>"Yeah, somebody's just got a bad case of cold hooves about a little wet work. Isn't that right?"
>the unicorn rolls his eyes
>"Yeah, whatever."
"Okay, well, we're about to get a move on. Would you care to join us?"
>the pegasus smiles
>"I wouldn't miss your company on this trip for the world, my dear."
"That's… charming. Come along now. We do have to get going."
>and with that, you lead the veterans to the door and your team to the street