Goooooooooooooood moooooooooooooooorning #staffslug! Friday reporting for duty SAH! The weekend starts her....well in several hours anyway! Although it is a bit Manchestry at the moment it should brighten up tomorrow before widdling it down all sunday. We must start off with an apology for the two week interruption in service this was caused by the wrong type of work on a Friday and leaves on the line.  In channel news nothing much has been happening this week apart from mzje's identity crisis after being mistaken for a mole he inexplicably has decide to rename himself oosho which sounds like John Inman trying to scare off a pigeon.  Before we move on the Turpin forecast we are going to a report from the newly opened #staffslug themepark : Faffington World of Adventure and Zoo.
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Welcome to Faffington and you join us as we walk down the main parade and we can see some of the amazing attractions on offer.
First we come to "Going Postal" by PurpleOptic,  a cross between laser tag and rugby where you have to dodge fire as you attempt to get your delivery of mail safely into the log flume.   Naturally we next come to the Redbaron Rapids log flume, a non-standard version as you actually sit in a canoe and sent on a wet and wild ride around a course trying to avoid all the mail from Going Postal before ultimately ending up in a tree.  Next up we have Mzje's Mysterious Mine,  you enter the dark underground with only a blurry camera,  you wander around for a bit before there is a power cut and you have to find your way out in the dark.    If all this is making you hungry then you can head over to Kiwi's Chunder Chow where you can feast on such delights as a sprout and imitation chicken hotdog with nougat sauce and a vardef salad,  mustard flavour candy floss and rage flavoured ice cream,  how delightful!
Then we come to Chrismcfall's Crashes a car park "themed" dodgems ride where you get to tear around crashing into things without a multi-thousand pound insurance policy hanging over you.  Please note #staffslug accepts no responsibility for vehicles left in the budget all day car park.  Onward an into Tommeh Towers a horror house filled with scary scenes depicting the dwindling suppply of IPv4,  Dell shipping kit with the incorrect BIOS for the installed processors  and the perils of running iSCSI traffic over the data LAN EEEEEK  enter if you dare!
If you survived all that then it is time to relax in the arcade where there is the Canadian themed Guinea Grabber,  yes it one of those machines full of soft toys but instead of the traditional claw it uses a net but to make it more difficult there is a split in it.    After you have been swindled for a bit it is time for some action on the Turbo Turpin rollercoaster,  these may seem tame at first but the real adrenaline kicks in when you realise it has been built by BRIAN systems so you can balance the thrill of survival with the risk that the rails have been made from old exhausts,  the car made from an old rotting Astra and the whole thing controlled by a Netgear cable modem.    Sadly we have not got time to visit the zoo part which features meerkats, gibbons, ibexes, herons, drakes and a lesser spotted Filbert.  Back to the studio!
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Welcome back,  Turpin Time is expected to be 12:47 today (depending on traffic).  #staffslug is filmed in-front of a surprised studio audience (they didn't think there was going to be one this week).
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ajedwards is selling his latop on ebay (look under cat furniture) featuring CAT5 support, black in collar, purrrfect condition, 100% pussative feedback! Buy it Meow!
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He hasn't said anything this week either,  I think he is up to something secret!
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