I don’t know how to begin, honestly. I was invited to my friend’s house for a Halloween party, and I’m honestly pretty hyped. Truth said, I’ve never celebrated Halloween before in my place, because my family never cared about it in the first place, they even got uncomfortable because the festival worships the “devil” as my mother says it. Whatever. My country is not a western country, sadly. Filled with weird conservatives and stereotypical Asians like my family. I swear I’m different.

	So off to my friend’s house I go, I suppose. I was nervous and excited at the same time, and I felt a little dumb. “I’m fourteen, for God’s sake,” I chide myself. I looked at my poorly made costume, which I made by finding an old shirt and painted it red and black paint, along with tears of the shirt with my trusty penknife in my bedroom (please don’t ask) to resemble a zombie. I felt so exposed as I walked into my friend’s mansion. My friends were chilling in the living room, playing Street Fighters on my friend’s Xbox. They looked at my costume and laughed at me. Don’t worry, it’s fine. It’s just how we roll. Their costumes looked horrible too, and I laughed at them as well. Good times.

	In a few minutes, my friend’s mom announced it was dinner. We had spaghetti and other delicious foods my mom would never ever know how to make but never admit. I mean, I’ve never seen devil eggs before and they were cool looking, I’ve never tried it though, didn’t really feel comfortable looking a them, much less eat them. The tomato sauce in the spaghetti was accompanied with cleverly sliced olives that made them resemble eyes. My first Halloween dinner, and I already know that this night was going to be very, very special.

	After dinner, we sat by the couch to watch a horror movie, and we while my friends was fussing over which horror movie to watch, one of my friends, named Nicq, (Yes, Nicq with a q) sat next to me. Immediately, i was in high alert. Nicq, fifteen, with short, curly bangs the color of milk chocolate, was sitting next to me. Oh dear. He was wearing a black shirt with a really good looking pair of jeans and he was looking at me. Oh God. He has this face with brown eyes that girls would drool all over. Not that I’m going to admit that. The movie started but I was so distracted by him that I wasn’t paying attention to the movie. He was still staring at me and he took his finger and poked at my cheek. He has to be fucking kidding right now. I stared at him and he held my gaze. His eyes. Those puppy dog eyes.

	It’s nine by the time we finished the movie. My friends decided that it was time for trick-or-treating. My friend brought me a goodie bag because I forgot to bring a bag for myself, which I silently cursed myself for. We got out of the house and ran house after house while ringing every single doorbell in the neighbourhood. Out came a few confused neighbours, who even shouted at us for annoying them at such a late hour. But most of the time, we got candy. Which was great. I was thinking to myself: “Is this what Americans could do every year during Halloween? What a steal!” American cultures are so share-friendly, it’s funny I never thought of that before.

	We came back before curfew at ten. We were racing back against each other to my friend’s big mansion, not surprisingly, I was last. To my defence, I was wearing slippers. I caught a glimpse of Nicq staring at me and turning away before he thinks I noticed.

	I had to leave soon, my parents car was honking outside, which signalled that they were here. My friend, Kydric, led me out of the gates to let my parent’s car in. It was starting to rain.

He asked me, “So, are you going to come out yet?”

“Never in a million years,” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“Just so you know, everyone saw you and Nicq just now and…”

“Whatever. He doesn’t know I’m gay,” I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

“I’m just trying to say that…” He took a deep breath.

I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.

“Maybe, maybe it’s fine that you’re gay. We’re cool with it, you know? Give it a chance, it’s not like anyone is going to judge who you are anyway,” he says before clamping his mouth with a hand before he says too much.

I don’t say anything for a long time. We were awkwardly waiting for my parents to arrive before I knew I had to do something. It wasn’t fair for them or me to hide this secret away for so long.

“Maybe, just not today,” I replied quietly.

Kydric looked at me for a moment and punched me in the shoulder.

“You got it man,” was all he replied.

	Writing this really made me think, “Was I ready to tell everyone I was gay? Would anyone think of me as different and hate me for who I am?” Thousands upon thousands of questions piled on my mind as I stared at my phone. There was a message from Nicq. Hold on, I gotta take this. Seriously. ;)