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INDOXXI
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1
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(MELLOW HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

2
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HOAGIE: Someone once said, "We don't
stop playing because we grow old.

3
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,918
"We grow old because we stop playing."

4
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When you're a kid, you can't imagine
having any other group of friends.

5
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,050
You think you're gonna be
buddies forever.

6
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,220
Of course, for most people,
that just doesn't happen.

7
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:57,141
But my friends and I,
we figured out a way around that.

8
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We just never stopped playing.

9
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And I like to think that simple thing,
playing a game,

10
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is what made me the man I am today.

11
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:14,784
So the man you are today
wants to be a janitor.

12
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- Yes.
- (SIGHS)

13
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,413
Look, Doctor Malloy,
I'm looking at your résumé.

14
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It says you got a Ph. D.
In veterinary medicine

15
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,418
and that you actually
have a successful practice right now.

16
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Look, (SIGHS) there comes a time
in every man's life

17
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,466
where you just gotta take stock,

18
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:34,887
ask yourself what's really important,
what's on your bucket list.

19
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,390
So let me get this straight.

20
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:41,602
On your bucket list, you don't have,
like, skydiving or rock climbing,

21
00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:43,062
or tap dancing, maybe?

22
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,355
Dancing with wolves,

23
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,815
I believe that has to be a thing.

24
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:47,525
They wouldn't have made a movie
if it wasn't, you know?

25
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,195
All I know is that, for me,
what I really want

26
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:57,243
is to clean the urine off
of that man's toilet seat.

27
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Talking about the boss.

28
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:02,498
Mr. Callahan.

29
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,166
Yeah, he's a great man.
This is a great company.

30
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,044
Anything I can do
to get closer to that guy, sign me up.

31
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:08,963
Okay, look, man.

32
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Honestly, any other situation,

33
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,967
I would just tell you
to get the fuck out my office, okay?

34
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,721
But we do need the help,
so when can you start?

35
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,353
I've already begun.

36
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What the fuck was that?

37
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- Uh...
- I haven't even opened that yet.

38
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Uh, I'm sorry.
I was trying to be proactive.

39
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:33,154
Today. I can start today. Um...

40
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Why don't I get you another Coke?

41
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- You do that, we good.
- Okay. (CLAPS HANDS)

42
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But don't throw away no more new stuff.

43
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You will not be disappointed.

44
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We don't have to shake hands, man.

45
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- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Sure.

46
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White people.

47
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(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

48
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All right, Bob. You're the CEO
of a Fortune 800 company.

49
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You have commanded the respect
of coworkers and vendors alike,

50
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and that is why you're being interviewed
by the big boys.

51
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The Wall Street Journal.

52
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- Miss Crosby.
- Oh. Hi.

53
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- Hi. Bob Callahan.
- Rebecca.

54
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BOB: Thank you so much
for taking the time.

55
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REBECCA: Oh, thank you.

56
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Should we just get right into it?

57
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- Yeah, let's jump right in.
- BOB: All right.

58
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Well, here's what I would love for your
readers to know about our company.

59
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We are young.

60
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We are dynamic. We are fun.

61
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Uh, so let's talk about diabetes.

62
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(LAUGHS WEAKLY) Mr. Callahan,
how do you respond to the idea

63
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that your industry
uses captive insurance

64
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to move risk off balance sheets?

65
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Well, great question. Tough, but fair.

66
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Um, I guess I would say that
what I love about Freedom Atlantic

67
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is that we're not like
other insurance companies.

68
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- (THUDS)
- Uh, we're big, but small.

69
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- Uh... Small.
- (BANGING)

70
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- We are, um...
- (OBJECTS RATTLING)

71
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You know, we're complex...

72
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(LOUD BANGING)

73
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...and yet, also simple.

74
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(STAMMERING)
And we are global...

75
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(CLATTERING CONTINUES)

76
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Yet local.

77
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,542
That's exactly right.

78
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,626
Sorry, one second.

79
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,212
Uh, hey, could you maybe come back
at another time?

80
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We're just right in the middle
of something. Sir?

81
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:18,342
I'm afraid not, Bob.

82
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Jesus Christ, Hoagie!

83
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,512
- What are you doing here?
- (LAUGHING)

84
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How did you get past security?

85
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,306
I didn't. I work here.

86
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:28,811
You got a job at my company,
so you could try to tag me?

87
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,396
Come on. Bob, it's over.

88
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You don't think I can escape
from my own conference room?

89
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Where are you gonna go?

90
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Well, guess what? Watch now
'cause this is happening. (GRUNTS)

91
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(GROANS)

92
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- BOB: God dang it!
- Okay.

93
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,159
- BOB: Oh... Ouch.
- You okay?

94
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,618
God. Okay.

95
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,786
You're right.

96
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It's over. (SIGHS)

97
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(BOB GROANS)

98
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- Well, you're it.
- Yeah, I know. All right.

99
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,377
It's good to see you.
Good to see you, pal.

100
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,712
- Good to see you.
- Have you lost weight?

101
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,631
Yeah, a little bit.
Hey, listen, this is serious. Um...

102
00:04:58,466 --> 00:04:59,467
Jerry's quitting.

103
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,593
What? Bullshit.

104
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,970
I swear to God.
End of this season, he's retiring.

105
00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:07,558
Well, okay. But, uh, I am in the middle
of an interview. So can I...

106
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,977
- Wall Street Journal, that's so cool!
- Oh, thank you.

107
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No, thank you, by the way,

108
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'cause this was the distraction
I needed.

109
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- You get Bob talking about himself...
- (SIGHING)

110
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It is just a feedback loop. Non-stop.

111
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- Can we talk about this outside, please?
- Yeah.

112
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Can we talk about this outside?
I'll be right back. I promise.

113
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There's three days left in May.

114
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That gives us 63 hours
to round up the guys and get him.

115
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,077
Great. We can talk about this
over dinner.

116
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,496
What? No, no, no. We have to go now!

117
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,664
Don't you have bathrooms to clean
or something?

118
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,082
Technically, yes, I do.

119
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,250
All right, well, you know what?

120
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- Take this ridiculous thing off...
- Ow.

121
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...and get to it.
We'll talk about this later.

122
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(STAMMERS) I'll resign, Bob.

123
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You don't have to. You're fired.

124
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Oh, good. 'Cause the benefits here suck!

125
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,469
No, they don't.

126
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,763
That's true. Benefits are really good.

127
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Oh, hey, sorry about that.
Uh, where were we?

128
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- Uh, diabetes. Yes.
- Explain.

129
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Well, uh... I'm not a doctor,
but there are two types.

130
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Type one is called "Type One".
And Type Two is more of an adult onset.

131
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No. (STAMMERS) Him.

132
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- What are you doing?
- Hoagie, what do you want?

133
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You tagged me. I'm it, okay?

134
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,828
You're sitting there
like I didn't just tell you

135
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,330
we gotta deal with this right now.

136
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,583
Because we got a real shot
at Jerry this year.

137
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:15,793
You say that every year.

138
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- Yeah, but this year's different.
- You say that every year.

139
00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,381
- But this year's really different.
- You said that last year.

140
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,757
I know, you're right.

141
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,592
But this year's actually different

142
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,556
because we know exactly
where he's going to be and when.

143
00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:33,852
"The wedding celebration
of Susan and Jerry.

144
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"Saturday, May 31st."

145
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,398
He's a sitting duck!

146
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We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now,

147
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,195
or we die.

148
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:46,365
- What?
- Eventually. You know what I mean.

149
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,493
Come on, Bob.

150
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,703
(SIGHS)

151
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,580
You gonna grow old,
or you gonna keep playing?

152
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,087
(EXHALES) Keep playing.

153
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,716
That is the right answer.
Nice to meet you.

154
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883
- REBECCA: Uh...
- I'm sorry. I have to go.

155
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:05,968
No. Uh...

156
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,137
Hold on. Hold on.

157
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,930
I can't believe he's getting married,
and he didn't even tell us.

158
00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:12,308
I know. I was mad at first, too,
and then hurt.

159
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,935
But, you know, he just realized
he'd be a sitting target.

160
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,604
That's insane, even for him.

161
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:19,064
Will one of you please tell me
what's going on here?

162
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,441
Are we off the record?

163
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,151
No, definitely not.

164
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,235
Awesome. Okay.

165
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:25,904
Our group of friends has been playing
the same game of tag for 30 years.

166
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,281
What?

167
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,701
For the entire month of May,
every year, we play tag.

168
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,785
Just like when we were kids.

169
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:33,787
But we're not on a playground,
and we all live in different cities.

170
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:36,165
So you don't ever know
when someone's gonna pop up.

171
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,499
You could be shopping at the mall,

172
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,084
and then your buddy
jumps out of the trunk

173
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,961
and, boom, tags you. You're it.

174
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,129
Here's the craziest part.

175
00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:44,715
Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged.

176
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:48,344
What do you mean he's never been tagged?
You never put your hand on his body?

177
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,638
Not during the month of May.
For like, 30 years.

178
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Why don't you just go over to his house
and tag him?

179
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,768
- HOAGIE: It's not that easy.
- Why not?

180
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,436
Because... (SIGHS)

181
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,983
Well, for starters,
because he's so freaking fast.

182
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,653
You just can't catch him.

183
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,572
BOB: Yeah,
and if you do manage to catch him,

184
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:12,493
then he goes feral and turns into
some kind of crazy wild animal.

185
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,078
(ROARS)

186
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:19,458
HOAGIE: And if you manage
to trap the wild animal,

187
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,795
he still finds a way.

188
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:24,838
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

189
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:25,923
REBECCA: What just happened there?

190
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,300
To this day, I have no idea. No idea.

191
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:32,429
He's the best that ever played. Yeah.

192
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,015
And now, he wants to retire
with a perfect record,

193
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:39,186
make us all look like fools. Fools!

194
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,146
He gets very excited.

195
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,440
There he is.

196
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,026
Wait. You're not leaving.

197
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,361
- Look, Ms. Crosby, I apologize.
- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)

198
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,321
Uh, I will have someone from my office
reach out to you.

199
00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:51,156
We will reschedule this
as soon as I'm back in town.

200
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,574
Uh, nope.

201
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,160
- Nope?
- No. Change of plan.

202
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,328
I'm coming with you.

203
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,955
This is a story.

204
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,039
What? No.

205
00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:01,208
Yes. This is the coolest game ever.

206
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,626
I don't think that's gonna be her angle.

207
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,253
I don't know what my angle is,

208
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,089
but I do find it very interesting
that we live in a world

209
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,007
where grown men take an entire month

210
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:10,551
out of every year
to play a child's game.

211
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,762
It's very interesting.
You're right. Let's go.

212
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,348
I don't think she means interesting
in a good way.

213
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,142
- HOAGIE: Get in, Bob.
- Fine! Fuck it, I'm going.

214
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,478
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

215
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,071
(BONG BUBBLING)

216
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,495
(COUGHING)

217
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,751
All right, it's all ready for you, Dad.

218
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,922
Hey! Thank you. Thank you.

219
00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:53,260
I'll be honest with you.
Ever since my wife died,

220
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,054
you've really been the rock
holding me down.

221
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,853
So thank you.

222
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,438
Well, I appreciate that.
I really do.

223
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,191
But your wife is not dead.

224
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,152
Well, she's dead to me. (CHUCKLES)

225
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,488
What?

226
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,364
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- Yeah.

227
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,575
- That's right.
- That's right.

228
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,285
Listen to me.

229
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:22,539
"To live in the past is
to die in the present."

230
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:23,749
Now, who said that?

231
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,376
- You did.
- Bill Belichick said that!

232
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,045
God love him. Yes, sir.

233
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,588
All right, I'm gonna get us more weed.

234
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672
God bless you, son.

235
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,216
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

236
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,717
Damn, that was fast!

237
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,682
- Hey!
- Hey, Anna.

238
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,893
- Hey, Chilli. How are you?
- Good, nice to see you.

239
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,102
What are you doing here?

240
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,647
I was... I was walking by

241
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,651
and thought I'd pop in
and say hi to you and Roger.

242
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,236
Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie?

243
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,614
Oh, um... He's, um...
You know... (SIGHS)

244
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,117
- Oh, shit!
- Hogan's in, uh, the library.

245
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:02,079
Is it... Dad, what month is it?

246
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,122
May.

247
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,084
Mmm-mmm. You're not getting by me.

248
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,377
(YELLING)

249
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,421
Anna, are you okay?

250
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,423
He's loose! He's loose!

251
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,508
Fuck it.

252
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,592
Hogan, honey, he's coming.

253
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,222
He's heading down the east stairwell.

254
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,518
(YELLS)

255
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,814
- Hey. Hogan!
- Hey, Chilli!

256
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,899
I haven't seen you in a while, man.
How's everything?

257
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:32,734
- Pretty good. Yeah, what about you?
- Good, yeah.

258
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,361
Everything's good, man. Yeah, work.
I mean, I'm going through that divorce.

259
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,321
- You sure?
- But, everything's fine. It's fine.

260
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:39,283
Hey, also, side note.
Stop bringing your wife into this, man.

261
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,660
That's bullshit.
She's way too intense for the game.

262
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,537
You're just jealous
'cause she's such a badass.

263
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,039
She's my secret weapon.
Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped.

264
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,541
- Am I trapped?
- Yeah.

265
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,251
I am? (YELLS)

266
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,878
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

267
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,045
Damn you, Chilli!

268
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,755
(YELLING)

269
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,805
Jesus, Chilli!

270
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,181
That's trash!

271
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,312
(WHIMPERING)

272
00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:17,404
(GRUNTING) Fuck me!

273
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,489
Oh, hey, Martin!

274
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,034
Oh. Hi. Sorry.

275
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,038
(GRUNTS)

276
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,123
(GROANING)

277
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,092
CHILLI: Excuse me, Mrs. Martin.
Coming through.

278
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,011
- (GASPS)
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

279
00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:43,013
HOAGIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

280
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:47,392
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
So sorry. Wow. Okay.

281
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,897
- Get him, Andy!
- (YELLING)

282
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,693
- Good, Andy, good!
- (HOAGIE GRUNTING)

283
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,201
HOAGIE: Ho, ho, ho, ho.

284
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,203
Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...

285
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,166
Chilli! No, no, no!

286
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,668
(CHILLI SCREAMING)

287
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:17,673
(EXHALES SHARPLY)

288
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:21,969
(COUGHING)

289
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,181
Oh, fuck!

290
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,058
- You okay, buddy?
- (CONTINUES COUGHING)

291
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,311
Oh, just great. Great.

292
00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:34,690
You ain't getting me today, man.
I'm not losing.

293
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:35,899
There's only one problem, Chilli.

294
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,985
Oh, yeah? What's that? (GROANS)

295
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,820
I'm not it.

296
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,322
(SIGHS) The fuck you mean,
you're not it?

297
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,573
BOB: I am, motherfucker!

298
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:44,825
(BOTH GRUNT)

299
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:45,909
Oh!

300
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,327
- (BOB LAUGHING)
- (CHILLI GROANING)

301
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:50,038
- It! Come on. Get up.
- Goddamn!

302
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,289
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

303
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,916
You took a pretty big hit there. My God.

304
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,292
Yeah, I thought I got away.

305
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,170
- Set him up. Knock him down.
- Oh, my God!

306
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,255
- Good idea.
- All right, fair and square.

307
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,339
- I'm it, right?
- Yes.

308
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:00,465
And now you're it.

309
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:02,843
- Whoa. Nope.
- Yeah.

310
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,386
Nope. I'm not taking it.

311
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,637
No, I'm not. No!

312
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,097
- No.
- We're not... No!

313
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,306
Guys, we're too old for...

314
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,019
No, don't start hitting. God.

315
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,521
No, no, you're it.
I don't know who is it.

316
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:17,482
- You're it. You're it.
- Guys, guys!

317
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,735
- This is ridiculous.
- Son of a bitch! You sack punched me!

318
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,486
- Well, you punched me!
- You sack punched him?

319
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:22,946
Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it.

320
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,114
- Sorry.
- Okay, I'm it.

321
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,699
ALL: Truce, truce, truce.

322
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,783
Deal.

323
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,326
This isn't about us anyway.

324
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,663
This is the year we get Jerry.

325
00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:33,373
- Oh, we're not gonna get Jerry.
- HOAGIE: He said the same thing.

326
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:35,876
No, no. I said the same thing.
We got a plan, all right?

327
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,169
(HORN HONKS)

328
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:39,921
Guys! Guys, let's go.

329
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,466
She's so intense, man.
She takes it too far.

330
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,801
You know what? If it wasn't for me,
you guys would be day drunk,

331
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,261
playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds.

332
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,014
Let's go. I know where Sable is.
Get in the car, ladies.

333
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,724
Yeah, we're going right to the airport,
so grab a bag, grab a...

334
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,934
- A toothbrush or whatever.
- I'm good. Let's go.

335
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,269
- Really?
- Wow!

336
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,479
- That's gross.
- Well, he's gung-ho. That's good.

337
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,230
Hey, Rebecca,
we're gonna go get Sable now.

338
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:58,815
Who is Sable?

339
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,650
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

340
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,446
SABLE: I know you think
she's not cheating on me.

341
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:07,074
But what about the possibility

342
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,451
of her knowing that I'm following her
to Pilates class,

343
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,578
and on the days
when it's not Pilates class,

344
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,040
that's when she has all the free time
to ride random dick.

345
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,627
Okay, riding dicks.

346
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,922
Kevin, you're really focused
on other dicks.

347
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,549
But what about yours? What about you?

348
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,051
If you don't focus on the other dicks,

349
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,762
those dicks will plug up
the places you wanna go.

350
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:33,350
What about mentally
going into each of those holes

351
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:38,396
and unplugging every one of those dicks.
Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out.

352
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,483
And then you have a clear mind.
Dickless.

353
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,820
Well, I'm paranoid
that my original paranoia

354
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,363
might turn on my paranoia.

355
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:49,032
It sounds like there are
some fundamental trust issues.

356
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,784
You can't trust anybody.

357
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,285
I don't think anyone's out to get you.

358
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995
I don't think anyone is following you.

359
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,163
BOB: Ow! Stop!

360
00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:56,248
CHILLI: I can't take it anymore.

361
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,875
I can't take it. I can't listen to this.

362
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,043
Are you shushing me?

363
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,879
(PSYCHOLOGIST GASPS)

364
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,465
What the fuck?

365
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,343
- Oh, wow!
- How are you?

366
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,387
- Doctor!
- You're there.

367
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,389
Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.

368
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,682
Bob Callahan. How do you do?

369
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,225
- Sorry, this is a terrible idea.
- Who are you?

370
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,685
BOB: We're friends of Sable's.

371
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:17,811
(LAUGHING)

372
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,646
We thought it'd be really funny
to hide in there,

373
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,648
but then we overheard way too much.

374
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,317
Yeah, buddy, you're clearly
going through a lot of shit.

375
00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:25,819
All right, get here, man.

376
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,405
And, um, also, you're it, so...

377
00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:31,074
I don't care. I miss you.
How are you, buddy? Good to see you.

378
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,617
- I'm good.
- Yup.

379
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,077
- Now you're it.
- BOB: I know. I know. I'm it.

380
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,621
Anyway, yeah, we came to get you,
so come on.

381
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,956
- Sable. Come on.
- Come on.

382
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,917
I got 40 minutes left in the session.

383
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,295
- So what? This is important.
- Yeah.

384
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,423
Pack your bags. We're going home.

385
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,634
I don't have my bags here.

386
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,011
BOB: Yeah, we know.
HOAGIE: Obviously.

387
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,095
- For fuck's sake.
- I know that. It's just...

388
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,513
We will go by your house
and get your stuff.

389
00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:55,015
You should've just went to my house
in the first place

390
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,099
if we were gonna go to my house anyway.

391
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,143
- This seemed like a better idea.
- BOB: It was a whole bit! Let's go.

392
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,561
Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out.

393
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,104
Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour.

394
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,189
HOAGIE: Thanks, Doctor.

395
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,274
You guys aren't taking
my mental health seriously.

396
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,484
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

397
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,675
Look at those little assholes.

398
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,303
- (LAUGHING) Calm down.
- It's awful to be back.

399
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,596
It's gonna be fun.

400
00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:58,995
(SNIFFING) Ah! It still smells the same.

401
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,541
BOB: Uh... Here we go.

402
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,171
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

403
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,006
All right!

404
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,266
- (GROANS)
- Oh!

405
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:22,727
(GRUNTS)

406
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,646
CHILLI: Okay, yeah.

407
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,150
Oh, yeah, it's still there.

408
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,403
Guys, we're back in the war room.

409
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,738
You know what that means.

410
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,240
No, I don't know what that means.

411
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,326
It means we're going to war, Sable.
Now, just to be clear,

412
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,830
we're not gonna tag Jerry
at the actual wedding ceremony

413
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:44,499
because, frankly,
that would make us giant assholes.

414
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,001
I'm sorry. I thought that was
the whole point of this.

415
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,962
I took two weeks unpaid vacation
for that exact reason.

416
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,588
- Two weeks?
- Yeah.

417
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,299
I'm going zip-lining after this.

418
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,593
Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time
to get him before the ceremony.

419
00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:56,970
There's a rehearsal dinner.

420
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,932
There's a luncheon, photo shoot.
Just don't worry. We're gonna get him.

421
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,393
Very official plan. Who wants to smoke
some weed with me? Sable!

422
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,602
I'll take a toke.

423
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,396
What?

424
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:11,067
Yeah, I've been, uh, you know,
experimenting with pot recently.

425
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,028
Mostly medicinal, but hey.

426
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:17,198
I've wanted to get high with you
my entire life, Hogan.

427
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,325
(LAUGHS)

428
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,492
- Honestly.
- Let's do it.

429
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,369
- This is the best gift of all time.
- Okay.

430
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,749
This is exactly how I imagined it,
by the way.

431
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,335
- (LINDA SIGHS)
- (COUGHING)

432
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,919
(WHISPERS) Hoagie's mom.

433
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,590
I've got pizza rolls
for my pizza roll boys.

434
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,508
Ooh. Pizza rolls.

435
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,511
(SNIFFING)

436
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,555
Is that marijuana I smell?

437
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,681
(HOAGIE SNORTS)

438
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,435
No. What?

439
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:48,646
It's my pot. I'm really sorry.
I was smoking pot. It's an old habit.

440
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,483
Oh, so it's your weedie.

441
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,318
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

442
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,195
I think I'm getting a contact high.

443
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,363
- Okay.
- (SNIFFS)

444
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,074
Hits me deep. Below the belt, you know.

445
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,950
I've got a belt upstairs.

446
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,036
I use it on naughty little boys.

447
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,954
(BOTH LAUGHING)

448
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,165
What the fuck is going on?

449
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,042
I hope you don't hurt those boys.

450
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,544
- I don't mean to.
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)

451
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,381
It was really nice speaking with you.
Thank you for the pizza rolls.

452
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,551
Mom, stop flirting with Chilli.

453
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,596
Linda, have you seen Jerry lately?

454
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,348
I mean, do you still play tennis
with his mom?

455
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:24,891
Because we need to find him
before the wedding,

456
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,059
and we've got no clues.

457
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,019
I don't even talk to her.
I never see her at the club.

458
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,648
But I'm thrilled for Jerry.
Susan is such a nice girl.

459
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,817
- We just need the information.
- Yeah, we need to find him. Yeah.

460
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,111
Have you taken the guys
over to the Sandpiper?

461
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:40,448
Lou does nothing but talk about you
and the old days and Jerry.

462
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,867
You know, I think he's lonely.

463
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,453
Okay, that's not helpful. But it...

464
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,621
Oh, my God!

465
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:48,289
Lou knows everything
going on in this town.

466
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,333
Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper.

467
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,378
I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper.
I'm having a great time here.

468
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,630
I miss this basement.
We don't have any more beer.

469
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,090
Let's go to the Sandpiper.

470
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,639
(INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

471
00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:10,645
Lou!

472
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,731
Gentlemen! And ladies.

473
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,318
How are you guys?
Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft.

474
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,904
Lou, we don't give a shit about summer
stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.

475
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,615
Ooh, I hate to be the bearer
of bad tidings, Anna,

476
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,284
but you are technically
still banned from here.

477
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,578
HOAGIE: What? Still?
ANNA: What?

478
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,037
It was dollar margarita night, Lou.

479
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,372
Hey, I don't make the rules.

480
00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:30,665
Fuck you, Lou.

481
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,377
You know something about Jerry.
I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck.

482
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,796
I don't know where Jerry is.

483
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,173
Fuck you. Tell us.

484
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:42,218
- (STAMMERS)
- I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.

485
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,304
(EXHALES) How are you? How's your mom?

486
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:45,722
- Fantastic.
- ANNA: Oh, that's good.

487
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,056
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Tell her I said hi.

488
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,141
LOU: I will, for sure.
She'll love hearing that.

489
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,309
And fuck you.
I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.

490
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,768
- Okay, okay.
- We're gonna wait outside.

491
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,646
Look forward to catching up with y'all.
(LAUGHS) Whoo!

492
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:56,441
Listen, I'll tell you everything
you need to know about Jerry

493
00:21:56,608 --> 00:22:00,904
if you tag me just one time.
It is all I ask. I will spill.

494
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,322
Why can't I tag you?

495
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:05,992
Because I'm not officially in the game.

496
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:07,202
What's the good word, Lou?

497
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:09,537
We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old.

498
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,706
We grow old because we stop playing.

499
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,333
You are not part of this game.

500
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:14,501
- Benjamin Franklin.
- (CHILLI CHUCKLES)

501
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,169
- Lou.
- Yeah?

502
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,337
Where's Jerry?

503
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,088
I'm afraid I can't help you out
with that, boys.

504
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,882
- BOB: Really?
- Yeah, you see,

505
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:22,675
Jerry and I struck a little deal.

506
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,845
I say nothing about his whereabouts,
and then I get to play tag next year.

507
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,597
- Jerry made that deal with you?
- LOU: Oh, yeah.

508
00:22:27,889 --> 00:22:30,266
And I am unbreakable, boys.

509
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,727
Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain.

510
00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:35,271
The vault is closed.

511
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:38,441
Well, Lou, that is a real shame because
I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca,

512
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:42,070
who is writing an article about tag
for The Wall Street Journal.

513
00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:43,363
How cool is that?

514
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:44,614
CHILLI: So cool.
BOB: Isn't that exciting?

515
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,908
Is there any way
that Lou could be in your article?

516
00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:48,076
Oh, yeah.

517
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:49,369
Right? It's an interesting angle, right?

518
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,913
Probably has to be a story
for that to happen, right?

519
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,915
What do you mean,
there has to be a story?

520
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,501
Well, I mean, no Jerry, no story.

521
00:22:56,668 --> 00:22:58,044
You need Jerry for the story?

522
00:22:58,211 --> 00:22:59,921
Could you imagine that thing
printed out here, framed?

523
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,714
- Hanging on the wall? With this guy?
- CHILLI: Yeah.

524
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:03,007
Which will get published everywhere.
Everyone will see.

525
00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,842
- Nationally.
- Don't you wanna be in the article?

526
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,970
Yeah, dude.
I would love to be in an article.

527
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:08,846
Well, we're not gonna break
Fort Knox here.

528
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,098
Fuck, man. All right.

529
00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:11,975
- I was really excited about that story.
- BOB: Good to see you, buddy.

530
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,893
- Good luck, man.
- LOU: Look, look, look.

531
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,273
My mom talked to his mom,

532
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,693
and she said that the rehearsal
is at the Deer Creek Country Club.

533
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,027
- Deer Creek.
- There it is.

534
00:23:23,194 --> 00:23:25,071
Anyways, the name is Louis Seibert.
That's S-E-I-B...

535
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,407
- Oh, I'll remember that. Thank you.
- She's got a great memory.

536
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,075
Big Lou, thank you, buddy.

537
00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:30,785
- Thank you.
- LOU: Yeah, you bet.

538
00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:34,581
ANNA: Oh, hello, Ms. Rollins?

539
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,874
This is Margaret from
the Deer Creek Country Club.

540
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,711
I'm just calling to let you know
we won't be able to refund your deposit

541
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,255
since you canceled the rehearsal
on such short notice.

542
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:44,591
SUSAN: What? Oh, my God.
JERRY: I think you have a mistake here.

543
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,467
SUSAN: Uh, we didn't cancel
the reception.

544
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:50,930
I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked
something else in that time slot now.

545
00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:53,308
- (WHISPERS) A quinceañera.
- A quinceañera.

546
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,393
SUSAN: A what?
JERRY: The fuck's a quinceañera?

547
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,061
A celebration of womanhood.

548
00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,438
It's a celebration of womanhood.

549
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,148
JERRY: This is bullshit.
SUSAN: Oh, my God!

550
00:24:00,315 --> 00:24:01,524
We're coming to the club right now.

551
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,151
(ALL LAUGHING)

552
00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:10,241
(TIRES SCREECHING)

553
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,558
JERRY: Hello?

554
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,063
Hello?

555
00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,026
Hello, boys.

556
00:24:46,861 --> 00:24:47,862
Who is it?

557
00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:49,781
I am.

558
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,408
JERRY: Callahan approaches
from the left.

559
00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:57,288
Engage no-contact protocol.

560
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,000
No hand shall touch my body.

561
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:06,631
(GROANS)

562
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:10,551
JERRY: Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie
with his hand. Hoagie is now it.

563
00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:12,220
(SHOES SQUEAKING)

564
00:25:14,472 --> 00:25:15,473
Chilli.

565
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,309
He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion.

566
00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:21,229
Poor planning. Poor execution.

567
00:25:22,313 --> 00:25:23,731
(GROANING)

568
00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:25,441
JERRY: Piece of cake.

569
00:25:26,526 --> 00:25:27,652
I head for the door to escape.

570
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:29,070
Sable blocks it.

571
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,239
It's showtime.

572
00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:37,203
Hoagie has tagged Sable.
He is now fair game.

573
00:25:39,330 --> 00:25:40,373
I speedbag him.

574
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:46,587
(YELLING)

575
00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:55,596
(GROANS)

576
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,764
(LAUGHING)

577
00:25:56,848 --> 00:25:58,433
Jerry! You okay?

578
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,978
Oh, I've never been better.

579
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:04,772
Welcome home, boys!

580
00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:07,608
(JERRY LAUGHS)

581
00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:08,985
Hey, who's this with you?

582
00:26:09,152 --> 00:26:11,988
Oh, this is Rebecca. She's a reporter.

583
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:13,156
Very famous.

584
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:15,533
Did they, uh, mention that
I haven't been tagged in 30 years

585
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,034
'cause they suck at this game?

586
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,161
Extensively.

587
00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:19,662
Never been tagged. Just saying.

588
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:20,872
BOB: I can't believe you would rather

589
00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:22,707
not invite your closest friends
to your wedding

590
00:26:22,874 --> 00:26:24,000
than risk getting tagged.

591
00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:27,378
Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't you?
Right? I knew you'd come.

592
00:26:27,462 --> 00:26:28,963
SUSAN: Cookie, the valet needs the keys.

593
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,715
Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here.

594
00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:32,759
We didn't invite you.

595
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,969
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Uh, guys.

596
00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:36,804
This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride.

597
00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:38,556
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan.
- Hey.

598
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:39,849
- Hi.
- She'll explain why.

599
00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:43,102
It's just... (SIGHS)
I know it sounds really crazy.

600
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:46,439
It's just, everyone on my mother's side
have had May weddings,

601
00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:49,108
and I don't want
my wedding ruined over...

602
00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:52,528
I swear, I don't wanna be that woman,

603
00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:57,325
but I do feel like that woman is kind
of understandable in this situation.

604
00:26:57,408 --> 00:26:59,494
JERRY: Don't make excuses, baby.
You don't have to. Come on.

605
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,579
Look, I already broke a fucking window.
What are we gonna do here, guys?

606
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:05,792
- Amendment.
- Amendment.

607
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,043
Amendment. All right. Get in here.

608
00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:08,753
Truce. Truce, bitches.

609
00:27:10,463 --> 00:27:13,174
No tag at the rehearsal.
No tag at the luncheon.

610
00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:16,803
No tag at the dinner. And do not
even mention tag at the ceremony.

611
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,971
HOAGIE: Ceremony.

612
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,848
- We got it.
- Thank you.

613
00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:22,141
No way, I'm not signing this.

614
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:23,768
You're officially re-not invited.
How's that?

615
00:27:23,935 --> 00:27:24,936
Okay, then fine.

616
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:26,646
I'll crash your fucking wedding,

617
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,231
and I'll tag you
as you try to kiss your bride.

618
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:29,649
Hey, hey, hey.

619
00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:31,192
Look, Susan.
You seem like a lovely person,

620
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,069
and I'm sure this will all be fine.

621
00:27:33,236 --> 00:27:36,739
We just need to formalize it, something
we've been doing a long time and, uh...

622
00:27:37,949 --> 00:27:39,617
- Sign it.
- (CHUCKLES)

623
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:42,286
What the...

624
00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:44,622
"No mention of tag is..."

625
00:27:44,789 --> 00:27:46,541
- Ridiculous.
- It's unreasonable.

626
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:47,875
Thank you, guys.

627
00:27:47,959 --> 00:27:49,627
- (LAUGHING)
- BOB: Here.

628
00:27:50,837 --> 00:27:52,213
All right, boys.

629
00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:56,676
- All right.
- So good to see you, Bob.

630
00:27:56,843 --> 00:27:59,053
You know what? Don't touch me when
we're on a truce. It's very patronizing.

631
00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:00,888
Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.

632
00:28:00,972 --> 00:28:03,474
Well, it was really nice
meeting everyone,

633
00:28:03,558 --> 00:28:07,311
and I look forward to getting to know
you guys better this weekend and just...

634
00:28:07,395 --> 00:28:10,314
I don't know. I've just dreamt
about this day my whole life, so...

635
00:28:10,481 --> 00:28:12,233
- Congrats, Susan. We're happy for you.
- It's gonna be great.

636
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,401
Thank you.

637
00:28:13,484 --> 00:28:14,485
It's really good to see you, boys.

638
00:28:14,777 --> 00:28:15,778
Cheers.

639
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:18,656
Six tequilas, please.

640
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:23,995
- To Jerry.
- Wait.

641
00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:27,039
Oh!

642
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:29,750
So, boys, how did it go?

643
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:31,002
- Not good.
- So bad.

644
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:32,920
So, so bad.

645
00:28:33,004 --> 00:28:35,756
Did you guys just sign away
your chance to tag him?

646
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:40,511
Yeah, but we're still okay
because non-wedding times are fair game.

647
00:28:40,678 --> 00:28:41,971
We just gotta find the right window.

648
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,431
- What happened?
- BOB: He kicked our ass.

649
00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:45,725
- Well, technically, he punched my ass.
- BOB: Punched your ass.

650
00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:46,934
- HOAGIE: Repeatedly.
- Hard.

651
00:28:47,018 --> 00:28:48,603
Well, according to the bylaws,
that is highly illegal.

652
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,980
Except he didn't hit my asshole,

653
00:28:51,147 --> 00:28:52,440
- so it's legal.
- It's legal.

654
00:28:52,607 --> 00:28:54,191
Okay, what are you talking about?

655
00:28:54,525 --> 00:28:55,818
Here.

656
00:28:55,985 --> 00:28:57,194
Page...

657
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,030
Yes! Right there.

658
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:00,948
No asshole punching.

659
00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:05,328
Why would you play a game where
you're constantly punched in the ass?

660
00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:07,747
Fair question, Rebecca.

661
00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:08,915
Beep. I'll take this.

662
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,251
Tag is more than a game.
It's a way of life.

663
00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:13,502
No, buddy.

664
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,963
That's exactly right. You nailed it.

665
00:29:16,130 --> 00:29:18,257
Facial disgracial.

666
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:19,759
HOAGIE: Okay, Lou, thank you.

667
00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:22,345
We'll take it from here.
Uh... (CHUCKLES)

668
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:23,554
But he's exactly right.

669
00:29:23,721 --> 00:29:25,014
It's so much more than a game.

670
00:29:25,181 --> 00:29:27,934
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
Say I'm LeVar Burton.

671
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,102
HOAGIE: I was there
when Sable lost his virginity.

672
00:29:30,561 --> 00:29:32,188
SABLE: God damn it, Hoagie!
I was almost finished!

673
00:29:32,355 --> 00:29:33,356
HOAGIE: Get over here!

674
00:29:33,439 --> 00:29:36,275
And Callahan was there
when Anna and I had our first child.

675
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,777
(ANNA BREATHING RAPIDLY)

676
00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:40,613
Congratulations, buddy.
You're it. Doing great, Anna.

677
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,574
HOAGIE: And all the guys were there
for me when my father died.

678
00:29:43,741 --> 00:29:47,453
I think your dad would have
really wanted you to be

679
00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:49,789
- it in this moment.
- (ALL LAUGHING)

680
00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:53,459
HOAGIE: This game,

681
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,504
it's given us a reason to be
in each other's lives all these years.

682
00:29:56,671 --> 00:29:59,840
The last it from each season
will live in shame for one year.

683
00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:01,801
- So what happens if you lose?
- You lose.

684
00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:03,135
- You're it.
- What does the winner get?

685
00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,721
There are no winners. Just not losers.

686
00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:09,767
I would love to sit here and deconstruct
the spirit of competition with everyone,

687
00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,268
but Jerry's still on the loose,

688
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:12,728
and we've got to get him where it hurts.

689
00:30:12,895 --> 00:30:14,897
- Not in the asshole.
- Not in the asshole. Obviously.

690
00:30:15,064 --> 00:30:16,732
Oh! Guys, let's go to his house.

691
00:30:16,899 --> 00:30:18,275
He wouldn't be at his house.
It's too obvious.

692
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,362
Yeah, it's too obvious,
so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry.

693
00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:24,949
Maybe it's so obvious that
it's not obvious that he will be there.

694
00:30:25,116 --> 00:30:26,909
- So he's at the house.
- He's not gonna be there.

695
00:30:27,076 --> 00:30:30,413
If he's there, then it'll be obvious
for him to be there,

696
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:31,664
so he wouldn't be there

697
00:30:31,831 --> 00:30:34,709
because he would think that we would
automatically come there, obviously.

698
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,168
What?

699
00:30:36,252 --> 00:30:37,420
You know what? One way to find out.

700
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:38,587
Let's go.

701
00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:39,755
- It'll be obvious to...
- (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

702
00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:41,173
CHILLI: Come on!

703
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:58,482
(DOOR RATTLES)

704
00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:00,151
It's locked.

705
00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:04,947
(GRUNTING)

706
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,117
What do you see?

707
00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:09,285
It's nice.

708
00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:12,538
There's lot of attention to detail,
but not too overdone.

709
00:31:12,705 --> 00:31:15,374
Well, can you just unlock it?

710
00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:18,836
REBECCA: This is breaking and entering.

711
00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:21,088
No, it doesn't count
if you know the person.

712
00:31:22,757 --> 00:31:24,216
That is not true.

713
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:27,970
"Did you guys really think
I would be home?"

714
00:31:30,056 --> 00:31:31,057
Feels like a trap.

715
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:32,683
All right, let's split up.
We'll cover more ground.

716
00:31:32,850 --> 00:31:33,851
No, that's a terrible idea.

717
00:31:34,018 --> 00:31:35,519
SABLE: He'll never expect it.

718
00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:37,521
Now help me out of the door, please.

719
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:42,943
Jerry!

720
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,821
(WHISPERS) He's gotta be here.

721
00:31:45,905 --> 00:31:46,947
(BEEPS)

722
00:31:48,074 --> 00:31:50,576
- Have you ever even been here before?
- (SHUSHING)

723
00:31:56,874 --> 00:31:57,917
Ooh.

724
00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,752
Deviled eggs.

725
00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:03,089
Delicious. These go fast.

726
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,098
SABLE: What the fuck?

727
00:32:12,723 --> 00:32:13,808
Oh, man.

728
00:32:15,309 --> 00:32:17,144
Whoa.

729
00:32:17,228 --> 00:32:18,979
Jerry got chloroform?

730
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:22,983
What the fuck? He has stepped it up.

731
00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:26,987
Aerial maps of the city.
Bunch of blueprints.

732
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:29,782
Five different hats? Wow.

733
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,576
People change.

734
00:32:37,123 --> 00:32:38,124
(BEEPS)

735
00:32:40,209 --> 00:32:41,710
Did you...

736
00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:43,504
I didn't do anything.

737
00:32:47,049 --> 00:32:48,676
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

738
00:32:53,222 --> 00:32:56,767
Who is that scampering around my house?

739
00:32:56,934 --> 00:32:59,979
Hello, boys, did you really think
I'd go home?

740
00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:01,438
- You idiots.
- I knew it.

741
00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,691
- It's too obvious.
- Yep.

742
00:33:03,858 --> 00:33:05,359
I mean, that's just a lucky guess.

743
00:33:05,526 --> 00:33:06,527
Okay, Jerry, where are you?

744
00:33:06,694 --> 00:33:07,736
You know, seeing you guys tonight

745
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,947
made me wanna take a walk down
memory lane.

746
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:11,490
Ta-da!

747
00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:12,992
- Is that your...
- That's my bedroom.

748
00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:14,827
You're at my parents' house.
Why are you at my parents' house?

749
00:33:14,994 --> 00:33:16,328
It's a little smaller than I remember.

750
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,997
You broke into my house!

751
00:33:18,164 --> 00:33:19,456
We broke into his house.

752
00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,250
Yeah, we broke into your house.

753
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:22,960
JERRY: Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag.

754
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:25,171
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Hoagie, I miss you so much!

755
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,714
What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles?

756
00:33:26,881 --> 00:33:28,048
(IN NORMAL VOICE) This little guy
got you through

757
00:33:28,132 --> 00:33:29,383
a lot of troubles in life, didn't he?

758
00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:30,926
All right, Jerry.

759
00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:32,428
(JERRY LAUGHING)

760
00:33:32,845 --> 00:33:34,597
Let's see where this one goes.

761
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,141
Mr. Stubbles has something to say.
What was that?

762
00:33:37,308 --> 00:33:40,144
He says that his skin's very dry.
It needs to be moisturized.

763
00:33:40,311 --> 00:33:42,980
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles.
So help me God.

764
00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:45,900
What's happening here?

765
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:48,485
I think he's about to masturbate
in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.

766
00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:50,321
Oh, no.

767
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,406
It's the ultimate act of dominance.

768
00:33:52,573 --> 00:33:54,158
I'm gonna stay here until you come.

769
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,911
Unless I come first.

770
00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,371
You sly dog.

771
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,001
- HOAGIE: Go! Go! Go!
- Did you get him?

772
00:34:04,168 --> 00:34:05,920
HOAGIE: Start the car!
ANNA: I started it. I started it.

773
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:07,254
Everybody put their seat belts on.

774
00:34:07,421 --> 00:34:08,756
HOAGIE: Go! Go! Go!

775
00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:10,424
- Everybody in.
- ANNA: Hold on.

776
00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:12,426
- Is everybody in?
- (TIRES SCREECHING)

777
00:34:16,138 --> 00:34:18,766
JERRY: This is gonna be nice and smooth,
Mr. Stubbies.

778
00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:20,726
This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever.

779
00:34:20,893 --> 00:34:23,437
Stay put. We're coming for you.
We're coming for you.

780
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:26,815
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up!

781
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,734
Mr. Stubbles is not into you.
He can't be into you.

782
00:34:28,901 --> 00:34:31,070
He's not a sexual being, okay?
So put him down!

783
00:34:31,153 --> 00:34:32,988
(JERRY LAUGHING)

784
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,495
Hey, team.

785
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:46,001
(LAUGHING)

786
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:49,255
Jerry, how are you in my room right now?

787
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:50,673
We're all in my room.

788
00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:54,343
No, of course I'm not there. I'm here.
In my basement.

789
00:34:54,677 --> 00:34:55,678
Where are you guys?

790
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,013
HOAGIE: Are you fucking kidding me?

791
00:34:58,180 --> 00:35:01,141
CHILLI: He built a replica
of your bedroom in his basement?

792
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,643
Good night, gentlemen.

793
00:35:06,188 --> 00:35:07,189
(SIGHS)

794
00:35:07,273 --> 00:35:09,108
(TV PLAYING)

795
00:35:11,402 --> 00:35:13,821
Ah, amateurs.

796
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,282
REBECCA: Let's begin. Um...

797
00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:19,034
So kind of a rough start.

798
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:22,121
That was pretty standard, actually.
Yeah, Jerry's extreme.

799
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:25,082
The masturbation was fake,
but the pleasure was real.

800
00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:27,876
I mean, I've said it before,
but we're not gonna tag him because,

801
00:35:28,419 --> 00:35:30,754
you know, he's better at tag
than us. (CHUCKLES)

802
00:35:30,921 --> 00:35:32,840
I'm obviously going to be the one
that tags Jerry.

803
00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:36,260
I've been working
with this Japanese guy. Sensei.

804
00:35:36,427 --> 00:35:38,929
He knows zero karate.

805
00:35:39,096 --> 00:35:41,807
Oh, he doesn't know karate.
He's claiming to know karate?

806
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,394
He doesn't know karate.
I don't think he knows karate.

807
00:35:45,561 --> 00:35:48,605
Well, then what does he call it when
I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?

808
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:51,066
Callahan and Chilli did get in a
huge fight sophomore year of high school

809
00:35:51,233 --> 00:35:56,113
and Callahan did just tag Chilli
with a beautiful roundhouse kick.

810
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,825
But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan
kicked him... (CLEARS THROAT)

811
00:35:59,992 --> 00:36:01,243
He shit in his pants!

812
00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:03,162
Yeah, okay, that never happened.

813
00:36:03,329 --> 00:36:06,415
And it's nice to actually get
an opportunity to address it directly.

814
00:36:06,582 --> 00:36:07,750
By all means. I'm all ears.

815
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:11,253
I mean, I was very sweaty.
It was warm out.

816
00:36:11,462 --> 00:36:15,507
The sweaty ass defense?
He's been banging that drum for years.

817
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,593
Hottest October on record, if I recall.
Look it up.

818
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,178
Wall Street Journal,
you have fact checkers

819
00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:20,721
for this exact scenario, right?

820
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,765
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

821
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,808
While you're at it,
can you have the fact checkers look into

822
00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,895
if The Maury Povich Show is staged?
'Cause it feels staged,

823
00:36:28,062 --> 00:36:30,022
but he swears it's not staged.

824
00:36:30,189 --> 00:36:32,733
But they do the exact same thing
every time.

825
00:36:33,609 --> 00:36:34,943
What?

826
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,200
- (BOTTLES CLATTERING)
- Ah!

827
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,375
(SNORING)

828
00:36:49,458 --> 00:36:53,837
(WHISPERING) Sable, I know where
Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.

829
00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,006
Okay.

830
00:36:57,466 --> 00:37:00,594
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.

831
00:37:00,761 --> 00:37:01,970
All right, see you soon, babe.

832
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:05,307
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud?
Good to see you.

833
00:37:05,474 --> 00:37:06,683
ROB: You, too, man.

834
00:37:07,101 --> 00:37:08,811
Gloria, ma'am.

835
00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,187
- BOY: My balloon!
- Whoa!

836
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:12,981
Hey, this must be yours, buddy.

837
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,149
Thanks, mister.

838
00:37:14,316 --> 00:37:15,401
Oh, look at that.
You gonna eat that whole thing?

839
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:18,362
You know what? You should consider
some alternative snacks.

840
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,697
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

841
00:37:23,242 --> 00:37:25,452
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)

842
00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:30,249
Oh. Excuse me, ma'am.

843
00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:32,292
You dropped your...

844
00:37:33,794 --> 00:37:35,421
Men's athletic crossover-style boot,

845
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:37,131
size nine and a half.

846
00:37:37,631 --> 00:37:39,466
Suggests a man
that is neither fashionable

847
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,427
nor athletic.

848
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:42,594
Hoagie.

849
00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:50,144
- (CRACKS NECK)
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

850
00:37:50,561 --> 00:37:52,146
(YELLING)

851
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:54,148
JERRY: Little does Hoagie know

852
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:57,025
I've been teaching a women's
self-defense boot camp for six years.

853
00:37:57,943 --> 00:37:59,153
First defense 101.

854
00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,612
Class is in session.

855
00:38:01,864 --> 00:38:02,906
(HOAGIE GROANS)

856
00:38:10,831 --> 00:38:11,957
Holy shit!

857
00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:18,422
(HOAGIE GROANS)

858
00:38:29,391 --> 00:38:30,434
(YELPS)

859
00:38:32,853 --> 00:38:33,937
(GROANS)

860
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:35,981
(MUSIC STOPS)

861
00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:39,985
Hmm.

862
00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:41,528
(MUSIC RESUMES)

863
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:43,739
(HOAGIE YELLING)

864
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:48,202
(GROANS)

865
00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:53,499
- You're done, Hoagie.
- Never!

866
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:54,666
You're done.

867
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:55,834
Never!

868
00:38:55,918 --> 00:38:57,044
(GRUNTING)

869
00:38:58,128 --> 00:39:00,088
- All right, I'm done.
- (CHUCKLES)

870
00:39:00,172 --> 00:39:02,925
Dude, you look amazing, by the way.
You've really upped your game!

871
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:04,760
How'd you know I was gonna be here?

872
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,428
Aha! Surprised you, right?

873
00:39:07,054 --> 00:39:08,847
I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor

874
00:39:08,931 --> 00:39:10,015
when we broke into your house
the other night.

875
00:39:13,018 --> 00:39:14,019
Impressive.

876
00:39:14,186 --> 00:39:15,479
I'm taking you down, Jerry.

877
00:39:15,646 --> 00:39:17,523
Well, we both know
that's never gonna happen.

878
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,650
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me.

879
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:21,944
Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in.

880
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,529
Hey, Jerry.

881
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,113
This old lady bothering you?

882
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,699
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man.
Everything's all right.

883
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,076
It's just a friend of mine.

884
00:39:29,243 --> 00:39:30,452
Hey, it's good to see you.
Looking good, brother.

885
00:39:30,577 --> 00:39:32,621
- My man.
- JERRY: Yeah, staying in shape.

886
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:35,958
- What the fuck?
- (LAUGHING)

887
00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,252
All right, well, maybe
I'll call the police. All right?

888
00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:40,379
This is assault.
You willing to go to jail for this?

889
00:39:40,963 --> 00:39:42,631
Oh, you're goddamn right, I am.

890
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:48,387
Okay, then maybe I will cause
a big scene and get arrested also.

891
00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:51,056
Then, once we both get to jail,
I'll just...

892
00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:52,349
What? Bribe a guard?

893
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:54,935
Be put in my cell? Yeah, I figured
you'd say that. It's pretty obvious.

894
00:39:55,102 --> 00:39:57,145
Hoag, you have to realize
that's gonna take hours,

895
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:58,564
during which time

896
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,440
I'll have fashioned
a shiv from my toothbrush

897
00:40:00,524 --> 00:40:01,942
and used it to murder my cellmate.

898
00:40:02,109 --> 00:40:03,235
You'd just shiv your cellmate?

899
00:40:03,402 --> 00:40:05,862
Don't worry. He's a bad person
who's done terrible things,

900
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:07,030
so justice is served.

901
00:40:07,281 --> 00:40:08,282
Okay.

902
00:40:08,365 --> 00:40:10,325
It gets me thrown in solitary
confinement, which is what I want.

903
00:40:10,701 --> 00:40:13,662
Out of reach. Completely untaggable.

904
00:40:13,829 --> 00:40:15,289
Damn, you have thought this through.

905
00:40:15,372 --> 00:40:16,832
(LAUGHING)

906
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,125
Pretty good, right?

907
00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:20,168
Look, understand two things, Hoagie.

908
00:40:21,253 --> 00:40:23,046
First, you're not gonna screw up
this wedding. Okay?

909
00:40:23,213 --> 00:40:26,216
And secondly,
I will never let you tag me.

910
00:40:26,383 --> 00:40:28,594
You're gonna die before that ever
happens. You understand that, right?

911
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,306
I don't fear death, Jerry.
And I'm not gonna give this up

912
00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:33,599
till I die.

913
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,310
Okay. Good luck.

914
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:47,904
See you at the rehearsal, Jerry.

915
00:40:50,616 --> 00:40:52,743
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

916
00:40:53,327 --> 00:40:56,538
Mmm! These hushpuppies are insane.

917
00:40:56,622 --> 00:40:57,623
All right, listen.

918
00:40:57,706 --> 00:41:01,960
T-minus 34 minutes until this rehearsal
dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game.

919
00:41:02,044 --> 00:41:04,755
There's four of us. There's four exits.
Let's fan out and trap this rat.

920
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,173
Okay? Synchronize your watches.

921
00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:08,133
- I don't know how to do that.
- I don't wear a watch.

922
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:10,177
Time is a construct.

923
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,929
Okay, uh, 5:00.

924
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,723
Could have said that at the beginning.

925
00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:16,266
Well, we said it now.

926
00:41:16,433 --> 00:41:18,935
- 5:00, how hard is that?
- 5:00, yeah, it's easy.

927
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,063
- Hi, guys. How are you?
- How are you?

928
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:22,606
Sorry about the other night.
That wasn't...

929
00:41:22,773 --> 00:41:23,899
- SUSAN: Oh!
- Yeah, that wasn't cool.

930
00:41:24,066 --> 00:41:26,193
No. I mean, listen,
I know it's not just you guys.

931
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,403
I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you.

932
00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:30,155
He's very competitive.

933
00:41:30,322 --> 00:41:31,531
When we were kids, we had a contest

934
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:34,201
to see who could hold their breath
for the longest underwater.

935
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:36,370
He almost died.

936
00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:39,206
He won, but at what cost? Really?

937
00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:43,377
Oh, I hope he's this competitive
when it comes to being a father.

938
00:41:44,461 --> 00:41:45,462
Are you pregnant?

939
00:41:46,046 --> 00:41:48,173
- Really?
- Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.

940
00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:49,633
- Oh, my gosh!
- SUSAN: I know.

941
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,093
- Here, cheers!
- Congratulations, that's great!

942
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:52,386
- Cheers, thank you!
- Oh, my gosh!

943
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:53,845
- That's such good news.
- Thank you. Yeah.

944
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,889
- We're not telling that many people.
- Okay.

945
00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:58,016
Listen, I know
it's gonna get a little wacky

946
00:41:58,183 --> 00:41:59,685
over the next couple of days
with you guys.

947
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,520
- Sure the fuck is, yeah.
- SUSAN: Okay.

948
00:42:01,603 --> 00:42:04,106
(LAUGHING) Just don't go too far

949
00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,484
and go out there and play golf.
It's amazing. Do something fun.

950
00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:10,070
- Okay? Okay. Bye, guys.
- See you.

951
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,531
I like her.
She has a beautiful personality.

952
00:42:12,698 --> 00:42:14,574
Very effervescent. Good energy.
Good vibes.

953
00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:16,159
Ah, don't believe a word
she fucking says.

954
00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:17,619
She's a hired hand. She's an actress.

955
00:42:17,828 --> 00:42:19,621
- What?
- I mean, look at this son of a bitch.

956
00:42:19,788 --> 00:42:21,665
- This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh.
- That's, like, her uncle.

957
00:42:21,832 --> 00:42:23,875
- It's the fucking Truman Show.
- Will you stop?

958
00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:26,294
The whole thing. Jerry set it up.
I guarantee it.

959
00:42:26,378 --> 00:42:28,130
Every single person here has been hired.

960
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:29,589
You have gotta calm down.

961
00:42:29,673 --> 00:42:32,676
Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife.

962
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:36,096
Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?

963
00:42:41,935 --> 00:42:43,228
Oh, yeah. Good. Hey!

964
00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:44,938
- You invited her?
- Yeah, of course.

965
00:42:45,105 --> 00:42:46,106
What?

966
00:42:46,273 --> 00:42:47,983
What? We're all old friends.

967
00:42:48,650 --> 00:42:49,651
Makes sense.

968
00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:51,027
I'm not buying this.

969
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,240
Is that, uh...

970
00:42:55,407 --> 00:42:57,033
BOB: Cheryl Deakins.

971
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,243
CHILLI: You know she was coming, Bob?

972
00:42:58,577 --> 00:43:00,412
- I did not.
- I didn't either.

973
00:43:00,579 --> 00:43:01,580
She looks good.

974
00:43:01,747 --> 00:43:03,331
- Great. She always does.
- Yeah.

975
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:05,333
CHILLI: Wow!

976
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,627
Uh, who is Cheryl Deakins?

977
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:10,630
Is she like the Yoko or something?

978
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,340
I don't get that reference,

979
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,343
but she's someone whose presence
causes strain on our group.

980
00:43:15,886 --> 00:43:17,596
We've known her since grade school.

981
00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:22,601
She was the first girl that Chilli
and Callahan had a crush on.

982
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:25,896
When we were kids,
Cheryl was into Chilli,

983
00:43:26,188 --> 00:43:28,690
much to Callahan's chagrin.

984
00:43:28,857 --> 00:43:31,067
But young love is unpredictable.

985
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:34,196
Later that same year, she decided
she was into Callahan,

986
00:43:34,488 --> 00:43:36,782
much to Chilli's chagrin.

987
00:43:37,491 --> 00:43:40,702
But she always had
a place in her heart for Chilli.

988
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:50,796
And this went on for decades.

989
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,131
And all of a sudden,
she just married an orthodontist.

990
00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:54,216
Huh.

991
00:43:55,342 --> 00:43:56,593
They get all the chicks.

992
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:57,677
What?

993
00:43:57,761 --> 00:43:59,221
How long has it been
since you've seen her?

994
00:43:59,387 --> 00:44:01,139
About 10 years for me. How about you?

995
00:44:01,765 --> 00:44:02,974
Same, I guess.

996
00:44:04,434 --> 00:44:05,894
- Been a while.
- CHILLI: Sure has.

997
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:07,813
You sneaky trickster.

998
00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:10,774
She looks amazing, and you know it.
Think about this.

999
00:44:10,941 --> 00:44:14,319
What if Cheryl ended up getting back
together with our boy?

1000
00:44:14,486 --> 00:44:15,779
- Chilli?
- Callahan?

1001
00:44:15,946 --> 00:44:17,072
Obviously.

1002
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:18,365
- Wait. What?
- Duh.

1003
00:44:18,532 --> 00:44:19,950
- Did you say Chilli?
- You're Team Callahan?

1004
00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:21,993
- Yeah!
- We've been married all this time,

1005
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,495
and you think she should end up
with Callahan?

1006
00:44:23,662 --> 00:44:25,997
Of course. Wait, you think Chilli?

1007
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,625
Wait, do you know those guys at all?

1008
00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:30,210
Who are you right now?

1009
00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,294
- What?
- You're freaking me out.

1010
00:44:31,378 --> 00:44:32,379
I feel like I don't even know you.

1011
00:44:32,504 --> 00:44:33,922
You're like this foreign person.

1012
00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:38,218
Do you want me to be a foreign person?

1013
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:39,761
What?

1014
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:41,972
Here? Right now?

1015
00:44:42,055 --> 00:44:43,473
Because, um...

1016
00:44:43,557 --> 00:44:45,600
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) I just got lost
on the way to bibliothèque,

1017
00:44:45,767 --> 00:44:47,978
and I don't know
where all my other French friends are.

1018
00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:49,187
Chantelle is here?

1019
00:44:49,354 --> 00:44:50,564
Chantelle is here with...

1020
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:51,731
HOAGIE: Oh, my God!

1021
00:44:55,068 --> 00:44:56,820
(IN NORMAL ACCENT)
Honey, it's almost 5:00.

1022
00:44:57,654 --> 00:44:59,197
Keep your head in the game.

1023
00:44:59,364 --> 00:45:00,365
You're so good.

1024
00:45:00,532 --> 00:45:01,950
Come on, we'll go to the bathroom
for five minutes.

1025
00:45:02,117 --> 00:45:03,118
All right.

1026
00:45:03,285 --> 00:45:04,536
- It's crazy.
- Huh.

1027
00:45:04,703 --> 00:45:06,705
- Hey, you should go talk with her.
- No, you should go.

1028
00:45:06,872 --> 00:45:07,956
Neither of you should.

1029
00:45:08,665 --> 00:45:10,375
- BOB: Thanks.
- You're welcome. Neither one.

1030
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:11,918
Shut up, Sable.

1031
00:45:12,002 --> 00:45:13,378
No, honestly, it should be you, Bob.

1032
00:45:13,545 --> 00:45:15,088
No, I think she really
wants to talk to you

1033
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:18,091
'cause I think girls really like,
you know,

1034
00:45:18,258 --> 00:45:21,428
depressed guys that still have a name
for their bong.

1035
00:45:22,095 --> 00:45:23,930
(INHALING)

1036
00:45:25,557 --> 00:45:26,725
Get a good one.

1037
00:45:29,311 --> 00:45:30,729
This is gonna go great.

1038
00:45:31,605 --> 00:45:32,689
- Thank you.
- (COUGHS)

1039
00:45:32,856 --> 00:45:34,566
All right, good advice.

1040
00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:37,193
Good luck.

1041
00:45:38,570 --> 00:45:40,196
Tell her I said hi.

1042
00:45:44,534 --> 00:45:45,535
CHILLI: Cheryl Deakins.

1043
00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:47,704
Chilli Cilliano.

1044
00:45:48,038 --> 00:45:49,205
How'd you know it was me?

1045
00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:52,208
I'd know that faint smell of sativa
and Old Spice anywhere.

1046
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:54,127
Yeah. I had to get a little stoned.

1047
00:45:54,294 --> 00:45:56,212
I can't be sober at these things.
They're awful.

1048
00:45:56,296 --> 00:45:57,297
(CHERYL LAUGHS)

1049
00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:58,924
That was the wrong choice, man.

1050
00:45:59,299 --> 00:46:00,300
What?

1051
00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:04,471
Neither of you should have gone,
but if one of you should have went,

1052
00:46:04,638 --> 00:46:05,972
then it should have been you.

1053
00:46:06,348 --> 00:46:07,641
How many wines have you had?

1054
00:46:09,351 --> 00:46:11,853
How many legs does an octopus have?

1055
00:46:12,771 --> 00:46:13,813
Well, eight.

1056
00:46:14,439 --> 00:46:15,607
(LAUGHS)

1057
00:46:16,608 --> 00:46:19,986
I see that you've been
rejecting fashion trends

1058
00:46:20,153 --> 00:46:22,948
and haircuts and maybe hygiene.
I respect that.

1059
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:27,577
Well, I think respect is the key to the
beginning of rebuilding a friendship.

1060
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:29,955
- Is that a saying? Maybe?
- Yeah, sure. Who said that?

1061
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:33,291
I don't know. I wanna hear
about this husband of yours.

1062
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:38,171
What's the story?
Is he still charming, sensible, rich?

1063
00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:40,507
No. Dead.

1064
00:46:40,966 --> 00:46:42,759
Yeah, same with me.

1065
00:46:42,926 --> 00:46:44,719
Dead to me. Divorced.

1066
00:46:45,637 --> 00:46:49,474
No, I mean he's "dead" dead.
He actually died.

1067
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:51,017
He's dead?

1068
00:46:51,935 --> 00:46:53,103
For real?

1069
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:54,604
Oh...

1070
00:46:54,688 --> 00:46:56,856
Yeah, he, um...

1071
00:46:56,940 --> 00:46:59,484
He died in a car crash.
We were separated already.

1072
00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:00,944
Oh, you already separated.

1073
00:47:01,277 --> 00:47:02,904
- Yeah.
- And now he's dead. He's gone.

1074
00:47:03,071 --> 00:47:04,155
- He's gone.
- Officially.

1075
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:06,908
Act a little more upset about it.

1076
00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:09,577
I know, but, anyway, how are you?
How's your life?

1077
00:47:09,703 --> 00:47:13,915
Great. I lost my business. Divorced.
Playing tag competitively.

1078
00:47:14,082 --> 00:47:15,125
Pretty much rock bottom.

1079
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,585
- Are you trying to make me horny?
- Fuck yes, I am.

1080
00:47:17,669 --> 00:47:19,045
- 'Cause it's happening.
- It is?

1081
00:47:19,129 --> 00:47:21,214
- Oh, yeah.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)

1082
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:22,382
(SIGHS)

1083
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:23,967
So have you tried the hushpuppies,
or what?

1084
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,427
What do you think they're talking about?

1085
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:27,220
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1086
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:29,431
I don't know, and I don't want
you to worry about it.

1087
00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:30,724
We've got 15 minutes.

1088
00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:35,311
Oh, Chilli, I think about you
all the time, Chilli.

1089
00:47:35,395 --> 00:47:36,438
(HOAGIE SNORTS)

1090
00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:38,940
JERRY: Oh, yeah? But what about
Callahan? He's so handsome.

1091
00:47:39,107 --> 00:47:41,359
He's very handsome,
but he's a selfish lover

1092
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:42,819
with a small dick.

1093
00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:44,070
Really?

1094
00:47:44,154 --> 00:47:45,488
JERRY: Plus he sobs after he comes.

1095
00:47:45,655 --> 00:47:47,032
- Okay.
- (IMITATES SOBBING)

1096
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:48,241
Wow.

1097
00:47:48,408 --> 00:47:50,910
It's okay, Callahan.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

1098
00:47:50,994 --> 00:47:52,620
Okay, you know what?
You guys are all 12-year-olds.

1099
00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:53,705
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, Chilli.

1100
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:56,458
SABLE: Hey, Cheryl, I want to reconnect.

1101
00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,086
Oh, yeah.

1102
00:48:00,170 --> 00:48:01,671
- What's happening now?
- Oh, Bob!

1103
00:48:01,838 --> 00:48:04,924
Yeah, I'm just...
Oh, I'm just feeling the vibes.

1104
00:48:05,050 --> 00:48:08,470
JERRY: I mean, who wants to have sex
with a guy named Bob?

1105
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:11,598
"Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right.
"Oh, Bob."

1106
00:48:11,765 --> 00:48:12,974
- "Oh, Bob."
- "Oh, Bob."

1107
00:48:13,141 --> 00:48:15,226
- "Bob. Bob, Bob."
- "Oh, Robert."

1108
00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:16,394
"Bob."

1109
00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:17,937
I wasn't gonna text you, you know?

1110
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,397
I didn't wanna mess with you
when you were married.

1111
00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:21,149
No, I think that's nice. Respectful.

1112
00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:22,609
If I knew he was dead,
I would have texted right away.

1113
00:48:22,776 --> 00:48:23,777
All right. Okay.

1114
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:26,362
- No! Please don't leave on that!
- No, it's fine.

1115
00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:28,364
We're good. We're good.
I'm just gonna use the ladies' room.

1116
00:48:28,490 --> 00:48:29,491
- I'll see you later.
- Okay.

1117
00:48:29,574 --> 00:48:30,575
- It's nice to see you.
- It's great to see you.

1118
00:48:30,784 --> 00:48:31,785
You too.

1119
00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:37,040
Widowed.

1120
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:39,501
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1121
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,101
Cheryl Deakins.

1122
00:48:56,643 --> 00:48:58,019
What are you doing here?

1123
00:48:58,186 --> 00:48:59,187
And where are the urinals?

1124
00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:00,980
Probably in the men's room.

1125
00:49:02,357 --> 00:49:04,234
- You haven't changed a bit.
- Thank you.

1126
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,735
No, that was not a compliment.

1127
00:49:05,902 --> 00:49:07,779
Well, I have matured.

1128
00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:09,280
Have you? Really?

1129
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,866
Because this old move where you
follow me into the bathroom,

1130
00:49:12,033 --> 00:49:13,451
it's exactly what you did
at junior prom.

1131
00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:15,954
It was a good move then,
and it's a good move now.

1132
00:49:16,371 --> 00:49:17,705
- Marginally nicer bathroom.
- Mmm.

1133
00:49:18,498 --> 00:49:19,499
Do you wanna get a drink?

1134
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,126
Uh, actually, I think
I'm gonna head home.

1135
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,377
Can I give you a ride?

1136
00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:24,379
- Sure.
- Great.

1137
00:49:24,796 --> 00:49:25,880
Right after we have that drink.

1138
00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:27,507
Oh, I see what you did there.

1139
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:35,140
Okay, guys. It's almost go time.
Is everybody in position? Over.

1140
00:49:35,515 --> 00:49:37,433
Sable is in position.

1141
00:49:37,517 --> 00:49:38,935
(COUGHING)

1142
00:49:39,394 --> 00:49:40,979
- HOAGIE: Chilli!
- Yeah. Let's get him.

1143
00:49:41,146 --> 00:49:44,232
HOAGIE: Callahan. Callahan,
do you read me? Over.

1144
00:49:46,276 --> 00:49:48,528
Callahan. Where are you, buddy?

1145
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,907
Callahan!

1146
00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:55,285
We got an unguarded exit, okay?

1147
00:49:55,952 --> 00:49:56,953
Hi.

1148
00:49:57,704 --> 00:49:59,247
Callahan!

1149
00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:01,749
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- (GLASSES CLINK)

1150
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,380
Go! Go! Go! Go!

1151
00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:08,464
Go!

1152
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,175
Not today, motherfucker!

1153
00:50:12,427 --> 00:50:14,095
Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it.

1154
00:50:15,889 --> 00:50:17,098
(WOMAN GASPS)

1155
00:50:19,392 --> 00:50:20,476
Go! Go!

1156
00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:22,896
- Come and get it, bitches!
- (ALL GRUNTING)

1157
00:50:24,731 --> 00:50:26,482
- Get in! Get in!
- We're close. We're close.

1158
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:28,026
Go!

1159
00:50:33,656 --> 00:50:36,284
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

1160
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,622
(LAUGHS)

1161
00:50:42,332 --> 00:50:43,708
- Hold on! Hold on!
- SABLE: Go, go!

1162
00:50:45,293 --> 00:50:47,253
Go faster! Go faster!

1163
00:50:47,337 --> 00:50:48,713
HOAGIE: Giddy up!

1164
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:51,090
We're coming for you!

1165
00:50:52,842 --> 00:50:54,844
CHILLI: Go, Hoagie, go!

1166
00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:00,433
(ALL SCREAMING)

1167
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:01,517
Jesus!

1168
00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:04,979
Incoming!

1169
00:51:06,564 --> 00:51:07,690
CHILLI: Son of a bitch!
HOAGIE: Come on!

1170
00:51:07,774 --> 00:51:09,234
CHILLI: Go! Go!

1171
00:51:10,652 --> 00:51:12,028
God, I wish I had my gun here.

1172
00:51:12,195 --> 00:51:14,322
There are so many good birds to shoot.

1173
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:15,490
(CLEARS THROAT)

1174
00:51:15,949 --> 00:51:17,283
So this is a vacation for you?

1175
00:51:17,450 --> 00:51:21,412
Yeah. I mean, some couples go
on cruises. Some couples go camping.

1176
00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:25,375
Some couples go to strip clubs
and have gangbangs,

1177
00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:27,293
and this is just what we do.
This is what we love.

1178
00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:28,878
This is our gangbang.

1179
00:51:29,712 --> 00:51:32,048
You know, it seems to me like
you'd be really good at the game.

1180
00:51:32,215 --> 00:51:33,216
- Why don't you play?
- Well,

1181
00:51:33,383 --> 00:51:36,344
they came up with the rules
when they were nine. No girls allowed.

1182
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:39,681
And to be honest, I can get a little

1183
00:51:39,764 --> 00:51:42,600
overly aggressive
and competitive sometimes.

1184
00:51:42,767 --> 00:51:44,435
HOAGIE: Come on, Jerry.
You're dead meat!

1185
00:51:44,644 --> 00:51:46,271
CHILLI: Yeah, kick his ass!

1186
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:48,147
Keep your eyes downfield!

1187
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:49,774
Cut across the fourth fairway!

1188
00:51:49,941 --> 00:51:51,776
Don't fuck this up!

1189
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:53,611
Yeah. Well.

1190
00:51:54,988 --> 00:51:57,532
Oh, I have to show you
pictures of our kids.

1191
00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,075
(HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

1192
00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:00,910
Go, go, go!

1193
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:03,913
Get him, Hoagie. Get him!

1194
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,248
Hold on. Hold on.

1195
00:52:06,249 --> 00:52:08,209
CHILLI: (YELPS) Hoagie, stop!

1196
00:52:09,085 --> 00:52:11,546
- Hoagie, what are you doing?
- I can't see!

1197
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:12,714
(SCREAMS)

1198
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:19,345
(GROANING)

1199
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:23,182
Ahh! (SHUDDERS) Whoo!

1200
00:52:23,683 --> 00:52:24,851
(GROANS)

1201
00:52:24,934 --> 00:52:25,935
Everybody good?

1202
00:52:26,019 --> 00:52:28,563
I'm fine. I'm fine.

1203
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,856
(HOAGIE LAUGHS)

1204
00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:31,774
Well, that happened.

1205
00:52:31,858 --> 00:52:33,401
- (SABLE GROANS)
- Onward.

1206
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:35,903
Let's get him.

1207
00:52:35,987 --> 00:52:37,238
Whoo! That was invigorating.

1208
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:43,786
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1209
00:52:47,332 --> 00:52:50,043
HOAGIE: Oh. (LAUGHS)

1210
00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:53,296
That is psychological warfare
right there.

1211
00:52:54,047 --> 00:52:55,048
CHILLI: That's impressive.

1212
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:56,257
HOAGIE: Yeah, that's a good move.

1213
00:52:56,424 --> 00:52:57,800
Good one, Jer!

1214
00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:01,304
(WHISTLES)

1215
00:53:01,554 --> 00:53:02,555
There he is!

1216
00:53:04,182 --> 00:53:05,433
Hello, boys.

1217
00:53:06,059 --> 00:53:07,310
(GASPS)

1218
00:53:08,144 --> 00:53:09,937
- What?
- (JERRY WHISTLES)

1219
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:11,522
HOAGIE: What the...

1220
00:53:11,606 --> 00:53:12,899
CHILLI: How's he doing this?

1221
00:53:13,066 --> 00:53:14,150
All right, Jerry, stop!

1222
00:53:14,317 --> 00:53:15,568
SABLE: He's multiplying!
It's happening!

1223
00:53:15,735 --> 00:53:16,736
- What the fuck?
- There's one!

1224
00:53:16,819 --> 00:53:18,738
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

1225
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:19,822
- (JERRY WHISTLES)
- One is there!

1226
00:53:19,989 --> 00:53:21,115
HOAGIE: Hey!
SABLE: What?

1227
00:53:21,491 --> 00:53:22,909
You guys, there's so many.
There's so many!

1228
00:53:23,076 --> 00:53:24,077
What the...

1229
00:53:24,494 --> 00:53:26,496
There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry!

1230
00:53:26,579 --> 00:53:27,705
Chilli, you're not even it!

1231
00:53:27,789 --> 00:53:29,207
(PANTING)

1232
00:53:35,922 --> 00:53:37,382
I'm on your ass!

1233
00:53:39,467 --> 00:53:40,468
Come on!

1234
00:53:48,184 --> 00:53:49,811
(WOOD CREAKING)

1235
00:53:49,894 --> 00:53:51,687
Oh, shit!

1236
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,398
Shit!

1237
00:54:01,322 --> 00:54:04,033
This is terrible. This is pure bullshit.

1238
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:05,201
We should not be here.

1239
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:07,787
This is getting way too extreme.

1240
00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,622
I need you to buck up, Sable.

1241
00:54:09,789 --> 00:54:11,040
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's stay focused.

1242
00:54:11,124 --> 00:54:13,793
Yeah, we bucked up
out of the goddamn golf cart.

1243
00:54:18,548 --> 00:54:20,299
(SNIFFS) You smell that?
Do you smell it?

1244
00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:21,759
It's Jerry. I smell him.

1245
00:54:21,926 --> 00:54:23,010
It's leaves and grass.

1246
00:54:23,970 --> 00:54:25,096
And centipedes.

1247
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:26,973
Just typical woods stuff.

1248
00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:29,434
He's close.

1249
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,768
I can feel it.

1250
00:54:30,935 --> 00:54:32,145
I can feel something.

1251
00:54:32,228 --> 00:54:33,729
- (TWIG SNAPS)
- (YELPS)

1252
00:54:33,813 --> 00:54:34,856
Oh, shit!

1253
00:54:37,525 --> 00:54:39,277
- Jesus! Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit.

1254
00:54:39,444 --> 00:54:41,446
- Oh my, God!
- Wow, that's crazy.

1255
00:54:41,529 --> 00:54:42,572
(LAUGHS)

1256
00:54:42,655 --> 00:54:45,283
Our friend is a psychopath,
and this is scary.

1257
00:54:46,451 --> 00:54:48,286
He got me. I'm down.

1258
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,080
This is on you now. Come here.

1259
00:54:51,873 --> 00:54:52,915
Let me tag you.

1260
00:54:53,708 --> 00:54:55,293
- Come on!
- (GRUNTS)

1261
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:56,961
All right.

1262
00:54:58,337 --> 00:54:59,338
(WHISPERS) I can see him.

1263
00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:02,842
He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out.

1264
00:55:03,009 --> 00:55:04,760
- Three o'clock. Got it.
- Three o'clock.

1265
00:55:06,679 --> 00:55:07,722
Sable!

1266
00:55:10,725 --> 00:55:12,101
That three o'clock.

1267
00:55:12,268 --> 00:55:14,228
- You didn't say which time zone, man!
- There's no time zones.

1268
00:55:14,395 --> 00:55:16,606
Why didn't you just point
the first time? Next time, just point.

1269
00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:17,940
It's that way. Go!

1270
00:55:18,107 --> 00:55:19,108
- Okay.
- Go, go, go.

1271
00:55:19,609 --> 00:55:20,610
Go, Sable, go!

1272
00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:46,511
(WHISPERS) I see you.

1273
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,056
Yeah, motherfucker.

1274
00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:56,270
You're it!

1275
00:55:56,354 --> 00:55:57,980
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

1276
00:55:58,064 --> 00:55:59,899
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1277
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,281
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

1278
00:56:08,658 --> 00:56:09,867
Oh, I don't like that.

1279
00:56:09,951 --> 00:56:11,786
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

1280
00:56:12,954 --> 00:56:14,372
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

1281
00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:16,457
(SHUSHING)

1282
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,292
Sleep.

1283
00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:22,004
(JERRY LAUGHING)

1284
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:24,882
(PANTING) Sable?

1285
00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:27,218
Sable?

1286
00:56:35,059 --> 00:56:36,477
(SNORING)

1287
00:56:41,691 --> 00:56:43,025
What happened?

1288
00:56:43,109 --> 00:56:44,318
Well, you got chloroformed.

1289
00:56:44,402 --> 00:56:46,028
Chloroformed? What?

1290
00:56:46,112 --> 00:56:47,905
Bob took our car,
and now we're in a Lyft.

1291
00:56:47,989 --> 00:56:49,115
We're going to the Sandpiper.

1292
00:56:49,699 --> 00:56:50,700
I don't wanna be it anymore.

1293
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:52,994
I don't wanna be it.
Hoagie, it's on you, bud.

1294
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:54,078
Now, what the fuck?

1295
00:56:54,161 --> 00:56:56,414
Wait. I'm confused.
What just happened in there?

1296
00:56:56,581 --> 00:56:59,125
Well, Jerry woke up early,
got some grounds crew

1297
00:56:59,292 --> 00:57:02,253
to go out in the woods, build some
snares and a swinging log trap,

1298
00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:04,964
and, uh, wear matching outfits
to act as decoys.

1299
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:06,340
Maniac.

1300
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:07,633
(CHUCKLES)

1301
00:57:09,093 --> 00:57:10,136
Are you okay?

1302
00:57:10,219 --> 00:57:13,306
Yes, yes. I am. I am... I'm good.

1303
00:57:13,806 --> 00:57:16,475
I am amazed that you're able to stay
so optimistic after all that.

1304
00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:19,145
Well, some have said
I am the heart and soul of the game.

1305
00:57:19,312 --> 00:57:20,521
No, you've said that.

1306
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:22,064
You're the only person
I've heard say that.

1307
00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:25,985
Well, technically "just me"
fits the legal definition of "some,"

1308
00:57:26,152 --> 00:57:27,778
so suck a dick.

1309
00:57:27,862 --> 00:57:29,363
- (SCOFFS)
- (LAUGHS)

1310
00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:32,408
Well, it seems like the game
has really kept you guys connected.

1311
00:57:32,575 --> 00:57:34,160
- Exactly.
- Well, except Jerry.

1312
00:57:34,327 --> 00:57:35,703
What? Don't say that.

1313
00:57:35,870 --> 00:57:37,371
How often do you see Jerry
outside of tag?

1314
00:57:37,455 --> 00:57:40,374
Hmm... Well, not super frequently, but...

1315
00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:43,085
I mean, would you consider that
a close friendship?

1316
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:47,840
Well, that's kind of a dicky question.

1317
00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:58,309
HOAGIE: Thank you.

1318
00:57:59,894 --> 00:58:03,773
All I'm saying is,
Callahan better fucking be here.

1319
00:58:07,860 --> 00:58:10,029
(ALL EXCLAIM)

1320
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:11,113
What's up? What?

1321
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,490
Look who decided to show up.

1322
00:58:12,657 --> 00:58:13,991
What? I had a business call
with Beijing.

1323
00:58:14,075 --> 00:58:15,076
Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.

1324
00:58:15,201 --> 00:58:17,787
Business call with Beijing? It would
have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there.

1325
00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:19,955
You doing business calls
at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning?

1326
00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:21,749
Why do you know so much
about Beijing time zones?

1327
00:58:21,916 --> 00:58:24,752
2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby.

1328
00:58:25,753 --> 00:58:27,546
Fair enough.
Okay, anyway, I have an idea.

1329
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:28,881
- Anybody want to hear it?
- Yes.

1330
00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:30,925
- What is it?
- Jerry's gym.

1331
00:58:31,384 --> 00:58:32,927
Someone there's gotta know where he is.

1332
00:58:33,094 --> 00:58:35,221
- I like this. That's a good idea.
- ANNA: Great!

1333
00:58:35,388 --> 00:58:37,223
- Up top! Buckle up, gang!
- Yes! Giddy up!

1334
00:58:37,390 --> 00:58:38,766
- HOAGIE: You're it, by the way.
- What's wrong?

1335
00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,601
- My fucking knee.
- What's wrong with your knee?

1336
00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:41,769
I got hit by a log.

1337
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:42,937
You got hit by a log, what?

1338
00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:45,064
We were chasing him. I got hit
by a fucking log. It really hurts.

1339
00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:47,525
I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off
about this, but go.

1340
00:58:47,608 --> 00:58:48,943
You want me to call the pediatrician?

1341
00:58:49,068 --> 00:58:50,444
I'm an adult.
I don't need a pediatrician.

1342
00:58:50,528 --> 00:58:51,529
You're not coming?

1343
00:58:51,612 --> 00:58:53,656
I think I'm gonna slow you down.
Why don't you guys go?

1344
00:58:53,823 --> 00:58:54,990
After the gym, let's meet up.

1345
00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:56,158
All right, fine.

1346
00:58:56,325 --> 00:58:57,326
Trust me, I wanna go, but I just...

1347
00:58:57,493 --> 00:59:00,121
Y'all need a sub? Huh? I'm in!

1348
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:01,831
BOB: We're super good, man. Thanks!

1349
00:59:01,914 --> 00:59:03,666
- (GROANS)
- We're good.

1350
00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:06,085
Who's banned now, bitch?

1351
00:59:06,669 --> 00:59:10,131
(GROANS) I'm okay.
All right, guys. Take it easy!

1352
00:59:10,214 --> 00:59:11,298
Phew.

1353
00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,469
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1354
00:59:21,684 --> 00:59:23,477
Oh, that knee healed up fast.

1355
00:59:23,644 --> 00:59:25,271
Stay out of this, Lou.

1356
00:59:29,525 --> 00:59:31,485
LOU: Oh, you saucy devil.

1357
00:59:32,111 --> 00:59:33,571
(LAUGHS)

1358
00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:45,875
Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.
Get hard, stay hard.

1359
00:59:46,041 --> 00:59:49,003
Just so you guys know, we're going
to be closing in five short minutes,

1360
00:59:49,170 --> 00:59:51,172
but is there anything
I can help you with?

1361
00:59:51,380 --> 00:59:53,507
Yes, Dave, in fact, there is something
you could help us with.

1362
00:59:53,674 --> 00:59:55,926
How would you like to earn $500?

1363
01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:06,187
Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not
sucking your guys' dicks, all right?

1364
01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:07,980
And I'm not letting you
suck my dick either.

1365
01:00:08,147 --> 01:00:11,108
No one is talking about anyone
sucking anyone's anything.

1366
01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:14,278
You sure about that?
'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard.

1367
01:00:14,653 --> 01:00:15,654
What?

1368
01:00:15,821 --> 01:00:17,072
I'm just saying, man,
you've got that vibe.

1369
01:00:17,156 --> 01:00:18,741
- Yeah?
- Stop it.

1370
01:00:18,908 --> 01:00:20,242
Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.

1371
01:00:20,409 --> 01:00:21,577
- Just stop it.
- Stop it.

1372
01:00:21,786 --> 01:00:25,456
It's too sexual. You're undressing me,
literally, right now with your eyes.

1373
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:31,504
Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want
is to know where Jerry is.

1374
01:00:31,629 --> 01:00:33,047
Oh!

1375
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:36,425
Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.

1376
01:00:36,509 --> 01:00:39,804
He did mention that some people
were gonna swing by looking for him.

1377
01:00:40,054 --> 01:00:42,765
He left a message. Um, oh, yeah.

1378
01:00:42,932 --> 01:00:44,391
Go fuck yourselves.

1379
01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:46,852
Okay, look. $1,000.
All right? Easy money.

1380
01:00:47,019 --> 01:00:48,145
Jerry won't even know
that you sold him out.

1381
01:00:48,312 --> 01:00:50,189
I got a better idea.
Why don't you go back

1382
01:00:50,356 --> 01:00:52,691
to the little Best Western
that you're staying in

1383
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,944
and jerk each other off in the nude?

1384
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:57,279
Why do you keep taking this conversation
into a sexual direction?

1385
01:00:57,446 --> 01:01:00,533
Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot.

1386
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,868
Not a chance,
you dick-sucking homophobes.

1387
01:01:02,952 --> 01:01:04,245
- Hey!
- What?

1388
01:01:04,495 --> 01:01:05,496
Dave?

1389
01:01:06,622 --> 01:01:07,790
Do you know what we're gonna do?

1390
01:01:07,957 --> 01:01:08,958
What?

1391
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,964
We're gonna waterboard you.

1392
01:01:26,100 --> 01:01:27,601
BOB: Don't be a hero, Dave.

1393
01:01:27,768 --> 01:01:29,395
Jerry doesn't give a shit about you.

1394
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:32,106
So tell us where he is.

1395
01:01:32,565 --> 01:01:33,899
I'm never gonna tell you.

1396
01:01:34,942 --> 01:01:35,985
Last chance, Dave.

1397
01:01:37,820 --> 01:01:41,198
You're not gonna go through with this
for some game, so quit jerking me off!

1398
01:01:43,075 --> 01:01:44,076
Oh, Jesus.

1399
01:01:44,243 --> 01:01:45,786
No one's jerking you off, kid,

1400
01:01:45,953 --> 01:01:47,663
'cause Jerry has pushed us
to the fucking edge.

1401
01:01:47,830 --> 01:01:49,915
If you don't tell us
what we need to know,

1402
01:01:49,999 --> 01:01:51,625
you're going over the edge with us.

1403
01:01:51,792 --> 01:01:52,918
You ready to die for this shit?

1404
01:01:53,085 --> 01:01:55,212
I'd rather die than get sucked off
by you homophobes.

1405
01:01:55,379 --> 01:01:58,257
We're not gonna suck you off.
We're gonna waterboard you.

1406
01:01:58,424 --> 01:02:00,301
I'm just taking
a principled stand right now.

1407
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:02,720
Okay. Well, guess what.
Now, this is gonna happen. All right?

1408
01:02:02,887 --> 01:02:04,638
Are you ready?
I hope you can hold your breath, son!

1409
01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:05,723
Do it!

1410
01:02:05,806 --> 01:02:07,516
- BOB: 'Cause this is going right down!
- (YELLING)

1411
01:02:07,683 --> 01:02:09,602
- Yeah!
- Yeah! You son of a bitch!

1412
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:10,853
BOB: Here it comes!

1413
01:02:11,020 --> 01:02:12,187
ANNA: It's coming!
It's coming! It's coming!

1414
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,148
Yeah. You know, we should not.

1415
01:02:14,315 --> 01:02:16,483
I feel like it would be way too much.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1416
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:17,693
Phew. That got out of hand.

1417
01:02:17,860 --> 01:02:19,528
My heart is beating
really fast right now.

1418
01:02:19,695 --> 01:02:21,780
We were just kidding.
We were just bluffing.

1419
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:24,533
ANNA: No, we weren't fucking bluffing!
BOB: Anna, Anna, Anna!

1420
01:02:24,700 --> 01:02:26,827
- Oh, my God, no. Just, no.
- Sweetheart.

1421
01:02:26,994 --> 01:02:29,830
It's a war crime, right?
It's not really who we are.

1422
01:02:29,997 --> 01:02:30,998
Yes, sorry.

1423
01:02:31,165 --> 01:02:33,042
We got a kinky cat over here.

1424
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:34,793
- Okay.
- Fuck you, Dave.

1425
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,795
God, I love your passion.

1426
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,589
I'll tell you what.

1427
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,469
I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be

1428
01:02:44,303 --> 01:02:47,973
for $2,000. Cash. American.

1429
01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:49,141
- Okay, fine.
- No problem.

1430
01:02:49,308 --> 01:02:50,643
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?

1431
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:52,353
Why did you take us
down this whole road?

1432
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,188
Well, it looked like
there was room to negotiate,

1433
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,397
and I was all prepared to do that.

1434
01:02:55,564 --> 01:02:57,733
But then we went down
the whole torture track,

1435
01:02:57,900 --> 01:03:00,986
and I just dug
my heels in, philosophically.

1436
01:03:01,070 --> 01:03:02,696
I happen to be an objector.

1437
01:03:02,780 --> 01:03:05,199
- We are too, obviously.
- Not really.

1438
01:03:05,366 --> 01:03:06,367
It was a bluff.

1439
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:08,035
You know what?
You should probably not write this down,

1440
01:03:08,202 --> 01:03:09,328
and if it does come up,

1441
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:12,581
just mention that
we didn't actually waterboard him.

1442
01:03:12,748 --> 01:03:13,749
No waterboarding.

1443
01:03:13,916 --> 01:03:16,126
Just a lot of talk about
sucking each other's dicks.

1444
01:03:16,669 --> 01:03:17,670
Yeah.

1445
01:03:18,671 --> 01:03:20,005
Okay, look, you know what? Here.

1446
01:03:20,172 --> 01:03:26,220
I'm gonna give you $2,000,
and I'm gonna give you an extra $500.

1447
01:03:26,387 --> 01:03:28,430
You just carry around that kind of cash
all day?

1448
01:03:28,597 --> 01:03:30,599
You were mentioning something
about Jerry, I think.

1449
01:03:30,766 --> 01:03:34,103
Yeah, uh, Jerry is in AA.

1450
01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:36,814
- Wait, what?
- Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.

1451
01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:38,983
I know what it stands for. Wait, did you
guys know anything about this?

1452
01:03:39,358 --> 01:03:42,069
He goes there every morning
at a church on Brunswick.

1453
01:03:42,236 --> 01:03:43,946
Looking back, I can kind of see it.

1454
01:03:44,113 --> 01:03:46,573
I mean, the first step is recognizing
you have a problem.

1455
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:49,702
I'm just glad
he's getting the help he needs.

1456
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:51,996
Sorry, did you say
that church is on Brunswick?

1457
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:53,163
- Yes.
- HOAGIE: Okay!

1458
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,623
- Let's go! Clean up the water!
- Thank you!

1459
01:03:54,790 --> 01:03:56,125
So sorry.

1460
01:03:56,208 --> 01:03:57,418
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1461
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:59,878
I told you this wasn't gonna be just
another boring corporate profile, right?

1462
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:01,547
Right. This is definitely different.

1463
01:04:01,714 --> 01:04:04,216
And I know I'm no longer
the center of the story,

1464
01:04:04,383 --> 01:04:06,510
which is fine with me.
I don't mind giving up the...

1465
01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:08,012
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1466
01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:11,473
Bob, can I buy you a drink?

1467
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:13,350
Can you fucking believe this?
Hold on one second.

1468
01:04:13,559 --> 01:04:15,310
- Maybe...
- One second, one second.

1469
01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:17,312
Terrible experience.
So that we will never do it...

1470
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:20,983
Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this.

1471
01:04:21,150 --> 01:04:22,192
- How you doing?
- Good.

1472
01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:23,527
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're just catching up.

1473
01:04:23,694 --> 01:04:25,070
That's so nice. How's that knee?

1474
01:04:25,237 --> 01:04:26,989
- It actually does hurt.
- Yeah.

1475
01:04:27,156 --> 01:04:29,783
But resting and talking to an old friend
has actually really helped.

1476
01:04:29,950 --> 01:04:31,118
Thank you for asking.

1477
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:32,703
Hey, how was the business call
with Beijing?

1478
01:04:33,245 --> 01:04:34,246
- Super good.
- It was?

1479
01:04:34,329 --> 01:04:36,248
- Yeah, I got a lot done.
- Great.

1480
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,375
Oh, what, you think I faked
my business call to Beijing

1481
01:04:38,459 --> 01:04:39,668
like you faked hurting your knee?

1482
01:04:39,835 --> 01:04:42,171
You know what, dude?
I'm sick of this shit, Bob.

1483
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:43,922
- You're it. How about that?
- No! Pass.

1484
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:45,883
- You can't pass. And you can't tag back.
- You're it. I pass.

1485
01:04:46,050 --> 01:04:47,509
- Oh, my God.
- It's like literally the first rule.

1486
01:04:47,676 --> 01:04:49,094
- You're it! You're it! You're it!
- You cannot tag me back!

1487
01:04:49,178 --> 01:04:51,847
- I'll rewrite the fucking rule book!
- Shut up!

1488
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:52,931
Why're you acting like children?

1489
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:54,433
- 'Cause he started it.
- You started it.

1490
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:55,601
You literally started it.

1491
01:04:55,684 --> 01:04:56,727
- No, you started it!
- "Oh, my knee hurts."

1492
01:04:56,810 --> 01:04:57,853
What do you think they're talking about?

1493
01:04:57,936 --> 01:04:59,063
Are we off the record?

1494
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:00,564
REBECCA: Yeah, sure, sure.

1495
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:02,691
No idea.

1496
01:05:02,858 --> 01:05:04,401
CHERYL: You know what?
I shouldn't have come.

1497
01:05:04,485 --> 01:05:06,111
Jerry always gets in your head.

1498
01:05:06,278 --> 01:05:07,946
Did Jerry tell you to say that?

1499
01:05:08,113 --> 01:05:09,656
You part of the whole
Truman Show of it all?

1500
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:11,825
I mean, Jerry invited me
to the rehearsal dinner

1501
01:05:11,992 --> 01:05:14,578
because he thought it would distract
you guys, which it did.

1502
01:05:14,745 --> 01:05:18,290
But, um, I wanted to see you. So I came.

1503
01:05:18,373 --> 01:05:19,416
Sure.

1504
01:05:19,500 --> 01:05:20,501
CHERYL: Oh, my God.

1505
01:05:20,584 --> 01:05:23,962
You guys are fucking idiots.
Both of you. But I love you both.

1506
01:05:24,171 --> 01:05:26,215
I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later.
Or not.

1507
01:05:26,381 --> 01:05:29,551
- Cheryl...
- Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.

1508
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:32,221
Bye, Cheryl.

1509
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:34,264
Wow!

1510
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:35,432
What do you want?

1511
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:38,727
There's gonna be plenty of time
to get rejected by Cheryl

1512
01:05:38,894 --> 01:05:41,563
after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st.

1513
01:05:41,730 --> 01:05:46,985
So what I need you guys to focus on,
is the fact that we're a team.

1514
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,489
Right? We love each other,
and we love this.

1515
01:05:50,656 --> 01:05:54,576
Let's bask in that.
Stay focused on our mission. All right?

1516
01:05:54,743 --> 01:05:56,370
Let's get back on this horse and ride.

1517
01:05:56,537 --> 01:05:57,996
Let's get this asshole.

1518
01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:00,332
Lou, not part of it. Not at all.

1519
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:01,708
Now, shake.

1520
01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:03,794
Shake!

1521
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:09,216
All right. Now we got some work to do.

1522
01:06:21,645 --> 01:06:22,646
Got it.

1523
01:06:22,813 --> 01:06:24,648
Go get him, sweetie.

1524
01:06:25,691 --> 01:06:27,109
(BAG UNZIPPING)

1525
01:06:39,997 --> 01:06:41,123
Okay.

1526
01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,711
Hey, do you think we should talk
to Jerry about being an alcoholic

1527
01:06:45,878 --> 01:06:48,338
- before we get into all this?
- No.

1528
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:50,340
(SIGHS)

1529
01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:55,304
But now, I've been clean and sober
for almost four years.

1530
01:06:55,888 --> 01:06:59,474
Thanks to all of you
and that higher power. Amen?

1531
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:01,768
- ALL: Amen.
- Amen.

1532
01:07:03,562 --> 01:07:05,939
Jerry, you about ready to share?

1533
01:07:06,398 --> 01:07:08,233
Come on, y'all,
let's give it up for Jerry.

1534
01:07:08,317 --> 01:07:09,526
(ALL APPLAUDING)

1535
01:07:15,908 --> 01:07:18,327
- My name is Jerry.
- ALL: Hi, Jerry.

1536
01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:26,835
JERRY: The slight scent of weed. Chilli.
He thinks he's caught me off guard.

1537
01:07:27,419 --> 01:07:29,338
CHILLI: Oh, my God!
I've caught him off guard.

1538
01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:34,509
JERRY: He rushes in from behind.

1539
01:07:35,177 --> 01:07:37,471
Idiot. I give him a wake-up call.

1540
01:07:42,142 --> 01:07:43,518
(SCREAMING)

1541
01:07:43,602 --> 01:07:47,272
CHILLI: Hazelnut coffee?
What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?

1542
01:07:49,233 --> 01:07:51,818
Holy! Chilli! Hit me!

1543
01:07:53,028 --> 01:07:54,029
Get him!

1544
01:07:54,363 --> 01:07:57,491
HOAGIE: I'm going to trap him
and tag him in the face,

1545
01:07:57,991 --> 01:08:01,578
and yet, in my heart of hearts,
pretty sure it's not gonna work.

1546
01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,334
JERRY: Hoagie's attempts to face me fail
because he lacks confidence.

1547
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,254
Also, I think it's fair to say,

1548
01:08:10,963 --> 01:08:14,299
I'm fucking surgical
with these complimentary donuts.

1549
01:08:18,220 --> 01:08:21,807
REBECCA: And this is why
print journalism is dying.

1550
01:08:22,975 --> 01:08:24,059
(HOAGIE GROANS)

1551
01:08:25,060 --> 01:08:28,105
BOB: Yes! This is the moment
I've been waiting for.

1552
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,649
I'm going to be the one who tags Jerry.

1553
01:08:34,361 --> 01:08:37,197
JERRY: Callahan will become distracted
by his own arrogant thoughts,

1554
01:08:38,949 --> 01:08:39,992
which I will exploit.

1555
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,618
BOB: This will be my victory,

1556
01:08:41,702 --> 01:08:44,246
which makes sense
because success breeds success...

1557
01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:46,164
Oh, God.

1558
01:08:51,003 --> 01:08:52,504
- (CLATTERS)
- (BOB GROANS)

1559
01:08:57,551 --> 01:09:02,556
SABLE: How come "bi-weekly" means both
twice a week and every other week?

1560
01:09:02,723 --> 01:09:06,560
That's mad confusing
and it's just linguistically lazy.

1561
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:13,775
Oh, shit!

1562
01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:27,080
- Holy shit!
- Excessive.

1563
01:09:35,881 --> 01:09:38,216
Feeling trapped, Jerry?

1564
01:09:38,717 --> 01:09:39,801
No.

1565
01:09:39,968 --> 01:09:40,969
Nice.

1566
01:09:41,053 --> 01:09:42,220
(CHAIR CLATTERS)

1567
01:09:44,181 --> 01:09:45,182
HOAGIE: Holy shit!

1568
01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:48,393
No, no, no!

1569
01:09:49,895 --> 01:09:52,189
- No, no, no!
- (ALL GRUNT)

1570
01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:54,316
We got you, Jerry! You're trapped!

1571
01:09:54,483 --> 01:09:57,486
Five hours till your wedding!
We can wait it out if you can!

1572
01:09:58,236 --> 01:10:00,238
(WHISTLING)

1573
01:10:13,085 --> 01:10:15,921
Shit. You know what I just realized?

1574
01:10:16,088 --> 01:10:18,340
There's a lot of sacramental wine
and wafers in there.

1575
01:10:18,507 --> 01:10:19,674
He could survive for quite a while.

1576
01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:21,009
No, he can't drink.

1577
01:10:21,176 --> 01:10:23,261
- Yeah, but it's not real wine.
- Yes, it is.

1578
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:24,888
It's just grape juice. It's not wine.

1579
01:10:25,055 --> 01:10:28,767
I mean, I was once so fucked up
that I took a shit in my niece's crib.

1580
01:10:29,059 --> 01:10:31,436
- Oh.
- Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law.

1581
01:10:32,354 --> 01:10:33,605
So how long you been sober?

1582
01:10:33,772 --> 01:10:35,899
Oh, no, I'm not sober.
I'm high right now.

1583
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,401
I'm just here to tag my friend.

1584
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:41,738
Good luck with the sobriety, man.
That's cool. Definitely.

1585
01:10:41,905 --> 01:10:43,824
It's awful quiet in there.

1586
01:10:44,241 --> 01:10:46,034
You know what he's doing?
It's a classic ruse.

1587
01:10:46,201 --> 01:10:48,912
Make them think there's an exit
and he already escaped. Not buying it.

1588
01:10:49,079 --> 01:10:51,039
I buy it. I bet he has a secret door
back there.

1589
01:10:51,206 --> 01:10:53,208
Refrigerator turns into an elevator.

1590
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:54,292
What?

1591
01:10:54,376 --> 01:10:56,545
Takes the elevator down to the basement.
That's his lair.

1592
01:10:56,628 --> 01:10:58,338
- Different outfits, computer screens.
- What are you talking about?

1593
01:10:58,422 --> 01:11:00,632
- Cameras watching us.
- He's not Batman.

1594
01:11:03,802 --> 01:11:05,137
Told you. In there.

1595
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,388
What's it say?

1596
01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:10,851
- "Eat my dick."
- "Eat my dick." "Balls." "Ass"?

1597
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,060
"Butt."

1598
01:11:12,144 --> 01:11:13,186
"Ice cream."

1599
01:11:13,270 --> 01:11:14,271
- What?
- What?

1600
01:11:14,438 --> 01:11:16,815
Yeah, he's taunting me.
He knows I'm lactose intolerant.

1601
01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:17,899
(DOOR OPENS)

1602
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,902
What is going on? Where is he?

1603
01:11:21,695 --> 01:11:23,655
Where is he?

1604
01:11:25,031 --> 01:11:26,032
(GASPS)

1605
01:11:26,491 --> 01:11:28,076
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1606
01:11:29,661 --> 01:11:30,829
Jerry?

1607
01:11:30,996 --> 01:11:33,999
We're supposed to be getting
our wedding photos done in an hour.

1608
01:11:34,082 --> 01:11:35,459
What are you doing?

1609
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:37,335
- Come on out, Jerry.
- Jerry, you can come out.

1610
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,545
We're not gonna get you, Jerry.

1611
01:11:38,712 --> 01:11:40,255
JERRY: Babe, look, calm down.
Look, I'm sorry.

1612
01:11:40,422 --> 01:11:42,591
SUSAN: Shut up, Jerry.
I can't fucking take this, Jerry.

1613
01:11:42,757 --> 01:11:44,134
She can't take it. Come on out.

1614
01:11:44,301 --> 01:11:46,511
Honey, why are you playing this game
right now?

1615
01:11:46,595 --> 01:11:48,722
Why are you playing this game
with your friends right now?

1616
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,765
Why is he playing this game right now?

1617
01:11:50,932 --> 01:11:52,851
JERRY: Hey, babe, look.
You gotta calm down, okay?

1618
01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:54,561
SUSAN: Listen to me! It's very hard

1619
01:11:54,728 --> 01:11:57,898
because you have decided
to ruin everything.

1620
01:11:58,064 --> 01:12:00,150
And so have you.

1621
01:12:00,317 --> 01:12:03,278
With your stupid face,
and your stupid beard,

1622
01:12:03,445 --> 01:12:05,071
and your stupid glasses,

1623
01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,032
and that stupid jumpsuit.

1624
01:12:07,115 --> 01:12:10,035
(SHOUTS) There's only so much
a girl can take,

1625
01:12:10,202 --> 01:12:12,913
and then you want me
on top of that, just to... (GROANING)

1626
01:12:15,707 --> 01:12:17,334
Oh, my God. Are you okay?

1627
01:12:17,501 --> 01:12:20,754
- JERRY: Babe? Suz? Sue?
- Jerry. Oh, my God.

1628
01:12:21,129 --> 01:12:22,714
- Boo? Boo-boo?
- Sue?

1629
01:12:22,881 --> 01:12:24,591
Boo-boo? Boo-boo?

1630
01:12:24,758 --> 01:12:26,176
What happened? Wait, wait, wait.
What happened?

1631
01:12:26,343 --> 01:12:27,344
Susan, are you okay?

1632
01:12:27,511 --> 01:12:29,346
- Sit down, sit down, sit down.
- It's the baby. It's the baby.

1633
01:12:29,513 --> 01:12:31,473
It's finally happening. He's right here.
Who's it? Bob, tag him.

1634
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:32,807
- Are you kidding me?
- What?

1635
01:12:32,974 --> 01:12:33,975
There's something wrong with her baby.

1636
01:12:34,142 --> 01:12:35,852
There's nothing wrong with that baby.
It's a fake.

1637
01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:37,521
If you won't do it, then tag me.
I'm gonna do it.

1638
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,523
Oh, yeah. Fine.
You want me to tag you, then?

1639
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:40,982
Oops, I missed.

1640
01:12:41,149 --> 01:12:42,317
As usual, you're completely wrong.

1641
01:12:42,484 --> 01:12:44,444
This? You think I'm wrong?
This is so over the top!

1642
01:12:44,611 --> 01:12:45,779
This is obvious.

1643
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,697
(SUSAN GROANING)

1644
01:12:47,781 --> 01:12:49,157
Tag me, and I'll give him a hug.

1645
01:12:49,324 --> 01:12:50,659
And I'll say,
"If she's having a miscarriage,

1646
01:12:50,742 --> 01:12:52,077
"this is awful, and you're it."

1647
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:54,204
Are you kidding me right now?

1648
01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:56,498
You know what? This feels like a scene
from What Would You Do?

1649
01:12:56,665 --> 01:12:59,000
You get put in a precarious situation,

1650
01:12:59,167 --> 01:13:01,086
and you have to make the right decision.

1651
01:13:01,253 --> 01:13:02,295
It's all actors and cameras.

1652
01:13:02,462 --> 01:13:06,174
It's not great television,
but it hooks me in.

1653
01:13:06,341 --> 01:13:07,342
CHILLI: What?

1654
01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:08,802
- JERRY: Come on.
- (SUSAN GROANS)

1655
01:13:08,969 --> 01:13:10,470
All right, we're good.
We're gonna get to the hospital.

1656
01:13:11,763 --> 01:13:15,684
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need
anything I could easily...

1657
01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:17,269
You come near her or my baby,

1658
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:18,853
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.

1659
01:13:20,438 --> 01:13:22,190
This ain't no fucking game.

1660
01:13:26,736 --> 01:13:27,862
Uh...

1661
01:13:27,946 --> 01:13:29,447
I'm pretty sure it's real, guys.

1662
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,742
I will be so pissed
if she didn't have a miscarriage.

1663
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:33,910
Chilli!

1664
01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:35,328
We all would be.

1665
01:13:35,495 --> 01:13:36,871
- It's just a thing you don't...
- Say.

1666
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:38,373
It's implied.

1667
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:43,420
(CRASH TEST DUMMIES SINGING
"MMM MMM MMM MMM")

1668
01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:00,729
Hey, Linda. Namaste.

1669
01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:02,981
(DOOR CLOSES)

1670
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:04,899
Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up
for the wedding?

1671
01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:07,235
Not you, Chilli.
You're perfect. (CHUCKLES)

1672
01:14:07,819 --> 01:14:09,237
Thanks, Linda.

1673
01:14:09,404 --> 01:14:11,364
I don't think
anybody's gonna be freshening up.

1674
01:14:14,701 --> 01:14:16,578
Hoagie, you can't go looking like that.

1675
01:14:19,914 --> 01:14:23,543
"To everyone asking,
the wedding has been postponed.

1676
01:14:23,710 --> 01:14:25,754
"Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers."

1677
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,172
It's from Jerry's mom.

1678
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:30,258
- Well, maybe we're bad people.
- Maybe?

1679
01:14:30,425 --> 01:14:32,010
Yes, I think we definitely are.

1680
01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:33,094
We might be.

1681
01:14:33,178 --> 01:14:36,640
Tag used to be a thing
that made me really happy.

1682
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:40,268
But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad.

1683
01:14:40,435 --> 01:14:41,770
Shut the fuck up, Sable.

1684
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:44,939
Has anyone seen
the bridesmaids' Instagram stories?

1685
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:47,609
- Check it out.
- (SIGHS)

1686
01:14:48,234 --> 01:14:51,529
SABLE: "Wedding's canceled."
Sad face emoji.

1687
01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,324
"I can't wear the dress.
Such a pretty dress.

1688
01:14:54,491 --> 01:14:56,409
"So sad." Goodbye emoji. "Was it a..."

1689
01:14:56,576 --> 01:15:00,163
Really? Is there any chance
that all these women could post banal,

1690
01:15:00,330 --> 01:15:02,457
minute-by-minute moments from their day,

1691
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,668
with mind-numbing captions
at the same time?

1692
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,670
- Totally.
- Absolutely. That's all Instagram is.

1693
01:15:06,753 --> 01:15:09,130
- Yeah.
- I don't know about this, guys.

1694
01:15:09,297 --> 01:15:11,675
It doesn't feel right. I smell a rat.

1695
01:15:11,758 --> 01:15:12,801
That's what I've been saying.

1696
01:15:12,884 --> 01:15:13,885
I have been actually saying this
the whole time.

1697
01:15:14,052 --> 01:15:17,722
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on?
It's over.

1698
01:15:17,889 --> 01:15:19,724
But it's not. Now, come on, guys.

1699
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,351
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

1700
01:15:21,518 --> 01:15:23,019
- Bob.
- What'd I do?

1701
01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:24,270
Can I take a photograph of you?

1702
01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:25,814
No. Okay.

1703
01:15:25,897 --> 01:15:26,898
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- Cute.

1704
01:15:27,232 --> 01:15:28,608
I'm gonna set up
an Instagram account for you.

1705
01:15:28,775 --> 01:15:29,776
Please don't.

1706
01:15:29,901 --> 01:15:32,404
Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid
with a private Instagram account.

1707
01:15:32,570 --> 01:15:34,823
She's been wanting you to finger bang
her since the sixth grade.

1708
01:15:35,407 --> 01:15:38,118
If anybody's stupid enough
to fall for our request,

1709
01:15:38,201 --> 01:15:40,829
- it will be that dum-dum.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)

1710
01:15:40,912 --> 01:15:44,040
And sent.
All we've got to do now is wait.

1711
01:15:44,124 --> 01:15:46,292
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- And accepted!

1712
01:15:46,459 --> 01:15:47,919
- Really?
- That was weirdly fast.

1713
01:15:48,086 --> 01:15:49,337
Do not finger bang her.

1714
01:15:49,504 --> 01:15:52,257
Oh, my God. I was right.

1715
01:15:52,424 --> 01:15:54,551
- What? What are we looking at here?
- What the hell is this?

1716
01:15:54,718 --> 01:15:55,802
A wedding dress.

1717
01:15:55,969 --> 01:15:56,970
What the fuck?

1718
01:15:57,554 --> 01:15:58,930
They faked the fucking miscarriage!

1719
01:15:59,097 --> 01:16:01,516
No, no, no. Jerry's going down.
We're gonna destroy that wedding.

1720
01:16:01,683 --> 01:16:03,351
- CHILLI: Let's go!
- This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.

1721
01:16:03,518 --> 01:16:04,519
- Absolutely.
- (HOAGIE YELLING)

1722
01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:08,940
Hoagie?

1723
01:16:11,359 --> 01:16:12,610
Hoagie, what are you doing?

1724
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,070
HOAGIE: Damn it!

1725
01:16:14,696 --> 01:16:16,114
- Sweetie.
- Hoagie?

1726
01:16:16,281 --> 01:16:17,615
Be careful.

1727
01:16:18,575 --> 01:16:20,160
Should we stop him, or...

1728
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:22,537
I'm not getting near him.
He's swinging that bat around.

1729
01:16:24,038 --> 01:16:25,123
(HOAGIE YELLS)

1730
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:27,208
- Sweetie, that's your mom's.
- Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.

1731
01:16:29,586 --> 01:16:31,212
(PANTING)

1732
01:16:31,296 --> 01:16:32,714
(YELLING)

1733
01:16:35,425 --> 01:16:40,972
We lost! He beat us! The game is over!

1734
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:42,682
(PANTING)

1735
01:16:42,766 --> 01:16:44,392
We can't tag Jerry.

1736
01:16:44,476 --> 01:16:45,518
(STAMMERS)

1737
01:16:45,602 --> 01:16:49,522
It's just time for us to come to terms
with that. He's untouchable. That's it.

1738
01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:51,274
What do you wanna do?
You wanna just give up?

1739
01:16:51,441 --> 01:16:53,943
Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up.
It's time to give up.

1740
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:55,695
Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter.

1741
01:16:55,862 --> 01:16:57,197
What's the alternative?

1742
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:00,200
We go to the wedding.
We try to tag him. We fail.

1743
01:17:00,784 --> 01:17:02,285
And we fuck up the wedding?

1744
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:03,870
That's not a cool move.
That's a dick move.

1745
01:17:04,037 --> 01:17:05,580
That's not what friends do.
That's what assholes do.

1746
01:17:05,747 --> 01:17:08,541
Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage.

1747
01:17:08,708 --> 01:17:10,794
This is a miscarriage of justice.

1748
01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:13,171
This is where we get him.

1749
01:17:13,338 --> 01:17:14,547
He deserves to pay for that.

1750
01:17:15,423 --> 01:17:17,759
Even if we wanted to do that,
we all signed an amendment.

1751
01:17:17,926 --> 01:17:21,179
Amendments are null and void
if you fake a miscarriage.

1752
01:17:21,346 --> 01:17:22,889
That's just basic contract law.

1753
01:17:23,056 --> 01:17:24,641
- That's law. Basic contract law.
- Law.

1754
01:17:24,808 --> 01:17:25,809
Like he said.

1755
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:28,269
- I literally said exactly that.
- I know. We're saying it together.

1756
01:17:28,436 --> 01:17:31,773
But I was also right earlier
because I said the miscarriage was fake.

1757
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:35,985
The amendment stands,
and maybe that's a good thing.

1758
01:17:36,611 --> 01:17:39,489
Maybe it's time to grow up a little.

1759
01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,783
- Uh...
- I'm going to the wedding.

1760
01:17:42,534 --> 01:17:46,955
And you guys can do what you want.
I hope you come too.

1761
01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:48,957
Chilli, just put on a tie.

1762
01:17:52,377 --> 01:17:53,419
Sweetie.

1763
01:17:57,215 --> 01:17:58,299
Do you even have a tie?

1764
01:17:58,466 --> 01:17:59,634
Yes, I have a tie.

1765
01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:01,427
- Do you need to borrow a tie?
- Yes, I need to borrow a tie.

1766
01:18:01,511 --> 01:18:02,512
Okay.

1767
01:18:08,643 --> 01:18:10,645
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

1768
01:18:29,539 --> 01:18:31,374
(ALL CHEERING)

1769
01:18:44,596 --> 01:18:47,765
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!

1770
01:18:47,849 --> 01:18:49,100
Is that champagne?

1771
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:51,227
I know. Ugh.

1772
01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:53,354
I'm the girl who cried miscarriage.

1773
01:18:53,521 --> 01:18:56,858
But I had to get him out of that room
and distract you for a couple of hours

1774
01:18:57,025 --> 01:18:58,484
so that the amendment could kick in.

1775
01:18:58,651 --> 01:19:00,278
Wait. Are you even pregnant?

1776
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:01,779
No, I was never pregnant.

1777
01:19:01,946 --> 01:19:03,072
You were never pregnant?

1778
01:19:03,156 --> 01:19:04,282
ALL: Whoa.

1779
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,867
Just listen. Jerry knew

1780
01:19:06,034 --> 01:19:07,827
that you guys might get the drop on him

1781
01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:10,705
so "Operation Miscarriage"
was our fail-safe.

1782
01:19:10,872 --> 01:19:13,041
- It was an operation?
- It was actually my idea.

1783
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:14,751
- Brilliant. Brilliant!
- Ah, thanks.

1784
01:19:14,918 --> 01:19:16,085
That's diabolical.

1785
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,255
Everyone's just pissed because you won,
and they're boys.

1786
01:19:19,339 --> 01:19:22,634
They can't get pregnant,
so they can't fake a miscarriage.

1787
01:19:22,759 --> 01:19:24,177
(CHUCKLING) It's true.

1788
01:19:24,344 --> 01:19:26,554
Look, I'm not saying I want you
to have a miscarriage.

1789
01:19:26,721 --> 01:19:27,722
Then don't.

1790
01:19:27,889 --> 01:19:31,059
'Cause that would be terrible.
But if you ever do have a miscarriage,

1791
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,770
I don't wanna say that you would
deserve it 'cause that's too far,

1792
01:19:33,937 --> 01:19:36,314
but what I will say and what I do feel

1793
01:19:36,481 --> 01:19:38,441
- is that's what you get.
- (BOB GROANS)

1794
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:42,070
Okay. It's fine.
We can all have different feelings.

1795
01:19:42,153 --> 01:19:44,822
But it's our wedding day, you guys.
Come on.

1796
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,116
And we came up with this great amendment

1797
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:51,913
so that we could all enjoy this day
together and have fun and relax.

1798
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,164
Are we cool?

1799
01:19:53,873 --> 01:19:55,875
- CHILLI: Yeah, I guess so.
- Not yet. (CHUCKLES)

1800
01:19:56,250 --> 01:20:00,672
Sorry. Not cool yet.
It's just, you did murder a child.

1801
01:20:00,755 --> 01:20:01,756
No.

1802
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:02,882
She didn't.
No, it was a fake miscarriage.

1803
01:20:03,049 --> 01:20:05,927
Yeah, not the imaginary child
that was inside of you,

1804
01:20:06,094 --> 01:20:09,847
but the actual inner child
that lives inside of me

1805
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:11,265
got decapitated.

1806
01:20:11,391 --> 01:20:15,812
Head flew up, did flips in the air,
blood spurting everywhere.

1807
01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:19,482
Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record,

1808
01:20:19,649 --> 01:20:21,109
and we're a team now.

1809
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:22,694
The winning team.

1810
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:25,613
And I just feel like, Hoagie,
if you're gonna play

1811
01:20:25,780 --> 01:20:28,950
a children's game as a grown man,

1812
01:20:29,117 --> 01:20:31,869
maybe, next time,
don't play like a child.

1813
01:20:33,913 --> 01:20:37,500
Anyways, I am really excited
you guys are here.

1814
01:20:37,667 --> 01:20:40,211
Try the raw bar. It's off the hook.

1815
01:20:40,378 --> 01:20:42,505
It's my wedding!
I'm getting married! (LAUGHS)

1816
01:20:42,672 --> 01:20:45,299
- Congratulations.
- Come on! Grab it!

1817
01:20:49,971 --> 01:20:52,849
I take back everything I said
about her being effervescent.

1818
01:20:53,599 --> 01:20:55,435
I met Jerry in AA.

1819
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:58,521
You see, people,
I got a lot of problems.

1820
01:20:58,688 --> 01:21:03,735
Anger issues. I left my wife.
I have many kids.

1821
01:21:03,901 --> 01:21:07,155
And this man
got me to turn to the cloth.

1822
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:09,115
It was a low point in my life.

1823
01:21:09,282 --> 01:21:11,451
There was jail time involved.

1824
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,828
I briefly converted to Islam.

1825
01:21:13,995 --> 01:21:18,249
I lost a long legal battle
with Jo-Ann Fabrics.

1826
01:21:18,416 --> 01:21:21,669
During that time, I got to know
Jerry and Susan as a couple.

1827
01:21:21,836 --> 01:21:22,962
And that is a true blessing.

1828
01:21:23,129 --> 01:21:25,548
What's the difference between
Episcopalian and Lutheran?

1829
01:21:25,715 --> 01:21:28,176
Episcopalians don't eat fish.

1830
01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:33,014
That's pescatarian.
That's not a religion.

1831
01:21:33,181 --> 01:21:34,849
They're all fanatics. I don't know.

1832
01:21:35,600 --> 01:21:38,436
Remind me again, is it on the kiss
or after they walk back down the aisle?

1833
01:21:38,603 --> 01:21:41,355
Seriously?
You said you'd worked weddings before.

1834
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:45,443
The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony.
The groom was very specific about this.

1835
01:21:45,610 --> 01:21:48,321
PASTOR: ...and finds new ways
of expressing love

1836
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:51,282
through the ups and downs of life.

1837
01:21:51,449 --> 01:21:54,827
Susan, do you take Jerry
to be your husband?

1838
01:21:55,536 --> 01:21:57,997
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect him,

1839
01:21:58,164 --> 01:22:02,168
forsaking all others,
holding only to him forever more?

1840
01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:03,920
I do.

1841
01:22:04,087 --> 01:22:05,088
Beautiful.

1842
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:07,090
(WHISPERS) There's gonna be a window.

1843
01:22:07,256 --> 01:22:09,258
- What, sweetie?
- The doves.

1844
01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:11,385
What about the doves?

1845
01:22:11,594 --> 01:22:13,221
There's an opening.

1846
01:22:13,638 --> 01:22:15,389
Just relax, honey.

1847
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,767
You seem stressed.

1848
01:22:19,018 --> 01:22:21,646
Jerry, do you take Susan
to be your wife?

1849
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:25,733
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish,
and protect her

1850
01:22:25,900 --> 01:22:30,029
forsaking all others,
holding only to her forever more?

1851
01:22:30,113 --> 01:22:31,322
I do.

1852
01:22:31,489 --> 01:22:33,282
I mean, this is actually
kind of beautiful.

1853
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,284
It really is, man.

1854
01:22:35,368 --> 01:22:38,037
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

1855
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:41,624
You may kiss the bride.

1856
01:22:41,749 --> 01:22:43,459
- (ALL CHEERING)
- I love you.

1857
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:10,111
(ALL CHEERING)

1858
01:23:19,662 --> 01:23:20,746
(GASPS)

1859
01:23:20,830 --> 01:23:21,956
(YELLING)

1860
01:23:22,540 --> 01:23:24,458
- (SUSAN GASPS)
- (HOAGIE YELLING)

1861
01:23:26,669 --> 01:23:28,004
(ALL GASP)

1862
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,298
JERRY: Hoagie!
CHILLI: Go, go, go!

1863
01:23:30,464 --> 01:23:32,675
- ANNA: Oh, God! Guys, go!
- Hoagie! You okay?

1864
01:23:32,842 --> 01:23:34,135
Jesus.

1865
01:23:34,719 --> 01:23:35,720
Hey, man.

1866
01:23:36,179 --> 01:23:37,180
BOB: Buddy?

1867
01:23:37,305 --> 01:23:39,098
- You scared away the swans.
- Hoagie?

1868
01:23:40,099 --> 01:23:41,726
- Hogan? Hogan.
- JERRY: Hoagie!

1869
01:23:41,893 --> 01:23:44,228
I can't believe that you guys did this.
Right now.

1870
01:23:44,395 --> 01:23:47,565
Well, I don't think you get to claim
the moral high ground over us, actually.

1871
01:23:47,732 --> 01:23:48,816
Yeah, you're not better than us.

1872
01:23:48,983 --> 01:23:50,776
You and your wife pretended
to have a goddamn miscarriage.

1873
01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:52,695
Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding.

1874
01:23:52,862 --> 01:23:55,072
- Misunderstanding.
- In her vagina.

1875
01:23:55,489 --> 01:23:56,741
Wow. Oh, boy.

1876
01:23:56,908 --> 01:23:58,284
Guys, call a doctor!

1877
01:23:58,451 --> 01:23:59,869
- Can you hear me?
- BOB: Buddy?

1878
01:24:00,244 --> 01:24:01,913
- Hey!
- Somebody get a doctor!

1879
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:04,457
- BOB: Bud?
- He's gone full loss of consciousness.

1880
01:24:04,624 --> 01:24:06,000
That's impressive.

1881
01:24:06,167 --> 01:24:07,919
Even better
than your performance. Right?

1882
01:24:08,002 --> 01:24:09,754
(LAUGHING) I know! It's so good!

1883
01:24:09,921 --> 01:24:11,923
Excuse me, uh, everyone...

1884
01:24:12,131 --> 01:24:13,633
Everything's fine.

1885
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,551
Uh, this is all just a game.

1886
01:24:16,719 --> 01:24:18,429
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)

1887
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:20,473
He's still unconscious, but he's stable.

1888
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:23,392
He really should never have been
this active given his condition.

1889
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,519
- You can see him when he wakes up.
- Thanks.

1890
01:24:27,104 --> 01:24:28,522
I got this.

1891
01:24:28,689 --> 01:24:31,317
Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are you?

1892
01:24:31,484 --> 01:24:34,528
- Yeah.
- Doctor, uh... Doctor Yoon, is it?

1893
01:24:34,695 --> 01:24:36,072
- Yes.
- How do you spell that?

1894
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:39,784
- You're looking right at it.
- I know, but I'm just asking you.

1895
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:41,577
What exactly are you asking me?

1896
01:24:41,953 --> 01:24:44,455
My friends and I do this thing.
It's this really weird game.

1897
01:24:44,914 --> 01:24:47,041
Is there any chance this is all fake,
that you could just tell me.

1898
01:24:47,208 --> 01:24:48,918
I won't tell the others.

1899
01:24:49,252 --> 01:24:50,336
Is this fake?

1900
01:24:50,586 --> 01:24:52,838
- This hospital?
- The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?

1901
01:24:53,005 --> 01:24:54,298
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

1902
01:24:54,382 --> 01:24:56,050
(LAUGHS) He told you to say that, right?

1903
01:24:56,217 --> 01:24:58,844
- Look, I gotta prep a surgery.
- Will you just do me one quick favor?

1904
01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:01,097
Could you recite
the Hippocratic Oath for me?

1905
01:25:01,264 --> 01:25:02,890
That's not a thing doctors memorize.

1906
01:25:05,810 --> 01:25:07,395
Still unsure.

1907
01:25:08,062 --> 01:25:09,647
It's gonna be fine.
It's just, it was a lot.

1908
01:25:09,814 --> 01:25:11,232
I mean, how does that all happen
at a wedding?

1909
01:25:12,316 --> 01:25:13,317
Hey, boss.

1910
01:25:14,026 --> 01:25:15,027
How did that go?

1911
01:25:15,194 --> 01:25:16,487
I'm all turned around.

1912
01:25:16,654 --> 01:25:17,655
About what?

1913
01:25:18,531 --> 01:25:20,074
If he's an actor or if he's not.

1914
01:25:20,241 --> 01:25:23,369
He's not. He's a doctor.
We're in a hospital.

1915
01:25:24,829 --> 01:25:27,123
You're drinking the Kool-Aid.

1916
01:25:31,502 --> 01:25:32,628
(BOB SIGHS)

1917
01:25:33,963 --> 01:25:36,215
All right. What do we do?

1918
01:25:36,382 --> 01:25:38,843
Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you?
Just go talk to the girl.

1919
01:25:39,010 --> 01:25:40,011
Could be a trap.

1920
01:25:40,094 --> 01:25:42,638
She's here for a friend
who is in the hospital. Okay?

1921
01:25:43,389 --> 01:25:44,890
You know I'm right. I'm always right.

1922
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:47,893
Okay, you're right about this,
but you are not always right.

1923
01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,353
Buddy, I'm always right,
and you know it's true.

1924
01:25:49,437 --> 01:25:50,438
Bob, you're not always right.

1925
01:25:50,521 --> 01:25:51,897
- 100%...
- 1989.

1926
01:25:52,273 --> 01:25:53,274
Oh, come on.

1927
01:25:53,441 --> 01:25:55,484
Ken Griffey Jr. enters the league,
and what do you say?

1928
01:25:55,776 --> 01:25:57,028
"He will never be
as good as his father."

1929
01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:58,404
And he's better than his father.

1930
01:25:58,571 --> 01:26:00,781
- Where are the rings?
- You are so wrong!

1931
01:26:00,948 --> 01:26:03,492
The historical record
has proven that I am right.

1932
01:26:03,659 --> 01:26:05,870
You know what? Time will tell.

1933
01:26:05,953 --> 01:26:08,748
You will never admit
that you are wrong about anything.

1934
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,166
I'm not wrong.

1935
01:26:10,333 --> 01:26:12,251
Come on, it's been a while
since we've done this.

1936
01:26:12,418 --> 01:26:13,461
Come here, man.

1937
01:26:14,462 --> 01:26:15,838
This was a fun few days, man.

1938
01:26:16,005 --> 01:26:17,381
- I really missed you.
- I missed you too, man.

1939
01:26:18,257 --> 01:26:20,384
- You want a breath mint?
- No, I don't want a breath mint.

1940
01:26:20,551 --> 01:26:21,761
- Stop it.
- You want a breath mint?

1941
01:26:21,844 --> 01:26:24,805
I would love a breath mint.
I got a gross taste in my mouth.

1942
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:33,064
Hey, mind if I sit?

1943
01:26:33,230 --> 01:26:34,231
CHERYL: No.

1944
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:36,776
(SIGHS)

1945
01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:37,860
Thanks for coming.

1946
01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:40,946
- I hope he's okay.
- Yeah, me too.

1947
01:26:44,784 --> 01:26:45,993
Um...

1948
01:26:47,787 --> 01:26:48,829
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1949
01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:55,878
I don't know if that...
We're in a hospital and...

1950
01:26:56,045 --> 01:26:57,421
- You know?
- Yes.

1951
01:26:57,588 --> 01:27:00,299
My friend is possibly dying.

1952
01:27:00,466 --> 01:27:04,303
But it feels like a time I need
to tell you how I feel about you,

1953
01:27:04,595 --> 01:27:07,306
and I am so pumped
that your husband's dead.

1954
01:27:07,723 --> 01:27:09,058
- No.
- No.

1955
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:12,436
But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl.

1956
01:27:14,188 --> 01:27:17,400
You are broke and divorced

1957
01:27:17,566 --> 01:27:19,944
- and just a fucking mess, really.
- Yeah.

1958
01:27:20,111 --> 01:27:21,362
But it's fun to see you, too.

1959
01:27:21,529 --> 01:27:23,572
Good. All right. I'll take that.

1960
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:26,992
I actually think that...

1961
01:27:27,159 --> 01:27:30,079
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I would see you again.

1962
01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:32,873
- For real?
- Yeah.

1963
01:27:33,040 --> 01:27:35,084
- Like a little date.
- No, definitely didn't say that.

1964
01:27:35,251 --> 01:27:37,294
- Like a dinner.
- Smaller than that.

1965
01:27:37,670 --> 01:27:39,588
- Like a lunch.
- How about a snack?

1966
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:42,716
I'll take what I can get.

1967
01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:46,011
Hoagie, I know you're fucking with me.

1968
01:27:46,846 --> 01:27:52,601
I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver
the size of my right nut.

1969
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,397
Jesus.

1970
01:27:56,981 --> 01:27:57,982
Yeah.

1971
01:27:58,149 --> 01:28:00,860
I know you're fucking with him,
but what are you doing? What's the plan?

1972
01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:03,529
- Tell us what's going on.
- Chilli, there's no plan.

1973
01:28:03,696 --> 01:28:04,905
What's going on?

1974
01:28:05,072 --> 01:28:06,615
There's no plan, Chilli.

1975
01:28:06,991 --> 01:28:08,200
Stop winking at me.

1976
01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:10,077
Think it's real.
This looks like it's doing something.

1977
01:28:10,244 --> 01:28:12,788
Something real is happening
on this thing right here.

1978
01:28:12,872 --> 01:28:14,165
How long have you known this?

1979
01:28:14,331 --> 01:28:15,583
ANNA: For three weeks.

1980
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,084
JERRY: Three weeks.

1981
01:28:17,251 --> 01:28:20,629
Right nut.
Too specific, I call bullshit.

1982
01:28:20,796 --> 01:28:22,298
That's a lie. Right? It's a lie.

1983
01:28:22,465 --> 01:28:23,466
I'm not lying.

1984
01:28:24,091 --> 01:28:26,927
Although I did lie about one thing.

1985
01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:29,722
Jerry's not quitting
at the end of the season.

1986
01:28:29,889 --> 01:28:31,432
JERRY: What? Why the fuck would I quit?

1987
01:28:31,599 --> 01:28:33,058
Yeah, I just... I said that

1988
01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:36,187
to get everyone together,
you know, for one last round.

1989
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:39,190
Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking
about this.

1990
01:28:39,356 --> 01:28:40,608
Uh, no.

1991
01:28:41,609 --> 01:28:47,823
There is a decent chance
I will not be around for next season.

1992
01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:57,666
Damn.

1993
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:02,296
BOB: And, I mean, plus,
even if you were, you'd be,

1994
01:29:03,547 --> 01:29:05,674
you know. Really slow.

1995
01:29:05,758 --> 01:29:07,593
- (ANNA CHUCKLES)
- A total sitting duck.

1996
01:29:07,676 --> 01:29:10,471
Carrying like an IV bag around,
that's easy.

1997
01:29:10,554 --> 01:29:11,847
I had an uncle that went through chemo,

1998
01:29:11,931 --> 01:29:13,849
and afterwards,
he was terrible at games.

1999
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:17,019
But I guess that makes sense.
It would be weird if he got better.

2000
01:29:18,187 --> 01:29:19,688
Then everybody would be getting chemo.

2001
01:29:19,772 --> 01:29:21,190
(ALL CHUCKLE)

2002
01:29:22,608 --> 01:29:24,360
I love you guys.

2003
01:29:25,903 --> 01:29:28,489
I love... I love this game. You know?

2004
01:29:29,198 --> 01:29:32,785
I don't know what it is.
It just brings out the best in us.

2005
01:29:34,537 --> 01:29:35,955
Except today.

2006
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,958
Today, I don't know.

2007
01:29:39,750 --> 01:29:44,213
I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry,
and I am super sorry.

2008
01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:45,339
(CALL DISCONNECTS)

2009
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:46,423
Jerry?

2010
01:29:47,091 --> 01:29:49,843
- Has he hung up?
- Jerry?

2011
01:29:54,640 --> 01:29:57,726
You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie.
Come on.

2012
01:29:59,645 --> 01:30:01,355
- Right?
- No.

2013
01:30:01,438 --> 01:30:02,856
You might have
ruined a moment. (CHUCKLES)

2014
01:30:03,941 --> 01:30:06,735
I screwed it up.
You should've been up there with me.

2015
01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:07,903
All you boys should've.

2016
01:30:08,946 --> 01:30:09,947
That's my fault.

2017
01:30:10,531 --> 01:30:14,159
I always thought that you guys were just
much closer to each other than to me...

2018
01:30:14,243 --> 01:30:15,244
What?

2019
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:17,580
I mean, if it seems like we were closer,

2020
01:30:17,663 --> 01:30:20,249
it's only because
we're physically closer

2021
01:30:20,416 --> 01:30:21,667
because you always ran away.

2022
01:30:21,834 --> 01:30:23,335
Successfully. You know, I mean,

2023
01:30:23,502 --> 01:30:25,504
not for nothing, you might actually be

2024
01:30:25,588 --> 01:30:27,715
the very best person at this game
on the planet.

2025
01:30:28,090 --> 01:30:29,717
He might be, right?

2026
01:30:30,217 --> 01:30:32,094
Yeah, you're really good at tag.

2027
01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:35,848
Yes, but you've kind of missed
the point.

2028
01:30:36,015 --> 01:30:39,184
I mean, it's not about trying
to get away from each other.

2029
01:30:39,268 --> 01:30:44,273
It's actually about having a reason
to be around each other. You know?

2030
01:30:44,440 --> 01:30:45,608
Yeah.

2031
01:30:45,983 --> 01:30:47,901
I mean, Ben Franklin said it best.
Am I right?

2032
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:50,654
"We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old..."

2033
01:30:50,738 --> 01:30:52,281
ALL: "We grow old
because we stop playing."

2034
01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:55,284
I've been wanting to say for a few years
that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.

2035
01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,369
That is German anthropologist,
Karl Groos.

2036
01:30:57,453 --> 01:30:59,455
- I., la, la, la, la...
- Why are you ruining the moment?

2037
01:30:59,622 --> 01:31:00,706
- I just don't even want to know.
- He's in the hospital.

2038
01:31:00,789 --> 01:31:02,750
- It felt like the right moment.
- It's not the right moment, so...

2039
01:31:02,833 --> 01:31:03,876
SABLE: It is the right moment.
CHILLI: It isn't.

2040
01:31:04,043 --> 01:31:05,085
So, Jerry, uh...

2041
01:31:09,006 --> 01:31:10,299
It's 11:55.

2042
01:31:10,466 --> 01:31:13,093
Get in here, and let me tag you.

2043
01:31:17,514 --> 01:31:19,350
You know, I've been so attached,
I suppose,

2044
01:31:19,433 --> 01:31:21,101
to my perfect record all these years,

2045
01:31:21,185 --> 01:31:22,978
dominating you fools.

2046
01:31:23,145 --> 01:31:25,939
Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't.

2047
01:31:26,106 --> 01:31:29,068
If you think about it,
Jerry is a tag virgin.

2048
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,444
Or champion.

2049
01:31:30,527 --> 01:31:32,571
Just let us deflower you.

2050
01:31:32,738 --> 01:31:34,073
We'll be gentle.

2051
01:31:34,573 --> 01:31:36,158
(CHUCKLES) I can't.

2052
01:31:38,035 --> 01:31:39,036
Come on.

2053
01:31:39,119 --> 01:31:40,621
(CHUCKLING)

2054
01:31:40,704 --> 01:31:41,705
I can't do it.

2055
01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:45,626
Then I'm not gonna tag anybody,
and the game ends with me.

2056
01:31:45,709 --> 01:31:47,002
- (ANNA GASPS)
- That's dark.

2057
01:31:47,086 --> 01:31:49,463
Or you just let me tag you.

2058
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:53,509
All right, fuck it.

2059
01:31:56,387 --> 01:31:58,222
(ALL CHEERING)

2060
01:32:00,015 --> 01:32:01,016
- It!
- Oh, my God!

2061
01:32:01,100 --> 01:32:02,309
Loser! Loser!

2062
01:32:02,393 --> 01:32:03,686
BOB: You suck!

2063
01:32:04,645 --> 01:32:05,646
CHILLI: Awesome.

2064
01:32:07,106 --> 01:32:09,733
- Yes!
- You officially suck.

2065
01:32:09,817 --> 01:32:10,901
Oh, you're so it!

2066
01:32:11,068 --> 01:32:13,237
Goddamn! All right!

2067
01:32:15,489 --> 01:32:16,740
I love you guys.

2068
01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:18,951
Love you too, man.

2069
01:32:19,576 --> 01:32:20,994
(LAUGHING)

2070
01:32:22,996 --> 01:32:26,625
You know we got five minutes
left of May.

2071
01:32:27,292 --> 01:32:29,378
I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches!

2072
01:32:30,295 --> 01:32:32,381
(UPBEAT HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

2073
01:32:48,647 --> 01:32:49,982
JERRY: Look, Bob!
Where are you gonna go, Bob?

2074
01:32:50,149 --> 01:32:51,150
No!

2075
01:32:57,072 --> 01:32:59,575
Verbal amendment?
That women should be playing.

2076
01:33:01,034 --> 01:33:03,203
- Amendment.
- Yeah, amendment.

2077
01:33:04,455 --> 01:33:05,456
Oh.

2078
01:33:05,539 --> 01:33:07,541
Oh, you just made a big mistake.

2079
01:33:09,293 --> 01:33:11,920
- You're it, bitch!
- You're it now!

2080
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,297
- You're going down!
- You're too intense!

2081
01:33:13,464 --> 01:33:15,340
You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls.

2082
01:33:15,507 --> 01:33:16,842
Oh! Gross!

2083
01:33:17,009 --> 01:33:19,386
You're gross! (YELLS)

2084
01:33:29,021 --> 01:33:30,481
Come on! Shit! No.

2085
01:33:33,984 --> 01:33:35,402
(PANTING)

2086
01:33:36,153 --> 01:33:37,821
- You're it.
- No, I can't get involved in the story.

2087
01:33:37,905 --> 01:33:38,989
We made an amendment!

2088
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,950
Come on, it's a little bit fun, right?
You have about three minutes.

2089
01:33:55,589 --> 01:33:58,717
Sable! Come on.
Where are your ethics, buddy?

2090
01:33:59,885 --> 01:34:01,678
Come on. Just reach out.

2091
01:34:01,845 --> 01:34:02,846
SUSAN: No!
JERRY: You got it.

2092
01:34:02,930 --> 01:34:03,972
(GROANS)

2093
01:34:04,348 --> 01:34:05,349
Oh, shit, hang on a second.

2094
01:34:05,516 --> 01:34:06,725
You okay?

2095
01:34:06,892 --> 01:34:08,477
- You all right?
- Yeah.

2096
01:34:08,560 --> 01:34:10,020
(ALL EXCLAIM)

2097
01:34:10,479 --> 01:34:11,605
SUSAN: You're it!

2098
01:34:48,767 --> 01:34:50,727
- Tag, brother!
- (BOTH LAUGHING)

2099
01:34:52,938 --> 01:34:54,982
- You're it!
- (LAUGHTER)

2100
01:34:55,148 --> 01:34:56,942
- CAMERAMAN: I'm it?
- You're it?

2101
01:34:57,860 --> 01:34:59,152
CAMERAMAN: Now you're it.

2102
01:34:59,319 --> 01:35:01,697
You got me. No way!

2103
01:35:01,780 --> 01:35:03,365
(INAUDIBLE)

2104
01:35:04,116 --> 01:35:06,618
- Not bad, huh? Pretty hot?
- CAMERAMAN: Wow.

2105
01:35:09,663 --> 01:35:10,747
(GROWLS)

2106
01:35:10,831 --> 01:35:12,207
(LAUGHING)

2107
01:35:17,087 --> 01:35:19,131
- You're it!
- (SCREAMING)

2108
01:35:21,967 --> 01:35:23,260
Yeah, baby.

2109
01:35:25,095 --> 01:35:27,639
- CAMERAMAN: Hey, fucker. You're it!
- (BOTH LAUGHING)

2110
01:35:29,641 --> 01:35:31,393
You're it! Yeah!

2111
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:34,062
You're it, baby!

2112
01:35:34,146 --> 01:35:35,230
(LAUGHS)

2113
01:37:11,952 --> 01:37:15,914
("MMM MMM MMM MMM" PLAYING)

2114
01:37:31,763 --> 01:37:36,852
(SINGING) Once, there was a kid who

2115
01:37:37,019 --> 01:37:41,523
Got into an accident
and couldn't come to school

2116
01:37:41,690 --> 01:37:47,446
But when he finally came back

2117
01:37:47,612 --> 01:37:54,327
His hair turned
from black into bright white

2118
01:37:56,538 --> 01:37:59,958
He said that it was from when the cars

2119
01:38:00,125 --> 01:38:05,338
Had smashed him so hard

2120
01:38:06,214 --> 01:38:11,303
ALL: Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

2121
01:38:11,428 --> 01:38:16,391
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

2122
01:38:16,850 --> 01:38:21,730
Once, there was this girl who

2123
01:38:21,897 --> 01:38:26,943
Wouldn't go and change
with the girls in the change room

2124
01:38:27,110 --> 01:38:32,365
- But when they finally made her
- (VOCALIZING COMICALLY)

2125
01:38:32,532 --> 01:38:38,914
They saw red marks all over her body

2126
01:38:41,333 --> 01:38:44,252
She couldn't quite explain it

2127
01:38:44,419 --> 01:38:50,592
They'd always just been there

2128
01:38:50,967 --> 01:38:53,678
- Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
- Baa, baa, baa, baa

2129
01:38:53,762 --> 01:38:56,556
- Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
- Baa, baa, baa, baa

2130
01:38:56,681 --> 01:38:59,643
Ooh

2131
01:38:59,726 --> 01:39:01,353
Yeah

2132
01:39:01,770 --> 01:39:06,566
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

2133
01:39:06,650 --> 01:39:11,363
Mmm, mmm

2134
01:39:12,656 --> 01:39:17,244
Both the girl and the boy were glad

2135
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:23,375
'Cause one kid had it worse than that

2136
01:39:28,004 --> 01:39:33,009
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

2137
01:39:33,093 --> 01:39:38,056
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

2138
01:39:38,557 --> 01:39:40,934
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

2139
01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:45,188
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey

2140
01:39:48,984 --> 01:39:54,156
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

2141
01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:59,202
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

2142
01:40:02,998 --> 01:40:04,166
- MAN: You're it.
- Fucker!

2143
01:40:21,850 --> 01:40:22,851
English - SDH