Laskvurel

Dadcord Part 1 (An Eventful Morning)

Jan 16th, 2016
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  1. Edited by Ben Dover: http://pastebin.com/u/Ben__Dover
  2.  
  3. (For the purpose of this story femAnon will be refereed to as Anon.)
  4. >Life sucks.
  5. >I never did have much money, but I lost my job since my workplace shut down.
  6. >Then my landlord told me that I have a week to move out since I can't pay my rent.
  7. >Next week I'll be one of those people living in a tent under a bridge.
  8. >I've tried looking for jobs, but in this rathole I couldn't even be a McDonalds cashier.
  9. >Can't do anything about it now.
  10. >The sound of tapping on glass permeates the room.
  11. >”Anon, over here.”
  12. >Moving to where the voice originated from I saw that it was coming from my computer, but didn't I turn it off earlier?
  13. >The computer opens up and a large creature emerges from the screen.
  14. >Startled by what I saw, I quickly ran to the door attempting to escape.
  15. >However, the door wouldn't budge.
  16. >Seeing the strange creature approach, I panicked and tried to attack it.
  17.  
  18.  
  19. >The creature pinched my head with one of its talons.
  20. >It looks like a combination of several creatures even having one clawed hand and a paw.
  21. >”Now that’s no way to treat a guest.”
  22. >My eye twitched with a spike of rage at this conceited, mutant lizard.
  23. “Put me down you Chinese dragon!”
  24. >I swung my fists at it until I felt the adrenaline wear off.
  25. >”Dragon; I am no such thing. Those creatures can’t even take a simple joke.”
  26. >Suddenly I found myself in a comfortable chair; looks like something a professor would sit in.
  27. >I glare at him with unbridled rage.
  28. "I don't know what you're selling, but I'm not buying."
  29. >At hearing this the creature put his two different appendages together and spoke.
  30. >”Oh but I haven’t even told you my offer yet. I thought you might have wanted a fresh start.”
  31. >I felt my anger dissipate.
  32. “A fresh start?”
  33. >The creature pulled down a map from thin air.
  34. >”Why yes, a new home in the beautiful land of Equestria.”
  35. >At the time this struck me as odd, as I have never heard of such a place.
  36. “That a third-world country or something?”
  37. >The creature looked back with a fake smile plastered on its face and a slight eye twitch.
  38.  
  39.  
  40. >It was clearly flustered by my statement but continues on.
  41. >”I know your world has made a show of our shenanigans, you have heard of My Little Pony. Right?”
  42. “You mean that little girl show?”
  43. >Clearly upset by truth, he stands up as flames appear around him.
  44. >”No; not some little girl show. I’m talking about my home.”
  45. “You mean the little girl’s show?”
  46. >”I… I…” suddenly the flames behind him disappear ending with a small sigh of defeat. “Your world may see it as that, but you haven't even seen it all.”
  47. “And I’m guessing you’re not here to make me start some religious cult?”
  48. >He responds in a mocking voice, “No, I’m not here to start some cult! I am here for what I said; to offer you a new beginning.”
  49. “Not interested.”
  50. >He just stares back. “What?”
  51. “You heard me, go on home now. Shoo.”
  52. >”You can’t just shoo me away like that. Do you even know who I am?”
  53. “No, why should I care?”
  54. >”I am Discord, master of chaos!” Flames flared up around him again as he said this.
  55. “And your offer remains denied. Now if you don’t mind I have to find a job in this trash heap of a town.”
  56. >”You can’t deny me this! I am the master of…”
  57. >Before he could finish I turned the lights off and collapsed on the bed.
  58.  
  59.  
  60. >The next morning a warm breeze washed over my body.
  61. >It felt pleasant but I don't remember ever leaving my windows open.
  62. >When I opened my eyes I could see what looked like a miniature tornado tearing through my room.
  63. >”Salt.”
  64. >The tornado rushed to the cabinet tearing it apart and throwing a thing of salt to the creature who goes by, Discord.
  65. >He proceeded to pour the salt into his mouth and tossed the container into a pot full of... something.
  66. >...
  67. “I don’t care who or what you are but you are leaving NOW.”
  68. >I walked up to Discord while staring him right in the eyes.
  69. >Instead of fear or anger he only returned a smile.
  70. >”But I won’t leave until I find what I want.”
  71. “And why is that?”
  72. >Discord returned a tired gaze.
  73. >”Because life is getting boring for me.”
  74. “If it's so boring why don't you leave?”
  75. >The grin returns to his face, “not until one of two things happen.”
  76. >I was getting somewhat aggravated by him, but I decided to play along if it'll make him leave faster.
  77. “And those are?”
  78. >”Option one: I find someone to take with me.”
  79. “And option two?”
  80. >”We play my game.”
  81.  
  82.  
  83. “And what game is that?”
  84. >”You will only be told if you accept the challenge and the conditions.”
  85. >I figured I had nothing to lose at this point.
  86. “Alright.”
  87. >Discord grins widely.
  88. >”Oh, and if I win you come with me.”
  89. >Wait, what?
  90. “I am NOT going with YOU!”
  91. >”Too late! Now let’s begin.”
  92. >Discord then snapped his talons, changing something in the room, but I couldn’t see what it was.
  93. >”Somewhere inside this room is a red ball. If you find it within three minutes you win, otherwise pack your bags.”
  94. >He summoned a tourist outfit. Hawaiian shirt and all.
  95. >I started tearing up the place, throwing cabinet doors open, flipping over my mattress but wherever I looked I couldn’t find the red ball he was describing.
  96. >At the end a giant air horn went off hurting my ears.
  97. >”Such a shame you were so close too.” He says, pulling back the wallpaper revealing that inside the walls are thousands of small red bouncy balls.
  98. >I turned and stared into his eyes.
  99. “And how are you planning on making me go?”
  100.  
  101.  
  102. >The room is filled with the sound of cracking wood.
  103. >I've got to get out of here!
  104. >He sat back with a smug look on his face as if he already won.
  105. >I ran to the door and tried to open it, but it was stuck.
  106. >”We had a deal Anon, we're going on a vacation.”
  107. >I looked around my room desperately for anything I could use.
  108. >I found a crowbar; couldn’t remember why I had one in the first place but whatever.
  109. “Not if I have anything to say about it!”
  110. >I put the crowbar in the space between the door and the wall.
  111. >I put all of my weight into the bar until I heard it crack.
  112. >The door opened up with a bang; slamming the wall to the right and leaving a dent in it.
  113. >But behind the door was only a black void...
  114.  
  115.  
  116. >Discord stood there with a big grin on his face knowing that he'd won.
  117. >In a fit of rage I lifted the crowbar up and charged at him, holding it up like a sword.
  118. >Before the crowbar hits, he disappears in a puff of smoke.
  119. >All of the force went into the floor, punching a hole straight through.
  120. >From the new hole, cracks started to form like the room was made of glass.
  121. >The floor starts to fall out in large chunks.
  122. >Even while afraid the other part of me tries to reason what's happening.
  123. >The creature was just messing with me, so why not return the favor?
  124. >Putting my fear aside, I ran forward, diving into the darkness like a swimming pool.
  125. >The whole time he looks at me with wide eyes wide and jaw dropped.
  126. >While falling I felt a breeze going across my skin as it got darker until I couldn’t see anything.
  127. >Next thing I knew I was out.
  128.  
  129.  
  130.  
  131. >My name is Aksel.
  132. >And I woke up that morning to learn that my daughter was dead.
  133. >That morning I decided to visit her apartment.
  134. >What I found shocked me even more.
  135. >Instead of seeing a cleanup crew to move the debris, the whole block was closed off.
  136. >Some people were leaving as I got there; others were fighting with the cops guarding the place.
  137. >Either way it seemed that this was bigger than I thought.
  138. >I walked up to the closest cop to find out what was happening.
  139. “Sir, can you tell me what’s going on?”
  140. >For a second he just looked at me, as if he was looking for something.
  141. >”Explosion of some kind, now if you don’t mind can you move along?”
  142. >He spoke in a somewhat impatient tone.
  143. “Sir, that building you are claiming that blew up, my daughter was in it!”
  144. >He just stared at me as if this meant nothing to him, but then he softened up a little.
  145. >”Listen, I know you want in, but I was ordered not to let anyone in for any reason.”
  146. “I just want to say my goodbyes is all; could you at least see if they'll let me do that?”
  147. >He stood there for a moment and looked back up.
  148. >”I’ll see what I can do.”
  149.  
  150.  
  151.  
  152. >Back to Anon.
  153. >I shot up, sweat dripping from my forehead. Catching my breath, I tried to recollect all that had just happened.
  154. >Was that all a dream? And if it was, jeez... it sure was a weird one.
  155. >Above me I could see groups of deep green leaves, being caressed by the calm breeze. Spots of light escaped through the dense green, illuminating some areas of the grass around me.
  156. “Whoa… What just happen- AGGH! My head…”
  157. >The feeling of a rusty knife being jabbed into my skull sent a shock through my entire body as I tried to sit up.
  158. >I held my hand up to my head, trying to suppress the pain.
  159. >Soon, the pain spread throughout all of my body. Slowly I felt my muscles becoming sore and tense, making it annoyingly painful to move.
  160. >Felt like I had gone through one of those dumb fitness tests middle school teachers put you through. Those gym teachers took things way too far when it came to exercise...
  161. >After a couple of minutes, I regained my senses as the headache dwindled. My body still ached as I tried to move.
  162. “Let’s see if I can- Aghhh… Nope… Can’t stand…”
  163. >Deciding it was pointless to even attempt to get up, I investigated the area more in my seated position.
  164. >A forest laid ahead enveloped in darkness, not allowing even a beam of light to enter.
  165. >I pivoted myself over in the opposite direction gradually, trying not to put too much stress on myself.
  166. >An open range of grassy hills, varying with abundant oak trees and flowers. Each oak stood proudly from the ground, bark strong, branches and leaves moving with the rhythm of the wind.
  167. >The flowers added a carpet of color and beauty to the vast planes of hills in the distance.
  168. >Butterflies fluttered over the vast mounds of flora as the wind carried small petals within the air.
  169. >The atmosphere was so refreshing, sweet, and warm… as if comforting me from the nightmare.
  170. >The aroma… the scenery… it rejuvenated my body and mind, numbing any feelings of pain from before.
  171. >However, it didn’t last long as I heard the voice from my dream once again.
  172. >“Finally awake?”
  173. >I couldn’t move. Regardless of the pain, just the sound of that voice, I couldn’t even react to it.
  174. >Yet I felt my body slowly rise in temperature as I clenched my fists, knuckles turning white.
  175. >Clenching through my teeth, I responded enthusiastically.
  176. “You... You just couldn’t mind your own business... Could you...”
  177. >I bolted up and faced the direction of the voice to be met with a weird looking creature levitating in the air. I didn’t care what or who it was, I was genuinely pissed off at this point.
  178. “I will make you PAY for what you- What the- AHH!”
  179. >Apparently even though my mind numbed the pain, my body didn’t. I gave out, landing face first onto the ground.
  180. “AHHH- Mmph!”
  181. >I didn’t feel pain, didn’t feel anger anymore. The only thing felt in my mind, was humiliation...
  182. >The creature started to laugh at me as I tried to stand up, only to miserably fail once again.
  183. >”HAAA HA HA HAAA! A-Anon! You… oh my… you should see yourself!” Discord said between laughs.
  184. >The lush grass had actually reduced some of the impact on my face. I didn’t want to even get up at this point, felt too nice...
  185. >Then appeared a cracked mirror with some of the frame hanging off. I raised my face to meet eye level with my reflection, spitting some grass blades out of my mouth and blowing some hair out of my face.
  186. >This couldn’t be a mirror, what was being reflected off of it looked nothing like me at all!
  187. >Glaring angrily back was a little green pony with green eyes and a red face. The red eventually faded, flushing down into a pale green.
  188. >I shook my head to get any remaining dirt or grass off my head, and the pony mimicked my actions.
  189. >“Look at your face! HAH! You were all tough and gruff.”
  190. >He morphs his face to match the filly one, with its face all red and furious. Then it turns into a beet.
  191. >“I do have to say, I have never seen anypony, let alone ANYONE, achieve this shade of color,” he said as he pointed at his vegetable face.
  192. >“Now you look as confused as Twilight trying to fix a friendship problem! HILARIOUS!”
  193. >His laughs turned into howls as he tried to hold his stomach, only for it to pop off and start laughing too.
  194. >Some left over anger had converted into confusion, but the more he taunted me, the more he fanned the flames of fury. Oh no, I’m not having any of this.
  195. “Grrrrr….”
  196. >Now I had realize why I fell to begin with, he turned me into a pony, and walking on two legs was pointless. A devious grin began to form on my face as I slowly got back up.
  197. >“PFFF, AHAHAH! Seriously! I haven’t had this much of a laugh since that one time… Ohhh… and the oranges!”
  198. >Up on all fours, I channeled all my anger and started to charge. With each inch closer I approached him, the louder of a growl I gave until I began to yell.
  199. “EEEAAAAAAAHHH!”
  200.  
  201.  
  202.  
  203. >After a few minutes, the officer had returned, slowly walking towards me. With each step he took, my heart sank deeper and deeper in my chest.
  204. >He was looking slightly down, avoiding eye contact, but still keeping his professional demeanor.
  205. >As I thought… of course they wouldn’t let me even see my own daughter… I knew it was pointless to ask… but I wanted to see what they had to say in this situation.
  206. “...What did they say?”
  207. >”Well…” The officer tugged on his collar and scratched the stubble on his chin. A sudden pause before he answered. “They denied your request. Sorry, but you’ll have to leave now.”
  208. >He opened his mouth once more to say something more comforting or reassuring, but shut it tightly, turning his head to the side, looking back at the explosion site.
  209. >I stared back, my body becoming numb. I couldn’t move a muscle on my face, I had no energy to respond or retaliate back...
  210. >I thought back to a few minutes ago, when I had first heard that her apartment had been blown up.
  211. >How I dropped everything to see if she was alive...
  212. >How I risked losing my only dead end job...
  213. >Risking the little financial comfort we both had now and for the future...
  214. >Just for her… my heart clenched in my chest as it filled with a weird fuzzy feeling…
  215. >The realization... of how Anon keeps me going, how she gave me hope that life is more than just pain and suffering.
  216. >Finally, I cracked a faint smile as my eyes began to tear up, one escaping and trickling down my right cheek.
  217.  
  218. >Yet, my mind had to accept the fact, that my only drive in life… Was gone.
  219. >My smile didn’t feel like staying anymore.
  220. >The tears eased back as the one on my cheek slowly dried up.
  221. >The sounds of the police sirens, the crowd, the world around me… slowly faded.
  222. >The beating of my heart slowly increased in volume, drumming into my ear.
  223. >My vison slowly focused solely on the collapsed building, blurring out anything in my peripheral.
  224. >Her voice echoed in my mind, as if she was right there.
  225. ‘Hey, stop being such an old man! You’re only 32!’...
  226. ‘You look a lot better when you smile, Dad.’...
  227. ‘I know things look rough… But there’s always another way, like you always tell me!’
  228. >I gulped to get rid of the dryness in my throat, my senses quickly returning.
  229. “Well… thanks for trying, anyways...”
  230. >The officer had already left to fend off the crowd trying to get a glimpse of the disaster as I was dozing into my thoughts.
  231. >It didn’t bother me, I had met thousands of people as careless as that officer. It was more reassuring than depressing at this point.
  232. >Who could blame him? He’s probably met people like me thousands of times, too.
  233. >I turned away though I could still feel his gaze on me.
  234. >I had lost more than just Anon that morning.
  235.  
  236. >I moved past the group of people that gathered around the closed off road.
  237. >Some were yelling at the officers, trying to get in, others giving up and returning to their daily lives.
  238. >One man in the crowd noticed me leaving, averting his attention away from the spectacle towards me.
  239. >Turning the corner on the way back to my car, I felt someone grab my shoulder.
  240. >I paid no attention as I continued down my path, the sound of sirens slowly diminishing as I went.
  241. >My brain was tired already, my body slowly feeling weaker and weaker.
  242. >”Sir, may I speak with you for a moment?”
  243. >No response. I continued down the path.
  244. >”Please sir, I need to speak with you”
  245. >...
  246. >”I know about your daughter.”
  247.  
  248. >My body locked in place as I stood staring at the sidewalk in front of me.
  249. >I turned around, watching as a man in his mid-twenties struggled to catch up with me.
  250. >His hair was flaring in all types of directions, a bad case of bedhead. He wore a lab coat with all sorts of dried chemicals and stains plastered on it.
  251. >Typical cliche scientist outfit. C’mon life, when will you stop being so predictable with these types of things?
  252. >Regardless of his first impression, the sight didn’t catch me off guard.
  253. >What caught me off guard is that he knew about my daughter. But, he could be some sick man trying to mess with me.
  254. >Hmmm… well he didn’t look drunk or critically insane.
  255. >My energy was gone at this point, yet I felt a rekindled flame in my soul...
  256. “What is it that you could possibly know about Anon?”
  257. >The man grinned as he took me by my shoulders and shook me a bit, that dumb smile beaming right at me.
  258. >“I know she isn’t dead yet!” He let out a weird sound that signified his excitement.
  259. >Letting out a sigh, I continued to converse with him.
  260. “In that case, what happened to her?”
  261. >”Aliens.”
  262.  
  263. >Oh, so he was playing games with me. Figures. I was more infuriated at the fact that I let life fool me again.
  264. >My anger bled away fairly quickly as I didn’t care anymore.
  265. “Cool.”
  266. >I retook my path, slowly coming upon my parked car. As I began to open the door, the man stopped me once more.
  267. >I looked over my shoulder, his eyes were bulging out, face full of desperation as he pulled at my arm.
  268. >He shifted his position so my arm was over my shoulder, pulling it behind him as if it were a giant sack of potatoes.
  269. >”HNNG! A-At least give me a chance…! C’mon c’mon…! I have the proof to show that I’m not making this up! But we have to- UGHH…! D-Do this now!”
  270. >Some part of me actually enjoyed his childish antics. Kind of looked silly how hard he was trying to pull me away from my car with little to no success.
  271. >I budged and just let fate take me on its shoulders. Finally, some actual excitement in my life.
  272. >Or maybe I was trying to push away the fact that Anon was dead. I wasn’t going to lie to myself, that was probably the case.
  273. “Fine... Lead the way, good sir.”
  274.  
  275.  
  276.  
  277. >I attempted once more to charge at the little cretin.
  278. >”I can’t wait to see how well you fare with magic. You can’t even run, let alone walk properly.”
  279. >I didn’t care what he even meant, I just wanted to grab him with my hands- Er… ‘Hooves’? And wring him out like a towel.
  280. >Once more I tried to approach him, yelling and swinging my arms at him. He picked me up effortlessly by my neck, hanging me from the air. That little…
  281. “PUT ME DOWN! RIGHT NOW! Once I get my hands on you- Mmmf!”
  282. >He covered my mouth with his hand that looked like a lion's paw, and wagged his talon finger in front of my face. “Anon, Anon, Anon… You just keep persisting, don’t you? That stubborn attitude will get you faaaaaaaaar…! I am SOO sure of it.”
  283. “I bet you have a lot of friends, too, buddy. Once the police find out you’ve kidnapped me, the entire army’ll be after you!”
  284. >“Ah ah ah, we’re not in that rat’s nest of a country you call ‘Ameeerriiicaaa’, anymore. We’re in EQUESTRIA!”
  285. >Confetti and fireworks explode around him as a giant, neon flashing sign reading ‘Discord Land’ floated above him. “Oops! My bad! That’s for later.” He snapped his talons and the sign changed to ‘Equestria!’. “Isn’t it lovely?”
  286. “What's Equestria?”
  287. >He gave me a deadpan expression as he carelessly dropped me back on the ground. “One thing goes into your ear and out the other, doesn’t it? You aren’t a very good listener, I take it?”
  288. “What?!? I’ll have you know I am a very GREAT listener!” I wasn’t letting him get me this time, screw this guy. It took a lot of effort not to break my teeth from how hard I was gritting them.
  289. >”Prove it, then... What is my name?”
  290. >...I had already forgotten his name. Have to think of something… Come on come on… Got it!
  291. “Ao.. Kuang...” I said it with utmost confidence, crossing my arms and giving him a sly smirk.
  292. >”...Dear mother of Celestia, you really stuck it with the whole ‘Chinese Dragon’... I feel truly insulted, I am WAY better than those fable dragons you humans came up with.”
  293. >Ugh… He had me… Knowing there was no way to win this fight, verbally or physically, I just plopped my head on the ground and groaned. For some reason, I found it really difficult to lay down properly, my legs felt weird.. Oh right, horse now.
  294. >”By the way… Like I said BEFORE!” He emphasized every word he said. “My. Name. Is. DISCORD! Not ‘Ow Chang’! I am the God of Chaos! Not a pool noodle!”
  295. >After finding a proper position to lay down, Discord knocked on my head, making a ‘clunking’ sound each time he knocked. But I tried to give him the cold shoulder.
  296. >Hey, maybe I shouldn’t give him a hard time… Besides the fact that he had teleported me out of my own world against my own will, used me as his own entertainment, and now is quizzing me on some really unfair stuff…
  297. >Yeah, I had every right to hate him.
  298. >”Are you even listening? Ugh, kids these days, am I right folks?” An invisible crowd began applauding and laughing at his remark while Discord bowed down several times. “Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here yesterday!”
  299. >Noticing how glum I was, he stopped his act and hovered down towards me.
  300. >”Hmmm… Even after you’ve admitted defeat several times, you somehow get up and fight back…Regardless of how you look now.. I have to say, your perseverance is very interesting…” I grunted at his comment, jerking myself away from him.
  301. “Hmph… Why do you care…?”
  302. >”Because you seem to have a knack for causing a fuss and some… trouble…”
  303. >Discord gave a toothy grin, a fang protruding proudly from his smile. He hovered down and flicked something on top of my head, making a ‘DOOOING’ sound.
  304. >”And yet you have failed to acknowledge the gift I have given you. I thought some sort of appreciation would come forward.”
  305. “Don’t change the subject! What do you mean I have a knack- Wait, what? What’s this?”
  306. >I attempted to reach up towards the thing he flicked, but I couldn’t grab it with these stupid hooves. Discord pulled a unicorn horn off my head, spitting and rubbing it, causing it to sparkle and shine.
  307. >”To think I let you come here and the only thing you do is quarrel; well this might be better than I thought...” He rubbed his hands together slowly while chuckling lightly.
  308. >He slaps the horn back on my head, flattening it. It pops back out after a couple of seconds. I have a little fire left in me, let’s see if he sees THIS! I make a final leap towards him, pushing my legs as much as I could off the ground.
  309. “YOU LITTLE…”
  310. >Only I was stopped… Midair… Again… Discord has a point, I should stop picking fights I can’t win… Instead of giving his usual mocking tone, he approached me warmly. He gave me a friendly smile.
  311. >”Ahah! I knew I chose the right gal for this ‘project’.” He elbows me with his arm playfully. “I really like the way you take things, Anon. Really... Makes it all the more amusing... BUT!” A dramatic pause, he stared at me with cold eyes. My eyes locked in place, I couldn’t move them, even if I tried.
  312. >”Number one... Do NOT, under ANY circumstance, hurt ANYPONY. You heard me Do NOT-”
  313. “YEAH! Yeah… I heard you… Jeez…”
  314. >”No need to be so snappy, you’re not making a good impression when it comes to LISTENING TO DIRECTIONS-”
  315. “Holy crap! Can you get more annoying!?!? I get it, don’t hurt anyone!... But that only means you’re the only one on my list…”
  316. >”Yeah yeah, whatever keeps you silent…Number TWO… If you EVER attempt to-”
  317. “Wait, any’PONY’? What does that mean? Wouldn’t that be… In a way, racist towards you-”
  318. >Discord literally takes the edge of my mouth, and zips it up with a zipper. How the did he do that?!? Nevermind… God of Chaos and all that...
  319. >”You say I’m annoying, but you won’t even listen, let alone let me speak!”
  320. “Mmph!”
  321. >”That’s what I thought… Again, number two… Ever attempt to tell our secret to anyone besides each other, I’ll dispose of you like a wrapper on a hayburger…”
  322. “Hmph Mmmph mmph?”
  323. >”Yes, a ‘hay’burger. Ponies don’t eat meat- Ugh, stop changing the topic.”
  324. “Hmmph- Gah! Thanks for unzipping that, it was rusty tasting…”
  325. >”Oh, no problem- Wait… Was that a THANK YOU?” His eyes open wide, each one popping out as they scurry around and on top of me. Examining me from my head to the bottom of my lower hooves.
  326. “Dude, what the heck! That’s gross!”
  327. >I shoo them off using my hoof, causing them to climb back up to their owner. Discord pops and pushes his eyes back into his sockets, causing them to spin around until they realign back. “Oh ho ho… It seems we’re actually getting along…?”
  328. “Don’t get used to it…”
  329. >”Lighten up a bit, enjoy the stay! Because you won’t be going back…” He deepens his voice threateningly at his last remark.
  330. “So you’ll send me back if I’m incompetent? Might as well just tell everyone what you’ve done...”
  331. >He laughs and produces a weird vortex in the air, turning a part of the scenery partially black. “Anon, there are worse places in this dimension I can put you...”
  332. >He opens it up to what looks like a frozen wasteland. A large gust of cold wind knocks me back, my only resource to avoid flying away being a nearby oak tree. I hugged onto the tree for my life, yelling back against the howling wind.
  333. “G-Good…! P-P-Point…!”
  334. >I could even feel the rigid cold gusts surpass my fur, piercing through my skin. ”Now are we going to play nice?”
  335. >Discord closes the portal which cuts off the icy wind allowing me to get back on the ground. The area that the portal released the storm was entirely frozen, even the tree was frozen in place like it was still being pushed by the wind. I faceplanted onto the grass, my face being covered in snow and mud.
  336. >I slowly lift myself up, a mush of brown icky slush sliding off my face. I unamusingly look at Discord as he grins happily next to my face. “So… ready for round two of my little game?” Without looking at him, I respond in a monotone, bland voice.
  337. “Wooo… Why not…?”
  338. >”EXCELLENT!” I leapt into the air as his utter excitement and yell surprised me. In an instant, he snaps his talons once more, teleporting us away from the forest.
  339.  
  340.  
  341.  
  342. >Our trip to the strange man’s house was pretty long, must have a giant mansion or something.
  343. >I was wrong. The guy seemed to live in an RV parking lot on the outskirts of town. How the… is this guy even a professor to begin with?
  344. >His RV was all the way at the end of the lot, looking as if it’s had better days. Some of the paint was chipped off from weather and whatever part wasn’t chipped had aged from white to a yellowish-tan color.
  345. >We both stepped out of my car once I had properly parked it. After locking it securely I examined his abode some more.
  346. >Underneath the home was just pure darkness, no life, just dry dirt. Yet around overgrown grass invaded the RV’s perimeter. Each step we took filled my head with more and more confusion… But I yearned for that confusion, the unknown of life I didn’t know and the world. It actually felt more exhilarating than going back to work…
  347. >But I knew I had to make a living… For Anon’s sake...
  348. >Both of us approach the door and the strange man starts to tap around his pants, looking for his keys. “Excuse me for one second…” Lifting them up triumphantly he opened the door. “Hmm, I don’t think I properly introduced myself!”
  349. “This doesn’t seem like a formal way to introduce ourselves.”
  350. >”Pffff… Why does that matter? Seems like you’re used to the modern normal life! Not here, bud, all kinds of strange with me. And WELCOME! To my…. Humble very super small tiny laboratory at the edge of town!” That was a mouthful…. He swung open the door dramatically and extended his hands out to emphasize what “amazing” mysteries lied inside.
  351. >We both stepped in, and it didn’t look that bad. The kitchen was turned into a makeshift laboratory with all kinds of different electronic devices on the counter. The counter was relatively large and took up most of the van, making a large ‘U’ shape with a small door at the bottom of the ‘U’ to get in. Each cabinet affixed onto the walls were filled to the brim with different containers From flasks, test tubes, burets, anything you’d usually find in a lab. The containers held different labelled compounds, all in alphabetical order.
  352.  
  353. >That was the left side of the home, towards the right was a small table attached to the wall and a couch that nearly blocked the door. Above the couch was a medium sized window. The very right side had a small door that led to a closet and another to a bathroom.
  354. >While examining the home, the man had gone to playing with his lab gear over in the kitchen. “Hey, come on over here, I won’t shoot you with a lazer gun or anything!” He gives back a childish grin. I couldn’t help but smile for once, this guy was something else…
  355. “Where do you keep your food and supplies?”
  356. >”Who needs food at home when you can always order out?” He points to an overflowed trash bin filled with empty chinese food boxes.
  357. “I wonder how your toilet even looks like after all that chinese food every single day.”
  358. >”Naw, each week I go out to different place, last week was mostly chinese food. Now this week is… Chinese… Food… I tend to lose track of time…” I chuckled at his remark.
  359. “Seems like you get a lot done around here.”
  360. >Despite the size, it seemed like he had a lot relatively going on. Different chemicals bubbling under bunsen burners, gases being transferred from different tubes connecting to a machine. “It looks like a lot is going on, but I just do this stuff for fun.” He gestures towards the devices I was looking at. “NOW THIS!-” He hides behind the counter and pops back out with… A tin-foil hat… Oh…
  361. “For the aliens…?”
  362. >”YEAH!- Wait, how’d you know?” My unamused expression said everything. “That obvious?” I nodded in response. “Buuuuuuuut…! It may look like an ordinary Tin-Foil hat…” He pressed a button on the side. The hat opened up a little hatch at the top, popping out a small satellite dish. “You can use it to hear different frequencies of waves transferred from the vast infinite regions of the cosmos! Without the aliens brainwashing you… Pretty nifty, huh?”
  363. “So it tracks sounds from space from where you’re standing without any problem…?”
  364. >He shrugged and put the hat away. “Basically… Surprised you actually understood me.”
  365. “Guess I remember more than I thought from high school.” Actually, he didn’t use too much science jargon, anyone with a brain could understand what he said. The man slams his hands down on the counter quickly and stares me down.
  366. >“Now… Time to introduce myself… My… Name… Is….” Total suspenseful silence. This guy was like a living cartoon. “... Is….. Professor Fritz. But, you can call me Fritz.” His body loosens up and gives back a welcoming smile.
  367. >No way… That couldn’t be his name… Yet I liked it, no doubt about it. Since it didn’t seem to be his real name I decided to share my old nickname; one that reminded me of better times. I folded my arms and nodded as I traded my name.
  368. “Aksel.”
  369. >He tried the word out, mouthing it silently to himself first. “Aksel… Aksel Aksel Aksel Aksel… Is… Is that German derived?” Fritz tilts his head and looks at me curiously.
  370. “Yeah.”
  371. >”Sounds a bit Hebrew, too. You German?”
  372. “No, I’m not.”
  373. >He seemed to notice my lack of interest in explaining my origins, so he awkwardly shuffled back a bit, twiddling his thumbs. “Okay… Uh, pretty good name.” To break the silence he began to extract 5 jars from one of the cabinets next to him labeled “Spontaneous Gelatin Samples”. Each jar contained this odd purple goo that was emitting a weird purplish aura.
  374. >”This is what the aliens left me… You can say it’s some form of ‘gift’.” Goosebumps fill his body as he lets out another sound of excitement. I pick up one of the jars casually and move it around my hands.
  375. “So… What is this stuff? Some kind of radiating moisturizer?”
  376. >”Oh trust me, it’s not that, I’ve tried-” He stops mid sentence and begins to blush. Okaaaay…. “W-Well, uh, that’s what I was going to do today, find out what this stuff really is!” He regains his confidence at the end, but still slightly blushing.
  377. >”Now. Ahem… Sorry… You see I have an electrophoresis station already set up.” He slides a machine up towards me from the edge of the counter and gives a pat on the side.
  378. “I don’t remember learning that in high school.”
  379. >Fritz sighed and began to explain, impatiently moving side to side. “It’s an experiment where you mix two goos and zap it to try to figure out the composition of the goo being tested”
  380. “Seems simple enough… How’ll that help us determine what it is?”
  381. >”C’mon! You should know this! Fiiiiineee…. You see…” He went on for almost a good thirty minutes explaining how the machine worked and determining what the goo was. It’s what he said before, putting one goo in another, zapping it, and based on how far it goes in the first goo determines how big the particles are.
  382. >Though in the middle of his lecture, I couldn’t help wonder why I was still going with this. I had a job that I was probably going to be fired from…
  383. >I’d probably have to make arrangements for Anon’s funeral, even if we had no family left to show up… Maybe just me is enough, Anon deserves it… I notice that I keep grasping onto Anon, even though I mentally tell myself that it’s pointless. She’s gone, you’ve mourned enough, John… No need to get too emotional now...
  384. >”.......And that’s it! You got it?
  385. “For the most part.”
  386. >“Alright let’s test these out.” And so Fritz and I began to pour the first sample of goo into the machine and set up the electric rods to send a current. However, before turned it on, a giant bug flew onto the table. It was a beetle the size of a child’s fist, pretty huge to be a common household pest.
  387. >Right as Fritz caught eye of the bug, he placed his hand on my chest and lightly pushed me away. “W-Wait! Don’t hurt him!” He gently let the insect crawl up to his palms, lifting it up towards himself. “Ringo... What are you doing outside of your habitat? You could get hurt during our experiments.” It almost looked as if Fritz was telling a child not to play in the mud. It was a bug, not a kid.
  388. >Fritz began to put Ringo back into his cage located towards the back of the kitchen near a little lamp that provided light for the little habitat. It had leaves, a small piece of log, and some dirt. “I thought I repaired the hole in the screen! Stupid Pet Zone… Never treats their animals right…Or puts effort into their pet merchandise…”
  389. “What’s that beetle?
  390. >He looks back at me, disgusted. ”A rhinoceros beetle…? The most noble and precious of its species... What else would it be?” Before I could say anything else that would anger him, I proceeded back with the experiment.
  391. “Alright. Now I know. Anyways, can we get back to work?”
  392. >”Of course, let me get Ringo in there… Making sure I patch this hole with a cover for now. ...There we go! Now back to work!” After a couple more things were set in place and everything was in standard condition, it seemed we were ready to fire things up.
  393. >”Aksel! My assistant! FLIP. THE SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!” Fritz said as he did a mad scientist pose, raising a clawed hand in the air. Daw… That’s adorable… And creepy… “J-Just push the start button, Aksel…”
  394. >Part of me wished that he had a huge switch on the wall that would throw arcs of electricity everywhere. Cliche, but it would be an amazing experience like in those generic mad scientist movies.
  395. >At first nothing seemed to happen but after a few minutes, the goo started to radiate light of higher intensity, but it didn’t move across the goo like Fritz explained it would...
  396.  
  397. >The goo began to move through the gel, but all of it clumped and gathered in the middle. Fritz curiously watched as the substance started to separate from the gel.
  398. “Based on what you told me, I don’t think this is right…”
  399. >I stepped back, my gaze switching between Fritz and the purple goop. Fritz stepped even closer to examine the phenomenon.
  400. “Uhh, Fritz… I don’t-”
  401. >The goo jumped off the machine and latched onto Fritz face. I quickly went over and tried to rip it off. He stopped me before I could get a grasp of the creature.
  402. >”Wait! Hold on…” He starts stretching and pulling the goo off his face. Wow, he was actually really calm about the whole thing. The substance slowly peels off his face, letting out a very muffled but audible screech.
  403. “Is that thing… Alive…?”
  404. >”WOW! It is!” Fritz eyes the critter as it flailed in his hand. “This is incredible! A transparent purple parasite, maybe? I’ve never seen a species like it!” Before he could investigate further, the creature bounced off his hand and started jumping all over the place.
  405. >It ricochets off the walls, machines, and cabinets, Fritz staring in awe. Why did he just stand there?!? I tackled him down onto the ground. “OW! Hey, what was that for?”
  406. “Did you not see what it just did? It’s flinging all over the place and tried sucking off your face! It’s best we take cover, it could be deadly.”
  407. >Speaking of the devil, the sludge landed right next to us and started oozing along the floor. Fritz took the opportunity to grab the jar and capture it. It noticed him, and starts to bounce off again. “Quick, Aksel! Help me get it in the jar!” He stood up despite my attempt to protect him. I dusted off my pants and kept a level head trying to get the thing back into the jar.
  408. “Alright alright…”
  409. >The only thing visible was a purple blur that was impossible to track where it would land next. I took one side of the lab while Fritz took the other. It took several attempts and dodges to finally get it cornered.
  410. >Fritz slowly crept towards it while it shivered in the corner. “C’mon, little guy, we’re not going to hurt you…” It leaped over him, grazing his crazy hair and getting caught in the fuzzy mess.
  411. >He takes the jar and slowly rips the thing off his head. Oof… That looked like it hurt...
  412. “Doesn’t that hurt…?”
  413. >”Ehhh… Y-Yeah, a bit- Ow! But I’ll get over it, heheh…” He got all of it into the jar, but immediately it hops out and onto the floor. “I should have put the lid on, oops…”
  414. “We’ll catch it again, we just have to be quicker this time-”
  415. >”THERE IT IS!”
  416. >Fritz dove for it, sending some supplies and machines falling onto the ground as he slams the jar over it, capturing the goo once and for all. “Well, that was something, right Aksel… Aksel?”
  417. >I nodded my head at the entire commotion. Jeez, what the heck was all that, and how was that thing sentient?
  418. >What did I get myself into? I risked my job and home for all this. To get pounced on by some freaky experimental disaster? I sighed and looked at Fritz with concern.
  419. “Look… This was really crazy and amazing to get to know you and do this, but I don’t think I’m cut out for research science. It was fun, but I don’t see how this will help me find my daughter. I understand you just wanted a friend or someone to be with, but I can’t waste anymore time...”
  420. >He looks down in disappointment after my words. “So you still don’t believe me…” Awww… I hadn’t meant to hurt the guy's feelings, it’s just… I saw no purpose for all this. He said it was a clue to proving Anon was alive, but how?
  421. “It’s not that I don’t believe you… Really, I believe you more since that ‘thing’ wasn’t alive before and now it is. Looks like some sketchy stuff, and the way they said Anon was killed didn’t really add up. The building just… Exploded or disappeared randomly.”
  422. >Fritz’s eyes lit up at my reasoning, clutching the jar with his two arms like a little child. “So you do believe me! Trust me, with some more tests, scans, data, we can figure-” You interrupt him with one last statement.
  423. “I just don’t see much progress…”
  424. >”B-BUT AKSEL! We made more progress than ever together! Just now! RIGHT. NOW. C’mon, just look at what we accomplished!”
  425. >He raised the jar up to me, his childish expression next to it. The specimen was slamming into the walls of the jar, trying to break it. Whoa, I could have swore I heard some growling coming from it.
  426. “Fritz...”
  427. >He looked at me with curious eyes, searching my face for what I could be asking.
  428. “I can’t... I’m risking the little I have left by doing all this. After all, it looks like you have it covered.”
  429. >I gesture towards the entire lab and setup. By the looks of it, he hadn’t liked my rejection. Fritz places the jar down slowly on the counter and looks down at it depressingly.
  430. >”But... I could always-“ I stopped him mid sentence.
  431. “I’m sorry Fritz but this just isn’t the kind of thing I should be involved with right now. It was fun, but in the end, I hope you understand...”
  432. >Fritz didn’t reply or look over, he just kept staring at the shaking jar as the slime began to skid the jar around the table. He hastefully puts his hand on top to prevent it from moving, but his actions lacked focus or energy.
  433. >I got my bearings and headed for the door, looking back at the guy… He looked so sad, like a little boy who lost the science fair…
  434. “I’ll, uh… Come by again to see if you have any more progress on my daughter… Maybe take this new discovery to the official people on the case or something… Just a suggestion.”
  435. >I walked out of the mobile home, Fritz still staring at the jar. “Yeah….” I walked towards my car and stepped into the driver's seat. I started the engine and glanced back at the little lab at the edge of town as I drove away.
  436. >Poor guy, he just needed a friend. Maybe, I needed a friend, too…
  437.  
  438.  
  439.  
  440. >I don’t even know what just happened, but I felt disgustingly sick. I turned my head and let it all out.
  441. “BLAGGHH! Ugh… Oh crap… Here comes more- AGH! BLACH!”
  442. >I swear…
  443. “What was that for- BLAGGGH”
  444. >”Side effects of teleportation, I suppose. You’ll get used to it…” Discord used his hand as a visor and scouted around the area.
  445. “Wait, t-teleporting i-is a c-c-common t-thing here? And w-why is it-t-t so cold…?”
  446. >The land was full of thick sheets of ice and snow. In some regions large evergreen trees were clumped together to form forests.
  447. >I turned my head to my right to see Discord lounging on a chair. The area around him was entirely melted and replaced with sand.
  448. >He paid no attention to my question whatsoever as he sipped on a straw connected to a coconut.
  449. >He could have at least gave me the same treatment… The wind howled loudly, the harsh snowfall buffeting my skin and fur. Ice was starting to form on the tip of my nose.
  450. “A little help o-over h-here?”
  451. >”Hmmm? Was what that?” He lowers his shades and looks at me. “Anon! Enjoying the vacation?”
  452. “J-Just p-peachy! The c-cold is great!”
  453. >”What do you mean? It looks pretty sunny and warm to me.” The island around him starts to glow brighter and warmer.
  454. >I gave up on taking this guy seriously. All he wants to do is get on my nerves, and either way I can’t win a fight against him.
  455. >On the chair next to him was a warm coat and a viking helmet. That coat and helmet looks pretty warm...
  456. >I fought through the blizzard and got to the table, quickly slipping on the garments.
  457. “Ahhh… Much better…”
  458. >As I slipped on the helmet, my horn shrunk to let it fit on. That’s pretty cool, wonder if all hats worked that way here.
  459. >I turned to Discord and glare at him. He grabs one of the helmet’s horns and starts shaking my head with it.
  460. >“Lighten up, Anon... We’re on a vacation!” He gestures around him to the wasteland
  461. >He poofs up a coconut with a little umbrella and hands it to me.
  462. >This guy… Stay calm, Anon… Stay calm…
  463. >I reached for the coconut but I realized I couldn’t even grip anything with these hooves.
  464. >”Come on… Take it, Anon, my hand can’t hold it forever.” He pushes the coconut closer until it’s pushing against my face.
  465. >I… Can’t… I JUST CAN’T.
  466. “Will you stop that?!”
  467. >I slap the coconut out of his paw.
  468. “First you make me super nauseous, literally leave me to freeze in what looks like the arctic, and you have the audacity to offer me a little drink!?”
  469. >He winces back at my reaction. “Yeesh, that temper… Almost pairs close to Fluttershy’s-”
  470. “And I can’t even grab a cup because of you! I’m just…! I’m just a cripple!”
  471. >He spits out his drink all over my face. Words cannot explain the anger… It felt like steam was rushing out of my ears.
  472. >”A cripple? That is highly unappreciative, young lady! And to think you’d appreciate that horn, well I never…”
  473. >I started to slowly approach Discord, causing him to walk back. He holds his hands out infront of him.
  474. >“Now now, no need to do something irrational…”
  475. “IRRATIONAL?!?! How can you even- AGH!”
  476. >However he quickly recovered and lifted me up in the air with his magic. I flailed around trying to escape his grasp.
  477. >Discord tries to poke me, but I bite back at him. “We’ve got a snapper!” A copy of Discord wearing fishing gear and a mustache hollers over to him. “Jeez! I can see ‘em sharp whites from all the way over here!”
  478. “I’d show you my fists if I still had them!”
  479. >“But Anon… That’s why we’re here, to help you learn about your new body.” The fishing Discord walks over and observes. “And to put them biters to good use.”
  480. >He teleports us again, causing me to vomit, once again, all over the snow. I wiped my mouth and just slumped over in the air.
  481. “Ogh… Not again…”
  482. >”Like I said, Anon.This place will help you master your new pony form. Welcome… To YAKYAKISTAN!” His magic disperses and causes me to plop into the snow. I pop my head out and look at the giant wooden fortress.
  483. “Yakyakiswhat?”
  484. >Two giant statues of yaks watched down on us, as if guarding both sides of the door. I give him a deadpan expression.
  485. “I’m not going home, am I?”
  486. >”Anon, would I ever go against my word?” That grin… I wanted to punch it SOO badly…
  487. >”I told the tribe we’d be arriving, can’t leave them waiting forever!”
  488. >Every single time… He just manages to piss me off. Just go with the flow, no matter how much you fuss, he won’t send you back...
  489. >Any remaining energy of hatred and anguish, I shoved it down for later. Felt bad for the next guy to cross me. They’re going to have it...
  490. >Discord yanks off one of the horns from my helmet and blows into it, sending off a loud signal. The sound echoed for miles as the entire ground shook.
  491. >He sticks the horn back onto my helm and starts pushing me around. “Now proper stature, Anon, make a good first impression.”
  492. >The large wood door began to slowly open. Each side of the door was being pushed by three yaks as it opened.
  493. >Behind them was a Yak somewhat bigger than the others, stomping valiantly out.
  494. >Oh, Yakyakistan. As in yaks. Meh… Good enough for me.
  495. >He trotted up to both of us, deep hoof marks left behind him in the white powder.
  496. >”Great, wise, and chaotic Discord!” What the heck, why is he speaking so loud?! Even with the helmet on I could still hear him.
  497. >”You arrive on time, as always.” He salutes Discord. Discord shrugs. ”Meh, it depends on my mood, but it’s good to see you, Dusty.”
  498. >”Ah, yes… I... Could miss out on helping the young ones train for a small moment...” His volume had become lower.
  499. >“YAK BROTHERS! Be good yak guards and watch baby yak soldiers while I talk to friend.” The guards nod and go inside.
  500. >Dusty’s words caused Discord to crack a grin. He slithers up to the yak and puts his arm around his thick, furry neck.
  501. >”I’m glad you mentioned your boot camp. Afterall… My daughter is going to enroll this year.”
  502. >WAIT WHAT? BOOT CAMP? ME?
  503. “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!”
  504. >Discord ignores my shouting, but I had caught Dusty’s attention. He gave me a disapproving look towards my defiant behavior.
  505. >“LITTLE CUTLET!” His voice rang loudly, causing me to fall over into the snow. Oh no, did I piss him off?
  506. “Uhh… Uh…”
  507. >A loud crunching in the snow begins to get louder and louder. Dusty looks down into the snow. “SPEAK WHEN YAK SPEAK TO YOU!”
  508. “Y-Yes, sir!”
  509. >”YOU CALL ME SKEPPARE DUSTY! NOW! SAY NAME!”
  510. “YES SKEPPARE DUSTY, SIR!”
  511. >”Do not think skeppare will let you off easy, little cutlet. You disrespect, you get punished!” The large yak takes a fat log lying in the snow and stomps in it, causing shards and splinters of wood to fly everywhere.
  512. >He just… Obliterated the entire thing… I’m not trembling over the cold anymore.
  513. >He brings his face close to mine and puffs hot air out of his nostrils. “Little cutlet understands…?” I nod frantically in response.
  514. >“STAND UP.” I stand hastefully, nearly tripping over. “MARCH!” I attempt to march, but fall over. Stupid fricken horse body! “Gleidr girl… I said MARCH!”
  515. >I pick up my face from the snow and see Discord just giggling by the doors with some yak guards.
  516. >”Is that my daughter?” Discord replies proudly. ”Why yes, it is my daughter. Isn’t she adorable?”
  517. >The guard looked perplexed at his response. “And she go to Dusty’s camp? Meyla go to camp full of boys?”
  518. >“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? STOP BEING MEYLA AND GET UP LIKE STRONG BULL!”
  519. >I groan and plant my face back into the snow, only to get my ear popped by more of Dusty’s commands.
  520. >This was going to be sooo fun… Someone help me...
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