Luan in Stitches

Luan sat in the car, the rare luxury of being the only Loud sibling in Vanzilla not lost on her. She was even allowed to lay down across the seat in the back, an almost unheard of privilege.

Mr. and Mrs. Loud sat up front as they drove her home from the hospital. Luan looked down as she lifted her shirt up. There was a line of stitches across her belly.

Nothing funny about that.

The van pulled into the driveway and Luan sat up. All her siblings were waiting for her on the porch, a handmade banner reading: 'Welcome Home Luan!'
She had only gone in for outpatient surgery for a hernia. Luan learned the hard way to not fill your prop trunk too full of old gags and then try to get them into the attic by yourself. Still, she smiled as her siblings waved to her from the porch.

Her mother helped her out of the van as she walked up to the house under her own power. The stitches didn't really hurt, in fact, the surgery relieved more pain than the recovery was causing.

Luan's upbeat outlook was quite the hit at the hospital before they gave her anesthetic. She was still a bit groggy as she was swarmed in a hug.

"We missed you, Luan!" Lola and Lana said in unison.

"I missed you guys, too"

"So, how was the herniorrhaphy? I trust the staff at Royal Woods General knew their scalpels from their surgical tubing?" Lisa asked

"Yeah," Luan smiled, a joke already loaded into the chamber "I guess you could say they left me in stitches!" She lifted her shirt to show them her stitches. Nothing like a little prop comedy, after all. She inhaled to laugh before her mother covered her mouth

Luan Loud! Did you already forget what doctor Klein told you?"

She sighed. "No heavy lifting or..."

This was the most painful part.

"Heavy laughter," her mother completed.

"That's right," Mr. Loud added, addressing the family. "No one is to make Luan laugh for at least a week, or her stitches could reopen."

She had managed to forget that little condition for the ride back. "But, how am I supposed to not laugh for a whole week? Laughing is what I do!"

Lucy stepped forward from the group of Loud siblings, a smile on her face. "I think I can help." Lucy took her big sister's hand "Come with me,"

Lucy led her past her siblings and into the house.

"So, you think you can really keep me from laughing for a week?"

"Trust me," Lynn said, following them into the house in front of the rest of her siblings. "If anyone can do it, she can."

They sat Luan down on the couch and Lincoln handed her the remote.

"We cleared the TV roster so you can watch whatever you want while you recover,"

"Aw, thanks you guys"

Lincoln handed her the remote as she punched in the number of her favorite channel. A blank blue screen with a passcode prompt replaced the daytime stand-up comedy she was expecting.

"Oh, yeah, we blocked any remotely funny channel," Lola explained, checking herself with her compact mirror. "You know, to help you recover."

"Oh, thanks," Luan smiled.  "I guess..." she mumbled. This was going to be a long, long recovery.

"We'll leave you to it, just call one of us if you need anything!" Lincoln said as the rest of the family gave her a goodbye hug and went their separate days. Luan looked back toward the tv once her siblings had gone. It was still a blank screen. Luan sighed, changing the channel.

She was met with more locked screens.

"Oh, come on! Everyone knows there hasn't been anything funny on Disney channel in years!" Luan moaned.

"So, are you ready to leave the land of laughter and embrace the eternal, all consuming void?" Lucy asked, startling Luan.

"Geez Lucy, you almost made me bust a gut!" Luan inhaled for her trademark laugh, only to have Lucy cover her mouth. After Luan had settled down from her scare, Lucy removed her hand.

"Yeah, good one," she said, hopping up on the couch next to her sister. "Now, if you really don't want your stitches to open back up, let me show you the dark and terrible world of reality television."

Luna gulped nervously as Lucy took the remote. She turned back to the tv, apprehension etched across her face. Lucy turned it on, and the assault began

"Yo, that's my girl bro!"

"No way bro, that's MY girl!"

"You're both wrong brosefs, that's MY GIRL!"

Luan looked desperately at Lucy, but she simply shook her head. "It's for the best. Trust me."

Luan suffered through three hours of drunk jerks screaming at each other before she basically pleaded with Lucy to end it.

Mercifully, Lucy turned off the television. "Good, you're on your way," she said, setting down the remote. "You've tasted suffering, but your journey has just begun."

Lucy took her hand and led her off the couch. "There's something I want to show you." Her younger sister led her up the stairs. "Lynn has agreed to trade rooms with you for the week."

"She has?" Luan asked nervously, slowly climbing the stairs in time to catch Lynn moving a some of her sports equipment into Luan's room.

"Yes. If we're going to keep your stitches closed, we need to isolate you from your old life."

"Good luck in there, Luan!" Lynn called over her shoulder as she entered Luna's room. "You're gonna need it..." she mumbled.

"You ready to rock, little sis?!" Luna asked as Lynn dropped her stuff in her new room.

"Heck yeah!" Lynn replied before closing the door. Luan heard the tireless riffs of her sister's guitar and frowned. Was it possible that she actually missed something she normally needed earplugs to drown out?

Lucy opened the door to Luan's new home.

"Welcome to the world of darkness."

Lucy had definitely taken advantage of Lynn's absence. Black paint covered the walls, and Lucy had made short work of Lynn's bed, replacing the sheets with black ones.

"Dark enough for ya?" Luan joked.

"We've only just begun our journey."

The door closed behind them.

One week came and went, and Lincoln hadn't really seen Luan or Lynn in that time. It wasn't as though he had anything to worry about. The roommate swap left both sisters in good hands. In fact, once her one week was up, Lincoln wanted to do something nice for Luan. His sister lived on laughs, and it had to be getting to her to be unable to laugh for a week. Lincoln gathered some money from all his sisters and himself, hoping to buy a pay-per-view comedy special.

Lincoln climbed the stairs and knocked on Lucy's door. A dark, brooding figure opened the door, locks of black hair hanging over her eyes.

"Hey Lincoln,"

"Hey, Lucy, have you seen..." Lincoln took a closer look. There was a black flower pinned to her shirt. "Luan?"

Lucy appeared behind her, a small smile on her lips.

"Lucy, what did you do?" Lincoln asked, alarm rising in his tone.

"She only showed me the way the world really is. The darkness is going to consume us all, and I have come to embrace it," Luan replied.

"If I had a heart, it'd be swelling with pride right now," Lucy chimed in.

"You were just supposed to keep her from laughing! Not make her into another you!" Lincoln asked.

"She didn't make me into anything, Lincoln," Luan replied, deadpan tone matching Lucy. "I've always known the truth, deep down."

Lincoln rubbed his eyes. "Whatever, you guys can go back to your old rooms now."

"Whatever..." Luan said, slowly trudging back to her room.

"Luan, wait!" Lincoln shouted, grabbed a hold of her arm to stop him. "We all pitched in and bought you that Daniel Tosh special on tv tonight!"

Luan stopped, and faced him. "That's really nice, Lincoln. Thank you."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow as Luan knocked on the door to her former room. He followed her, as Lynn answered the door. Lincoln could hardly believe his eyes. The formerly sporty tomboy had been changed into a tattered shirt and metal stud wearing rocker.

"Lynn... what the... what'd you do to your hair?"

Lincoln wasn't even sure where to begin. Her normal ponytail had been removed in favor of a shorter, more punk style. The old Swagger t shirt and red plaid skirt set off the look, finishing at her feet with a pair of old chuck taylors.

"Bro, I had no idea how awesome rock music is!" Lynn replied.

"Lynn, you still coming to practice in the garage, right?" Luna asked from the beanbag as she tuned her guitar.

"You know it sis!" Lynn called back into her room, flashing her the 'goat horns' or whatever the rock and roll thing you do with your hands is called. Lynn got a good look at her newly gothed sister. "Woah, what the heck happened to you?"

"The eternal blackness that is my soul is now visible for all to see."

Lynn laughed. "Pretty metal lyrics! I should write those down..." she said, scrambling for a pen.

Lincoln took a step back to try and comprehend the scene before him. Now he had two goth, and two wannabe rock star sisters, and wasn't entirely sure the Loud house could survive. He could only hope these bizarre changes wouldn't last.