Sororitas Shenanigans

"HWEE HAFF KHAP-TYURED THEES PLAH-NEET FHOR KAY-OHSS!!"

"There's no such thing as Chaos, you anorexic idiot! Why can't you see that it's all a bunch of superstition from people unable to explain the science of something!?"

It had been like this for the entire damned trip. It was bad enough that they had to keep dealing with Hollow Men... it was bad enough that their arrival had awoken a Void Kraken that nearly tore their ship apart just because it saw something tasty, and it was DEFINITELY bad enough that they had that blasted Kheradruakh hunting them down all because he wanted a head... but their troubles all became much worse when they had found the Hollow Men trying to pry into a ship that the Pre-Emptive Retaliation's sensors only registered as 'The Last Martyr'. An Adepta Sororitas ship.

The Sisters of Battle.

Honestly, the demon girl calling herself 'Red' thought they came upon a wonderful find. If her crew could be bolstered by the fabled Sisters of Battle that she read about so many times on websites from before being landed here, then it would have been an impressive fighting force... which only served to demoralize her when after careful sniping of the Hollow Men that most of the Sisters onboard were dead. From there, demoralization turned to raw nervousness when five of them were alive. Only heavily tainted by Chaos... and vehemently insisting Chaos and magic didn't exist. The irony was STAGGERING.

Of course, matters weren't helped when Cultist-chan claimed it was nice to see "fee-lhow fohllo-hwers ohf kay-ohss" and wanted to compare Chaos Marks, apparently due to having not met female Chaos worshippers for some time. Red truly believed the sisters would have destroyed the both of them had Kheradruakh not tried to strike at that moment... the sudden decapitation made the ex-Tzeentch girl called 'Lethe' lose her shit and bathe the whole area in warpfire. Turns out a sudden storm of fire makes a Dark Eldar assassin rush away, who would have thought? It also didn't hurt that the ex-Chaos Sisters were surprised when Red managed to get up despite her head being chopped off... living through that got their respect, and before Red knew it she had a small group of super-powered women deciding to tag along and see what else they would witness.

Their different quirks quickly became... apparent. Their leader Alicia was DAMNED good at settling disputes and keeping shit in order, but constantly needed dark chocolate to keep in an agreeable mindset. The ex-Slaaneshi Sabine was absolutely brilliant at art and could hear VERY well, but she was also a fucking drug addict who knew less of "personal space" than Cultist-chan did (a feat Red once thought impossible). The ex-Nurglelite Verena did wonders for the morale of the crew due to her attitude and was surprisingly skilled at medicine, but she was a walking plague factory and more insistent on her atheism. Decima... she was SURPRISINGLY intellectual for an ex-Khornate and was just as dangerous in combat, but she had a literal bloodlust and kept a Juggernaut Daemon that she babytalked... and the second a crewmate snickered over her babytalking to it, she slaughtered a dozen nearby humans before Alicia calmed her down. To say nothing of Lethe's oxymoronic insistence that magic didn't exist despite her vast knowledge of it.

To top it all off, all of them were showing signs of jealousy. And attraction... over her. The asexual magic-wielding spliced demon. Somewhere, her benefactor was laughing in Tzeentch's face on the true concept of 'ironic hilarity'.

The slow travel through the gravity well of the Heathen Star was, as such, filled with constant bickering and death threats from Cultist-chan and the Sisters debating with each other and going on and on about what 'was' and what 'wasn't' and all manners of things. All while the Sisters seemed to keep gently nudging each other and giving glares over the course of the trip depending on who was the closest one to the obviously demonic amazon. She certainly didn't blame the Pre-Emptive Retaliation's bridge crew for being nervous.

Of course they had to choose the place to loot, as well. Red had crossed Blight off for the constant Hollow Men incursion... they had been constantly doing skirmishes ever since they were beaten back from the Last Martyr, and going to a concentrated place wasn't too fun. The Outer Sea was worse off due to the aforementioned Void Kraken... when all five of the Sister agree on one thing without argument, it was a sign to avoid it. Even though it was the easier place to scavenge, it would have to be passed... and the second world of Decay had only triggered another Hollow Men attack, this one the worst one they suffered. All ships suffered plenty of damage and further limited their precious time. That only left the murky world of Oblivion.

Which of course, had led to their current predicament of Cultist-chan trying to 'claim' the planet. And the issues at hand with Lethe looking ready to burn her from existence.

"Cultist-chan, no one's fucking claiming ANYTHING save for the resources we find here! Lethe, don't kill her, you're just going to make another crew member explode and the attacks are making us run short on manpower as is! Prove you're the better girl and ignore her!" The response only made Lethe silent for a bit before she grinned widely. "The better girl? Really~?" Verena looked nervous before Alicia had to explain that it was to keep Lethe from freaking out. And that the demon girl didn't mean anything by it.

Deep down, Red was VERY stressed and dismayed. This whole thing was a powder keg waiting to go off, and each one was a fucking basket case that would need YEARS of psychological therapy, to say nothing of multiple ABA sessions.

Still, landing on Oblivion had proven to be a blessing in disguise. The minerals on this world were VERY rich, and the Enginseers had gone nearly mad with all the readings they had gotten... it actually came down to Red needing to tell them to start mining before they went and did the whole 'worshiping' thing again. Right in front of the Sisters. Honestly, the whole thing had gotten as complex as hell and Red wasn't exactly thrilled at the sudden politics that came into play. ...still, with the 'Lapsed Pacifist' and the 'Litany of Litanies Litany' rotating on ore loading and overwatch, it was a relatively simple time. Simple, if not busy with the occasional wreckage that was found as well. More weapons and parts for use were always welcome, and the crew needed some spoils as well. Coming home with all of this would be a massive morale boost for the citizens back on the planet.

Red's thoughts were interrupted when an obsidian hand tapped on her arm and Alicia spoke up. "Ma'am, one of your technicians is jumping up and down again. Claims he's found something." Well... hopefully it would be something beneficial. Then again, it could be anything with the Enginseers. "Alright, let's check it out."

"Hwee hwill tayhke eet fhor kay-ohss!!" "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS CHAOS YOU IGNORANT LI-"

It was going to be an annoying time...

=============================================

It was an INTERESTING time.

The Enginseer wasn't bluffing it seemed. It was a torn apart section of a ship. Not just that, but the crevices had protected most of it from the ravages of time, leaving it fairly intact. Granted it was a section of the ship that didn't have a power source so it was mostly dark, but the fact that this section was so pristine... were it not for the planet, Red would have thought she was actually on a powered-down ship.

"Oooooooh man, I bet I could get SUCH A RUSH from snorting the dust here!" ...aaaaand of course, Sabina ruined the moment. Not like Red could stop her, she was already sniffing the dust off some of the railways and giggling like an idiot. Just... fine, whatever. If Sabina wanted to snort space dust, she could do i- "You knooooow, I bet this dust would be even BETTER if I snorted it off your tail!"

The sudden glares from all the other Sisters fortunately shut that down, and kept them from noticing how flushed Red's face got from that. Seriously, these people were just... WHY?! It was by the blessing of some god out there that their Enginseer's flashlight came upon a door. But not any door, a door that was blinking lights. It had its own power... which meant something was behind it.

"This... this is a-amazing! There's still power! D-don't worry ma'am, we'll be able to study the protocols of the door! Even discover the technology of this section. What knowledge the Machine Spirits here possess, the wonders we can le-" The Enginseer did not have enough time to finish before Decima's Juggernaut mount casually punched a hole through the door and pulled back to tear it from its placement... soon gnawing at it like a toy as the ex-Khornate patted the fiery beast. "Awwww, who's a widdle schmarty-warty schnookums, huh? It's yooooou! You're the schmarty-warty schnookums! You know machine spirits don't exist don't you? Yes you do! Yes you doooo!"

The look on the Enginseers face was one both of horror and sheer sadness. The kind of look you'd expect on a child who had their favorite toy stepped on in front of them.

Fortunately, Lethe proved to be a wonderful distraction as she looked in the room. "Ooooooh... Red! Reeeed! There's some science in here! Wonderful amazing SCIENCE!!" It was almost comical how the Enginseer's slouching practically disappeared as they looked inside the room as well... only barely managing to keep themselves from entering before Red. What was inside was... impressive.

It was a small cache, but no less impressive looking with not even a speck of dust on any of the items inside. All items were propped up, as if to be venerated as multiple red-cloaked figures were on the ground... flesh having rotted to bone by now, leaving only the numerous mechanical implants that seemed in prime condition.  The Enginseer was practically fangirling over an elbow-length gauntlet called a 'Vivisection Gage' that was on one of the figures along with what he claimed was a 'Jakara-type Spyrer Armor' in the corner, citing that he had never heard of one outside the planet of Necromunda. His voice nearly got as high-pitched as Decima's puppy talking as he noted the Inferno Pistols in an ornate box, even Alicia being impressed that they were here... much less so extensively modified.

"This is wonderful! Absolutely wonderful in all my years I didn't think I'd ever be in the presence of such technology! You only hear about these treasure finds by the legends of the Imperium! W-why, we could go down in history finding these! T-the Jakara-type Spyrer Armor is even as good as the power armor of the Adeptus Astartes! If we could replicate... ...it..." It was rare for an Enginseer to trail off, but Red could see why as she turned. A black chainsword that, for all its simplicity in design looked EXTREMELY well-tended to. "B-by the Emperor... The Black Death..." He soon collapsed to his knees and ended up mumbling, an act which made all the women stare in annoyance... even Cultist-chan was looking slightly ticked. Red had to nudge him a little bit. "Um... Enginseer Javran, why don't you explain what this is?"

The cybernetically-enhanced man seemed confused until he proceeded the question. "OH! M-my apologies, I mean... t-this is the Black Death! It's a c-chainsword that's modified with a Disruption Field! It can c-channel energies and nearly cut through anything! I thought it was only a legend, but for you to find it, i-it must be destiny! The will of the G-"  "Enginseer, can you tell me whether this technology will work still?" He seemed confused why Red would ask, but seemed sufficiently distracted. "O-oh, of course! The majority of these items are from the Dark Age of Technology, I-I mean... i-it's extremely dangerous to dig into such places, but the marvels they made were built to last! I'm positive they would w-IS THAT A PLEICIAN TOME?!" It was... an unusual sight to see a red-cloaked cyborg suddenly jump up and down. "BY THE OMNISSIAH THIS IS AMAZING I'M THE LUCKIEST ENGINSEER ALIIIIIVE! I-I've got to tell everyone!!"

The only thing more shocking than seeing that cyborg jump up and down was how casually he suddenly barged through the ex-Chaos Sisters and rush down the corridor screaming in joy. It was also a memory Red was fairly amused at, snickering like mad. An act that got Verena to scowl. "You know, Red... you shouldn't be encouraging belief in these false gods to them. You're only setting them up for sadness and shock later on when they learn there's no gods or any silly things. Why not tell them now?" It was a question that made Red tempted to prove otherwise... but for now there needed to be stability. "Simple, Venera. They're finding their way, and learning cannot be rushed. They'll understand the truth in due time, and attempting to push it will only cause problems. You need to be subtle... forcing views will only get them defensive."

"But it's the truth..." The twelve foot green-skinned woman was pouting a bit, but seemed to accept it... until Cultist-chan opened her mouth. "Thee twuth ish kay-ohss! Hyuu hall knhow eet, hwee hwill hwait to leet hyuu seey thee light~. Hwee are clheer-lee thee bheest girl hin dee rhoom..." Red wasn't sure what was more obscene; the fact that Cultist-chan would say that or that she would actually attempt to show off by twerking... and failing so miserably. It was like watching a chicken jerk around. Even Sabine seemed... disturbed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm very turned off by that."

It was a sad day when Red was WISHING that Kheradruakh would hit her with a decapitation that would actually take.